Eternal Sunshine #147

August 2021

By Douglas Kent - 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

On Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/270968112943024/ or on the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Follow on Twitter at @EternalSunshDip. Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website at http://www.diplomacyworld.net.

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Quote of The Month – “What´s wrong with getting rich quick? Quick is the best way to get rich. Oh, look who I’m talking to…you ever see her family? They find a nickel, they huddle together and bury it like squirrels.” - (Frank Buckman in “Parenthood”)

Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Dipzine published by a guy who has a huge melanoma surgery scar on his left calf, and hundreds of little scars on his right calf from when Sanka clawed at me to get my attention. She’s in her teens now, and she hasn’t slowed down from that. Gotten talkier too, which can be cute or annoying depending on my mood. Pooped in the litter? Talks to tell me. Throws up a hairball? Talks to tell me. Wants attention? Talks to tell me (and scratches when she deems necessary). Meer meer meer meer. The trouble is all the talking sounds the same, so it’s up to me to decipher it.

I’m feeling very unsettled this month. Most of that has to do with work, or at least things that start there. I work in an apartment in a high-rise building in Dallas, where the apartment is used as an office. My boss has two apartments in the building. One is for the office, and one is for living in. Although, truth be told, since the pandemic started, he spends much more time living in the office (in the one bedroom still kept as a bedroom). About three months ago, there was a fire in the building, almost exclusively limited to one unit on the 2^nd to top floor. But it was a big fire, a three or four alarm job, before they were able to properly extinguish it. IT happened after I’d gone home for the day, so I only heard about it from video shot by people on the street, a new report, and conversations I had with my boss while he was stuck in the lobby for hours with the rest of the residents.

The first was exactly three floors above the “living” apartment my boss had. He didn’t suffer much damage to his belongings; there was just some water damage to the floor, certain walls, etc. But the apartment reeked of smoke. After a few weeks it was determined by the building and the insurance company that many units in that area – his included – needed to be gutted and redone. There was too much water damage inside the walls and ceilings, and the smell was too string to simply disappear. Mold was a risk, soot was built up, and who knows what else was in there? It’s an older building, so I imagine there could be some asbestos or who knows what.

This meant that we had to now combine two apartments into one. The office apartment was already stuffed with belongings, paperwork, and plenty of other things. And my boss is a bit of a “collector.” He had over a thousand CDs, another few thousand DVDs, books, expensive clothes, and other items he’d need to find some space for. I’ve been doing a lot more moving than IT work since July, dragging boxes and bags of his belongings from one floor to another. It was quickly apparent that he’d need to give up a lot of his physical media if we’d make it all fit. Pile after pile, I’ve been bringing him DVDs and books to sort through. With the DVDs he was willing to give up maybe 25% of them; the books hit a much higher percentage, as he’d not even bothered reading many of them. CDs nearly all were gone since he hasn’t listened to one in years. Whatever he didn’t want, I’d take. A few were worth selling on eBay, which I’ve been doing. The rest I take to Half Price Books six to eight bags at a time, once a week. It’s going to be October ta the earliest before I have made a major dent in the castoffs at this rate, but they’ll only accept a certain amount at once. And you have to remain in the store the entire time they’re sorting them and calculating the offer they’re willing to make for whatever you bring. An hour a week waiting is about all I can handle.

The process is much more tedious than it might seem. Drag the belongings from one apartment to the other. Sort them. Bring them, a pile at a time, to my boss, where he makes a “keep” and a “give away” pile. Find a place to stick the “keep” selections. Drag the others down to my car in the basement garage, including two flights of stairs. Drive them home. Carry them inside. Sort them again, this time pulling out anything I think might be worth selling on eBay (if I can’t sell it for at least $10 including shipping, it isn’t worth the time and energy, and even those items could take months and months to be purchased, if at all). Then I do research to figure out which of those ARE worth selling after all. Examine them, photograph them, list them. Put them somewhere safe until they sell. Return the rest to the “sorted” area of my living room, which looks like a warehouse now…full totes, banker boxes, and stacks of CDs five feet high leaning against each other. Then, once a week, fill up four shopping bags with DVDs, two more with CDs (or one box), and a box or two of books, and load the car again. Carry them inside Half Price Books. Hang out for an hour, collect the $30 or whatever they offer, and back home.

At first these piles in the living room were making me a bit claustrophobic, but they’re slowly getting smaller, and I suppose I’ve gotten used to them. However, I’m about to bring hundreds more books home as well, as a result of the latest problems in the building. In order to get out of the apartment, my boss sold the furniture, the electronics, and some other items from in there, simply because we had no place to put them. The furniture in that apartment was the “good” furniture, as the stuff in the office is older, plainer, and more worn down. But a couple of weeks ago, after he’d done that, all our plans changed. The insurance company (in conjunction with the EPA), decided that the entire top three floors of the building needed to be gutted regardless of where they were in relation to the fire. There was too much soot and water that carried through that area. And we’re on the 13^th floor of a 15-story building, so we now have to relocate the office too. This means the belongings we hadn’t gone through, those kept in the office, also need to be sifted and sorted and categorized. Aside from paperwork and files, it’s mostly books this time. Political books (all passe now; thousands of pages on Clinton and Bush and Obama and Trump); financial books (many unread, others from back in the 60’s, again mostly passe since in the current environment few people want to learn how to use technical analysis or how to identify chart patterns when all you need to do is buy the hot stocks and hold them...that will change some day when the markets stop making all-time highs, but who knows when that is?). There are so many books, and now I discovered some had gotten water damage at some point (whether this was related to the fire or not I can’t tell). Those ones stink of must, and have to be thrown away. So, I’ve been dragging THOSE to the basement and throwing them in the dumpsters. As I said, I’m doing a lot less IT these days.

I think we’ll be relocating in early September, which will inevitably be a fiasco, and if I’m lucky enough to still have a job there in eight or nine months, we’ll probably be moving back when the reconstruction is completed. The only good thing is my boss is forced to go through a LOT of articles, newspapers, magazines, and files that have been saved for years, determining if they’re still needed or if they can be thrown away. Understandably, that’s more trips to the dumpster (and more time spent hunched over the paper shredder, when necessary). It took this crisis to get him to accept that keeping things “because I might need them someday” is not a sufficient reason. So he’s letting go of a lot of things, but that process also brings up a lot of memories, disappointments, the realization that plans and dreams fell through terribly. He’s been in that office for over 25 years; that’s a lifetime of hopes that are being forever dashed. It’s one thing to just move on, but another to be forced to look at them and think about the time, energy, and money each one consumed along the way.

I don’t feel like I have much security at work any longer, but I suppose all this moving work is keeping me busy and tired enough not to worry that much about it. If it ends, it ends; I’ll deal with it then. Sadly, I’m not in my twenties or thirties any longer. It isn’t so easy to jump from one job to another. Finding one will not be easy. No college degree (I skipped college to go take care of Mara, and because I couldn’t afford it at the time). I’m intelligent, have a lot of experience with a lot of different things, and I’m a loyal and hard-working person, but those don’t seem to be skills that match the algorithms. Someone like me could be a perfect fit for certain jobs, but I fear I’ll never find them or be given the chance to show it.

In the meantime, I’ll just keep plodding along, going through each day, trying to prepare for the worst while I leave the door open for the possibilities of good things happening. No matter how remote those possibilities may be.

