Eternal Sunshine #47

December 2010

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX  75149

Email: doug of or diplomacyworld of

gdalogoOn the web at – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at  Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at  Also remember to check out for official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his available merchandise!  Links to many of the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button in the main menu of the Whining Kent Pigs website.  Or go to where women can learn all the secrets of how a man’s mind works, and why they act the way they do.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata.  We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at, and a Facebook group at!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Quote Of The MonthHey! Let’s go out dancing! You want to go out to Montauk with me?” (Clementine in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)


Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine that can boast a column by Jack McHugh.  So there!  I’m actually REALLY short on time today, so this introduction is going to be brief.  Paul Milewski and Andy York both took this issue off, but I hope to see them back soon.  Jack is here, as is Richard Walkerdine.  You’ll also find a new interview, a short essay of mine, games, letters, hypothetical questions, movie reviews…you know, the usual crap!


Please make note of the new game openings.  First is a game of Cline 9-Man; I’d like to get at least two or three people sgned up right away so I know there may be interest in filling it.  There’s also a game of Everybody Plays Dip, which I am starting next issue.  The rules to both games are elsewhere…Everybody Plays is a simple game where you can send in orders for every nation (even multiple sets for every nation).  In other words, it is a participation-based Diplomacy game.  Speaking of Diplomacy, one game ends this issue, while a new one starts.  If you’d like to be in the NEXT game, sign up now!


Before I forget, let me plug Brandon Whyte (ES participant, and long-time publisher of Damn the Consequences) who has released his book on the railways of Laos, Thailand, and Cambodia.  The publisher describes it as follows:


whyteThe atlas presents detailed maps of three Southeast Asian countries, depicting every known railway, tramway and mass-transit line, public or private, past and present. The bilingual maps locate and name every station in both local and Romanised scripts. In addition, the extensive text describes the railway history of each country, and for each line gives a detailed commentary on its conception and construction, notable features such as bridges, tunnels and spurs, as well as a chronology, station listing, and reference list. Appendices explain the Rattanakosin and Buddhist-era dating systems, place name changes, and local units of measurement, provide bilingual historical lists of railway authority officials, and give a glossary of local-language geographical and railway terminology. The result of two years of fieldwork and archival research on three continents, the atlas will prove invaluable for railway enthusiasts and researchers seeking information on the rail systems of three countries whose unique alphabets make accessing information difficult for foreigners. The bilingual maps will assist travellers to plan and enjoy their rail journeys in Southeast Asia, while the fascinating stories of the Khone Island railway in Laos, the two Japanese-built 'Death Railways' to Burma, or King Rama VI's personal tramway to his seaside palace, will provide informative and entertaining reading even for those who are unable to ride the rails in person.


If you’d like to purchase a copy, you can do it direct from the publisher on their website.  The link is:


Oh, one more thing…I’m always looking for new candidates for the “You Don’t Know Me” interview section.  They don’t need to be famous, or artistic, or anything like that...just interesting.  If you know a good candidate, email me!


That’s it from me.  See you next issue!


The Month’s Playlist: Highway 71 – 3 Penny Acre; Exilarch – Conjure One; Grace Pettis – Grace Pettis; Verities and Balderdash – Harry Chapin; 3 Penny Acre – 3 Penny Acre; How to Be Mean – Palmdale; When May Come – Raina Rose.



Reasons, Just Not Good Ones


Recently, a friend was asking me about my relationship with Mara, and why I married her if I know it was probably a hopeless situation in the end.  The point that the friend was trying to make was the fallacy of memory, and perhaps I didn’t really think that at the time.  Just as sometimes it is hard to remember the good times we had through the years, wasn’t it possible that the misery and hopelessness of the later years have bled through to the earlier pages of the book of our story? 


In some respects that is true.  I mean, I knew what a twisted relationship we had, and I knew that Mara had quite a few mental problems.  But I didn’t have any normal relationship to compare it to; my parents had one of the strangest marriages in history (those are stories for another day).  And my mother was a cacophony of mental illness herself.  It is generally accepted that she was a schizophrenic, an alcoholic and random bits of other problems.  But that was my mother; I was her son, and I did what I could to love her, protect her (from herself when necessary), defend her, and take care of her.  If that meant wearing broken plastic-framed glasses, held together with epoxy and tape because supposedly we couldn’t afford a new pair (not that I’d ask anyway), that’s what I would do. 


