Eternal Sunshine #32

September 2009

By Douglas Kent, 11111 Woodmeadow Pkwy #2327, Dallas, TX 75228

Email: doug of or diplomacyworld of

On the web at – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at  Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at  Also remember to check out for official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his available merchandise!  Links to many of the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button in the main menu of the Whining Kent Pigs website.  Or go to where women can learn all the secrets of how a man’s mind works, and why they act the way they do.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata.  We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at

Quote Of The Month“Are we like couples you see in restaurants? Are we the dining dead?” (Joel in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)



Quick HTML Links:


Front Page

Halfway Home at the Halfway House Part Eight

I’m No Edward Norton Part Two

Football Prediction Contest

Hypothetical of the Month

The Dining Dead – The Eternal Sunshine Movie Review Section

Meet Me in Montauk – The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column

Brain Farts #10 by Jack McHugh

An Alternative to the Standard Endgame Report by Paul Milewski

Out of the WAY #11 by W. Andrew York

Game Openings

Game Starts

Game Results



Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine currently published by a convicted felon (I think…you never can tell about those things).  So, another month come and gone, and we’re ready for September.  Too bad there isn’t much difference down here in Texas.  I really need to get Heather up to New England for a true New England Fall.  The colors, and breezes, the whole thing…I miss it terribly, even though for me it was also somewhat depressing at the same time.  We won’t make it this year, but I plan on next year (I hope).  I’m still trying to figure out if we can go up to Staten Island to visit family for Thanksgiving.  Again, if not this year, next I hope.  September 1st I come off my Supervised Release status, which means I am a free man again, and can travel wherever without prior permission.  I’ve never been turned down for permission though…because we only asked once, when we took out honeymoon, and that was still here in Texas (Jefferson).  Actually we want to go back there for Halloween, but I don’t know if work or Heather’s school schedule will permit it.


Heather finished up a few classes this summer, getting all A’s of course.  You’d think she was near failure they way she kills herself before every test, but that’s just the way Heather is.  She likes to over-prepare, and I can relate to that.  Then again, in High School, I didn’t prepare at all.  I just went (sometimes).  I get a lot more nostalgic about those days since I started reconnecting with High School friends on Facebook.  Of course I spend too much time obsessing on the past as it is.  Fortunately my writing does help.  I’m getting all my prison stories organized now, put in the best order I can assemble.  Then I’m going to start some rewriting: correcting, sharpening, and trying to insert more of my sarcastic and dark humor into the stories, so it’s more like I am telling it to someone face-to-face.  If that all goes well, I hope to approach a publisher with it sometime in 2010.  I don’t have a literary agent, and I’m not sure yet if I really need one.  But if this project gets any kind of positive feedback, I’ll move on to the next one: the story of my relationship and marriage to Mara.  And then the planned project after that is the childhood book.  I’ve got some other minor things I’d like to do too, especially find and polish a short story I wrote for Heather from prison which she really enjoyed.  Time, motivation, and energy are always the big problems.  And focus; I do a lot of office work at home, and with such a small apartment there isn’t much time when you can block out everything around you.  Besides, I don’t get to spend enough time with Heather.  But as her classes start, there will be opportunities to write more when I can.  Doing Eternal Sunshine does sort of force me into producing something.  I didn’t think I’d have a new chapter in the Halfway House serial this month, but once I’d done a few paragraphs I was able to push myself in a few sessions and get it done.


Thanks to all of you who recognized Heather’s birthday.  As usual, I spoiled her, giving her a bunch of books and DVDs she wanted (some of which we are not watching together…we just finished the first season of Doc Martin).  One gift which I know she loved besides those were her cat shoes.  There was only one pair available, and they were in her size, so obviously she was meant to have them.  Plus the money I spent went to help the Blind Cat Rescue organization. 


In zine news, we have gamestarts in both Diplomacy and Gunboat, and we continue to see some progress in the Fog of War and the “Cronin Special” Diplomacy openings.  I’ve replaced both filled games with fresh opening listings, so if you missed these and want to sign up for the next one, please let me know. 


One game which I’ve considered adding was run by Joakim Spångberg in his much-missed publication Corps Diplomatique, entitled “Top Ten.”  The premise of the game was that he’d give the players a topic (animals, sports).  Each player would then send in 3 real songs, but which had their respective title changed to fit the topic.  (You’ll see what I mean below).  The following turn you’d vote on the answers you liked best (10 points for your favorite down to 1 for your 10th favorite), and submit songs for the new category.  It took a bit of thought, but it was a lot of fun.  If you think you’d be interested in giving it a go, please email me, and if we get at least 5 or 6 readers willing to try, I’ll start a game next issue.  I’m including a portion of one of his game results pages below, so you can get a better idea of how it worked.  Just please get in touch if you’re interested.



That’s about it for this issue.  Not a lot to say, and not a lot of time to say it in anyway.  See you next month!


Playlist – Sountrack – The Shipping News; Who’s Next – The Who; Complete Hits Collection – Billy Joel; Le Roi de Lahore – Massenet; Let’s Get Small – Steve Martin.



Halfway Home at the Halfway House – Part Eight


At first, work had its own difficulties.  To begin with, there was the matter of being accessible by phone.  After breakfast and collecting my bag lunch, I’d leave the halfway house on the 7am van, which would take us to the light rail station (arriving around 7:20).  From there I’d take the rail to Union station and catch a bus, which I could get off right across the street from work.  Timing, however, was the issue.  There was no way to arrive at close to my 9am start time.  So I’d arrive closer to 8:30, which absolutely nothing to do.  I usually had a paperback which I would try to read, but I would find myself harassed by beggars every few minutes as I stood by the store.  If I was lucky, they’d just ask for money and I would say no.  If I was unlucky, they’d engage me in conversation.  “Do you work here?  What’s in the bag?  What do they pay?  Can I get part of your lunch?”  I couldn’t be overly rude, because these same people would walk by morning after morning.  I didn’t have a key to the store at this point, so I’d be stuck standing there until my boss arrived.


His schedule was not a very dependable one, which caused me quite a bit of grief.  Because I had to be accountable for my whereabouts at all times, it was my job to call the Halfway House when I arrived at work.  But, since my boss often wasn’t there on time, I was unable to do that.  Instead I’d wait until about 9:15 and then call using the payphone on the corner, explaining that I was at work but that I could not yet get in.  The staff would tell me to call again when I was actually inside the store.  Then I’d go back to waiting.  Sometimes he’d show up about that time, right after I’d wasted 50 cents on the call.  But often he’d pull up at 9:30 or later.  Once he had someone else drive down to let me in after 10am.  On days like that I’d have to call the Halfway House from the payphone a second time, letting them know I was still stuck.  Generally the response was that I could wait until 10am but then I’d simply have to forget work and come back.  “We can’t have you wandering around Dallas.”  Of course, most of my fellow clients were doing just that, all day long, with their fake jobs and with the cars they were driving without authorization.  But me?  I was a problem, since I had a REAL job and had to wait for my boss to let me in.


The Halfway House was supposed to call your workplace about once a week to “spot check” and make sure you were where you were supposed to be.  As usual, I got dealt the heavier hand; they called an average of four times a week, and a few times they would call more than once a day.  I got the feeling that the reason I was singled out – as in other circumstances, such as always being searched when leaving he chow hall in prison – was that I wasn’t going to make a big stink about it or give them a hard time.  So because I tried to be agreeable, I was a favorite target for the staff; they had a quota of calls to make, so why not knock one off that quota by taking the path of least resistance?  My boss didn’t seem to mind, but then he’d bug me about after they called.  He just liked to complain, really.


The other problem with work, for the time being, was that I had to go to mandatory group meetings twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  These would require me to take the bus from down the street to downtown, run 3 blocks (because I had only about 2 minutes to make the switch), and transfer onto another bus which would take me up to the counseling location.  It happened to be only about a 5 minute drive from my house, but with the bus system it was a real pain in the butt.


Worse, my boss (who was the only other person who worked at that location, if you remember), had a habit of taking long lunches.  Sometimes I’d be sitting there staring at the clock, knowing that if he didn’t show up within a minute or two I’d miss the bus and be late for the meeting.  I couldn’t just leave the store, because I had no key!  If I did, I could just lock it up and take off…but in these cases I had to panic and count the seconds.  Occasionally I’d have to run off so quickly that I wouldn’t be able to call the Halfway House to say “I’m leaving work and heading to my group meeting) which was mandatory every time I moved from one place to another (they had a phone at the therapy center which rang directly to the halfway house, so that part was easy).  If I forgot to call, I had to find a payphone along the way and call from there, otherwise I’d be guilty of not being accountable for my whereabouts, and I’d potentially have passes or other privileges taken away (or worse if I was a repeat offender).  Fortunately I always kept a supply of quarters in my pocket for these pay phone calls.  But what a beating the whole system was!


There was one occasion when I completely forgot to call from work, on a day when I was coming back to the halfway house directly.  I realized once I got on the van at the train station and we were heading back.  This was the one and only occasion that I remember when the fact that I obeyed the rules and didn’t cause trouble paid off.  When we showed up, the staff member who signed me in asked if I had called to say I was leaving work (they had a system where they moved your file from one place to another based on what you told them when you called, and my file was still in the “at work” area).  I made the only choice I thought appropriate: I looked at her and lied to her face.  “Yes ma’am, I certainly did!”  “Well, do you remember who you talked to?”  “I’m almost positive it was you, ma’am.”  She just shrugged her shoulders and assumed she’d forgotten to move it. 

As irritating as these work-related hassles were, I didn’t have much reason to bitch.  After all, it only took two weeks of working before I was able to secure my first 24-hour pass…which meant spending the night at home for the first time since I’d left in November 2003!  Usually someone with a stable job could get a 48-hour pass, but because I worked six days a week that wasn’t allowed.  The 24-hour pass was pretty simple: you had to give them what your schedule would be, in advance.  If you wanted to go to dinner or a store or anything, you had to put it on the pass request, including address and phone number.  But one thing you couldn’t do was go to someone else’s house.  This actually was amusing for me, because the first 24-hour pass I had was over Mother’s Day weekend, and Heather had planned for me to go to her mother’s apartment with her.  My case worker told me that I wouldn’t be allowed to do that (lucky me!).  The only catch was I had been joking about not being allowed to go there since Heather first brought the subject up, so now that I found out I REALLY wasn’t allowed to go, I felt I needed proof.  So, I asked my case worker to write a simple note.  He looked at me funny, and I  explained why I needed it.  “What do you want me to write?” he asked, and I told him what to put down, which he basically copied word for word.  I still have that note (although I’m not sure why), and it appears below:


Heather didn’t want to believe me when I told her that my joking had turned out to be prophetic, but the note was enough to convince her.  So while Heather was forced to go off and spend time with her mother, I’d be able to sit around the apartment and relax.


In preparation for the pass, and for the eventual switch to home confinement which I was looking forward to a month or two down the road (getting to actually LIVE at home, while still under the supervision of the Halfway House), I ordered a separate phone line in my name.  It wasn’t allowed to have any features: just tone dialing.  No call waiting or call forwarding, because if they called to check on your whereabouts they wanted to know that you were truly home.  And since you had to provide them a copy of the telephone bill, they’d know if you even tried a one-time usage of services like that.  A staff member also came by and inspected the apartment, making sure there were no guns, drugs, or alcohol on the premises.  With those tasks completed, my first pass was approved, from 6pm on Saturday May 13th 2006 until 6pm on Sunday the 14th.  I couldn’t go directly from work: I had to travel back to the Halfway House, sign in, and have Heather pick me up.  But from there, we’d go back to the apartment, and I’d get to fall asleep, and wake up, with my arms around the women who had so patiently waited for me to come home; the woman I wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with.


There was one more thing I was looking forward to, almost as much: seeing Tigger, my cat.  When I left in 2003 she was already 16 years old, and I never in my wildest dreams imagined she’d still be living (at age 19) when I came home three years later.  But she’d been a good companion for Heather, keeping her company on lonely weekends, and her health had not been a problem at all.  So with the big day approaching, I had two major questions in my mind: first, would Heather and I find it easy to slip back into the magical “nation of two” we’d experienced in the time we spent together before I left; and second, would Tigger recognize or remember me after spending the last three years with a woman she hadn’t known for very long prior?  I hoped the answer to both questions would be yes, but all I could do is wait to find out.












