Eternal Sunshine #110

March 2016

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX  75149

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Welcome to the latest issue of Eternal Sunshine, which is the only zine published by an Executive Producer of “Black Eyed Children: Let Me In.”  Okay, it isn’t “The Usual suspects” but the guy made the movie for like $700.  Give him some credit.  There are some laughs in there.


I’m in the middle of some personal crap which has me depressed, all going back to restitution in my guilty plea.  So this will be a short introduction this month.  My game openings are getting VERY stale.  If they don’t see some action soon, the zine may eventually head to a fold when it runs out of games.  Richard Weiss missed this issue, but we get TWO issues of The Abyssinian Prince to make up for it.


I’m trying to make more notes on my book on my first marriage, which I hope to focus on writing soon.  In the meantime I’ve gotten some pages of a different project on paper; whether that turns out to be useful, awful, or simply an exercise remains to be seen.  I guess when I finish the unnamed project I’ll have Heather and maybe one or two other people read it to see if it holds anybody’s interest.


Speaking of game openings (I was, a few paragraphs back), we did get a drop of interest about Roger Cox’s offerings.  Take a peek in the game opening section.  In the meantime, Andy Lischett has a RARE game opening in his long-running postal zine Cheesecake.  In fact he has two games open right now.  Sign up, quick!  You can contact Andy at 1996 Victoria Road, Mundelein, IL  60060 or he might even let you sign up via email at andy “of”  I’ve signed up for one of them, so here’s another chance to blast me into oblivion.


Beauregard continues to settle in and appears very happy with his retirement: lots of naps, cookies, and trips to Doggy Day Camp.  He also enjoys watching the cats chase each other around the house.  That’s it for now, see you in April!



Hypothetical of the Month


Last month we gave you the following questions:


#1 – (from Andy Lischett) - On your 65th birthday you enroll in Medicare. A few months later you need new glasses and go to an ophthalmologist who was highly recommended by your brother, who claims that the doctor saved his life by diagnosing an impending stroke. When your eye exam is over you ask for your bill and they tell you it is covered by Medicare. When you get home you leaf through "Medicare & You" from the U.S. Gummint and it says that eye exams are not covered and your supplemental insurance also does not pay for eye exams. You suspect that the ophthalmologist who saved your brother's life may have billed Medicare for something beyond a routine eye exam. Do you turn him in?


Rick Desper - The notion that I would turn in an ophthalmologist - I have to admit that made me chuckle.  Not just an ophthalmologist, but a guy who prevented my brother from having a stroke? This is an easy one.  No, I wouldn't do that.


Andy Lischett - I may be in this position. In September I went to the doctor, he gave me an eye exam, the receptionist said that it was covered by Medicare but later I found out it isn't. In December I called the ophthalmologist's office and played dumb, saying I never got a bill, and in January I got a bill for $40 saying that Medicare and my supplemental insurance owe nothing. Since I originally went to the doctor expecting to pay about $75 to $100, do I waste more of my life trying to figure this out? I will, and if I end up thinking the the doctor is scamming Medicare I will turn him in.


Andy York - I don't know that he did anything wrong. There could be a coding error, misunderstanding about the exact insurance coverage (don't know much about Medicare, but understand there are numerous options and

parts to it) or something else that inadvertently happened. So, I'd contact the office, explain how I read the rules and state that I want to pay my fair share if there was a mix-up of some type.


John David Galt - I would call up and ask the eye doctor before doing anything.  If he did diagnose an impending stroke, a good case can be made that he in fact did more than a routine eye exam.


Tom Howell - An Opthamologist diagnosing heart disease?  Sounds like a quack. Sure, turn him in.


Steve Cooley - Nope. I would tell the doctor's office what I had discovered about coverage and demand a bill. I would casually drop this line: "I know Dr Savedmybrother is not dishonest, but I hear stories of fraud wherein people are not billed and then Medicare is billed for something else. Thankfully, I know Dr. Savedmybrother is not like that. When can I expect the bill?"


#2 – It is three days before Christmas and you are shopping in Macy's in downtown New York. You are crowded on a "Down" escalator with a hundred other people when the family-of-four ahead of you steps off the last moving stair and immediately stops to admire the holiday decorations. Since in the time it will take for you to yell at them and for them to turn around and assess the situation you will have been trampled to death, do you (a) clear a path by tossing one of the kids into a Christmas tree, or (b) smack the father in the head with the tennis racket you've just bought for your sister, or (c) other?


Rick Desper - Well, since you said "trampled to death" I think serious action is called for here.  I'm not going to go for the dad with the tennis racket - that might be emotionally gratifying, but is less likely to solve the real problem: clearing a path.  Nope, they're getting out of the way.  I start with a gentle shove, with a loud "excuse me!  Traffic coming through!"  And if the kid has to fly into the Christmas tree, so be it. 


Andy Lischett - This happened to me long ago. I stumbled into the people in front of me, accidentally knocking the man out of the way. Nobody was hurt, but they got showered with a lot of "out-of-towner" insults. This was early in the day and as the store got busier Macy's posted employees at the exits of escalators urging customers to "Keep moving" and "Don't stop" and pulling those who did stop out of the way.


