Eternal Sunshine #38

March 2010

By Douglas Kent, 11111 Woodmeadow Pkwy #2327, Dallas, TX 75228

Email: doug of or diplomacyworld of

On the web at – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at  Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at  Also remember to check out for official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his available merchandise!  Links to many of the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button in the main menu of the Whining Kent Pigs website.  Or go to where women can learn all the secrets of how a man’s mind works, and why they act the way they do.

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Quote Of The Month “Don't be a monster, Howard. Tell the poor girl. You can have him, sweetie. You did.” (Hollis in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)


Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy subzine in the known universe which is sanctioned by the Global Diplomacy Alliance.  So be jealous, be envious…you should be. 


I don’t have a lot to say this month.  Work has been beating my brains in, far too many hours every week.  So I’m not left with that much energy to work on this.  I wasn’t even sure if I was going to find the motivation to do the next part of Fire and Rain.  Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view) I’ve managed to get a few paragraphs down, and I might do a few more before this whole thing is finished.  The problem I have sometimes (and this is one of those occasions) is that if I want to continue the entry, it’s going to require doing almost as much as I’ve already written this issue; that’s how long I think it would take to get to the next logical stopping point.  So, instead, I think I will simply leave it as is.  At least those of you who are following along are being given something more to read this month, instead of me skipping Fire and Rain altogether.


Then again, on the other hand, I did get the sudden urge during the month to write a couple of random essays; one on producing music and one on Hollywood’s never-ending remake (or ruining) festival.  Since they are not of an extremely personal nature, they’re a lot easier to scribble down, and I’ve had the topics knocking around in my head recently.  So between those, Fire and Rain, and columns by Andy York and Jack McHugh (with one from Paul Milewski expected to arrive before this gets posted to the internet) there should be enough non-game material to entertain a few of you.  If not…well, too bad!


In game news, I decided to add two new Diplomacy variant openings to the mix, both by the late Phil Reynolds: African Diplomacy and Asian Diplomacy II.  The rules and maps to both are included elsewhere in this issue, so take a look and think about signing up!  I ran both successfully in my old zine Maniac’s Paradise (in fact I think I ran African Diplomacy two or three times).  They are simple variants; basically the same as Diplomacy, just different maps and different nations.  I don’t have much else to report on the games front, but if you have any suggestions for future game offerings please let me know.  Hmmm…I’m trying to think what other games I ran in Maniac’s Paradise.  In Avalon Hill multiplayer games I ran Kremlin, Civilization, Enemy in Sight, and The Stock Market Game.  Maybe one of them sounds interesting to a few of you?  Drop me a line.


So, on with a few other topics of importance…





Here is a photo of Pounce Lickittys Cat Treats.  It comes in a small pouch which is about 3 inches wide and 3 ½ inches high.  Originally you could find them here and there, but especially at PetSmart or some major discount chains like Big Lots.  Now DelMonte has discontinued them.  WE NEED MORE!  So, here’s the deal, if you find any, buy them.  They generally cost $1 each up to $1.50.  I’ll take as many as 40 from any Eternal Sunshine reader in the U.S., but if you find more email me immediately.  And of course I will pay to ship them too.  If you’re outside the U.S. tell me what you found (how many and at what price).  Sanka will be your friend for life.


















And here’s the front of a postcard Don Williams sent us from Hawaii, to show what lengths he is willing to travel to avoid sending in his orders:



See you next month!


The Month’s Playlist (Retro all Month): Class Clown – George Carlin; She’s So Unusual – Cyndi Lauper; Rumors – Fleetwood Mac; The Man From Utopia – Frank Zappa; Vertigo: The Singles Collection – Graham Parker and the Romour; Hey Jupiter EP – Tori Amos; The Very Best of Supertramp – Supertramp.



Produced by…


When it comes to music, I am a liner note reader (which could be one of the many reasons I want the physical CD or other medium in my hand, rather than just downloading the songs).  I get an odd pleasure from seeing connections between one release and another.  Sometimes they are in completely different genres, or 30 years apart.  But you recognize a rhythm section, or the feel of a particular producer, or the lyrical style of a songwriter.  It can be obvious, or I can turn out to be completely wrong.  And sometimes obscure facts come to me years later.  Adrian Belew helped write “Oh Daddy” off of “Rumors”?  Who is that singing background vocals on this song?  Gary Wright contributed keyboards to George Harrison’s Cloud 9 album?


For whatever reason, I’ve been mentally building a great appreciation for the diverse production skills of two “studio genius” types in the last 12 months: Todd Rungdren and Jerry Harrison.  I’ll buy a CD, enjoy it, and realize the production is similar in some ways to something else…then lo and behold, discover that it was produced by a familiar name.


Jerry Harrison is of course best known for his work with The Talking Heads, and that was where he learned his production chops.  It’s impossible to determine, in a collective setting like that, how much influence one person has over the final product, and in this case you also have the strong personality of David Byrne to deal with.  But a quick look at some of the other work Harrison has done beyond the scope of The Talking Heads or his solo projects reveals just how terrific the results can be when he is teamed with a musical act he doesn’t butt heads with (always the danger of trying to act as producer).  In his position as producer, Harrison has helped a number of artists create their best work (and occasionally their only successful releases).  There are obscure acts like the one-shot “super-group” Neurotic Outsiders, or the one-hit wonders Crash Test Dummies (Harrison produced their only successful album God Shuffled His Feet).  You’ll find his name on work from No Doubt, the Pat McGee Band, the Violent Femmes, and Kenny Wayne Shepherd.  My favorite production projects by him have to be his albums with Live (notably Throwing Copper and The Distance to Here), The Raw and the Cooked by The Fine Young Cannibals, Villains by The Verve Pipe, and I’d Rather Eat Glass by Bijou Phillips (youngest daughter of Papa John Philips).  And I still consider Outside Looking In by The BoDeans to be their finest album, due in large part to the open, acoustic feel Harrison painted across the songs.


On the other hand, Todd Rungdren’s work should be much more familiar to you.  From his first production work – The Great Speckled Bird’s self-titled album, Rungdren has found himself at the helm of a number of albums which are considered either the best of an artist, or the most commercially successful (or both).  And his choice of projects is widely varied.  In terms of commercial success, there’s We’re an American Band and Shinin’ On by Grand Funk, two albums that stand the test of time and helped move the band forward from a three-piece to a full-sounding four piece (with the addition of the great Craig Frost on keyboards, who later created the magical piano work on most of Bob Seger’s best known songs).  Then there’s the original Bat Out of Hell by Meat Loaf.  For my generation, that’s an album hard to tire of.  Rungdren worked during the difficult late-Apple Records period with Badfinger, producing their third album and two songs off their fourth before giving up.  From the debut album by the New York Dolls to progressive Steve Hillage’s album “L” you can find his handiwork.  And let us not forget Skylarking by XTC and Forever Now by The Psychadelic Furs.  Not everything Rungdren touches turns to gold, but many are regarded as classics or the band’s personal favorites (Next Position Please by Cheap Trick and Remote Control by The Tubes are excellent examples).  Again, I’m leaving out all his solo work and Utopia albums, because they’re obvious.


So the next time you’re enjoying a CD, read through the liner notes, and make a note of the songwriters, musicians, and producers.  Maybe you’ll see some loose ends begin to tie together.  I’d love to hear comments from ES readers, either on these examples or on their own favorite industry names (musicians, producers, songwriters, etc.)




Let’s Take Something Terrific…and Ruin it!


Look, I love movies.  You know that by now.  I love great movies, silly movies, funny movies, cheesy movies, classic movies…even a few TERRIBLE movies.  And because Heather and I try to see as many films as we can in the theater instead of just watching them at home, we know we’re both sort of out of step with the modern-day movie-goer.  CGI images can really distract me.  Transforming robots do nothing for me.  Avatar may be the greatest visual film in history, but if I want to watch Dancing With Wolves I’ll watch the original.  For me, the story is primary (except in rare occasions where it is a combination of story and visual, such as Yellow Submarine).  Does it make me think?  Does it make me cry?  Does it make me laugh?  Does it frighten me?  Is it interesting enough so that I don’t know EXACTLY how it will end 15 minutes in?


It is also no secret that Hollywood is devoid of ideas.  And the financial side of moviemaking has changed what does and does not work.  These days a terrible action film with almost no dialogue – and what there is, clichéd and robotic – is more likely to be globally successful.  So the plot and the dialogue has less and less importance.  Finding quality films with original ideas and great acting is harder and harder to do.  Fortunately, I still have older movies I can turn back to when the latest releases leave me bored.


I think it is the fact that these old releases remain unknown to the modern-day public is why I find the non-stop stream of remakes to be so sinful (for lack of a better word).  Yes, I know; today’s generation would find a hundred reasons not to want to enjoy an old Hitchcock film, or the original Dirty Harry, or Bridge Over the River Kwai.  But I just don’t get it.  If you want to remake a movie, fine, go ahead.  But do you have to make such a TERRIBLE remake?  One so wrenchingly awful that NOBODY who is first exposed to the film with the remake would EVER want to take the time to see the original?


Look, you want to remake Godzilla?  Go ahead.  The original requires a certain connection to your childhood to enjoy it.  Want to do another modern retelling of The Taming of the Shrew under a different name?  Have fun.  Want to take a terrible movie like Point Break, remake it as The Fast and the Furious, and then remake THAT?  Fine, they all suck, go nuts.  But do you have to ruin good, or great, films?


Yes, this is a simple bitch-fest.  So allow me, if you will, to give a short list of examples of films I wish they never had remade (or wish they would cancel plans to remake, depending on the individual film itself).


The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 – Classic Walter Matthau and a fitting tribute to the NY Transit System becomes another John Travolta abomination.


The Bad News Bears – Does Hollywood hate Matthau for some reason?  Did he owe a lot of people money when he died or something?  Nobody can replace his Buttermaker.


The Birds – Hitchcock should be off limits.


Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – I don’t care if Roald Dahl’s widow says he didn’t like the original musical.  For kids at that time, it was magical.  So leave the damn thing alone.  Gene Wilder during his best years.


Clash of the Titans – The cheese factor is big in this one, but that’s the way I prefer it.


Flight of the Phoenix – Why did they even bother?  Gonna remake The Dirty Dozen next?  Ooops, guess what…they are.  When they decide to remake The Great Escape, I will go postal.


Footloose – Yes, it is a goofy 80’s movie.  So what?  Just leave it be.


Fun With Dick and Jane – It wasn’t worth remaking really, so why bother?


The In-Laws – Sacrilege.  Arkin and Falk cannot be remade.  Take perfection, and dump feces all over it.  Thanks.


The Longest Yard – A fun and original movie becomes yet another vehicle for the least talented man in Hollywood. 


The Manchurian Candidate – What a waste of time.  Just makes me ill.  The original is still under-appreciated.


Planet of the Apes – As goofy as the later films were, they actually built them all into a semi-coherent story arc.  But the first film…it never gets old.


Psycho – See “The Birds.”


Sabrina – This wasn’t a total disaster…just taking a great film and turning it into a boring one.


Romancing the Stone – Is Hollywood completely out of comedic ideas?


Meatballs – There is NO way any remake can have the fun and the quirky hilarity of the original.  Low-budget, cast with unknowns (except Bill Murray), and captured the feeling of summer camp perfectly.  I wish the remake all the success of Caddyshack 2.


Back to School – Let’s take one of Rodney’s best movies, and redo it as a vehicle for Cedric the Entertainer.  This is like watching “The Big Picture” and seeing Kevin Bacon’s film turned from a black-and-white character study into “Beach Nuts.”  Rodney and Sam Kinneson are cursing the Earth from hell, or wherever they are now.


Arthur and 10 – I guess they were just waiting until Dudley Moore’s corpse was cold.


Rosemary’s Baby – You have got to be kidding me.  This is STILL a tremendous movie, forgetting the fact that Roman Polanski directed it.  There is NO reason to remake it.  ZERO.  STOP!!


Hellraiser – I don’t have quite the same problem with remaking horror films, although I still believe the original Halloween and Friday the 13th are far superior.  These days the remakes just throw blood and brain matter everywhere.  No more fear.


Red Dawn – Not sure how we can remake this, unless we replace the Russians and Cubans with the Chinese.  But why bother?  The original is fun, and filled with young stars. 


Yellow Submarine – I wish I was dead.  A psychedelic journey into a magical world, enjoyed by adults and children alike.  Does Sony need the money so badly?


Charade – They changed the name to The Truth About Charlie, but that still doesn’t change the pointless destruction this remake did of a fabulous movie.  If you’ve never seen Charade, the latest DVD versions have much better sound quality then the old VHS releases.


True Grit – This is one I am almost willing to give a chance to, if only because the Coen Brothers are doing it.  I’m willing to admit their take may be - at least - interesting.


What about you?  Any least-favorite remakes (released or planned)?




The Eternal Sunshine Football Prediction Contest Results


The season is over, and now it is time to tally up the scores.  Remember, scoring was very simply: you get one point for each correct division winner, and one point for correctly selecting the wild card teams (two per conference).  Then you get two points for each team you correctly choose as conference championship (meaning they play in the Super Bowl), and three points for correctly picking the Super Bowl winner.  NOBODY correctly predicted ANY of the Conference Champs.  Boy do we SUCK!  But the final scores are below.


By random selection (meaning I asked Heather to pick a number between 1 and 2 without her having any idea what I was asking about) Rick Desper is declared the winner.  Rick, I will be emailing you about your prize selections shortly if I haven’t already!  And now, everybody can participate in the ES Baseball Prediction Contest, found immediately following this section.




The Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest


Since pitchers and catchers have now reported, it is time to make your predictions.  The contest is simple: you get one point for each correct division winner, and one point for correctly selecting the wild card teams (one per league).  Then you get two points for each team you correctly choose as league champion (meaning they play in the World Series), and three points for correctly picking the World Series winner.  We’re not picking winners for individual playoff games…just the division winners, wild card teams, and who goes to the World Series.  Any commentary you want to include with your picks is welcome.  And remember, like all Eternal Sunshine contests, there will actually be a REAL PRIZE for the winner!  In fact, if we get enough entries, I’ll give one to the runner-up too.  If you’ve got any questions, just ask me. So send in an entry and join in the fun!  I think I’ll even give my own picks next issue.  All entries will be published next issue, so get them in by the deadline!  In case you need reminding (or if you are not a baseball fan and just want to see if you can guess the winners and embarrass these so-called experts), the teams are as follows:


American League East: New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Tampa Bay Rays, Toronto Blue Jays, Baltimore Orioles.


American League Central: Minnesota Twins, Detroit Tigers, Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Kansas City Royals.


American League West: Los Angeles Angels, Texas Rangers, Seattle Mariners, Oakland Athletics.


National League East: Philadelphia Phillies, Florida Marlins, Atlanta Braves, New York Mets, Washington Nationals.


National League Central: St. Louis Cardinals, Chicago Cubs, Milwaukee Brewers, Cincinnati Reds, Houston Astros, Pittsburgh Pirates.


National League West: Los Angeles Dodgers, Colorado Rockies, San Francisco Giants, Dan Diego Padres, Arizona Diamondbacks.


Deadline for Picks: March 29th 2010 at 7pm my time




Fire and Rain – Part Four


Once our divorce was final, Mara seemed to have finally given up on the idea that she could somehow move back to Dallas and live with me as a roommate.  Either that, or she simply found herself too involved with the life she was trying to build in Florida to think of escape any longer.  A few of the details of the events of the time remain fuzzy in my brain, which is partially because so much drama was going on with Mara, and partially because of how heavily I was drinking during this period.


Of any time in my life, this was the only time I found that I was drinking more than I actually planned to.  And that did bother me; it seemed to be a true lack of control.  In other eras, I didn’t drink at all (either because I was using drugs, or because I didn’t want to use anything at all), or I drank when I felt the urge.  If I drank enough to actually be inebriated, it was usually by design.  I’d think to myself “I want to get smashed tonight” and I’d go ahead and do it, enjoying both the sort of out-of-body experience a spinning room would have on me, and the temporary peace in my brain when the guilt and regrets and misery were overwhelmed by the deadening power of alcohol. 


The failure and guilt I felt about Mara and the marriage (although in my mind the whole relationship was all-encompassing; the part where we were not married was no different) ate away at me daily.  My on-again-off-again relationship with my girlfriend was doing nothing but making me feel even more desolate, yet I was unable to break free of it.  Every time we’d call it quits, she’d want to be friends again, which would soon lead to sex, and then an unannounced resumption of the relationship.  My career was dead, my new job was terribly stressful (and did not pay very much), I had lost my health insurance (and with that dropped any prescription medication I was on), I had a really bad tooth which I knew would eventually develop an abscess, I was living in a shitty apartment where my living room had no furniture…and nothing I was doing seemed to be with the future in mind.  Looking back, I realize I wasn’t really thinking about the future, or even admitting I was going to have one. 


Still, my excessive drinking was really bugging me.  It’s one thing to decide to get drunk.  It’s another thing altogether to go to the bar and order a burger and a dark beer, and wind up drinking six of them.  Twice during this period I actually got sick off of alcohol, which is something I had only done once in my life before (and that was after drinking six Tom Collins and six lemon drop shots on an empty stomach in a 60 minute span).  But here I found myself overdrinking – unintentionally or at least without planning – and vomiting afterwards, while passed out or nearly unconscious.  That scared me, when I was sober.  The last thing I wanted to do was die choking on my own vomit in a drunken stupor.  Or, scarier, maybe that was what I wanted…maybe my attempts at self-destruction were getting more and more overt.  Fear of death had long been the main reason I’d never made a serious suicide attempt, despite all the times in my life I’d thought about it, considered it, or even planned it. 


Perhaps at a different time, or without the knowledge I had then, I would have continued to drink like that until I never woke up.  But Mara’s suicide attempt had solidified in my mind the fact that I never wanted to lay the kind of guilt on someone that suicide had added to my already horrendous burden.  I could picture my Dad sitting by himself, crying, blaming himself for the way my life had turned out, and the terrible way it ended.  I wasn’t about to let that happen.  So I decided I needed to think about the future; I had to turn things around, even though I already had the possibility of a criminal conviction and time in prison hanging over my head like the sword of Damocles.  I needed to find things to look forward to.


The stream of nightmarish drama that flowed to me from Mara wasn’t helping things any.  She and a female friend from the hospital had gotten an apartment together, but the roommate was a habitual drug user.  When she owed money to drug dealers, they took it upon themselves to take what they wanted from the apartment, whether it belonged to the user or to Mara.  So a few times I’d get crying phone calls about how her stereo or television, or some of her CD’s, had been appropriated by random seedy people.  Clearly this was not an environment Mara was going to able to survive for long.  Plus, with how depressing that life was, I am pretty sure she was spending a good deal of her own money on marijuana…something she wouldn’t have admitted to me.  With all the psychiatric drugs Mara was taking, and with her limited income from disability (plus whatever modest sum I was able to give her when I could afford it), wasting money on pot was idiocy.  But Mara did feel close enough to me, and that I was capable of listening without judgment to most things,  to let me know that whenever she found herself running short of rent money, she was able to pick up $50 here or there from other tenants in the building or neighborhood by making herself available to them sexually.  I never asked for more details; it wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted to know.  But somehow the physical distance between us allowed me to avoid laying the blame for some actions – such as those – on my own shoulders.  This was a life she was creating for herself without my enabling.  I could hope for better, and offer advice and support, but I knew I could not save her.  That was a great relief to realize.  True, I hadn’t forgiven myself for being unable to save her from herself in the past, but for the first time since I was 16 years old I was no longer taking the martyr position, or assuming the role of savior.  If Mara was going to head along this downward spiral, I’d try to help, but there wasn’t much I could do.




Hypothetical of the Month

Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1. You discover that your brother is selling classified information to a foreign power.  Do you turn him in?  #2. You hear the conversation of two strangers when you pick up your phone.  Do you listen to it?


Melinda Holley - #1 Absolutely.  I would try to be supportive of my brother later and encourage him to cooperate but I wouldn't just let it go.


#2 - If it was interesting, yes.  After all, I grew up in a small house with many sisters.  No phone conversation was considered private J.


Andy York - #1 - I don't know how I'd ever know that he was, or how he would ever came across classified information, but if I was reasonably certain (not a mere suspicion), I would.


#2 - Nope, no interest.


Jack McHugh - #1 - Yes, i don't think that's much of a moral dilemma.


#2 - Its happened to me about 20 years ago...i had lines crossed with my neighbors...sometimes i did but mostly just for a break so i could ask them if they could hear me so i could trouble shoot the problem...mostly it was just extremely annoying as i quickly found out that you don't want to listen to other conversations as they are incredibly boring!


Philip Murphy - #1No. Angry as I would be, I wouldn't act turncoat on my brother. I would tell him to stop, however, or I'd break off contact. Family first, in my view, but without condoning bad or illegal behaviour.


#2No - not the nosey type. I'm not interested in other people's business, usually.


Jason Bergmann - #1 Absolutely.

#2 I listen long enough to figure out that it is not something I am supposed to hear, and then I hang up.  If I pick up again and they are still there (and I need to use the phone), I announce myself and suggest that they hang up and call each other back so that the lines can be uncrossed.


Don Williams - #1 -Yes, I turn the little scumwad in.


#2 - Yes, I’m a Diplomacy player, not a priest …


Kevin Wilson - #1:  Kind of tough on the surface.  I believe I would but not from any sense of patriotism or loyalty to a nation but more from a sense of an obligation to adhere to the law.  If you don’t agree with a law, work to get it changed, don’t just ignore it.


#2:  No, you just say, oops, excuse me and hang up


Heather - #1 – It depends on what kind of classified information, but most likely yes I would turn him in.  After all, who knows how many people’s lives are at stake?


#2 – Yes.  No hesitation.  Hell, yeah.  I’m a nosy bitch.


For Next Month (For the time being, I am selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.:  #1. You have been attending classes all year.  An acquaintance who rarely shows up asks to copy your notes.  Do you consent?  #2. You lose an exciting and lucrative job opportunity because of a policy of hiring minorities.  Do you feel resentful?


The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews


There were a few movies we planned on seeing this month, most notably the just-released Shutter Island, but schedules, minor illness issues, and other hassles kept us away from the movie theater.  Oh well, you can expect the return of reviews next month.  Instead, we watched more DVDs than usual – almost all older films(plus every new episode of Hoarders on the internet since we don’t have A&E). The sec-ret wor-d is Firefly.


Seen on DVD –The Omen (B-, still a decent movie but when you know every single thing that is gonna happen, not as interesting as it once was.)  Time Limit (B, a Jack McHugh recommendation, not bad), Goliath (B, very odd independent film, but has some quirky laughs).  Time After Time (B+, always great to watch at least once every year or two).  Clockwork Orange (B+, again, Malcolm McDowell – and the late Stanley Kubrick - to the rescue).  Groundhog Day (A-, Harold Ramis is an unappreciated genius).  30 Days of Night (B-, really not all that terrible.  Action got moving right away, and the plot wasn’t too bad).

Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column

Paul Milewski: Doug, I have I thank John David Galt for his comments, but I just wanted to revisit some points he raised, for the benefit of your readers.  I went to the trouble of using Google to search for “war reparations” and found this article in Wikipedia, and although Wikipedia is not the final word on these things by a long shot, it does cover a few points regarding the history of war reparations in one form or another.  I might add that the beauty of Prussia’s diplomatic maneuvering prior to the outbreak of the Franco-Prussian War was to egg on France until France formally became the aggressor.


Pre-World War I

Rome imposed large indemnities on Carthage after the First and Second Punic Wars.  The 'unequal treaties' signed by the Qing dynasty in China, Japan, Korea, Siam, Persia, Ottoman Empire, Afghanistan and other countries in the nineteenth century included payments of indemnities to the victorious Western powers, mainly United Kingdom, France and Russia, and later Japan.  After the Franco-Prussian War, according to conditions of Treaty of Frankfurt (May 10, 1871), France was obliged to pay a war indemnity of 5 billion gold francs in 5 years. German troops remained in parts of France until the last installment of the indemnity was paid in September 1873, before the obliged date.


World War I reparations

Russia agreed to pay reparations to the Central Powers when Russia exited the war in the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk (which was repudiated by the Bolshevik government eight months later). Germany agreed to pay reparations of 132 billion gold marks to the Triple Entente in the Treaty of Versailles. Bulgaria paid reparations of 2.25 billion gold francs (90 million pounds) to the Entente, according to Treaty of Neuilly.


World War II



After World War II, according to the Potsdam conference held between July 17 and August 2, 1945, Germany was to pay the Allies US$20 billion mainly in machinery, manufacturing plants. Reparations to the Soviet Union stopped in 1953. In addition, in accordance with the policy of de-industrialisation and pastoralization of Germany, large numbers of civilian factories were dismantled for transport to France and the UK, or simply destroyed. Dismantling in the west stopped in 1950.  In the end, war victims in many countries were compensated by the property of Germans that were expelled after World War II. Beginning immediately after the German surrender and continuing for the next two years, the United States pursued a vigorous program to harvest all technological and scientific know-how as well as all patents in Germany. Historian John Gimbel, in his book Science Technology and Reparations: Exploitation and Plunder in Postwar Germany, states that the "intellectual reparations" taken by the U.S. and the UK amounted to close to $10 billion dollars. German reparations were partly to be in the form of forced labor. By 1947, approximately 4,000,000 German POW's and civilians were used as forced labor (under various headings, such as "reparations labor" or "enforced labor") in the Soviet Union, France, the UK, Belgium and in Germany in U.S run "Military Labor Service Units".  Germany paid Israel 450 million DM in Holocaust reparations, and paid 3 billion DM to the World Jewish Congress to compensate survivors in other countries. No reparations were paid to the Romanies who were killed during the Holocaust.[2]  According to the Paris Peace Treaties, 1947, Italy agreed to pay reparations of about US$125 million to Yugoslavia, US$105 million to Greece, US$100 million to the Soviet Union, US$25 million to Ethiopia, and US$5 million to Albania. Finland agreed to pay reparations of US$300 million to the Soviet Union. Hungary agreed to pay reparations of US$200 million to the Soviet Union, US$100 million to Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia. Romania agreed to pay reparations of US$300 million to the Soviet Union. Bulgaria agreed to pay reparations of $50 million to Greece and $25 million to Yugoslavia. According to the articles of these treaties, the value of US$ was prescribed as 35 US dollars to one troy ounce of pure gold.



According to the Treaty of Peace with Japan and the bilateral agreements, Japan agreed to pay around 1 trillion and 30 billion yen. For countries that renounced any reparations from Japan, it agreed to pay indemnity and/or grants in accordance with bilateral agreements.


United States

The government of the United States officially apologized for the Japanese American internment during World War II in the 1980s and paid reparations.


Having been a big fan of the boardgame Stalingrad years ago, and having read The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William Shirer, I was already aware that Hungary, Rumania, and Bulgaria had troops in Russia alongside the invading Germans in WWII.  Most people probably just remember the main Axis powers (Germany, Italy, and Japan).  Certainly, our altruistic efforts after the end of WWII were heavily influenced by the work of Keynes, as highlighted by his The Economic Consequences of the Peace; as you may recall, Keynes was a key player in setting up the economic recovery after WWII, including the conference at Bretton Woods.  Of course, war reparations are lot like war crimes insofar as it is the guy on the losing side who gets tried and hanged.


