By Douglas Kent,
After May 29: 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149
On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at http://www.diplomacyworld.net. Also remember to check out http://www.helpfulkitty.com for official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his available merchandise! Links to many of the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button in the main menu of the Whining Kent Pigs website. Or go to http://www.guysexplained.com where women can learn all the secrets of how a man’s mind works, and why they act the way they do.
All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/ to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata. We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/EternalSunshDip, and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=112223650909
Quote Of The Month – “That was beautiful to watch, Howard. Like a surgeon or a concert pianist. ” (Mary in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)
Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine in the world which is moving from Dallas to Mesquite a week after this issue comes out. That’s right folks, Memorial Day weekend, while the rest of you are eating burgers and getting drunk (or in the UK, cursing whichever local team you’re a fan of), Heather and I will be relocating to our home at 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX, 75149. I’ve included some photos in previous issues…this month I’m just going to add one or two of the work in progress, and hopefully when ES #42 comes out we’ll have some photos of the house looking the way Heather wants it to look.
The dark red is the master bedroom. The violet (called Heather Mist) is the guest room/2nd bedroom.
With all the moving crap we’re dealing with, you might expect this issue to be rather short when it comes to my personal contributions. Guess what? You’re right. I simply did not have the time or energy to do a full-length chapter of Fire and Rain; that will return in ES #42, but there is a short entry at least. Besides that, all you’ll get from me personally is this introduction and the usual sections (although the movie review section is almost blank; no time for going out to movies this month, and almost no time for watching DVD’s). There are some entertaining columns in this issue, including rare and valuable contributions from Richard Walkerdine, and a new column from Jerri Blank. Andy York is taking this month off as well, and the Deviant Diplomacy game is held back one month as nobody seemed to have time to figure out all their orders. May must have been a rough month for a lot of us! Anyway, take advantage of whatever IS included, and read the thing from cover to cover!
Did I mention I got into a car wreck? On the way to work, immediately after closing on the house…I was driving in the left lane of a road in Uptown Dallas, and a woman in the lane to my right decided it might be fun to turn left. I don’t mean waiting for me to pass, or even turning left in front of me so I could screech on the brakes and curse her. No, she decided to turn left THROUGH my car. Actually the damage wasn’t so terrible – just one door panel and one quarter panel. It still took 10 days for the body shop to fix, and now I can’t get my inspection renewed until I drive it for a few more days (I’ve already failed twice, which was simply because the sensors haven’t been driven enough to get a reading). The fun never ends!
The only other news is the Diplomacy event I ran at TexiCon. Well, I mean the event I was SUPPOSED to run. Heather got terribly sick on Friday the 21st, and I had to take her to the doctor the following day. So despite all my intentions, I wound up not being able to run the event. Next year, assuming they have a TexiCon next year, maybe I can plan ahead, promote better, and build it into a two-round (or two-day) event! We’ll just have to see.
Okay, time’s up (for right now)…I’ve got to make a few trips back and forth from apartment to house, moving boxes (we’re having a moving company do our furniture, but everything else we are moving ourselves). Actually the process isn’t so bad. We don’t give up this apartment until the end of June, so if we haven’t moved all the boxes in time, we can just leave them here and keep bringing a carload or two a day until it is finished.
Now go sign up for something (the Final Conflict game needs at least one taker to stay on the list), write a letter, write a column, answer the hypothetical questions, try some movie quotes….participate dammit! Or else…who knows? One day I’ll just fade away, and Eternal Sunshine with me….
The Month’s Playlist: Squeezing Out Sparks – Graham Parker; Nine Objects of Desire – Suzanne Vega; A Quiet Normal Life – Warren Zevon; The Very Best of Elvis Costello and the Attractions; The Near Demise of the High Wire Dancer - Antje Duvekot.
Fire and Rain – Part Seven
After her second letter, while I continued to get plenty of mail from elsewhere, Mara’s letters ceased to arrive. From this I suspected one of four things:
1. She was back in the hospital again, likely a mental hospital but there was always the chance it was a physical issue.
2. Her life had suddenly gotten very busy, and with her working for the first time in a decade, she didn’t have the energy or desire to write again at the moment.
3. She was terribly depressed, and wasn’t doing anything at all (except maybe smoking pot).
4. She had committed suicide.
The idea that she would have killed herself was nothing new, of course. I didn’t need the casual mention of it in her last letter to remind me. The fact is, once someone attempts suicide in a serious way (instead of a weak-hearted “cry for help”), it is forever on the table as an option which is being considered. So while I hoped it hadn’t happened, it would not have been a shock. How I might react to such an event was unknown, but it wouldn’t be like a slap in the face…I’d worried about, worked against, or half-expected her to successfully commit suicide for many years.
The next time I spoke to Heather, I asked her to keep an eye out on the internet, doing searches for both Mara’s name and her husband’s name. In particular, I wanted her to check the obituary sections of Florida newspapers online. We couldn’t call Mara, since she had no phone…and neither of us wanted to try and track down her parents or family. We’d just have to wait and see when one of us heard from Mara again, or when some other information came our way.
Heather’s internet searches weren’t able to find any information, but the as the days turned to weeks I began to believe that Mara was either in the hospital or dead. It was hard not to feel negative about the situation; I hoped I was wrong, but I didn’t believe I would be. One way or another, I didn’t think it was likely that any real, solid, good news was going to head our way.
Then, in late December – just about Christmas – I called Heather, and she gave me the first update we’d had since the letters stopped coming. Heather had mailed Mara a Hanukah card, and it had come back unopened. A barely legible hand had crossed out Mara’s address and written a single word next to it: DECEASED.
Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1. Your 12-year-old son asks you to buy him a copy of Playboy magazine. Do you? #2. A relative has left your child a fund in your trust. You learn of a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity and have no other available money. Do you use the trust fund?
Melinda Holley - #1 - Yes...with his money. If he wants it, he has to pay for it. American society is so hypocritical about sexual matters. I figure if he's that curious, better Playboy that some Internet sites.
#2 - Oh, hell, no! Even if the opportunity is good and the return on the investment is fabulous, you're still gambling with someone else's money. Depending on how the actual trust is written, you're most likely breaking the law because trust funds are supposed to be used for very specific purposes. Now, if the trust is written so that you have discretion to use the funds for investment, legally you're covered if the opportunity fails. But I think it's a bad idea.
Andy York - #1 - Hard to say as I don't have kids, much would depend on his maturity level and which article he wanted to read....
#2 - Depends on the investment, expected return and reliability of the opportunity. But, probably not as I'd do the best I can to protect the trust fund and find a method for a decent, and safe, return on the investment.
Reddington: #1 - No way. He can borrow one of mine. Actually no, he can't but he
can use the internet so he can do far better than Playboy anyway.
#2 - Yes
absolutely. 'Tis better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at
all. Bringing up kids is all about risk and reward. You take your chances and
hope for the best. It's not like you're going to the casino and putting
everything on black.
Philip Murphy: #1 - No,
for two reasons. One, in my mind twelve is too young for a boy to look at
Playboy. Secondly, even if he were old or mature enough, he should spend his
own money on it rather than beg off Dad. It's important that kids learn to save
for what they want (though maybe not for that!) and buy it themselves.
#2 - No way. The only exception is if I was a formal trustee of a trust fund for the child and I had been given discretion to invest on behalf of the child. And even then it would be on their behalf, not mine.
Andy Lischettt: #1 - No.
#2 - Probably not. If the money will be needed for something like college or medical expenses and there isn't enough, I might invest some in a risky - but not foolish - deal. But if the money will be needed for the kid's new Ferrari or a villa in France at age 25, I'd just leave it in something nice and safe like GM stock.
Don Williams - #1 – Yes. He’s gotta learn sometime.
#2 – I do not. That is a fiduciary issue. Besides, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is still a gamble.
Kevin Wilson: #1 - Playboy, probably. Others, probably not. Playboy seems to be the least offensive and he’s going to see it anyway.
#2 - No. If it is gift, then until my child is old enough to participate in any decision, it stays as is.
Heather Taylor: #1 – I’d really have to think about it, but I appreciate his honesty in asking me. So maybe.
#2 – No. That’s not my money, I wouldn’t touch it. Everybody always thinks they’re going to get rich with a once in a lifetime thing, but they usually end up losing everything.
For Next Month (For the time being, I am selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises). Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: #1 – You are planning to quit in five months when your company gives you a high paying management job. If you still intend to quit, do you tell your boss now? #2 – You accidentally drop your new stereo and invalidate your warranty. There is no visible evidence of the accident. Do you mention it when going for repairs?
With the move, work, the lousy choices this month, and the early deadline, we didn’t see a single movie. Hasn’t happened in a while.
Seen on DVD – Animal Farm (C, still moderately interesting from a historical perspective, but otherwise not so much). Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (C-, heard about it for many years, had never seen it…now I know there was no reason to. Perhaps in its day it was more original). Cracker – Season 1 (A. Yes, this is the awesome BBC version, not the awful American remake. I tried to get Heather into watching this a while back, but I only had Season 3 then, and it opens with so many story threads underway she hated it. But beginning with Seson 1, Episode 1, she is rightfully in love with it).
Rick Desper: Far be it for me to question your editorial judgment, but why do you have a 3+ page explanation of linear regression in this issue? Is there a statistics journal somewhere with a 3 page article on how to play Italy?
[[There might be, who knows? Are you saying that the entire readership of Eternal Sunshine knows everything they need to know about linear regression? I think not…]]
Swider: Will have to see "Art of
the Steal" (I think it's playing at the viewing room here in Harrisburg),
as I didn't know it was about Albert Barnes. He's
the quintessential "ugly American" and "Philadelphian".
Sarcastic but smart, quick to whip out a check and score a Matisse or Cezanne
at bargain prices. Thumb the nose at society elite. Gotta love
him! The Barnes Foundation is
certainly a treat, and I'd echo Brad Wilson's recommendation ... if you haven't
been there before, do whatever it takes to visit before the collection leaves
Andy York: Regarding last issues Hypothetical situation regarding loans to best friends, I think I should expand upon my answer based on other folks' responses. To me, there is a big difference between a friend and a "best" friend. Best friends are family, really more than family. They are the people when, in the military or as a police officer, you would unreservedly know that they would "have your back" and you trust completely with your life. Outside of that, best friends are those you'd allow to be executors of your estate, be parents to your children (if you died) and to have power of attorney/decision making in a living will. So, a monetary loan (assuming I could afford it) is part and parcel of the relationship.