Andy York - If I'm not able to do one of those common (at least in the movies) flips over their heads without touching anything, I'd say "Coming Through" or "Pardon Me" as the vanguard of a 100 folks debarking from

the escalator.  [[I’d like to see you do one of those Crouch Tiger Hidden Dragon moves too.]]


John David Galt - (c) I bellow "EXCUSE ME!" at the top of my lungs and proceed forward, using elbows and the like.  Reasoning: This may prevent anyone from getting trampled at all, and if it's unavoidable that someone be

trampled, let it be the idiots who thought they could stop there.


Tom Howell - c other.  grab one of 'em by the shoulders and steer 'em out of the path with me.


Steve Cooley - (C) I'm trained for emergencies. I see them coming. Worst-case scenario: I stumble into the father and apologize for having no other option.


For Next Month (For the time being, I am often selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish..but “this could never happen” is a cop out answer: #1 – You are planning to quit your job in five months when your company promotes you to a high paying management position.  You still intend to quit.  Do you tell your boss now, or accept the promotion and take the extra pay until you quit?  #2 – You are playing Texas Hold’ em for money with five other people, only one of whom you casually know.  You and another player (not the one you know personally) are raising each other for the biggest pot of the night when you accidentally see his cards.  Do you tell him?



The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews


For the time being I am reserving this section for exceptional films, or films we see in theaters.  I will also mention films that I backed on Kickstarter or other places, once I get to see them.  So some months there will be no Dining Dead section.


I actually have a Kickstarter film I could review for this issue, but I am waiting for a response form the Director about the ending before I write one.  Next issue most likely.  In case you are interested, the film is Lake Eerie.


The Best Albums in History - By Decade


The 1960’s or 1970’s – Any Leftovers


Rick Desper – For the 1960’s, Days of Future Passed - the Moody Blues.  Replace Eagles Greatest Hits with Hotel California.  For the 70’s also add Rumours: Fleetwood Mac, Free to Be You and Me; Marlo Thomas & Friends, The Kick Inside: Kate Bush, The B-52's, and Boston .


The 1980’s – First Set of Five


Rick Desper - Brothers in Arms - Dire Straits

Ghost in the Machine - Police

In My Tribe - 10,000 Maniacs

Security - Peter Gabriel

Stop Making Sense - Talking Heads


Douglas Kent - John Lennon and Yoko Ono - Double Fantasy

The Pretenders - Pretenders

The Police - Synchronicity

Prince - Purple Rain

Asia – Asia


I could probably list 50 albums from this decade.  Maybe I will list “honorable mentions” next month.


Andy Lischett - My '80s choices contain a lot of girl groups and women singers. I've always loved girl groups, from the Chiffons to Martha and the Vandellas and a ton more, but the 1960s had too much great competition for any of them to make my list and they sort of went on hiatus in the 1970s. But then came the 1980s and...     


1. Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles [[Actually from the album Different Light]]


2. Cosmic Thing by the B-52s. I can't dance but Love Shack makes me want to. "Bang, Bang, Bang on the door, Baby!"


3. She's So Unusual - Cyndi Lauper. With Girls Just Want to Have Fun and Time After Time.


4. Bananarama - by Bananarama. I love the name Bananarama and the song Cruel Summer.


5. I Know What Boys Like - The Waitresses. This makes no sense. I am a 66-year-old man who has always been intimidated by sexy women, yet I love this song of a smug, hot, twenty-something babe sneering at guys like me… "……. Sucker."  [[Actually from the album Wasn’t Tomorrow Wonderful?]]


Roger Cox - Pink Floyd - The Delicate Sound of Thunder

Pete Townsend - All the Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes

Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms

The Rolling Stones - Tattoo You

Roger Waters - Radio KAOS


Robert Lesco - I will leave it at five this time out and follow up after I have had a chance to think some more.  This is as tough as the 70s where it was more about what to leave out than what to include.  If only there was room for Brian Eno's ambient music (For Airports or For Films) or anything by Focus, is what I am thinking now.


Here are numbers one through five, no special order:


Donald Fagan: The Nightfly

This concept album manages to look back and forward at the same time.


King Crimson:  Discipline

Adding Adrian Belew to the mix was an inspired idea on Robert Fripp's part.


Joe Jackson:  Night and Day

I regretted leaving out his debut album, Look Sharp!, from the 1970s list but when I think about it, it is almost as if his first LPs were leading up to this one.


Frank Zappa:  Guitar/Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar/Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar Some More/Return of the Son of Shut Up 'n Play Yer Guitar (choose one - mind, the last three quickly became a boxed set)

Through much of his career, Frank Zappa was dogged by the fallacy that his prowess was an illusion of the recording studio.  I heard it from people who really ought to have known better.  These mostly live offerings confirm that Jimi Hendrix sits at Frank Zappa's feet in the Great Beyond.


Simple Minds:  New Gold Dream (81-82-83-84)


If this carries on to the 90s and beyond you will observe a sharp drop in my participation.


Frank Affinito - 1. "Diary Of A Madman" (Ozzy Osbourne)

2. "Blizzard Of Ozz" (Ozzy Osbourne)

3. "Fair Warning" (Van Halen)

4. "Appetite For Destruction" (Guns 'n Roses)

5. "Rising Force" (Yngwie J. Malmsteen)


Martin Burgdorf - 1980 Magazine: The Correct Use of Soap


Howard Devoto had left Buzzcocks even before "Another Music in a Different Kitchen" (see Harris' list) was recorded, but he soon founded a new band. Their first three albums were absolutely fantastic, a great mixture of punk and art rock. Devoto had also a talent to write interesting lyrics.

