Eternal Sunshine #105

October 2015

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX  75149

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Welcome to the latest issue of Eternal Sunshine, the only zine that hates the publisher more than the readers.  Of course I hate myself more than ANYONE, so don’t take that to mean I actually like you.  Well, I like some of you, but not YOU.  The ones I like got a special copy that says I like them.  Since you didn’t get that copy, you know I hate you; just not as much as I hate me.  Got it?


The big news this issue is the start of the latest Eternal Sunshine List contest.  As I mentioned online a few weeks ago, we are going to be listing the best albums ever made, choosing by decade.  Check inside this issue for details, and make sure you participate.  In fact, solicit participation from non-readers too.  You don’t have to enjoy pushing wooden blocks around a map of World War One Europe to participate in the rest of the zine.  And the more voices in this compilation, the better the final summary list is going to be.


Nothing else special to report.  I still have some game openings, as does Richard Weiss.  Jack McHugh’s subzine missed this issue, but I imagine he’ll send one next time (or I’ll get his subzine in a day or two with some whining message about how my deadlines are confusing and it is all my fault).


Don’t forget my birthday is in October, and so is our anniversary, so start sending presents.  NOW!  DO IT!  OR ELSE! 


And happy birthday today (September 29th) to goof-troop Jim Boob Burgess…who is taking his time with The Abyssinian Prince for that reason among others.


That’s about it for now.  See you in November!



Hypothetical of the Month


Last month we gave you the following questions: #1 – You are out at a club to see a band.  You recognize a coworker there, and she is making out with a man you know not to be her husband.  Near the end of the show she notices you and she and her date hastily leave.  Do you say anything to her about this, or to her husband (who you have met a few times), or anyone else, or nobody?  And if you do say something, what do you say?


Melinda Holley - It's none of my business.  If the co-worker approaches me, I hold up the hand and tell her it's none of my business and I don't want to hear any stories or excuses.  I think cheating on someone sucks like a Hoover but I'm not the morals police.


Andy York - Much depends on my relationship with the co-worker - if all they are is a co-worker, and that is likely based on the note you've only met her husband a few times, nothing. They could have an open marriage, be in a trial separation, who knows - not really any of your business.


Andy Lischett - If she is a coworker that I don't know well I would acknowledge that I saw her but offer no opinions or advice. If she is a friend I would still offer no advice or opinion unless she asked. If her husband is a friend of mine the situation gets trickier. Then I would mention to her that her actions are putting me in an awkward position.


Jack McHugh -  Unless i was friends with her or husband outside of work i doubt i would tell anyone...if i was friends with her i probably wouldn't say anything directly...probably ask her about her marriage..if i were friends with her husband i'd give him a full report...if i were friends with both i'd go to her and tell her to be more discrete and while i won't rat her out, i won't lie for her either if her husband asks me about it......or maybe i'd just say "what the eff?" and just facebook it all...


Eric Grinnell - Extortion sounds awfully inviting.


Richard Weiss – I don’t say anything.


Rick Desper -  I think it would depend on a lot of things.  Seems unlikely I would say anything to her unless I knew her well.


Harold Zarr - I would definitely tell the co-workers husband, not her.  Let her deal with the consequences of her actions.  Best of all would be to take a picture of her and her "date" and send it to him!


#2 – You’re selling a used car which you have owned for nine years, and which has about 120,000 miles on it.  It had been leaking oil until recently, when you poured a bottle of “Stop Leak” into the oil supply.  Do you mention the oil leak to prospective buyers?


Melinda Holley - Yes.  Actually if it's been leaking oil for a while, I would've had it fixed by now.


Andy York - Very likely.


Andy Lischett - Yes, I mention it. The few times I've sold a car I've told prospective buyers of any problems that I was aware of.


Jack McHugh - Yes, I’d tell them so they could watch out for it...


Eric Grinnell - What part of sold "as is" do you not comprehend?


Richard Weiss – I do inform them about the leak and the resolution.


Rick Desper - Leaking oil?  Lots of cars leak oil.  Caveat emptor.  If asked I would say what happened, but really, this isn't a big deal. 


For Next Month (For the time being, I am often selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish..but “this could never happen” is a cop out answer:


#1 – You are shaken up in an auto accident.  A lawyer says he can get a large settlement if you exaggerate the extent of your injuries.  Do you cooperate? 


#2 – You are driving alone on a desolate highway at night, where even cell phone service is spotty at best.  A desperate person in a clown costume tries to flag you down.  Do you stop?



The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews


Sinister II – I was quite a fan of Sinister.  It was creepy, spooky, and had a great atmosphere.  There was a touch of humor, some very well-shot scenes, and everything felt dark and shadowy.  Bhughul was menacing and rarely-seen, the “home movies” were disturbing, and the clues of how things worked were interesting and had to be hunted down one by one.


Sinister II suffers the fate many sequels do: the secrets and known, and the excitement is gone.  So they try to make up for it by giving us more of the same: more Bhughul and more “home movies.”  But Bhughul works best when barely and rarely seen – he loses his sinister quality if he hangs around all the time.  And the home movies aren’t creepy any longer, just more graphic.


The plot shows a little imagination, but not enough.  The Deputy from Sinister (James Ransone) now understands the pattern that leads to the murders, so he is travelling around following clues and then trying to stop the next massacre from taking place.  Unfortunately, when he arrives to burn down a farmhouse and church he unexpectedly finds it is occupied by Courtney (Shannon Sossamon) and her two sons; they’re on the run from an abusive spouse/father.  So now the Deputy must try to find another way of breaking the chain of events.


There are still some jumps and scares, but the creepiness is really gone.  Children already taken by Bhughul try to draw the youngest son in by showing him their movies, but the kinds aren’t even slightly creepy.  And the home movies are just bloodier or more grotesque than in Sinister. 


If you haven’t seen the original, see it.  I loved it.  If you have, and can catch Sinister II on Netflix or something, and you can keep your expectations low, it won’t be a waste of time.  But don’t anticipate seeing anything as entertaining and clever as the first film.