[[Hmm, and here I thought best friends are the ones who give you the good Life Saver flavors and keep the crappy ones for themselves…]]
Paraic Reddington: Regarding “Linear Regression as an Averaging Technique” - Paul you have got to be kidding right? I had to have a 6-pack after reading that just to get my brain back to normal.
[[Since when was your brain
normal to begin with?]]
Andy Lischett: Congratulations on the house. Looks like a nice place that needs some lawn care.
[[A lot of lawn, so a lot of
Larry Cronin: You'll be glad to know I am finally finding time to read your zine cover to cover. There is a line in my film review that I think you need to pay attention to: "We need to let go of our life-text and grab onto our fuller selves, leaving our memories to be what they are and move on to script ourselves anew." I'm not going to otherwise be your shrink. But for people in general, I think you get a better spouse if you go hunting for the person who will make a great mom for your children. Isn't that the basic genetic agenda anyway?
[[I suppose if you are going to have children, or want any…then again, based on what you see in relationships, individuals are often the worst judges of who would make a good parent for their children. I think friends need to speak up more and be honest about their opinions.
With that said, if I was going to have any children, I could think of nobody I would rather have them and raise them with than Heather.
Oh, and maybe we should start a Larry Cronin column in ES, just about psychiatry? What do you think?]]
Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance
By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – firstname.lastname@example.org
(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)
Still looking for work, and struggling in every way imaginable. Help a brother out, would ya? Meanwhile I have started a web hosting service, so if you are looking to set up a web site give me a shot! You can see the info and pricing plans at http://www.jackswebhosting.com/
I’m too depressed to write about my Phillies, even though they are doing great. And don’t give me any of that “cheating” crap either, ya shitheads.
Adult’s-Only By Popular Demand
The players so far: Heather Taylor (HT), Mark D Lew (MDL), Martin Burgdorf (MB), John David Galt (JDG), Kevin Wilson (KW), Paraic Reddington (PR), Michael Moulton (MM), Bill Brown (BB), Brendan Whyte (BW).
Round 6 Categories:
1. A man women fantasize about. Tom Cruise – BW. Brad Pit – MM, HT (with the disclaimer “but I don’t). Johnny Depp – MB. George Clooney – PR.
2. An excuse men use for poor sexual performance. Your Sister Gets Me Going Better/Faster/Longer – BW. Too Much to Drink – MM, MB, HT. Recent Masturbation – PR.
3. An excuse women use to avoid sex (other than headache) Headache – BW. Tired – MM, MB, HT. Period – PR.
4. A sexy fabric. Silk – BW, MM, MB, PR. Satin – HT.
5. A film with a rape scene some secretly find erotic. ? – BW. Last Tango in Paris – MM. A Clockwork Orange – MB. Deliverance – PR. I Spit on Your Grave – HT.
New Scores: Martin Burgdorf (MB) – 111, Mark D Lew (MDL) - 100, Heather Taylor (HT) - 98, Michael Moulton -(MM) - 96, Bill Brown (BB) - 94, Kevin Wilson (KW) – 91, Paraic Reddington (PR) - 87, The Secret Word is still Penis, Brendan Whyte (BW) – 86, John David Galt (JDG) – 57.
Round 7 Categories:
1. A celebrity reputed to have a massive number of sexual conquests.
2. A food supposed to be an aphrodisiac.
3. How many times a month the average American adult male has intercourse.
4. A sexy female name.
5. In inches, the average length of an erect penis.
Deadline will be the Friday before Doug’s deadline, which means this month it will be June 25th at midnight.
afternoon a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along
the roadside eating grass. Disturbed,
he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have
to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the Scotsman said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the Scotsman replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children
"Bring them all, as well," the Scotsman answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the Scotsman and said, "Sir, you are too kind..
Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The Scotsman replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high"
A guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini."
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168."
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious...
So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini."
Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100."
The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time…
He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini," and the robot brings him another great martini.
The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50.."
The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"
THE LITTLE BIRD WHO DIDN’T WANT TO FLY SOUTH FOR THE WINTER
by Richard Walkerdine
Once upon a time there was a little bird who decided he didn’t want to fly south for the winter. The weather was still good, quite warm in fact, there were plenty of berries on the bushes, and although all his little bird friends were flying south he decided to stay where he was.
But of course he soon realized his mistake. The weather worsened, it got a lot colder, there was snow in the air and he decided perhaps he should fly south after all.
Unfortunately he had left it too late. As he started to fly south it got colder and colder, ice started to form on his little wings and eventually the buildup of ice caused him to stall and he fell to the ground. Crash! Right in the middle of a farm yard.
He lay there for several minutes, half stunned and almost frozen to death. But then a cow happened to walk by and, as it walked past the little bird, dropped a cow pat right on top of him. “Ugh,” spluttered the little bird, “what’s all this messy stuff?”
But the warmth of the cow pat soon began to defrost his frozen body and after a few minutes (little birds not having much of a sense of smell) he was feeling much more lively again. So, as little birds do, he began to chirrup.
The sound of his chirruping however attracted the attention of the farmyard cat, which came across to investigate. Seeing the little bird in the cow pat the cat carefully eased him out with one paw, wiped most of the mess off him, and then jumped on him and ate him – as cats do.
Which is sadly the end of the little bird. But it is not the end of my story because we can draw three morals from this tale.
The first moral is that he who lands you in the shit is not necessarily your enemy.
The second moral is that he who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
But the third moral, and I think the most important, is that if you find yourself in the shit and nobody else has noticed then it’s usually best to keep quiet about it!
THREE GIRLS APPLY FOR A JOB
by Richard Walkerdine
Three girls applied for a job at Boeing. After their interviews they were all told that their travel expenses would be refunded in full. They all filled in the appropriate form and then went home.
A week later they all received a money draft in the post to cover their expenses. However, the Boeing finance department being what it was, they all received a draft for exactly double the amount they had claimed.
The first girl saw the error and immediately sent back the excess to Boeing with a short covering note explaining what had happened.
The second girl also noticed the error but thought, “I wonder if they will notice? I know, I’ll put the excess on deposit and,.if they do want it back, I can send it and still keep the interest.”
The third girl also noticed the error. Her reaction was to say, “Hey, that’s great. Now I can buy that new dress for the party next week!”
Which girl got the job? Answer next issue...send in your guesses to Doug!
A Column About Nothing
By Jerri Blank
I hadn't really planned on writing anything, especially something that might be seen by the public! But as I had been moving a particular out-of-date and heinously unorganized stack of Vogue magazines, it kind of hit me that if some random person picked up out of a shopping aisle at the local Wal-Mart could write an article about the latest fashions for a nationwide magazine... I could write an column for a zine right? Lucky for me, I don't actually have to hear your answer to that question. Actually, with my dry sense of humour and poor writing experience, it is probably better that I can't hear any responses to this entry, and I am instead safe under my blanket of assumed success. What better cure for the blues than a witty story (assumed success kicking in already) that makes others laugh? Nothing in my book.
At this point, I had decided to write something…I just had no idea what I would write about. I couldn't do any reviews. Whether on music, books, or movies, I have an odd taste in entertainment…one usually seen as poor in quality and not generally accepted as critic-like. I don't have any sense when it comes to fashion, and I absolutely refuse to talk about kitchen tips or household upkeep like the typical stay-at-home female. That's pretty limiting! It was somewhere in this mental check-list of disliked topics that my mind decided it needed to jump to an event that happened in my daily walk. A perfectly etched video of my beautiful white Labrador raising his hackles and barking at a jogger that [in his mind] had gotten a little too close to me, played out in my head. Although it didn't really provide me with a cure-all answer to my writer's block, it did cause me to chuckle. It wasn't an unusual occurrence; the guy knows my dog's name and is perfectly fine with this reaction, he even goes so far as to call him “Good Boy”, but it doesn't stop anything; he continues jogging and the event will probably in all likelihood repeat itself the next day. The memory just made me laugh. Like so many other things in life that are sometimes hard to remember in the moments that they would probably best serve to help carry us past our problems, but are by some perverse plan of fate or self-sabotage, left just out of reach. Although I don't usually find myself saying that I need the company of others (more than likely less intelligent individuals!) in my day-to-day living, I think I might go so far as to say that without their occasional appearances, life would be rather boring and insignificant... and that I might... maybe... want them there with me.
So I just want to take this moment to thank all of you, everywhere, for being bit-part-players in the movie of my life!
The Origin of Married Filing Jointly
by Paul Milewski
The origin of filing jointly goes back to the earliest revenue acts (income tax laws) in the United States and is the result (or the legislative remedy) of a problem created by two different rulings by the Supreme Court in 1930. At that time, there was no such thing as married filing jointly or married filing separately. You just filed your own return and paid your tax on your own income.
Lucas v. Earl, 281 U.S. 111 (1930), is a Supreme Court case about a man who reported (and paid tax on) only half of his income for the years 1920 and 1921. The taxpayer had a contract with his wife in which they agreed that half his income was hers. The Court held that income is taxed to the person who performed the services that earned the income and cannot be assigned to someone else. If Billy agrees to cut your grass but stipulates that you are pay the money to Tommy, it is still Billy’s income. This is often referred to as the assignment-of-income doctrine. The taxpayer lost this case. The law involved was the Revenue Act of 1921.
Poe v. Seaborn, 282 U.S. 101 (1930) is a less well known Supreme Court case in which the Court allowed the taxpayer to report (and pay tax on) only half his earnings on his 1927 tax return. This case involved the Revenue Act of 1926. The taxpayer won this case.