Everything'd be just fine

If I had the right pastime

I'd've been Raskolnikov

But Mother nature ripped me off


1981 Devo: New Traditionalists


Devo were one of the very few punk bands who were funny. I saw them live only once, in Paris, and it was a really great concert. Some call them one-hit-wonder (for "Whip it"), but actually they had many more great songs.


1982 Laughing Clowns: Mr Uddich-Schmuddich Goes to Town


Edmund Küpper's new band after leaving the Saints was perhaps his musically most innovative. At the beginning of the eighties, the musicians who had started their careers as part of the punk movement had to find a new sound, because after a while people had enough of the famous three chords. Some developed goth, got depressed (Joy Division etc.), but most turned towards mainstream rock (London Calling). Laughing Clowns were, somewhat unusual for post-punk, strongly influenced by Jazz. 


1983 The The: Soul Mining


The The = Matt Johnson, a former member of the Gadgets. This is another example of new wave music with good lyrics.

Well you didn't wake up this morning 'cause you didn't go to bed

You were watching the whites of your eyes turn red

The calendar on your wall is ticking the days off

You've been reading some old letters

You smile and think how much you've changed

All the money in the world couldn't buy back those days



1985 Tuxedomoon: Holy Wars


This is Tuxedomoon's commercially most successful record. The second song, St John, is a musical version of the poem "Vivo sin vivir en mi" by San Juan de la Cruz, a Spanish mystic from the 16th century. His words were the most beautiful poetry ever written in the Spanish language.


Joshua Danker-Dake - This still isn’t a decade I listen to a ton, but the progenitors of what I’m into are here, so I feel a little more comfortable.


Manowar, “Kings of Metal” – So cheesy, so pretentious. But undeniably influential.


Dio, “Holy Diver” – Makes the list just because of “Rainbow in the Dark” and the title track.


Iron Maiden, “Powerslave” – Their best album overall? I don’t know, maybe.


Queensryche, “Operation: Mindcrime” – Some solid prog metal here.


Queen, “Flash Gordon” – It’s really more of a concept album than a soundtrack. Don’t you flag me on Flash here, Doug. He’ll save every one of us.


Geoff Kemp - Hmm for me not as easy as the 60s and 70s, music seemed to be becoming more politicalized and not from the heart, although my first two choices were quite political in their own way.


1.       Midnight Oil – Diesel and Dust. An Australian band, Midnight Oil had many political convictions but their lyrics did not get in the way of their strong music!


2.       Paul Simon – Graceland. Again, politically anti apartheid but at the same time bringing in so many unusual rhythms and styles it was a strong ground breaking album.


3.       Peter Gabriel – So.  One of my favourite artists from his days in Genesis, this for me was a superb solo album.


4.       Specials – Specials. Another band with a brilliant mix of punk and reggae styles, as a DJ it was noticeable that wherever I was working, the specials tracks were always being asked for.


5.       Squeeze – East Side Story. I don’t know why I like this. I just do, another album that continued building on their strong singles pedigree, despite the change in personnel.


Steve Cooley - 10. Scarecrow, John Cougar Mellencamp

9. Nothing Like the Sun, Sting

8. Rattle and Hum, U2

7. Will the Wolf Survive?, Los Lobos

6. Robbie Robertson, Robbie Robertson


Sorry, but I'm a "child" of the 80's. I bought so many LPs--it was a disease. I'm confident I bought more than 400 albums made during this decade. It was impossible for me to pare it down to 10, no matter how I tried. And, truthfully, I could make it 40 with no problem at all.


Robert Rodday, Jr. - Here are five of my favorite 80s albums, thanks!


U2 the Joshua tree

Sting - nothing like the sun

Neil young - freedom

The police - synchronicity

Paul Simon - Graceland


People With Incomplete Lists: Per Westling (need 5 from the 80’s), Paul Kent (need 5 from the 80’s), Jack McHugh (need 5 from the 80’s), Jim Burgess (need 5 from the 80’s), Howard Bishop (need 5 from 60’s, 10 from the 70’s and 5 from the 80’s), Larry Peery (need 5 from the 80’s), Carol Kay (need 5 from the 80’s), Alan Novich (need 5 from the 80’s), Richard Martin (need 1 from the 60’s, 5 from the 70’s and 5 from the 80’s), Toby Harris (needs 10 from the 60’s, 5 from the 70’s and 5 from the 80’s), Andrew Goff (need 5 from the 80’s), Rick Desper (need 8 from the 60’s).


Deadline for the Second set of 5 Albums from the 1980’s is March 29th at 7:00am my time!  Feel free to include comments in your own choices, or on anyone else’s!  Or just get your ass in gear and catch up if you are behind.

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?