In zine news, Peter and Any are back to recue you from my pitiful complaining by stuffing this zine with great subzine content. Plus, the price is right!

I guess that’s it from me for now. See you in September! Remember that old song? I don’t think I ever heard it except for some Saturday morning commercials every August.

Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: Brad Wilson, Paul Milewski, needs five more.

By Popular Demand: Ongoing. You can join at any time.

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?: Ongoing. Join in and play NOW!

Also in Andy York’s Subzine – You can find his ongoing “Hangman, By Definition” and Facts in Five, plus an opening for Breaking Away.

Standby List: HELP! I need standby players! – Current standby list: Andy York, Andy Lischett, Paul Milewski, Harold Reynolds, Jack McHugh, Brad Wilson.

Meet Me in Montauk

The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column

Andy York: I do have the Lone Gunmen on DVD. I may have to dig it out, and I do remember that first episode. More and more of fiction becoming reality in weird ways.

Sorry the Dallas Angelika is only showing blockbusters in person. Maybe it's to get some funds to be able to get back on sound footing. The AFS Cinema did a pre-opening fundraiser to refurbish things, rehire/train staff and get back into a presentable condition. It did quite well.

[[I think they started showing big budget films to generate extra revenue, which I can understand and appreciate. And perhaps they’ll scale back a bit when film production gets caught up again. But…maybe they won’t. The cinema is a different industry than it was five, or even three years ago. If I ever win the lottery, I’ll open my own art house theater and not worry about profits.]]

Dane Maslen - Mark Nelson's assessment of the X-Files matches mine quite well, other than that I'd probably rate more of the non-conspiracy episodes as good. For me the problem with the conspiracy episodes, and indeed the problem with the conspiracies depicted in many works of fiction, is that the conspiracy lacks an internal consistency. A conspiracy has a goal. The actions of anyone that is part of the conspiracy should be directed towards that goal. In the X-Files the actions of Cigarette Smoking Man are often far from that. From your description of The Lone Gunmen it might well be that its conspiracy theory is handled such that it makes sense.

[[I actually found Cancer Man’s actions to be consistent, especially as his motivations were fleshed out into the third season and beyond. I always found the early declaration that eliminating Mulder would turn him into a “martyr for his cause” to be paper-thin, so when we saw a lot more interaction between the powers that be, Cancer Man’s place in that group (not one of primary power), and his more personal motivations dealing with the Mulder family it became obvious what he said and what he did were not always one and the same. The only downside to this, which held true for a lot of the story threads, is that they were built for loyal fans of the series and not “drop in and watch an episode” types. That was also true of the first film: it sated fans, but outsiders were left wanting. The conspiracy has a clear stated goal beginning in the third season, if not earlier. There is a timeline in place, and the short-term goal is to ensure the success of the program at large and the ability to enact it along the prescribed timeline. CSM is not a powerful member of the syndicate, but is more a junior member and errand boy. Using him as your guide of what the syndicate is doing and why they are doing it is a poor way to follow the conspiracy. He has his own motivations and goals on a personal level.]]

There were at least three of us (Tom, Richard and I) that had evidently assumed that “you survived what I did not” referred to WWII. We all made the mistake of not going back and reassessing our assumptions in the light of later developments, always a mistake in a Kendo game. I wonder what mistakes I can manage to make in the new game.

[[I’ve won Kendo once or twice in my life, and I have no idea how I did it.]]

The Dining Dead – Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews

My viewing habits were very odd this month. I watched a lot of films I’d seen before, such as those listed before. I slowly continued with my X-Files discs, and I sat down to watch the first season of House of Cards when I found five seasons in the pile of DVDs I had to bring to Half Price Books or sell on eBay. I just haven’t felt restful enough lately to sit down and experience a new film that I might hold promise for. Unearth, a movie I backed on Kickstarter a number of years ago, has finally been released, and I have a private link to view that. But as of this moment I simply haven’t been in the mood. When I do, I’ll review it here. You’d be surprised how many films I backed five years ago are still working their way to completion. The resurgence of COVID-19 and the Delta variant has postponed any plans I had to resume going to the movie theater. And issues at work quickly erased the outside chance I had of traveling to enjoy the NHDocs film festival in person. Finally, I’ve found myself spending much more time listening to music lately – a lot of it music I know but haven’t played in years – and that has also cut into my film watching. And as I often do, while listening to music I’ve been reading, but those too are books I’ve read before, even if not for decades.

Older Movies Watched (that I’ve seen many times) – Children of Men, Chinatown, Stand By Me, Body Heat, To Live and Die in L.A., L.A. Confidential, Unbreakable, Reversal of Fortune, Creepshow, National Lampoon’s Animal House, The Game.

Octopus's Garden

Issue One Hundred

11^th August 2021

Sub-editorial

HELLO, good evening and welcome to Octopus's Garden, the subzeen with its very own Railway Rivals game. It is a subzeen to Douglas Kent's Eternal Sunshine. It's produced by Peter Sullivan peter@burdonvale.co.uk. It's also available on the web at: http://www.burdonvale.co.uk/octopus/.

Round 7 (RR 2473 B) — "Garrett Hobart" — Railway Rivals Map "B" (Lon&Lpl)

· 1) (46-21) Peterborough - Huddersfield : AYUP 20+6 ; HJA 10-6

2) (@5-52) Wales - Birmingham : HJA 20-3 ; JGF 10+3 ;
3) (31-43) Preston - Lincoln : No entries
4) (51-32) Birmingham - Stoke : BASH 20 ; JGF 10+1 ; AYUP 0-1.
5) (16-63) Sheffield - London : JGF 20-7+2 ; AYUP 10-2+7 ; HJA 0.
6) (61-@3) London - The North : HJA 20-6+4 ; JGF 10-4 ; AYUP +6
7) (26-11) Manchester - Grimsby : AYUP 20

Builds:

JGL black (John David Galt)

(H27)- Gloucester.
=-1+1[A]+2[H]

AYUP yellow (Mark Firth)

(F57) -D58 [-1 J] ; (H16) - G17 - E16 - Shrewsbury ; (Birmingham) - K22 - J22 [-1 B] - J24 - I25 [-1 B] ; (I67) - F68.
=-14-3

HJA red (Hank Alme)

(D46) - Doncaster [-2 J] - B49 ; (G20) - Wolverhampton.
=-5-2

BASH sky-blue (Bob Blanchett)

No builds.
=0+2[A]

Scores on the Doors:

Company	B/fwd	001	002	003	004	005	006	007	Builds	C/fwd
JGL	103		13		11	15	6		-01-00+03	150
AYUP	71	26			-1	15	6	20	-14-03+00	120
HJA	56	4	17			0	18		-05-02+00	88
BASH	-2				20				-00-00+02	20
Totals	228	30	30	0	30	30	30	20	-20-05+05	378

For Round 8, you may enter 5 of the following 8 races, then build up to 12 points of physical track. Orders to me, Peter Sullivan, at peter@burdonvale.co.uk by WEDNESDAY, 8th SEPTEMBER 2021.