In a nutshell, that’s how my relationship with Mara was built.  Year after year I’d see more of her mental illness, but I refused to let any of that divert me from my mission to be the martyr and make her life as happy as I could.  As near as I could tell, I’d known about her mental instability long before we even lived together, but my friend’s inquiries had made me start to wonder.  How much of those problems had Mara really shown signs of?  And to what extent?


Recently, unpacking a few boxes I pulled out of my storage unit, I came across a large red metal box.  This is a box I built in metal shop in Junior High School; a simply project which I managed to screw up by initially spot-welding the long hinge to the outside of the box.  The teacher made me spend two classes pounding off the hinge with a chisel and hammer before re-welding it to the inside.  This is also the box where I keep, and always have kept, letters and cards that Mara sent me.  I picked a few out at random…one from when we were both still in High School (she was a senior and I was a sophomore), with typical foolishness…one from 1993, where she thanked me for taking such tender care of her the day before (she’s had a bad day with her Crohn’s Disease, and on top of that was nauseas all day long)…and then I found one from what was the middle of my Junior year.  This was after Mara had dropped out of the University of Maryland (she stayed there one semester) and was back living with her parents.  As best as I can recall, I had made plans to go play draw poker with some friends that evening, and when I called Mara from the friend’s house to chat for a few minutes, she was very upset because she suddenly “forgot” that we weren’t spending time together that night.  Anyway, I think the letter she wrote after we hung up the phone - and gave to me the next day or so - speaks for itself.









Rereading this kind of letter, from back in 1987, doesn’t dredge up any terrible memories or emotions the way some later events might.  It seems so completely foreign to me now, like it was three lifetimes ago or was something that happened to someone else entirely.  But when I place it in context, I realize that this was the period when Mara first built that connection between us which she would sharpen and strengthen through the years: life with me was tolerable, life without me was unlivable.  I was still nearly a year and a half away from graduating High School, but already I had assumed my role as the martyr and savior.  I would stick with Mara, and do my best to give her a reason to live.  Her life needed to be saved; mine could be written off without much loss.


And yes, I am now certain that even then I did know this was a hopeless cause.  It was just that I still allowed myself the glimmer of fantasy in which things would work out, the same way you imagine what you might do with the winnings when you spend $1 on a lottery ticket.  You know it can’t happen….but it CAN happen, and maybe somehow you’ll be the lucky one.


Sadly, I wasn’t.  And neither was she.



MCj04370740000[1]MCj04418150000[1]The Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest Entries


The season is over…time to check out the results.  The rules were simple: you get one point for each correct division winner, and one point for correctly selecting the wild card teams (one per league).  Then you get two points for each team you correctly choose as league champion (meaning they play in the World Series), and three points for correctly picking the World Series winner.  The choices, and scores, are below:


So the winners are: Heather Taylor and Pat Vogelsang in a tie!  Considering Heather knows NOTHING about baseball, we should all be embarrassed!  Both will win a prize!





Hypothetical of the Month

Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1 – You are at a dinner party and hear a distinct CRACK as a corpulent guest settles into an antique chair.  The hostess is in the kitchen.  Will you tell her what happened later?  #2 – As a reporter, you agree to interview a prominent politician “off the record.”  He says something vital to the public welfare.  Do you report it?


Melinda Holley - #1How do I know the chair wasn't splintered before the corpulent one sat on it?  I don't see this as my problem.


#2 - No.  But I investigate the hell out of it so I can report it as soon as possible from another angle.  If, as a reporter, I can't figure out a way to do that, I need to change professions.  Too many reporters these days are ill-trained hacks who couldn't write their way out of a wet paper bag.


Jack McHugh - #1 - Probably was me....and I do switch to another chair as I'm sure I don't have to say anything as it will be published in this zine.

#2 - If you agreed to off the record you can't use it from that conversation per se...but you can get confirmation elsewhere and use it without mentioning the original source.


Dave McCrumb - #1 -No. We have antique chairs and always put any shaky ones up before a party. People should know the risk. If you want to show off, you have to take the risk.


#2 - I would never agree in the first place. What is the point of an 'off-the-record' interview? Any reporter that agrees to that beforehand is not a good reporter.


Jérémie LeFrancois - #1 - Yes I do. I would check first if the chair actually is damaged. And make sure everybody else has a chance to do it (to report) before myself - of course!

#2 –No I do not think so. If it was agreed to be off record, it stays off record. A deal is a deal. But I do not think I would be a good reporter.