As for amphibious invasions, the invasion of Normandy or the series of amphibious invasions of Japanese held Pacific islands in WWII is a whole different matter than WWI.  I don’t think anyone would argue that amphibious invasions were not common and often successful in WWII.  My reading of the history, though, would suggest that Germany was woefully unprepared to follow through with an amphibious invasion of Britain after the fall of France, and it owed its success in Norway in large part to the Luftwaffe, even though there was certainly naval action involved, too.


Andy York: Two points of clarification on John Galt's letter:


- Egypt was effectively controlled by the British since the early/mid-1800s, officially becoming part of the British Empire at the start of WWI in 1914 - not after WWI.


- Deaths in the Normandy invasion, on the first day, for the Allies were no where near 140,000. Instead, per the recently released book "D-DAY" by Antony Beevor, British and American casualties (killed, wounded, etc) were 58,732 for the entire month of June (page 263).


Rick Desper: Could I encourage you to be a bit less obscure in your quote choices?  Some of these films have more famous quotes from them.  Well, The Shining in particular.  Not that you should pick "Here's Johnny" or "Danny's not here, Mrs. Torrance" or...well, hell, I don't know where I'm going with this. 


[[I’ll consider doing a round of more obvious quotes.  But, of course, *I* know all of these…]]


Andy Lischett: An interesting thing about Dracula is that when it was filmed in 1931 a line-for-line Spanish-language Dracula was filmed at night on the same sets with different actors. According to Leonard Maltin, the Spanish-language Count was no Bela Lugosi, but the women were sexier.


A Little History behind the Map

by Paul Milewski


So far as I can tell, the name of the “Livonia” space comes from the Livonian Knights, more formally known as the Brothers of the Knighthood of Christ in Livonia and sometimes called the Sword-Brothers.  The group was formed around 1202 to convert the pagan Latvians.  Again, as I understand it, from 1237 to 1561, they were members of the Livonian branch of the Teutonic Knights.  By the 14th century, they controlled the Baltic lands known at the time as Courland, Estonia, and Livonia.  Nowadays that map space roughly corresponds to the combined area of Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania.  I believe Estonia was under Swedish rule from 1629 until ceded to Russia in 1721, along with Latvia.  Lithuania was united with Poland from 1385 to 1795.  All 3 countries were declared independent after WWI, as was Poland. 


Norway’s history includes being under Danish rule, union with Sweden and Denmark in 1389, annexation by Sweden in 1814 as a reward for assistance against Napoleon, and independence in 1905.  Finland was ruled by Sweden from 1157 until ceded to Russia in 1809 and was declared independent in 1917.


Belgium didn’t come into existence until 1830 or thereabouts.  Modern Germany as depicted on the Diplomacy board did not come into existence until 1871, when the King of Prussia was crowned hereditary Emperor (Kaiser) in 1871 at a ceremony at the Palace of Versailles after the defeat of France in the Franco-Prussian War.  (After the defeat of Germany in WWI, having the treaty put together at Versailles was a way of rubbing Germany’s nose in it.)  Of course, in Germany what we call France Germans call “Frankreich” or literally the kingdom of the Franks, a Germanic tribe that invaded France in the early centuries of the Christian Era.  I’m a little hazy on the exact dates.  Although Napoleon was crowned Emperor of Italy in 1804, it was not united in its own right until 1871, with Victor Emmanuel II of Sardinia taking the throne; the monarchy was abolished in 1946.  Albania was not independent until the end of Turkish rule in 1912. 


The space “Wales” includes a number of the counties of Cornwall (the Cornish language resembled Welsh, and its last speaker died around 1800, though there seems to be some interest in reviving it), Devon, Somerset, Dorset, Avon, Wiltshire, and Gloucestershire.  Many English counties have names that end with “shire.”  Our term Sheriff comes from the old “Reef of the Shire” and appropriately enough, at least in Ohio, each county has a Sheriff.  Any place name in England that ends with “caster” (Lancaster, a town in Lancashire) or “chester” (such as Manchester) was the site of a Roman army camp.  The space “Yorkshire” includes many English counties, although if you examine the board carefully, includes part or all of the counties of North Yorkshire, West Yorkshire, and South Yorkshire.  The space “Liverpool” clearly includes part of southwest Scotland.  The greatest indignity is that Ireland is not acknowledged to exist in the game, an unnamed outline that does not interfere with the movements of fleets but to which no unit, army or fleet, can move.


Marseilles (in French, “Marseille”—no letter “s” at the end) traces its history back to its founding as a colony of a Greek city around 600 BC, as was Syracuse in Sicily around 734 BC.  Sicily, of course, does not rise above the level of an inconsequential outline, in the same fashion as Iceland, Corsica, Sardinia, or Crete, for that matter.  Tunis today includes as a suburb what once was ancient Carthage.


The capital of Ottoman Turkey was Constantinople, the capital of the Eastern Roman Empire founded by the Emperor Constantine, and the pronunciation of which has been corrupted into Istanbul.  After several beers, when you try to say Constantinople, it may come out as something much closer to Istanbul. 


St. Petersburg was founded by Czar Peter the Great in 1703 and was the imperial capital from 1712-1918.  After the Revolution, it was known for some time as Leningrad (roughly translated, City of Lenin).  Moscow didn’t become the capital of Russia until 1918 and of the Soviet Union until 1922.  Sevastopol wasn’t founded until 1783.  Interestingly enough, it was transferred from Russia to the Ukraine in 1954, something which was been a source of contention lately between Russia and the Ukraine.  Crimea was originally colonized by the ancient Greeks in the 7th century BC.  For that matter, the entire Aegean coast of what we think of as Turkey was part of Greece in classical times, insofar as all the cities on that coast were Greek.  Our modern concept of a nation with set borders did not apply back then.  Some of the best examples of classical Greek architecture are found today in Italy.  Alexandria, in Egypt, was a city founded by Greeks, and Cleopatra was the last ruling monarch of Egypt of Greek descent from Ptolemy, one of Alexander the Great’s generals.  Ptolemy I became ruler of Egypt after Alexander’s death in 323 BC, assuming the title of Pharaoh in 304 BC.  In all fairness, although it was Alexander’s father, Philip of Macedon, who united Greece by military conquest, I have read that Greeks at the time might have questioned a Macedonian’s right to call himself Greek.


There’s a lot of history behind many cities, regions, and countries of Europe that tells you a lot about why they are what they are today and certainly about what they were in the spring of 1901.  Borders change.  Today Trieste is in Italy.  Much of what is shown as Germany in the spaces “Silesia” and “Prussia” is part of modern Poland today.  Even Russia has a slice of old Prussia, stuck between Poland and Lithuania.  Poland lost territory to Stalin’s Soviet Union but was rewarded with parts of what formerly was Germany.  I believe I remember reading that when Nazi Germany invaded Poland at the start of WWII, one German general was many miles into Poland before he came to the town where he had been born (in what had been Germany at the time of his birth).  Americans tend to take borders much too seriously, without regard to the arbitrary way in which borders are drawn.  The Channel Islands of Guernsey and Jersey, which we take for granted as belonging to England belong to England because they were granted to the Dukes of Normandy in the 10th Century, are not many miles west of the coast of Normandy in France, and were occupied by Nazi Germany in WWII.  The French call them the “Iles Normandes” (islands of Normandy).  Of course, the French call the English Channel “la Manche.”  In Russia, they call Russian roulette “French roulette.”  It’s all in your point of view.


Out of the WAY #16


by W. Andrew York

(wandrew88 of


I’m just back from OwlCon in Houston (see a report under the commentary), driving back enjoying some 70-80 degree weather on Sunday. But, Texas is never predictable. Tonight (Monday), a front is moving through and by tomorrow we could have snow on the ground and freezing rain. After 25 years, I’m just starting to get used to it.....more or less.

I suppose most of you have seen a few mentions of Austin in the news in the past week. I was home sick that day and only happened to see a news report when I turned on the TV about two hours after the event. All local stations pre-empted programming until mid-afternoon and most had extended coverage on the evening news cycle. And, even today, it is still a primary topic of each news report.

From what has been reported by the local media, there were a number of factors that helped limit the number of casualties:


                - the office on the first floor (primarily where the plane hit) was vacant

                - the 30-year old building was well built/designed with an effective sprinkler system

                - a county haz-mat team (consisting of staff from smaller, local, municipalities) was meeting for training across the street.

                                They had a newly equipped engine, and were on-scene within a couple of minutes. The team included one of the

                                city’s fire chiefs who took command of the site until Austin Fire command arrived and was oriented

                                (doubly lucky as a number of the Austin fire engines stationed in the area were fighting the house fire that was


                - a window installer was driving by and, with the ladder in the back of his truck, was able to help rescue folks from the

                                second story

                - the building had an effective, and tested, evacuation plan


                I live a bit over four miles from the office building and drive by it every day on the way to work or into town. The next morning, on the way to work, there were traffic slowdowns as folks looked at the building and the crews working on it. It is going to be some time before things return to normal in that area - the road (yes, I’ve driven on it quite a few times) is closed until further notice due to structural questions and gawkers will still slow down to take a look.

                Hopefully the coming month won’t be as notable....




Poll Question


Each month a question will be posed to the readership. Your thoughts and commentary are solicited for the next issue. Also, any response to

                what folks have submitted for the previous question are very welcome.


This issue: How much do you trust online rating and review websites? Which are the best, the worst?


[WAY] Personally, I don’t use them. Without some vetting about the author, there is no way to know if they are from the ratee, a competitor

                trying to drive folks away, from someone receiving some compensation or, truly, from someone who doesn’t have an ulterior motive

                - just trying to give unbiased feedback on their experiences. Plus, in reviewing such material, it is likelier that one person with a bone

                to pick will write a comment rather than fifty that have had a positive experience.


For next issue: Now is the time to start thinking about summer trips, family get-togethers and vacations. Is

            there something you’re looking forward to in 2010?




Babylon 5 Quote


In Ship of Tears:


Sheridan: “So, how did you find about all of this?’”

Bester: “I’m a telepath. Work it out.”


Source: But In Purple...I’m Stunning! by J. Michael Straczynski, edited by Sara “Samm” Barnes, copyright 2008.


The Month in History


March 5, 1770 - Five men died in a confrontation, commonly called a massacre, with British soldiers at the Boston Customs House.

March 7, 1940 - A Finnish delegation arrives in Moscow to discuss ending the Soviet attacks.

March 8, 1940 - Viipuri finally falls to Russian troops.

March 13, 1940 - Finland surrenders to the Soviets, ceding territory north of Leningrad, including Viipuri, and giving control of the port Hango

                on the southwest coast of Finland to them.

March 16, 1850 - The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne is published.

March 16, 1940 - The first civilian casualties in Britain are recorded during a Luftwaffe raid on the Scapa Flow naval base.

March 28, 1940 - Britian and France formally agree that neither will make a separate peace with Germany.

March 30, 1940 - Japan establishes a puppet government in China. Based in Nanking, it is formed under a leader who previously was a part of

                the Nationalist government.

March 31, 1940 - The German merchant raider, Atlantis, begins an nineteen month cruise during which 22 ships are sunk.



Sources include: current issue of Smithsonian; The World Almanac Book of World War II edited by Peter Young



Recipe of the Month


Recipe Philosophy: Except for baking, recipes are only suggestions. I rarely precisely measure, eyeballing most everything. The listed

                measurements, for the most part, are estimates from the last time I made the recipe. Feel free to adjust to meet your personal tastes –

                and remember, it is easier to add “more” of something than to compensate when “too much” has been added.


For ingredients, if you don’t like raw onions, omit them or replace with celery to retain the crunchiness. If you like food with more spice, add

                an extra jalapeno or use habenaros instead. On the other hand, if you don’t like spicy food, replace the jalapeno with half a bell

                pepper. Optional items are used when I’m looking for a variation or making it for individuals with specific preferences.



Microwaved Twice “Baked” Potato


version by W Andrew York

(last revised February 2010)





                1              Large Idaho Potato

                                Choice of Ingredients to Mix I In

                                Salt and Pepper




                1) Microwave potato until just cooked through. Start at 4 minutes, then 1 minute increments until potato is done.

                2) Let cool, then cut in half. Scoop out the insides without piercing the skin.

                3) Mash potato insides and mix in your choice of ingredients, such as:

                                - butter or olive oil

                                - sour cream or milk

                                - shredded cheddar cheese (or your choice of other cheese)

                                - chopped chives or green onions

                                - chopped bacon or bacon bits

                                - salsa

                4) Mix in salt and pepper to taste.

                5) Spoon mashed potato mixture into potato skins, mounding.

                6) Top with additional shredded cheese and a sea salt sprinkle

                7) Microwave stuffed potatoes until cheese is melted and potato heated through




                - Can serve with additional sour cream, or sprinkle with chive, green onions or bacon.

                - Can be prepared through step 5 a day or two early, reheating just before serving.

                - Step 7 can be done in a regular oven to give a more classic appearance to the cheese topping.



Letter Column

(always welcome, send them in!)


none received







                Well, I’m back from Houston where OwlCon was held for the 29th year. It’s an extremely well run gaming convention at Rice University. Last year was my first year here and I was very impressed. This year, I jumped in and ran a “Ticket to Ride” and a “Rail Baron” slot. For the first, three players showed up (it had been fully booked) and two rounds were played. Afterwards, as one of the players had the European version, I joined in and we played two games of that. The first was a two-player (don’t recall who won) and the second added three walk-ups. I squeaked out a win.

The “Rail Baron” game, again, was fully booked - and all but one showed up. Four were inexperienced, while one had recently played the online version a number of times. After a risky purchase, he ended up having to sell a railroad early which put him behind the curve. Eventually, he dropped out. The other four split into two front runners and two a bit behind. All had a good time with the person having a strong East Coast presence eventually getting the big three lines. At the end of playing time, he had the most cash and rail value. Unless the dice went completely against him, he should have eventually won the game.

