Eternal Sunshine #107

December 2015

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX  75149

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Welcome to the latest issue of Eternal Sunshine, the only Dipzine that mentions John Coltrane and Alex Trebek in the same issue.  That’s not much of an achievement I suppose, but at least it illustrates the eclectic nature of the zine. 


This month the issue is a mixed bag.  As I write this I am happy to report increased participation in the Top Albums of All Time By Decade contest, including some people who are not regular ES readers.  But other parts of the zine – the Diplomacy games proper and Hypothetical Questions as examples – are reflecting very low interest.  Does this mean the death knell for the zine is finally starting to sound?  Only time will tell.


Sadly death has been a major player in our household this month.  We had to put Miss Piggy, our super-sweet senior Black Lab, to sleep mid-month.  This was our second dog adopted as a senior, and we only were able to spend a little over two years with her.  It hurts a lot to lose someone like Miss Piggy, and that hurt is magnified when you feel like you never had enough time before you had to say goodbye.  Then again, senior dogs are so hard to place (and in the south, black senior animals especially) that we were very lucky and very happy to have those years to spoil her rotten and let her enjoy her “retirement.”  Considering the fact that she was diagnosed with cancer only weeks after we adopted her, I don’t think either of us thought we’d ever get this long with her.  But in the end it wasn’t cancer that took her down, but the obligatory bad hips combined with increasingly serious Lar-Par.


It was a Thursday morning Heather made the decision I’d been nudging her towards, that it was time to let Miss Piggy go.  Her hips were still bad (but the pain medication did help a bit) and her lar-par was worsening.  It had gone from heavy fast breathing after exercise to heavy fast breathing after moving with gasping after walks.  Through it all she’d wag her tale, even during coughing fits.  If she was hacking something and you asked “are you okay Miss Piggy?” she’d thump her tail to let you know she wasn’t choking to death.  A month or so ago she had a fit of some kind when I was at work; Heather had called in a panic…MP had been coughing, fallen over, couldn’t get up, wasn’t sure where she was.  When she did get up it was unsteady and unsure.  By the end of the day she seemed better.  But I didn’t want her to go through too many of those.


She was just so upbeat and loving – even though she didn’t DO anything, didn’t know what a toy was or how to play – it was as though she was more worried about you than you about her. 


So Heather made the appointment for Friday afternoon.  Thursday she took Miss Piggy out to the park to walk around and enjoy one of the nicer cool days we’d had, by good fortune.  Of course, Miss Piggy was more interested in seeing if she could go say hello to the people there and the town workers putting up Christmas lights for the annual display than smelling things.  She loved to meet people and animals.  Any animal...if she saw a dog, cat, opossum, squirrel, or raccoon she would pull you off that way as fast as she could to try and meet it.  And if she heard a child or baby crying she would always stop and listen.  Just the sight of a kid on a bicycle made her worry for the child’s safety.  If she saw a dog she recognized, but not in the yard they were usually in, she’d panic....such incredible protective, maternal instincts.


After work Thursday I brought home her favorite treat: carrot cake cupcakes.  She loved them, but always loved them MORE when Heather would eat one with her, giving Miss Piggy licks of frosting and pieces of the cupcake.  She didn’t just want the food, she wanted to enjoy the experience.  We also got some Whataburger burgers for her: one for Thursday night, one for Friday morning, and one for Friday just before.  It was the same sort of ritual we’d done with Kayza before we put her to sleep.


Friday Heather decided to bring Miss Piggy to Doggy Day Camp for a few hours so she could see her doggy friends and her people friends there.  Maximus – her little dachshund friend that like to lay on her – got on her back and barked at the other dogs to stay away.  That was unusual for her, as if she wanted to hog the last few hours with MP for herself.  The other dogs who usually just romp and play all came by to say hello at least once.  It is a mystery what they know or understand. 



I left work to meet Heather and MP at the vet, where we gave her another burger and another cupcake before we went in.  She usually is fine but she kept gently trying to turn around and leave when we in the lobby, which really made me feel like shit.  It was like she knew and didn’t want to leave for good.  It took another cupcake to get her to follow the vet out to get her leg catheter, and another to get her to climb on the blankets on the lowered table.  Then we moved it up, and she sat up and nuzzled Heather’s armpit.  The anesthetic worked fast as always, she couldn’t even manage to give Heather a kiss before she slowly slumped to sleep.  Then came the second injection, which didn’t fully stop her heart for a few minutes.  I know it works slower on big dogs.  I had to stare at her a lot afterwards, she still looked to alive.  Cats usually stick their tongues out and look dead immediately, but Kayza and Miss Piggy both looked like they were sleeping.  We stayed with her for 10 minutes or so and said goodbye.


I’m not afraid to cry, and I cried terribly there and plenty in the days that followed.  That’s who I am.


Heather and I take turns being miserable.  We skipped some things we’d planned on going to for weeks (including a charity event for shelter animals; but we’d bought the tickets so it isn’t like they lost our support), because there was no way we could enjoy them.  Bad timing; not that there ever is a GOOD time to lose a member of your family.  And Miss Piggy was without question part of the family.  The house seems much emptier without her. 


We plan on taking a break of maybe six months or more before we look at adopting another senior dog.  But who knows?  Heather has been browsing on and has an updated list of “favorites” on there.  It will happen when it happens.  Better not to plan it.



Hypothetical of the Month


Last month we gave you the following questions:


#1 – You are shopping at a boutique and happen to see actress Cameron Diaz in the store, with two HUGE mean-looking bodyguards keeping everyone at a distance.  You are almost positive you see Cameron slip an expensive designer wallet from the shelf into her tote bag.  What do you do?


Andy Lischett - I tell the manager that I saw a clown slip an expensive designer stuffed chicken into his tote bag. Wait! I think I got that wrong… Okay, I rat out Cameron to the manager.


Andy York - For the first part, I likely wouldn't be watching her close enough to see if she tried to lift a wallet or not. And, in the off chance I might have seen something, I probably wouldn't say anything as all I have is a "maybe" to go on.


Jack McHugh - Film it with my phone and make a mint selling it to TMZ....


Richard Martin - let cameron & the store deal with it. for all i know she has an arrangement with the store or will check out properly. of course you wouldn't see me in the wallet section anyways, since i never carry one.


#2 – You agree to volunteer with a local charity.  They ask that you let one of their charity cases come and eat a holiday dinner with you.  When he arrives, he is dressed in clown makeup, has a hammer in his belt, and is carrying a dead but taxidermy-stuffed chicken that he refers to as his “daughter.”  Do you allow him to enter your house and join you for the meal, as previously agreed upon?


Andy Lischett - Yes, I allow Cameron Diaz into my home to join us for dinner. I would also allow the clown in if he left the hammer outside. The next day I'd have a talk with the head of the charity.


Andy York - I wouldn't have agreed to it in the first place.


Jack McHugh - Sure, as your bitch you're always welcome at my house Doug....


Richard Martin - sure. it might be the most colorful dinner ever, with stories to tell for years!