Kevin Tighe - #1 – Yes, she should know if it’s broken.


#2 – No, but I would give another reporter a tip to look into it.


Philip Murphy - #1Um.... that really is a difficult one. On balance I probably would draw her attention to the damage, and leave her to figure out who was sitting in it.

#2 - It depends. Generally I will keep things confidential. If it's a situation such as corruption or illegality, I'd blow the whistle. Of course as a reporter I'd probably report the information while keeping the source secret on the basis of confidentiality.


Robin ap Cynan - #1  Not only would I tell the hostess, I would tell my sadly overweight dinner companion first, and immediately, in order to get him out of the chair without further damage or injury.  I have myself been in the unfortunate position where a chair has collapsed under me: fortunately, I have not been injured, but I have known others who have been.  More fool the hostess to offer a dangerous chair to be used at table...  She must provide safe furniture, or take the consequences of damaged antiques and a lawsuit for personal injuries.


#2 - Yes, but I would tell him first what I planned to do and why, and then invite him to agree with what I was doing and how it should be done, with a view to his going completely on the record to make a clean breast of the whole affair.


Andy York - #1 - If there wasn't a need to immediately intervene (help the person find a new chair and move the antique chair out of the room), I would mention it to the hostess without identifying the individual. Now, the question is why someone would have an antique chair as part of their seating arrangements and why would someone "corpulent" try to set in it.


#2 - Off the record is off the record. I would directly ask if, on this one point, I could quote him or if he would be an "anonymous source." If not, I'd work to find out the information by some other means (while still working on the person to put the information on the record).


Don Williams - #1 - Yes, I’d tell her.  It’s dishonest of the other guest not to.  Also, someone else could sit in the chair and be hurt if it collapses.


#2 - No, I would not violate the OTR code … I talk to reporters a lot in my work and being able to OTR is important for background and understanding.  Besides, you should never say anything OTR that the reporter may feel compelled to divulge.


Heather Taylor - #1 – If I like the “corpulent” person, I’d probably keep my mouth shut.  But if I don’t, yeah, I’d find a way to inform the hostess later on.


#2 – I think most reporters are sleazy and want the biggest headline possible, so yes I would break his confidence and report it.  But I wouldn’t be a reporter, because I don’t want to put myself in that position.


For Next Month (For the time being, I am selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises.  The word Scruples is also being used as a secret this issue).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.:  #1 – Your child support payments will be cut in half if you tell your “ex” about the big raise you got.  Do you tell?  #2 – You are a doctor.  A baby is born with incurable disorders and is in extreme pain.  Do you prescribe an overdose?


The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews


The Social Network – By now most of you – if not all of you – have heard something about “the Facebook movie.”  This is the movie in question: The Social Network.  Based on Ben Mezrich’s book “The Accidental Billionaires,” it tells the tale of Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg), and the development of Facebook (originally “The Facebook”), in what is quickly revealed to be a series of flashbacks during two separate lawsuits Zuckerberg is facing.  It seems that how he initially developed the site, as well as how he treated his best friend and partner, are in question.  We soon learn that Zuckerberg, while brilliant and forward thinking about the internet, is a social outcast, a nerd, and above all envious (or outright hostile) to the social structure of Harvard and the world at large. 


His genius is displayed early on as, while drunk and depressed over a breakup with his girlfriend, Zuckerberg – with help from his best and nearly only friend Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield) – spends an hour designing and building a site which allows Harvard students to vote on photos of female students, choosing who is hotter (while he simultaneously blogs ever move he makes).  The site receives over 20,000 hits from that small audience before crashing the Harvard network entirely.


It is Zuckerberg’s desire to be allowed into the Harvard elite community – especially the historic clubs – which drives his actions.  While Eduardo is accepted into one of the private clubs, Zuckerberg is ignored.  That is, until a trio of fellow students – each members of the most prestigious Harvard association - ask Zuckerberg to help them design an exclusive dating site for Harvard students.  His failure to ever deliver on that promise – as well as questions about if he built The Facebook around this project’s ideas and layout – are the basis for one of the two lawsuits we are placed within (the flashback scenes are all stories told during various depositions).


Soon The Facebook takes off, and while Zuckerberg himself seems not to care much about the financial rewards, his desire for credit and social acceptance leads him to crawl under the wing of Napster founder Sean Parker (Justin Timberlake).  Parker is given a piece of the company for what seems like basically no reason.  Then, as Parker and Zuckerberg party on the west coast, Eduardo pounds the pavement trying to find advertisers so they can turn the company into a money-making proposition.  In his absence, he received a royal screw-over, the subject of the second lawsuit.