Besides the pick-up European “Ticket to Ride,” I played in a “Car Wars” event. I ended up being the first one toasted (my favorite move doesn’t work too well when you forget the car you’ve crossed the T with is going a bit too fast with a ram plate). As I was the first out, I came back on in a booby prize car. By the time I got back into it, two others had been killed - and I quickly followed them. The highlight was two damaged cars colliding and doing something like 70 or 80 points of damage. They just grabbed a bunch of spike counters and generally scattered them around the areas after removing the actual vehicles. After my second untimely death, I left the table to head back to the hotel to get some sleep.

There were three rounds of “Dominion” (w/Intrigue cards) that I  was second, third and fourth. I hadn’t played that game in about a year and there were a number of cards that I hadn’t seen before. I’d like to play more of this, but I’d need to find a cadre of players around here that would be available when I could be.

Lastly, there was an offering of Richard Berg’s “Confederate Rails.” A thoroughly intriguing game that I’m going to have to track down. Supposedly, Berg sells it as a self-published/make-it-yourself game as it hasn’t sold commercially. I don’t know why as it is a very respectable simulation of the rail challenges during the Civil War in the south. There were a number of rule miscues, but everyone playing seemed to enjoy themselves. I managed a win in this one.

If you get the chance, OwlCon is a superlative regional convention. I chatted with the staff and there were roughly 680 registrants and, from the program, over 180 events (RPG, RPGA, LARP, miniatures, board/card games) and a number of dealers with demos. I did pick up a copy of “War at Sea” (my copy disappeared long ago) for a fair price, but passed on a “Caesar: Alesia” as it was a bit more than I wanted to pay. Plus, talked with an “Arkham Horror” player. I’m going to have to look into that one....




Game Section


Hangman, By Definition


This is a five round game, with each round consisting of a variable number of turns. The winner will be the person who wins the most rounds, with a tie breaker being fewest total number of turns in those winning rounds. Second tie breaker will be the most number of letters guessed (by total count revealed, not by individual letter).


Each round will consist of identifying a word of at least six letters. Along with each word will be the first definition given. Both words and definitions will be identified by blank spaces. Words and definitions are verified in a dictionary that was my high school graduation gift (slight hint to those who might want to find the edition). [[Note – for the first round of this game, an online source was used]]


The goal is to guess the word in as few turns as possible. Each turn, all players will submit one letter to be revealed. The letter submitted by the most players will be the letter revealed in the next turn. Ties will be broken by a random method. Additionally, each player should submit a guess for the word. Once the word is correctly identified (spelling is important), that round will end and a new round will begin. All players who guess the word in the same turn will share in the win for the round. If the word is not guessed by the end of six turns with no letter revealed, no one will win the round.


Along with revealing letters in the word, letters will be revealed in the definition. There are no bonus points for guessing any part of the definition, it is only there to help players figure out the word. No guesses about parts of the definition will be confirmed or displayed except by the letter revealed in that round. The letters “E” and “S” can never be chosen as the letter to be revealed..


Game 2, Round One, Turn Three:


                Letter Votes: D - 1, P - 1, U - 1                                          Revealed:  P


                Words Guessed:   Doug Kent - Upended; Brendan Whyte - Brownie




                Word:                     __  __  __  __  __  __  __


Definition:             A     __  __  __  __  __;     __  __  __  T  __  __


                Never Revealed:  E, S                         Already Revealed:  A, P, T                                Missed Letter Count: 1 (P)


    Game Words Correctly Guessed: None, yet


Player Comments:


[Mark Lew] Oh, bugger, I just wasted a lot of time. I was thinking we had confirmed that there is no E and no S. Based on that, I

                was doing an analysis of the ___T__ work, which is fairly limiting without E, S, A or another T -- and I concluded we

                have enough information to solve and I just needed to find it.

                Now I just realized E and S are undeclared and they may or may not be in there. That’s a very different matter.


[Dane Maslen] I did have a guess for the definition this time, but it didn’t lead back to a 7-letter word, so I’ll have to stick with

                trying to find another letter.


Possible future game openings - Railway Rivals (Galt), Empire Builder (Galt), Liftoff!, Pandemic (Westling)


Suggestions accepted for other games to offer - Agricola (Galt - I don’t have this one, and they were out at my gaming store when I last visited.

                I’ll look next time).


Deadline for the Next Issue of Out of the WAY:


March 27, 2010 at 7:00am – See You Then!


Game entries, letters of comment and other material can be sent to:


                wandrew88 at; or by post to: W. Andrew York; POB 201117; Austin TX 78720-1117



Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh –

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #16



I am still looking for work.  Aside from some gaming and play testing, I’m spending all my time trying to learn more CSS and other programming.   In other words, unemployment sucks, and life is generally shit.  The fifty feet of snow we got dumped on us this month wasn’t much help either, as fucking recruiters would schedule interviews for me the day blizzards were scheduled, and then give me attitude when I wanted to reschedule them instead of buying a snow plow or snowmobile to make it to where I was going.  Anybody who lives in the Philly or Southwest Jersey area who knows of a decent job opening, let me know.  I’m qualified in tons of IT shit – and I have two masters degrees that nobody cares about – but the way things are going I’d be willing to take any kind of office job if it paid a decent wage.  Just get me in the door.  HELP!  Anybody who successfully helps get me a job will get some kind of unnamed gift from Doug (or so he says).


Adult’s-Only By Popular Demand

The players so far: Heather Taylor (HT), Mark D Lew (MDL), Martin Burgdorf (MB), John David Galt (JDG), Kevin Wilson (KW), Paraic Reddington (PR), Michael Moulton (MM), Bill Brown (BB), Brendan Whyte (BW).


Remember, unlike Dougie’s game, there is no “joker” category in this game (so don’t bother selecting one).  Four people tied for 3rd place right now.


Round 3 categories and responses:


1.     A color of vibrator or dildo.  Cream – BW.  Purple – MDL, HT.  Skintone – KW, PR.  Pink – BB, MB.  Black – MM.

2.     An implement used by a dominatrix.  Whip – BW, MDL, KW, PR, BB, MB, MM.  Riding Crop – HT.

3.     A word besides prostitute used to refer to one.  Whore – BW, MDL, KW, MB, HT.  Hooker – PR, BB, MM.

4.     An R-rated film which has a lot of sex or nudity.  Porky’s – BW.  Showgirls – MDL.  Sex, Lies, and Videotape – KW.  Last Tango in Paris – PR.  Black Orchid – BB.  Where the Truth Lies – MB.  Basic Instinct – MM.  9 ½ Weeks – HT.

5.     A name strippers use as their stage name.  Misty – BW.  Candy – MDL, BB, MM.  Desiree – KW.  Angel – PR.  Bambi – MB. Cherry – HT.


New Scores: Martin Burgdorf (MB) – 65, Bill Brown (BB) - 64, Heather Taylor (HT) - 56, Paraic Reddington (PR) - 56, Brendan Whyte (BW) – 56, Mark D Lew (MDL) - 56, Michael Moulton -(MM) - 54, Kevin Wilson (KW) - 53, John David Galt (JDG) – 27.


Round 4 Categories:

1.     An orifice.

2.     A venereal disease.

3.     A celebrity who appeared nude in Playboy.

4.     Fantasy a man has which he is afraid to tell his wife about.

5.     A nickname used for a woman’s private parts.


Deadline will be the Friday before Doug’s deadline, which means this month it will be March 26th at midnight.


Now for this month’s jokes, to take your mind off the miserable life we each suffer through.


One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Lima, Ohio, were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."  So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.."  The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park....." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" 

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"


A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies, 'I have a question to ask but I don't want to offend you.'
She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me.. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: 1: You have to be single and 2: you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'   'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfils his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a costume dress party.’

Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: None, needs seven to fill.

Gunboat Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: One, need six more to fill.  Sign up now!

Diplomacy Bourse (Black Press): Buy and sell the currencies of the Diplomacy nations.  This Bourse is using the new game “Dulcinea” as its basis.  Players may join at any time, and are then given 1000 units of every currency still in circulation.  The rules to Bourse can be found in ES #24.

African Diplomacy (Black Press): From the late Phil Reynolds.  Map and rules in this issue.  Signed up: None, need six more to fill.  Sign up now!

Asian Diplomacy II (Black Press): From the late Phil Reynolds.  Map and rules in this issue.  Signed up: None, need seven more to fill.  Sign up now!

By Popular Demand: Game currently underway, join any time. 

Adult’s Only By Popular Demand: Game in Jack’s sub-subzine “Brain Farts.” Game underway, join any time. 

Eternal Sunshine Movie Quote Quiz: 10 rounds, join any time.  You can find it at the end of the zine.

Standby List: HELP!  I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Jeremie Lefrancois (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill  sort of running out of ideas of what I want to offer next.  I’ll look though my files.  If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch.  If you have specific game requests please let me know.



Eternal Sunshine Game Section


Diplomacy “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” 2008A, Fall 1909


Austria (Kevin Wilson - ckevinw “of” A Budapest Supports A Ukraine – Rumania,

 A Galicia Supports A Ukraine – Rumania, F Greece Hold, F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Trieste – Serbia,

 A Ukraine – Rumania, A Warsaw Hold.

England (Jérémie LeFrançois - jeremie.lefrancois “of” F Baltic Sea Hold,

 A Berlin - Bohemia (*Fails*), A Edinburgh – Denmark, F English Channel Convoys A London – Belgium,

 F Helgoland Bight – Kiel, F Irish Sea Supports F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 A Livonia Supports A Sevastopol – Moscow, A London – Belgium, F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F North Sea Convoys A Edinburgh – Denmark, F Portugal - Spain(sc) (*Bounce*), A Sevastopol – Moscow,

 A Yorkshire - London.

France (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” A Gascony - Spain (*Bounce*), A Paris - Brest.

Germany (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” A Munich - Bohemia.

Italy (Don Williams – dwilliam “of” A Marseilles - Gascony (*Fails*),

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Portugal (*Dislodged*, ret North Africa or OTB), F North Africa – Tunis, A Rome – Venice,

 F Spain(sc) Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Portugal (*Cut*),

 F Western Mediterranean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*).

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of” F Aegean Sea Hold,

 F Black Sea Convoys A Constantinople – Sevastopol, A Bulgaria Supports F Rumania,

 A Constantinople – Sevastopol, F Rumania Supports A Constantinople - Sevastopol (*Disbanded*).



A DIAS is Now Proposed (A/E/F/G/I/T) – Please Vote Next Issue

Winter 09/Spring 10 Deadline is March 30th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart

Austria:            Budapest, Greece, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna, Warsaw=7, Even

England:          Belgium, Berlin, Denmark, Edinburgh, Holland, Kiel, Liverpool, London, Moscow,

Norway, Portugal, St Petersburg, Sweden=13, Even

France:            Brest, Paris=2, Even

Germany:         Munich=1, Even

Italy:                Marseilles, Naples, Rome, Spain, Tunis, Venice=5, Even or Build 1

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Sevastopol, Smyrna=5, Build 1




FRANCE to ENGLAND:  Loyalty is its own reward.


Germany -> Austria: The great German invasion of you sad little country has begun!  Chhhaaarrrgggg!




Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, Spring 1906

Austria (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” F Adriatic Sea Supports A Venice,

 A Galicia – Bohemia, A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*), A Tyrolia - Munich (*Fails*), A Venice Hold,

 A Vienna Supports A Galicia – Bohemia, A Warsaw - Silesia.

England (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” A Brest – Paris,

 F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*), F London - English Channel (*Fails*),

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - North Africa, F North Atlantic Ocean Supports F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F Norwegian Sea - North Sea, A St Petersburg Hold.

France (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 ”of” A Paris – Gascony,

 F Portugal Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Ordered to Move*).

Germany (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” A Belgium – Picardy, A Bohemia – Munich,

 F Livonia – Prussia, A Munich – Burgundy, A Ruhr Supports A Bohemia – Munich, A Silesia - Berlin.

Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” A Marseilles Supports F Spain(sc) (*Cut*),

 F Spain(sc) Supports F Western Mediterranean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F Western Mediterranean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*).

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” F Aegean Sea - Ionian Sea,

 F Constantinople - Aegean Sea, F Ionian Sea – Tunis, A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Fails*),

 F Naples Supports F Rome - Tyrrhenian Sea, F Rome - Tyrrhenian Sea, F Sevastopol Hold,

 F Smyrna - Eastern Mediterranean, A Tuscany - Rome.


Fall 06 Deadline is March 30th at 7:00am my time



Prime Minister of England to Austria: We note the change of regime and while we mourn the loss of Archduke Jim-Bob, we are heartened that stability and continuity prevails in Austria and we wish his successor the very best for the future.

Smaug to France: Why don't you just fall on your sword and be done with it? *snorts flames* Surely you see it's hopeless.


Philip Murphy to all: Let's have some contact, people! My inbox is getting cobwebs in it! Threaten me, bribe me, fill me full of lies. But don't leave me thinking you're all a figment of my deranged alter ego. *winks*



“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse



Billy Ray Valentine: No activity.


Duke of York: No activity.


Smaug the Dragon: Buys 500 pounds, 200 Crowns, 1000 Marks.


Rothschild: Sell 500 Crowns and 500 Francs.  Buy 595 Piastres


Baron Wuffet: Holds.


Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Nuttin, honey.


VAIONT Enterprises: Sells 500 Lira.  Buys 127 Piastres.


Insider Trading LLC: Sells 500 Piastres.  Buys 630 Crowns.


Bourse Master: Buys 619 Piastres.


Next Bourse Deadline is March 29th at 7:00pm my time




My opening strategy was irrecoverably disastrous. Now I am afraid to look at the results for this game for fear of how much better my portfolio has fared under my neglect than it did under my management.   -  B. W.


Smaug to ALL - Reports of my death have not only been exaggerated, but are outright fabrications. Even those from Fox News! *snorts flames*



Diplomacy “Just a Taste” 2009C, Fall 03

Austria (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” F Aegean Sea - Constantinople (*Fails*),

 A Bulgaria Supports F Aegean Sea – Constantinople, A Galicia - Ukraine (*Bounce*),

 A Greece Supports A Bulgaria, A Rumania Supports A Galicia - Ukraine (*Cut*), A Serbia Supports A Rumania.