Eternal Sunshine Playhouse

Just a reminder…the events are basically all a true account of how Heather and I met, and our first date.  I wrote the play longhand from prison for the anniversary of our first date.  Some names have been changed for reasons I forget at the time I typed it in (even Heather’s daughter’s name), but otherwise this is very close to how it went.


I’m No Edward Norton

(An Anniversary Gift to Heather Taylor)

By Douglas Kent, © 2009

Part Two




So are you coming over Friday night?


I'm not sure.  I don't have class on Saturday but I do need to go get some computer time.  My computer is still broken.


So?  Spend the night and go from our place.


I still feel funny about spending the night there after what happened last time.


What is the big deal Heather?  I told you I've talked to Harold about it, and he promised not to walk around the house naked when you're there.


Mmm hmm.


All he was doing was getting up to get a drink from the fridge in the middle of the night.


Well I'm sorry Shannon but it makes me uncomfortable.  It was creepy!


It isn't like that's the first naked man you've ever seen.  First in a while maybe.



Thanks alot.



You know what your problem is?


No, but I'm sure you do.  Let's hear it.


You're way too picky.  You're never going to find the perfect man.  He doesn't exist.


So I should just settle for whatever guy I can find?


No, Heather.  Just find a decent guy who cares about you.  Then, if you can, start reprogramming his default settings.


Great, I should tell him "I love you, now please change"?  Besides, I don't need a perfect man.  I just need the man who is perfect for me.


What has been so wrong with the guys you've dated in the past year?  You don't even give them a chance.


Please, Shannon.  Let's see, that one guy brought me to a strip club on our first date.


Be open-minded Heather.  Is that so horrible?


No, I didn't object to the location.  Just how cheap he was.  He wouldn't even buy me a lap dance!  I had to go to the ATM and get money to pay for it myself.


You are a certified nut.


Then there was the guy who wanted to stop at his "friend's house" on the way home from our first date.


That sounds a little odd, but I am guessing there is more to the story.


You bet there is.  Turns out his "friend" was his crack dealer.


Oh my God!  What did you do?


What could I do?  I hid in the bathroom and cried until he said we could leave.  Then I confronted him in the car and demanded he take me home immediately.


Good recovery.


Then on the drive home I had to listen to this emotional sob story about how I might be the one woman who could save him and help him defeat this horrible addiction.


At least he wasn't afraid of commitment.


That is exactly what he needed - to be committed.


What about Todd?  He lasted for a couple of months.


Yeah, until he got all pissed off at me and told me I was a high maintenance drama queen who needs to be the boss all the time.  And I realized he was right, I am.  So if he didn't like it, he wasn't the one!


Okay, admittedly those don't sound like the ideal men for you.  But are you just going to give up?


Who said anything about giving up?  It just seems that I may never find what I am looking for.


And who exactly are you looking for?  Rock Hudson?  Wasn't he gay anyway?


No Shannon, I'm not looking for Rock Hudson.  And I have no idea if he was gay or not.


Okay Heather, if not Rock Hudson, then who?  What?


Oh, I don't know.  I guess in some ways I want an old-fashioned romantic, and in other ways I want a modern man who can appreciate a liberated, independent woman.



Oh no, Heather, you're not too particular, are you?


Well let me try to break it down into more specific things then.  To begin with, he has to open doors for me, especially when I'm getting into or out of the car.


Well good luck with all of that!


I'm serious!  He has to be sensitive.  Not afraid to cry at movies.  He should write me letters and cards, or maybe poetry.  He needs to enjoy some of the same things I do: going to plays, the ballet, maybe an opera..


I hate to tell you this, but it sounds to me like the person you are describing IS gay.


Oh shut up!


I'm serious.  The ballet?  Poetry?  Plays?  Gay, gay, and gay.


A man who doesn't care that I want to take a long nap on weekends, and who will tuck me in when I do.




Shannon, quit!  Somebody who will brush my hair for me, slowly and gently.





(glares at Shannon)

Okay, well run his fingers through it at least.  And he has to be good in bed.


No argument on that one, sister.


Not just with the actual intercourse either.  I want a good kisser.  Someone who pays special attention to my neck.


I love a man who bites my neck.  He has to let me be on top sometimes too.  And any man I'm with from now on had better have a good tongue and know how to use it: frequently and generously.  It can't be just about him getting off all the time.


I have to admit that all sounds very appealing.  But come on, finding a man who is interested in something besides his own orgasm?  I think we're back to gay again my dear.


Okay, how's this one?  I want a guy who will sit down and watch the video of me giving birth to my daughter.


Uh, hold the phone there sister.  Your ex-husband El Jerko wasn't even interested in watching that!


George?  George was never interested in anything except for watching "Andy Griffith" and "I Love Lucy" reruns.  He is exactly what I don't want in a man: controlling, moody, dishonest, mean, manipulative, and unappreciative.


Amen to that.


He'd sit there on his ass watching HIS television shows, and if I made the slightest complaint he'd tell me to go watch TV in the other room.  But as soon as I did that, he'd start to whine that I wasn't spending time with him.  So I'd come back in the room and start to read instead, but that wasn't acceptable either.  He always said I was only reading to escape from being with him.


How compassionate.


That's why I need a guy who cares about my thoughts and feelings.  Someone who actually listens to me when I’m talking to him, and who hears what I am saying instead of what he wants to hear.  Someone who realizes that every time I start to vent about a problem isn't an invitation for him to come up with a solution or a personal attack on his fragile ego.


Yeah, I’m sure you want a guy like that.  You and every other woman.  Why not wish for a million dollars and a pony while you're at it?


Why shouldn't I wait until I find the right man?  Why do I have to settle for somebody I might not be truly happy with?



Because the man you are describing might not exist at all.  Or if he does exist, you may never meet him.  Or he'll already be taken when you do meet him.  Or he'll be gay.


So?  If I can't find him, I guess I'll be alone.  I'd rather be alone and lonely than settle for the wrong guy and be miserable.  I could just get a dog for companionship, and stock up on vibrators.


That's a pretty defeatist attitude, don't you think?


No, because I don't have to give up the search.  If I don't find the man for me, it isn't the end of the world.  I'll just keep looking.  And my daughter will always be first in my life anyway.  Any ideal man will have to understand that.  Maggie comes first, before him or myself.


Which is the way it should be.  But you need to face facts: in some ways you're asking for the moon in this perfect match for you.


I don't think I am.  The little things are just as important as the big things.  I want a man who likes to hold hands.  Somebody who can just as easily listen to classical music as he can rock and roll or some eighties new wave stuff.


As long as he isn't a big fan of show tunes.


Very funny Shannon.  Just because a guy likes musicals doesn't make him homosexual.  Yes, I wouldn't mind if he'd take me to a musical now and then.


Oh please.



Need more coffee?



I guess he should be a coffee drinker?


He had better be.  I'd suggest he likes it strong too.



Well you can strip paint with your coffee.  I can only imagine what it is doing to my insides.  If coffee burned calories, you'd be a size zero by now.


Well I don't wear a size zero, or a size six for that matter.


What if Mister Wonderful likes his women petite?


Obviously, if he is the man for me he'll have to love me not just for what I have on the inside.  He'll need to think I'm beautiful just the way I am, big butt and extra pounds included.


And right that he should, Heather.  You are beautiful whether you'll admit it or not.


(smiles and sighs to herself)




No, nothing.  It's silly.


Come on girl, spill it.


You know how I'll be sure that I've found the right man for me someday?


He'll have a two foot penis?


No!  You're awful!


Why?  That would be my ideal man right there: six foot four, mute, and a two foot penis.


Now who's asking for the moon?


Sorry, I lost my head for a second.




Don't change the subject.  How will you know he's the man for you?



If he'll paint my toenails for me.




That's my final litmus test.  If he is willing to paint my toenails for me, that's the most romantic thing a man can do to show how much he loves me.  Any man who offers to do that is unquestionably my Soulmate.


That's one fantasy I haven't come across in Cosmo yet.


Maybe I'm ahead of my time then!  Maybe I'm too old fashioned.  I don't know what I am.  I just know what I want in a man.  He might not exist, but that's what I want.


Well I hope you find what you are looking for, but I don't know how likely it is.  Either that, or I hope you change your standards.


Lower my standards, you mean.


Whatever.  But while you're on the search for the perfect man, do you think you could do me a favor?


Sure, what?


If you happen to stumble across the mute with the two foot penis, give him my cell number.



Stay tuned for part three of “I’m No Edward Norton” in Eternal Sunshine #33…if you dare!




The Eternal Sunshine Football Prediction Contest


We didn’t get as many entries as I’d hoped for, but we got some, which is better than none.  Below you’ll see comments from some of those who entered, explaining their picks, and then the table with ALL the picks (including mine).  When the season is over we’ll add up the scores and see who wins.


Melinda Holley: Here is my full breakdown of picks, not just the winners:


NFC East - Eagles, Giants, Redskins, Cowboys (not that I think the Redskins will place 3rd, I just can't put anybody ahead of the Cowboys)


NFC North - Bears, Vikings, Lions, Packers (yes, I think this year the Packers WILL suck that badly)


NFC South - Panthers, Bucs, Saints, Falcons (can't STAND Atlanta!)


NFC West - Cardinals, Seahawks, Rams, 49rs (San Francisco & football...two words that should never go together and yes, I know it's THREE words but you get the idea)


AFC East - Dolphins, Patriots, Jets, Bills (Dolphins especially if they keep Pennington! GO CHAD!)


AFC North - Steelers, Ravens, Bengals, Browns (not that I think the Bengals will be good enough to place 3rd but c'mon...everybody's entitled to 1 sucker pick)


AFC South - Titans, Colts, Texans, Jaguars (but I still love the Jags)


AFC West - Broncos, Raiders, Chiefs, Chargers (okay...I get TWO sucker picks...BRONCOS 4EVER!)


Paraic Reddington’s Explanations of his picks:


NFC EAST - Eagles. McNabb goes down in week 10 and in comes Vick. From then on Westbrook scores me a heap of points as they never pass again.

NFC NORTH - Vikings. After week 7 all talk of Favre will finally stop - and then 2 days later he will sign for the Vikings.

NFC SOUTH - Saints. Atlanta will run the division early but the Saints will finish stronger and win it in week 17.

NFC WEST - Cardinals. Not because I think the cards will be as good this year - but because the rest of the teams in this division suck.

AFC EAST - Dolphins. The fins will this year run a playbook made up entirely of high school plays and will win the division on a statue of liberty double reverse.

AFC NORTH - Steelers - I don't like the Steelers. I don't like writing that they will win. But they will.

AFC SOUTH - Texans. Out of nowhere the Texans will become great - behind Slaton and Johnson.

AFC WEST - Chargers. This team will be the most improved this year. The other 3 will go backwards.



Hypothetical of the Month

Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1: A house painter asks why you didn’t hire him.  The only problem is his lack of personal hygiene.  Do you tell him?  #2: Someone you don’t particularly like offers to treat you to a meal at an expensive restaurant that you’d love to try.  Do you go just for the meal?


Melinda Holley – #1 - Actually this wouldn't be a problem 'cause if personal hygiene is the only reason NOT to hire him, I would've hired him.  Obviously, his work meets my standards and his price is reasonable.


#2 - Oh, hell, no!  No meal is worth being in the company of someone you don't like.  I don't think there's enough Alka Seltzer in the world to make me do that.


Andy York - Hypothetical #1 - presuming this was a private (non-business) transaction. I'd just say that "your lack of attention to your personal hygiene makes me wonder about your ability to meet my expectations for completing the job as expect."


Hypothetical #2 - Nope, sorry - unless there was some other compelling reason (my boss/business meeting, engaged to a close friend/relative and wanting to establish a better relationship, etc).


Paraic Reddington#1: No. But I'm particularly bad at telling people about their lack of personal hygiene. I prefer to lean back in such an exaggerated fashion that I either fall over or they realize their breath stinks. I have no problem correcting people's grammar though. I obviously regard grammar above body odor.

#2: Hmm not sure about this one. If there is a group of people invited then I'll probably go along. Then I'll get really drunk and be so obnoxious that the person will realize that I don't like them and never invite me to anything ever again. Then again - maybe I'll grow to like them over dinner! If it's just me and that other person then no, I wouldn't go (Especially if they were a painter with bad personal hygiene).


Kevin Wilson - #1:  Hmmm, a tricky one.  Probably not but I would sure be tempted to.  Especially if I had walked away from a much more attractive bid.  But, rightly or wrongly, I tend to equate personal slovenliness with professional slovenliness.  Even folks who do physical work for a living, if they are going to be in others homes, should be aware and be clean.