The important difference between the two taxpayers was that the first one (Earl) lived in a common law state (Washington) and the other one (Seaborn) lived in a community property state (California). As a result of these two cases, taxpayers in community property states were treated differently than taxpayers in common law states (also called common law property states). If we had a flat tax, I suppose nobody would care much, but with a system where the marginal tax rate increases as your income increases, it makes a difference. In a common law state, a married person’s income is his/her own. In a community property state, half your spouse’s income while the two of you are married to each other is your income. Community property states originally were those with ties to France or Spain (California or Louisiana are obvious examples) instead of to England. Spain and France were relatively progressive about married women’s rights. In English common law, you could beat your wife with a stick if the stick wasn’t thicker than your thumb (that’s the derivation of the expression “rule of thumb”).
After those two Supreme Court decisions, some common law states adopted community property laws just so their married citizens could enjoy the same tax benefit as the married citizens of community property states. The original law enabling all married taxpayers, no matter what state they lived in, to file one (joint) return and thereby combine both their incomes on one tax return also set tax rates on joint filers that were exactly one-half those on people not filing jointly and the rates on people married filing separately were the same as for single (unmarried) people. In this way, a taxpayer in a common law state could pay tax as if he/she could split (or assign) half of his/her income to his/her spouse. To attain this fairness or equal treatment, the rates imposed on married people filing separating have to be same as the rates imposed on single (unmarried) taxpayers and the rates imposed on married people filing jointly have to be exactly one-half the rates imposed on married taxpayers filing separately or single (unmarried) taxpayers.
If you examine the tax rates for 2009, you find that the “marginal rate“ on the first “income bracket” is 10% on taxable income from $0 to 8,350 for married filing separately or single (unmarried) taxpayers but 10% on taxable income from $0 to $16,700 for married taxpayers filing jointly. The second bracket is 15% on income from $8,351 to $33.950 for married filing separate or single taxpayers but 15% on income from $16,701 to $67,900 for married filing jointly. As you’ll notice, $8,350 is exactly half of $16,700 and $33,950 is exactly half of $67,900 so married filing separate rates are one-half the rates of married filing jointly and married filing separate are the same as single (unmarried) taxpayer rates in the lower brackets. However, once you hit the 25% tax bracket, you find a discrepancy: for married filing separately the 25% bracket is $34,001 to $68,650 but for single (unmarried) taxpayers it is $34,001 to $82,400.
As recently as the year 2001, all the brackets were different for married filing separately than for single (unmarried) taxpayers. For 2001, the first (15%) bracket for married filing separately was income from $0 to $22,600 but for single taxpayers it was $0 to $27,050. The situation got proportionally worse for single taxpayers the higher the bracket.
1976 was the last year in which the brackets for (and therefore the tax rate imposed on the income of) married filing separately and single (unmarried) taxpayers. This discrepancy in rates on married taxpayers filing separately and on single (unmarried) taxpayers was introduced by the “Tax Reduction and Simplification Act of 1977” (there’s a contradiction in terms if there ever was one). To the extent such a discrepancy still exists, US citizens of community property states are taxed differently than US citizens of common law property states. The discrepancy has been reduced but not eliminated since then, at least for taxpayers in the higher income brackets, and they are the ones who pay most of the tax in this country.
Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Zachary Jarvie, needs six more to fill.
Gunboat Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: Two, need five more to fill. Sign up now!
Diplomacy Bourse (Black Press): Buy and sell the currencies of the Diplomacy nations. This Bourse is using the new game “Dulcinea” as its basis. Players may join at any time, and are then given 1000 units of every currency still in circulation. The rules to Bourse can be found in ES #24.
Youngstown IVa (Black Press): A classic, and quite popular, version of the variant. Email me for rules and maps, or you can find them at: http://www.variantbank.org/results/rules/y/youngstown.htm. Signed up: Phil Murphy, need nine more to fill. Sign up now!
Final Conflict III (Black Press): Tom Swider’s global nuclear variant. Rules and map elsewhere in this issue. Signed up: None, need seven more to fill. Sign up now! If nobody signs up this month I will drop the opening.
By Popular Demand: Game currently underway, join any time.
Adult’s Only By Popular Demand: Game in Jack’s sub-subzine “Brain Farts.” Game underway, join any time.
Eternal Sunshine Movie Quote Quiz: 10 rounds, join any time. You can find it at the end of the zine.
Standby List: HELP! I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Jeremie Lefrancois (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.
I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill. When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it. If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch. If you have specific game requests please let me know.
Diplomacy “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” 2008A, W 10/S 11
Austria (Kevin Wilson - ckevinw “of” comcast.net): Remove F Tyrrhenian Sea.. A Galicia – Bohemia,
F Ionian Sea – Greece, A Trieste – Serbia, A Ukraine Supports A Warsaw – Moscow,
Vienna Supports A Galicia – Bohemia,
A Warsaw - Moscow (*Dislodged*, ret
Galicia or OTB).
England (Jérémie LeFrançois - jeremie.lefrancois “of”gmail.com): Retreat A Burgundy - Munich.. Build
A Edinburgh, Build F London.. F Baltic Sea U, A Berlin - Munich (*Bounce*), A Edinburgh – Norway,
F Holland – Belgium, F Irish Sea Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Livonia Supports A Moscow – Warsaw,
F London - English Channel, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F Spain(sc) (*Cut*), A Moscow – Warsaw,
A Munich – Ruhr, F Norwegian Sea Convoys A Edinburgh – Norway, F Portugal Supports F Spain(sc),
A Prussia Supports A Moscow – Warsaw, A Silesia Supports A Moscow – Warsaw,
Spain(sc) Hold (*Disbanded*).
France (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” hotmail.com): A Burgundy and A Paris, no move received.
Italy (Don Williams – dwilliam “of” fontana.org): Remove F Tunis..
F Gulf of Lyon Supports F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc),
A Marseilles Supports F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc), F North Africa - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*),
A Tyrolia - Munich (*Bounce*), F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc).
Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): Build A Constantinople..
F Aegean Sea Convoys A Bulgaria – Smyrna, F Black Sea Supports A Rumania, A Bulgaria – Smyrna,
A Constantinople Supports A Bulgaria – Smyrna, A Rumania Supports A Sevastopol,
A Sevastopol Supports A Warsaw - Moscow.
Now Proposed – England/Germany Draw
Summer/Fall 1911 Deadline is June 29th at 7:00am my time
I will try to contact William before calling a standby.
England – Germany: Sorry to my German friend, but as I am attacked from everywhere I need that centre.
Con: Whistle, whistle, whistle ...
Con-Vie: Thanks for the note, As you can see all is well.
Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, F 07
Austria (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” hotmail.com): F Adriatic Sea Supports A Venice,
A Bohemia Supports A Tyrolia – Munich, A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Bounce*),
A Silesia Supports A Tyrolia – Munich, A Tyrolia – Munich, A Venice Hold, A Vienna Hold.
England (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” gmail.com): A Brest Supports A Gascony,
F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), A Gascony Supports F Spain(sc) – Marseilles,
F Irish Sea - North Atlantic Ocean, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Spain(sc) (*Fails*),
F North Atlantic Ocean - Norwegian Sea, F North Africa Supports F Western Mediterranean,
A St Petersburg Supports A Moscow (*Ordered to Move*).
France (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 ”of” yahoo.com): F Portugal Supports F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc)
Germany (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” hotmail.com): No Moves Received! A Berlin, A Burgundy,
A Munich (*Dislodged*, retreat to Kiel or OTB), F Prussia, A Ruhr.
Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): F Spain(sc) - Marseilles (*Bounce*),
F Western Mediterranean Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Spain(sc) (*Fails*).
Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): F Aegean Sea U, F Black Sea Hold, F Greece Hold,
F Gulf of Lyon Supports A Piedmont – Marseilles, F Ionian Sea Supports F Tunis, A Moscow – Livonia,
A Sevastopol – Moscow, F Tunis Supports F Western Mediterranean - North Africa (*Void*), A Tuscany Hold,
F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports F Gulf of Lyon.
E/T Draw Fails
Winter 07/Spring 08 Deadline is June 29th at 7:00am my time
I will attempt to contact William before I call a standby. He is serving overseas.
Supply Center Chart
Austria: Budapest, Munich, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Venice, Vienna, Warsaw=8, Build 1
England: Brest, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, Paris, St Petersburg, Sweden=8, Even
France: Portugal=1, Even
Germany: Belgium, Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel=5, Even or Remove 1
Italy: Marseilles, Spain=2, Even
Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Naples, Rome, Sevastopol,
Smyrna, Tunis=10, Even
Prime Minister to Boob: Huh. Someone's under a misapprehension. Draw? With Turkey!
Prime Minister to the Sultan: Hey, that's MY mooring spot. I ought to charge ya rent for that anchorage!
“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse
Billy Ray Valentine: On the train to New York City.
Duke of York: About to have his city sacked by the Scots.
Smaug the Dragon: Sells 450 Crowns. Buys 500 Marks.
Rothschild: Sells 500 Francs. Buys 149 Pounds.
Baron Wuffet: Crosses his arms and looks smug.
Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 Francs, 500 Marks, 204 Lire. Buys 193 Crowns, 191 Pounds, 134 Piastres.
VAIONT Enterprises: No activity.
Insider Trading LLC: No activity.
Bourse Master: Decides to play a wait-and-see approach.
Next Bourse Deadline is June 29th at 7:00pm my time
Rothschild to Duke: If you
buy Pounds, I am going to buy Pounds as well. I am no fool!
Rothschild to "The Magnificent": Vive le
Smaug the Magnificent to All: I have to admit, I made a huge blunder buying all those roubles... *sigh* Oh well, live and learn.
Austria (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” hotmail.com): No Moves Received! F Albania, A Bulgaria,
A Galicia, F Greece, A Rumania, A Serbia, A Trieste.
England (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): Remove A Livonia, A Moscow..
F Barents Sea - Norwegian Sea (*Bounce*), A Norway - Sweden (*Fails*), F Wales - Liverpool.
France (Paraic Reddington - Paraic.Reddington “of” vix-erg.com): Build F Marseilles, F Brest, A Paris..