Round 1


John David Galt:

Curt Schilling in Tokyo, Japan


Kevin Wilson:

Johann Sebastian Bach in Pretoria, South Africa


Andy York:

Doug Kent in Mesquite, Texas


Richard Weiss:

Oliver Cromwell in Brasilia, Brazil


Hank Alme:

George Clinton in Des Moines, Iowa


Rick Desper:

Prince in Minneapolis, Minnesota


Marc Ellinger:

Ronald Reagan in Berlin, Germany


Jim Burgess:

Pablo Picasso in Government Center, Boston, Massachusetts


Tom Howell:

Susan Glaspell in Schwyz, Switzerland 


Brendan Whyte:

Bill Cosby in Alcatraz, San Francisco Harbor, California


Jack McHugh:

Leonardo Di Vinici in Tokyo, Japan


Andy Lischett:

Albert Einstein in Madrid, Spain


Mark Firth:

Emil Zatopek in Christchurch, New Zealand


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me: I died before you were born.  Wrong nationality…but correct chromosome.


Round 2


Jack McHugh:

Jesus Christ in San Paulo, Brazil


Andy York:

Doug Kent in Tangier, Morocco


Richard Weiss:

Niccolo di Bernardo dei Machiavelli in Lima, Peru


John David Galt:

Snoop Dogg in Marseille, France


Tom Howell:

Frances Sargent Osgood (born 18 Jun 1811, died 12 May 1850) in Zagreb, Croatia.


Rick Desper:

Charles Darwin on Darwin Island, Galapagos


Hank Alme:

Tony Romo in Vientiane, Laos


Marc Ellinger:

Charlotte of Prussia (Alexandra Feodorovna) in Milan, Italy


Andy Lischett:

Anne Hathaway in Rome, Italy


Brendan Whyte:

Pope Innocent IV in Rome, Italy


Jim Burgess:

Marco Polo in Kabul, Afghanistan


Mark Firth:

John Bunyan in Hanoi, Vietnam


Kevin Wilson:

Anne Boleyn in Milan, Italy


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

You were born during my lifetime, but I died before you reached the pinnacle of your fame.


Round 3


John David Galt:

Sir Francis Drake in Drake's Bay, California


Tom Howell:

Johannes Ockeghem in Manaus, Brazil


Andy York:

Gaius Caesar in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil


Andy Lischett:

Josephine Bonaparte in Sofia, Bulgaria


Richard Weiss:

Betsy Ross in Damascus, Syria


Rick Desper:

Simon Bolivar in Bogota, Colombia


Jim Burgess:

Christopher Columbus in Corunna, Spain


Jack McHugh:

Christopher Columbus in La Paz, Bolivia


Brendan Whyte:

Andrew Snowden on Mt Snowdon, Wales


Kevin Wilson:

Jane Austen in Florence, Italy


Mark Firth:

Douglas Fairbanks Jr. in Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei


Hank Alme:

Pope Pius III in Quito, Ecuador


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

You were born about 300 years before I died.  We were born on different continents, but as subjects of the same nation’s rule.


Round 4


John David Galt:

Dolly Madison in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico


Brendan Whyte:

Queen Henrietta-Maria at Lake Titicaca, Peru


Andy York:

Ben Franklin in Naples, Italy


Andy Lischett:

Niccolo Paganini in Las Vegas, Nevada


Richard Weiss:

Thomas Jefferson in Mexico City, Mexico


Tom Howell:

Joseph Smith, Sr. in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada


Rick Desper:

Thomas Jefferson in Honolulu, Hawaii


Mark Firth:

General Franco, in Lima, Peru


Jack McHugh:

Mahatma Gandhi in Mexico City, Mexico


Jim Burgess:

Johann Sebastian Bach in Lima, Peru




Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

We held the same office, but not at the same time.


Round 5


Brendan Whyte:

James Madison, enjoying the nightlife  in Tijuana, Mexico


John David Galt:

John Quincy Adams in Salt Lake City, Utah


Tom Howell:

William Henry Harrison in Pape’ete, Tahiti


Andy York:

John Quincy Adams in Cancun, Mexico


Andy Lischett:

William Henry Harrison in Pape'ete, Tahiti


Hank Alme:

Narendra Modi in Oaxaca, Mexico


Richard Weiss:

James Madison in Honolulu, Hawaii


Jack McHugh:

Woodrow Wilson in Acapulco, Mexico


Mark Firth:

John Adams in Pago Pago, American Samoa


Jim Burgess:

Theodore Roosevelt in Panama City, Panama


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

We also held the same office, but not at the same time.


Round 6


John David Galt:

James Madison in Managua, Nicaragua


Andy Lischett:

Andrew Jackson in Hilo, Hawaii


Andy York:

Aaron Burr in Guadalajara, Mexico


Tom Howell:

William Henry Harrison in Apia, Western Samoa


Rick Desper:

John Adams in Hilo, Hawaii


Hank Alme:

Dwight Eisenhower in Hilo, Hawaii


Jack McHugh:

Franklin Delano Roosevelt in Brownsville, TX


Richard Weiss:

James Madison in Auckland New Zealand


Jim Burgess:

William Henry Harrison in Escuintla, Guatemala


Mark Firth:

James Monroe in Majuro


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

You are not the first person to identify me correctly, nor the only one this round, but you are closer to my location than anyone before.