#2:  Much easier.  No.  Even if it's a place almost impossible to get in, the company at dinner is more important than the dinner itself.


Jack McHugh - #1: Yes, I would tell him.  Business people should be open to both positive and negative comments from customers.

#2:  No, I would not accept the invitation.  The company is just as important as the meal, if not more important.


Heather – #1 - No, I would make up some other excuse because I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings.  But if he was someone I already knew, I’d tell him nicely, somehow.


#2 – No, because I wouldn’t want to endure their company.  I’d rather save up my own money and go myself.


For Next Month (For the time being, I am selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: #1 - You don’t have enough money to finish college, and don’t want to stop.  Your uncle, who made his fortune gouging low income tenants, offers to fund you.  Do you take his money?  #2 - You attend a wedding distinguished by poor food, boring speeches, and bad music.  Later, the bride asks if you enjoyed yourself.  Do you tell the truth?


The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews


Whatever Works – For me, Woody Allen has usually been either genius or misfire.  And my opinions don’t always match well with those of movie critics.  The Mighty Aphrodite was boring to me…I barely got a laugh out of it.  Yet it seemed I couldn’t find a critic who didn’t love it from start to finish.  Whatever Works, his latest film, has received rather negative reviews, or mixed at best.  True, it has some flaws, but overall Whatever Works is a wonderful, fun film, full of laughs and witty dialogue.


Larry David plays Boris Yellinikov, a self-proclaimed genius who at one time was considered for a Nobel prize in physics.  After the break-up of his marriage, the onset of terrible panic attacks, and a failed suicide attempt, he leaves his comfortable life for a small apartment in Manhattan, where he makes his living teaching children how to play chess.  In this case, teaching is a euphemism for yelling at them, berating them for their mistakes, and dumping the pieces on their heads.  Boris has a true disdain for humanity.  He refers to the common people at inchworms, cretins, and idiots.  He, the genius, can see the big picture: life is pointless, the things we fill our lives with are meaningless, and it will all come to an end sooner rather than later.  And, as a race, humans are not inherently good or kind.  They are stupid, lazy, selfish, and unreliable. 


One evening Boris is approached by Melody St. Ann Celestine (Evan Rachel Wood), a kind, innocent, and thoughtful 18-year-old runaway looking for someplace to stay the night.  For whatever reason, Boris gives in, and one night turns to two turns to a month.  The two strike up a friendship, with Boris lecturing Melody on the stupidity of the world and the people in it (including herself).  Melody, for her part, is pure southern country, and seems not to mind when Boris calls her a cretin or an inchworm.  She helps Boris through his frequent panic attacks, hypochondria, and OCD compulsions (singing Happy Birthday twice, out loud, every time he washes his hands to be sure he is getting all the germs off).  Incredibly, she picks up and adopts a few of his theories on society, which delights Boris.  Slowly, Melody is growing and changing and learning, but not blindly following; she still has her own beliefs and ideas.


Eventually, and inevitably, their relationship grows beyond friendship.  Meanwhile we’re introduced to Melody’s parents…first her mother (Patricia Clarkson) and then her father (Ed Begley Junior), both southerners with strong faith in the Bible; at least until New York City grabs hold of them and they begin to think about what they want instead of what is expected of them.


There are a few minor problems.  Larry David does a decent job, but every once in a while you feel you’re watching Larry David and not Boris Yellinkov.  There is also a gimmick where Boris speaks to the camera; that in itself is not a problem, but the goofy way people keep asking him who he is talking to falls flat.  The point seems to be that, as he says many times, only HE sees the whole picture, but the effect doesn’t work.  The ending isn’t quite what I hoped for either, but it does help to highlight what Boris learns through his experiences (and which ties into his string theory past): a never-ending stream of minor events and unlikely occurrences, we are born, grow, and live our lives…but take away any of those events, and we would not be where we are now.  We are the sum of all that we have experienced good and bad. 


That is a message I try to remind myself of – more so because Heather sees so much of me in the Boris character.  If I had not lived through all the bad experiences that I survived, I would not be who I am now, and more importantly, I would not be where I am now.  Somehow, through it all, I found myself face-to-face with the woman of my dreams…astronomical odds, but it happens, and to more people than the odds suggest possible.


Whatever Works is disappearing from theaters as I write this, so you’ll probably have to see the movie on DVD instead.  Do so, and let me know what you thought.


District 9 – When it comes to summer movies, most of them are simply mindless action, cliché-ridden dialogue, and clear lines drawn between good guys and bad guys.  District 9 is a summer film that gives you reasons to think, but still entertains.


The premise of the film is a bit unusual.  A large alien craft arrived 20 years ago and hovered over Johannesburg, South Africa.  Then…nothing happened.  It just sat there.  Eventually South African military breaks into the ship, and finds huddled masses of malnourished alien beings; hundreds of thousands of them.  Why they came to Earth is a mystery.  South Africa takes it upon itself (and later with international help) to nurse these aliens (referred to derogatively as Prawns) back to health.  They’re give a camp to live in, known as District 9.


Fast forward to today.  District 9 is a lawless slum, populated by the Prawns and some Nigerians who smuggle in contraband (cat food is a particular favorite of the Prawns) and sell it at excessive prices.  The walls have become militarized, and the Prawns are not permitted to leave the area any longer.  But citizens of the city are still unhappy.  They want the Prawns moved, so a new camp, District 10, is built about 200 kilometers outside of the city.  The international group which oversees the aliens, Multi-National United, is given the task of moving more than a million Prawns from District 9 to District 10.  In bureaucratic fashion, laws exist to make ruling over these aliens legal.  And one of those laws requires that they be given 24 hours notice before they are evicted from District 9. 


Here the story begins.  Wikus Van de Merwe (an effective Sharlto Copley, in his first film) is a pleasant, typical desk jockey who is given charge of the project because his father-in-law holds an important position higher in the MNU.  Generally unprepared and out of his element, he leads the MNU representatives (with military support) into District 9 to try and get enough signatures to make the eviction notice legal.  Language is not a problem, for after 20 years they’ve learned to understand each others’ language.  While collecting signatures, Wikus all searches for hidden caches of weapons (human and alien) and other contraband, hoping to make a good impression on the higher-ups.  But things go wrong, and soon Wikus is learning things he doesn’t want to know, and experiencing things he never thought he’d be a part of.  And through his eyes we see the lines blurred.


The choice of South Africa as the setting is ironic (and intentional).  I’ve read a bit about the real-life relocation of people being relocated during the Apartheid era.  Yet even the black population of the city is distrustful and hateful towards the Prawns, wanting them as far away as possible.  Not once in the documentary-style footage (which is mixed with the live-action) are any of the citizens interviewed shown expressing the slightest concern for the Prawns.  They just want them to go away…which apparently they can’t do.


Some may prefer more explosive, constant action, but if you’re like me, you appreciate a thoughtful story to go along with the fun of the action.  District 9 is worth seeing, so check it out.


Cold Souls – When you develop a movie like Cold Souls, you’re walking a very fine line between eccentric amusement and bizarre confusion.  Successful films like Being John Malkovich or Eternal Sunshine can entertain far beyond expectation.  Unfortunately, Cold Souls (from writer/director Sophie Barthes), while not a complete disappointment, left me feeling unsatisfied.


The brilliant Paul Giamatti stars as himself.  He is rehearsing a part in Chekov’s “Uncle Vanya” but he cannot manage to find the character’s voice or emotion the way he wants to.  Time is running out, and he feels great pressure to succeed.  His agent suggests he read an article in the New Yorker about a company which extracts and stores your soul.  The suggestion is that if the soul is removed, Paul will feel freer, have less anxiety, and be able to act in the way he really wants to.


This premise is the first problem with the movie.  It is never explained how the removal of the soul would improve anyone’s life.  It is barely even hinted at: without the soul, you’ll remove your anxiety and negative thoughts.  Why that would be is simply left open to interpretation. 


Giamattti does his best to keep the film moving, although it drags quite a bit.  There is a secondary story about a black market for souls, and “mules” carrying them in from Russia, which eventually ties into the main theme.  I don’t want to go too far into the plot, but it lacks cohesion or – as an alternative – lacks the eccentric and mad universe element.  Even the laughs, of which there are only a few, seem held back and understated.  When you have an actor like Paul Giamatti in your film, it takes a certain type of direction and editing to maximize his potential…and better dialogue than we’re shown here.


I’d still say Cold Souls is worth a look, and perhaps you’ll get a lot more out of it than I did.  But I’d probably wait for the DVD.


Seen on DVD Watership Down (B, not as much fun as when I was younger, but still good, and reminds me I’d like to reread the book).   The Dead Zone (B+, in many ways one of the best Stephen King adaptation.  Christopher Walken really shows some range.)  Special (B, quirky but generally entertaining low-budget film about a man who believes he has super powers.)  Underworld – Rise of the Lycans (C, the worst of the three.  Dialogue way too close to moronic cliché stage, no emotional ties to the characters, and everything is shot so damn dark you can’t see what is happening anyway).

Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column

Don Williams: Great issue – just finished reading the play – I laughed out loud. I saw that it’s serialized … I just wanted you to know I enjoyed it.  I enjoy a lot of the zine as well, but let all my non-Dip obligations get in the way of participating more.


[[Considering how hard Jim-Boob is trying to pull you back into Deviant, I’m not sure how much moarticipating you could handle!]]


Dane Maslen: This time I've read the whole zine fairly quickly.  I found the first part of the play very amusing - I'm very fond of self-deprecatory humo(u)r.


[[That’s pretty much my whole life!]]


Lance Anderson: Just getting caught up reading the back issues of E.S. that I might have overlooked & one item from E.S.#6 prompted me to write. You saw 'A Handmaid's Tale' & gave it a C+ as a movie but my suggestion is that the novel, by Margaret Atwood, is far superior to the cinema adaptation & provides details that the movie omitted completely. If you can find a copy, it's a great 'dystopian future' type novel, enjoy! 


[[I believe Heather told me she had read it before, which was why we added the movie to our Netflix list.  I’ll keep an eye out for it.]]


Also, after reading all issues of E.S. again yesterday, I would like to suggest to you that existence doesn't end with physical death. I believe that the soul is a force that transitions to another plane of existence after the physical shell deceases; I am atheist when it comes to religion & I believe these 'life after death' is separate from religion!


[[I generally fear, or at least try to plan for, the unknown.  Death?  Can’t much plan for it.  Reminds me of when Homer Simpson is talking to God in a dream and wants to know the meaning of life.  God tells him he has to wait until he dies to find out, and Homer whines that he can’t wait that long.  “You can’t wait two weeks?” God asks him.]]


Andy York: Interesting read on the script - though, a question, how "verbatim" is the conversation with Ann and how much is scripted. It reads a bit "sitcom-y" and, not entirely, the voice I've come to expect from you (though, definitely, the Doug I know does come through at some points). I look forward to the next installment.


[[That’s about 80% how we spoke to each other at work.  A bit is condensed, and the references to people we worked with, and those who were making our job more difficult, are removed.  But a morning would pretty much be that way: the two of us in banter.]]


The Halfway House is about what I'd expect from the situation. I would suspect that the supervisor was a bit jealous and may have wanted to "put you in your place" as well as not admitting his error.


[[Well true, he was never “wrong” and his whole purpose seemed to be to live on a power trip.  Meanwhile, behind his back reality was a much different situation than what he thought it was.]]


I did like Public Enemies and didn't think it was too long (though, a few minutes could have been trimmed here and there). The cinematography and settings were excellent, as you noted. And, I agree that the underlying story is a bit muddled by the core message - Dillinger v. Purvis, Dillinger v. Hoover; but I'd add Purvis v. Hoover. And, I'd think the latter is the true tension with Dillinger providing the reason for the conflict.


[[In books there was more of the Purvis vs. Hoover, but in the film there didn’t seem to be.  They had one conflict – Purvis’ call for more professional, less “gentlemanly” agents.  And it lasted one phone call.  Besides that, the film basically ignored most of that conflict.]]


Philip Murphy: I have tentatively begun work on Issue 3 of TEOTA. I'm thinking of simplifying the format some - using Scribus to lay it out as a magazine was fun but waaay too fiddly, and I can use Openoffice to make a PDF anyhow. So will be slightly more casual layout from now on.  The covers will still be done the same way, though. I plan on releasing to the public on September 4th the issue just needs to be tidied and re-done.