For Next Month (For the time being, I am often selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish..but “this could never happen” is a cop out answer: #1 –Your workplace is doing a Secret Santa where you are supposed to bring in a gift that costs under $10.  You still have the unusual scented candle set you got from Secret Santa last year, and when opening the gifts at the office she told you she was the one who bought it. You have to leave for work in five minutes and stopping somewhere will make you late.  Do you recycle the gift as your Secret Santa contribution and hope your coworker doesn’t find out? 


#2 – You bought a new smart phone but declined the loss and damage rider.  They told you that you had 15 days to change your mind.  13 days later you step on the phone and smash it.  Do you now sign up for the protection knowing that you’ll be making a claim in just a few days, even if they ask you to confirm the phone is still in good working order?


The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews



For the time being I am reserving this section for exceptional films, or films we see in theaters.  I will also mention films that I backed on Kickstarter or other places, once I get to see them.  So some months there will be no Dining Dead section.


Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column


Andy Lischett - Mysteries of the Internet. When the last deadline passed I went to my Bookmarks and hit "Doug's Diplomacy and Eternal Sunshine Main Page" like I've been doing forever, and it came up saying that the latest ES was #105. So I came back the next day and the next and there was no change: still the latest was #105. After a week I Googled "Eternal Sunshine Doug Kent" and was offered "Doug's Diplomacy and Eternal Sunshine Page" (without "Main") and found #106. So now I went back to my Bookmarks and "Doug's Diplomacy and Eternal Sunshine MAIN Page" still only offers #105.


Anyway, I found you.


[[It all depends on what you had bookmarked.  If you go to or you’ll find the latest issue easily enough.]]


The Best Albums in History - By Decade


The 1960’s – Second Set of Five


Andy Lischett - Five more from the '60s. I'm going to have to omit Jimi Hendrix, Johnny Cash, the Zombies, the Troggs, Lou Reed, Led Zeppelin, the Byrds, the Animals, Donovan, Sonny and Cher, and the Turtles. Also missing will be the Crystals, the Chiffons (with He's So Fine, a song so good that George Harrison stole it), Betty Everett, Dusty Springfield, and the Shirelles, Martha and the Vandellas, and the Ronettes.


#6. Amazingly, in the first five nobody mentioned Bob Dylan. Internet lists love Blonde on Blonde but my #6 is Bringing It All Back Home, with the Subterranean Homesick Blues and Mr. Tambourine Man.


#7. Beggars Banquet by the Rolling Stones. Three Stones albums in my top 10? The Devil made me do it.


#8. Little Deuce Coupe by the Beach Boys. The song Shut Down is an existential tale of good versus evil: the narrator's fuel-injected Corvette Stingray battling a Ram-Inducted Dodge, AKA "The 413". The Dodge initially has the upper hand but the Corvette struggles back from the edge of oblivion. Yet the vagaries of a slipping clutch confuses and we are left pondering the fate of the combatants as the Beach Boys fade out with "Shut it off, shut it off, buddy gonna shut you down…"


(Also on this album are 409 and Little Deuce Coupe. If it had Good Vibrations, California Girls and Barbara Ann it would be just about the perfect sing-along album.) 


#9. Please Please Me by the Beatles. Yes, I am including a Beatles album. Sergeant Pepper or Revolver may be more "important" albums, but then I think, "Okay. In my left hand is the brilliant Srgt. Pepper and in my right hand is twenty minutes of forgettable stuff with one terrific song by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs. Which do I play? Wooly Bully!"

    But I can't pick Wooly Bully as one of the ten best albums of the '60s, so I studied up some more on Beatles albums and realized that Please Please Me is mostly very good stuff and includes my two favorite Beatles songs; Love Me Do and Twist and Shout.


#10. Since I am forbidden by law from picking the Best of the Lovin' Spoonful I pick Daydream. My favorite cut is Jug Band Music.


Carol Kay - While I was typing this and listening to Little Red Riding Hood ("You sure are looking' good") on the computer, Carol walked in singing along with Mr. Sham and asked what I was doing. So I told her and solicited her ten favorite albums of the 1960s, and they are...


1. Windy by the Association (although the actual album title is Insight Out)

2. Hums of the Lovin' Spoonful. This is the album with Summer in the City (plus Nashville Cats). What's weird is that I did not coach Carol or tell her my choices, and we don't play music around the house (and certainly not the Lovin' Spoonful) yet she came up with this. She also unexpectedly picked "The Jefferson Airplane album with White Rabbit" which was my #1 pick. However, although groovy, Carol is not psychedelic so Surreal Pillow did not make her final cut.

3. The Doors.

4. The Animals.

5. Yesterday's Gone by Chad and Jeremy

6. Meet the Beatles.

7. Summer Days (And Summer Nights!!) by the Beach Boys

8. Sounds of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel

9. If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears by the Mamas and the Papas

10. Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds


Martin Burgdorf - 1960 Miles Davis: Sketches of Spain


This album was released exactly one month after I was born,  and of course I heard it for the first time much

later. It captures well the spirit of Spain.


1961 Freddy: Auf Hoher See


Freddy was in the 1960s the man with most number one hits in Germany. Like Peter Alexander and Udo Jürgens,

who were also extremely successful in Germany, he was Austrian, but he lives since the 1950s in Hamburg. My

father had bought the record "De Hamborger Veermaster", and this song is one of my earliest musical memories.


1962 Beach Boys: Surfin' Safari


The "Surf Beat" flooded the music market. But after a while it was blown away by the Beatles.


1963 Beatles: Please Please Me


The Beatles established rock music. Their career began in the Star-Club in Hamburg. 


1964 Kinks: Well Respected Kinks


The Kinks had longer hair and more colorful clothes than the Beatles. They also played a harder kind of

rhythm 'n' blues.


1965 Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass: Whipped Cream and Other Delights


My father had brought a lot of records from a trip to the US, and I liked Herb Alpert best. From the moment

I learned how to operate the record player, my parents did not need a babysitter any more, because I did

nothing else any more but playing records.


1966 Frank Sinatra: Strangers in the Night


My mother was a big Frank Sinatra fan.


1967 Red Krayola: The Parable of Arable Land


Another record of whose existence I learned only longtime after its release. It was ahead of its time.


1968 France Gall: 1968


She was big in Germany between 1966 and 1972, but had her only number one hit there in 1988 (Ella elle l'a).

An aunt of mine was a huge fan, but did not know how to pronounce her name correctly...


1969 David Bowie: Space Oddity


He became a superstar in the seventies. He created something new: a mixture of nostalgia, decadence, space

rock, future rock, and cosmic rock.


Douglas Kent – My second 5 albums best from the 60’s:

The Beatles – Abbey Road

The Who – Tommy

Simon and Garfunkel – Bookends

Led Zeppelin – Led Zeppelin

The Doors – The Doors


Alan Novich - This is great.  off the top of my head, the only way i can really do this shit, and I guess in some order, and with my reasons (there's a lot of stuff I don't have on here cause I really didn't love it then, like Zep or airplane or bowie or early Allmans.......)   And there were some early sixties stuff that was great, but probably not great enough to make the list, like some Kingston Trio or Peter Paul and Mary or The Slightly Fabulous Limelighters or The Smothers Brothers at the Purple Onion.  All of these were great records, huge sellers, and responsible for the early 60s folk craze, which led to the rock craze.  If you went to the 50s, The Weavers at Carnegie Hall was some fucking record, Doug.   And for the record, I never liked Hendrix.