Races for Round Eight:

3) (31-43) Preston - Lincoln (re-offer)
8) (@6-33) Any Seaport - Shrewsbury
9) (34-15) Liverpool - Doncaster
10) (25-@4) Manchester - The North
11) (56-42) Gloucester - Nottingham
12) (12-53) Hull - Wolverhampton
13) (62-24) London - Bolton
14) (41-66) Derby - Oxford

That was Octopus's Garden #100, Startling Press production number 396.

Out of the WAY #36

by W. Andrew York

(wandrew88 of gmail.com)

Howdy!

The biggest personal news is that I’m having to move at the beginning of October. My current apartment, yet again, is one of the last to undergo renovation in the complex and has to be completed by December when the permits expire. So, I’m taking the opportunity to move into a smaller 1-1 apartment (currently in a 2-2, by myself – the friend who was to share it ended up having to move out of town). But, that means some downsizing (which I badly need to do anyway) and preparing for the move.

Interestingly, I’m moving to an apartment that shares a common wall with my current one. To save effort of moving things down the stairs, around the corner and then up another flight of stairs I had a great idea – knock a hole in the common wall so I’d just have to shift things and avoid the stair trips (for instance, the desk I’m typing this on is moving maybe 10 feet). However, the apartment management didn’t share my viewpoint.

What this means for this column is nothing for the next issue in early September. However, for the following October issue I’ll either end up having to skip a month or, if folks can get orders in VERY early, say by the 25^th, I can have things done and to Doug before the moving starts. This is especially important as in early October the Internet connection will be moved and I might be unable to upload from my PC for a period of time.

Other than that, I did go to a live music performance on the Long Center terrace downtown. A singer I’m acquainted with for her solo career is also part of a trio, Nobody’s Girl, and it was their official CD release party (delayed from last summer). It was a nice night to be outside and enjoy great – LIVE – music. If you want to hear some of the music, videos are available on their YouTube channel.

The movie screenings were fun, though the film “Secret Life of Plants” wasn’t quite what I expected – it being a trippy experience. The “Slackers” event was fun, though I skipped the after party. I hope to catch Barbara Stanwyck in “Double Indemnity” (I quite like her!) this weekend and, maybe, a showing of “2001: A Space Odyssey”,

Everyone be well, autumn weather is coming soon!

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Texas Talk

ANN RICHARDS QUOTE #5

“Cherish your friends and family as if your life depended on it. Because it does.”

Sources: Banner on Congress Avenue, Austin TX; www.inspiringquotes.us/author/3002-ann-richards

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Letter Column

(always welcome, send them in!)

(if something shouldn’t be included here, clearly mark it as a personal comment)

No commentary this month

==================================

Mini-Book Reviews

(finished since last issue)

Cooking with Herbs (Culpeper Guide) by Patricia Lousada (1988; 96p).

It opens with an introduction to many herbs, listing some uses (both for cooking and other uses), where to find/how to grow it and some history of its use. Included are common herbs, such as Basil and Tarragon, and some I don’t know that I’d ever heard of, such as Bergamont and Angelica. It could be that, as this was printed in Great Britain, that I know them under another name, such as the listed Rocket which is Arugula in America.

Interestingly, after the herb 101 section the recipes are broken out into dishes (soups, salads, fish, etc.) rather than grouping them by primary herb. Thus, if you’re looking for a recipe with Sage you have to leaf through the book scanning for it in each ingredient list. This reduces the utility of the book.

Each recipe includes both metric and American measurements, a big plus! The instructions seem to be clearly written, though you may have to translate British terms into American English, which usually isn’t difficult to figure out from context. For instance, one recipe mentions “whizzing up” ingredients in a blender – pretty self-explanitory. There are a few illustrations, consisting of drawn presentations of a plated dish.

The downside, as this is 30+ years old, many of the dishes are not calorie friendly with butter and cream being part of many recipes. Additionally, some of the recipes appear to be somewhat time consuming or may require something most folks don’t keep handy – rabbit, pigeon breast, muslin just caught my eye. Therefore, be sure you have thoroughly read the recipe, verify that you have everything on the ingredient list AND that is mentioned in the instructions, as well as time to complete it before starting,

Conditionally recommended for the ambitious cook who wants to try something a bit beyond the home cook’s usual fare. That’s not to say all the recipes require that effort, but most do – see the Recipe section for a fairly approachable example. [July 2021]

Lives of the Popes by Richard P. McBrien (1997; 520p).

A study of the Papal throne, it opens with biographies of every pope grouped into 7 periods of major change in Papal outlooks and interaction with the greater world. The biographies do end with John Paul II as it was published during his pontificate. The end of the book includes a rumination of the future of the Papacy, with three appendixes addressing how popes are elected (at the time of publication), how popes are removed and a rating, with explanation, of the best and worst popes. Lastly there are a few tables/lists of Key Papal Encyclicals, longest/shortest Pontificates, etc.

Each biography has an initial paragraph that serves as an overview of the Pope’s time in office. The rest of the entry delves deeper into each Pope and gives further insight into items from the overview. However, some entries consist of just the introductory paragraph when the Pontificate was especially short or there is little record of his activities.

I found the book quite interesting, I was reading one entry per day (took some time!) so I had time to digest what I’d read. There are some things I knew about, such as the extravagance of some of the Renaissance popes. However, I was only somewhat aware of such as Formosus whose corpse was disinterred, dressed in full pontifical vestments and put on trial for perjury, coveting the papacy and violating church canons. Found guilty, his body was mutilated and thrown into the Tiber. Many other bits I wasn’t aware of, such as Benedict IX who was pope three different times.

The anti-popes are not directly addressed, except by a list with dates near the end of the book. They are indirectly covered in the biographies, as needed. There is also a glossary to explain some of the theological views mentioned in the biographies, as well as various terms and offices as they relate to the Catholic faith.

A very illuminating read, and well worth my time. However, I would only recommend this to someone who is interested in learning more about the history of the Papacy and how it related to the world throughout history. It is also a good reference work for those needing a source. [August 2021]

Pyramids by Terry Pratchett (1989; 358p).

From assassins, a pseudo-Egyptian land, ghosts, to deep-thinking camels and magical forces. Throw in some side dimensional maneuvers, menacing crocodiles and a manipulating high-priest, Pratchett presents another thoroughly enjoyable visit to his Discworld. His witty writing and situations that go off in unexpected directions make this a pleasure to read. Highly recommended! [August 2021]

Rise of the G.I. Army, The by Paul Dickson (2020; 432p).

A very compelling and well written book that filled in an area of American history that I wasn’t very well versed in. Covering the period of increasing threats in Europe and Asia after Germany attacked Poland, the efforts to increase production of military equipment and supplies while implementing the first peace-time draft in American history are detailed. Parallel actions within the military, building on the experience in overseeing the CCC, to rapidly expand its footprint and ability to take-in and train the new recruits.

Additionally, the political dealings, the opposition/isolationist movement and how racial concerns were considered are well described. There is considerable discussion of the peacetime maneuvers of large scale units to practice logistical operations, gain experience with combined arm coordination and new technologies/formations (paratroops, tanks) and how best to respond when confronted by a modern enemy using these tactics and weapons. Also, the maneuvers showed which leaders were past their prime for leading combat units; while also highlighting some of the best up-and-coming leaders (Patton, Eisenhower, etc.) that would lead the American military to victory in both theaters. An undercurrent throughout is the effectiveness of General George C. Marshall as Army Chief of Staff.