[[I look forward to it!  You’re still publishing faster than Jim Burgess; notice that a few people put down The Abyssinian Prince as “a zine no longer being published” in By Popular Demand.]]

Hope you and Heather are keeping well - do wish her a very very late happy birthday from me - my head's been in books for the last few weeks - and I've been catching up on non-college stuff (like emails) since last week. Finally got my MA finished so I am now free to play even more Dip.


Robin ap Cynan: Which version of the Brandenbergs have you been listening to?  And have you heard the 4.1 version of Dark Side? Excellent!


[[I’m not familiar with the 4.1 version.  How is it different than the re-mastered one I bought?  As for the Brandenbergs, this particular version is not remarkable, I’m slowly adding classical CD’s no replace my long-gone LP collection, and I simply happened across this one on clearance for $1 at Half Price Books.  I bought it on impulse, planning to a better rendition later on.  But this one is actually decent but generic (Baroque Soloists of Budapest), as the $1 price just means it sat on their shelves too long and was moved to the clearance area to make room for new arrivals.  You can find some good music for $1 or $2 there if you’re willing to sit on the floor and look through the rows of trash.]]

Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jwmchughjr “of”

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #10



I wanted to write about my Phillies and how great they’re doing, but I don’t want to jinx them.  So I figured I’d talk about the Eagles and the Michael Vick signing, but I think Andy Reid ate him for breakfast the other day when no donuts were immediately available, so that’s not possible either.  Instead, I’m just going to take advantage of the short month Doug’s schedule gave me and fill this column with nothing but little funnies people sent me from the internet.  I’ve been pretty busy this month, so I don’t have a ton of energy.  I think I’ll leave the punchline contest I mentioned last issue until next month too.  So, here’s a decent joke, and then a guide to women and their hormones (which is of critical importance to married men like me).


The Fishing Trip


Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip.  Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dave headed home frustrated.


The following week when Dave's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Dave. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing.


"How did you talk your missus into letting you go Dave?"


"I didn't have to," Dave replied.  "Last week when I left our meeting, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then the ol'lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'." "When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, ' Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want'......SO HERE I AM!"


The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this! 
Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!





What's for 

Can I help you 
with dinner?

Where would you like 
to go for dinner?

Here, have some wine.

Are you 
wearing that?

You sure 
look good in brown!

WOW! Look at you!

Here, have some wine

What are you 
so worked up about?

Could we be 

Here's my paycheck.

Here, have some wine.

Should you be 
eating that?

You know, there are 
a lot of apples left.

Can I get you a piece 
of chocolate with that?

Here, have some wine.

What did you 
DO all day?

I hope you didn't 
over-do it today.

I've always loved you 
in that robe!

Here, have some wine.

13 Things PMS Stands For  

 1.  Pass My Shotgun 

2.  Psychotic Mood Shift 

 Perpetual Munching  Spree

4.  Puffy Mid-Section 

 People Make me Sick 

6.  Provide Me Sweets 

7.  Pardon My Sobbing 

8.  Pimples May Surface 

9.  Pass My Sweatpants

10.  Pissy Mood Syndrome 

 Plainly; Men Suck 

 Pack My Stuff

13.  Potential  Murder Suspect 



An Alternative to the Standard Endgame Report

By Paul Milewski


In trying to come up with a topic to write about for Doug, I finally settled on the obvious shortcomings of the standard endgame report.  For no particular reason, I chose to use as an example “Giant Yellowknife,” which was a game in Andy Lischett’s Cheesecake.  Spring 1901  appeared in issue #256 (May 15, 2005) with Harold Zarr as Austria, Fred Wiedemeyer as England, Mike Quirk as France, Stan Johnson as Italy, Cary Nichols as Russia, and Ken Iverson as Turkey.  Spring 1911 was the last season played and appeared in issue #279 (April 11, 2008).  The game ended in an FGIT draw.  The draw passing was announced in issue #281 and the player’s endgame statements appeared in issue #282 (August 27, 2008).  Of course, along with the players’ endgame statements was published the standard endgame report. 


Aside from the names of the players (including Eric Verheiden taking over as Austria from Harold Zarr after F’02), the (standard) endgame report for “Giant Yellowknife” was basically a supply center count:



For instance, you can see Austria’s supply center count changing, shown as being 3, 1, 1, 1, 0 at the end of the first 5 game years, and you can see that Harold Zarr was Austria “to F’02” after which Eric Verheiden took over the position.  It doesn’t reveal what I believe would commonly be referred to as Harold’s “suicide” (NMR, all units hold) in F’02 (issue #260) which prompted Andy to call Eric to stand by as Austria.  Even the players’ endgame statements politely avoided mentioning it.  As someone who over the years has seen Harold play Diplomacy and who is a subscriber to, and player in, Cheesecake, I knew about it, but anyone relying solely on the standard game report (which is in the same form it would have appeared in the Boardman Number Custodian’s publication when the postal hobby was still going strong) would not, nor would anyone be able to tell from the players’ endgame statements that appeared in issue #282, including the GM’s comments.


Just to illustrate an alternative, admittedly considerably more elaborate, endgame report, I slapped together something.  The result of my efforts is shown below.  I only included the first 3 years of the game, as it took some time to do that much and I’m coming up on Doug’s deadline, but if one compiled this information as you went along, issue by issue, the work in putting together one for the entire game would have been spread out over time and not so burdensome as it was trying to do it all at once as I did. 


The example below has 40 different units listed (22 at the start and another 18 new ones built).  Obviously, there can be no more than 34 units on the board at the same time, but the approach I took started a new line for each new unit built and certainly not deleting the line of any unit that ceased to exist.  Looking at the results of games years ’04 through ’10, I see 19 more new units built over the remainder of the game, so a worksheet with room for 59 units would have been needed.  There are also 3 columns for each game year plus one column for the initial setup of the board, so with play continuing through spring 1911, a total of 32 columns would be needed.  This would be too much to expect the human eye to take in all at once, but the data would be presented in a way to allow a person to gain a pretty clear sense of the events in the chronological order in which they occurred.


Out of the WAY #11


by W. Andrew York

(wandrew88 of






It’s been a busy month for me, as I’m still playing catch-up from my July vacation. I’ve been to a number of Round Rock Express baseball games (AAA minor league), though they haven’t been doing well in the win-loss ratio; but, it is still fun. The usual movies and dinners with friends took up some evenings.

Early in the month, I enjoyed a great concert at the Dell Diamond (home of the Round Express). It was a stop on the Nelson, Mellencamp and Dylan minor league park tour. It started with a roughly half hour set by the warm-up band - decent, nothing too memorable. Then, Willie took the stage. With the stage set-up, he was standing in the sun the entire hour he was out there (and it was over 100 degrees) - quite a feat. Joined by Ray Benson (local front man for Asleep at the Wheel), he was showing his age. He did engage the audience a bit, tossing hats into the stage front crowd. However, for some of the songs, he did his paces and nothing more - almost reciting at times, rather than singing. However, it was Willie and the first time I’d seen him live. So, it’ll be a memory.

Mellencamp came up next, with what was the most entertaining and lively set of the night - lots of energy and engagement with the audience. He asked for some input on the songs, at one point singing a song acappella and another with only himself on the stage with his guitar. Unfortunately, he didn’t introduce the other musicians on stage until just before the last song, so I only had the one tune to watch Andrew York play the guitar. ((Yes, if you Google Andrew York, he - by far - has more hits than me and I hadn’t ever had the chance, that I know of, to hear him play or watch his style)). So, that was a bonus.

Dylan, well, was Dylan. After each song, the lights went down until his band was ready for the next song. Lights up, play a song, lights down. His set was the longest, after the first hour he was joined for another 20 or so minutes by local guitarist Charlie Sexton who added some energy to an otherwise set-piece performance. All-in-all, a good evening!

Lastly, ArmadilloCon (an annual literary sci-fi convention) took up an entire weekend with excellent panels (orbital mechanics, creating a history behind your stories, what is “classic” sci-fi, returning to the moon, etc). I did get sucked into playing way too much Munchkin and missed a number of panels; but a very enjoyable time. And, I found out that the week before, San Antonio launched its bid for the 2013 WorldCon (go to to follow the bid). Right now, they are the only bidding group, so join in and support the bid. They did a great job with LoneStarCon 2 (WorldCon 1997) and I expect they’ll do even better in 2013!





Poll Question


Each month a question will be posed to the readership. Your thoughts and commentary are solicited for the next issue. Also, any response to

                what folks have submitted for the previous question are very welcome.


This issue: What do you think of the different reactions of the public to the deaths of Walter Cronkite,

            Michael Jackson and Karl Maldon?


Doug Kent: My only thoughts on the media coverage of the deaths is that I am so tired of how everyone who dies suddenly is lauded as a flawless person. Michael Jackson is the King of Pop again, now a guy with bad debts, who “fathered” children without his DNA, and who settled numerous lawsuits for inappropriate activity with children. Cronkite was praised as the voice of a nation, which I suppose he may have been at the time, but not to everyone....what about Brinkley? Meanwhile Maldon is pretty much ignored, despite being a terrific actor. He’s just the American Express guy. Ugh


[WAY] It all boils down to the Cult of Personality driven by the fringe media, not an individual’s merit. Overall, I’d say the tributes to Cronkite were at an appropriate level, while those of Maldon were minimalistic at best. For Jackson, it was way overblown and sensationalistic - and still is ongoing. Additionally, why should the local/county governments have to foot the majority of the cost for the tribute, and the associated protection, for one individual; but every other private citizen has to pay for the costs of police protection/escorts?


For next issue: Did the “Cash for Clunkers” program reach the goals set for it? Were those goals   appropriate for the Federal government to promote?




The Month in History


September 1, 1939 - At 0445, the first overt act of the Second World War in Europe occurs with Germany invading Poland. France and Britain

                quickly respond, mobilizing and calling for military forces to their pre-war territories. Britain began evacuating children from areas

                vulnerable to aerial bombing, including London.

September 3, 1939 - Britain, France, Australia and New Zealand declare war on Germany. The first ship is sunk by a U-boat, off of Ireland.

September 6, 1939 - South Africa declares war.

September 10, 1939 - Canada declares war while the BEF begins to land in France.

September 14, 1959 - Luna 2 lands on the moon, making another “First” by the USSR instead of the US in the Space Race. Their string of

                getting there ahead of the Americans” eventually results in Kennedy’s challenge to put the first man on the moon.

September 17, 1939 - The USSR invades eastern Poland.

September 23, 1779 - “I have not yet begun to fight”, reportedly spoken by John Paul Jones in response to a British surrender request, is the

                most remembered part of Jones’ eventual victory over the H.M.S. Serapis on this date.

September 27, 1939 - Warsaw surrenders, leaving only small pockets of Polish forces still resisting.

September 29, 1939 - Estonia agrees to Soviet use of their military bases, effectively an occupation of the country.

September 30, 1939 - A Polish government in exile is established in Paris.


Sources include: current issue of Smithsonian; The World Almanac Book of World War II edited by Peter Young





Recipe of the Month


Recipe Philosophy: Except for baking, recipes are only suggestions. I rarely precisely measure, eyeballing most everything. The listed

                measurements, for the most part, are estimates from the last time I made the recipe. Feel free to adjust to meet your personal tastes –

                and remember, it is easier to add “more” of something than to compensate when “too much” has been added.


For ingredients, if you don’t like raw onions, omit them or replace with celery to retain the crunchiness. If you like food with more spice, add

                an extra jalapeno or use habenaros instead. On the other hand, if you don’t like spicy food, replace the jalapeno with half a bell

                pepper. Optional items are used when I’m looking for a variation or making it for individuals with specific preferences.





version by W Andrew York

last modified August 2009




                1 cn (15-16oz)         Garbanzo Beans (drained, liquid reserved)

                2-3 cloves                Garlic (chopped)

                1 large                     Lemon (room temperature, juiced, about 1/4-1/3 cup)

                3 tbl                         Tahini

                2 tbl                         Olive Oil

                                                Salt to taste




                1 - In food processor, finely mince garlic

                2 - Add garbanzo beans and puree (if using a mini-chopper, split into two batches, combine when done)

                3 - Add lemon juice, tahini, salt and olive oil, then thoroughly mix, using reserved garbanzo bean liquid to thin as needed

                4 - Let set 30 minutes, taste adding additional salt, lemon juice, tahini and garbanzo bean liquid as needed




                - To serve on a buffet/at dinner with chips or pita wedges, put into serving dish, top with additional olive oil, paprika (can be hot) and

                                topped with chopped parsley or chives

                - The hummus, as listed, travels well to work to eat with a veggie snack (carrots, celery, cucumber, green onions, broccoli,

                                cauliflower, peppers, etc). You may wish to go a bit light on the garlic, though....










skipped this month  - working on a piece about the food supply and farming





Letter Column

(always welcome, send them in!)


none this month




Babylon 5 Quote


In Grey 17 is Missing:

                Garibaldi: “Thin air? Why is always thin air? Never fat air, chubby air, mostly fit but could stand to lose a few pounds air?”