1. Abbey Road: the finest record ever made

2. Rubber Soul:  why this instead of Revolver?  I don't know.  It just bridged folk and rock beautifully.

3. Let It Bleed:  certainly the finest record the Stones ever made, and with some fucking landmark tracks.

4.  Pet Sounds:  needs no commentary

5. Music from Big Pink:  I give this a slight nod over "The Band", their second album, because it was so fresh.

6. Simon and Garfunkel:  Parsley Sage Rosemary and Thyme, a slight nod over Bookends, but slight.  They were HUGE.

7. Cream:  Disraeli Gears.   Wheels of Fire was one great record, but like all double albums, they're one great record.  Forget Bruce and Clapton;  Ginger Baker !!!!!!!  Wow.

8. C, S &N:  Crosby Stills & Nash (the first album)   I pulled the car over when I first heard Marrakesh Express on the radio.  Never heard anything like it.  Only happened to me three times in my life:  this, I Wanna Hold Your Hand, and Alanis' One Hand in my Pocket.

9. Buffalo Springfield:  the 1967 reissue of the 1966 record, putting in For What It's Worth.   A major band and a major record, and these boys spun off and  spun off and were responsible for so much of the seventies.

10. This is hard.  I gotta go with Cheap Thrills [Big Brother and the Holding Company] because it was so electrifying to hear, although I feel I should have the Kinks in here somewhere, I'll wait til the 70s, and I feel a little guilty not putting Tommy in here, but again, the 70s gave us Who's Next, which is the Casablanca of rock records.......not a dead syllable.


Frank Affinito: In no particular order, and for no particular reason.............


1. "Electric Ladyland" (Jimi Hendrix Experience)

2. "The Doors" (The Doors)

3. "The Beatles" (The Beatles)

4. "Live At The Regal" (B.B. King)

5. "Born Under a Bad Sign" (Albert King)

6. "East Meets West" (Ravi Shankar)

7. "Disraeli Gears" (Cream)

8. "Second Winter" (Johnny Winter)

9. "Meet The Beatles" (The Beatles)

10. "Are You Experienced? (Jimi Hendrix Experience)


Geoff Kemp - Oh god - this has been a nightmare trying to get this down to 2 lots of 5 albums,


the Final lists are


1; Moody Blues - The Magnificent Moodies.

2: The Zombies - Odyssey & Oracles.

3: Beatles - Abbey Road.

4; Bonzo Dog band - Tadpoles.

5. The Band - The Band.


set 2:


1: Doors - The Doors.

2: Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin II.

3: Pink Floyd - Piper at the gates of Dawn.

4: Beach Boys - Pet Sounds.

5: Simon & Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence.


Narrowly missing out were


1: Big Brother & the Holding Company - Cheap Thrills

2: Marvin Gaye - I heard it through the Grapevine.

3: The Move - Move.


Larry Peery - Carlo Felice Cillario (conductor), Montserrat Caballé & the RCA Italiana Opera Orchestra & Chorus for Rossini: Rarities - I only heard Caballe sing in person once but just remembering it gives me goose-bumps. Unquestionably she was the QE2 of the 60s in opera in more ways than one. I don't usually think of her as a Rossini singer, but she does these "rarities" very well.


Fritz Reiner (conductor), Leontyne Price & the Chicago Symphony Orchestra for Berlioz: Nuits d'Ete (Song Cycle)/Falla: El Amor Brujo - Price was another one of the great divas of the 60s and she had the perfect voice for Falla's El Amor Brujo; which is too often heard without the vocal part.


Julian Bream for Evening of Elizabethan Music performed by the Julian Bream Consort - Elizabethan music is an acquired taste and once you get past Greensleeves what's there to listen to? Actually quite a lot, as Bream shows.


Francesco Molinari-Pradelli (conductor), Joan Sutherland & the Royal Opera House Orchestra for The Art of the Prima Donna - Yet another great diva of the 60s, Dame Joan, perhaps the most charming opera singer (and football fan) I've ever met cranked out many operas during this period. And it's true, she wasn't much in the looks department and it is said they needed a forklift to get her back on her feet after she got on her knees (Something she quickly learned to avoid.), but what a beautiful voice with a purity of tone unmatched.


Erich Leinsdorf (conductor), Birgit Nilsson, Giorgio Tozzi, Jussi Björling, Renata Tebaldi & the Rome Opera Orchestra for Puccini: Turandot – In spite of Nessun Dorma, one of the most over-performed songs in opera, this is an all-star cast for Puccini's grandest work. Now, fifty years later, there are finally Chinese singers who can handle the role. I recently heard a performance from Beijing done with an all-Chinese cast singing in Mandarin. It was a musical revelation that I think even Puccini would have enjoyed.


Per Westling - SIXTIES

Not a big one for me, really. Think that the first album I bought was Movie music to Thunderball or something, probably in a cheap sale. And that was mid 70s or so.


So not much relation to albums from this period.


After googling for the best list I came up with:


Er... ah... Seem I have not heard any of the albums. Of course I had heard a lot of the songs but albums? Almost none.  I did buy a Beatles compilation maybe 10 years ago, but cannot really figure out any bands.  Should I listen through this? Nah, not that keen on 60s.


Did see a TV program about one of the albums, probably when it turned 40. And it was Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, so I'll put that on the list.


My second entry is an album I actually listen to from time to time but just during a part of the year. In its genre it might be the best of all times. And it is "A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector".


For third choice I will take one that I am pretty sure no-one else has chosen. I do have this on vinyl, LP. Am not sure it is the 1962 version, probably 70s, but it was first released in 1962.  It is the album from Boris Picket and his Crypt Cickers, with great songs as "Monster mash", "Transylvania Twist" and "Me and my Mummy". Great album!  [[Entitled “The Original Monster Mash” by Bobby (Boris) Pickett and the Crypt Keepers.]]


Looking through the other albums I select two albums that, after listening on Spotify, I can stand by even today:

* Aretha Frankling, I Never Loved A Man Like I Loved You.

* Eta James, At Last!

* The Sounds of Silence


I know, there are a bunch of good albums of the 60s, just that I never listened to them...


Paul Kent - John Coltrane - A Love Supreme

John Coltrane - Crescent

King Crimson - In the Court of the Crimson King

The Beatles - Abbey Road

The Beatles - Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

Jimi Hendrix Experience - Are You Experienced?