Round 7


Andy York:

William Henry Harrison in Veracruz, Mexico


Jim Burgess:

William Henry Harrison in Taga, Western Samoa


Tom Howell:

William Henry Harrison in Suva, Fiji


Brendan Whyte:

James Madison in Clipperton Island


Andy Lischett:

William Henry Harrison in Bora Bora


Jack McHugh:

James Madison in Sydney, Australia


John David Galt:

Teddy Roosevelt on Easter Island


Mark Firth:

James Madison in Rotorua, New Zealand


Rick Desper:

James Madison on Wake Island


Hank Alme:

William Henry Harrison in Mexico City, Mexico


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

You know who I am, and you are not the only one.  You haven’t found me yet, and the second-closest guess was less than 20 miles further away from me than yours.


Round 8


Brendan Whyte:

James Madison interned in both sense on Nauru  


Andy York:

William Henry Harrison in Puebla, Mexico


John David Galt:

William Henry Harrison in Tikal, Belize


Andy Lischett:

William Henry Harrison in Kiribati


Jim Burgess:

William Henry Harrison in Mata-Utu, Wallis and Futuna


Tom Howell:

William Henry Harrison in Nuku'alofa, Tonga


Jack McHugh:

James Madison in Pago Pago, American Samoa


Rick Desper:

William Henry Harrison in Nuku'alofa, Tonga


Mark Firth:

James Madison in Tarawa


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

You know who I am – as do many others - and you are closer than last month’s closest guesser.  Right now I am at the airport.


Deadline for Round 9 is March 29th at 7am My Time



The Eternal Sunshine

Dead Pool



Here is what I THINK is the latest update on the Dead Pool. 



Harper Lee and Abe Vigoda have been added to the list.  Notice any other names I’ve missed?



By Larry Peery


It isn’t often that two stories in the same newspaper (The New York Times) on the same page (A1), on the same day (20 January 2016) catch your eye but that’s what happened to me not long ago. And yes, although it’s a bit of a leap. there’s still a dip&DIP link to be explored. Read on to find out what it is.

What do Kenya & Denmark have to do with each other? At first glance, not much, but think about it; and think about how both might relate to diplomacy and Diplomacy.

From a lagoon on the shore of Lake Turkana in Kenya (  about 10,000 years ago, where two groups of local hunter-gatherers attacked and slaughtered each other, to a small agricultural center called Randers (  of 60,000 people on the shore of Randers Fjord in central Jutland Denmark where, just a few weeks ago,  two local groups (one of  native farmers and one of recent immigrants from the Muslim  Middle East) met to cast verbal attacks at each other; might also seem like a leap but…

Was this the beginning of war or the results of the first DIPCON?


Prehistoric Massacre Hints at War Among Hunter-Gatherers

You can read the entire story for yourself here. I warn you, it’s not for the faint at heart.

(This is not a new story. The New York Times and other publications have been covering it for years. Many anthropologists have made their careers by studying the origins of war among earliest peoples. Here’s a sample:

The Sign of an Advancing Society? An Organized War Effort AUG. 1, 2011


After reading this story I called my friend, Professor of Anthropology Shirley Strum at UC San Diego and one of the world’s foremost experts on the baboon culture of Kenya (, to see what she thought. Here’s what she said, “Well, Larry, I suppose it’s possible, but pork? Aren’t you reaching a bit?” 

The war against “pork” in the USA has always referred to the use of public money to benefit local citizens. The term dates back to Civil War days.  Here’s some background. ( ….

But today, in Denmark, it means something else entirely: a new form of “cultural war” has replaced the traditional forms of armed conflict that date back to those hunter-gatherers in Kenya 10,000 years ago; and the pork meatball and roast have replaced the rocks and primitive knives of that time as the weapons of choice. Instead of shouted insults between tribes gathered by the lagoon, today insults are exchanged online on Facebook or at face-to-face encounters at the Old City Hall.

Was this the end of Diplomacy

Or the beginning of The Age of Soylent Green?

Denmark’s New Front in Debate Over Immigrants: Children’s Lunches

Again, you can read the entire story here. Again, I warn you it isn’t for those with high cholesterol.


So, the next time you bite into that Jimmy Dean sausage patty with your eggs,  reach for a second McDonald’s Egg McMuffin (Made with lean Canadian bacon, not Danish bacon I might add in the interests of culinary fairness.), wolf down some pork BBQ at DixieCon in May, or scoff up your third slice of pizza, with both pork sausage and fatty domestic bacon, at just about any DipCon think of what you’re really doing --- contributing to the decline and fall of Diplomacy in the New Age of Soylent Green.


If the above is correct it represents the beginning  of a new kind of war; which brings to mind the question, “When was the beginning of peace?”

diplomacy, it is said, is the world’s third oldest profession. So, if war came first, then Diplomacy could not have been far behind.

What do Kenya and Denmark have to do with each other? At first glance, not much, but think about it; and think about how both might relate to diplomacy & Diplomacy.



Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh –

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #76




My Bathroom Diary was so popular last month I thought I would try a different diary.  Here you go.  Sorry I am in a bad mood because I can’t find my Kindle.  I think someone stole it.


Two Week Diary of My Sexual Habits


Day 1. No activity.


Day 2. No activity.


Day 3. I attempted masturbation after watching American Hustle.  Neighbors dog would not stop barking; mission aborted.  Time elapsed: 3 minutes.


Day 4. No activity.


Day 5. Successful but short and not very pleasurable masturbation in the shower, thinking about the girl in the old Thompson Twins music videos.  Time elapsed: 40 seconds.


Day 6. No activity.


Day 7. Planned on masturbation was too tired to even bother.