F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Burgundy – Marseilles, F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea (*Bounce*),
F English Channel Convoys A Picardy – Wales, F Ionian Sea - Adriatic Sea, F Marseilles - Gulf of Lyon,
A Paris – Burgundy, A Picardy – Wales, A Rome – Apulia, A Spain Supports A Burgundy – Marseilles,
F Tunis - Tyrrhenian Sea.
Germany (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” gmail.com): Retreat A Trieste - Venice.. Build A Berlin, A Kiel..
A Berlin – Silesia, F Gulf of Bothnia – Livonia, A Kiel – Munich, F London - North Sea, A Munich – Tyrolia,
A Prussia Supports A Warsaw, F Sweden Hold, A Venice Supports A Munich – Tyrolia,
A Warsaw Supports A Berlin - Silesia.
Turkey (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” rogers.com):
F Aegean Sea Supports F Eastern Mediterranean - Ionian Sea, F Constantinople Supports F Aegean Sea,
F Eastern Mediterranean - Ionian Sea, A Sevastopol Supports A Moscow (*Void*).
Fall 05 deadline is June 29th at 7:00am my time
I will try to contact William before calling a standby. He is serving overseas.
Prime Minister to Kaiser Wilhelm II: My dossier on you includes that you were born in Berlin to the future Frederick III and his wife, Victoria. You are Her Majesty Queen Victoria's first grandchild. As the son of the Crown Prince of Prussia, you were (from 1861) the second in the line to the throne of Prussia, and also, after 1871, to the German Empire, which, according to its constititution, is ruled by the Prussian King. You are the first cousin of George V of England. A traumatic breech birth left you with a withered left arm due to Erb's palsy which you try with some success to conceal. In many photos you carry a pair of white gloves in your left hand to make the arm seem longer, or have your crippled arm on the hilt of a sword or holding a cane to give the effect of a useful limb being posed at a dignified angle.
F to AT - Finally you
two have reconciled. There's love in the air again and it's a beautiful thing.
F to I - Thanks for the game Ian. You were a real pain in the ass - which is about as good a compliment as you can get!
Kaiser Wilhelm to General Hellmutt von Klingerhoffen: Take zer first army and go get me zem gondolas for my palace lake! Sneak in while all zer men are off fighting zer French and take them all from under zer noses!!!
F to G - You're a crazy mad eejit! I actually think you're trying to spell out 'arse' with your units.
F to E - Paul what a position to assume. Now play nice and die. Don't make me come up there!!
F to F - Did I leave the oven on?
White Press Diplomacy “Creepshow” 2009D, F 03
Austria (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): Retreat A Budapest - Trieste..
F Albania Supports A Trieste, A Trieste Supports A Vienna - Budapest (*Cut*), A Vienna - Budapest (*Fails*).
England (Chuy Cronin – chuykdc_92 “of” hotmail.com): A London Hold, F North Sea Hold, F Norway Hold,
F Norwegian Sea Supports F Norway.
France (Michael Cronin – mfmcronin “of” q.com): F Belgium Supports F North Sea, A Burgundy Hold,
A Gascony Supports A Burgundy, A Picardy Supports F Belgium, A Piedmont - Tyrolia.
Germany (Pat Vogelsang – godawgsgo33 “of” yahoo.com): A Denmark – Kiel,
F Helgoland Bight - North Sea (*Fails*), F Holland Supports F Helgoland Bight - North Sea,
A Munich - Burgundy (*Fails*), A Ruhr Supports F Holland.
Italy (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” rogers.com): Retreat F Ionian Sea - Tunis.. A Galicia – Ukraine,
F Greece - Ionian Sea, F Naples - Tyrrhenian Sea (*Bounce*), F Tunis - Tyrrhenian Sea (*Bounce*),
A Tyrolia - Venice.
Russia (Kevin Wilson - ckevinw “of” comcast.net): A Budapest Supports A Serbia - Trieste (*Cut*),
A Rumania Supports A Budapest, F Sevastopol Supports A Rumania, A Silesia – Warsaw,
F St Petersburg(nc) - Norway (*Fails*), F Sweden Supports F St Petersburg(nc) - Norway.
Turkey (Larry Cronin – lcroninmd “of” msn.com): F Aegean Sea Supports A Bulgaria – Greece,
Bulgaria – Greece, F Ionian Sea - Adriatic Sea, A Serbia - Trieste
(*Fails*), F Smyrna - Eastern Mediterranean.
Winter 1903/Spring 1904 Deadline is June 29th at 7:00am my time
Supply Center Chart
Austria: Trieste, Vienna=2, Remove 1
England: Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway=4, Even
France: Belgium, Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=6, Build 1
Germany: Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich=5, Even
Italy: Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice=4, Remove 1
Russia: Budapest, Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Warsaw=7, Build 1
Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Serbia, Smyrna=6, Build 1
None. You all suck.
Diplomacy “Bellicus” from Strange Meeting, Spring 1909
(Smiley McKinnon – Boltar35 “of” aol.com):
A London Hold (*Dislodged*,
France (Pat Vogelsang – godawgsgo33 “of” yahoo.com): A Brest Supports A Picardy,
A Edinburgh – Liverpool, F Norwegian Sea - Barents Sea, A Paris Supports A Picardy, A Picardy Supports A Brest,
F Spain(sc) Supports F North Africa - Mid-Atlantic Ocean.
Russia (Chris Babcock – cbabcock “of” asciiking.com): F Belgium Convoys A Paris – Constantinople
(*Fails*), A Bohemia – Tyrolia, A Burgundy - Marseilles (*Fails*),
F English Channel Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Galicia Supports A Vienna,
Ocean Supports F Spain(sc) (*Dislodged*, NRR, Removed), A Moscow Supports A
A Munich Supports A Bohemia – Tyrolia, F North Sea Supports A Yorkshire – London,
A Ukraine Supports A Galicia, A Vienna Supports A Galicia, A Yorkshire - London.
Turkey (Phil Amos – p.v.a “of” btinternet.com): A Ankara Hold, A Armenia Supports A Sevastopol,
F Black Sea Hold, A Budapest Supports A Rumania, F Bulgaria(ec) Supports A Rumania,
F Gulf of Lyon Supports F Western Mediterranean, F Marseilles Supports F Piedmont (*Cut*),
F North Africa - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Piedmont Supports F Marseilles, A Rumania Supports A Budapest,
A Serbia Supports A Budapest, A Sevastopol Supports A Rumania, F Trieste Hold, A Venice - Tyrolia (*Fails*),
F Western Mediterranean Supports F North Africa - Mid-Atlantic Ocean.
Now Proposed – F/R/T Draw. Please vote with next orders.
Fall/Winter 1909 Deadline is June 29th at 7:00am my time
None. You guys suck!
Deviant Dip II – “Black Licorice” – 2009Brc08 – Spring 1905
Spring Turn Held Over to Next Issue
Drance (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com with Don Williams ordering units): Has
F StP(nc)[Rogue], A Ukr, F Cyp(1).
England (Russell Blau – russblau “of” imapmail.org): Has F Ice, F Ech, A Lon, F Bla, A Smy(1), F Con(1), A Bul, F Cre.
Verminy (Hugh Polley - hapolley “of” yahoo.ca): Has F NAt, F NAf, A Lvn, A Bel.
Italy (John David Galt – jdg “of” diogenes.sacramento.ca.us): Has F Nwy, A Den, F Kie, F Bal.
Austria (Jack Mchugh - jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): Has A Rum(2).
Nussia (Mark D Lew – markdlew “of” earthlink.net): Has A Pie, A Tyr, A Bud, A Ber, A Pru, A Par, A Mar,
F Lyo, F Iri, F Wes, A Mun, A Gal, A Ser, F Alb, A Ank.
Turkey (Jason Bergmann – jasonbergmann “of” gmail.com): Has Marlow’s Steamship Upp, A Rom,
A Apu(1), F Bre, A Lvp, F Tun(1), F Ion, F Tyn(1).
RP’s (Rule #21): Jack McHugh - 0; Russell Blau - 0; Jim Burgess - 0; Hugh Polley - 0; John David Galt - 14; Mark D Lew - 10; Jason Bergmann – 12.5.
Official Standby Players, as needed (both currently in the game): Jack McHugh (jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com), Hugh Polley (hapolley “of” yahoo.ca).
Spring 1905 Deadline is June 26th at 7:00pm my time
Note the deadline for this game is now SATURDAY NIGHT.
Build Centers (When Owned) Are As Follows:
Drance Ankara, Belgium, Crete
England Smyrna, Iceland, Trieste
Verminy Vienna, London, Liverpool
Italy Serbia, Edinburgh, Denmark
Austria Venice, Holland, Armenia
Nussia Tyrolia, Piedmont, Livonia, Budapest
Turkey Corsica, Prussia, Tunis, Sardinia
New Rule Proposals:
Rule #82 - Rogue Units Go Transsexual (Proposed by Jim Burgess): All units going rogue, if not removed from the board, change their sex from Fleet to Army or vice versa as well as holding. Armies in the water drown.
Rule #83 - Re-Expansion of the River (Proposed by Jim Burgess): The Lower River is reinstated to its previous location and connections. The horror, the horror.....
Rule #84 - Time Warp
(Proposed by Russell Blau): After Winter 1905, the next season is Spring 1902.
The map, including all unit positions and supply center ownership, reverts to
where it was in Spring 1902. Rules adopted since Spring 1902 remain in
force, except that rules that changed the map are no longer effective.
Rule #85 - Everyone Knows Spring Training Doesn't Count (Proposed by Russell Blau): Rule #71 is repealed, and all RP adjustments made because of that rule are reversed.
Rule #86 - Great Power Listing Repair! (Proposed by
Hugh Polley): Starting in Spring 1905 Verminy
will be Renamed ENGLAND, England will be renamed
VINELAND. The Great Powers will be
listed by SC Suppy Centers, most owned by, To least owned by. This winter MOS
will be recorded as ONE OF THE VERMINY PLAYER’S HOME SC.
Rule #87 - I Hate RP fix (Proposed by Hugh Polley): All rules pertaining to Rule Points are no longer in force. Any rule with the words Rule Point, or Rule Points, or initials RP, or RPs in the Rules text are no longer in force. By Fall 05 all rules no longer in force will not be listed in ES.