Source: But In Purple...I’m Stunning! by J. Michael Straczynski, edited by Sara “Samm” Barnes, copyright 2008.




Game Section


Hangman, By Definition


This is a five round game, with each round consisting of a variable number of turns. The winner will be the person who wins the most rounds, with a tie breaker being fewest total number of turns in those winning rounds. Second tie breaker will be the most number of letters guessed (by total count revealed, not by individual letter).


Each round will consist of identifying a word of at least six letters. Along with each word will be the first definition given. Both words and definitions will be identified by blank spaces. Words and definitions are verified in a dictionary that was my high school graduation gift (slight hint to those who might want to find the edition). [[Note – for the first round of this game, an online source was used]]


The goal is to guess the word in as few turns as possible. Each turn, all players will submit one letter to be revealed. The letter submitted by the most players will be the letter revealed in the next turn. Ties will be broken by a random method. Additionally, each player should submit a guess for the word. Once the word is correctly identified (spelling is important), that round will end and a new round will begin. All players who guess the word in the same turn will share in the win for the round. If the word is not guessed by the end of six turns with no letter revealed, no one will win the round.


Along with revealing letters in the word, letters will be revealed in the definition. There are no bonus points for guessing any part of the definition, it is only there to help players figure out the word. No guesses about parts of the definition will be confirmed or displayed except by the letter revealed in that round.


All rounds start with the letters “E” and “S” already revealed.


Round Two, Turn One:     


                Letter Votes: 1 - R; 1 - V, 1 - L                                          Revealed: N/A    

                Words Guessed:   Doug Kent - Predictamentally; Mark Lew, Jim Bob - Plenipotentiary; Andy Lischett - Cat




                Word:                     P  L  E  N  I  P  O  P  T  E  N  T  I  A  R  Y


Definition:             Invested with or conferring full powers.


                Revealed:              E, S





Round Four, Turn Zero:


                Word:                     __  __  __  __  __


Definition:             __  __  __  S  __      __  __      __  __  E      __  __  S  __  E      __  __     


S  __  E  __  __


                Revealed:              E, S


Words Guessed: Mark D Lew - 2, Dane Maslen - 1, Jim-Bob - 1


Player Comments:


Doug Kent: I prefer to always start with E and S. [[WAY]] See Jim-Bob’s idea below, what do you think?


Mark D. Lew: Ha ha. If Dane was considering carabineer last month, then he and I have reversed it this month, what with my

                near miss on mizzenmast.

                That’s scary that I nailed the definition exactly. I was just sketching out something plausible, not trying to match it dead

                on -- especially considering I think I had some E’s in there that you didn’t.

                I was thinking something similar about making it a mockery. I had actually intended to send you a note saying I enjoyed

                guessing, but you can consider me outside of the game and keep my answer secret for the sake of letting the others play.

                I don’t have SOWPODS and I don’t have any tool for advanced searching, but Chambers is online with a search tool

                that allows for question marks, and that accomplishes nearly the same thing. Just with a little more work wading

                through the non-word phrases.

                Fifteen letters is very restrictive. I’d be surprised if your current word has more than one or two possible answers...

                [looks]... Yep, there it is: plenipotentiary. Looks like pleuropneumonia also works, but surely plenipotentiary is the

                answer. Kinda takes the fun out.

                [[WAY]] OK, super long words are out.....let’s try a five letter word this time (though there are lots of “E”s and “S”s).


Jim-Bob: I also find this really addictive when I look at it. I’m not much of a Scrabble player, but I love words.

                There aren’t that many 15 letter words that are just standard words. I thought it could lead with “Over” but that would

                be boring, so it made me think about leader words. And Plenipotentiary came to me. That’s my word. It is one of many

                words that fits, must be dozens of over words.

                I agree with the Internet E and S should not be revealed. More than that, what ***I*** would do is to not permit E or S

                to be guessed as letters.

                [[WAY]] Now, that’s an idea! What do the rest of you think about never revealing “E”s or “S”s next game?

                [[Jim-Bob]] I’ll guess V as a letter to reveal “Over” words if Plenipotentiary is not correct. At least this time there are

                LOTS of words that fit so it won’t be guessed first time except by luck.


Andy Lischett: As for Hangman, I used to think I was good with puzzles and with words, but I guess I’m no match for Mark

                (which I already knew - in benzene he used to collect words) or Dane. In Round One when Mark deduced “freely ----ing

                rope” I got as far as “creepy ----ing robe,” which wouldn’t have got me anywhere even if I’d thought of Googling.

                [Later] Round Three’s word is long, so maybe it has a prefix or suffix. Perhaps it ends with “ic” or “acy” or “tion”, and

                perhaps it begins with “prE” or “ovEr”. I got all excited when I started plugging in “o, v, e, r, c, o, m, p, e, n..” but

                sation” doesn’t work. I was tempted to look for “over” words in the dictionary, but that’s sort of cheating.

                I did use the dictionary for research after reading Mark Lew’s comment that a definition starting with “The” probably

                indicates a noun. He is right, and definitions starting with “A” are also usually nouns, while “To” indicates a verb. Not


                But the definition this time has none of those. “Invested”? “Untested?”


Possible future game openings - Railway Rivals, Empire Builder, Liftoff!, Pandemic

Suggestions accepted for other games to offer.



Deadline For The Next Issue of Out of the WAY:

September 26, 2009 at 7:00am – See You Then!


Game entries, letters of comment and other material can be sent to:

                wandrew88 at; or by post to: W. Andrew York; POB 201117; Austin TX 78720-111

Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: None, needs seven to fill.

Diplomacy “Cronin Special” (White Press): A regular Diplomacy game with White Press, but with Larry Cronin and his two sons together in the same game.  If they’re anything like my family, that’s no guarantee they’ll be allies – more likely they’ll constantly stab each other.  But come sign up and help the two Cronin sons get some PBM experience!  Signed up: Larry Cronin, Michael Cronin, Chuy Cronin, Pat Vogelsang, Graham Wilson, need 2 more to fill. 

Gunboat Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: None, need seven to fill.  Sign up now!

Fog of War Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: Jack McHugh, Graham Wilson, Mark Firth, Paraic Reddington, need three more to fill.  Rules can be found in ES #30.  The only portion of the game which will run here in the zine would be the press, as the maps and the supply center information is all private.  And, of course, the end-game statements and report would be run here.  But the game would run under the usual ES schedule.

Colonial Diplomacy: Hugh Polley has volunteered to guest GM this, with a bond game alongside (a Bourse-type game).  Signed up: Robert Jewett, Martin Burgdorf, Jack McHugh, Graham Wilson, need three more.  There is talk of merging this with a similar opening in Paul Bolduc’s Boris the Spider.  If so I’ll alert the players.

Diplomacy Bourse (Black Press): Buy and sell the currencies of the Diplomacy nations.  This Bourse is using the new game “Dulcinea” as its basis.  Players may join at any time (one just joined this issue), and are then given 1000 units of every currency still in circulation.  The rules to Bourse can be found in ES #24.

By Popular Demand: Game currently underway, join any time.

Standby List: HELP!  I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Jeremie Lefrancois (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I may offer another Gunboat 7x7 soon, so keep your eyes open.  I’m also considering variants like Cline 9-Man (one player has shown interest so far), Youngstown, or Woolworth.  Does anybody have an interest in Kremlin?  Or Stephen Agar’s Cannibalism?  And now that Deviant Dip II is starting, if the rest of you realize what a fun variant it is, I may offer another game of THAT (despite how many times I have been warned not to)!  If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just say the word.  If you have specific game requests please let me know.



Eternal Sunshine Game Section


Gamestart: Gunboat “Maple Sugar” 2009Crb32, Spring 1901

See Just Before “By Popular Demand”


Gamestart: Diplomacy “Just a Taste” 2009C, Winter 1900


Austria (William Wood – woodw “of” Has F Trieste, A Budapest, A Vienna.

England (Robert Jewett – Robert_Jewett “of” and robertjewett “of” Has

 F London, F Edinburgh, A Liverpool.

France (Paraic Reddington - ): Has F Brest, A Paris, A Marseilles.

Germany (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” Has F Kiel, A Munich, A Berlin.

Italy (Ian Pringle - pringle.ian “of” Has F Naples, A Venice, A Rome.

Russia (Don Williams – dwilliam “of” Has F Sevastopol, A Warsaw, A Moscow,

 F St. Petersburg (south coast).

Turkey (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” Has F Ankara, A Constantinople, A Smyrna.


And we’re off!  Black press folks, so send it in.  Have fun, let me know if you have any questions.  I’ve opened a new game of Diplomacy to replace this one.  Remember, this game is American style, which means Autumn and Winter are combined with Spring and Summer is combined with Fall.  It takes 3 requests to separate seasons, but Winter 1901 is played by itself automatically.


Spring 1901 Deadline is September 29th 2009 at 7:00am my time



Diplomacy “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” 2008A, S 07

Austria (Kevin Wilson - ckevinw “of” A Budapest – Rumania,

 F Greece - Aegean Sea (*Bounce*), F North Africa Supports F Western Mediterranean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean

 (*Void*), A Serbia Supports A Budapest – Rumania, A Trieste – Budapest, A Vienna – Galicia,

 A Warsaw Supports A Vienna - Galicia.

England (Jérémie LeFrançois - jeremie.lefrancois “of” F Baltic Sea - Livonia (*Bounce*),

 F Belgium Supports A London – Picardy, F Edinburgh – North Sea,

 F English Channel Convoys A London – Picardy, F Irish Sea - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), A London – Picardy,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Portugal (*Bounce*), A Moscow - Livonia (*Bounce*),

 F North Atlantic Ocean Supports F Irish Sea - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*),

 A Sevastopol Supports A Budapest - Rumania.

France (William Wood – woodw “of”  A Brest Supports A Gascony – Paris, A Gascony - Paris.

Germany (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” A Berlin – Silesia, A Kiel – Berlin,

 A Munich - Burgundy.

Italy (Don Williams – dwilliam “of” F Gulf of Lyon Convoys A Piedmont – Marseilles,

 F Marseilles – Piedmont, A Picardy Hold (*Disbanded*), A Piedmont – Marseilles,

 F Spain(nc) - Portugal (*Bounce*), F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc) (*Fails*).

Russia (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” A Rumania Hold (*Dislodged*, retreat to

 Ukraine or OTB).

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of” F Black Sea Convoys A Constantinople – Rumania,

 F Bulgaria(ec) Supports A Constantinople – Rumania, A Constantinople - Rumania (*Fails*),

 F Smyrna - Aegean Sea (*Bounce*).


The A/E/I Draw Fails


Summer/Fall 1907 Deadline is September 29th 2009 at 7:00am my time



None?  No Press?  Gimme a BREAK! 




Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, W 03/S 04

Austria (Stephen Agar – stephen “of” Build A Trieste..F Adriatic Sea Supports

 A Greece – Apulia, A Budapest – Galicia, A Trieste – Tyrolia, A Ukraine Supports A Budapest – Galicia,

 A Venice Supports A Trieste – Tyrolia, A Vienna Supports A Trieste - Tyrolia.

England (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” Build F Liverpool..F Liverpool - Irish Sea,

 F North Sea - English Channel, A Norway – Sweden, F Skagerrak – Norway, F St Petersburg(nc) Hold,

 A Wales Hold.

France (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 ”of” Remove F North Africa..

 A Belgium - Burgundy (*Fails*), A Paris Supports A Belgium – Burgundy,

 A Picardy Supports A Belgium – Burgundy, F Portugal - Spain(sc).

Germany (William Wood – woodw “of” A Burgundy - Belgium (*Fails*),

 F Denmark - Baltic Sea, A Holland Supports A Burgundy – Belgium, A Munich Supports A Tyrolia,

 A Ruhr Supports A Burgundy - Belgium.

Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” Build F Naples..A Marseilles – Piedmont,

 F Naples - Ionian Sea (*Fails*), F Spain(sc) - Gulf of Lyon,

 A Tyrolia Supports A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Dislodged*, retreat to Bohemia or OTB),

 F Western Mediterranean - Tunis.

Russia (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” A Moscow Supports A Warsaw,

 A Warsaw Supports A Moscow.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” Build F Smyrna..F Black Sea Supports A Sevastopol,

 F Constantinople - Aegean Sea, A Greece – Apulia, F Ionian Sea Convoys A Greece – Apulia,

 A Sevastopol Supports A Ukraine - Moscow (*Void*), F Smyrna - Eastern Mediterranean.


Summer/Fall 1904 Deadline is September 29th 2009 at 7:00am my time



Prime Minister to Smaug: Goose? Turkey? Me? *falls down laughing* No, seriously..... are you punning me?

England to Australia: Yoink! *Grabs the Urn containing the Ashes* Ours, methinks. Your bowlers have hardly done the business this year. Still, you've had a solid run.... but enough is enough. I'm bowled over by the fact that you've held it so long... Anyway, must dash, am off to meet my dear friend Freddie for tea. We're not having cheese sandwiches though, we decided to dismiss them for a duck.....

Germany to France:  Why couldn't we just talk it out?

Prime Minister to All: Doesn't anybody read my letters? I'm lonely. :(


Diplomacy “Bellicus” from Strange Meeting, Fall/Winter 1904

Austria (Terry Hayes – Telboy203 “of” No units.

England (Smiley McKinnon – Boltar35 “of” F Edinburgh – Clyde, A London Hold,

 F North Sea - Norway.

France (Pat Vogelsang – godawgsgo33 “of” A Belgium Supports A Burgundy,

 A Burgundy Supports A Bohemia – Munich, F English Channel Convoys A Picardy – Liverpool, A Gascony Hold,

 F Irish Sea Convoys A Picardy – Liverpool,  A Picardy - Liverpool.

Germany (Beartla de Burcabeartlab “of” F Denmark Hold (*Dislodged*, NRR, removed),

 A Holland Hold, A Munich – Kiel, A Silesia - Munich (*Fails*).

Italy (David Latimer – davidlatimeryork “of” F Adriatic Sea Supports A Trieste (*Cut*),

 A Trieste Hold (*Dislodged*, retreats to Tyrolia), F Tunis - Ionian Sea (*Bounce*), A Venice Supports A Trieste.

Russia (Chris Babcock – cbabcock “of” A Bohemia – Munich, A Galicia - Silesia (*Fails*),

 F Skagerrak – Denmark, A St Petersburg – Finland, F Sweden Supports F Skagerrak – Denmark,

 A Ukraine – Warsaw, A Vienna Supports A Budapest - Trieste.

Turkey (Phil Amos – p.v.a “of” F Aegean Sea - Eastern Mediterranean,

 F Albania - Adriatic Sea (*Fails*), F Black Sea – Ankara, A Budapest – Trieste, F Constantinople - Aegean Sea,

 F Greece - Ionian Sea (*Bounce*), A Serbia Supports A Budapest - Trieste.


Ownership of supply centers:

Austria:                        None, Eliminated

England:          Edinburgh, London, Norway=3, Even

France:            Belgium, Brest, Liverpool, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=7, Build 1

Germany:         Berlin, Holland, Kiel=3, Even

Italy:                Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice=4, Even

Russia:             Budapest, Denmark, Moscow, Munich, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden,

Vienna, Warsaw=9, Build 2

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Rumania, Serbia, Smyrna, Trieste=7, Build 1


France: Build A Paris.


Russia: Build F St Petersburg(nc), Build A Moscow.


Turkey: Build A Constantinople.




Anonymous: Be warned, this Italy has a backbone!  Any trespassers will be entangled for a LONG time.


Spring/Summer 1905 Deadline is September 29th 2009 at 7:00am my time



Diplomacy “Chimaera” from Strange Meeting, Fall/Winter 1904

Austria (Tim Deacon – unknown email, see below): A Budapest Supports A Vienna,

 A Serbia Supports A Rumania - Bulgaria, A Vienna Supports A Bohemia - Tyrolia (*Void*).

England (Nigel Pepper – nepper “of” F Belgium – Picardy, A Burgundy – Munich,

 F English Channel Supports A North Africa – Brest, F Holland Supports F Kiel,

 F Irish Sea Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Kiel Supports F Holland, 

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Convoys A North Africa – Brest, A North Africa - Brest.

France (Robert Jewett – Robert_Jewett “of” and robertjewett “of”

 A Brest Supports A Picardy - Paris (*Dislodged*, NRR, disbanded), A Munich Hold (*Disbanded*),

 A Picardy – Paris, F Portugal - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), A Ruhr Supports A Munich, F Spain(sc) - Marseilles.

Italy (Jimmy Cowiejcowie “of” F Albania - Ionian Sea, F Ionian Sea – Tunis,

 A Tyrolia - Bohemia (*Fails*), F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean, A Venice - Tyrolia (*Fails*).

Russia (Mike Oliverioliverima “of” F Ankara Supports A Constantinople,

 F Baltic Sea Supports A Berlin, A Berlin Supports A Burgundy – Munich, F Black Sea Supports A Constantinople,

 A Bohemia Supports A Burgundy - Munich (*Cut*), A Constantinople Supports A Rumania - Bulgaria,

 A Rumania - Bulgaria, A Sevastopol - Armenia (*Bounce*), A Silesia Supports A Burgundy - Munich.

Turkey (Eric Knibberic_knibb “of” F Aegean Sea - Bulgaria(sc) (*Fails*),

 A Bulgaria - Rumania (*Dislodged*, NRR, disbanded *Fails*), A Smyrna - Armenia (*Bounce*).


Tim Deacon has left his employment position, and is working on securing a new email address (from home most likely).  As soon as I hear from him I will let everybody know what it is.  In the meantime, as a backup, I am asking Jim Burgess (jfburgess “of” to submit standby orders for Austria, just in case.


Ownership of supply centers:

Austria:            Budapest, Serbia, Vienna=3, Even

England:          Belgium, Brest, Denmark, Edinburgh, Holland, Kiel, Liverpool, London,

Munich, Norway=10, Build 2

France:            Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=4, Even

Italy:                Naples, Rome, Trieste, Tunis, Venice=5, Even

Russia:             Ankara, Berlin, Constantinople, Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol,

St Petersburg, Sweden, Warsaw, Bulgaria=10, Build 1

Turkey:            Greece, Smyrna=2, Even


England: Build A London, Build A Liverpool.

England: Build A Warsaw.


Spring/Summer 1905 Deadline is September 29th 2009 at 7:00am my time




Russia – Austria: What do you say to loyalty?  Ah, I understand…silence.



Diplomacy “Albion” from Strange Meeting, Fall/Winter 1904

Turn Delayed!


Stephen emailed me to let me know that he was leaving on holiday and was still missing multiple sets of orders.  So when he returns he’ll track down who he can, and then adjudicate (probably a week from now or so).


Remember: Orders go to Stephen Agar!!!



Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse


Billy Ray Valentine: No activity.  I think he’s been arrested for panhandling, impersonating a legless and blind veteran.


Duke of York: Sells 500 Marks, 500 Lira.  Buys 961 Crowns.


Smaug the Dragon: Sells 500 Marks, 500 Lire, and 500 Rubles.  Buys 1500 Pounds.


Rothschild: Sells 500 Francs.  Buys 163 Crowns, 169 Pounds, 175 Lire, and 153 Piastres.


Baron Wuffet: Sucks his thumb and does nothing.


Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 Crowns.  Buys 614 Rubles.

VAIONT Enterprises: No activity…he doesn’t understand this game.


Insider Trading LLC: Sells 500 Crowns, 500 France.  Buys 515 Pounds, 458 Piastres.


Next Bourse Deadline is September 28th 2009 at 7:00pm my time




Smaug to Middle Earth: Tremble before me, miserable creatures! Once I dispatch the pathetic AEFGIRT, I'm coming to* _get you!_ */*snorts flames* Oh yes.


Duke of York to VAIONT: Now you're selling Crowns, good deal, again I will buy them in your wake.  Keep making these brilliant moves and I shall continue increasing my lead over you.  This turn I should move into fourth place....



Deviant Dip II – “Black Licorice” – 2009Brc08 – Spring 1902


Austria (John Walker - jwalker150 “of” A Budapest Supports A Vienna – Galicia,

 F Greece Supports A Serbia - Bulgaria (*Cut*), A Serbia - Bulgaria (*Fails*), A Trieste – Tyrolia (*Fails*),

 A Vienna - Galicia.  Also now has M Corsica.

England (Russell Blaurussblau “of” Belgium Hold, F Edinburgh - North Sea,

 A London – Wales, F North Sea - English Channel, F Norway Supports F Edinburgh - North Sea.  Also now has

 M Ireland.

France (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” with Don Williams ordering units): F Brest – Picardy,

 F Marseilles - Gulf of Lyon, A Paris – Burgundy, F Portugal - Spain(sc), A Spain – Marseilles.  Also now has

 M Sardinia.

Germany (Pete Gaughanraptormage “of” A Berlin Supports A Ruhr – Munich,

 F Denmark – Kiel, A Holland – Ruhr, A Ruhr - Munich.  Also now has M Iceland.

Italy (John David Galt – jdg “of” F Ionian Sea Convoys A Tunis – Apulia,

 F Naples Supports F Ionian Sea, A Rome – Venice, A Tunis - Apulia.  Also now has M Sicily.

Russia (Mark D Lew – markdlew “of” F Constantinople - Aegean Sea (*Fails*),

 A Galicia - Rumania (*Dislodged*, ret Boh, Sil, Fin, Gas), A Moscow – Ukraine, A Rumania - Serbia (*Fails*),

 F Sweden Holds English F Norway (Tightly), A Warsaw - Galicia (*Fails*).  Also now has M Cyprus.

Turkey (Jason Bergmann – jasonbergmann “of” F Aegean Sea - Greece (*Fails*),

 A Bulgaria Supports F Aegean Sea - Greece (*Cut*), A Sevastopol Supports A Galicia – Rumania,

 F Smyrna - Eastern Mediterranean.  Also now has M Crete.


Barbarians A Munich – Tyrolia (Destroyed).


Remember, all of these are now Marine units (Rule #19)!


RP’s (Rule #21): John Walker - 1; Russell Blau - 2; Jim Burgess - 2; Pete Gaughan - 0; John David Galt - 1; Mark D Lew - 2; Jason Bergmann - 1.


Official Standby Players, as needed: Jack McHugh  (jwmchughjr “of”, Hugh Polley (hapolley “of”


Votes by Nation:

Austria: 5 Yes for #19, 1 Yes for #23.

England: 1 No for #18, 1 Yes for #21, 2 Yes for #22, 2 for Barbarian Mun-Ruh.

France: 3 Yes for #14, 1 Yes for #16, 3 Yes for #25.

Germany: 1 Yes on #15, 1 No on #19, 1 Yes for #23, 1 Yes for #24, 1 for Barbarian Mun-Tyr.

Italy: 1 Yes on #15, 1 Yes on #17, 1 No on #23, 1 No on #24, 1 for Barbarian Mun-Tyr.

Russia:3 Yes for #15, 1 Yes for #16, 1 Yes for #22, 2 for Barbarian Mun-Tyr.

Turkey: 4 Yes for #15, 1 Yes for #23.


Rule explanations: 9 rules passed this turn, as the game quickly spirals into a madhouse.  Following the passed rules, anything shown in [[bold italics in double brackets]] is meant to help explain how these rules will be handled or adjudicated.  Additional questions should be asked either by email, or preferably in the Eternal Sunshine Yahoo forum so all players and non-players can see the questions.  The map will now use the first letter of each nation to designate units, instead of armies or fleets as they are all marine units.  Those letters will change to reflect Rule #16 beginning next turn.  Remember, votes are based on one more than the number of supply centers you had after LAST Fall, so they don’t include the new island centers yet.



Fall 1902 Deadline is September 28th at 7:00pm my time

This turn will include votes and moves (no new proposals)!


Proposed Rules:

Rule #27 – Secret Ballot (Proposed by John David Galt): The GM shall no longer reveal how any player spent his/her rule votes.  The total numbers of Yes and No votes on each rule, and the total number of votes expended for each other purpose (such as attempting to give an order to a Barbarian Horde), shall still be public information. The authorship of all rule proposals shall still be public information.