Gary Graffman - Prokofiev Piano Concertos Nos 1 and 3

John Coltrane - Live at the Village Vanguard

The Beatles – Revolver


Richard Martin (and not I am not including these in the final list since they violate all the rules…but I’ll still print them!  Oops, I just remembered that Live albums ARE permitted…just not soundtracks.  So Woodstock is out but the other two are good.) - i didn't really start getting into music until the early 1970s, so my sixties knowledge comes after the fact and will be pretty mainstream. since this is a journey of discovery, i won't fill my entire top ten with beatles albums (which i could easily do and only feel slightly bad about). revolver, rubber soul, abbey road, sgt pepper, magical mystery tour, hard days night, help...all great stuff. are you experienced? well, i am. who wouldn't want to revisit highway 61? break on through to the other side with the doors?


but in the spirit of the 60s, i'm going to break the rules :)


we shall overcome: complete carnegie hall concert by pete seeger - call me a commie, but i love this guy and his spirit


the woodstock albums by janis, hendrix, santana, the movie soundtrack, the non-movie soundtrack...all of em. stunning music created under the most primitive conditions. again capturing the spirit of the moment perfectly. but skip the one from ccr - john fogerty was right to try to hold it back, it's a pretty mundane set.


and one more for good measure:

the velvet underground & nico - really, this was made in 1967? it seems so far ahead of its time.


oh yeah, and one more for the music lists...another live record

james brown, live at the apollo - git down witcho bad self!


and if we're going the soundtrack route...

once upon a time in the west - sorry jim-bob, *this* is the best soundtrack ever!


Andrew Goff - OK. I’ll bite.



10. The Velvet Underground And Nico, The Velvet Underground And Nico

Noisy and dark, druggy and inspired. This is high art in its lowest form.


9. I Never Loved A Man The Way I Love You, Aretha Franklin

Apart from “Respect”, the whole album is just an amazing arrival of a great talent.


8. Let It Bleed, The Rolling Stones

If the Beatles defined pop music for a generation, then the Stone defined rock in the UK. This is brutal, aggressive, and very impressive.


7. Live At Folsom Prison, Johnny Cash

Rarely has a live album captured the spirit of both the artist and the live experience so completely.


6. Dusty In Memphis, Dusty Springfield

Gorgeous British soul recorded with some of the greats of the genre. Balm for the broken hearted.


5. Space Oddity, David Bowie

The best parts of the album are astonishing, and only the presence of a few misses prevents this from being higher on the list.


4. Sounds Of Silence, Simon And Garfunkel

Despite in some ways being a cobbled together collection of all sorts of bits and pieces, the simple quality of the songs is timeless and it still stands up as a great listen to this day.


3. Are You Experienced?, The Jimi Hendrix Experience

I don’t even know where to begin. Thankfully, Hendrix did.


2. Pet Sounds, The Beach Boys

It’s all about the arrangements. Previously often taking the cheap route, this landmark was rich and intelligent… and superb.


1. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles

Is this the birth of the modern album? More than just a string of songs together the technology and staggering breadth of the album was unrivalled and it’s a miracle it holds together at all.


Jim Burgess - Lots I wanted to add turned out to be 1970 albums... so hard... so I'll do mostly easy classics...


1) Revolver by the Beatles, I was NOT a Beatles fan as a little kid when this came out, but it is sublime.


2) Chicago Transit Authority by Chicago, I really wanted to choose Chicago II, but it came out in 1970, I may put that on my next list.  This was one of the first albums I listened to.


3) The White Album by the Beatles, see above, but this was the first Beatles album I owned, I figured out Revolver much later when I married Charlotte.


4) Crosby, Stills and Nash, by CSN, what a harmonious album...


5) Tommy by the Who, I wanted to do Live at Leeds, but that also is 1970.... many 1970 albums I'm going to choose next time.  I was not a fan of Tommy the album when it came out, but I LOVE Tommy the Rock Opera.


People Who Missed This Month (You Can Catch Up Next Month by Submitting 5 More 60’s Albums): Robert Rodday Jr., Jack McHugh, Howard Bishop.


Other People With Incomplete 60’s Lists: Richard Martin (need 6), Paul Kent (need 1), Per Westling (need 4).


Deadline for the first set of 5 Albums from the 1970’s is December 29th at 7:00am my time!  Feel free to include comments in your own choices, or on anyone else’s!


Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?


Turn 1


John David Galt:

Curt Schilling in Tokyo, Japan


Kevin Wilson:

Johann Sebastian Bach in Pretoria, South Africa


Andy York:

Doug Kent in Mesquite, Texas


Richard Weiss:

Oliver Cromwell in Brasilia, Brazil


Hank Alme:

George Clinton in Des Moines, Iowa


Rick Desper:

Prince in Minneapolis, Minnesota


Marc Ellinger:

Ronald Reagan in Berlin, Germany


Jim Burgess:

Pablo Picasso in Government Center, Boston, Massachusetts


Tom Howell:

Susan Glaspell in Schwyz, Switzerland 


Brendan Whyte:

Bill Cosby in Alcatraz, San Francisco Harbor, California


Jack McHugh:

Leonardo Di Vinici in Tokyo, Japan


Andy Lischett:

Albert Einstein in Madrid, Spain


Mark Firth:

Emil Zatopek in Christchurch, New Zealand


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me: I died before you were born.  Wrong nationality…but correct chromosome.


Turn 2


Jack McHugh:

Jesus Christ in San Paulo, Brazil


Andy York:

Doug Kent in Tangier, Morocco


Richard Weiss:

Niccolo di Bernardo dei Machiavelli in Lima, Peru


John David Galt:

Snoop Dogg in Marseille, France


Tom Howell:

Frances Sargent Osgood (born 18 Jun 1811, died 12 May 1850) in Zagreb,



Rick Desper:

Charles Darwin on Darwin Island, Galapagos



Hank Alme:

Tony Romo in Vientiane, Laos


Marc Ellinger:

Charlotte of Prussia (Alexandra Feodorovna) in Milan, Italy


Andy Lischett:

Anne Hathaway in Rome, Italy


Brendan Whyte:

Pope Innocent IV in Rome, Italy


Jim Burgess:

Marco Polo in Kabul, Afghanistan


Mark Firth:

John Bunyan in Hanoi, Vietnam




Kevin Wilson:

Anne Boleyn in Milan, Italy


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

You were born during my lifetime, but I died before you reached the pinnacle of your fame.


Turn 3


John David Galt:

Sir Francis Drake in Drake's Bay, California


Tom Howell:

Johannes Ockeghem in Manaus, Brazil


Andy York:

Gaius Caesar in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil


Andy Lischett:

Josephine Bonaparte in Sofia, Bulgaria


Richard Weiss:

Betsy Ross in Damascus, Syria


Rick Desper:

Simon Bolivar in Bogota, Colombia


Jim Burgess:

Christopher Columbus in Corunna, Spain


Jack McHugh:

Christopher Columbus in La Paz, Bolivia


Brendan Whyte:

Andrew Snowden on Mt Snowdon, Wales


Kevin Wilson:

Jane Austen in Florence, Italy


Mark Firth:

Douglas Fairbanks Jr. in Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei


Hank Alme:

Pope Pius III in Quito, Ecuador


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

You were born about 300 years before I died.  We were born on different continents, but as subjects of the same nation’s rule.