Seen on DVD and Netflix – Blue Velvet (B+, always good to remember what fun a creepy David Lynch film can be, even if the Dennis Hopper character isn’t NEARLY as creepy as it was when the film first came out); Devil Dolls (D, just awful…awful); Not Safe for Work (B-, decent suspense film), Jessabelle (B-, good acting and the always-ominous inclusion of voodoo helped this be better than it otherwise would have been), Area 51 (C+, not a total waste of time but a terrible ending), Deep in the Darkness (C, a lot like the Dunwich stories but I guess it wasn’t all bad), Scream Park (C+, generally fun low-budget slasher stuff), The Changeling (B, I don’t think Angelina Jolie pulled off the second half of the film as well as the first), The Suicide Theory (B, this got terrible Netflix reviews but it was entertaining and not that obvious), Wait Until Dark (B+, a classic even if Hepburn’s hair is not at all flattering, and really distracting.  I wonder if they did it that way so her eyes wouldn’t react to hair in her peripheral vision?), A Long Way Down (B-, Pierce Brosnan isn’t that enjoyable as an older character, but everybody else was really good), The Bogeyman (C-, really The Boogeyman but the UK-made version calls it the Bogeyman; either way it has a few funny scenes but mostly the story is awful, the “frights” nowhere to be found and the dialogue nonsensical), Dismembering Christmas (B-, low budget indie horror with some fun death scenes but generally made little sense; I had been hoping for more); Timeslip (B, sort of a new spin on Shallow Grave but with some technology and plot twists).


Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column


Geoff Kemp - Thanks for the politics lesson, over here we hear very little about anything other than your presidential elections, And at the moment anyone would think there is only Donald Trump running as he seems to be getting most of the column space in the UK, Although think I have seen Hillary Clinton mentioned a couple of times, plus Jeb Bush although from reading between the lines there must be 20 or so candidates for the presidential nominations. All being either Republicans or Democrats except is Trump an independent?  I understand that those 20 or so need to be whittled down to 2, I each for Democrat and Republican but where does Trump fit in and is there any other party running for President this time?


[[Trump is seeking the Republican nomination, and after initially refusing to do so he now says he will not run as an independent if he does not get the nomination.  The Democrat and Republican candidates are the two main candidates (in modern political history).  Many smaller parties nominate someone, and if they do the work and get the proper signatures collected their candidates appear on most or all state ballots.  You can also run as an independent, meaning no party.  Everybody from the Green Party to the Communist Party to the Libertarians try to get their candidates on the ballots, and sometimes have candidates for other offices as well, at the Federal, State, and Local level.]]


The Best Albums in History - By Decade


It’s time for another Eternal Sunshine list contest.  This one came about when my friend Raina Rose asked “How is it that I have never heard Patti Smith’s album Horses until now?”  And that reminded me how fractured each individual’s music exposure is.  There are albums we swear by, or always try to turn other people on to, and still there are huge gaps in most people’s listening experience.  Where and when we grew up, what kind of radio we listened to, who our friends were, how many siblings we had, what our parents listened to: all of that and much more formed what music we treasure as the best or most important.


Likewise, there is a huge difference between today’s “download the single on an MP3” culture and the days of old when LP sales were the primary method of music distribution.  Certainly 45’s (the old two-sided singles) were important, but I want us to focus on albums as a whole.  Too often an LP would be three singles and 6 throw-away songs.  If a musical act put together an album you actually wanted to listen to all the way through, that was a major accomplishment.  And that album might be diverse enough to expand your wheelhouse a bit.  Or a particular artist or musician might have performed with many bands, and you started to search out more of their work to compare and contrast.  I still remember how my fondness for Cream (which I found through my brother Paul) and Derek and the Dominoes, plus the FM hits like Cocaine and I Shot the Sherriff, caused me to go back and buy old Yardbirds, John Mayall, and other albums where Eric Clapton played.  And then the Yardbirds helped me follow Jeff Beck’s career.  And on and on it goes.


So for this contest we’re going to break things down by decade of release.  The way it works is simple: each month you submit a list of five of the best albums from the decade we are working on.  They don’t have to be the most important historically, or the ones you would bring to a desert island with you.  And you can define “best” in any way you please: they hold up the best, they were the best when you first heard them, or anything else. 


We’ll do two turns per decade, amassing lists of 10 albums per decade overall.  Your comments about why you included a particular album are welcome, in as much detail as you want to give.  Or you can provide no reason at all, and just list the album.  After two turns, we’ll move on to the next decade.  Eventually we’ll have (hopefully) 10 albums from each participant for each decade, and when it is all over I will republish a final compilation showing what albums (if any) were picked by multiple people.


If you participate from start to finish (including if you mess a month but play catch up) you’ll be eligible for whatever prize I give out.  The prize winner will be chosen randomly, not on the basis of best list or anything like that.


Research is – of course – permitted.  But there are a few rules we’ll be using to disallow certain albums.  First of all, NO compilation or greatest hits albums are allowed.  No movie soundtracks are allowed.  I had considered also disallowing all “Live” albums, but I’m sort of torn on that one.  Any thoughts on that?  For the moment they will be permitted. 


So to get things started, we will be using the 60’s as the first decade.  That means the album was released sometime between 1960 and 1969.  Send in your first set of five, plus whatever comments you want to include.  And, of course, you can send in comments about other people’s lists after each turn is published.


Remember if you miss a turn, just catch up the next time.  If you want to submit the entire decade at once, that’s okay; I’ll hold your second five until the following issue.  But I prefer you not submit multiple decades at once.


I am going to be calling on some non-ES readers to jump in and participate, and I encourage you to do the same.  The more voices we have, the better the final lists will be!


So, let’s have your lists of 5 of the best albums from the 60’s! 


Deadline for the first list of 5 Albums is October 27th at 7:00am my time!


Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?


Turn 1


John David Galt:

Curt Schilling in Tokyo, Japan


Kevin Wilson:

Johann Sebastian Bach in Pretoria, South Africa


Andy York:

Doug Kent in Mesquite, Texas


Richard Weiss:

Oliver Cromwell in Brasilia, Brazil


Hank Alme:

George Clinton in Des Moines, Iowa


Rick Desper:

Prince in Minneapolis, Minnesota


Marc Ellinger:

Ronald Reagan in Berlin, Germany


Jim Burgess:

Pablo Picasso in Government Center, Boston, Massachusetts


Tom Howell:

Susan Glaspell in Schwyz, Switzerland 


Brendan Whyte:

Bill Cosby in Alcatraz, San Francisco Harbor, California


Jack McHugh:

Leonardo Di Vinici in Tokyo, Japan


Andy Lischett:

Albert Einstein in Madrid, Spain


Mark Firth:

Emil Zatopek in Christchurch, New Zealand


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me: I died before you were born.  Wrong nationality…but correct chromosome.