Some of the dialogue is difficult to follow, either because of the location (a loud bar, a campus party, etc.) or because all the characters have slightly too cool remarks prepared for every occasion.  The story itself is quite interesting, and Eisenberg’s Mark Zuckerberg is played in a very crisp fashion: we never forget how awkward he feels, how looked-down-upon, and the resentment he carries deep inside him is forever in view.


Overall the film is a satisfying one, although it felt a bit too long.  Editing out 20 minutes of unnecessary details would have helped quite a bit.  Still, it’s worth a view.  Check it out, or wait for the DVD so you can use the subtitles and actually hear what everybody is saying.


Seen on DVD – Modern Family Season 1 (A-, tremendously funny.  It has been a long time since something this good was on U.S. television.)  Pirate Radio (C+, as a watch-on-DVD film it was fun, and the classic music was terrific.  But there isn’t much of a story there, and the characters never grew on me).  Welcome to the Dollhouse (A-, still a hilarious and painful tribute to the horrors of being the middle child, and Junior High School.  Like a car wreck, you can’t look away even when you want to).  King Arthur (D, couldn’t make it through with all the terrible acting and historical inaccuracies; even the weaponry was wrong).


You Don't Know Me

The Eternal Sunshine Interview


This month’s interview is with the charming and talented Bernice Campbell-Hembree, bass player and vocalist for the band 3 Penny Acre (who I saw recently in Tulsa when I traveled to see Antje Duvekot).  And, away we go!


bernicehWhat is your name: Bernice Armel Campbell - Hembree

What is your astrological sign: Leo

How old are you (exact or approximate): Nearing 30 years, and happy about it!

What is your earliest childhood memory: Helping with the dairy cow milking chores on my family farm. Really. I just added to the work I'm sure, but it was fun growing up around a working, bustling farm.

Describe your immediate family (present day): Married to Bryan Hembree with our sweet daughter, Bergen (4 yrs).  Bryan and I met through music and continue that connection today as we play together in 3 Penny Acre.

What do you do for a living: Music plays the predominant role as a "living", although I spend much of my time at my business - Terra Tots ( I started Terra Tots 3 1/2 years ago. Becoming a parent opened my eyes to several things I'd never thought of before...such as cloth diapers! Terra Tots focuses on cloth diapers: educating the community about reusable diapers, teaching parents how to use them (it's so easy), and being here for parents who are trying to lead a more natural lifestyle.

So, as 3 Penny Acre music is my bread & butter and my joy, Terra Tots is a huge passion of mine as well.

Where were you born: Fort Smith, Arkansas.  I lived in AR for the first 5 years of life. After 5, I was an ARMY brat. We lived all other the world until settling back to AR in 1994.

What did you want to be when you were growing up: Oh my, all sorts of things: A runway model hair artist, a horse farmer, a world traveler, the lead singer for Heart. Especially a musician...of any kind. Basically anything that didn't pay well, but as a kid money doesn't exist.

As I learned about theater I dreamed of Broadway. That was a true goal for many years.  I am fortunate to be living a full life. Thanks for hard work, stubbornness, and parents who foster ambition!


Douglas Kent: How did you and your wonderful husband find each other through music? Was it love at first sight, or did he have to win a prize like you over with hard work and perseverance?

Bernice Campbell Hembree: A dear friend that I know from high school studied with Bryan at Oxford, England. He started planting the seed of love as he knew we would get along splendidly. This sweet mutual friend invited us both over (kinda as a secret blind date) for a fun-filled dinner and music for dessert. You could say it was love at first sight, or perhaps love at first chord. We were engaged 4 months later.

Douglas Kent: When did you first learn to read and play music, and on which instrument? What instruments are you able to play at a satisfactory level (satisfactory to you)?

Bernice Campbell Hembree: I started on piano at age 8. Clarinet at age 10. Studied voice and ear training starting at age 14 (the voice is an instrument!). Double bass is my most recent instrument - I've been playing bass for 8 years.

Douglas Kent: Growing up, what kind of musical influences did you have? Was music a part of the family too?

Bernice Campbell Hembree: I listened to everything. Classical to classic rock to my favorite...The Cranberries.  My grandfather was a Swiss yodeler. I have several of his family yodeling records. Treasures.  On the other side of the family, my great uncle was a successful country music touring artist. I have his old guitar, albeit in pieces.