Turn 4


John David Galt:

Dolly Madison in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico


Brendan Whyte:

Queen Henrietta-Maria at Lake Titicaca, Peru


Andy York:

Ben Franklin in Naples, Italy


Andy Lischett:

Niccolo Paganini in Las Vegas, Nevada


Richard Weiss:

Thomas Jefferson in Mexico City, Mexico


Tom Howell:

Joseph Smith, Sr. in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada


Rick Desper:

Thomas Jefferson in Honolulu, Hawaii


Mark Firth:

General Franco, in Lima, Peru


Jack McHugh:

Mahatma Gandhi in Mexico City, Mexico


Jim Burgess:

Johann Sebastian Bach in Lima, Peru


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

We held the same office, but not at the same time.


Round 5


Brendan Whyte:

James Madison, enjoying the nightlife  in Tijuana, Mexico


John David Galt:

John Quincy Adams in Salt Lake City, Utah



Tom Howell:

William Henry Harrison in Pape’ete, Tahiti


Andy York:

John Quincy Adams in Cancun, Mexico


Andy Lischett:

William Henry Harrison in Pape'ete, Tahiti


Hank Alme:

Narendra Modi in Oaxaca, Mexico


Richard Weiss:

James Madison in Honolulu, Hawaii



Jack McHugh:

Woodrow Wilson in Acapulco, Mexico


Mark Firth:

John Adams in Pago Pago, American Samoa


Jim Burgess:

Theodore Roosevelt in Panama City, Panama


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

We also held the same office, but not at the same time.


Deadline for Round 6 is December 29th at 7am My Time


The Eternal Sunshine

Dead Pool




Has anybody else besides Schmidt, Weizsacker and (supposedly) Jihadi John died?  Scores are shown next to the player names…Richard kicked butt as John was only 27 years old, while Martin didn’t score as well with the advanced ages of his deaths.  Look over the lists; I didn’t really do so.

ZERO SUM3     Subzine to Eternal Sunshine    Issue 9    November 22, 2015


Published by Richard Weiss. 


GM Musings:

Jonathan J. Pollard is an American, who as a Navy intelligence analyst was a double agent and passed classified documents to Israeli handlers.  He was released from federal prison in Butner NC, after receiving parole on a life sentence.  He has requested, his wife has requested and BeeBee Netanyahu has requested he be allowed to renounce American citizenship and go to Israel.  The current administration won’t support such a plan.  What is notable about Pollard is that he has had a game named after him in an earlier Zero Sum version. 


Most zines have some naming convention.  Some have gone through various iterations of conventions, such as TAP.  I have yet to have had enough games to go through my lengthy list of double agents.  Seeing Zero Sum was originally for Dip, naming after double agents seemed highly appropriate.  I have continued that naming convention in ZeroSumCubed. 


Live music has been good in the past month: Hot Tuna, Richard Thompson, Blind Boys of Alabama, and Flamenco plus some garage rock/cover bands in bars.  I live really close to a 1,250 seat venue with “world class” acoustics, now 4 years old.  Located at  a Junior College, they have the typical college-circuit performers.  That’s as big a venue as I ever want to go to, just because its so different to be in the first few rows as far distant.  On the list for the rest of the college year: John Prine with Ramblin’ Jack Elliot, Charlie Musselwhite and the North Mississippi Allstars, Stomp, Keb Mo, and Zakar Huessein. 


ZeroSumCubed deadline for Issue 10 is THE SUNDAY BEFORE Doug’s deadline.  Deadline is December 27, 2015, a Sunday, at 8 AM California time. 



  1. Intimate Dip   Only Need One More

A great two-person variant.  The rules are printed in Issue 1 and Issue 2. 

Takes two. 

Signed up: Doug Kent


  1. Nuclear Yuppy Dip now changed to The Pope Is A Socialist

Game requires seven players.  Rules in issues 1-3.

Signed up: Jim Burgess, John David Galt, Doug Kent, and Jack McHugh.


  1. Where In The World Is Kendo Nagasaki In Doug Kent’s House

A game of open participation.  Join in the fun now that there are some clues and ways to narrow the search. 



A game of open participation. The game is pure whimsy.  Please see how funny you think Andy Lischett is.  I list a category and seven items in the category. Complete as many of the categories as you wish to.  In addition, you can enter your own item fitting within the category and provide a name for that as well.  Each person’s “special entity” will likely be different. No scoring. 


Press is encouraged.   This is more about the press than the game.

Suggestions for future categories are encouraged. 




All Orders Due Sunday 27 December 2015 by 8 AM CA time. 


Aldrich Ames  Intimate Diplomacy  Germany (Jack McHugh) vs.  England (Geoff Kemp)  Fall 1902

Middle Europa (ME), AKA Jack McHugh


Germany Resigned.  Congratulations to Geoff!!!


End-game/lessons learned/what I will do different next game comments please.



Let’s Have Some Pun:

Unlimited entrants.  Fourth round of possibly regular/erratic BPV.  Send your favorite names. 



Natural Landmarks

Doug Kent

Andy Lischett

Jim Burgess

Richard Weiss

Mountain Range


Flatte (real, in IL)


Big Buttes






Water Fall




The Mighty


How Green Is My





Superior and the Edmund Fitzgerald



Lake Shelton



Of Hale




Field And




Free Choice

Sexual Lubricant:  Astroglide

Ding Dong Deli

Mount Rushmore

Mid-clavicular line




Andy:   Getting back to street names, a local apple orchard was recently bulldozed to make way for a new housing development. Nothing has been built yet except the main road, which is Macintosh Drive. I'm hoping that additional roads will be named Spy Street, Granny Smith Road, and Golden Delicious Parkway. 

GM:  For a few years, when in Southern CA, I didn’t figure out why there were so many streets that were “CYN.”  Sin didn’t seem right.  A color didn’t see right.  One day in San Diego, my head got real sore as I started hitting it and saying “DUH, DUH…” I thought I’d do the reverse here.

GM – Doug:  I’m not sure that a sexual lubricant “fits” in the category of “Natural Landmarks;” but hey, I’m just one guy and I probably missed the triple entendre. Which makes me think that the mons pubis is a natural landmark, just as much as the mid-clavicular line, or the sun’s shadow at noon.  And, reading Andy’s entry of Ding Dong Deli next to your Astroglide, well, it all sort of fits in. 

For Next Time: Entertainment Genres.  Give me what you’d name a:



Andy Lischett

Jim Burgess

Doug Kent

Richard Weiss

Rock Band










TV Sit Com





SciFi Movie





A Dip Zine










Reality Show





Free Choice






Entries Due 27 December 2015, 8 AM CA time.


Where In The World Is Kendo Nagasaki in Doug Kent’s House


Round 1



Mark Firth



John Galt

David Beckham

Delhi, India

Doug Kent

Could not find

Kevin Wilson

Did not submit

Andy Lischett

Little Miss Muffet

1237 Kurdsan Way

Jim Burgess

Toshiro Mifune

Mt. Fuji

Andy York

Richard Weiss



Gender is correct.  I died before s/he was “born. “



Round 2



John Galt

Joan of Arc

Memphis, TN

Doug Kent

Teddy Roosevelt

London Bridge

Andy York

George Washington


Clue:  There is something about your name that relates to my fame.  We were born on the same continent.