The book is extensively footnoted with a lengthy bibliography. That said, two asides in the text jumped out at me that makes me a bit leery of fully trusting the effort. The first, in recapping Patton’s career near the end of the book the author writes: “…when he drove his troops 1,200 miles across Libya to Tripoli, which he entered in January 1943.” That would have been Montgomery, I don’t believe any substantial American troops were part of the British 8^th Army’s drive. The other is a passing reference to “…[US] Army troops were trained here before fighting in such battles as El Alamein, Sicily…”. Again, I don’t believe any substantive American ground troops fought at El Alamein. Both statements are not footnoted and may have been added as “color commentary” rather than a factual statement and therefore escaped scrutiny.

Regardless of the two quibbles, I recommend this book to anyone wanting to know more about the months leading up to Pearl Harbor, how the US Army was revitalized to wage a war of mechanized maneuver and the leadership shaken out to put effective leaders at the forefront of the combat and supporting formations. [August 2021]

Sharpe’s Christmas by Bernard Cornwell (2003; 97p).

This is a collection of two short stories that Cornwell wrote on commission for the Daily Mail to fill-out two year’s Christmas issues. They were expanded/rewritten and issued in this chapbook as a fundraiser for the Sharpe Appreciation Society and the author’s charitable Foundation.

The first story is set in the winter after the French were mostly expelled from Spain and before the British moved strongly into France itself. Sharpe’s unit is sent to block a mountain pass that might be a retreat route for some French troops evacuating an untenable Spanish holding. While there, he meets an old friend from his time in India and has a creative solution to achieve his goals while helping the friend.

The second is set in the post-Napoleonic period, and centers on his life in Normandy with his companion and child. A small group of former French soldiers seeking Napoleon’s treasure, that they believe Sharpe has, visit. In his efforts to thwart them, he has to reconcile with the local French neighbors who have a dislike of the British and come up with another creative resolution to the situation.

Recommended only for those who have read the series and have knowledge of the events prior to each episode (well, mostly for the second story – the first is pretty standalone). [August 2021]

Waterloo by Bernard Cornwell (1990; 378p).

The penultimate book of Sharpe’s involvement in the Napoleonic Wars, and the post-war period. This one has Sharpe decamping from his Normandy homestead to rejoin in the British army gathering to meet the resurgent Napoleon after his escape from Elba and retaking the French army in a quest to reclaim his empire. Seconded to the Dutch command of the Prince of Orange, he has to deal with political concerns alongside defeating Napoleon.

It was a fascinating look at the skirmishes prior to the battle at Waterloo and the threat the French army was presenting to the entire European continent. I’ve read several books of the battle that look at it from a strategic viewpoint, but this is presented from a (fictional) personal perspective. After reading it, I have an entirely different view of the battle and how it played out.

As noted before, though this can be read as a stand-alone book, reading the previous books enhances the pleasure of in immersing yourself in this one! Highly recommended. [August 2021]

Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett (1980; 360p).

Another wonderful romp by Pratchett involving witches, murder, an evil queen, a lost prince, an acting troupe and wonky time. It is a great addition to the Discworld universe and a pleasure to read. Highly recommended, and not just the book but the whole series. [July 2021]

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Babylon 5 Quote

In “The Illusion of Truth” – Sheridan: “Commander…did you really threaten to grab this man by the collar and throw him out an

airlock?”

Ivanova: “Yes. I did.”

Sheridan: “I’m shocked. Shocked and dismayed. I’d remind you that we are short on supplies here.

We can’t afford to take perfectly good clothing and throw it out into space. Always take the

jacket off first, I’ve told you that before. [to the aggrieved person] Sorry, she meant to say,

stripped naked and thrown out an airlock. I apologize for any confusion this may have

caused.”

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Recipe of the Month

Recipe Philosophy: Except for baking, recipes are only suggestions. I rarely precisely measure, eyeballing most everything. The

listed measurements, for the most part, are estimates from the last time I made the recipe. Feel free to adjust to meet

your personal tastes – and remember, it is easier to add “more” of something than to compensate when “too much” has

been added.

For ingredients, if you don’t like raw onions, omit them or replace with celery to retain the crunchiness. If you like food with

more spice, add an extra jalapeno or use habaneros instead. On the other hand, if you don’t like spicy food, replace the

jalapeno with a bell pepper. Optional items are used when I’m looking for a variation or making it for individuals

with specific preferences or allergies.

Trout and Sole Seviche

Lead-in Note: Any fresh fish can be used for seviche, but this combination of pink trout and sole makes a very attractive first course. For a light lunch it could be served in half an avocado.

450g (1lb) trout fillets, skinned

450g (1lb) sole fillets, skinned

150ml (1/2 pt/2/3 cup) lime juice

½ red onion, sliced very fine (or 6 spring onions)

1 tsp freshly ground black pepper

½ cup finely chopped fresh coriander leaves

2 tbsp olive oil

1 ½ tsp salt

3 medium tomatoes, skinned, seeded and chopped

1 tbsp finely chopped parsley

lettuce

Remove any bones from the fillets with tweezers then cut into thin slices. Mix with the lime juice, spring onions, pepper, coriander, oil and salt. Cover and refrigerate for at least 3 hours. Mix with the chopped tomatoes and serve in a heap on lettuce leaves garnished with fresh parsley.

Serves 6

Notes (from Andy):

- I do like ceviche (spelling on this side of the Pond), though I’ve not personally made it (but, maybe I will!).

- You can certainly substitute or add other seafood, such as bay scallops, smaller shrimp or calamari sections.

- Other veggies that could be included or substituted are diced carrots, jicama, cucumbers and/or celery.

- Instead of serving on a half avocado, the avocado can be cubed and added into the ceviche.

===================================

Game Section

Everyone Plays Games: Hangman, By Definition; Facts in Five

Game Openings: Breaking Away (Kent, Burgess, Smith; Firth, minimum 6 players needed)

Standard Choice (Smith, minimum 4 players needed)

Possible Game Openings: Breaking Away Variants, Grey-Press Gunboat (no preference lists)

Suggestions accepted for other games to offer.

Standbys: Breaking Away (x1); Gunboat Diplomacy (x1)

Rules for Breaking Away. Breaking Away Variants and Choice available on the Variable Pig website (variablepig.org)

~~+++++++++++++++++++++~~

“Round Rock Express”

(No-Press Gunboat, Game #1)

MN: 2021Crb32

Fall 1901

Austria: F alb-GRE, A SER s a alb-gre (nsu), A TRI hold

England: F NTH c a yor-bel, F eng-BRE, A yor-BEL

France: F MAO holds (unordered), A spa-POR, A par-BUR, f bre-spa(sc) (nsu)

Germany: F DEN-swe, A kie-HOL, A MUN s eng a nwy-swe (nsu)

Italy: F ION c a apu-tun, A apu-TUN, A VEN s aus a tri

Russia: F BOT-swe, F SEV-bla, A UKR-rum, A SIL-mun

Turkey: A ARM-sev, F ANK-bla, A BUL-rum

Supply Center Count

Austria: Bud, Tri, Vie, SER, GRE = 5 (+2 Build)

England: Edi, Lpl, Lon, BRE, BEL = 5 (+2 Builds)

France: ~~bre~~, Mar, Par, POR = 3 (even)

Germany: Ber, Kie, Mun, DEN, HOL = 5 (+2 Builds)

Italy: Nap, Rom, Ven, TUN = 4 (+1 Build)

Russia: Mos, StP, Sev, War = 4 (even)

Turkey: Ank, Con, Smy, BUL = 4 (+1 Build)

Neutral: Nwy, Rum, Spa, Swe

Next Due Winter 1901

Note – Split seasons are granted when 2 or more requests are received if 4+ players; 3 or less requires only 1. Winter 1901

always a split season.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Hangman, By Definition

This is a five round game, with each round consisting of a variable number of turns. The winner will be the person who wins the most rounds, with a tie breaker being fewest total number of turns in those winning rounds. Second tie breaker will be the most number of letters guessed (by total count revealed, not by individual letter).