England (Robert Jewett – Robert_Jewett “of” and robertjewett “of”

 F Barents Sea - Norway (*Fails*), A Livonia Supports A St Petersburg – Moscow, F North Sea – London,

 A Norway - Sweden (*Bounce*), A St Petersburg - Moscow.

France (Paraic Reddington - ): A Belgium Hold, F Irish Sea – Liverpool,

 A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Fails*), A Rome Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea – Naples, F Tyrrhenian Sea – Naples,

 F Western Mediterranean - Tyrrhenian Sea.

Germany (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” F Berlin - Baltic Sea (*Fails*),

 F Denmark - Sweden (*Bounce*), A Holland - Kiel (*Bounce*), A Munich – Tyrolia, A Prussia - Warsaw (*Fails*),

 F Skagerrak - Sweden (*Bounce*), A Warsaw - Ukraine (*Bounce*).

Italy (Ian Pringle - pringle.ian “of” F Eastern Mediterranean - Ionian Sea (*Fails*),

 F Ionian Sea - Naples (*Fails*), A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*), A Tunis Hold.

Russia (Don Williams – dwilliam “of” F Baltic Sea - Kiel (*Bounce*).

Turkey (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” F Black Sea Supports A Sevastopol – Rumania,

 F Constantinople Supports F Smyrna (*Cut*), A Sevastopol - Rumania (*Fails*),

 F Smyrna Supports F Constantinople.


Winter 03/Spring 04 Deadline is March 30th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart

Austria:            Budapest, Bulgaria, Greece, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna=7, Build 1

England:          Edinburgh, London, Moscow, Norway, St Petersburg=5, Even

France:            Belgium, Brest, Liverpool, Marseilles, Naples, Paris, Portugal,

Rome, Spain=9, Build 3 (Room for 2)

Germany:         Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich, Sweden, Warsaw=7, Even

Italy:                Tunis, Venice=2, Remove 2

Russia:             None=0, OUT!!

Turkey:            Ankara, Constantinople, Sevastopol, Smyrna=4, Even



F to T - If this is a Western Triple then it's not a very well organized one!


Italy – Turkey: Not really.  It was a calculated risk based on messages and negotiations at the time.  If it works for Italy, it can work really well.  (I have tried it once before, with success.) The fact that the west made a big alliance is just one of those things - as Edmund Blackadder said, "Sometimes fortune farts in your face"!


Turkey -> Germany: Doesn't Vienna look tempting?


Kaiser to All: Und I thought I was mad! I turn my back on zem for two minutes and zey are killing one another. Zut!


Italy - Turkey and Austria : I will do whatever I can to resist but I fear it will have the same impact as scrubbing the Eiffel Tower with a toothbrush.  I can only suggest that you work together, get Russia on your side and come my way as soon as possible so I can give you a share of my centres. 


White Press Diplomacy “Creepshow” 2009D, W 01/S 02

Austria (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of” Build F Trieste, A Budapest..

 A Budapest Supports A Serbia – Rumania, F Greece - Bulgaria(sc) (*Dislodged*, retreat Albania or OTB),

 A Serbia – Rumania, F Trieste - Adriatic Sea, A Vienna - Galicia (*Fails*).

England (Chuy Cronin – chuykdc_92 “of” Build F Edinburgh.. F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea,

 F North Sea Supports F Norway, F Norway Supports F North Sea (*Cut*), A Yorkshire - London.

France (Michael Cronin – mfmcronin “of” Build A Paris, A Marseilles..

 F English Channel S F North Sea (No Such Unit), F Belgium no move received,

 A Marseilles - Burgundy (*Bounce*), A Paris - Burgundy (*Bounce*), A Picardy no move received,

 A Portugal - Spain.

Germany (Pat Vogelsang – godawgsgo33 “of” No build received, plays 1 short..

 F Holland Hold, A Kiel – Denmark, A Ruhr Supports F Holland.

Italy (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” Build F Naples.. A Apulia – Venice,

 F Naples - Ionian Sea, F Tunis Supports F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Venice - Tyrolia.

Russia (Kevin Wilson - ckevinw “of” Build F St Petersburg(nc), A Moscow..

 A Moscow – Warsaw, F Rumania Hold (*Dislodged*, retreat Black Sea, Sevastopol, or OTB),

 F St Petersburg(nc) - Norway (*Fails*), F Sweden Supports A Kiel – Denmark,

 A Ukraine Supports A Warsaw – Galicia, A Warsaw - Galicia.

Turkey (Larry Cronin – lcroninmd “of” Build F Smyrna.. F Aegean Sea – Greece,

 A Bulgaria Supports F Aegean Sea – Greece, A Constantinople Supports A Bulgaria,

 F Smyrna - Eastern Mediterranean.


Fall 1902 Deadline is March 30th at 7:00am my time



None…you guys suck….



Diplomacy “Bellicus” from Strange Meeting, Fall/Winter 1907

England (Smiley McKinnon – Boltar35 “of” A London Hold.

France (Pat Vogelsang – godawgsgo33 “of” A Belgium Supports A Burgundy (*Dislodged*,

 ret to Picardy), A Burgundy Supports A Belgium (*Dislodged*, ret to Paris), F Edinburgh Hold,

 A Gascony – Brest, A Liverpool Supports F Edinburgh,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - English Channel (*Dislodged*, ret to Spain[sc]).

Italy (David Latimer – davidlatimeryork “of” A Galicia – Vienna,

 A Piedmont - Tyrolia (*Fails*).

Russia (Chris Babcock – cbabcock “of”

 F English Channel Supports F Irish Sea - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Holland Supports A Norway – Belgium,

 F Irish Sea - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Kiel – Ruhr, A Moscow – Ukraine, A Munich Supports A Ruhr – Burgundy,

 F North Sea Convoys A Norway – Belgium, A Norway – Belgium, A Ruhr – Burgundy, A Silesia – Galicia,

 A Tyrolia - Vienna (*Fails*), A Warsaw Supports A Silesia - Galicia.

Turkey (Phil Amos – p.v.a “of” A Budapest Supports A Galicia – Vienna,

 A Bulgaria – Rumania, F Constantinople - Black Sea, F Gulf of Lyon – Marseilles, F Ionian Sea – Tunis,

 F Rome - Tyrrhenian Sea, A Serbia Supports A Bulgaria – Rumania, F Trieste Supports A Venice, F Tuscany Hold,

 F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean, A Venice Hold.


Supply Center Chart

England:          London=1, Even

France:            Brest, Edinburgh, Liverpool, Paris, Portugal, Spain=6, Even

Italy:                Vienna=1, Remove 1

Russia:             Belgium, Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Moscow, Munich, Norway, Sevastopol, St Petersburg,

                        Sweden, Warsaw=12, Even

Turkey:            Ankara, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Marseilles, Naples, Rome, Rumania,

Serbia, Smyrna, Trieste, Tunis, Venice=14, Build 3


Italy Removes A Piedmont

Turkey Builds A Ankara, A Smyrna, F Constantinople


Spring/Summer 1908 Deadline is March 30th at 7:00am my time




ITALY: Italy nearly ordered Pie - Switzerland as a humorous 'last' go, but still attempting to survive & claim 4th place!!  But if this is to be the end then I say farewell & good luck FRANCE.




Diplomacy “Chimaera” from Strange Meeting, End Game Statements


Nigel Pepper (England): I have a really rubbish record playing England in Dip, in fact until now it's been my worst performing country!  So when I saw the gamestart here I wasn't full of positive thoughts.  The eternal question, ally with France or ally with Germany.  In the past I always seem to get this wrong so there I was stuck with the dilemma of how to go.

Having seen that France appeared to be more communicative that Germany I decided to throw my lot in with France…and so it was that Fall 1901 saw me in possession of both Nwy and Bel.  Then came a very interesting offer from Russia.  What about a strong alliance with him? Take out Germany first then France.  It sounded very promising but not without risk on both our parts. To succeed we both needed to trust that the other wouldn't get up to anything silly in Scandinavia.  But it was somewhat out of the ordinary and I must admit that the unusual has an appeal to me so I decided to go with it.

The problem was keeping French benefit from the demise of Germany down so I spent a lot of time and effort on explaining to France why I couldn't give up Belgium and another centre as fast as Robert (France) would have liked. For whatever reason my persistence paid off and with Germany rapidly dealt with I ended up with a series of units spread along the North Sea coastline some of which were still there at game end.  That brought me to the real crunch, now I had to go for France or else everything failed.  Like other English players; past, present and future I didn't have necessarily the right set of units - too many fleets and not enough armies.  However big gulp and go for it.  Playing to the old adage 'position in Spring, centres in Fall' I started moving in on France, the trouble is there's nothing subtle about English attacks on France.  F(Lpl) - NAO/IRI, F(ENG) - MAO are rather blatant and France immediately guessed what was coming off and took appropriate action.  I'll be perfectly truthful (now) in admitting that some moves were luck rather than judgment although I was rather pleased with some moves e.g. the convoy from Wales to North Africa only to convoy the same army back North to Brest in Fall.

Further East I saw Russia doing well against Turkey and I did wonder if a stalemate was on the cards if Austria, Italy, Turkey, France got their act together so the proxy of Austrian units to Russia was a huge surprise and one I'd be interested to see what others thought of that. 

I did wonder if I'd ever get through the French defenses.  I said earlier I had fleets that once they had settled along the North Sea stayed there for the rest of the game, this inactivity was forced due to the presence of a French army in Ruhr and I was heartened to see it eventually disband although the circumstances were a little unfortunate.  I don't know if France made the same mistake as me but when I first saw the map for the preceding season I mistook a green Italian army for a blue French one.  If Robert made the same mistake then I can understand why the next season A(Ruh) was overlooked and ended up disbanding.

With the exit of France and Turkey I think everyone realized that it was unlikely that Russia and I would break our alliance so the draw was agreed. Would I have attacked Russia?  Well on that I'll keep my own counsel and leave you to find out in another game.


Thanks to Mike for introducing me to the benefits of the Anglo-Russian alliance.  Apologies to Robert to dumping on you like I did; in another game it might have been totally different, but not this time.  Jimmy for playing a sound game as Italy and doing his best to prop the rest of the world up and finally to both GMs Stephen for starting the game and Doug for adopting all the games from Strange Meeting.


[[If any other players wish to submit EOG statements, I would still be happy to publish them next issue.  Maybe Nigel’s will get some thoughts bouncing around in your heads!]]



Deviant Dip II – “Black Licorice” – 2009Brc08 – Spring 1904

Drance (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” with Don Williams ordering units): F StP(nc) H,

 A Ser(1) H, A Mun(1) H (ret Sil,Ruh,Bur,OTB), A Ukr H, F Cyp(1) H, F Lyo H (ret Pie,Cor,Spa(sc),OTB).

England (Russell Blau – russblau “of” A Par U, F Ice-Nat, A Arm-Smy, A Wal H,

 F Con(1) S A Arm-Smy, F Ank-Bla, F Lon-Ech, A Bul(1) S A Ser, F Cre-Ion.

Verminy (Hugh Polley - hapolley “of” F Hol(1)-Bel, A Mos-Stp, F Nat(1) S F Naf-Mid,

 F Naf(2)-Mid.

Italy (John David Galt – jdg “of” F Den(1)-Kie, F Pru-Ber, A Swe(2)-Nwy,

 F Nwy(1)-Stp(nc).

Austria (Jack Mchugh - jwmchughjr “of” A Sev(2)-Rum.

Nussia (Mark D Lew – markdlew “of” A Tyr-Mun[+1], F Sar-Lyo[+1], A Pie-Tus,

 A Lva(1)-Pru[+2], A Mar(1)-Gas[+1], F Por(1)-Mid[+1], A Bud-Gal, F Spa(sc)-Wme[+1], A Vie-Boh,

 A Smy-Ank[+2], A Tri-Ser[+1], F Ven-Adr.

Turkey (Jason Bergmann – jasonbergmann “of” F Tun S F Sic-Ion, F Bel(1)-Upp[[This unit is now known as Marlow’s Steamship via Rule #14, which has been triggered]], F Sic-Ion,

 A Rom S A Nap-Apu, F Bre(2)-Ech, A Nap-Apu,  F Tyn S F Tun, A Edi(1)-Yor.

Nobody got the Secret Woid this issue, which was “published.”  Like that?  Pretty tricky, eh?  Okay, I admit it wasn’t really fair, since it technically appeared within the game report, but I chose to use that term loosely to include only the moves and results themselves…tough crap!  Well, a new one is hidden in this issue.


Rule #14 is now in effect, so Jason should CC me on any such “The horror, the horror!” communications.


Meanwhile, by the Collapsing Wormhole rule, the connection between Upper River and Belgium has collapsed.  By Disappearing Spaces, Lower River no longer exists.  Therefore Marlow’s Steamship is now stuck in Upper River, unable to move anywhere.



Drance: 8 Yes for #60, 7 Yes for #59, 7 Yes for #71.

England: 1 no on # 59, 1 no on #60, 1 yes on #61, 1 yes on #62, 1 no on #63, 1 no on #65, 1 no on #66,

 1 no on #68, 21 no on #69, 2 yes on #70, 1 yes on #71.

Verminy: 12 Yes on #63.

Italy: 1 yes on #64, 1 Yes on #65, 1 Yes on #68, 2 No on #69.  Remainder of votes unused.

Austria: 2 Yes for #65, 6 Yes for #70.