Rule #88 - "Escape!" (Proposed by John
David Galt): In any Winter turn, any player who has a unit in a space not adjacent to any
other space passable to that unit (regardless of why) may teleport that unit to
one of his build centers that is unoccupied – even if he does not currently own
that build center. This move does not change the ownership of the center
(at least in that same Winter turn), but does prevent anyone else from building
there that turn, unless "Make Room!" also passes.
Rule #89 - "Vogon Rescue" (Proposed by John David Galt): When a space ceases to exist for any reason, any unit located there is not destroyed. Instead it is rescued by Vogons, and is dropped off at the end of that turn, in a space randomly selected from all spaces on the board which are empty and passable to that unit.
Rule #90 - "Make Room!" (Proposed by John David Galt): In any Winter season, a player entitled to build is never prevented from building for lack of an unoccupied build center. (This rule does not otherwise increase the total number of units any player may build.)
If he owns at least one of his
build centers, he may build any number of units there, regardless of whether
the center is already occupied. If he does not own any of his build
centers, he may build any number of units in
If a space contains multiple
units as a result of this rule, it is not any stronger against attack than if
it contained only one unit, and none of the units may give support unless and
until it is once again alone in a space.
If a space contains units of
more than one player because this ability and/or the "Escape!" rule
has been used, there is no immediate effect on the ownership of the
space. But if two or more players still have units there at the end of
the *next* Fall turn, the space becomes unowned.
This rule does not make
Switzerland passable except that units may be built there and then move
out. Fleets built in Switzerland may move to any adjacent coastal land
space (rivers are assumed to exist for this purpose
only). Switzerland is not a supply center and no one can own it.
Switzerland is immune to "Disappearing Spaces".
Rule #91 – Schadenfreude (Proposed by Mark D Lew): For any unit in a space that is not adjacent to any
other space, the GM must include on the map a little balloon with the words
"The horror, the horror!" as if that unit is saying it.
Rule #92 - I, Glue (Proposed by Mark D Lew): If Russ Blau is playing a country that begins with the letter E he immediately disbands three fleets (chosen at random), but if he is playing a country that begins with the letter N he immediately gains 5 rule points.
Rule #93 - Stop Voting for Your Own Rules, You Boob (Proposed by Mark D Lew): When a player casts YES votes for a rule he himself proposed, the number of those votes which count is limited to the number of players who voted (yes or no) on that rule. [Example 1: If I vote 10 YES votes on a rule I proposed, one other player votes yes on that rule, and two other players vote no on that rule, then only 4 of my 10 YES votes count. Example 2: If I vote 10 YES votes on a rule I proposed, and nobody else votes on it at all, then only 1 of my 10 YES votes counts.]
Rule #94 - We don't need no stinkin' maps (Proposed by Jack McHugh): All rules about the maps are repealed. The map is returned to normal. All units are placed on the map by the GM. Unit total for each should match, as closely possible, their current on map center count as decided by the GM.
Rule #95 - Rules made simple (Proposed by Jack McHugh): Any rule that can't be explained in one line (using standard ES type face and page size) is either repealed or replaced by a new rule written by the GM using only one line. All future rules must be one line or less--GM will either toss out or edit all rules longer than one line.
Rule #96 - Apocalypse Now Proposed by Jason Bergmann): (1) The game year is advanced to 1969, and we all love the smell of napalm in the morning. The variant map for South East Asia 3 [http://www.variantbank.org/results/rules/s/seasia3.htm] is now in play. All supply centers on that map are unowned. Upper River ceases to exist. Marlow's Steamship is renamed Patrol Boat Riverine and is transported to Cambodia immediately.
(2) The following additional spaces are created with the listed ajacencies: India (a land space) is adjacent to Burma and Syria; the Western Indian Ocean (a sea space) is adjacent to the Eastern Med and the North Indian Ocean; the Trans-Siberian railway (a land space) is adjacent to Moscow, St Petersburg, and Sichuan; the Caribbean (a sea space) is adjacent to the Mid Atlantic Ocean and the Panama Canal, and the Panama Canal (a land space) is adjacent to the Caribbean and the Pacific Ocean.
(3) In the first winter after passage of this rule, each of the three players with the fewest supply centers will receive control of one the following centers, randomly chosen, (which will be home centers and which may be built in immediately): Cairns, Jakarta, and Cabu.
(4) In the first winter after passage of this rule, all other players may relinquish control of one controlled supply center on the regular map in exchange for control of one of the following centers, randomly chosen (which will be home centers and which may be built in immediately): Guangzhou, Kuala Lumpur, Bangkok, and Danang.
(5) In the first winter after passage of this rule, the GM receives control of Port Hedland as a home supply center, which he must build in immediately. The GM may issue unit orders and cast votes as if he were a starting player. The GM may not propose rules. The GM' must prepare his unit orders and votes before he receives orders from any other player. The GM may negotiate with other players, but all such negotiations must be copied to all players, including Don Williams.
(6) The weather is too warm on the South East Asia map for any unit there to throw a snowball. Any unit in the Trans-Siberian railway during Winter suffers ten snowball hits. Disappearing spaces cannot affect the South East Asia map or any of the additional spaces created by this rule until at least ten spaces have disappeared from the original map.
Rule #97 - Steam power (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): Marlow's Steamship may move two spaces per turn, rather than one. (Double moves adjudicated in same way as double moves by cavalry units in the Downfall variant.) One time only, in lieu of a move, Marlow's Steamship may be recalled from anywhere on the Board to one of the owning player's home centers. The unit retains the same powers even if it is Renamed.
Passed Rule Proposals:
Rule #1 - More Deviant Rule (Proposed by Jason Bergmann). Paragraphs (5), (7), and (8) of the Deviant Diplomacy II variant rules are repealed and replaced with the following:
(1) Every Winter and Spring season, each starting player who controlled at least one supply center at the end of the previous Fall season may propose up to two rule changes. Such players may choose to submit fewer than two rule proposals without consequence.
(2) Every Winter and Spring season, each starting player who controlled no supply centers at the end of the previous Fall season may propose up to one rule change. Such players may choose to submit no rule proposals without consequence.
(3) Every Spring and Fall season, each starting player has a number of votes equal to one plus the number of supply centers the starting player controlled at the end of the previous Fall season.
(4) Players may vote yes or no. Players may cast all of their votes for or against any one rule proposal, or players can split yes and no votes among multiple rule proposals. Players' votes are published.
(5) A no vote on any rule proposal cancels a yes vote. The rule proposal receiving the most net yes votes goes into effect beginning the next season. If more than one rule proposal tie for the most net yes votes, then all tied rules go into effect beginning the next season. The rule proposal (or proposals) will go into effect even if the net yes votes are zero or negative.
(6) In addition to any rule proposals that go into effect under paragraph (5), additional rule proposals may also go into effect beginning the next season, if such proposals receive one or more net yes votes and if such proposals do not receive no votes from at least two different players.
(7) If two or more rule proposals would go into effect on the same turn but conflict explicitly or implicitly with each other, then both rules are null and void.
(8) The phrase "starting player" refers to the seven players who started this game, plus any standby player who succeeds the position of a starting player in this game. The word "player" includes all starting players and all other persons who enter the game as a result of the passage of additional rules.
(9) This rule may be amended or repealed only by any rule proposal going into effect under paragraph (5). Any rule proposal going into effect under paragraph (6) that amends or repeals this rule, or which conflicts explicitly or implicitly with the terms of this rule, will have no effect.
Rule #8 - "Barbarian Hordes, or the Excess
Profits Tax." (Proposed by John David Galt). When any
power captures three or more supply centers (which he did not already own) in a
single fall season, neutral armies known as "Barbarian Hordes" are
immediately built in half of those centers (rounded down), selected at random
by the GM. This happens before the owner can build.
Once at least one Barbarian Horde exists on the board, player(s) may spend any or all of their rule votes to attempt to give an order to a Barbarian Horde. Each Horde follows the order to it that gets the most votes. If a Horde receives no orders, it is in disorder and holds.
If two or more orders to a Horde get the same number of votes, the tied orders are cancelled and Horde obeys the non-tied order with the most votes, even if that is a smaller number of votes than the tied orders got.
Barbarian Hordes are amphibious -- they can move to any land space as if they were armies, and to any water space as if they were fleets. They cannot convoy or be convoyed. They can support and be supported. They cannot retreat, and are destroyed if dislodged -- but that is the only way to destroy them, because they do not need supply.
If a Barbarian Horde occupies a supply center after a Fall turn, that center becomes unowned. However, a newly built Barbarian Horde does not affect the ownership of its starting location in the Fall turn in which it is built.
When a Barbarian Horde is built, the unit which captured that space is destroyed (thus allowing the owner to rebuild it normally in the Winter turn immediately afterward, if he holds enough centers). [[By rule #45 this rule is no longer in effect.]]
Rule #13 – “The Duck Escapes Rule” (Proposed by Don Williams): Due to inept leadership, poor press writing, and insufficient cerebral bandwidth the French Republic under Don “Le Duc” Guillaume is swept away in a monstrously effective coup d’etat. A new government and extremely popular government – to be headed by the extraordinarily handsome, exceptionally erudite, and press-prolific James “Le Burgess du L’Isle du Rhodes” Burgess – is immediately installed. Tragically, as “Le Duc” is dragged straightforward to the guillotine for his just come-uppance, he is permanently unavailable to be re-called into this travesty of a dip game.
Rule #14 - Duck Williams Heart of Darkness Rule (Proposed by Jim Burgess): While Don Williams may be "out of the game" one can never be OUT of this game. Two new Provinces in Africa are created by this rule, accessed from Belgium (for obvious reasons) and London. Belgium now also is attached to the Upper River province, which in turn is attached to the Lower River Province, which in turn is attached to London. Only Fleets may enter this "river pathway" between London and Belgium, convoys may be made through it if two fleets are in it. The first fleet entering this pathway is forever afterward dubbed "Marlow's Steamship" (again for obvious reasons) and that player shall then document to the GM (via CC or other means) E-Mails, phone calls, text messages, Facebook/Twitter postings etc. to Don Williams where they say "The horror, the horror!" Besides driving Don nuts, Marlow's Steamship shall never be able to be dislodged or removed in the game (regardless of whether it has a supporting supply center) as long as the GM (in his infinite wisdom of how to bug people) views that the owner of Marlow's Steamship has sufficiently bugged Don that month. [[For the basis of this rule “fleet” now refers to both “fleet” and “marine unit.”]]