Round 3



John Galt

Napoleon Bonaparte

Washington, D.C.

Doug Kent

George Washington Carver

Floating on the Great Salt Lake

Andy York


Kansas City, KS

Jim Burgess

George Washington

On Mount Vernon

Mark Firth

David Lloyd George

Tulsa OK

Clue:  I was alive in two centuries, starting the one after you died.  We share a citizenship, although each of us had more than one.



Round 4



John Galt

Margaret Thatcher

Washington Monument

Doug Kent

Washington Irving

Golden Gate Bridge

Andy York

No guess

No guess

Jim Burgess

George H.W. Bush

Mount Rushmore

Mark Firth

Albert Einstein

Ellis Island

Clue:  You are closest but not at all close.  You are the wrong gender.  You were only a citizen of one country.  I died during your life.  We are both dead. We are famous for different reasons. 


Next guesses due before  8 AM CA time, Sunday 27 December 2015.




Jindal, who said his time has not yet come (to be considered a serious presidential candidate) withdrew.  All stock is frozen.  If you had any still, tough apples and too bad. 


Stock of Huckabee and Graham declined 10% as they were not on the main stage for the November Republican debate.


John David Galt - GM: I notice that the first spreadsheet (ES #106 page 28) shows my buys and sells, but the second one (top of page 29) shows me as doing nothing. Its list of holdings appears correct as of the start of round 4.
GM – John:  Thank you for sharing.  Corrected.


The first paste is what each of us did: 

Jack:  Orders to Sell al E. Warren. Lincoln Chafee and Martin O'Malley and Buy all Bernie Sanders I can afford. This turns out to sell all 33 shares of E Warren and then sell all 50 shares of O’Malley.  Can’t sell more than 100 shares in either party on this or any future turn.  Cannot sell shares in persons who were declared contestants and then withdrew (Chafee). 

On the GOP side, he ordered: Sell all B. Jindal, C. Christie, G Bush.  Buy as many M. Rubio as I can afford.  Which translates into Jindal is out of race so can’t sell those, he ditched all of Christie last month, and has exactly 100 Jeb Bush so can sell those,


Hugh  Democrat: Sell 75 Other
Republican: Sell 100 Huckabee and Sell 50 Rubio. Ben Carson convert 50 of 75 from Other to him
Buy 6 Trump.  Buy 25 Other  Can
only sell maximum 100 in either party.


The price of Carson did not change from the price of Other at the end of last round.  Other had 225 shares converted (sold) to Carson, so dropped in share value at the start of the round to $88.75.



The next paste is what all players’ holdings are as of 22 November 2015.


The final paste is what the total sells and buys have been for each candidate to date and what the current stock value is. 




Next month I will sell all of my shares of Other (82) in the Democratic bourse and buy Hillary.  In the Republican bourse I will sell the 37 shares of Carson I own and 63 shares of Trump. I will buy 35 shares of Other and the rest I can buy as Rubio.


Orders for the Presidential Bourses are due 8 AM CA Time, Sunday 22 November 2015



The Cathy and Pete Gaughan Snowball Fighting Game. 


Jim Burgess: [Two Balls]

John David Galt: [Brett Favre]

Mark Firth: [Max Splodgey]

Doug Kent: [Jack Frost]

Jack McHugh: JM

Andy York: [Teddy Wayne]


Rules and empty map are in Issue 7. 


Teddy Wayne/Andy: Starts at Q3.  Has one snowball. Stands and shivers.


Brett Favre/John: Starts at Q5.  Has three snowballs.

2;1:  RR at TW [% prob = .95 (needs to roll ­­< 95), rolled .22] Hit!

2;2:  RR at TW [% prob = .95 (needs to roll ­­< 95), rolled .87] Hit!

2;3:  RR at TW, [% prob = .95 (needs to roll ­­< 95), rolled .91] Hit!

Ends with no snowballs at Q5


Two Balls/Jim:Starts at G3 Has two snowballs. (Or is that two + two?)

1) Throw a RR at Jack McHugh [% prob =.85 . (needs to roll ­­<), rolled 54] Hit!

2) Throw a RR at Mark Firth  [% prob = .35 (needs to roll ­­<), rolled 04] Hit!

As an example of determining probability: (80% base probability, minus 2X5% because beyond normal range by two hexes.  Mark/Max ordered DDm but he didn’t have one so is stationary for +5%, minus 10% because Max is adjacent to a conifer hex = 60% probability)

3) Gather two SB's

Ends with 2 SBs at G3


Jack:  Starts at M9.  Has three snowballs.

2A. Throws RR at Jack Frost  [% prob = .95 (needs to roll ­­<), rolled 87] Hit!

2b.  Throws RR at Jack Frost  [% prob = .95 (needs to roll ­­<), rolled 56] Hit!

2c.  Throws RR at Jack Frost  [% prob = .95 (needs to roll ­­<), rolled 97] Missed!!!!

Ends with no SBs at M9


Max Splodgey/Mark:  Starts at B12.  Has no snowballs

2a.  B12 – C11 – E11; collect 1 ss

2b.  DDm on TB; dodge  [Need an entire segment to collect enough snow for a DDm, and only has one Snowball, so orders not followed. 

2c.  Storm at M11 (Throws one Snowball at the conifer at M11, with 90% probability to hit then 70% to damage any on the conifer hex or one away.  No one is in that location, so no damage to anyone.

Ends with no SBs at E11


Jack Frost/Doug:  Starts at Q9.  Has one snowball. 

2.1 Collects two snowballs

2.2: Throws a Rattlesnake at JM  [% prob = .95 (needs to roll ­­<), rolled 97 ] Missed!!

2.3:  Throws a Rattlesnake at JM, ends with one snowball  [% prob = .95 (needs to roll ­­<), rolled 97 ] Missed!!

Ends with one SB at Q9


Yard Banter

GM: No matter the probability per calculations, there is never worse than 5% probability and never more than 95%.  See Jack throwing at Jack Frost as the example.  For this month, I bought two ten sided dice, one with tens and one with ones.  I rolled 16 times last night.  I used the probabilities in order I rolled them.  I had more fun than using excel for random probability.  And yes, there really were consecutive 97% rolled.


Two Balls: Can anyone read the rules around here?  I forgot I started with Two Balls, duh, how did I not figure that out??? {What do you see when you turn out the light?  “You can’t tell me, but you know its yours” is the standard answer.  In your case, “No balls.”


TWO BALLS to JACK McHUGH: Hey, Flap, ya gotta have a handle!!!  {Jacks so poor, even his coffee cup doesn’t have a handle.}


TWO BALLS to HIGHERQUALITY: Well, did we finally get the rules right this turn?  What a bunch of lame fighters we are!!!  {Some of y’all must be lame.  Almost no one’s moved.  And maybe blind, didn’t read the rules.  And definitely dumb – only you have said anything.}


Splodgey – Jon Snow: Why am I hiding here like Robert Vaughn in The Magnificent Seven? I’m the only one that a shot has missed. I’m invisible. I’m invincible! {Maybe you shouldn’t have moved in the first segment.  Two Balls saw you. }


Big kid looking over fence:  Wusses.  Run around.  Hit ‘em.  Hot chocolate is for Mama Boys and babies. (in taunting voice)



Snowman at Q3 is headless. 