Douglas Kent: Is it legal to live in Arkansas and NOT work for Wal-Mart? Or do you have to live under assumed names?

Bernice Campbell Hembree: Surprisingly, not everyone in Arkansas works for Wal-Mart, but we are required to pledge our allegiance by crossing through the doors at least once per year.


Douglas Kent: 3 Penny Acre was a quartet, but is now a trio. Was the split harmonious? I know Shannon went solo.  Personally I find your harmonies as a trio so well-woven that another voice is not at all necessary.

3paBernice Campbell Hembree: The quartet split was harmonious. 3PA was a trio before Shannon Wurst, and remains a trio of the same members despite her leaving. Shannon left to pursue her solo career, which she was having a hard time fostering as a band member.

Bayard, our band mate, is like a long lost brother. Our voices do weave nicely. 3 Penny Acre is a match made in harmony heaven.

Douglas Kent: Where did the idea for using Highway 71 (and Americana) as a sort of running theme for the last CD come from?

Bernice Campbell Hembree: Hwy 71 is our mother road. We are paying tribute I suppose. Really, it's the road through middle America. Those places it runs through inspired many of the songs. It's the tie that binds our Ozark hills to the Minnesota plains.

Douglas Kent: How long do you hit the road at a time? Has it been hard to leave Bergen for long stretches?  Also, despite ease of use and helping to keep landfills emptier, do you think you owe the universe an apology for helping to cause another generation to experience the horror of the diaper pail?

Bernice Campbell Hembree: We tour several short runs during the year (3-4 shows) during which Bergen can travel along, and for longer tours we try to schedule 14 days or less. Longer tours require Bergen staying home, which does present challenges. Plus we all have "day jobs" to schedule around. Bryan works at the University, Bayard works in his workshop (he's our talented luthier – ), and my business calls me back. After all, who would teach people how to properly clean their diaper pails?


Douglas Kent: What can you tell us about the next CD? The one sample song you performed in Tulsa - whether it will actually be on the CD or not - was enough to whet an appetite.

Bernice Campbell Hembree: The next CD is going to be fun and different than anything else we've done. We perform a few of our "Celtic" influenced songs, but this album will be full of new, never-heard before originals + haunting traditionals. Yes, the "mouth music" song My Son John will be on there! It's a favorite of ours. Look for the new album in March.

Also, we are working on a recording for the upcoming project we're working on with our regional theater company. The show is called Sundown Town. 3 Penny Acre is the band for the show. It's a play with music - not to be confused with a musical. This show will debut its world premiere in February and we're working on a small EP specifically for this show. Its gospel + old time traditional songs.

Those are the projects in the works as we take a break from touring.

Douglas Kent: Do you believe that folk music (or choose another term to describe the music of 3PA, among others) is simply a niche market, or do you feel that if it had access to a wider audience it would be successful? After all, without radio, television, and record labels owned by conglomerates to tell us what to think, how would we know if we liked it or not?


Conversely, do you think the ability of an artist of group like 3PA to build a following by playing original, inspired music rather than trying to fit into the mold defined by mainstream radio airplay is a reason why the "mainstream" is suffering so badly? Have the many Davids begun to topple the Goliath?


Bernice Campbell Hembree: Folk music is a niche market, which is why 3PA really tries to incorporate other forms of musical genres. We are not straight-up folk, but rather blend that "Americana, singer/songwriter" feel into our music. The independent artist is truly making waves in the music world. The big name, paid-off industry is hurting and that makes a fine wound for artists such as 3 Penny Acre to patch up. People want to hear something real - something personal. And that is what we provide. Hopefully a wider audience is appreciating it. We are trying to put a little youth back in the folk scene. I think its working.

Douglas Kent: What's the craziest thing that has happened to you on tour?

Bernice Campbell Hembree: 2009 summer tour we played for a Nude Festival, Avalon. That was pretty wild. Naked folk music. Need I say more?  Expect that, NO - I did not play naked; however, the same cannot be said for other 3PA members.

Douglas Kent: What kind of food do you guys like to eat when on the road (this being a precursor to the possibility of buying y'all dinner when you come to Dallas in March)?

Bernice Campbell Hembree: We all agree to no fast food. Usually we pack lots of delicious healthy snacks and eat well while traveling. We stop for Whole Foods salad bars to maintain good greens. Anything local. We always search out the local places of the towns we travel through.