Nussia: 10 votes spent on supporting moves, 20 votes spent on buying 4 RP, 1 No on #59, 1 No on #63,

 1 No on #64, 1 No on #65, 1 No on #66, 1 Yes on #68, 1 Yes on #69, 1 Yes on #71.

Turkey: 5 spent on buying 1 RP, 1 NO on #59, 1 NO on #63, 1 NO on #64, 1 NO on #65, 1 NO on #66,

 2 YES on #70 [Sardinia], 1 YES on #69, 21 Yes on #71.

RP’s (Rule #21): Jack McHugh - 3; Russell Blau - 7; Jim Burgess - 5; Hugh Polley - 1; John David Galt - 4; Mark D Lew - 12; Jason Bergmann - 10.


Official Standby Players, as needed (both currently in the game): Jack McHugh (jwmchughjr “of”, Hugh Polley (hapolley “of”


Fall 1904 Deadline is March 27th at 7:00pm my time

Note the deadline for this game is now SATURDAY NIGHT.

It takes too long to adjudicate to have orders arrive Monday night.

New Rule Proposals


#72 - Boob Sacks the Useless Duck and Replaces Him by MORE Votes (Proposed by Jim Burgess): Since the Duck (Don Williams) has shown no ability to move the Drance units, he is sacked as the movement ordering player.  Since there are no more official standbys (if one volunteers before this takes effect, that player is appointed in the Duck's place to make moves, but not votes and proposals), each existing player in the game may now issue moves and orders for all Drance required rules except for votes and rule proposals.  If there is a clear plurality of orders issued then that move is made, otherwise, a randomly selected order from all those received is executed.  Moves submitted for Drance may be proxied to other players in the game to allow more control of the Drance units.


#73 - Perpetual Movement Orders Not Allowed, No DUCKING! (Proposed by Jim Burgess): Since some ducklike guys in this game have been making perpetual orders to avoid NMRing and being eliminated from this monstrosity, this is antithetical to the point of the game, which is uhhh, well that's to make weird proposals, but anyway, the people supposed to be pushing the pieces need to push the pieces, so perpetual orders of any kind are not allowed, all players now are not allowed to issue HOLD orders to any more than one "regular" unit (defined as those on the printed playing map) in any Spring/Fall movement season.  Players failing to make such moves are judged to have NMRed and are replaced.


#74 - "I am rubber, you are glue" (Proposed by Russell Blau):  If a player (the "Proposer") proposes a rule that specifically singles out one or more player(s) or power(s) by name (the "Target") for special treatment, which in the GM's sole and unappealable judgment would be adverse to the Target, and that proposed rule is _not_ adopted, then the GM shall immediately apply that rule as if it had been adopted with the Target's name deleted and the Proposer's name (or power) substituted in its place.


#75 - "Your name's too short" (Proposed by Russell Blau):  Any player whose name as printed in Eternal Sunshine #37 (including first, last, and any middle names) was less than 9 letters long is immediately stripped of all RPs, cannot be awarded any future RPs, and no longer has their votes doubled under Rule #36.


#76 - "Enough is enough." (Proposed by John David Galt): No rule that singles out a player by name or country may be proposed or have any effect.  No rule may reward any player for voting for it (though its author can still receive RPs and other rewards if it passes), and no rule may penalize any player for voting against it or for failing to vote for it. No rule, including this one, may take away RPs any player has earned by proposing a rule that passed.  Rules that alter the map but do not treat any player differently from another (such as rule 15) are still allowed.  Rules 60, 69, and 70 are in violation of this rule, and are hereby repealed (if they were in effect), but rules 13, 14, 25, and 44 are granted exceptions.  This rule can never be changed or overridden without the unanimous consent of all players, regardless of any other rules.

#77 - "More Teleport Gates." (Proposed by John David Galt): All spaces whose names end in "ia" are mutually adjacent.


#78 - Let's Make It Official (Proposed by Mark D Lew):

If I'm not supposed to use rules to try to win, let's make it official:
A rule proposal is disqualified if it does any of the following:
(1) directly declares any player/country the winner;
(2) directly grants any player/country a dominating advantage that he/it didn't already have;
(3) directly eliminates any player/country from the game;
(4) directly gives any player/country a crippling disadvantage that he/it didn't already have.
GM will judge which proposals are disqualified in this way, considering the spirit of the rule as well as the letter.
Any proposal so disqualified will be noted as such by the GM when it is proposed. It can still be voted on (and could even have the highest net yes votes) but it cannot pass regardless of the vote totals.

#79 - About that booby prize.... (Proposed by Mark D Lew):

(1) If it hasn't already passed, rule #60 is reproposed with this rule.
(2) If and when the specified "booby prize" is awarded, it shall take the form of a representation of actual boobies, nicely dressed up as a prize, trophy, or certificate, presented to the winner of the booby prize and documented in the zeen.
(3) It is not required that the boobies so depicted be those of the game's winner, but it's not required that they not be either....

#80 - Reset button (Proposed by Jason Bergmann):  All units are removed from the board, whether they are armies, fleets, air units or anything else.  The game year is reset to 1900.  All players are reduced to one supply center each, chosen by the GM from the current supply centers owned by the player.  The supply center will be a garrisoned home center.  (For garrison rules, see Rule 41.)  When choosing supply centers, the GM shall attempt to spread the players evenly across the board.  Players may build, as normal, in the next winter. 

#81 - Stop trying to win (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): Each turn, the GM must send any and all players who are trying to win the game to "time out."  The GM will determine whether any player or players are trying to win after considering the player's orders, rule proposals, votes, press, and general demeanor.  The decision is entirely within the GM's discretion.  A player sent to "time out" must sit out of the game for one turn.  During that turn, the player may not cast or spend votes, make rule proposals, or order units.  Such a player's units and supply centers are not affected by any other player during the period of such a time out.


Passed Rule Proposals:


Rule #1 - More Deviant Rule (Proposed by Jason Bergmann).  Paragraphs (5), (7), and (8) of the Deviant Diplomacy II variant rules are repealed and replaced with the following:


(1) Every Winter and Spring season, each starting player who controlled at least one supply center at the end of the previous Fall season may propose up to two rule changes.  Such players may choose to submit fewer than two rule proposals without consequence.


(2) Every Winter and Spring season, each starting player who controlled no supply centers at the end of the previous Fall season may propose up to one rule change.  Such players may choose to submit no rule proposals without consequence.


(3) Every Spring and Fall season, each starting player has a number of votes equal to one plus the number of supply centers the starting player controlled at the end of the previous Fall season. 


(4) Players may vote yes or no.  Players may cast all of their votes for or against any one rule proposal, or players can split yes and no votes among multiple rule proposals.  Players' votes are published.


(5) A no vote on any rule proposal cancels a yes vote.  The rule proposal receiving the most net yes votes goes into effect beginning the next season.  If more than one rule proposal tie for the most net yes votes, then all tied rules go into effect beginning the next season.  The rule proposal (or proposals) will go into effect even if the net yes votes are zero or negative.


(6) In addition to any rule proposals that go into effect under paragraph (5), additional rule proposals may also go into effect beginning the next season, if such proposals receive one or more net yes votes and if such proposals do not receive no votes from at least two different players.


(7) If two or more rule proposals would go into effect on the same turn but conflict explicitly or implicitly with each other, then both rules are null and void.


(8) The phrase "starting player" refers to the seven players who started this game, plus any standby player who succeeds the position of a starting player in this game.  The word "player" includes all starting players and all other persons who enter the game as a result of the passage of additional rules.


(9) This rule may be amended or repealed only by any rule proposal going into effect under paragraph (5).  Any rule proposal going into effect under paragraph (6) that amends or repeals this rule, or which conflicts explicitly or implicitly with the terms of this rule, will have no effect.


Rule #8 - "Barbarian Hordes, or the Excess Profits Tax." (Proposed by John David Galt).  When any power captures three or more supply centers (which he did not already own) in a single fall season, neutral armies known as "Barbarian Hordes" are immediately built in half of those centers (rounded down), selected at random by the GM.  This happens before the owner can build.

Once at least one Barbarian Horde exists on the board, player(s) may spend any or all of their rule votes to attempt to give an order to a Barbarian Horde.  Each Horde follows the order to it that gets the most votes.  If a Horde receives no orders, it is in disorder and holds.

If two or more orders to a Horde get the same number of votes, the tied orders are cancelled and Horde obeys the non-tied order with the most votes, even if that is a smaller number of votes than the tied orders got.

Barbarian Hordes are amphibious -- they can move to any land space as if they were armies, and to any water space as if they were fleets.  They cannot convoy or be convoyed.  They can support and be supported.  They cannot retreat, and are destroyed if dislodged -- but that is the only way to destroy them, because they do not need supply.

If a Barbarian Horde occupies a supply center after a Fall turn, that center becomes unowned.  However, a newly built Barbarian Horde does not affect the ownership of its starting location in the Fall turn in which it is built.

When a Barbarian Horde is built, the unit which captured that space is destroyed (thus allowing the owner to rebuild it normally in the Winter turn immediately afterward, if he holds enough centers).  [[By rule #45 this rule is no longer in effect.]]


Rule #13 – “The Duck Escapes Rule” (Proposed by Don Williams): Due to inept leadership, poor press writing, and insufficient cerebral bandwidth the French Republic under Don “Le Duc” Guillaume is swept away in a monstrously effective coup d’etat.  A new government and extremely popular government – to be headed by the extraordinarily handsome, exceptionally erudite, and press-prolific James “Le Burgess du L’Isle du Rhodes” Burgess – is immediately installed.  Tragically, as “Le Duc” is dragged straightforward to the guillotine for his just come-uppance, he is permanently unavailable to be re-called into this travesty of a dip game.


Rule #14 - Duck Williams Heart of Darkness Rule (Proposed by Jim Burgess): While Don Williams may be "out of the game" one can never be OUT of this game. Two new Provinces in Africa are created by this rule, accessed from Belgium (for obvious reasons) and London.  Belgium now also is attached to the Upper River province, which in turn is attached to the Lower River Province, which in turn is attached to London.  Only Fleets may enter this "river pathway" between London and Belgium, convoys may be made through it if two fleets are in it.  The first fleet entering this pathway is forever afterward dubbed "Marlow's Steamship" (again for obvious reasons) and that player shall then document to the GM (via CC or other means) E-Mails, phone calls, text messages, Facebook/Twitter postings etc. to Don Williams where they say "The horror, the horror!"  Besides driving Don nuts, Marlow's Steamship shall never be able to be dislodged or removed in the game (regardless of whether it has a supporting supply center) as long as the GM (in his infinite wisdom of how to bug people) views that the owner of Marlow's Steamship has sufficiently bugged Don that month.  [[For the basis of this rule “fleet” now refers to  both “fleet” and “marine unit.”]]


Rule #15 - Habsburg Relocation Act (Proposed by Mark D. Lew): Besieged by enemies on all sides, the Habsburg emperor pleads to Heaven for delivierance! Heaven answers, and the core of the empire is removed from Europe and transplanted to a paradise island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

The four spaces of Vie, Bud, Tri, and Ser are transplanted: They are no longer adjacent to Boh, Gal, Rum, Bul, Gre, Alb, Adr, Ven, or Tyo. They are each adjacent to Mid (and thus have a coast now). They retain their normal adjacency with respect to each other. Any units currently occupying those spaces are transplanted with them. The area where those spaces used to be is now a large impassable void.  [[By rule #45, this rule is no longer in effect.]]

Rule #16 - Drench the Vermin! (Proposed by Mark D. Lew): France, Russia and Germany are renamed Drance, Nussia, and Verminy. Whenever reporting game results, GM must list countries in the following order: Drance, England, Verminy, Italy, Austria, Nussia, Turkey.

Rule #17 - "Teleport Gates" (Proposed by John David Galt): The North Atlantic becomes adjacent to the Eastern Med.  The Gulf of Bothnia becomes adjacent to the Western Med.  Galicia becomes adjacent to Burgundy.  [[By rule #45, this rule is no longer in effect.]]

Rule #19 – “Marines” (Proposed by John Walker): All units are made into units called Marines.   Marines can move on Land, Water or by Air.  Marines have no movement restrictions if by air.  Air Movement takes 2 turns to complete, either a spring-fall or a fall-spring.  [[By this rule, there are no longer convoys.  Coasts are no longer necessary to specify, as the Marine units may move by land and sea.  Movements by air must be specified as “by air” or “via air.”  Destinations of air movements will not be revealed to the rest of the board until the 2nd turn, although the player MUST specify the destination with the original order; if you order Moscow – Paris via air, the first adjudication will merely state Moscow – Moscow Air.  The next adjudication will report Moscow Air – Paris.  If the landing fails due to a bounce or other interference, the unit returns to the original location the following movement season.  However, if unable to land at the location of origin because of a bounce or because it is occupied, the Marine which had attempted the air movement is destroyed, crashing due to lack of fuel.  Once a unit is in the air, the space it used to occupy can be immediately occupied.  In the above example, Moscow would be considered unoccupied immediately, so an uncontested move of Ukraine – Moscow would succeed even if ordered in the same season as Moscow – Moscow Air.]][[By rule #45, this rule is no longer in force.]]


Rule #21 - "It's All About the Rules" Rule (Proposed by Russell Blau):  Beginning with the season this rule goes into effect, each player (as defined in the More Deviant Rule) receives one Rule Point (RP) for each rule proposed by that player that goes into effect.  For every season in which voting takes place, each player receives one vote for each RP they hold, in addition to all votes provided for in other rules. Clause (9) of the Deviant Diplomacy II rules is repealed. The Victory Condition for this game is to control a majority of the awarded RPs, provided that no player can win the game until the total number of RPs awarded is greater than one-half the number of supply centers in existence.