Rule #28 - Invisibility Spells (Proposed by John David Galt): Each Spring or Fall turn, each player may spend one of his rule votes to cause one of his units to become invisible.  The unit will act normally in all respects, but its location, and any orders to it, will be known only to its owner and the GM.  Invisibility takes effect immediately -- before the adjudication of orders on the same turn in which it is cast -- and only ends if the unit, at the end of any turn, is in a supply center which did not belong to the unit's owner at the beginning of that turn.  (On that turn its location is revealed but the order, if any, it received that turn is not.)  Neighboring units affected by the invisible unit will know whether their orders succeeded or not, but will not be told why.


Rule #29 - Musical Chairs (Proposed by Russell Blau): During each Winter adjustment phase, the GM will randomly select one of the surviving Great Powers and assign it randomly to one of the standby players, effective with the following Spring season.  The player formerly playing the selected Great Power will become a standby player.  Any player whose power is eliminated due to losing all supply centers will also become a standby player.


Rule #30 - British Naval Dominance (Proposed by Russell Blau):  Any non-English fleet in or adjacent to the Atlantic Ocean (defined as Bar, Nwg, Ska, Nth, Hel, NAO, MAO, Iri, and Eng, and all provinces having coastlines on any of those spaces), is sunk in a lightning raid by the Royal Navy, and disbanded.  This rule has one-time effect only, and does not affect ownership of any supply center.


Rule #31 - Take over the Dulcinea (Proposed by Jim Burgess): As soon as this is passed (i.e. in the same issue), a "Dulcinae II" board is created with all the players and unit positions of the Dulcinae game.  All of the Dulcinae players control their units on the Dulcinae II board as well as the original board, but initially (until modified by future rules in this game) cannot issue orders any differently from in Dulcinae I, their submitted orders are also executed on Dulcinae II.  Every Fall turn, each player on the Black Licorice board randomly will have one of its units cloned onto the Dulcinae II board in the same location and it annihilates any existing Dulcinae II unit in that space.  If the randomly chosen unit is in a "new space", the entire rule creating that space will also be transferred to the Dulcinae II board -- otherwise all rules on the Dulcinae board are as in Standard Diplomacy (at least for now).  These units have one free game year, the unit does not have to be in a supply center to stay on the Dulcinae II board, but after that must support themselves by taking centers on the Dulcinae II board, centers are counted separately on each board. 


Rule #32 - Take over Eternal Sunshine (Proposed by Jim Burgess): Rules proposed in Black Licorice can have real effects on other games in Eternal Sunshine.  If this rule passes and subsequent Black Licorice rules pass that affect other games, the GM/Publisher shall poll players in those games as to whether the Deviant rule shall take effect.  Any veto by any player in the "real" Eternal Sunshine game invalidates the Black Licorice rule for that game (rules proposed to affect multiple ES games can thus actually only affect a subset of those games).  These rules can be re-proposed, but can cause the GM to poll players in any given Eternal Sunshine game no more than once per Eternal Sunshine issue.


Rule #33 - Muzzle the Lawyers (Proposed by Mark D. Lew): Any player who has a law degree must abide by the following restrictions when writing rule proposals: His proposals
* may not contain more than five (5) numbered or lettered paragraphs.
* may not contain any numbered or lettered subparagraphs.
* may not include any word composed of "here", "there" or "where" attached to a preposition (eg, "hereby", "thereof", "whereas")
* may not be more than 500 words long.
* regardless of word length, may not be so long and boring that they make an ordinary person's eyes glaze over when reading.
* may not seek to gain personal advantage by means of lawyerly deviousness.

If any lawyer proposes a rule in violation of one or more of these restrictions, that rule will be disqualified and not put up for vote, and on the next turn the lawyer will lose one vote per violation.

Rule #34 - Snowball fighting! (Proposed by Mark D. Lew): During each winter season, each unit on the board may throw a snowball at any other unit on the board. When ordering throws, the player should specify a path of adjacent spaces, starting with the space occupied by the thrower and ending with the space of the target. (For snowball purposes, use adjacencies per the original map, ignoring any changes in game geography due to deviant rules. A snowball's path may include an impassable space such as Switzerland.) The path must be reasonably straight, as if drawing a straight line from somewhere in the one space to somewhere in the other, but will be judged generously if it seems close enough. If a path is clearly not straight, GM may either designate a new path with the same start and end space or else disqualify the throw as too preposterous.

Each snowball throw has a 1/N chance of hitting its target, where N is the length of the path including start and end spaces. It also has 1/N chance of hitting any unit in an intervening space along the path. Snowball throws are ordered with winter builds, but they are resolved after builds. Newly built units may neither throw nor be targeted, but they might be hit if they end up in an intervening path along a throw. Units about to be disbanded may throw or be targeted before they go, but they won't be around to get hit.

For each successful throw of length N=3 or more, the throwing player scores N style points. No style points are scored for hitting a unit other than the target, and no style points are scored for a throw of N=2. A player who scores eight or more style points in a turn gets one additional vote on rule proposals the following season. (Style points are not cumulative, and any number less than eight garners no voting benefit.)

Snowball hits taken by a unit are cumulative and tracked from year to year. During the winter season, any unit may, instead of throwing a snowball, be ordered to go inside and dry off. It takes no hits that winter and its cumulative total of hits is restored to zero. For each unit ordered to go inside and dry off, a player gets -5 style points that winter.

Any unit which suffers 20 snowball hits is considered pummeled and is treated as if in civil disorder for the rest of the game. It may not move or support during spring and fall turns. It also may not throw snowballs nor go inside during winter.

Rule #35 - Too Sirius (Proposed by Pete Gaughan): When any unit supports the move of another power, that unit must stand in the next Spring or Fall season and many not receive support in standing.


Rule #36 - In Democracy Flagrante (Proposed by Pete Gaughan): After all other rules are resolved, the number of votes permitted by each player is doubled.


Rule #37 - Strict Construction Good, Judicial Activism Bad (Proposed by Jason Bergmann):  Where any rule proposal is ambiguous, unclear, or subject to multiple interpretations, the GM shall construe such proposals narrowly.  Under this paradigm, the GM shall interpret ambiguous proposals to effect the least change to the game's rules that is consistent with the proposal's language.  This rule shall not affect the exercise of discretion that is granted to the GM specifically by other rule proposals.


Rule #38 - Scrambled Eggs (Proposed by Jason Bergmann):  At the end of Winter 1902, after builds, all units will be redistributed randomly among all passable spaces.  Armies landing in water will become fleets.  Fleets landing in non-oastal land spaces will become armies.  In addition, supply centers will be redistributed among all players.  After such redistribution, each player will have the same number of supply centers, but such centers will be randomlly chosen.  In Spring 1903, each player may designate three of his supply centers to be home centers.  (Russia may designate four)


Passed Rule Proposals:

Rule #1 - More Deviant Rule (Proposed by Jason Bergmann).  Paragraphs (5), (7), and (8) of the Deviant Diplomacy II variant rules are repealed and replaced with the following:


(1) Every Winter and Spring season, each starting player who controlled at least one supply center at the end of the previous Fall season may propose up to two rule changes.  Such players may choose to submit fewer than two rule proposals without consequence.


(2) Every Winter and Spring season, each starting player who controlled no supply centers at the end of the previous Fall season may propose up to one rule change.  Such players may choose to submit no rule proposals without consequence.


(3) Every Spring and Fall season, each starting player has a number of votes equal to one plus the number of supply centers the starting player controlled at the end of the previous Fall season. 


(4) Players may vote yes or no.  Players may cast all of their votes for or against any one rule proposal, or players can split yes and no votes among multiple rule proposals.  Players' votes are published.


(5) A no vote on any rule proposal cancels a yes vote.  The rule proposal receiving the most net yes votes goes into effect beginning the next season.  If more than one rule proposal tie for the most net yes votes, then all tied rules go into effect beginning the next season.  The rule proposal (or proposals) will go into effect even if the net yes votes are zero or negative.


(6) In addition to any rule proposals that go into effect under paragraph (5), additional rule proposals may also go into effect beginning the next season, if such proposals receive one or more net yes votes and if such proposals do not receive no votes from at least two different players.


(7) If two or more rule proposals would go into effect on the same turn but conflict explicitly or implicitly with each other, then both rules are null and void.


(8) The phrase "starting player" refers to the seven players who started this game, plus any standby player who succeeds the position of a starting player in this game.  The word "player" includes all starting players and all other persons who enter the game as a result of the passage of additional rules.


(9) This rule may be amended or repealed only by any rule proposal going into effect under paragraph (5).  Any rule proposal going into effect under paragraph (6) that amends or repeals this rule, or which conflicts explicitly or implicitly with the terms of this rule, will have no effect.


Rule #8 - "Barbarian Hordes, or the Excess Profits Tax." (Proposed by John David Galt).  When any power captures three or more supply centers (which he did not already own) in a single fall season, neutral armies known as "Barbarian Hordes" are immediately built in half of those centers (rounded down), selected at random by the GM.  This happens before the owner can build.

Once at least one Barbarian Horde exists on the board, player(s) may spend any or all of their rule votes to attempt to give an order to a Barbarian Horde.  Each Horde follows the order to it that gets the most votes.  If a Horde receives no orders, it is in disorder and holds.

If two or more orders to a Horde get the same number of votes, the tied orders are cancelled and Horde obeys the non-tied order with the most votes, even if that is a smaller number of votes than the tied orders got.

Barbarian Hordes are amphibious -- they can move to any land space as if they were armies, and to any water space as if they were fleets.  They cannot convoy or be convoyed.  They can support and be supported.  They cannot retreat, and are destroyed if dislodged -- but that is the only way to destroy them, because they do not need supply.

If a Barbarian Horde occupies a supply center after a Fall turn, that center becomes unowned.  However, a newly built Barbarian Horde does not affect the ownership of its starting location in the Fall turn in which it is built.

When a Barbarian Horde is built, the unit which captured that space is destroyed (thus allowing the owner to rebuild it normally in the Winter turn immediately afterward, if he holds enough centers).


Rule #13 – “The Duck Escapes Rule” (Proposed by Don Williams): Due to inept leadership, poor press writing, and insufficient cerebral bandwidth the French Republic under Don “Le Duc” Guillaume is swept away in a monstrously effective coup d’etat.  A new government and extremely popular government – to be headed by the extraordinarily handsome, exceptionally erudite, and press-prolific James “Le Burgess du L’Isle du Rhodes” Burgess – is immediately installed.  Tragically, as “Le Duc” is dragged straightforward to the guillotine for his just come-uppance, he is permanently unavailable to be re-called into this travesty of a dip game.


Rule #14 - Duck Williams Heart of Darkness Rule (Proposed by Jim Burgess): While Don Williams may be "out of the game" one can never be OUT of this game. Two new Provinces in Africa are created by this rule, accessed from Belgium (for obvious reasons) and London.  Belgium now also is attached to the Upper River province, which in turn is attached to the Lower River Province, which in turn is attached to London.  Only Fleets may enter this "river pathway" between London and Belgium, convoys may be made through it if two fleets are in it.  The first fleet entering this pathway is forever afterward dubbed "Marlow's Steamship" (again for obvious reasons) and that player shall then document to the GM (via CC or other means) E-Mails, phone calls, text messages, Facebook/Twitter postings etc. to Don Williams where they say "The horror, the horror!"  Besides driving Don nuts, Marlow's Steamship shall never be able to be dislodged or removed in the game (regardless of whether it has a supporting supply center) as long as the GM (in his infinite wisdom of how to bug people) views that the owner of Marlow's Steamship has sufficiently bugged Don that month.  [[For the basis of this rule “fleet” now refers to “marine unit.”]]


Rule #15 - Habsburg Relocation Act (Proposed by Mark D. Lew): Besieged by enemies on all sides, the Habsburg emperor pleads to Heaven for deliverance! Heaven answers, and the core of the empire is removed from Europe and transplanted to a paradise island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

The four spaces of Vie, Bud, Tri, and Ser are transplanted: They are no longer adjacent to Boh, Gal, Rum, Bul, Gre, Alb, Adr, Ven, or Tyo. They are each adjacent to Mid (and thus have a coast now). They retain their normal adjacency with respect to each other. Any units currently occupying those spaces are transplanted with them. The area where those spaces used to be is now a large impassable void.  [[Vie, Bud, Tri, and Ser will each have only one coast, and will still be known by their original names.]]