Day 8. Watching the Democratic Debate has probably killed my sex drive for life.


Day 9. No activity.  Diarrhea. 


Day 10. Drank five beers to get myself in the mood for masturbation.  Fell asleep on the couch.


Day 11. No activity.


Day 12.  Tried to masturbate to images of hot woman I saw on the bus and of football cheerleaders, but Andy Reid’s face popped into my mind.  Mission aborted.  Time elapsed: 4 ½ minutes.


Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: Harold Zarr, need six more.

Modern Diplomacy (Black Press): Rules in this issue.  Ten-player variant.  No planes will be used, just armies and fleets.  Signed up: Jack McHugh, Jim Burgess, John David Galt, Geoff Kemp, Harold Zarr.  Needs five more.

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki: Rules in issue #102.  Send in your guesses.  Prize for the winner?  Probably!  (Don’t forget to play in Richard Weiss’ subzine too!)

Hypothetical Questions: Just send in answers.  Anybody can play at any time, just takes participation.

Roger Cox has volunteered to run one of these: Divine Right, Dune, Source of the Nile, Titan, or Cosmic Encounter.  Contact me ASAP is you are interested in one or more of these games.  So far we have interest in Dune and Source of the Nile.

Coming Soon – Colonia VII?  Deviant Diplomacy?  Kremlin?  Make a suggestion or express interest!

Eternal Sunshine Game Section


Diplomacy, “Milk and Trash”, 2015A, F 05

Austria (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” F Constantinople Supports

 F Eastern Mediterranean - Smyrna (*Void*), A Galicia Supports A Silesia – Warsaw, A Rumania – Sevastopol,
 A Silesia – Warsaw, A Ukraine Supports A Rumania - Sevastopol.

England (Mark Firth – mark.r.firth “of” F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 A Edinburgh – Liverpool, F English Channel Supports F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Spain(sc), F North Sea - Belgium (*Fails*),

 A Sevastopol Supports A Moscow - Ukraine (*Dislodged*, retreat to Armenia or OTB).

France (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” F Liverpool – Wales, A Portugal - Spain (*Fails*).

Germany (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” F Belgium Hold,

 A Berlin Supports A Burgundy – Munich, A Burgundy – Munich,

 A Gascony Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Spain(sc), F Gulf of Bothnia - Livonia (*Bounce*),

 A Marseilles Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Spain(sc), F St Petersburg(sc) Supports F Gulf of Bothnia – Livonia,

 A Tyrolia - Piedmont.

Italy (John Biehl – jerbil “of” Retreat A Marseilles - Piedmont.. F Adriatic Sea Convoys

 A Apulia – Trieste, A Apulia – Trieste, A Bulgaria Supports F Constantinople,

 F Eastern Mediterranean Supports F Ionian Sea - Aegean Sea, F Ionian Sea - Aegean Sea, A Piedmont – Venice,

 F Spain(sc) Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean (*Dislodged*, retreat to Gulf of Lyon or OTB),

 F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean.

Russia (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” A Moscow Supports A Warsaw – Livonia,

 A Warsaw - Livonia (*Dislodged*, retreat to Prussia or OTB).

Turkey (John David Galt – jdg “of” A Ankara - Constantinople (*Fails*),

 F Smyrna Supports A Ankara - Constantinople.


Deadline for W 05/S 06 is March 29th at 7am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Constantinople, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Vienna, Warsaw=7, Build 2

England:          Brest, Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, Spain=7, Build 1 or 2

France:            Portugal=1, Remove 1

Germany:         Belgium, Berlin, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Paris, St Petersburg, Sweden=9, Build 1

Italy:                Bulgaria, Greece, Naples, Rome, Trieste, Tunis, Venice=7, Even or Remove 1

Russia:             Moscow=1, Even or Remove 1

Turkey:            Ankara, Smyrna=2, Even




Kaiser Sud to Kaiser Nord: et tu JBB???


Kaiser Sud to Mia Amigo: i hope you went for Smy


Kaiser Sud to Tsar: Your offer while generous was too late, the needs of the many dots out weigh the needs of fewer dots..


Rome (Oct 31, 1905): King Giovanni the Short stood up (to appear taller, however, this did not work as he had slid off his throne to stand), "Austria is in grave peril from the blackguard, the Kaiser. Hence I have ordered an ambitious naval operation to transport the Apulian army to Trieste. We hope that this operation succeeds by failing, if this makes sense. Germany cannot be allowed to strike at vital Austrian interests."


Berne[d] (Nov 11, 19045): The Institute for Strategic Studies reports in its recent issue that Germany appears to be running rampant southwards, the strategic objective unclear. The senior military analyst notes that the German fleets pose a continuing danger to England. A danger which will only grow as Germany gains more resources (centers).

Black Press Gunboat, “Noah’s Titanic”, 2015Arb32, F 05


Austria: F Bulgaria(sc) - Aegean Sea (*Fails*), A Galicia Supports A Ukraine – Warsaw,

 A Rumania - Sevastopol (*Bounce*), A Trieste Supports A Vienna – Tyrolia, A Ukraine – Warsaw,

 A Vienna - Tyrolia.

England: F Edinburgh - North Sea (*Fails*), F Irish Sea Hold, F London Supports F Edinburgh - North Sea,

 F St Petersburg(nc) - Barents Sea.