Each round will consist of identifying a word of at least six letters. Along with each word will be the first definition given. All words and definitions will be identified by blank spaces. Words and definitions are verified in a dictionary that was my high school graduation gift (slight hint to those who might want to find the edition).

The goal is to guess the word in as few turns as possible. Each turn, all players will submit one letter to be revealed. The letter submitted by the most players will be the letter revealed in the next turn. Ties will be broken by a randomized method. Additionally, each player should submit a guess for the word. Once the word is correctly identified (spelling is important), that round will end and a new round will begin. All players who guess the word in the same turn will share in the win for the round. If the word is not guessed by the end of six turns with no letter being revealed, no one will win the round.

Along with revealing letters in the word, letters will be revealed in the definition. There are no bonus points for guessing any part of the definition, it is only there to help players figure out the word. No guesses about parts of the definition will be confirmed or displayed except by the letter revealed in that round. The letters “E” and “S” can never be chosen as the letter to be revealed.

Game 1, Round Four, Turn 2:

Letter Votes: H – 1; J – 1; K – 1; N – 1; T – 1; X – 1; Y - 1 Revealed: T (dice roll decision with d8)

Words Guessed: (Firth) Minima; (Kent) Proven; (Lischett) Vacuum; (Maslen) <>; (O’Hara) <>;

(Smith) Zygote; (Wilson) Priest

Solution:

Word: __ __ __ __ __ __ (6)

Definition: __ __ __ (3) L __ __ __ __ (5), __ __ __ __ LL __ (7)

__ __ __ T __ __ __ __ __ __ (10) __ __ __ __ __ __ T (7)

__ __ (2) _ (1) __ __ __ __ __ __ __ (7) __ __ (2) __ __ __ __ __ (5);

__ __ (2) __ __ __ __ (4)

Never Revealed: E, S Already Revealed: L, T

Game Words Correctly Guessed: Infinitesimal (David-Gardner, Firth, Kent, Smith, Wilson);

Triclinium (Firth, Maslen, Smith, Wilson)

Chummy (Wilson)

+++++++++++++++++++++

FACTS IN FIVE

Rules: There will be five rounds, the cumulative high score at the end of the fifth round will be the winner. Anyone may join anytime with a starting score matching the lowest total from the previous round. Anyone missing a round will add the lowest score of that round.

Each round will consist of five categories and five letters. Each player submit may an entry for each category which has a key word that starts with each of the letters (twenty-five total entries). Key words are generally the first word; however articles (the, a, etc.) and modifiers (“red” in red bicycle for “R” in “mode of transportation” or “general” in General Lee for “G” in “Military Leaders”) are not key words. A word in the category may not be the key word (“bank” in “Bank of America” for “B” in the category “Banks”). For given names, the last name is the key word, if married it will be their post-marriage last name. However, in the case of commonly used stage names, that name should be used (in a category of female singers, ”Q” could be “Queen Latifa” and “Cher” for “C”). An entry may only be used once per round. Please clearly identify which individual you are using as your answer if there are multiple potential people with a given name. For instance, if the category is American Presidents, answering Washington is fine as there is only one; however, if you decided to use Bush you need to indicate whether you are submitting the father or the son. Unclear answers will be matched to score the least points. Using the Bush example, if one person submitted “Bush” and three people submit “George W. Bush” the latter would score 2 points and the former 1.

One point will be scored for each entry that unarguably meets the letter and category. An additional point will be added if anyone else also uses the same valid entry for the same category. Maximum possible score in a round is 50 with a lowest possible score of 25, presuming an individual submits a valid entry for each category and letter in that round.

Research is allowed, collaboration between players is not.

Game Three, Round Four

Bolded - Scores 2 points for matching another entry; Crossed Out - scores 0 points; otherwise scores 1 point.

REMINDER - Last names are generally the key word, not first names.

Players H O V Z * (Wildcard)

Four-footed Animal

Mark Firth Horse Otter Vole Zebra Bandicoot

John David Galt Horse Ox <> <> Cow

Doug Kent Horse Otter Vicuna Zebra Dog

Andy Lischett Horse Ocelot Vole Zebra Dog

Walt O’Hara Hog Ocelot Vervet (Monkey) Zebra Cow

Kevin Wilson Horse Otter ~~vampire bat~~ Zebra Dog

Biographical Book

Mark Firth Humble Pie Ooh: What… Victory in… Z Factor, The Becoming

John David Galt <> <> <> <> <>

Doug Kent H Hoping On Writing Virginia Woolf Zechariah Diary of a Young Girl

Andy Lischett Hamilton Oprah Winfrey Virgil Zola Truman

Walt O’Hara Hollywood Can Only Fools… Voices/Silences Zeffirelli Life

Kevin Wilson Hillbilly Elegy Oprah Winfrey Virginia Woolf Zealot A Promised Land

Toy

Mark Firth Hobby Horse Octonauts View-Master ZhuZhu Pets Teddy Bear

John David Galt <> Operation <> <> Frisbee

Doug Kent Hobby Horse Operation Viewmaster Zoetrope Doll

Andy Lischett Hobby Horse <> Voodoo Doll Zhu Zhu Pets Yoyo

Walt O’Hara Hula Hoop Optimus Prime Viewmaster Zurg Barbies

Kevin Wilson Hot-Wheels Operation Viewmaster Zhu Zhu Pets Legos

Military Aircraft

Mark Firth Heinkel 111 Lockheed P-3 Orion Vulcan Zeppelin (Q-class) Foxbat (MIG-25)

John David Galt Hornet Osprey Vertol Zeppelin Raptor

Doug Kent Hercules Oryx Voodoo Zero Dragonfly

Andy Lischett Harrier Osprey Vindicator Zero Sopwith Camel

Walt O’Hara Hercules Osprey Vulcan Zeppelin-Staaken P-51 Mustang

Kevin Wilson Hornet Osprey Viper Zeppelin-Lindau DI Eagle

College/University Nicknames (Please Also Name the Institution)

Mark Firth H Whales Owls Volunteers Zips Gorloks

John David Galt Hornets Oaks Vikings Zips Cardinal

Doug Kent Hawkeyes Owls Volunteers Zips Ducks

Andy Lischett <> Ole Miss <> <> Bama

Walt O’Hara Hawks Oles Vikings Zips Terrapins

Kevin Wilson Hawkeyes Owls Volunteers Zips Tigers

Note – for allowed and disallowed answers, please feel free to correct me!