Turn 2


Jack McHugh:

Jesus Christ in San Paulo, Brazil


Andy York:

Doug Kent in Tangier, Morocco


Richard Weiss:

Niccolo di Bernardo dei Machiavelli in Lima, Peru


John David Galt:

Snoop Dogg in Marseille, France


Tom Howell:

Frances Sargent Osgood (born 18 Jun 1811, died 12 May 1850) in Zagreb,



Rick Desper:

Charles Darwin on Darwin Island, Galapagos


Hank Alme:

Tony Romo in Vientiane, Laos


Marc Ellinger:

Charlotte of Prussia (Alexandra Feodorovna) in Milan, Italy


Andy Lischett:

Anne Hathaway in Rome, Italy


Brendan Whyte:

Pope Innocent IV in Rome, Italy


Jim Burgess:

Marco Polo in Kabul, Afghanistan


Mark Firth:

John Bunyan in Hanoi, Vietnam


Kevin Wilson:

Anne Boleyn in Milan, Italy


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

You were born during my lifetime, but I died before you reached the pinnacle of your fame.


Turn 3


John David Galt:

Sir Francis Drake in Drake's Bay, California


Tom Howell:

Johannes Ockeghem in Manaus, Brazil


Andy York:

Gaius Caesar in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil


Andy Lischett:

Josephine Bonaparte in Sofia, Bulgaria


Richard Weiss:

Betsy Ross in Damascus, Syria


Rick Desper:

Simon Bolivar in Bogota, Colombia


Jim Burgess:

Christopher Columbus in Corunna, Spain


Jack McHugh:

Christopher Columbus in La Paz, Bolivia


Brendan Whyte:

Andrew Snowden on Mt Snowdon, Wales


Kevin Wilson:

Jane Austen in Florence, Italy


Mark Firth:

Douglas Fairbanks Jr. in Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei


Hank Alme:

Pope Pius III in Quito, Ecuador


Hint to Person Placed Closest to Me:

You were born about 300 years before I died.  We were born on different continents, but as subjects of the same nation’s rule.


Deadline for Round 4 is October 27th at 7am My Time

Excerpts from Timothy Beal’s “The Rise and Fall of the Bible”

Selected by Paul Milewski


Gentle readers, before you get out the greenest wood you can find to burn me at the stake as slowly as possible, let me point out that Beal in this book is lamenting the low level of biblical literacy.  As an example:  “Almost two-thirds of Americans can’t name at least five of the Ten Commandments.  Some of these people, moreover, are outspoken promoters of them.  Georgia representative Lynn Westmoreland, cosponsor of a bill to display the Ten Commandments in the chambers of the House of Representatives and Senate, could remember only three when Stephen Colbert asked him to recite them on The Colbert Report (Colbert, who I hear teaches Sunday school at his church, would probably have done considerably better).” [Page 31]

[Pages 59-61]


Nearly all translations depend to some degree on functional equivalencies in order to put ancient Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek figures of speech into sensible English.  A good example is the common Hebrew phrase for divine wrath imagined as God’s red-hot nose.  When God learns of Aaron’s golden-calf project, most translations have God tell Moses something like, “Now let me alone, so that my wrath may burn hot against them” (Exodus 32:10).  But “wrath” is a euphemism, of sorts.  The Hebrew word is aph, “nose.”  Here, as in many other places in the Bible, God’s nose burns hot.  One might take that as strictly figurative if it weren’t for the next story, in which God tucks Moses into a cleft in a rock and then walks past, allowing Moses to be behold the divine backside.


Given such English refiguring of God’s hot Hebrew nose, it’s not surprising to learn that another, more bawdy Hebraism is also actually lost in translation.  In Samuel and Kings, a male is sometimes referred to as, to quote the King James Version, “one that pisseth against a wall,” that is, who pees standing up.  That’s a very literal translation of the Hebrew phrase (mashtin beqir).  Consider the story of the future king David, on the run in the wilderness from King Saul, seeking food for his army from a rich man named Nabal (“fool”) in exchange for their protection of his estate.  When Nabal refuses, most modern translation, tuned to our delicate post-Victorian ears, have David vow to leave not one single “male” alive by morning.  But in the more graphic Hebrew, David declares that not one person will be pissing against the wall by morning.  The threat is not only bawdy but poetic: “against the wall,” baqir, sounds very like “morning,” boqer (read it aloud to hear for yourself: ad ha-boqer mashtin beqir).  David’s expression gets further literary play after Nabal’s wife, Abigail (soon to be one of David’s wives), convinces David to relent.  When she returns to nabal, she finds that he’s hosting a party and already very drunk.  So she waits till morning, “when the wine had gone out of him”—which could means after he was sober or after he had literally pissed it out—to tell him what almost happened.  At that news, he sinks into a depression and dies ten days later.  Clearly, the functional equivalent “male” loses a lot in translation.

[Page 142]


A half century late another distinguished committee of biblical scholars under the umbrella of he ecumenical National Council of Churches of Christ produced a revision of the Revised Bible, called the Revised Standard Version (New Testament only in 1946; complete Bible in 1952).  It, too, drew criticism from fundamentalists and soon came to be seen as the flagship of modern liberalism.  One particular bone of contention was its translation of Isaiah 7:14.  “Behold, a young woman [Hebrew almah] will conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”  Other versions had invariably translated almah “virgin” to conform with the Gospel of Matthew, which quotes this verse in reference to the Virgin Birth of Jesus.  In fact, the Revised Standard Version translation is correct.  The Hebrew for “virgin” is betulah, not almah.  But Matthew is quoting from the Greek Septuagint, which uses parthenos, which does indeed mean “virgin.”  Such details were clearly too complicated for many critics, who were scandalized by what appeared to be a denial of the Virgin Birth.  Martin Luther Hux, a Baptist minister from North Carolina, went so far as to burn that page, declaring the Revised Standard Version “a master stroke of Satan.”  For many, this translation soon came to represent all that was wrong with modern liberal Christianity and ecumenism.



By Larry Peery

OK, the game is on. The Powers have been assigned. You’ve got Germany, Austria, Russia or Turkey. What do you do next? Before you panic and rush off to begin your helter-skelter diplomacy with your three neighbors take a deep breath; and remember your Dip&dip history.