France: A Burgundy - Belgium (*Bounce*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Western Mediterranean (*Bounce*),

 A Munich - Burgundy (*Dislodged*, retreat to Bohemia or OTB), A Picardy Supports A Burgundy – Belgium,

 A Piedmont - Venice (*Fails*).

Germany: Retreat A Munich - Berlin.. A Berlin Supports A Silesia – Munich, F Holland - Belgium (*Bounce*),

 A Kiel Supports A Silesia – Munich, F North Sea - Edinburgh (*Fails*), F Norway - St Petersburg(nc),

 F Norwegian Sea Supports F North Sea – Edinburgh, A Ruhr Supports F Holland – Belgium, A Silesia - Munich.

Italy: F Aegean Sea Supports A Constantinople (*Ordered to Move*), A Constantinople – Ankara,

 F Greece - Bulgaria(sc) (*Fails*), A Rome Supports A Venice, A Smyrna Supports A Constantinople – Ankara,

 F Tunis - Western Mediterranean (*Bounce*), A Venice Supports A Piedmont - Tyrolia (*Void*).

Russia: A Warsaw Hold (*Dislodged*, retreat to Livonia or Prussia or Silesia or OTB).

Turkey: A Ankara - Constantinople (*Dislodged*, retreat to Armenia or OTB), F Black Sea - Rumania (*Fails*),

 A Moscow - Sevastopol (*Bounce*).


Deadline for W 05/S 06 will be March 29th at 7am My Time



Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Bulgaria, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna, Warsaw=7, Build 1

England:          Edinburgh, Liverpool, London=3, Remove 1

France:            Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=5, Even or Build 1

Germany:         Belgium, Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich, Norway, St Petersburg, Sweden=9, Build 1

Italy:                Ankara, Constantinople, Greece, Naples, Rome, Smyrna, Tunis, Venice=8, Build 1

Russia:             None-0, OUT!!

Turkey:            Moscow, Sevastopol=2, Even or Remove 1




Rus - Ger: OK, whatever. Even tho it won't stick you deserved it.


Rus - Tur: If you fail to support me (which I don't expect but hope for) I'm dead.


Rus - Aus: Thanks Anus. I did nothing to you. I got to Ser in desperation and you still attacked me. You continue to threaten me. Why?  I vote for anyone but you to win. You are a complete idiot anyway so to win you'd have to pull off a miracle. You won't because you are an anal idiot.


Rus - Eng: Was StP worth losing Edi? You idiot.


Rus - Fra: You should have done something versus Ger in '01. Your moves have been stupid pretty much every turn (especially this last turn). You are an idiot.


Pope Pluvius - Archduke: Those moves should maintain parity around Con, whilst you secure Sev and build a new army to face Germany. Is there any measure in removing your fleet so you can build another army? Perhaps letting France into Tyl is useful for both of us too.


Papal Envoy - Sultan:  These streets are somewhat ravaged now. I'm sure Moscow would be preferable.


Pope - Egg leading the Germanic hordes: Praying seems quite interesting. I'll let you know when I have something.


Ita - Fra: Don't worry! I'm here to back you up in your forthcoming battles up top (or at least make sure you don't venture into the Med again). The last thing I need is to help Germany into your territory.


Rus - Ger: As, I believe I said earlier, with idiots like these, how can you possibly lose?


Rus - Ita: I don't want to jinx you. I just hope you do OK till all the idiots have been removed (but this is up to Ger generosity).


Rus  - me: Well, in retrospect, I  might have done better. Does this make me an idiot because I am the first to go? I don't think so, considering all the opportunistic and mindless stabs I've been subjected to. Some real stupids in this game and I mean Real Stupids. Any of you Stupids who screwd me going to stop Germany? You Stupids (Eng & Fra especially) have handed him the win on a Silver Platter. This is how stupid most of you are (excepting Ger & Ita only). Enjoy the loss Stupids.


Dateline Europe: The headlines in both Berlin and London screamed one word:  INVASION!  The German Kaiser has expressed his extreme disappointment at the actions of the French Emperor, with whom the Kaiser has attempted on many occasions to build a bridge of friendship.


In London, the King has had the Admiral of the Imperial Fleet imprisoned for incompetence and dereliction of duty.  Members of the court expressed the view that they expected him to be beheaded shortly.  Meanwhile, Scottish rebels are reported to have welcomed German marines in joyous celebration of the sinking of the English Fleet in Edinburgh.


Reports have also been received that a French Fleet has once again moved into the Mid-Atlantic Ocean, perhaps in preparation of an attack from the south of French marines or a convoy of a French army from the mainland.  In any case, the British royal family is facing the worst possible situation with enemies both within and without.


Ger- Rus: Despite my good intentions and offers of help, you persist in attacking me when I have done nothing but offer my goodwill and offices to your advantage.  Never once did I invade your territory, yet you continually attacked me.  So be it.  I suspect that you end will come soon, and the ragged horde that you lead will shortly dispatch you to join the other members of your family who are no longer among the living.


Ger-Aus: Italy is not your friend, as has been amply demonstrated in the past.  The Balkans and Italy itself rightly belong to you.  All of the eastern territories are yours for the taking, if you move well.  Beware Italy, he will surely use his fleets to stab you in the back shortly!