VP to start

VP gained

VP end

HP to start

HP received

HP end












































Orders for Snowball Fighting are due 8 AM CA Time, Sunday 27 December 2015



Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh –

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #73




Just happy to still have a job.  I am in sports depression because every one of my teams sucks like a Hoover.  So here are some Thanksgiving pictures.  Go suck a deviled egg.







Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: Harold Zarr, need six more.

Modern Diplomacy (Black Press): Rules in this issue.  Ten-player variant.  No planes will be used, just armies and fleets.  Signed up: Jack McHugh, Jim Burgess, John David Galt, Geoff Kemp, Harold Zarr.  Needs five more.

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki: Rules in issue #102.  Send in your guesses.  Prize for the winner?  Probably!  (Don’t forget to play in Richard Weiss’ subzine too!)

Hypothetical Questions: Just send in answers.  Anybody can play at any time, just takes participation.

By Popular Demand: Join at any time.  Send in your answers!  A prize for the winner!

Multiple Openings in Richard Weiss’ subzine – check them out NOW!!

Coming Soon – Colonia VII?  Deviant Diplomacy?  Kremlin?  Make a suggestion or express interest!

Eternal Sunshine Game Section


Diplomacy, “Milk and Trash”, 2015A, F 04


Austria (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” F Aegean Sea Supports A Greece – Bulgaria,

 A Bohemia – Silesia, A Budapest Supports A Rumania, A Galicia Supports A Rumania, A Rumania Hold.

England (Mark Firth – mark.r.firth “of” F Brest Supports F English Channel –

 Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Cut*), A Edinburgh - Liverpool (*Fails*),

 F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*), A Moscow – Sevastopol, F North Sea Hold.

France (Paul Milewskipaul.milewski “of” F Liverpool Hold, A Paris - Brest (*Disbanded*),

 A Portugal - Spain (*Fails*), F Spain(nc) - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Disbanded*).

Germany (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” F Belgium - English Channel (*Fails*),

 A Burgundy Supports A Picardy – Paris, A Gascony Supports A Picardy – Paris,

 F Gulf of Bothnia Supports F Livonia - St Petersburg(sc), F Livonia - St Petersburg(sc),

 A Munich Supports A Bohemia – Silesia, A Picardy - Paris.

Italy (John Biehljerbil “of” F Eastern Mediterranean Hold, A Greece – Bulgaria,

 F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc), A Marseilles Supports F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc), A Venice - Apulia.

Russia (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” F Sevastopol Hold (*Dislodged*, can retreat

 to Black Sea or OTB), F St Petersburg(sc) Hold (*Dislodged*, retreat to Finland or OTB), A Ukraine – Moscow,
 A Warsaw Supports A Ukraine - Moscow.

Turkey (John David Galt – jdg “of” A Armenia Supports

 A Moscow – Sevastopol, A Constantinople Supports F Smyrna, F Smyrna Supports A Constantinople.


Deadline for W 04/S 05 is December 29th at 7am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna=5, Even

England:          Brest, Denmark, Edinburgh, London, Norway, Sevastopol=6, Build 1

France:            Liverpool, Portugal=2, Even

Germany:         Belgium, Berlin, Holland, Kiel, Munich, Paris, St Petersburg, Sweden=8, Build 1

Italy:                Bulgaria, Greece, Marseilles, Naples, Rome, Spain, Tunis, Venice=8, Build 3

Russia:             Moscow, Warsaw=2, Even or Remove 1 or Remove 2

Turkey:            Ankara, Constantinople, Smyrna=3, Even





Rome (Oct 31, 1904):  King Giovanni the short was visibly shorter (if that was possible). Was this an illusion? No, sadly, it was not. "Franz Joseph, what was he thinking!?" Giovanni muttered for the umpteenth time. "He ought to abdicate in favour of his nephew, he has lost his mind, he really has. I must have my High Command write a formal request to the Austrian High Command. Austria cannot allow Franz Joseph to make another demented decision like his failure to capture Constantinople."


Rome (Oct 31, 1904):  King Giovanni reconsidered his opinions of the Austrian Emperor and the German Kaiser, " What choice do I have, it's one or the other or both. This is beginning to hurt my head. It was two choices but now it seems to be three. Mama Mia - next it will be four."


Rome (Dec 31, 1904): The Italian government deplores the 'adventurism' of the Turkish army in invading the Caucasus mountains and subjecting Christians there to atrocities.


(KAISER BOOB to KING GIOVANNI THE SHORT): I think you have about a 50-50 shot of getting Spain anyway, we shall see how that sorts out.  Let's see how this sorts out...


(JIM-BOB to COOKIE MONSTER): Thank you, thank you, sir, we welcome you into our midst.  Hungry, hungry.... are we all.


(BOOB to HEATHER): We hope you and Doug are doing better, it's been a tough time for you both and we feel for you.


GM – Boob: A little at a time, still a lot of tears….


(KAISER BOOB to THE GAME): When in doubt, blame it on the Chemo Brain....


(GERMAN FLEETS to the WORLD): Why is everyone so hung up on us, we're meek and mild....


Black Press Gunboat, “Noah’s Titanic”, 2015Arb32, W 03/S 04


Austria: Build A Vienna.. A Budapest Supports A Rumania – Serbia, F Bulgaria(sc) – Greece,

 A Galicia – Rumania, A Rumania – Serbia, A Vienna - Trieste (*Bounce*).

England: Retreat F Norway - Norwegian Sea.. F English Channel – London,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - English Channel, F Norwegian Sea – Edinburgh, F St Petersburg(nc) - Norway (*Fails*).

France: Retreat F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Portugal..Build A Marseilles.. A Brest Hold, A Burgundy Hold,

 A Gascony Supports A Brest, A Marseilles Supports A Burgundy, F Portugal - Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Germany: Build F Kiel.. A Belgium – Ruhr, A Berlin Supports A Munich, F Denmark - North Sea, F Kiel – Holland,

 A Munich Supports A Berlin, F Norway Supports F Denmark - North Sea (*Cut*),

 F Skagerrak Supports F Denmark - North Sea.

Italy: Build A Naples.. F Adriatic Sea Supports A Trieste, F Aegean Sea Convoys A Naples – Constantinople,

 F Ionian Sea Convoys A Naples – Constantinople, A Naples – Constantinople,

 A Smyrna Supports A Naples – Constantinople, A Trieste Supports A Serbia (*Cut*).

Russia: Remove A Prussia, A Silesia.. A Bohemia – Galicia,

 A Serbia Supports F Ionian Sea - Greece (*Dislodged*, retreat to Bulgaria or OTB).

Turkey: A Albania - Trieste (*Bounce*), F Constantinople - Smyrna (*Dislodged*, retreat to Ankara or

 Black Sea or Bulgaria(ec) or Bulgaria(sc) or OTB), A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Fails*), A Sevastopol - Armenia.