The Realists, the Idealists, and those in the moderate middle (e.g. the Wishy-Washy) are the three group names given to most American presidents with Theodore Roosevelt as the ultimate Realist, Woodrow Wilson as the sole Idealist, and Barack Obama as “the Moderate Middle, Wishy-Washy, or None-of-the-Above;” depending on how you look at him. What would they do in your shoes?

The Three Schools of Thought:

The Edi Birsan School (Realists)

 1) Territorial Aggrandizement Wing   Victor Hugo or

“The aggrandizement which they have brought to the nineteenth century has not Waterloo as its source. “
Les Miserables  Victor Hugo

2)  Territorial Imperative Wing  Robert Ardrey  vs.

“The dog barking at you from behind his master's fence acts for a motive indistinguishable from that of his master when the fence was built.”

The Territorial Imperative: A Personal Inquiry Into the Animals Origins of Property and Nations. Robert Ardrey

The Allan B. Calhamer School (Idealists)

1) “Because it was there”  Wing or Allan B. Calhamer, from  George Mallory  or
George Mallory (1886 – 1924) was a Himalayan mountain climber who famously perished on Mount Everest in 1924

From an interview, "Climbing Mount Everest is work for Supermen", The New York Times (18 March 1923); on being asked why he wanted to climb Mount Everest:

"Why did you want to climb Mount Everest?" This question was asked of George Leigh Mallory, who was with both expeditions toward the summit of the world’s highest mountain, in 1921 and 1922, and who is now in New York. He plans to go again in 1924, and he gave as the reason for persisting in these repeated attempts to reach the top, "Because it's there."

2)) “It is an iron law of politics that power will fill a vacuum.” Wing or Allan Calhamer, from Yahuti  (Gary Brosch)

Yahuti: The Man Who Is Not Here, With Hands Upon Our Shoulder, Speaking in Our Ear  by Gary Brosch, 2004

The Old Farts’ School ( Moderate Middle aka Wishy-Washy)

1) ”What’s Mine is Mine, What’s yours is negotiable.”  Wing Credited to John F. Kennedy in his 1961 Address to the American people on Berlin. (Sometimes credited to Hitler or Stalin.) or

2) “What if we do this?”  Right Wing Yann Clouet vs. “Better yet, what if we do this?” Wrong Wing Toby Harris or

3)  “When it’s all said and done Diplomacy is just a game of Monopoly with different kinds of pieces.”  Wing Larry Peery

Just keep in mind that in Diplomacy a Great Power, a medium-sized state, a mini-state or even a non-state can become a no-state in no time.

By history I mean anything in the last thousand years or so, although you could go back even further. Yes, it’s a daunting task --- there have been more wars fought in, around and over The Balkans than any other place in time or space, so let’s get to it.

Remember that there are Great Forces, as well as Great and Minor Powers, at work here. Christians vs. Muslims, Nations (e.g. ethnic groups) vs. Nations, States vs. States (e.g. political creations based on geographical considerations that may or may not have any connection to reality), and Rich vs. Poor (forget the middle-class, it doesn’t exist anymore in this time or space, even if it doesn’t know it yet).

A good  starting place is The Crusades (1096 – 1456). Pay particular attention to the infamous “Children’s’ Crusade” of 1212. Compare it to what’s happening in The Balkans as you read this; and remember “Where there are refugees it is always the children who suffer most.”

Then consider all the wars between the Byzantium Empire (333 – 1453) and its successor the Ottoman Empire (1453 – 1922) and then the wars between the Ottomans and  Europeans, mostly fought in The Balkans and right up to the Siege of Vienna (1529).

The wars between the Byzantines (and their allies) and the Ottomans (who didn’t seem to attract many allies) began with the rise of the Ottomans in 1265, a push-back by Byzantium in 1328, the Balkan invasion and civil war that began in 1341, a civil war In Byzantium that began in 1371 and lasted for 23 years, another 30 years of fighting between Byzantium and the Ottomans, and the final Ottoman push from 1424 to 1453 and the Fall of Constantinople.

Between 1453 and 1922 it was the Ottomans vs. the European Great Powers, the European and regional Mid-sized states, the minor states, and the sub-states in many different combinations.

Even as the war between Byzantium and the Ottomans raged  across Southeast Europe; the Bulgarians and then the Serbs began their own wars to keep the Ottomans out of The Balkans during the 13th and 14th century. The Ottomans continued to push ahead in the Balkans and into Austria; a campaign that ended in their Siege of Vienna in 1529. After that the Ottoman-Habsburg wars continued as more and more European countries got involved in the conflicts that culminated in the Great Turkish War of the late 1600s.
Things began to change with the rise of autonomous or nearly autonomous middle-sized and minor states, as well as various sub-units that could play off the other three groups against each other.

This period was followed by insurrections from Christian peoples under Ottoman subjugation, culminating in the Serbian revolution (1804–1817) and the  Greek War of Independence 1821–1832). This occurred in tandem with the Russo-Turkish Wars ( 12 wars between 1568 – 1918) and the Polish-Ottoman Wars ( 8 wars between1485 – 1699), which rolled back much of the remaining Ottoman”empire” in Europe. The final pushback against Ottoman control came with the signing of the Treaty of Severes at the close of World War I.

There remained some residual conflict following The Great War, with Greece expressing discontent at its newly drawn borders and the Armenian people remaining in a state of conflict with the Turks following the ravages of the 1915-1918 Armenian Genocide. While the Treaty of Severes granted full Armenian sovereignty, there was outrage that they were not granted land access to the Black Sea per the earlier promises of President Wilson. Turkey had difficulty obeying some of the precepts outlined in the Treaty of Sevres, and broke its cease-fire against the Armenians almost immediately. This resulted in Turkey forcibly reclaiming some of its lost territory, and a weakened Armenia falling easily to Russian/Soviet occupation. Modern-day Turkish and Armenian borders were established during the 1921 Treaty of Moscow, with many contemporary Armenians still holding the territorial limitations to be illegitimate.

All in all during this period there were over 20 major and scores of minor wars fought over a period of hundreds of years that involved just about every religious, ethnic, political, geographic and economic faction in the area. It’s still going on today, only more non-violently (so far).

The First Crimean War of 1853 – 1856 between Ottomans and Russians, French, British and Sardinia.
WWI of 1914 – 1918 involved  nearly everybody at some point.

Post WWI wars: Break-up of Ottoman Empire, Balkan Independence, Russian Revolution

WWII of 1939 – 1945 involved Germany (and Austria) and Italy vs. just about everybody.