Trump-Pope: What a loser! You say I'm not a Christian, but you're the one fighting everyone. If Catholics had any sense, they'd fire you.


Berlin to Paris: Hey pal, what do you say? How about you give me Munich back and let's go get England?


Berlin to London: Hey pal, what do you say? How about I take Munich back and let's go get France?


Ger–Ita: I know exactly who you are, my dear Pope!


Ger-Fra: Going to war with me profits you nothing when England lays prostrate at your feet.  Remember who invaded your lands, and who has gone to war to support you.  Italy will of course try to get your army out of his lands and into the mountains of Tyrolia, the better to open up the rich farmlands of southern France for his own needs.  Look for Italian fleets off your southern coast sooner rather than later!  Who is and who has been your true friend, mon ami?

By Popular Demand


The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer.  Your score for this answer will be doubled.  In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.  Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds, with the 10th round being worth double points.  A prize will be awarded to the winner.  Research is permitted, but cooperation or collusion between players is not!


Round 8 Categories


1.    A Greek Goddess.

2.    A consonant.

3.    Something named after an explorer.

4.    A science fiction author.

5.    A country in Europe.


Congrats to Rick Desper who scored 42 out of a possible 43 points.  Jack McHugh’s horrible score of 11 helps penalize all the NMRs too.


Comments By Category


General Comments – Rick Desper “Great, I beat "NMR" by three points!  Should have stuck with my instinct to pick JPII.  But it was late and I was caught up on the difference between "former" and "late" and decided that Benedict XVI was really the only "former" pope out there, since all the others are dead.  But then I forgot to give you his number, likely costing me a point (I haven't done the math). “


Greek Goddess – Brendan Whyte “Athena came to mind first, but I fear Hera may do better… or Aphrodite…. or Clotho.”  Dane Maslen “She seems the most obvious Greek goddess to me, but I'm not confident.”  Jim Burgess “This is going to be interesting if people UNDERSTAND "Greek' Goddess: I'm going with Aphrodite, but interesting how you choose what to do with people who say Venus.”  Mark Firth “For a diplomacy zine, who else but the patron goddess of war strategy?”


Consonant – Dane Maslen “Originally I chose B on the grounds that it was the first, but then I decided that Z, last of all the letters, not merely the consonants, was perhaps a better choice.  I can't see any particularly good reason to choose any other consonant, though S is (I believe) the most common one to appear in the English language.”  Mark Firth “Apparently, the commonest (my random choice was R).”


Named After an Explorer – Brendan Whyte “Land. Or do you mean an actual place? In which case I go for America (like thousands of Mexicans do daily).”  Andy Lischett “My first choice was Birdseye Peas, because I mistakenly thought the company was named after Admiral Byrd, who (I thought) invented flash-freezing. Then I asked Carol her choice and she said, "I'd pick America, except that Amerigo Vespucci was only a map maker, not an explorer. So I pick La Salle." So, following Carol's choice of an extinct car, I switched from Birdseye Peas to De Soto but also looked up Birdseye (named after Clarence Birdseye, who invented flash-freezing) and Vespucci, who was an explorer.”  Dane Maslen “I fear it is going to be a mistake to know that America is named after Amerigo Vespucci.”  Andy York “Good grief, so many: Columbia, Cook Islands, Marco Polo Bridge, Bering Sea…” Jim Burgess “America, was named of course after Amerigo Vespucci, who really wasn't that famous for anything else....  I think this is the answer you were "looking for", but I refrain from making it my Joker, since I'm unsure how people will get it.”  Geoff Kemp “No 3 gave me problems, I was struggling to think of anything, then it hit me. So it was either Hudson bay or America but felt that Hudson Bay is more obvious.”  Mark Firth “Perhaps a lone voice against a chorus of Americas?”


Sci-Fi Author – Dane Maslen “Playing the joker here might well be a mistake as there are plenty of answers that might plausibly be popular, but I'm going to gamble that most people will decide that Asimov is the most plausible answer.”  Jim Burgess “Three interesting good answers, Douglas Adams, Isaac Asimov, and H.G. Wells.  I think I choose Isaac Asimov for this purpose, but I like the other two better.”  Geoff Kemp “I make no apologies for adding Heinlein in as a no 4. He was one of the reasons that I started reading Science Fiction at junior school closely followed by Clarke and Asimov.”


European Country – Rick Desper “France.  No, Germany!  (Aaaagh!).”  Brad Wilson “France, where I am going in March!”  [[Heather will be jealous.]]  Dane Maslen “Logically I ought to answer 'United Kingdom' but I'm concerned about how you'll handle the mess that's likely to occur when some people answer 'United Kingdom', others answer 'Great Britain' and others 'England', the last two of which are different entities but often incorrectly used to refer to the United Kingdom.”  Mark Firth “Most apposite, with the referendum on British EC membership now announced. Indeed PM Davis Cameron is delivering his first "stay in" speech as I write.”


Round 9 Categories – Don’t Forget to Choose a Joker Category (Double Points)


1.    A brand of watch other than Rolex.

2.    A jewelry store chain.

3.    A measure of time.

4.    A breed of dog considered unintelligent.

5.    Someone who currently or previously participated in this zine.


Deadline for Round 9 is March 29th at 7am My Time


General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:  March 29th, 2016 at 7:00am my time. Hope to See You Then!