Deadline for F 04 will be December 29th at 7am My Time




Ger to Aus: Interesting.  Your ally, Italy, supports the Turkish Army in Serbia, thereby preventing you from eliminating an enemy unit.  With friends like that…


Ger to Ita: Congratulations on your successful convoy of an army from Venice to Smyrna.  This is             the first time I have ever seen a three-fleet convoy completed successfully.  Enjoyable.


Ger to Rus: I wonder who will take Warsaw?  Turkey or Austria?  Does it even matter?


Dateline Europe: Word has reached your intrepid correspondent that secret talks have been held between Scottish rebels and the Germany Kaiser.  Centuries of harsh English rule have succeeded in the Scott’s sending a diplomatic mission to Germany requesting aid and support to overthrow their English rulers.  The Scott’s are reported to have pledged their loyalty in exchange for Germany sending a fleet to Edinburgh to secure their freedom.  In response to their desperate pleas for aid, the German Kaiser has proclaimed that the German Grand Fleet shall be deployed to the North Sea in a preparatory move to defend Germany from English imperialism and aggression.


Ger to Fra: You are my most loyal ally and friend.  I shall not fail to reward you with my support and friendship as we eliminate the threats to peace in Europe.  Together, we shall rid the seas of the English menace and go on to greater victories on the continent of Europe!  With me advancing in the north, and you advancing in the south, victory shall be assured!


Russia to Italy: I will do what I am able to assist you (till my death do us part).


Sultan's Doorman to Papal Envoy: My pardon your Excellency, the Sultan is not here, he is not at 'home' (like he should be). He is freezing his nuts off in Siberia.


Turkey to Germany: Your wonderful German ship you gave us has broken down in our harbour here. It needs some spare parts. These Russian ones we plundered won't fit.


Russia to Germany: Might as well grab War. Your Zombie flunkies have given it to you on a silver platter (and I had three armies on you too, it would have been a 50/50 shot on Ber or Mun, if the imbeciles had left me alone). Now I ask, who has a silver stake to drive into your Vampire heart?


Switzerland Times: A correction to our last press release. Our reporters had thought there was only three imbeciles here (Eng, Fra & Tur) but there is now a confirmed fourth - Aus.


Russia to All (inc the GM): Four Imbecilic Players (or is it five if you include me) for this Gunboat game. Is this a tie or a record? Just curious.


GM – Russia: Seven imbecilic players.  Anyone who signs up to play a game in one of my zines is an imbecile.


Pope – Czar: Keep scrapping. Mutual support seems prudent.


Pope Pluvius – Archduke: There are Vatican observers overseeing the Russian production lines in Serbia. Should their output cease to provide materiel for the North, Austrian workers would be invited into the factories once again.


Pope Pluvius – Archduke: Still going well. Your loan of Trieste has been much appreciated. I’m sure some of your troops would like to visit their families on the coast however.  Rather than have our units embroiled in a tussle over seats on the trains, I would be pleased to come to a simple arrangement. A shift to Greece perhaps? Meanwhile, good luck in your ventures in Russia. I’ll help if I can.


Papal Envoy – Sultan:  Hmm, nobody here. Let’s have a look up the road and see if you’re at a coffee morning.


Great Designs:  Spring 1904 – and the new season brings new styles! Be sure that yellow is the new white and that classical black cuts will be storming the chic boutiques of London and Paris. It’ll be a long, hot summer!


By Popular Demand


The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer.  Your score for this answer will be doubled.  In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.  Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds, with the 10th round being worth double points.  A prize will be awarded to the winner.  Research is permitted, but cooperation or collusion between players is not!


Round 5 Categories


1.    Something you see in the sky.

2.    A brand of toothpaste.

3.    A comedian.

4.    A host (past or current) of a TV game show.

5.    An Australian state or territory.


Congrats to Kevin Wilson, scoring the big 44 (out of a maximum 48).  Andy Lischett stumbled in with a 10.  Dane’s lead is down to five points!


Comments By Category


Sky – Rick Desper “Like a big pizza pie.”  Jim Burgess “I was going to choose this as JOKER, but nooo....”  Richard Weiss “My next older brother would say that the sun, moon, stars etc. are not in the sky, they are beyond the sky.  That would leave wind, clouds, and birds.  I can only imagine that "clouds" would be the only one anyone else would pick.  And then, I'm tempted to include airplanes, telephone wires, balloons, blimps, UFOs, and other items that I probably shouldn't submit and definitely not with a Joker designation.”  Mark Firth “From the news on the tv right now, one less Russian warplane…”


Toothpaste – Brendan Whyte “More dentists recommend Colgate (but Fluoristan has got to be the best named brand: who wouldn’t want to clean their teeth with a radicalised central-Asian republic?).”  Andy LischettIapana is still sold in Turkey.”  Jim Burgess “Colgate, I think it has to be that or Sensodyne, with Crest crashing somewhat in recent years.  But I use Sensodyne and it seems most people I know do.”  Richard Weiss “Colgate and Crest.  Uncle Tom's?  OK, for Americans there don't seem to be that many choices.  I am an avid Colgate user and crest avoider, but think crest is more popular so will go with that and this answer as my Joker.”


Comedian – Dane Maslen “I've no idea who might be a popular current comedian in the US, so I've crossed my fingers and hoped that I won't be the only person to think back a few decades. “  Jim Burgess “This was a Louis CK present, Robin Williams just deceased or the classic only choice.  I went the last way.”  Richard Weiss “Lenny Bruce.  Well, maybe not.  Donald Trump.  Well, has to be intentional, right?  Jimmy Fallon, sort of.  I'm sad now.  I haven't seen a live comedy show in years.”


Game Show – Andy Lischett “Coincidentally, I Googled Bill Cullen to check the spelling and learned he once wrote jokes for Jack Benny.”  Dane Maslen “As for the TV game-show host, I'm fairly confident of scoring 1 point.”  Jim Burgess “There are again three choices in SHOWS, the eternal Jeopardy, Family Feud with Richard Dawson, and Wheel of Fortune with Pat Sajak.  Jeopardy is the answer, but the only question is the present or the classic Art Fleming I grew up with.... Trebek is it.”  Mark Firth “Didn’t know any US ones – that’s a genre that doesn’t import, I guess – so I looked up one from the past: BOB BARKER (I know ‘The Price is Right’ started over there).”


Australia – None.


General Comments – Dane Maslen “A surprisingly successful last round, though some people might feel that arranging for the main opposition to have a back problem was going a bit far.  I hope Melinda is soon back on form as far as her back is concerned, but not as far as the game is concerned.”


Round 6 Categories – Don’t Forget to Choose a Joker Category (Double Points)


1.    Someone who has portrayed Dr. Who.

2.    Someone who has portrayed Sherlock Holmes.

3.    Someone who has portrayed Hamlet.

4.    Someone who has portrayed a comic book superhero.

5.    A John Wayne film.


Deadline for Round 6 is December 29th at 7am My Time


General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:  December 29th, 2015 at 7:00am my time. Hope to See You Then!