Douglas Kent: Please name five of your favorite books, and five of your favorite movies, in no particular order (and not necessarily THE favorites, just among your favorites):

Bernice Campbell Hembree: In books, mostly non-fiction, expcept for those highly intense Harry Potter books. Yes, I love Harry Potter. And anything David Sedaris. 


Movies?  Out of Africa, Pride & Prejudice, Emma (I'm a sucker for Jane Austin BBC films), Drop Dead Fred, and Annie Hall.

Douglas Kent: It’s hard, but I’ll try to forgive you for Drop Dead Fred.  Like Frankenstein says: “Drop Dead Gorgeous gooood, Drop Dead Fred baaaaaaaaaaaad.”  Now, what's your poison?

Bernice Campbell Hembree: Good poison: a good espresso.  Bad poison: Styrofoam - the evil take-out containers

Douglas Kent: If someone really enjoys 3PA, what other artists would you direct them towards?


Bernice Campbell Hembree: Tim O'Brien, The Honey DewDrops, Jack Williams, Still on the Hill, Johann Wagner (he's a Texas man)

Douglas Kent:  Does 3PA have groupies? I'm more of a Bernice groupie myself.


Bernice Campbell Hembree: Yes, we have a few. I'm thrilled to have a Bernice groupie!

Douglas Kent:  I’m sure I am NOT your first choice though! 


Everyone interested in learning more about 3 Penny Acre and their music, or picking up a copy of Highway 71, should be sure to visit their website at .  Thanks to Bernice for risking life and limb to fight her way through this interview!



Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column


Rick Desper: I'm stunned that DOS was a singleton.  DOS is the ultimate computer acronym!!!

[[It is for people like us…then again, we also know what Pong was, and pull tabs, and the dial on a television set.]]

People, "IBM" isn't even an acronym!  Unless you pronounce it "ib-um".  Ditto for "CPU" and "PC".  While "RAM" is a real acronym, I prefer "DOS" because it's uniquely an acronym referring to the Microsoft Disk Operating System, while rams are also male sheep. 

It irritates me that I hit 4/5 of the most popular answers, but the one I decided to double down on was not only the only one where I didn't max out, but it was also a singleton!  ARRRGH!  Though if I'd really cared about trying to win that game I would have changed my Cameron Diaz film from "Being John Malkovich" to "There's Something About Mary".  But the former is a much, much better film!  Also it's a Charlie Kaufman script, and since the 'zine is named after a Kaufman film...

I guess everybody has forgotten about DOS completely.  :(

[[I went to High School with him I think….]]

The films were relatively easy because they all came out when I was of a movie-watching age.  Also, in 1980 my family first got cable tv, and a lot of these films were on cable at the time.  "The Jerk", "Kramer vs. Kramer", and "Apocalypse Now" were easy, and when I figured they all came out at about the same time, some of the others were easy, too, namely "Rocky II", "Norma Rae", "Meatballs", and "The Warriors".  I thought my guesses were inspired, if I say so myself, but they didn't hit. 

Regarding "Norma Rae", have you noticed a distinct lack of pro-union films in the past 20 years?  I have.
I miss the '70s.  The most recent one I can think of is "Matewan" from '87.


[[I’m trying to think of a more recent one.  Harlan County War?  Mining seems to be the focus these days.  Silkwood had some union overtones too, but I don’t remember what year that came out.]]


Dave McCrumb: I just finished reading the zine. I have only seen 2 of the movies from the movie quote quiz. I'm bad at quotes anyway but that explains why only the last one sounded familiar. Several of the quotes this time sound familiar. Of course I don't remember from where. The Bridge Over the River Kwai was a good movie but the book was 20 times better. I need to find it and read it again.


[[We all know the book is usually better, or is MUCH MUCH better.  There’s a minor challenge for you readers: what movies have been better than the books they were based on?]]


Kevin Tighe: [[Explaining where he disappeared to and what he has been up to]] Rumors about me?!  I was just a poor hippie-type living in the Redwoods.  And I don't think Texas Hold'em existed in the '80's, at least outside of Texas.


I got married to a woman who demanded ALL of my attention.  She wasn't a gamer.  She wouldn't play any game unless I guaranteed she'd win.  But she had other qualities I liked so we married and moved to Minnesota (her home state).  After 10 years, we separated then divorced a couple years after that.  She lives 2 blocks away and we actually get along now that we don't have to live together. 