Notes on Mark’s Answers: Mark expands on the Biographical Books as Humble Pie (Gordon Ramsay), Ooh: What a Lovely

Pair: Our Story (Ant & Dec), Victory in the Kitchen: The Life of Churchill’s Cook (Georgina Landemare), Z Factor,

The (Subhash Chandra), Becoming (Michelle Obama); Mark expands on the College/University Nicknames as

Humpback Whales (Univ of Alaska SE), Owls (Temple Univ. PA), Volunteers (Univ of Tennessee), Zips (Univ of

Akron, OH), Gorloks (Webster Univ, MO)

Notes on John’s Answers: John expands on the College/University Nicknames as Hornets (Sacramento State University), Oaks

(Menlo College), Vikings (Diablo Valley College), Zips (University of Akron), Cardinal (Stanford University)

Notes on Doug’s Answers: H Hoping is Helplessly Hoping; Doug expands on the College/University Nicknames as Hawkeyes

(U of Iowa), Owls (Rice), Volunteers (U of TN), Zips (U of Akron), Ducks (U of Oregon)

Notes on Andy’s Answers: Andy expands on the College/University Nicknames as Ole Miss (University of Mississippi), ‘Bama

(University of Alabama)

Notes on Walt’s Answers: Walt expands on the Biographical Books as Hollywood Causes Cancer (Tom Green), Only Fools and

Stories (David Jason), Voice and Silences (James Earl Jones), Zeffirelli: An Autobiography (Franco Zefferelli), Life

(Keith Richardson); Walt expands on the Military Aircraft as Lockheed C-130 Hercules, Ogden Osprey, Vulcan

Bomber; Walt expands on the College/University Nicknames as Hartford Hawks (University of Hartford), St. Olaf Oles

(St. Olaf University), Salem State Vikings (Salem State), Akron University Zips, Maryland Terrapins

Notes on Kevin’s Answers: Vampire Bat was disallowed as it isn’t a four footed animal; Kevin expands on the Biographical

Books as Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by JD Vance, Oprah Winfrey: An Oprah Winfrey

Biography by Lottie Davidson, Virginia Woolf by Hermione Lee, Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth by

Reza Aslan, A Promised Land by Barak Obama; Kevin expands on the College/University Nicknames as Hawkeyes (Uni of Iowa), Owls (Temple Uni), Volunteers (Uni of Tennessee), Zips (Uni of Akron), Tigers (University of Missouri (& LSU & Clemson & Memphis & Auburn & Grambling)

General Player Comments:

[Mark Firth] – One subject was fine, one was OK, one took a bit of digging, one I knew what it ws but no examples…and the

fifth I didn’t know existed!

[Andy Lischett] – University nicknames are tough, unless you want team names, but that’s not the category. Maybe NRU count

as nicknames. U Mass and U Conn probably quality. Otherwise, I don’t think most colleges have nicknames. The

University of Illinois at Chicago used to be called Circle. [WAY] – Actually, sports team nicknames generally apply to

the University as a whole. For instance, if you refer to the Spartans folks think of Michigan State (which I attended) or,

as noted above, the Volunteers is associated with Tennessee. It may not be exclusive, such as Kevin’s example of the

Tigers; but it does represent the school as a whole.

[Kevin Wilson] – Animals was very broad so I stuck with mammals. It will be interesting to see if folks go specific or stick to

species instead of breed or something further down the taxonomic scale.

Aircraft similarly, lots to choose from so I, again, went a bit more generic. And, being Ameri-centric, I tried to stick with US

military aircraft but couldn’t find a “Z” so went with the trusty Germans who love the letter. [WAY} – the only

American ones that I’m aware of are the lighter than air aircraft (aka blimps/zeppelins) which were designated by a Z

moniker, much as mid-20^th century fighters had P (such as P-51, P-47, etc.).

{KW} – And, yet again, toys, ugh too many choices. The only one I feel really has a shot is the * guess, perhaps one of the

most ubiquitous toys on the planet. I know we have thousands of the little pieces in this house. My son was way into

Legos at one time, mainly the Star Wars line, but some other stuff too. I’m still amazed at times what they can create

with the little things. A couple completely give away my age. Who has seen a Viewmaster or the game Operation in

years?

I need to read more biographies. Most of my recent biographical reads didn’t fit the letters asked but a couple did. I

recommend both Hillbilly Elegy and A Promised Land. I enjoyed both. The others, I’ve not read but did provide the

letter needed. [WAY} – I’ve read Zealot, an excellent book as well as his volume on Islam which I also recommend.

Game Three, Round Five

Letters: B D E G R

Categories: Television Comedy Series Title; American Civil War Military Figure;

Men’s First Name (over 8 letters); Active Major League Baseball Player; Drama Movie Title

Current Standings

Scores by Category 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th Now Previous Total

Kevin Wilson 8 7 8 8 9 122 + 40 = 162

Doug Kent 9 6 8 7 8 113 + 38 = 151

Andy Lischett 10 6 6 7 2 117 + 31 = 148

Mark Firth 9 5 8 7 8 107 + 37 = 144

Walt O’Hara 8 5 6 9 6 107 + 34 = 141

John David Galt 5 0 3 8 6 79 + 22 = 101

===================================

Deadline for the Next Issue of Out of the WAY:

September 8, 2021 at noon – See You Then!

Game entries, letters of comment and other material can be sent to:

wandrew88 at gmail.com; or by post to: W. Andrew York; POB 201117; Austin TX 78720-1117

Eternal Sunshine Game Section

Acquire – “Blind”

Players:

Kevin Wilson – ckevinw@gmail.com; John David Galt – jdgalt@att.net; Mark Firth – mogcate@aol.com; Andy Lischett – andy@lischett.com; Tom Howell – off-the-shelf@olympus.net

As a reminder to all players: the rule I’ve bene going by, which I have in my copy of the game rules in the box, is that you cannot exchange tiles unless ALL of your tiles are unplayable. I believe this was changed in later editions of the game. But that’s the rule I’ve been going by in this game and therefore it’s the rule we’re stuck with. I won’t be using that rule if I ever run this again.

Turn Eleven

Wilson: Plays 9-I. Buys three Worldwide for $400 each.

Galt: Plays 4-H. Buys three Worldwide for $400 each.

Firth: Plays 3-C. Buys three Worldwide for $400 each.

Lischett: Plays 12-F. Buys three Worldwide for $400 each.

Howell: Plays 3-G. Buys three Worldwide for $400 each.

Wilson: Plays 9-A. Worldwide is merged into Festival. Tom Howell received $4,000 and Andy Lischett receives $2,000. Kevin trades four Worldwide for two Festival. John sells three Worldwide for $400 each. Mark trades two Worldwide for one Festival and sells one Worldwide for $400. Andy sells five Worldwide for $400 each. Tom sells six Worldwide for $400 each. Kevin buys nothing.

Order for Turn Twelve:

Galt, Firth, Lischett, Howell, Wilson, Galt

Deadline for Turn 12 is Friday September 10^th at 7pm My Time (12 hours earlier than the standard zine deadline)

Diplomacy, “Indestructible Machine”, 2020A, W 08/S 09

Austria: Rick Davis – redavis914@aol.com - Retreat A Sevastopol-OTB..F Albania - Trieste (*Fails*),

A Budapest Supports F Albania - Trieste (*Cut*), A Bulgaria Supports A Rumania (*Cut*),

A Rumania Supports A Budapest.