Rule #22 - "Continent-Wide Web version 2.0" (Proposed by Russell Blau): Every passable space on the map is adjacent to the spaces immediately before and after it in alphabetical order. The list wraps around, so Yorkshire is adjacent to Adriatic Sea, and vice versa. All new coastlines created by this rule are considered to be contiguous to existing coastlines -- so, for example, a fleet that enters Yorkshire from the Adriatic can exist to the North Sea, and vice versa -- and new land boundaries created by this rule do not interrupt any existing coastlines. Each space's name is alphabetized based on how it is printed on the official map on the copy of The Game used by the GM. In addition, at the end of the Fall 1902 season, the GM will randomly select one land space for each power, from among all land spaces within that power's 1901 boundaries that is (a) not a supply center and (b) not occupied by any unit, which will immediately become a buildable home supply center for that power.  [[In effect, the new adjacencies are “worm hole” passages, because they do not change any other aspects of the board.  St. Petersburg is considered to be spelled out as Saint.  I haven’t found any, but if someone discovers before next turn that this rule contradicts Rule #15 by making Vie, Tri, Ser, or  Bud adjacent again to any of their original neighbors, then both rules are null and void by Rule #1 clause 7.  As I mentioned, I haven’t found that to be the case, but I could be wrong.  If no such contradiction is pointed out to me by the next deadline, both rules stand regardless.]]  [[By rule #45, the adjacency aspects of this rule are no longer in effect.  Also, by Scrambled Eggs, the extra centers are not necessarily build centers.]]


Rule #23 – “Island grabbing” (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): Effective immediately: Iceland is a German Home Center containing a German Fleet; Ireland is an English Home Center containing an English fleet; Corsica is an Austrian Home Center containing an Austrian Fleet; Sardinia is a French Home Center containing a French Fleet; Sicily is an Italian Home Center containing an Italian army; Crete is a Turkish Home Center Containing a Turkish Fleet; Cyprus is a Russian Home Center containing a Russian fleet.  All such spaces are now passable.  The Eternal Sunshine map shall be used to determine what other spaces to which they are adjacent.  In addition, Sicily and Naples are adjacent to each other, and Corsica and Sardinia are adjacent to each other.  [[By Scrambled Eggs, these are not necessarily build centers.]]


Rule #25 - The Boob Says Nay and Ducks (Proposed by Jim Burgess): Jim-Bob has NO interest in actually playing this game, so he gives control of all the units back to Don "The Duck" Williams.  So as to meet the criteria of the previously passed "unlucky" Rule 13, Don is NOT actually re-called into the game.  He just has to control all the units.  The Boob will retain all the voting and rule-proposing rights that are the only reason anyone would actually want to play this insane game and define who the actual players are.  If this rule passes, the Boob (aka Jim-Bob) can never push a piece, order a unit, or any other order writing construct that anyone cares to propose for any power for the rest of the game.  [[Don Williams will now be called on to submit movement orders for French units.]]


Rule #28 - Invisibility Spells (Proposed by John David Galt): Each Spring or Fall turn, each player may spend one of his rule votes to cause one of his units to become invisible.  The unit will act normally in all respects, but its location, and any orders to it, will be known only to its owner and the GM.  Invisibility takes effect immediately -- before the adjudication of orders on the same turn in which it is cast -- and only ends if the unit, at the end of any turn, is in a supply center which did not belong to the unit's owner at the beginning of that turn.  (On that turn its location is revealed but the order, if any, it received that turn is not.)  Neighboring units affected by the invisible unit will know whether their orders succeeded or not, but will not be told why.  [[This rule is no longer in force, except for one remaining invisible unit.]]


Rule #31 - Take over the Dulcinea (Proposed by Jim Burgess): As soon as this is passed (i.e. in the same issue), a "Dulcinae II" board is created with all the players and unit positions of the Dulcinae game.  All of the Dulcinae players control their units on the Dulcinae II board as well as the original board, but initially (until modified by future rules in this game) cannot issue orders any differently from in Dulcinae I, their submitted orders are also executed on Dulcinae II.  Every Fall turn, each player on the Black Licorice board randomly will have one of its units cloned onto the Dulcinae II board in the same location and it annihilates any existing Dulcinae II unit in that space.  If the randomly chosen unit is in a "new space", the entire rule creating that space will also be transferred to the Dulcinae II board -- otherwise all rules on the Dulcinae board are as in Standard Diplomacy (at least for now).  These units have one free game year, the unit does not have to be in a supply center to stay on the Dulcinae II board, but after that must support themselves by taking centers on the Dulcinae II board, centers are counted separately on each board.  [[This rule doesn’t actually take effect until ES #34, but since this rule does not do anything to the “Dulcinae II” game until the Fall turn (which I have decided to rule refers to the Fall turn in Black Licorice since Jim was not specific) it makes no difference whether it starts right now or not.]]  [[By Rule #45, this rule is no longer in effect.]]


Rule #32 - Take over Eternal Sunshine (Proposed by Jim Burgess): Rules proposed in Black Licorice can have real effects on other games in Eternal Sunshine.  If this rule passes and subsequent Black Licorice rules pass that affect other games, the GM/Publisher shall poll players in those games as to whether the Deviant rule shall take effect.  Any veto by any player in the "real" Eternal Sunshine game invalidates the Black Licorice rule for that game (rules proposed to affect multiple ES games can thus actually only affect a subset of those games).  These rules can be re-proposed, but can cause the GM to poll players in any given Eternal Sunshine game no more than once per Eternal Sunshine issue.  [[By Rule #45, this rule is no longer in effect.]]


Rule #34 - Snowball fighting! (Proposed by Mark D. Lew): During each winter season, each unit on the board may throw a snowball at any other unit on the board. When ordering throws, the player should specify a path of adjacent spaces, starting with the space occupied by the thrower and ending with the space of the target. (For snowball purposes, use adjacencies per the original map, ignoring any changes in game geography due to deviant rules. A snowball's path may include an impassable space such as Switzerland.) The path must be reasonably straight, as if drawing a straight line from somewhere in the one space to somewhere in the other, but will be judged generously if it seems close enough. If a path is clearly not straight, GM may either designate a new path with the same start and end space or else disqualify the throw as too preposterous.

Each snowball throw has a 1/N chance of hitting its target, where N is the length of the path including start and end spaces. It also has 1/N chance of hitting any unit in an intervening space along the path. Snowball throws are ordered with winter builds, but they are resolved after builds. Newly built units may neither throw nor be targeted, but they might be hit if they end up in an intervening path along a throw. Units about to be disbanded may throw or be targeted before they go, but they won't be around to get hit.

For each successful throw of length N=3 or more, the throwing player scores N style points. No style points are scored for hitting a unit other than the target, and no style points are scored for a throw of N=2. A player who scores eight or more style points in a turn gets one additional vote on rule proposals the following season. (Style points are not cumulative, and any number less than eight garners no voting benefit.)

Snowball hits taken by a unit are cumulative and tracked from year to year. During the winter season, any unit may, instead of throwing a snowball, be ordered to go inside and dry off. It takes no hits that winter and its cumulative total of hits is restored to zero. For each unit ordered to go inside and dry off, a player gets -5 style points that winter.

Any unit which suffers 20 snowball hits is considered pummeled and is treated as if in civil disorder for the rest of the game. It may not move or support during spring and fall turns. It also may not throw snowballs nor go inside during winter.  [[As the rule does not specify, a player MAY hit his own units with a snowball.  Also, once a snowball hits a unit, it stops its trajectory; so you can only hit one unit with each throw, and if you hit one along the path it never reaches the destination.  And to be clear, the chance for a hit is not variable; if you throw where N=5, the spaces along the way with units have a 1/5 chance of being hit, regardless of how far from the initial throwing space they are.]]

Rule #36 - In Democracy Flagrante (Reproposed by Russell Blau): After all other rules are resolved, the number of votes permitted by each player is doubled.


Rule #38 - Scrambled Eggs (Proposed by Jason Bergmann):  At the end of Winter 1902, after builds, all units will be redistributed randomly among all passable spaces.  Armies landing in water will become fleets.  Fleets landing in non-coastal land spaces will become armies.  In addition, supply centers will be redistributed among all players.  After such redistribution, each player will have the same number of supply centers, but such centers will be randomly chosen.  In Spring 1903, each player may designate three of his supply centers to be home centers.  (Russia may designate four) [[All units were Marines at the time, the changes from army to fleet and vice versa were ignored.]]


Rule #41 - Votes as Currency (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): During Spring and Fall turns, votes may be spent as follows:

(1) One vote to support a unit in place.
(2) Two votes to support any unit's move.
(3) Three votes to garrison a controlled supply center.  A garrisoned supply center has an intrinsic defensive strength of one if the area is unoccupied.  A garrison is destroyed if any other player's unit occupies the garrisoned space. 
(4) Five votes to buy one Rule Point.

These expenditures are in addition to those that are provided by other rules.

Rule #42 - Collapsing Wormholes (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): Each "wormhole" (i.e., adjacency between any two spaces that are not adjacent on the map published in Eternal Sunshine), immediately collapse after any unit successfully moves through it.  All other wormholes that touch either of those two spaces also immediately collapse.  No additional movement is allowed through a collapsed wormhole.  For each successful move that causes one or more wormholes to collapse, the moving player will receive 0.5 Rule Points.  (Fractional rule points do not round up.)  The adjacencies created by Rules 14, 17 and 22 are non-geographic adjacencies and qualify as wormholes.  The adjacencies created by Rules 15 and 23 are geographic adjacencies and do not qualify as wormholes.  With each game result, the GM shall publish an alphabetical list of all non-collapsed wormholes.  This rule does not apply retroactively.  [[This rule currently only applies to the adjacencies to the Upper and Lower River, as Rule #45 eliminated the rest.  The Upper River wormhole has collapsed, and the Lower River no longer exists due to Rule #55.]]


Rule #44 - It's 2 a.m., boys. Time to go home (Proposed by Mark D Lew): If at the end of the Fall 1910 turn no player has achieved victory, the game ends and Heather Taylor is declared the winner.

Rule #45 - Return to (Relative) Normalcy (Proposed by Mark D Lew): Now that we are completely scrambled, the board returns to normal and we try to regain our sanity:

Units, center ownership, and home centers remain as determined by the Egg Scrambling. Board adjacencies return to normal (reversing the effects of Continent-Wide Web, Habsburg Relocation, and Teleport Gates). The island spaces are still passable dots but with normal board adjacencies only (including Cor-Sar and Nap-Sic). Upper and Lower River still exist, treated as ordinary sea spaces adjacent to Belgium and London respectively and to each other.

Jim Burgess and Don Williams still control Drance's votes and moves as currently specified, but any other deviant business related to them is repealed, as are the rules extending Deviant influence to other games in the zeen (ie, #31 and #32).

All marines become armies or fleets (army if in a landlocked space, fleet if in a sea space, randomly chosen otherwise). Any marine currently in the air continues its flight as a marine but then reverts to army or fleet once it lands. No new marines may be built. Any barbarian horde currently existing continues as such until destroyed, but the rule is repealed with regard to new barbarians. Any unit currently invisible remains so until revealed, but the rule is repealed with regard to new invisibility. (That is, #8, #19, and #28 are no longer in effect once their current alterations expire.)

Other rules (ie, #1, #16, #21, #34) remain in effect.

In re-establishing normalcy, this rule does not override any new abnormalcies (eg, adjacencies) passed simultaneously.

#50 - "Say the Secret Woid and Win a Hundred Dollars" (Proposed by Russell Blau):  In every issue of Eternal Sunshine, the GM will publish a secret word, somewhere _outside_ the Black Licorice game report.  The secret word will be clearly identified; for example, the zine may say "The secret word is zucchini"; but the GM can vary the exact phrasing so that players cannot easily find the answer with a simple text search. Each player who correctly repeats the secret word in their orders the following season can cast extra votes equal to one-half their current vote total, dropping any fractions. In Winter, if there is no voting [if Rule #39 does not pass], players who correctly repeat the secret word can make an extra rule proposal. 


#53 - "Plunder" (Proposed by John David Galt): Any unit which is in a supply center during a spring or fall turn, and performs no other action in that turn except to hold, may plunder that supply center.  Barbarian Hordes may plunder.  Plundering fails only if the unit ordered to plunder is dislodged on that turn. A plundered space ceases to be a supply center for any purpose for two full game years beginning at the end of the turn in which it was plundered.  (Thus a space plundered in Spring 1904 would become a supply center again after Spring 1906.)

#55 – “Disappearing Spaces” (Proposed by Mark D Lew): Each spring or fall, after adjudication of moves, the least popular space will be removed from the game. GM will identify the unoccupied space which has gone unoccupied for the longest time. If there is a tie, GM will randomly choose from among them. This space will be annexed by one adjacent space, again chosen at random by the GM. Thenceforth, the disappearing space no longer exists, and the annexing space now occupies the entire area of the two spaces combined. The annexing space maintains all its original qualities, including name, land/sea, dot/non-dot, and occupying unit. For example, if the Tyrrhenian Sea is annexed by Tunis, then the new Tunis would become a large land space dot which now borders Lyo, Tus, Rom and Nap; it would have two coasts, and Rome would no longer have a coast. 

#58 - Junior Birdman (Proposed by Pete Gaughan): An air attack automatically defeats any unit or movement on the ground.  [[This rule will have no effect unless Marines or some other airborne unit is adopted.]]


Rule #60 - Heather Wins Regardless (Proposed by Jim Burgess): If some player achieves what appear to be victory conditions by current or any future rules prior to Fall 1910, then Heather Taylor still wins and the "winner" on the board gets a booby prize


Rule #61 – Blackjack (Proposed by Russell Blau): After each Fall season, the GM will shuffle a standard
52-card deck of playing cards and deal out one card to each supply center.  Each player's blackjack hand consists of the cards dealt to that player's owned centers.  As per normal blackjack rules, face cards are worth 10, and
aces are either 1 or 11, whichever gives the player the better result.  The player with the best hand (highest value less than or equal to 21) wins, and gets an extra off-board supply center for the following game year.

Rule #62 - RP Decay (Proposed by Russell Blau):  Rule Points are radioactive.  Each game-year, there is a 1/20 probability that any given RP will decay (i.e., be permanently lost).  Decays will be calculated during the Winter adjustment phase.