The Cold War included, among others,  Hungary vs. the Russians in 1956, Czechoslovakia vs. WTO in 1968,  Poland/Solidarity  (Russians refused to directly intervene militarily and let their puppets in Poland do their dirty work.) in 1980-1981,  and the fall of The Wall/Iron Curtain  in 1989.

As the Soviet Union, the Warsaw Pact and various  medium and minor states begin to collapse the other Big Powers pursued a policy of  non-involvement,  including the refusal to use force.

The break-up of Yugoslavia, a moderate-sized state, in 1991-1992 created 6 or 7 minor  republics and various sub-units that became the causes of various mini-wars between the various minor states.
The Ice War 2009 – Present Russia vs. 5 minor states or sub-units in the Caucasus.

The Second Crimean War of 2014  condensed hundreds of years of history down to a current conflict between what was then part of Russia, then part of Ukraine 1954 – 1991 as part of USSR, then part of the independent Ukraine; and now involves a Great Power. a medium-sized state, and a sub-unit

The Refugees War 2014 – 2015 is a religion, ethnic, political, economic (The big question: which is more important freedom or economic gain?) non-violent conflict (so far) that involves multiple moderate-sized states, multiple mini-states, minor states and sub-units. In this case the religious and economic issues are more important than ethnic, political (although some would say the quest for “freedom” is more important than religious issues), ethnic, geographical and other issues.

As Dippers or dippers

How do we organize it all? How do we intellectually or conceptionally bring order into a chaos that exists in reality?

Look at a time period, the map, the players, and create your own scenario, but remember it isn’t worth the paper it’s drawn on.

The lesson to be drawn from all this is simple: there are many ways to fail in a Balkans conflict, but there are few ways to be successful.

ZERO SUM3    Subzine to Eternal Sunshine,  Issue 7   September 23, 2015


Published by Richard Weiss. 


GM Musings:


I made a mistake.  In Aldrich Ames, the first Intimate Dip game, Austria started with three Armies.  No fleets.  It was not until orders for Fall 1901 that one of the players pointed it out to me.  I’ve not published house rules.  Suffice it to say that my house rule is, “I made a mistake.  My ruling about the mistake is final.”  Doug reminded me that general house rules for zines are that an error not noticed by the next deadline stands.  So be it.  Three Army Austria.


The USA Presidential Primaries are heating up.  Rick Perry has dropped out.  Walker has gone into suspense and asked other marginal candidates to drop out also.  The second Republican Debate took place, with all pundits ascribing the big winner to be Carly Fiorina.  Hillary was dropping but might be picking up again.  Biden is in grief paralysis.  Sanders has no political endorsements, including none from Vermont.  He may not even be eligible for some primaries if he does not declare himself a Democrat in Vermont.  New Hampshire is reportedly such a state. 


NFL has started.  I am not in a Fantasy League, luckily for me, which means I can go back to paying minimal attention – only enough to mumble stuff at the bar if someone brings up something and to nod or shake my head at the water cooler if I ever get to work.


I am back in CA, but as you read this will probably be in Vermont before heading to the Maritime Provinces and then to the oldest city in North America – Quebec.  I’ve never been to either, despite growing up a few stone throws away. 


For those of you reading who are not American, let me explain what a Democracy is.  In a Democracy, the majority of votes wins, unless you are Congress and enact rules that alter what it takes to win or lose.  Congress has.  In Congress, you might need 60% or 67% of the votes to win.  Or, you can change the vote so that it is a negative vote, then you need a super majority negative vote to lose, or only 33% to win. 


This is germane to the agreement the Democrats and the Republicans came to regarding the Iran Agreement.  Politicians wanted to vote against the Agreement and have it come into effect anyway.  Even those who truly want to vote no are not being transparent about the rules they accepted.  Strange days indeed.


If any of you readers are from England or the former Empire, perhaps you can explain a monarchy as quickly. 


ZeroSumCubed deadline for Issue 8 is THE SUNDAY BEFORE Doug’s deadline.  Deadline is October 25, 2015, a Sunday at 8 AM California time.




  1. Intimate Dip 1 Week Deadlines Only Need Two More

A great two-person variant.  The rules are printed in Issue 1 and Issue 2. 

Takes two.  Anyone interested in a fast game?

Signed up:


  1. The Cathy and Pete Gaughan Memorial Snowball Fighting Game. 

For those who have played, this is a frivolous game of runny around the yard throwing various types of snowballs at whomever, sometimes running into the house to have hot chocolate with Mommy, and sometimes making all the snow and icicles on the roof fall down on an unsuspecting kiddo. 


Rules and map are in this issue. The game has started.


  1. Nuclear Yuppy Dip now changed to The Pope Is A Socialist


Game requires seven players.


Signed up: Jim Burgess, John David Galt, Doug Kent, Jack McHugh, Mark Firth (?)


  1. 2016 Republican and Democratic Presidential Candidate Bourse


Playing: Richard Weiss, Hugh Polley, Mark Firth, Jack McHugh, and John David Galt


Anyone can join at any time. 


Rules in previous issues of ZeroSumCubed.  With some amendments, henceforth called the Bill of Rights:


First Amendment:  covered in breaking out a candidate from “Other,” share values stay the same for each.  Shares removed decrease value.  Shares kept do not increase value.


Second Amendment: When a candidate declares he or she is exiting the campaign, the stock can no longer be bought or sold.  Players’ shares remain frozen, in the unlikely chance that the candidate becomes the nominee at the convention.  I made this amendment before Scott Walker put his campaign into suspense, but not in time to have it take effect this month.  “Suspense” is exiting.

            The second amendment does not apply to Biden, Warren, and non-declared Others.  If they never declare, stock can be bought and sold up until the time the Convention nominates a Presidential candidate.  Although, if a candidate has a majority of the delegates before the convention, see the Fourth Amendment.


Third Amendment: When a candidate does not participate in the Debate (or the Varsity Debate), stock value decreases by 10%.  This would have applied to Graham and Jindal this time and could apply to Warren and Biden soon. 


Fourth Amendment:  When and if a candidate has received a majority of the delegates as pledged to him or her, no stock transactions can occur in that Party.



Rules:  We don’t need no stinking rules.

A game of open participation.  I list a category and seven items in the category.  Whoever wants to completes as many of the categories as he or she wishes to.  In addition, each entrant enters his or her own item fitting within the category and provides a name for that as well.  Each person’s “special entity” will likely be different. No scoring. 


Press is encouraged.   This is more about the press than the game.