England: Mark Firth – mogcate@aol.com - F Spain(sc) Supports A Marseilles.

France: John David Galt – jdgalt@att.net - Retreat A Burgundy-OTB..

F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports F Ionian Sea - Naples (*Void*), A Venice Supports F Trieste (*Cut*).

Germany: Andy Lischett – andy@lischett.com – Build F Kiel..F Belgium - North Sea,

A Brest Supports A Paris – Gascony, A Burgundy - Marseilles (*Fails*), F Kiel - Helgoland Bight,

A Munich - Tyrolia (*Fails*), F Norwegian Sea Supports F Belgium - North Sea, A Paris – Gascony, A Silesia Hold,

A Tyrolia - Venice (*Fails*), A Vienna Supports A Galicia - Budapest.

Italy: Toby Harris – toby@responsiva.biz - F Edinburgh – Yorkshire, A Marseilles Hold, F Naples – Apulia,

A Rome - Tuscany.

Russia: Bob Durf – playdiplomacymoderator@gmail.com – Build A St Petersburg, A Warsaw..

A Galicia - Budapest (*Fails*), A Moscow – Ukraine, F North Atlantic Ocean – Clyde,

A Norway – Iceland (*Impossible*), F Portugal - Rome (*Fails*), F Sevastopol Unordered,

A St Petersburg Unordered, A Warsaw Supports A Moscow - Ukraine.

Turkey: Jack McHugh - jwmchughjr@gmail.com – Build A Ankara.. A Ankara - Smyrna (*Bounce*),

F Constantinople - Smyrna (*Bounce*), F Greece - Bulgaria(sc) (*Fails*), F Ionian Sea - Eastern Mediterranean,

F Trieste Hold.

PRESS:

Russia – All:

Constantinople, the war room of the Ottoman Empire: The Sultan was in a foul mood, things weren't going well again for the Ottoman Empire in this war--yet again. Breaking off yet another evening of pleasure with his wives to again hear more about the incompetence of his armed forces...it made one weep with frustration and thwarted desires...no one understands how hard this job is, thought the self-pitying Sultan.

"I see Tsar 'Sidehow' Bob is back on the throne again, tell me my foreign minister, any word at all from him?" he asked testily of his rather milquetoast foreign minister, a man who said very little and did even less.

"No sire, nothing since his last message several seasons ago, although regular press reports continue to emanate from the Kremlin.""

"The man has time to write pithy press dispatches and make memes for the amusement of his court but I can't get a damn note--this is what technology has done for diplomacy. I got more responses using snail mail than our 'instantaneous' email...bah!"

An aide entered and quickly walked to the Sultan's Admiral of the Fleet--another armchair incompetent who could barely stand to be on board a battleship let alone command a fleet, but one had to work with what one had and he was loyal to his Sultan. The aide passed a note to the Admiral.

"More bad news from our worthless fleet!?" asked the Sultan in a whiny, petulant but commanding and savage tone. "I pay millions of akçe on my fleet and it can't even get to Italy without stopping off in Trieste...":

The Admiral smiled broadly as he hated the constant abuse the Sultan heaped upon the fleet, despite the deserving nature of most of it, "No Sire, our capture of Trieste has allowed the resources to build more units, I think you'll see that it should be more fleets..."

Caught off guard the Sultan was pleased and agreed to reward the fleet with more builds. "If only my generals were able to get me some dots, they too would enjoy the favor of the Sultan," the Monarch added, glowering at his army's commanding general.

The General, a small man in a large suit, weakly defended his inept army, "Sire, we have explained to you before that there is only so much we can do with such a small army." His pathetic defense, much like his army's, was interrupted by one of his aides giving him a piece of paper with a short report. The General was much less pleased than the Admiral however.

"I have report that the successful assault by our Russian ally has retaken Sevestapol from our Austrian enemy," noticing the Sultan's wide grin he quickly added, "but it may not be to our advantage as the Austrian army will likely retreat across our undefended Armenian border where it could threaten our home centers."

"I know exactly what that means--I've only be Sultan for over 30 years and can read a map," said the Sultan in his usual bad humor. "Need I remind you that I have a Masters in International Relations from an ivy school."

"And zero Diplomacy wins," muttered the General.

"What was that?" asked the irritable Sultan whose slight deafness on his right side was well known. "You know I can't stand it when you mumble on hard of hearing side. If you weren't the publisher of this stupid zine I'd replaced you decades ago you whining Kent pig.

"Sorry Admiral but I must reward his incompetence by building another army to protect our open rear flank thanks to that incompetent but brillant Tsarist ally--he forgets to send in orders every two years and is rewarded with 10 centers. I work like a slave to get half as many. I am surrounded by idiots and liars."

"Yeah, who you picked," added the General, again not quite loud enough for the Sultan to hear.

"How about if we see if we can get that village idiot/genius in the Kremlin to send us a note this season, my useless foreign minister?" asked the Sultan.

"It's not my fault he won't respond," huffed foreign minister and another publisher Andy York."We're doing the best we can but you know how the Tsar is--he's always out of town with his pleasure squad. My ambassador says you'll have to call him yourself."

The Sultan groaned inwardly at that. The last call took over an hour and that drunken Tsar still got his orders wrong. The Sultan didn't relish another hour reassuring the Tsar Bob that he was still an important player and trying to coax him to get his correct orders in on time.

To make the Ottoman Empire, Islam's greatest state, dependedent on the good will of the drunken Tsar, God truly does work in mysterious ways thought the Sultan. This thought made him decide that Allah would forgive him breaking his rule on alcohol consumption since he was forced to deal with Sideshow Bob yet again and only the sweet numbness of booze made this acceptable to the Sultan.

Deadline for F 09 is: September 11^th at 7am My Time

Diplomacy, “Wine Lips”, 2020B, S 06

Austria: Harold Reynolds – hjreynolds2@rogers.com - F Aegean Sea Teleports to North Atlantic Ocean (Hold),

A Berlin Supports A Kiel, A Bohemia Hold, A Budapest Hold, A Kiel Supports A Munich – Ruhr, A Munich – Ruhr,

A Serbia Hold, A Silesia – Munich, A Vienna Hold.

England: David Cohen – zendip18@optonline.net – A Belgium – Picardy, F Edinburgh - North Sea,

F English Channel - Brest (*Bounce*).

France: David Burgess – burgesscd@roadrunner.com – F Clyde – Edinburgh,

F Wales - English Channel (*Fails*), A Yorkshire - Wales (*Fails*).

Germany: Mark Firth – mogcate@aol.com - F Baltic Sea – Denmark,

A Holland Supports A Belgium (*Ordered to Move*).

Italy: George Atkins - GeorgeWrites@outlook.com – A Greece Hold, F Ionian Sea Supports A Greece,

A Marseilles Hold, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Convoys A Portugal – Brest, F Naples Supports F Ionian Sea,

A Portugal - Brest (*Bounce*), F Rome - Tyrrhenian Sea, F Spain(sc) - Portugal (*Fails*), A Venice Hold.