Rule #15 - Habsburg Relocation Act (Proposed by Mark
D. Lew): Besieged by enemies on all
sides, the Habsburg emperor pleads to Heaven for delivierance! Heaven answers,
and the core of the empire is removed from Europe and transplanted to a
paradise island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
The four spaces of Vie, Bud, Tri, and Ser are transplanted: They are no longer adjacent to Boh, Gal, Rum, Bul, Gre, Alb, Adr, Ven, or Tyo. They are each adjacent to Mid (and thus have a coast now). They retain their normal adjacency with respect to each other. Any units currently occupying those spaces are transplanted with them. The area where those spaces used to be is now a large impassable void. [[By rule #45, this rule is no longer in effect.]]
Rule #16 - Drench the Vermin! (Proposed by Mark D. Lew): France, Russia and Germany are renamed Drance, Nussia, and Verminy. Whenever reporting game results, GM must list countries in the following order: Drance, England, Verminy, Italy, Austria, Nussia, Turkey.
Rule #17 - "Teleport Gates" (Proposed by
John David Galt): The North Atlantic becomes
adjacent to the Eastern Med. The Gulf of
Bothnia becomes adjacent to the Western Med.
Galicia becomes adjacent to Burgundy.
[[By rule #45, this rule is no longer in effect.]]
Rule #19 – “Marines” (Proposed by John Walker): All units are made into units called Marines. Marines can move on Land, Water or by Air. Marines have no movement restrictions if by air. Air Movement takes 2 turns to complete, either a spring-fall or a fall-spring. [[By this rule, there are no longer convoys. Coasts are no longer necessary to specify, as the Marine units may move by land and sea. Movements by air must be specified as “by air” or “via air.” Destinations of air movements will not be revealed to the rest of the board until the 2nd turn, although the player MUST specify the destination with the original order; if you order Moscow – Paris via air, the first adjudication will merely state Moscow – Moscow Air. The next adjudication will report Moscow Air – Paris. If the landing fails due to a bounce or other interference, the unit returns to the original location the following movement season. However, if unable to land at the location of origin because of a bounce or because it is occupied, the Marine which had attempted the air movement is destroyed, crashing due to lack of fuel. Once a unit is in the air, the space it used to occupy can be immediately occupied. In the above example, Moscow would be considered unoccupied immediately, so an uncontested move of Ukraine – Moscow would succeed even if ordered in the same season as Moscow – Moscow Air.]][[By rule #45, this rule is no longer in force.]]
Rule #21 - "It's All About the Rules" Rule (Proposed by Russell Blau): Beginning with the season this rule goes into effect, each player (as defined in the More Deviant Rule) receives one Rule Point (RP) for each rule proposed by that player that goes into effect. For every season in which voting takes place, each player receives one vote for each RP they hold, in addition to all votes provided for in other rules. Clause (9) of the Deviant Diplomacy II rules is repealed. The Victory Condition for this game is to control a majority of the awarded RPs, provided that no player can win the game until the total number of RPs awarded is greater than one-half the number of supply centers in existence.
Rule #22 - "Continent-Wide Web version 2.0" (Proposed by Russell Blau): Every passable space on the map is adjacent to the spaces immediately before and after it in alphabetical order. The list wraps around, so Yorkshire is adjacent to Adriatic Sea, and vice versa. All new coastlines created by this rule are considered to be contiguous to existing coastlines -- so, for example, a fleet that enters Yorkshire from the Adriatic can exist to the North Sea, and vice versa -- and new land boundaries created by this rule do not interrupt any existing coastlines. Each space's name is alphabetized based on how it is printed on the official map on the copy of The Game used by the GM. In addition, at the end of the Fall 1902 season, the GM will randomly select one land space for each power, from among all land spaces within that power's 1901 boundaries that is (a) not a supply center and (b) not occupied by any unit, which will immediately become a buildable home supply center for that power. [[In effect, the new adjacencies are “worm hole” passages, because they do not change any other aspects of the board. St. Petersburg is considered to be spelled out as Saint. I haven’t found any, but if someone discovers before next turn that this rule contradicts Rule #15 by making Vie, Tri, Ser, or Bud adjacent again to any of their original neighbors, then both rules are null and void by Rule #1 clause 7. As I mentioned, I haven’t found that to be the case, but I could be wrong. If no such contradiction is pointed out to me by the next deadline, both rules stand regardless.]] [[By rule #45, the adjacency aspects of this rule are no longer in effect. Also, by Scrambled Eggs, the extra centers are not necessarily build centers.]]
Rule #23 – “Island grabbing” (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): Effective immediately: Iceland is a German Home Center containing a German Fleet; Ireland is an English Home Center containing an English fleet; Corsica is an Austrian Home Center containing an Austrian Fleet; Sardinia is a French Home Center containing a French Fleet; Sicily is an Italian Home Center containing an Italian army; Crete is a Turkish Home Center Containing a Turkish Fleet; Cyprus is a Russian Home Center containing a Russian fleet. All such spaces are now passable. The Eternal Sunshine map shall be used to determine what other spaces to which they are adjacent. In addition, Sicily and Naples are adjacent to each other, and Corsica and Sardinia are adjacent to each other. [[By Scrambled Eggs, these are not necessarily build centers.]]
Rule #25 - The Boob Says Nay and Ducks (Proposed by Jim Burgess): Jim-Bob has NO interest in actually playing this game, so he gives control of all the units back to Don "The Duck" Williams. So as to meet the criteria of the previously passed "unlucky" Rule 13, Don is NOT actually re-called into the game. He just has to control all the units. The Boob will retain all the voting and rule-proposing rights that are the only reason anyone would actually want to play this insane game and define who the actual players are. If this rule passes, the Boob (aka Jim-Bob) can never push a piece, order a unit, or any other order writing construct that anyone cares to propose for any power for the rest of the game. [[Don Williams will now be called on to submit movement orders for French units.]]
Rule #28 - Invisibility Spells (Proposed by John David Galt): Each Spring or Fall turn, each player may spend one of his rule votes to cause one of his units to become invisible. The unit will act normally in all respects, but its location, and any orders to it, will be known only to its owner and the GM. Invisibility takes effect immediately -- before the adjudication of orders on the same turn in which it is cast -- and only ends if the unit, at the end of any turn, is in a supply center which did not belong to the unit's owner at the beginning of that turn. (On that turn its location is revealed but the order, if any, it received that turn is not.) Neighboring units affected by the invisible unit will know whether their orders succeeded or not, but will not be told why. [[This rule is no longer in force, except for one remaining invisible unit.]]
Rule #31 - Take over the Dulcinea (Proposed by Jim Burgess): As soon as this is passed (i.e. in the same issue), a "Dulcinae II" board is created with all the players and unit positions of the Dulcinae game. All of the Dulcinae players control their units on the Dulcinae II board as well as the original board, but initially (until modified by future rules in this game) cannot issue orders any differently from in Dulcinae I, their submitted orders are also executed on Dulcinae II. Every Fall turn, each player on the Black Licorice board randomly will have one of its units cloned onto the Dulcinae II board in the same location and it annihilates any existing Dulcinae II unit in that space. If the randomly chosen unit is in a "new space", the entire rule creating that space will also be transferred to the Dulcinae II board -- otherwise all rules on the Dulcinae board are as in Standard Diplomacy (at least for now). These units have one free game year, the unit does not have to be in a supply center to stay on the Dulcinae II board, but after that must support themselves by taking centers on the Dulcinae II board, centers are counted separately on each board. [[This rule doesn’t actually take effect until ES #34, but since this rule does not do anything to the “Dulcinae II” game until the Fall turn (which I have decided to rule refers to the Fall turn in Black Licorice since Jim was not specific) it makes no difference whether it starts right now or not.]] [[By Rule #45, this rule is no longer in effect.]]
Rule #32 - Take over Eternal Sunshine (Proposed by Jim Burgess): Rules proposed in Black Licorice can have real effects on other games in Eternal Sunshine. If this rule passes and subsequent Black Licorice rules pass that affect other games, the GM/Publisher shall poll players in those games as to whether the Deviant rule shall take effect. Any veto by any player in the "real" Eternal Sunshine game invalidates the Black Licorice rule for that game (rules proposed to affect multiple ES games can thus actually only affect a subset of those games). These rules can be re-proposed, but can cause the GM to poll players in any given Eternal Sunshine game no more than once per Eternal Sunshine issue. [[By Rule #45, this rule is no longer in effect.]]
Rule #34 - Snowball
fighting! (Proposed by Mark D. Lew): During each winter season, each
unit on the board may throw a snowball at any other unit on the board. When
ordering throws, the player should specify a path of adjacent spaces, starting
with the space occupied by the thrower and ending with the space of the target.
(For snowball purposes, use adjacencies per the original map, ignoring any
changes in game geography due to deviant rules. A snowball's path may include
an impassable space such as Switzerland.) The
path must be reasonably straight, as if drawing a straight line from somewhere
in the one space to somewhere in the other, but will be judged generously if it
seems close enough. If a path is clearly not straight, GM may either designate
a new path with the same start and end space or else disqualify the throw as
Each snowball throw has a 1/N chance of hitting its target, where N is the length of the path including start and end spaces. It also has 1/N chance of hitting any unit in an intervening space along the path. Snowball throws are ordered with winter builds, but they are resolved after builds. Newly built units may neither throw nor be targeted, but they might be hit if they end up in an intervening path along a throw. Units about to be disbanded may throw or be targeted before they go, but they won't be around to get hit.
For each successful throw of length N=3 or more, the throwing player scores N style points. No style points are scored for hitting a unit other than the target, and no style points are scored for a throw of N=2. A player who scores eight or more style points in a turn gets one additional vote on rule proposals the following season. (Style points are not cumulative, and any number less than eight garners no voting benefit.)