Suggestions for future categories is encouraged. 




All Orders Due Sunday 25 October 2015 by 8 AM CA time. 


Aldrich Ames  Intimate Diplomacy  Germany (Jack McHugh) vs.  England (Geoff Kemp)


Standing in Winter 1901 (Neutral Countries showing as the 1902 Controller)

Middle Europe (ME), AKA Jack McHugh


F Swe

A Hol

A Mun

Build F Kie

Build F Ber



A Pru
F(Rum)   (Disbanded)



A Pie

A Tus




F Con

A Bul-

A Sev

Build F Ank

Build F Smy


MAC EE Jelly Jelly, AKA Geoff Kemp

F Den
A Bel

Build F London

Build F Edinburgh


A War

A Boh

A Tyr

Build F Tri

Winter 1901 SC

Austria (Neutral): Budapest, Trieste, Vienna, + Warsaw = 4,

England (Mac EE Jelly): Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Belgium, Denmark = 5,

France (Neutral): Brest, Marseilles, Paris = 3

Germany (Jack): Berlin, Kiel, Munich, + Swe, + Hol = 5,

Italy (Neutral): Naples, Rome, Venice = 3

Russia (Neutral): Moscow, St. Petersburg, Rum = 3,

Turkey (Neutral): Ankara, Constantinople, Smyrna, Bul, Sev = 5

Neutrals: Greece, Norway, Portugal, Serbia, Spain, Tunis = 6



England had 1 to carryover and earned 5 more for the 5 SCs of its home country, so has 6. 

Germany had 15 credits and earned 5 more so has 20 credits.


                                             Austria France   Italy       Russia   Turkey

England Bids                      5             0             0             1             0

Germany Bids                    2             4             1             6             1


England had 6 and spent 5, so has 1 to carryover.

Germany had 20 and spent 12, so has 8 to carryover.


Orders due 8 AM CA time, Sunday October 25, 2015.  Orders are for Spring 1902 moves.  If both submit earlier, likely earlier adjudication.



Guy Burgess  Intimate Diplomacy (AKA: Puddle Jumper)

France (Doug Kent) vs. England (Mark Firth)


Mark sent notice that he has a medical excuse for not being able to participate and expects that to be lifted before the next issue.  The turn is held.  I wish him, as I’m sure we all do, a complete and speedy recovery. 


Pre-Spring 1901 Bids

Country           France England

Austria            2                      1

Germany         6                      7

Italy                 2                      3

Russia 5                      3

Turkey 1                      0


Fall 1901 Orders



A Serbia

F Trieste

A Bohemia



F English Channel

A Burgundy

A Gascony



A St Petersburg

F Rumania

F Gulf of Bothnia

A Silesia



F Black Sea

A Smyrna

A Bulgaria




F London

F Edinburgh

A Liverpool



F Kiel

A Berlin 

A Munich



A Venice

A Rome

F Naples



Cash: England had 20, spent 10 = 10. 

France had 20, spent 8 = 12. 


                                             Austria Germany              Italy       Russia   Turkey

England Bids                     

France Bids                       


No Map.  No change since last issue and the issue before that.


By Popular Vote (AKA Sorta By Popular Demand)

Unlimited entrants.  Third round of possibly regular/erratic/only SBPD.  Send your favorite names. 





Round 3



Round 3

Person Names





Boy O





Peter “Painless” Potter

Lev M. White



Don Crapp


Don D. Estamos

Peery Blah

Police Officer

Offissa Pupp

Will Singh


Rod Carew & Kirby Pucket

Ure Not & I. M. Mee. 





Reedham & Wheip




Jerry Cho Walls



For Round 4

Franchise Stores

Round 4




Knife Sharpening

Sewer Cleaner


Board Games

Brew Pub

Free Choice





Press:  Andy: “For a boys name and a girls name I'm just going with names I like. I have no kids so have named only dogs and cats. Three years ago Carol and I got a new puppy and Carol said I could name him. She regretted that when I was watching television and a Zorro movie came on. "Carol," I called to the kitchen. "The new dog is “Antonio Banderas.”  A good name for a toy poodle. Two months ago we got an additional toy poodle and Carol named him Cody, over my objections. I wanted Hussein.”


GM: I got to agree on first and last names.  At birth, absent middle names, I got to choose both of those.  Daughter received Mother in law’s first name.  Son received Father-in-laws.  Wife eventually got over it.


GM:  I wished I’d entered a name for “Drive.”  It woulda been “Drinken


Entries Due 25 October 2015, 8 AM CA time.



Where In The World Is Kendo Nagasaki in Doug Kent’s House


Round 1



Mark Firth



John Galt

David Beckham

Delhi, India

Doug Kent

Could not find

Kevin Wilson

Did not submit

Andy Lischett

Little Miss Muffet

1237 Kurdsan Way

Jim Burgess

Toshiro Mifune

Mt. Fuji

Andy York

Richard Weiss



Gender is correct.  I died before s/he was “born. “



Round 2



John Galt

Joan of Arc

Memphis, TN

Doug Kent

Teddy Roosevelt

London Bridge

Andy York

George Washington


Clue:  There is something about your name that relates to my fame.  We were born on the same continent.


Next guesses due before  8 AM CA time, Sunday 25 October 2015.



“When a campaign still has months remaining, prediction markets — in which traders bet on event outcomes — have a substantially better record than polls at pointing to the eventual nominee. But the markets do have at least one weakness: They sometimes exaggerate the chances of unusual or long-shot candidates, like Donald Trump, perhaps because a few passionate traders can affect prices.” (retrieved 9/20/2015)


The first paste is what each of us did.:


The next paste is what all players’ holdings are as of 23 September2015.



The final paste is what the total sells and buys have been for each candidate to date and what the current stock value is. Please note the value dates are wrong. 



For October only, all may sell up to 200 shares of any Republican stock.  Republican only.  Please read the Amendments to the rules on Page 1 of ZSCubed.  They are summarized below.  Selling extra shares of Republican stock could be used in a variety of ways, including divesting potential losers.


(Mark has a medical issue that has precluded his participating.  If he submits orders by the October deadline, he can sell 300 shares of Republican stock and 200 shares of Democratic stock.)


The Amendments to the rules on Page 1 of ZSCubed include that any candidate who does not participate in a televised debate (or for the Republicans, with the “Varsity”) stock value tumbles 10%.  Also, for any candidate who withdraws or suspends his or her candidacy, the stock is frozen.  No one can buy or sell the stock.  This will go into effect  AFTER the October orders.