Rule #16 - Drench the Vermin! (Proposed by Mark D. Lew): France, Russia and Germany are renamed Drance, Nussia, and Verminy. Whenever reporting game results, GM must list countries in the following order: Drance, England, Verminy, Italy, Austria, Nussia, Turkey.

Rule #17 - "Teleport Gates" (Proposed by John David Galt): The North Atlantic becomes adjacent to the Eastern Med.  The Gulf of Bothnia becomes adjacent to the Western Med.  Galicia becomes adjacent to Burgundy.

Rule #19 – “Marines” (Proposed by John Walker): All units are made into units called Marines.   Marines can move on Land, Water or by Air.  Marines have no movement restrictions if by air.  Air Movement takes 2 turns to complete, either a spring-fall or a fall-spring.  [[By this rule, there are no longer convoys.  Coasts are no longer necessary to specify, as the Marine units may move by land and sea.  Movements by air must be specified as “by air” or “via air.”  Destinations of air movements will not be revealed to the rest of the board until the 2nd turn, although the player MUST specify the destination with the original order; if you order Moscow – Paris via air, the first adjudication will merely state Moscow – Moscow Air.  The next adjudication will report Moscow Air – Paris.  If the landing fails due to a bounce or other interference, the unit returns to the original location the following movement season.  However, if unable to land at the location of origin because of a bounce or because it is occupied, the Marine which had attempted the air movement is destroyed, crashing due to lack of fuel.  Once a unit is in the air, the space it used to occupy can be immediately occupied.  In the above example, Moscow would be considered unoccupied immediately, so an uncontested move of Ukraine – Moscow would succeed even if ordered in the same season as Moscow – Moscow Air.]]


Rule #21 - "It's All About the Rules" Rule (Proposed by Russell Blau):  Beginning with the season this rule goes into effect, each player (as defined in the More Deviant Rule) receives one Rule Point (RP) for each rule proposed by that player that goes into effect.  For every season in which voting takes place, each player receives one vote for each RP they hold, in addition to all votes provided for in other rules. Clause (9) of the Deviant Diplomacy II rules is repealed. The Victory Condition for this game is to control a majority of the awarded RPs, provided that no player can win the game until the total number of RPs awarded is greater than one-half the number of supply centers in existence.


Rule #22 - "Continent-Wide Web version 2.0" (Proposed by Russell Blau): Every passable space on the map is adjacent to the spaces immediately before and after it in alphabetical order. The list wraps around, so Yorkshire is adjacent to Adriatic Sea, and vice versa. All new coastlines created by this rule are considered to be contiguous to existing coastlines -- so, for example, a fleet that enters Yorkshire from the Adriatic can exist to the North Sea, and vice versa -- and new land boundaries created by this rule do not interrupt any existing coastlines. Each space's name is alphabetized based on how it is printed on the official map on the copy of The Game used by the GM. In addition, at the end of the Fall 1902 season, the GM will randomly select one land space for each power, from among all land spaces within that power's 1901 boundaries that is (a) not a supply center and (b) not occupied by any unit, which will immediately become a buildable home supply center for that power.  [[In effect, the new adjacencies are “worm hole” passages, because they do not change any other aspects of the board.  St. Petersburg is considered to be spelled out as Saint.  I haven’t found any, but if someone discovers before next turn that this rule contradicts Rule #15 by making Vie, Tri, Ser, or  Bud adjacent again to any of their original neighbors, then both rules are null and void by Rule #1 clause 7.  As I mentioned, I haven’t found that to be the case, but I could be wrong.  If no such contradiction is pointed out to me by the next deadline, both rules stand regardless.]]


Rule #23 – “Island grabbing” (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): Effective immediately: Iceland is a German Home Center containing a German Fleet; Ireland is an English Home Center containing an English fleet; Corsica is an Austrian Home Center containing an Austrian Fleet; Sardinia is a French Home Center containing a French Fleet; Sicily is an Italian Home Center containing an Italian army; Crete is a Turkish Home Center Containing a Turkish Fleet; Cyprus is a Russian Home Center containing a Russian fleet.  All such spaces are now passable.  The Eternal Sunshine map shall be used to determine what other spaces to which they are adjacent.  In addition, Sicily and Naples are adjacent to each other, and Corsica and Sardinia are adjacent to each other.  [[“Fleet” now refers to “Mariine.”]]


Rule #25 - The Boob Says Nay and Ducks (Proposed by Jim Burgess): Jim-Bob has NO interest in actually playing this game, so he gives control of all the units back to Don "The Duck" Williams.  So as to meet the criteria of the previously passed "unlucky" Rule 13, Don is NOT actually re-called into the game.  He just has to control all the units.  The Boob will retain all the voting and rule-proposing rights that are the only reason anyone would actually want to play this insane game and define who the actual players are.  If this rule passes, the Boob (aka Jim-Bob) can never push a piece, order a unit, or any other order writing construct that anyone cares to propose for any power for the rest of the game.  [[Don Williams will now be called on to submit movement orders for French units.]]



This is the all powerful EFGIATR: Now let's see who is paying attention....

This is the all powerful EFGIATR - Deviant you are toast.  Prepare to be overrun.


Austria - Turkey:  can you not stand so close.  You smell.


Russia to Turkey:  I agree, you smell.


England to everyone:  We hereby surrender to Austria.  Please send your advisors so we can surrender.


The Egg to the Chicken:  Let’s have dinner.


GERMANY to All-Powerful TARDIS (or whatever you're calling yourself): If you're so powerful, get me a Guinness.


Peter Pan to everyone:  I am off to play pirates with the lost boys.

(Paris) Le Empereur Boob is determined to get out of this game one way or the other; if he cannot do it by changing the rules, he will do it by ticking off all his neighbors so that they form a grand alliance to eliminate him.


(Berlin) He only keeps calling himself "Boob" because he thinks we all like Boobs. Please take every opportunity to call him "Spleen" or "Bone Spur" instead.


Germany to France:  Can we buy monkeys and let them be our Air Force?


Switzerland to Austria:  They will never let you win.  Switzerland will win.


GERMANY to BOOB: I, for one, am certainly not trying to play this like a Diplomacy game. After all, if I did that, I would be assured of losing.


Dateline Berlin:  The horde are coming.  Run for your lives.


Dateline Paris:  That's not the horde.  It's the Aleutians.


Sweden to Norway: Hold me. I'm scared.



Black Press Gunboat, “Maple Sugar,” 2009Crb32, Spring 1901

Austria: A Budapest – Serbia, F Trieste - Venice (*Bounce*), A Vienna - Galicia.

England: F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea, A Liverpool – Edinburgh, F London - North Sea.

France: F Brest - English Channel, A Marseilles – Burgundy, A Paris - Picardy.

Germany: A Berlin – Kiel, F Kiel – Holland, A Munich - Ruhr.

Italy: F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Rome - Venice (*Bounce*), A Venice - Tyrolia.

Russia: A Moscow - St Petersburg, F Sevastopol – Rumania, F St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of Bothnia,

 A Warsaw - Ukraine.

Turkey: F Ankara - Black Sea, A Constantinople – Bulgaria, A Smyrna - Constantinople.


Fall 1901 Deadline is September 29th 2009 at 7:00am my time



Austria to World: The Emperor will be keeping a close eye on world events looking for anti-Austrian moves.  He will react quickly to unfriendly moves and try to reward friendly moves in kind.  Here are Austria's 1901 moves; tri-ven, vie-gal,bud-ser.  No need for any neighbor to worry.


Examples of unfriendly moves, Any movement to Tyr or Boh or (Gal after spring 01) these are AH protected lands any movement or retreat there will be considered an hostile act.  The movement of an Army to Greece or Rumania directly threaten the fatherland and will result in War.  


Moves which will shock and please AH to no end.  Austria will smile upon and seek to reward any power moving in a pro-Austrian manner. Examples: A Ven-Apulia, Rome-Ven will result in F Tri-Alb and no build Tri; A War-Mos will result in Gal S F ??-Rum if required or gal-bud.  A Bul S Ser-Gre, will be viewed with shock, and gratitude and support of Bul.


Austria knows it can never be a super power and seeks peace with all neighbors, but beware AH can be a tough nut to crack and while you pound my borders other will take advantage and move on your position.


Emperor Charles the Great


Sou - English lover: A bounce, sans doute. If not, pardonnez-moi, mon cher; I will shift ma derrière douce to Belgium tout de suite. x

This is radio free Moscow speaking and just to let you know that I am an honest man looking for some friends. You have no reason to believe me but time will prove you wrong.

Sou - German Liebling: I feel sure Burgundy remains empty, but if not, I will soon be visiting my new Flemish lace mills and far from your homeland (ah, les memoires de boudoir München). x

Sou - Latin amore: We must meet again soon (ahh, così bello, così forte); but not in the Med, naturellement. x

Sou - Mysteries of the East: I hope avec tous ma coeur, to get to know all of you intimately very, very soon. xxx


By Popular Demand

Credit goes to Ryk Downes, I believe, for inventing this.  The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer.  Your score for this answer will be doubled.  In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.  Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds.  A prize will be awarded to the winner.


Round 9 Categories

1. A Diplomacy zine no longer being published.

2. A Winnie the Pooh character other than Winnie.

3. Something many people are scared of.

4. A Halloween costume.

5.  Something you keep in the glove compartment of a car.


Selected Comments By Category:

Zine – Jamie McQuinn “If Maniac’s Paradise isn’t the unanimous answer, I’ll be shocked.”  Dane Maslen “I've no idea what a good answer for number 1 would be (given that the majority of your readers are American) so I'll settle for trying to ingratiate myself with the GM instead.”

Winnie the Pooh – Brendan Whyte “Although the immigrant single mother, Kanga, is also likely to be popular.  All those guys and only one female, and she’s obviously fecund and “bouncy.”  Andy York “Roo was my first choice, with Kanga my second; but, I think more will think of Robin - though Eeyore is a good option - planning to come down for the annual birthday party next spring?” Philip Murphy “Actually I find Tigger creepily scary.”


Scared – John Colledge “I have a friend who has a fear of peas – he once chased one round his plate in a restaurant until he was able to remove the offending article with a flourish.”  Brendan Whyte “Though American Capitalist Imperialist Hegemony works just as well.”  Andy York “Ghost would be second, with the next category, maybe bats, snakes or spiders as other options.”  Kevin Wilson “My wife cannot even look at a picture of a snake without gasping.” Philip Muphy “I hate spiders almost as much as I hate bees.  But I do like honey.”


Halloween – Dane Maslen “I'll be disappointed if WITCH doesn't do well - it was the answer that leapt immediately to mind, and I see from a Wikipedia article that it was the most popular Halloween costume for adults in 2008 (and the second most popular for children).”

Glove Compartment – Rick Desper “Does anybody keep actual gloves in the glove compartment?”  John Colledge “I’m tempted to say gloves but that would just be silly!”  Tom Swider “Ironically, nobody keeps gloves in their glove compartment.”  Michael Moulton “Tempting to state the obvious `gloves,’ but nobody does that anymore.”  Dane Maslen “I know GLOVES is a silly answer for number 5 - they're probably the one thing you won't find in most glove compartments these days - but as I can't think of any 'obviously correct' answer (probably because I don't own a car so don't have experience of stuffing rubbish into a glove compartment), I'll go for the answer suggested by the category and hope that a few other people do the same.”  Andy York “Let's see, maps, coupons, tire gauge, car manual are about all that's in mine.”  Paraic Reddington “How many smart arse answers of gloves will you get?  My guess is six.  I’m tempted to say a loaded Smith and Wesson 45.”  Philip Murphy “I don't drive much and I don't own my own car. Though I suspect map is a boring, and safe, answer.”  Jim Burgess “Answer should be a gun, but I don’t think enough people will choose that.”



Phil Murphy gets the turn’s high score with 60.  That’s only 3 off the maximum possible score (by getting all the most popular answers and placing the joker on Tigger).  Only one round left…is Phil within reach of losing the top spot?  We’ll see!


Round 10 Categories – Deadline is September 29th, 2009 at 7:00am my time

1. A brand of coffee you can buy at the grocery store.

2. Someone who appeared during the first season of Saturday Night Live.

3. A comic book hero.

4. A film that is too strange or complicated to be understood.

5.  A type of wood.


General Deadline for The Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:

Sept. 29th 2009 at 7:00am my time – See You Then!