Snowball hits taken by a unit are cumulative and tracked from year to year. During the winter season, any unit may, instead of throwing a snowball, be ordered to go inside and dry off. It takes no hits that winter and its cumulative total of hits is restored to zero. For each unit ordered to go inside and dry off, a player gets -5 style points that winter.
Any unit which suffers 20 snowball hits is considered pummeled and is treated as if in civil disorder for the rest of the game. It may not move or support during spring and fall turns. It also may not throw snowballs nor go inside during winter. [[As the rule does not specify, a player MAY hit his own units with a snowball. Also, once a snowball hits a unit, it stops its trajectory; so you can only hit one unit with each throw, and if you hit one along the path it never reaches the destination. And to be clear, the chance for a hit is not variable; if you throw where N=5, the spaces along the way with units have a 1/5 chance of being hit, regardless of how far from the initial throwing space they are.]]
Rule #36 - In Democracy Flagrante (Reproposed by Russell Blau): After all other rules are resolved, the number of votes permitted by each player is doubled.
Rule #38 - Scrambled Eggs (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): At the end of Winter 1902, after builds, all units will be redistributed randomly among all passable spaces. Armies landing in water will become fleets. Fleets landing in non-coastal land spaces will become armies. In addition, supply centers will be redistributed among all players. After such redistribution, each player will have the same number of supply centers, but such centers will be randomly chosen. In Spring 1903, each player may designate three of his supply centers to be home centers. (Russia may designate four) [[All units were Marines at the time, the changes from army to fleet and vice versa were ignored.]]
Rule #41 - Votes as Currency (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): During
Spring and Fall turns, votes may be spent as follows:
(1) One vote to support a unit in place.
(2) Two votes to support any unit's move.
(3) Three votes to garrison a controlled supply center. A garrisoned supply center has an intrinsic defensive strength of one if the area is unoccupied. A garrison is destroyed if any other player's unit occupies the garrisoned space.
(4) Five votes to buy one Rule Point.
These expenditures are in addition to those that are provided by other rules.
Rule #42 - Collapsing Wormholes (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): Each "wormhole" (i.e., adjacency between any two spaces that are not adjacent on the map published in Eternal Sunshine), immediately collapse after any unit successfully moves through it. All other wormholes that touch either of those two spaces also immediately collapse. No additional movement is allowed through a collapsed wormhole. For each successful move that causes one or more wormholes to collapse, the moving player will receive 0.5 Rule Points. (Fractional rule points do not round up.) The adjacencies created by Rules 14, 17 and 22 are non-geographic adjacencies and qualify as wormholes. The adjacencies created by Rules 15 and 23 are geographic adjacencies and do not qualify as wormholes. With each game result, the GM shall publish an alphabetical list of all non-collapsed wormholes. This rule does not apply retroactively. [[This rule currently only applies to the adjacencies to the Upper and Lower River, as Rule #45 eliminated the rest. The Upper River wormhole has collapsed, and the Lower River no longer exists due to Rule #55.]]
Rule #44 - It's 2 a.m., boys. Time to go home
(Proposed by Mark D Lew): If at
the end of the Fall 1910 turn no player has achieved victory, the game ends and
Heather Taylor is declared the winner.
Rule #45 - Return to (Relative) Normalcy (Proposed by Mark D Lew): Now that we are completely scrambled, the board returns to normal and we try to regain our sanity:
Units, center ownership, and home centers remain as determined by the Egg Scrambling. Board adjacencies return to normal (reversing the effects of Continent-Wide Web, Habsburg Relocation, and Teleport Gates). The island spaces are still passable dots but with normal board adjacencies only (including Cor-Sar and Nap-Sic). Upper and Lower River still exist, treated as ordinary sea spaces adjacent to Belgium and London respectively and to each other.
Jim Burgess and Don Williams still control Drance's votes and moves as currently specified, but any other deviant business related to them is repealed, as are the rules extending Deviant influence to other games in the zeen (ie, #31 and #32).
All marines become armies or fleets (army if in a landlocked space, fleet if in a sea space, randomly chosen otherwise). Any marine currently in the air continues its flight as a marine but then reverts to army or fleet once it lands. No new marines may be built. Any barbarian horde currently existing continues as such until destroyed, but the rule is repealed with regard to new barbarians. Any unit currently invisible remains so until revealed, but the rule is repealed with regard to new invisibility. (That is, #8, #19, and #28 are no longer in effect once their current alterations expire.)
Other rules (ie, #1, #16, #21, #34) remain in effect.
In re-establishing normalcy, this rule does not override any new abnormalcies (eg, adjacencies) passed simultaneously.
#50 - "Say the Secret Woid and Win a Hundred Dollars" (Proposed by Russell Blau): In every issue of Eternal Sunshine, the GM will publish a secret word, somewhere _outside_ the Black Licorice game report. The secret word will be clearly identified; for example, the zine may say "The secret word is zucchini"; but the GM can vary the exact phrasing so that players cannot easily find the answer with a simple text search. Each player who correctly repeats the secret word in their orders the following season can cast extra votes equal to one-half their current vote total, dropping any fractions. In Winter, if there is no voting [if Rule #39 does not pass], players who correctly repeat the secret word can make an extra rule proposal.
"Plunder" (Proposed by John David Galt): Any unit which is in a supply center during a
spring or fall turn, and performs no other action in that turn except to hold,
may plunder that supply center. Barbarian Hordes may plunder.
Plundering fails only if the unit ordered to plunder is dislodged on that turn.
A plundered space ceases to be a supply center for any purpose for two full
game years beginning at the end of the turn in which it was plundered.
(Thus a space plundered in Spring 1904 would become a supply center again after
#55 – “Disappearing Spaces” (Proposed by Mark D Lew): Each spring or fall, after adjudication of moves, the least popular space will be removed from the game. GM will identify the unoccupied space which has gone unoccupied for the longest time. If there is a tie, GM will randomly choose from among them. This space will be annexed by one adjacent space, again chosen at random by the GM. Thenceforth, the disappearing space no longer exists, and the annexing space now occupies the entire area of the two spaces combined. The annexing space maintains all its original qualities, including name, land/sea, dot/non-dot, and occupying unit. For example, if the Tyrrhenian Sea is annexed by Tunis, then the new Tunis would become a large land space dot which now borders Lyo, Tus, Rom and Nap; it would have two coasts, and Rome would no longer have a coast.
#58 - Junior Birdman (Proposed by Pete Gaughan): An air attack automatically defeats any unit or movement on the ground. [[This rule will have no effect unless Marines or some other airborne unit is adopted.]]
Rule #60 - Heather Wins Regardless (Proposed by Jim Burgess): If some player achieves what appear to be victory conditions by current or any future rules prior to Fall 1910, then Heather Taylor still wins and the "winner" on the board gets a booby prize
Rule #61 – Blackjack
(Proposed by Russell Blau): After each Fall season, the GM will shuffle a standard
52-card deck of playing cards and deal out one card to each supply center. Each player's blackjack hand consists of the cards dealt to that player's owned centers. As per normal blackjack rules, face cards are worth 10, and aces are either 1 or 11, whichever gives the player the better result. The player with the best hand (highest value less than or equal to 21) wins, and gets an extra off-board supply center for the following game year. [[The off-board supply center is not a build center and cannot be moved to.]]
Rule #62 - RP Decay (Proposed by Russell Blau): Rule Points are radioactive. Each game-year, there is a 1/20 probability that any given RP will decay (i.e., be permanently lost). Decays will be calculated during the Winter adjustment phase.
Rule #67 - The Center Cannot Hold (Proposed by Jack McHugh): Every year, after winter builds but before spring orders, each player chooses one unit to go rogue (in the event of a tie the the GM will randomly chose a unit to go rogue.) The unit is considered in civil disorder and will hold in place but cannot be supported by anyone. The unit is removed if forced to retreat or if not on a center during any winter turn.
Rule #70 - Nasty Nussia Needs to be Neighborly (Proposed by Jason
Bergmann): During this time of economic crisis,
a populist backlash against Nussian executive bonuses has drastic
consequences. As a result, each non-Nussian starting player casting at
least two votes for this proposal may name (along with such votes) one Nussian
controlled supply center that will immediately become a home supply center
controlled by such player, along with any unit located within. In case of
a conflict between two players who choose the same supply center, the player
with the heaviest concentration of nearby units (as determined by the GM) will
gain control. For each supply center so lost, Nussia may convert one
non-home supply center into a home supply center in the forthcoming winter and
may throw one snowball from each new home center named during that winter. [[Sardinia was the only center named by an
eligible player – Turkey – so Sardinia is now a Turkish home and build
Rule #71 - Spring Training (Proposed by Jason Bergmann): Each starting player may name, along with their Spring 1904 orders, one major league baseball organization. For each spring training win earned by that organization, the starting player will receive one RP. For each spring training loss suffered by that organization, the starting player will lose one RP. The same baseball organization may be chosen by multiple starting players. Starting players failing to choose a baseball organization with their Spring 1904 orders will be assigned the Washington Nationals, which can barely be described as an organization and whose games can barely be described as baseball. [[Italy takes the Giants, Nussia takes the A’s, and Turkey takes the Angels. Everybody else gets the Nationals. These RP will be added or subtracted each issue AFTER the turn, based on the record at that point. So you can’t use the RP’s (or you don’t lose them) until you see the adjustment in an issue of ES.]]
#73 - Perpetual Movement Orders Not Allowed, No DUCKING! (Proposed by Jim Burgess): Since some ducklike guys in this game have been making perpetual orders to avoid NMRing and being eliminated from this monstrosity, this is antithetical to the point of the game, which is uhhh, well that's to make weird proposals, but anyway, the people supposed to be pushing the pieces need to push the pieces, so perpetual orders of any kind are not allowed, all players now are not allowed to issue HOLD orders to any more than one "regular" unit (defined as those on the printed playing map) in any Spring/Fall movement season. Players failing to make such moves are judged to have NMRed and are replaced.