For next round on the Republican side, I have no Other to decide, I am selling 147 Walker and 53 Paul. I’m using 33% of my post sale assets to buy Rubio, 33% Bush and 33% to buy Other.  Any odd share goes to Other.  On the Dem side, I’m selling 100 shares of Warren and buying 50% Biden and 50% Clinton with odd share to that I can afford, and if both, then to Biden.


For next round, for any who own Other in the Republican primary, before buying and selling, indicate whether you want your Other shares to go to Fiorina or remain in Other.  Similary to splitting out Trump, value will decrease in the candidate (Fiorina or Other) not chosen.  Then indicate your puts and calls.


Orders for the Presidential Bourses are due 8 AM CA Time, Sunday 25 October 2015.



The Cathy and Pete Gaughan Memorial Snowball Fighting Game. 

Signed up: Jim Burgess; Doug Kent, Jack McHugh, Mark Firth, John David Galt, and Andy York.  So, Away we go. 


I asked for nommes d’ball and preferred starting spots.  The rules indicate random starting spots.  Those three persons who did not send names and start spots, were randomly assigned to spots. 


Jim Burgess: JB, starts G3

John David Galt: Brett Favre, starts R4

Mark Firth: MF, starts G11

Doug Kent: Jack Frost, starts R10

Jack McHugh: JM, starts M9

Andy York: Teddy Wayne, starts P2


Game is always open to new players.  Get your thermals, snow pants, boots, microfiber shirts, snow jacket, mittens, scarf, ear muffs, and hat on.  Or have your Mommy help you and come on over for some snow ball fighting fun!  Hot chocolate when you wimp out. 


Rules and empty map are on the next four pages, followed by a map with players.  Each player starts with two simple snowballs.


Anyone who decides to join in the fracas, also send your nomme d’ball and your preferred starting location.  After the game starts, new players start at the edge of the shed.  Players can select which side, or GM decides randomly. 


I’m happy Doug sent the map as part of Perelandra.  Very appropriate, given this game is named for the pubber of Perelandra. 


Orders for Snowball Fighting are due 8 AM CA Time, Sunday 20 September 2015.












Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: Harold Zarr, need six more.

Modern Diplomacy (Black Press): Rules in this issue.  Ten-player variant.  No planes will be used, just armies and fleets.  Signed up: Jack McHugh, Jim Burgess, John David Galt, Geoff Kemp, Harold Zarr.  Needs five more.

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki: Rules in issue #102.  Send in your guesses.  Prize for the winner?  Probably!  (Don’t forget to play in Richard Weiss’ subzine too!)

Hypothetical Questions: Just send in answers.  Anybody can play at any time, just takes participation.

By Popular Demand: Join at any time.  Send in your answers!  A prize for the winner!

Multiple Openings in Richard Weiss’ subzine – check them out NOW!!

Coming Soon – Colonia VII?  Deviant Diplomacy?  Kremlin?  Make a suggestion or express interest!

Eternal Sunshine Game Section


Diplomacy, “Milk and Trash”, 2015A, F 03


Austria (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” F Aegean Sea Supports A Serbia - Bulgaria (*Cut*),

 A Budapest - Rumania (*Fails*), A Serbia – Bulgaria, A Trieste – Vienna, A Vienna - Bohemia.

England (Mark Firth – mark.r.firth “of” F English Channel Supports A Picardy – Belgium

 (*Void*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Portugal (*Fails*), F North Sea – Denmark, A St Petersburg - Moscow.

France (Paul Milewskipaul.milewski “of” F Brest - Picardy (*Bounce*),

 F Gascony - Spain(nc), F Liverpool Hold, A Picardy – Paris, A Portugal Hold.

Germany (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” F Baltic Sea - Gulf of Bothnia,

 A Belgium - Picardy (*Bounce*), A Burgundy – Marseilles, F Holland - Belgium (*Fails*), A Munich – Burgundy,

 F Sweden Supports F Baltic Sea - Gulf of Bothnia.

Italy (John Biehljerbil “of” A Greece Supports A Serbia – Bulgaria,

 F Ionian Sea - Eastern Mediterranean, A Tyrolia – Piedmont, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Gulf of Lyon.

Russia (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” F Gulf of Bothnia - St Petersburg(sc), F Rumania Hold,

 A Ukraine Supports F Rumania, A Warsaw - Galicia.

Turkey (John David Galt – jdg “of” A Ankara – Constantinople,

 A Bulgaria Supports F Rumania (*Disbanded*), F Smyrna - Aegean Sea (*Fails*), A Syria - Smyrna (*Fails*).


Now Proposed – Concession to France.  Please vote.  NVR=No.

Deadline for W 03/S 04 is October 27th at 7am my time




Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Bulgaria, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna=5, Even

England:          Denmark, Edinburgh, London, Moscow, Norway=5, Build 1

France:            Brest, Liverpool, Paris, Portugal, Spain=5, Even

Germany:         Belgium, Berlin, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Sweden=7, Build 1

Italy:                Greece, Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice=5, Build 1

Russia:             Rumania, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Warsaw=4, Even

Turkey:            Ankara, Constantinople, Smyrna=3, Even




St. Petersburg Times: We announce the arrival of Her Majesty's Government in Exile!  Soon to visit a continent near YOU!


The Other Kaiser: OK, I'm ready, throw me the hockey ball!


Rome (Apr 1, 1903): King Giovanni the Short realized he was short, "We must place all our eggs into one basket".


GERMAN BOOB to RUSSIAN BLIND: Sorry to hear about your E-Mail crash, unfortunately it doesn't really change the difficult situation between our two great nations.  Feel free to give another idea a try...


BURGESS to BIEHL: Where's your great press, I was really enjoying it.


GERMANY to FRANCE: Sorry, that was a GREAT note you wrote, really!!!  But unfortunately it didn't change my calculation for moving forward.  I look forward to a fun jousting!


BOOB to DOUGIE BOY: Boy, am I lame in this game, especially with the press!


GM – Boob: I was going to say this is about your standard quality of play and press.  So that means I agree with you.

Black Press Gunboat, “Noah’s Titanic”, 2015Arb32, W 02/S 03

Austria: Build A Vienna.. A Budapest Supports A Bulgaria – Rumania, A Bulgaria – Rumania,

 F Greece - Bulgaria(sc),  A Vienna - Galicia.