Rule #67 - The Center Cannot Hold (Proposed by Jack McHugh): Every year, after winter builds but before spring orders, each player chooses one unit to go rogue (in the event of a tie the the GM will randomly chose a unit to go rogue.) The unit is considered in civil disorder and will hold in place but cannot be supported by anyone. The unit is removed if forced to retreat or if not on a center during any winter turn.


Rule #70 - Nasty Nussia Needs to be Neighborly (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): During this time of economic crisis, a populist backlash against Nussian executive bonuses has drastic consequences.  As a result, each non-Nussian starting player casting at least two votes for this proposal may name (along with such votes) one Nussian controlled supply center that will immediately become a home supply center controlled by such player, along with any unit located within.  In case of a conflict between two players who choose the same supply center, the player with the heaviest concentration of nearby units (as determined by the GM) will gain control.  For each supply center so lost, Nussia may convert one non-home supply center into a home supply center in the forthcoming winter and may throw one snowball from each new home center named during that winter.  [[Sardinia was the only center named by an eligible player – Turkey – so Sardinia is now a Turkish home and build center.]]

Rule #71 - Spring Training (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): Each starting player may name, along with their Spring 1904 orders, one major league baseball organization.  For each spring training win earned by that organization, the starting player will receive one RP.  For each spring training loss suffered by that organization, the starting player will lose one RP.  The same baseball organization may be chosen by multiple starting players.  Starting players failing to choose a baseball organization with their Spring 1904 orders will be assigned the Washington Nationals, which can barely be described as an organization and whose games can barely be described as baseball.  [[Italy takes the Giants, Nussia takes the A’s, and Turkey takes the Angels.  Everybody else gets the Nationals.  These RP will be added or subtracted each issue AFTER the turn, based on the record at that point.  So you can’t use the RP’s (or you don’t lose them) until you see the adjustment in an issue of ES.]]



Nussia - Turkey:  OK, I get it. I'm not supposed to try to win. But can I try to get the booby prize?


England - Nussia: Oh, it's on, brother.


Lew to World:  Also, I have no idea how this blood-drenched knife got into my hands; I don't know why Bergmann's lifeless body is sprawled over my living room floor and getting those nasty stains on the rug; and I really don't understand what the word "ally" means. 


Black Press Gunboat, “Maple Sugar,” 2009Crb32, W 03/S 04

Austria: Remove F Greece.. A Budapest – Galicia, A Serbia – Budapest, A Trieste – Venice,

 A Tyrolia Supports A Trieste - Venice.

England: F English Channel - Picardy (*Fails*), F North Sea Supports F Norwegian Sea (*Cut*),

 F Norwegian Sea Supports F North Sea.

France: Disband A Belgium.. A Marseilles - Gascony (*Bounce*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Western Mediterranean,

 A Paris - Gascony (*Bounce*).

Germany: Build F Kiel.. A Belgium – Picardy, A Burgundy Supports A Belgium – Picardy,

 F Denmark Supports F Norway - North Sea, A Holland – Belgium, F Kiel – Holland,

 A Munich Supports A Burgundy.

Italy: Build A Venice.. F Adriatic Sea – Trieste, A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*), F Tunis - Ionian Sea,

 A Venice Supports F Adriatic Sea - Trieste (*Dislodged*, retreat to Apulia, Rome, Tuscany, or OTB),

 A Vienna Supports F Adriatic Sea - Trieste.

Russia: F Armenia - Ankara (*Fails*), F Black Sea - Bulgaria(ec) (*Fails*), A Finland - Norway (*Fails*),

 F Norway - North Sea (*Fails*), A Rumania Supports F Black Sea - Bulgaria(ec),

 A St Petersburg Supports A Finland - Norway (*Fails*), A Ukraine no move received.

Turkey: F Aegean Sea Supports A Bulgaria, F Ankara Hold, A Bulgaria Supports A Serbia - Rumania (*Void*),

 A Constantinople Supports F Ankara.


Fall 1904 Deadline is March 30th at 7:00am my time




Four Corner ReportAustrian Civil War creates new Corner Power, of all countries Italy on verge of great power status.  Now France and Austria are collapsing! Russia, Italy are in command of the Boards corners and the game!


France – England : Thank you for your intended help. I will take Spa or Por in the Fall, so you might like to shift your fleets southward to collect the other one?


GermanyRussia: Will repeat until you've made it!  I will also Support after.  My request is that your Fleet supports my new fleet into Eng (when the move becomes legal!).  Looking ahead, if you build another StP Fleet we could both take England.


France – Germany : I sincerely hope your actions this year match your words last! I am happy to retire gracefully and act as a southern buffer against Italy for you.


France – Italy : Surely more gains in Austria just now?


Reuters: Austrian Emperor goes MAD in Fall of 1903 he orders German units from Bur to Bel.  Emperor sent to Sanitarium, Empress takes over reigns of power.  General Staff orders march on Ven and reinforcements for Vie campaign. Austria abandons Greece and is not expected to be a viable power in Winter 1904.  





By Popular Demand

Credit goes to Ryk Downes, I believe, for inventing this.  The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer.  Your score for this answer will be doubled.  In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.  Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds.  A prize will be awarded to the winner.  Research is permitted!


Round 5 Categories

1. A flavor of flavored coffee.

2. A television detective (character name).

3. A currency used officially by at least one African nation.

4. A musical film.

5. A color people dye their hair


Selected Comments By Category:

Coffee – Melinda Holley “Flavored coffee is an abomination and should be outlawed.”  Allison Kent “I love French Vanilla but my answer is going to be Hazlenut.”  Tom Swider “I will NEVER drink a flavored coffee.  Then again, I don’t drink coffee period.”  Dane Maslen “The concept of flavoured coffee was largely alien to me (mocha is the only one I'd ever really come across, though I might have noticed coffee shops promoting one or two others, so learning about all the various outrageous flavours available came as something of a shock).”


Detective – Andy York “I don't think there are many of them out there these days, police procedurals, but not focusing on detectives (except the Law and Order franchise). I'll go with Munch, is he still on one of the L&O shows?”  William Wood “I must include a Belgian.”  Allison Kent “This is a hard one.  There are SO MANY from different times.”  Philip Murphy “Columbo: possibly the cheesiest, most stereotypical, and therefore most hilarious detective ever.”  [[Hate to burst your bubble Philip, but at the time Columbo was the antithesis of all television detectives.  Poorly dressed, forgetful, annoying, sloppy…and it was an OUTRAGE to the network that an episode could go for as long as twenty minutes before the star appeared.  Read The Columbophile or one of the other excellent books on the making of the series.]]  Dane Maslen “I'm showing my age with the television detective.”


Currency – Heather Taylor “How the hell do I know?” Philip Murphy “I was going to say the Zimbabwean dollar but then again the people are using US greenbacks so best not then...”  Dane Maslen “I've played my joker on 'rand' only because I don't know any other African currencies and I'm hoping that other players are similarly ignorant.” 


Musical – Paraic Reddington “I was sorely tempted to go with Paint Your Wagon, which is my favourite musical of all time. Ignore me while I sing. Where'm I going I don't know, when will I be there I ain't certain, all I know is I am on my way. Got a dream boy, got a song. Paint your wagon and come along....”  Andy York “OK, what's been in the popular culture lately (and, no, I'm not going with "High School Musical"). I'll have to go with "Sound of Music" - it at least gets decent coverage with TV reruns.”  Allison Kent “I have a feeling Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or Willie Wonka won’t be contenders.”  Tom Swider “I will never watch High School Musical, although I did go to High School.”  Philip Murphy “Mary Poppins. She terrified me as a kid - Most kids dream of a boogeyman coming to get you - me, I dreamt of Mary Poppins coming to sing *at* me. *shivers*.”  Dane Maslen “I came up with far too many plausible answers for the musical film and none of them seemed to stand out from the others, so after briefly toying with 'Mamma Mia!', I've decided to show my age again.” 


Hair Color – Tom Swider “I don’t anticipate dying my hair blonde.”  Philip Murphy “Because, apparently, they have more fun. Even dyed ones. *rolls eyes*”  Dane Maslen “As for hair colour, I've absolutely no idea what a popular answer is likely to be.”


Duck Williams, already in the lead after last turn, rudely decided to score highest again!


Round 6 Categories – Deadline is March 30th at 7:00am my time

1. Any lead singer of a musical band.

2. Something a kite design is meant to look like.

3. A U.S. state generally regarded as a bad place to live.

4. A popular television show in the 1950’s.

5. A color you see in a rainbow.



Eternal Sunshine Movie Quote Contest


There are ten rounds of movie quotes, and each round consists of ten quotes.  Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. If you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds.  A prize will be awarded to the winner – and it might be a very good prize!  Research is not permitted!  So please try to avoid the temptation to Google the quotes.  Im doing many of the quotes from memory anyway, so you won’t necessarily be able to find them by direct search…so don’t try!  Each round will also contain one bonus point, which is awarded if you can tell me what the ten movies being quoted have in common.


Round Three

#1. We’re gonna get you.  We’re gonna get you.  Not another peep.  Time to go to sleep.  The Evil Dead, Correct - PV  Casper the Friendly Ghost – BW, My Aunt Vestie - No one wanted a sleep-over at her house – MH, The Tommyknockers – RD, Halloween - JB.


#2. She doesn’t like it in the barn.  The horses keep her up at night.  The Ring, Correct – JB PV  Charlotte’s Web – BW, My Uncle Olin (talking about his sister, Parthenia).  Not sure if he was drunk or sober at the time – MH, Interview With the Vampire – RD, Throw Momma From the Train – JM.


#3. Guess I always wanted to work with children. I hate when people call 'em kids. Sounds like little goats. But when you've had a dream as long as I have, you'll do anything.  Friday the 13th, Correct – JB pv. Mrs. Doubtfire – BW, My Cousin Iris who was always complaining that she was never able to live her 'dream'. – MH, Misery – RD.  Kindergarten Cop – JM.


#4. Can I bring the lovebirds, Mitch? they haven't harmed anyone.  The Birds,  Correct – BW PV RD AL JB,  Change lovebirds to kittens and Mitch to Daddy, and it's my Cousin Janice. - MH


#5. 31 bucks, Merry Fucking Christmas!  Silent Night, Deadly Night  Pretty much anyone on my Dad's side of the family. – MH, The Shining – RD.  Bad Santa – JB, PV.


#6. We must not be lulled by the concept that these are our family members or our friends. They are not. They will not respond to such emotions.  Dawn of the Dead, Correct – JB PV.  My Cousin Jimmy who always wanted to be a Vulcan. – MH, From Dusk Till Dawn – RD, Night of the Living Dead - AL.


#7. A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. They both get pissed. The giraffe falls over. The man goes to leave and the bartender says, "Oi. You can't leave that lyin' there." And the man says, "No. It's not a lion. It's a giraffe."  28 Days Later, Correct – JB PV.  Sounds like my Cousin Ed.  Not sure if he was drunk or sober at the time. - MH


#8. I never drink…  Dracula, Correct – AL JB PV.  See # 5 above. – MH, Queen of the Damned – RD.


#9. If it’s a caper, then eat it. Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Correct – JB.  Bonnie & Clyde – BW, Change caper to anything edible and it's my Dad. - MH

#10. You've had your whole fucking life to think things over, what good's a few minutes more gonna do you now?  The Shining, Correct – JB PV  My Cousin-In-Law, Lewis, who married my Cousin Susan, divorced her, married our mutual cousin, Ellen, divorced HER, and then married Susan's sister, Lenore.  Not sure if he was drunk or sober at the time,'s West Virginia. – MH, The Mist – RD.


Bonus: What do all these films have in common? They are all Horror Movies Correct – RD AL JB PV, I’ve Never Seen Any of Them – BW, All have been said by a member of my family - MH


[[I actually thought #8 was such a classic lien that any movie buff would know it.  I also though The Birds, The Shining, and Invasion of the Body Snatchers (if you’ve ever seen the Donald Sutherland version) were easy.  Obviously I wasn’t entirely correct…but if you were able to pick up on the theme, you might have been able to guess a few.  I believe Round Four might prove easier for some folks.  And remember – I’m likely to give prizes to more than just the first place winner, and there are still seven rounds to go.  So join in!]]


Scores: BW – Brendan Whyte (1 + 1 = 2), DM – Dane Maslen (0 + 2 = 2), PV - Pat Vogelsang (9 + 13 = 22) In the Lead, RD – Rick Desper (2 + 6 = 7), PR – Paraic Reddington (0 + 2 = 0), AL – Andy Lischett (3 + 1 = 4), AY – Andy York (0 + 3 = 3), JB – Jim-Bob Burgess (9 + 12 = 21), JM – Jack McHugh (0 + 12 = 12), DW – Don Williams (0 + 6 = 6), MH – Melinda Holley (0 + 0 = 0).


Round Four


#1. You've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a concentration camp.


#2. I hate the British! You are defeated but you have no shame. You are stubborn but you have no pride. You endure but you have no courage.


#3. Here we are. You got me into your house. You give me a drink. You put on music. Now you start opening up your personal life to me, and tell me your husband won't be home for hours.


#4. You had the talent to become a good fighter, but instead of that, you become a leg-breaker to some cheap, second rate loan shark!


#5. He better be worth it. He better go home and cure a disease, or invent a longer-lasting light bulb.


#6. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!


#7. Twenty zloty, that's all we have left, twenty zolty. What can I buy with twenty zloty? I am sick of cooking potatoes, potatoes, potatoes.


#8. That's the one good thing about Paris: there's a lot of girls willing to take their clothes off.


#9. They showed no corrections of any kind. Not one!. He had simply written down music already finished in his head; page after page of it as if he were just taking dictation.


#10. What do I think? I think you're married to a fat lady and you go home and you fuck the living daylights out of her!


Bonus: What do all these films have in common?


Deadline for your answers to Round 4: March 30th at 7:00am my time


General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:  March 30th, 2010 at 7:00am my time

See You Then!