Russia: Heath Davis-Gardner – heathdavisgardner@gmail.com – A Burgundy Supports A Munich – Ruhr,

A Moscow Unordered, A Norway – Sweden, A Rumania Hold, A St Petersburg – Norway, F Sweden – Skagerrak,

A Ukraine Supports A Rumania, A Warsaw - Livonia.

A/I/R Draw Fails

Now Proposed – DIAS. Please vote. NVR=No.

PRESS

Anonymous: A lady whose last name is Heard,

Once told me "This is not absurd:

I am very keen

To marry Ken Zeen

So I can be Zeen and not Heard!"

On an Italian warship somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean...:

"Hey, Paolo! Wake up, Paolo! Hey, Paolo!"

Machinist's Mate 2nd Class Paolo Vermicelli was having a rough night in his bunk trying to get four-hours of sleep before his next watch. It didn't help that his bunk was located next to the engine room. It wasn't so much the noise, which was omnipresent. It was the low-frequency vibrations which shook Paolo to his core. Paolo was fed up, anyway, and had decided to move his sling hammock into the hallway next to the forward Head. Paolo was not so concerned with the olfactory effects, as he could stuff oily rags up his nose. He opened one baleful eye and looked down at the person who woke him up.

"Bastardo! Why are you bothering me, Antonio? I just came off shift and I'd like to get at least one hour of sleep on this god-forsaken ship! Go away, rapidamente, before I cut your balls off and throw them in the furnace of engine #2!"

"Paolo, I just heard the Exec talking to another officer that we are going on convoy duty almost immediately!" exclaimed Seaman 3rd class Antonio Mentecatto, as he continued to rock the hammock. "You know what that means, don't you?"

"In about 10 seconds I'm going to swing a 20 pound wrench at your head, Antonio. You know what THAT means, don't you?"

"No, you're too slow! Hah! Hah!" laughed Antonio a bit nervously. "A convoy means we get to sail to England! The British government asked us to help them against the French. They think we can help save their country. Just think, Paolo. I've always wanted to drink real English ale and go out with a proper English lady. Maybe see their King. And drive on the wrong side of the road, too!"

"Antonio, do you really want to eat English food? Anyway, you talk too much. My head hurts!" By this time, Paolo had dragged himself up and was hanging over the side of his bunk, staring down at the naive face of his friend, Antonio He shook his head in pity. "Antonio, what makes you think we can help England, or even should? We're not allies. We're not even that good of a military. That's why Russia and Austria are running through Europe, while we do picket duty down here. I don't think a convoy will work. It depends on England helping us, rather than themselves. I'm not an Admiral, but that sounds fishy. The French have got the English bottled up, from what I've heard. They're always fighting each other, anyway. Let 'em kill each other off."

Antonio thought for a minute, then spoke: "But why would the English try and trick us?"

"Why?" replied Paolo. "Because we're Italians, that's why. Everybody thinks our best skill is making spaghetti and waiting tables...no, our two best skills are making spaghetti, waiting tables, and drinking Chianti. Uh, wait. No. Forget it. The point is, nobody cares one way or the other, except that they think they can fool us. But, unfortunately, that often turns out to be true, Anotonio."

"So, Paolo," replied Antonio, whose head was starting to ache, but he couldn't figure out whether it was the pounding and vibration of the Engine Room or the conversation, itself, 'Paolo, what're we going to do, then?"

"Bloody Mary on a cross, Antonio! Am I the ship's Captain!?" Paolo was still angry at being woken up for this rambling nonsense, but he began to take pity on his friend. "Look, amico. I'm lucky if I can remember how to calculate cube roots, okay? If I was to bet money (or had money to bet), I'd say we would be putting troops into Brest, not England. At worst, we'd probably meet the British trying to sneak their own people into that city, as well. After all, they need more troops and they want to reduce the French presence in England. Doesn't that make sense?"

Antonio scratched his head for a minute as he absorbed Paolo's answer. "Diavolo! You're right, Paolo! So, what happens if we BOUNCE THE BRITS IN BREST?" Antonio smiled, thinking the alliteration was his own clever invention, having never gone to school long enough to learn most of the elements of grammar.

"Well, Antonio, I guess we wind up PICKETING our noses out here in the Atlantic," joked Paolo, as he mimicked picking his own nose to highlight what he thought was a clever punch line. Except Antonio didn't get the joke. And we can't blame Antonio very much, because Paolo might be smarter than Antonio, but he couldn't tell a joke to save his life.

Deadline for F 06 is September 11^th at 7am My Time

Balkan Wars VI, “Bad Way to Go”, 2020Apb08, W 17/S 18

Albania: Mark Firth – mogcate@aol.com – Build A Trieste..F Bosnia Supports A Trieste – Croatia,

F Croatia - North Adriatic Sea, F Cyclades Supports F Aegean Sea, F Montenegro Supports A Tirana (*Cut*),

A Mt Tara Supports F Montenegro, A Skopje Supports A Salonika (*Cut*),

F South Adriatic Sea Supports F Montenegro, A Tirana Supports A Skopje, A Valona Supports A Skopje,

A Trieste - Croatia.

Bulgaria: Jack McHugh - jwmchughjr@gmail.com - A Athens Supports A Salonika,

F North Black Sea - South Black Sea, A Salonika Supports A Thrace, A Thrace Supports A Salonika (*Cut*).

Serbia: Andy York – wandrew88@gmail.com – A Arda Supports A Plovdiv - Thrace (*Cut*),

A Belgrade Supports A Hercegovina – Montenegro, A Bucharest - Dubruja (*Bounce*),

A Constantsa - Dubruja (*Bounce*), A Hercegovina - Montenegro (*Fails*), A Macedonia - Skopje (*Fails*),

A Nish Supports A Macedonia – Skopje, A Plovdiv - Thrace (*Fails*), A Sofia Supports A Macedonia – Skopje,

A Varna - Constantinople (*Bounce*).

Turkey: Heath Davis-Gardner – heathdavisgardner@gmail.com – F Aegean Sea Supports A Thrace,

A Constantinople - Arda (*Fails*), F Izmit - Constantinople (*Bounce*).

Now Proposed – A/B/S/T. Please vote. NVR=No

PRESS

Bulgaria, Sofia: This is William R Murrow reporting from Sofia, Bulgaria where the small but militaristic state of Bulgaria continues to hold out while being caught between the much larger Albanian Confederation under King Mog and Serbian Conglomerate under CEO Andy York.

"We Bulgarians always fight against the odds," said Bulgarian's leading General and major importer of peanut butter cups and flavored whiskey Fightin' FlapJack McBulgaria. "I don't know if that's a plus or a minus but we will never surrender."

Meanwhile at the front Serbia and Ottoman Empire continue to hold against Serbia with Albanian support--the question is how long will Albanian continue to help out of Serbia--but will King Mog eventually trust CEO York? It remains to be seen and how will this affect America? Probably not much at all except you'll get some really great Greek restaurants in America as it resettles Greek refugees.

Deadline for F 18 is September 11th at 7am My Time

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?

The Rules were in Eternal Sunshine #131, read them if you want a detailed explanation and examples. Basically, this is a guessing game, trying to guess the mystery person and their location (both chosen by me before the game started). Closest guess gets a public clue and notification they were the closest. Everyone else sees the clue but has to figure out on their own who was the closest that turn.

Turn 1