England: Build F Liverpool.. F English Channel Supports A Picardy – Brest, F Liverpool - Irish Sea,

 F North Sea – Norway, F Norway - St Petersburg(nc), A Picardy - Brest.

France: Build A Marseilles.. F Brest Supports A Paris - Picardy (*Disbanded*), A Marseilles – Burgundy,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports A Paris - Picardy (*Fails*), A Paris – Picardy, A Spain - Gascony.

Germany: Build F Kiel.. F Baltic Sea – Sweden, A Berlin Supports A Munich – Silesia, F Kiel – Denmark,

 A Munich – Silesia, A Ruhr – Holland, F Sweden - Skagerrak.

Italy: Build F Naples.. F Aegean Sea Supports F Naples - Ionian Sea, F Ionian Sea - Adriatic Sea,

 F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Trieste Supports A Serbia, A Venice Supports A Trieste.

Russia: Retreat A Rumania – Serbia, Disband F Sweden.. Build A Warsaw.. A Moscow – Warsaw, A Serbia Hold,

 F Sevastopol - Rumania (*Disbanded*), A Silesia - Munich (*Dislodged*, retreat to Bohemia or OTB),

 A Warsaw - Prussia.

Turkey: A Albania - Serbia (*Fails*), A Armenia – Sevastopol, F Black Sea Supports A Armenia – Sevastopol,

 A Rumania Supports A Armenia - Sevastopol (*Dislodged*, retreat to Ukraine or OTB).


The original Russia returned.

Deadline for F 03 will be October 27th at 7am My Time




Russia to All: Crush Germany! Crush Turkey!


Russia to Germany: Kiss my fat Babuschka Ass.


Russia to England: Germany has two fleets. When will he build his third?  Please do not listen to him. The more black plague there is on the board  the worse it will be for all of us.


Russia to England and France: Can you both please co-operate versus Germany just a little?


Russia in Serbia: Hi fellow Slav brothers.


Russia to Italy & Austria: You may be assured I will do what I can versus Sultan Perfidious, the heathen scum.


Germany to Russia: I trust that you will have learned your lesson.  Leave my territory peacefully and no further problems shall exist between us.  A failure to do so will result in your destruction.


Russia to England: I sure hope you stay out of StP. Look at Germany, already he has two fleets. Your next on his list.


Russia to Germany: You started this - you could have let me have Swe but No you F me, for no reason, & then expect me to say OK? FY!


Russia to Turkey: You are another FA, I am non-aggressive so you stab me cause there's a moron in Aus. You & Ger make a real Anus pair.


Russia to Aus & Ita: Kill Tur, if you don't, you fall to him.


Russia to Fra & Eng: Kill Ger or you will fall to him.


Russia to all: I will do everything possible to oppose Ger & Tur, remember that.


USA to Europe: Eliminate Ger & Tur.


Pope to Archduke: Your plan to be my advanced guard is going pretty well I'd say. There may be an indulgence or two in this for you.


Archduke to Pope: I don't need no stinking indulgences. My record speaks for itself.


Russia to Germany: No need for further conflict? Yeah, right. You can't just neuter me and expect me to forgive and forget.


Kaiser - Tsar: Why not?


Russia to Germany: Look pal, I don't even like your press. Then there are all the attacks on me. I would say you have some lumps comin'. Ya feel me?


Kaiser - Tsar: I have no idea what you are talking about. But, if that's the way you feel, my troops are marching to Sevastopol--you'll feel that soon enough.


GM to Germany: After thinking about it, I've decided I'm going to shift some pieces for you. You deserve it.


England to GM: Wait a sec. That's not fair!


GM to England: You know what? Yer just about on me last nerve. I'm even typin in pirate. You might be seein yer fleets changin ta armies.


England to GM: That won't work at all, old boy. After all, my fleets are at sea.


GM to England: Arrr matey, they'll be walkin the plank now!


Pope Pluvius - Balkans: I am a friend to all. Now, who would be mine?


Italy - France: Stick with it. No worries from this angle.

By Popular Demand


The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer.  Your score for this answer will be doubled.  In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.  Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds, with the 10th round being worth double points.  A prize will be awarded to the winner.  Research is permitted, but cooperation or collusion between players is not!


Round 3 Categories


1.    A button found on a calculator.

2.    A button found on a car radio.

3.    A button found on a microwave oven.

4.    A button found on a smartphone.

5.    A button found in an elevator.


Poor Allison scores the lowly 13, while Eric Grinnell grabs the high 47 out of a possible 55.


Comments By Category


Calculator – Dane Maslen “Originally I was going to answer '+' but then decided that there was probably no real reason to prefer it to '-', '*' or '/'.  I then switched to '=' and wondered for a while whether 'CLEAR' would be a better bet.  Then I finally came up with an answer for category 2 and decided it would be the best answer here too.”  Jim Burgess “You could go lots of ways on this, the one unique button is the "C" for clear.... I thought about + or - or =, but that's three choices....”


Radio – Jim Burgess “FM, this seems to call for FM/AM best, and FM is more popular.”


Microwave – [[GM Note – I was GOING to say Start and Cook were the same thing, but I looked at my microwave and it has both a Start button and a Cook button.  So in at least some cases they are different, which means they are different.  Pphpht!]]  Andy Lischett “I would have to go downstairs to check, but I'm pretty sure that the microwave does not have a "4" button.    Yikes! My microwave DOES have a "4" button. “


Phone – Dane Maslen “I realize that the concept of using a phone to make a phone call rather than navigate, access the internet or take photos is a terribly old-fashioned idea.”


Elevator – Dane Maslen “Assuming I'm right in remembering that you can't count your floors, this ought to be your equivalent of 'G'.”  Jim Burgess “You have an interpretation issue as there are different interpretations of this in Europe vs. the US.  And is "1" the same as Ground?  It should be, but you'll probably say it is different.”  [[There is no interpretation needed.  The category is “a button found on an elevator.”  A button that says G on one elevator may *do* the same thing as a button that says 1 on another but they are different buttons.  Especially since on some elevators there have both a G and a 1.]]


Round 4 Categories – Don’t Forget to Choose a Joker Category (Double Points)


1.    Something associated with Halloween.

2.    A brand of scotch.

3.    A color of Post-It Note besides yellow.

4.    Something that is sold in a bottle.

5.    A cable television network.


Deadline for Round 4 is October 27th at 7am My Time


General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:  October 27th, 2015 at 7:00am my time. Hope to See You Then!