#74 - "I am rubber, you are glue" (Proposed by Russell Blau): If a player (the "Proposer") proposes a rule that specifically singles out one or more player(s) or power(s) by name (the "Target") for special treatment, which in the GM's sole and unappealable judgment would be adverse to the Target, and that proposed rule is _not_ adopted, then the GM shall immediately apply that rule as if it had been adopted with the Target's name deleted and the Proposer's name (or power) substituted in its place.
Black Press Gunboat, “Maple Sugar,” 2009Crb32, F 05
Austria: No Moves Received! A Budapest, A Galicia,A Serbia, A Venice, A Vienna.
England: F English Channel Supports F North Sea, F North Sea Supports F Norwegian Sea (*Cut*),
F Norwegian Sea Supports F North Sea (*Cut*).
France: A Spain Supports A Marseilles (*Ordered to Move*), F Tunis Hold.
Germany: No Moves Received! F Belgium, A Brest, A Burgundy, F Denmark, F Holland, A Munich, A Picardy.
Italy: A Marseilles - Spain (*Fails*), A Rome Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea – Naples, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Naples.
Russia: Retreat A Serbia - Greece.. F Barents Sea - Norwegian Sea (*Fails*), A Finland - Norway (*Fails*),
A Greece - Bulgaria (*Fails*), F Norway - North Sea (*Fails*), F Rumania Supports A Greece - Bulgaria (*Cut*),
F Sevastopol – Armenia, A Ukraine Supports F Rumania, A Warsaw Hold.
Turkey: F Black Sea - Rumania (*Fails*), A Bulgaria Supports F Black Sea - Rumania (*Cut*),
A Constantinople Supports A Bulgaria, F Ionian Sea - Naples (*Fails*).
Winter 1905/Spring 1906 Deadline is June 29th at 7:00am my time
Supply Center Chart
Austria: Budapest, Serbia, Trieste, Venice, Vienna=5, Even
England: Edinburgh, Liverpool, London=3, Even
France: Spain, Tunis=2, Even
Germany: Belgium, Berlin, Brest, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich, Paris=8, Build 1
Italy: Marseilles, Naples, Rome=3, Even
Russia: Greece, Moscow, Norway, Rumania, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Warsaw=8, Even
Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Smyrna=4, Even
R-A: Have mercy... i thought Your land was for the taking
and quite frankly, i need living space to crush the Brit and the Turk and now
fend off your onslaught. Please have mercy. I will get my man outa there as
soon as possible.
T-A: I hope greece is secured... boy it looks tasty
T-R: I have
changed my mind... Austria musst be destroyed, Russia will you ally.
T => R: All that
smooth talkin' comes too fucking late. I shall support my own attack
on Rum if A does not wanna go there.
T => I: Oh what a chaotician you are!
F – Europe: I’ll support whomsoever holds Marseilles …against the German tyrant.
T => A: I agree with you, but you gotta tell me what S you want
T => F: Don't give up
Austria must fall please help
to Adriatic, we must kill Austria
this work and may we drink Vodka in Liverpool
last stand of the 300 french men.....
Austria is powerful
R-T/A: Hey guys... lets ally... i have rumania turkey has bulgaria and Austria get serbia and Greece. we must unite and conquer.. maybe Germany can join too.
By Popular Demand
Credit goes to Ryk Downes, I believe, for inventing this. The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be doubled. In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5. Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted!
Round 8 Categories
1. A brand of pen.
2. Something associated with Halloween.
3. A movie featuring Walter Matthau
4. A magician.
5. A cardinal number.
Can anyone stop the Duck? Only two rounds left!
Selected Comments By Category:
Pen – Paraic
Reddington “NOTE: For all things about pens I'd strongly recommend the website penisland.com” [[That is a TERRIBLE joke…but funny too.]] Rick Desper “Going cheap. Cross would
have been the expensive option.”
- Rick Desper “Really tempted to go with Michael
Matthau – Philip
Murphy “I would have said The Odd Couple,
but since Grumpy Old Men is one of my favourite comedies, it gets my vote.”
Magician – Philip Murphy “I was going to say Dumbledore but ehhhhh quite frankly I always found him a slightly suspicious caricature of Merlin anyhow.” Robin ap Cynan “I almost put Penn and Teller.” Rick Desper “Was tempted to go with Penn or Teller, but it would be hard to pick one of them.” Jim Burgess “The question here is which period, Houdini, Blackstone, Henning, or someone recent.”
Cardinal Number – Philip Murphy “I'm weak at math, so this is just
random.” Rick Desper “Am tempted
to go with Aleph_0, or, even more obscure, Aleph_1, and then we could have a
debate if somebody else submitted c whether c = Aleph_1.
Aleph_0 is the cardinality of the set of natural numbers. c is the cardinality of the set of real numbers. Aleph_1 is the least cardinal number greater than Aleph_0. For a long time it was a question of interest in the field of mathematics whether c = Aleph_1. (It's relatively easy to prove that Aleph_0 < c ). Learned during grad school that this hypothesis (the 'Continuum Hypothesis') is independent of the classic axioms of set theory. “
Round 9 Categories – Deadline is June 29th at 7:00am my time
1. A type of hat.
2. A Paul Newman film.
3. A brand of sunglasses.
4. A comic book.
5. An opera.
There are ten rounds of movie quotes, and each round consists of ten quotes. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. If you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner – and it might be a very good prize! Research is not permitted! That means NO RESEARCH OF ANY KIND, not just no searches for the quotes themselves. Try to avoid the temptation to Google the quotes. I’m doing many of the quotes from memory anyway, so you won’t necessarily be able to find them by direct search…so don’t try! Each round will also contain one bonus point, which is awarded if you can tell me what the ten movies being quoted have in common.
#1. A hundred and six astronauts in the whole fucking world and I'm one of them! Terms of Endearment, Correct – RL, JB, KW. Steel Magnolias – AL. The Right Stuff – RD, PV. Apollo 13 – JM.
#2. Are either of you paleontologists? I'm in desperate need of a paleontologist. War Games, Correct – PV, JM, JB, KW. An Indiana Jones movie – AL (My guess is an Indiana Jones movie, but the answer is Wargames. I asked my girlfriend, Carol, what a paleontologist studies and she told me, and asked why I was asking. I explained about the contest and told her the quote and she said, "That's from Wargames. I've seen it fifty times." Carol used to teach Computer Technology and show the movie to her classes.). Jurassic Park – RD.
#3. Englishmen, you're all so fucking pompous. None of you have got any balls. Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life, Correct – RL, PV, JM, JB. Patton – AL. Unforgiven – RD.
#4. But, look, I figure it this way: better to be king for a night than schmuck for a lifetime. The King of Comedy, Correct - PV. The Man Who Would Be King – AL. Night and the City – RD. King Ralph – JM.
#5. I'm sorry. It was a lousy thing to do. But I was just so humiliated I just had to kill myself. Class Defending Your Life – RD.
#6. They're either married or gay. And if they're not gay, they've just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they've just broken up with a bitch who looks exactly like me. The Big Chill, Correct – PV, JM, JB, KW. Thelma and Louise – AL. When Harry Met Sally – RD.
#7. Don't goddamn me, Alex! Just don't goddamn me, sweetheart! And don't take my project! This is MY project! Brainstorm, Correct - PV. Fatal Attraction – RD. Jurassic Park II – JM.
#8. I don't trust happiness. I never did, I never will. Tender Mercies, Correct - PV. Annie Hall – RD. Great Santini – JB.
#9. When I listen to poetry and music, then I can live. You see, darling, the rest of the time it's just me. And that's not enough. Educating Rita, Correct – JM, JB. Bird – RD.
#10. Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch! A Christmas Story, Correct – RL, PV, JM, JB, KW. Network – RD.
Bonus: What do all these films have in common? They Were All Released in 1983, Correct – RL, JB. They All Feature James Woods – RD. Something to do with the 80’s – PV, JM (close but not close enough).
Scores: BW – Brendan Whyte (0 + 2 = 2), DM – Dane Maslen (0 + 4 = 4), PV - Pat Vogelsang (7 + 40 = 47), RD – Rick Desper (0 + 15 = 15), PR – Paraic Reddington (0 + 13 = 13), AL – Andy Lischett (0 + 10 = 10), AY – Andy York (0 + 4 = 4), JB – Jim-Bob Burgess (7 + 41 = 48), JM – Jack McHugh (5 + 21 = 26), DW – Don Williams (0 + 6 = 6), KW – Kevin Wilson (4 + 4 = 8), MH – Melinda Holley (0 + 0 = 0), RL – Robert Lesco (4 + 0 = 4).
Okay, this round proved way too hard for you folks. Next one is easier:
#1. Ya know, you see a girl a couple of times a week, just for laughs, and right away they think you're gonna divorce your wife. Now I ask you, is that fair?
#2. There'll be 100 million people right here in this country who will be shocked and offended and appalled and the two of you will just have to ride that out, maybe every day for the rest of your lives.
#3. Look, I'm here with my partner and nine other people, see. And we're dying, man. You know? You're going to see our brains on the sidewalk, they're going to spill our guts out. Now are you going to show that on television? Have all your housewives look at that? Instead of As The World Turns?
#4. I'm sorry ma'am, I lied to you. I'm very sorry about that. That man right there is my brother and if he doesn't get to watch 'People's Court' in about 30 seconds, he's gonna throw a fit right here on your porch.
#5. Every night it's the fucking chicken! Holy God Almighty! Is it possible just once we could get something to eat for dinner around here that's not the goddamned fucking chicken?
#6. We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion.
#7. Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
#8. And then he calls me a jerk, and says the last guy who thought he was a jerk was dead now. So I don't say nothin' and he says, "What do ya think about that?" So I says, "Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him, then."
#9. But, Mrs. Mulwray, I goddamn near lost my nose. And I like it. I like breathing through it. And I still think you're hiding something.
#10. And Nietzsche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're gonna live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
Bonus: What do all these films have in common?
Deadline for your answers to Round 7: June 29th at 7:00am my time
General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine: June 29th, 2010 at 7:00am my time
See You Then!