My two sons, Stuart 20, Liam 14, were the best result of the marriage.  I raised them on chess, Titan, Samurai, and a variety of other games.  When they moved to video games they mostly played Morrowind, Oblivion, Fallout 3, and some Final Fantasy.  I, also, taught them my passion for old radio shows and Buster Keaton.  They've been a lot of fun. 


My sons are quite musical.  They both sang in the Land of Lakes Boy choir which tours Europe every other summer.  The choir has a good following over there.  So they've both visited more countries than I.  Liam also, plays the Irish harp.  I appreciate their talents because I can't even clap in time.  Really.


[[So where did they get those talents from?  Their mother?]]


I've had multiple jobs; ran a group home for adults, substitute teacher, projectionist at a multiplex theater, but mostly I've been a bread baker.  Had my own bakery for 3 years before it went belly up.  I now work at a bread factory making dough for 70,000 loafs of bread during my shift.  I like the hours and I get a pension so I'm content.


[[I never really understand how a bakery stays in business, unless it is a commercial bakery.  There is not much of an appreciation in the states for well-prepared baked goods.  And there seems to me there’d always be a lot thrown away; or eaten, if I worked there.]]


I've been a life-long Giants fan so I understand your frustrations with the Rangers. They almost moved out of San Francisco 3 times.  I had to watch Dave Kingman play third base.  I had to explain that Barry Bonds looks like a Thanksgiving blimp because he works out - a lot. Oh, and they were the first division winner to lose a series to a wild card team.  On the plus side they built their own stadium and, let's see, what else, oh yeah, THEY WON THE WORLD SERIES!  The TV announcers were driving me crazy.  Every game of every series they'd say that the Giants are a "ragtag bunch of misfits."  Every game!  It was great the Rangers made it that far.  I'm sure they will return soon.  I, also, follow the Twins.  They are currently in the "Let's lose to the Yankees in the playoffs" cycle.


[[So in other words, the Giants are actually the fleet of spaceships from the original Battlestar Galactica series?  At least your team didn’t declare bankruptcy in the middle of the season!  Then again…we can all be glad, for the moment, that we don’t root for the Pirates.  But as a child I rooted for the Pirates too – mainly because my oldest brother got me into them back then.  Stargell, Sanguillen, Tekulve, Bibby…there is hope for the future for any team, why not the Pirates?]]


Philip Murphy: Hope you and Heather and your animal masters are all doing well.

I've dropped off the radar somewhat the last few weeks. Things are not going well for us here in Ireland with the IMF in town and the country in hock at the global pawnbroker's shop. We're all mad as hell and there is a palpable gloomy depression setting in among everyone here. Is it possible for an entire country to suffer from deep black depression? I'm beginning to believe so. We're furious, but we cannot do anything.

I guess what makes it worse is that for the last 15 years we 'never had it so good' with jobs for all and money (mostly borrowed at low interest rates) to build huge houses and get nice cars, multiple holidays, and even dabbling in 'flipping' houses. Turns out that since 2000, we've been gorging ourselves on cheap money borrowed from Europe. Some of us went totally nuts on debt and our property sector became an employer of 25% of the economy - a massive bubble which burst three years ago.

[[May as well live here in the U.S.  Our housing market was a tremendous bubble, caused directly by the Federal Reserve keeping rates artificially low, and from government-backed agencies like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac making loans that should not have been made in the first place (while they dumped money into the campaign coffers of those on the committees which regulated them, like Barney Frank).  Obviously the problems with the U.S. economy run much deeper than that, and cross all political party and generation barriers.  The whole thing is like finger pointing after a car wreck.  It doesn’t matter who points or who yells loudest; the cars are still wrecked.]]

Now we're back where we were in the bad times. Nobody has any money to spare. So many people in danger of losing their homes,  and our banks have mostly been nationalized at HUGE cost to the government. We're facing a deficit of €250-300 billion (yes that is the number it's not a typo) between the banks and the hole in the country's finances. Unemployment is at 13.4% (around 450,000) and rising, and 100,000 of our best and brightest  graduates are leaving this year to flee the job crisis. Welfare is being cut, the minimum wage is being cut, taxes are going up and public servants have had their wages cut by up to 20%. There are no jobs except in a few specific tech positions.

So, to sum up, we're screwed, Jim. The interest on the debt alone will cost each tax payer €5,000 a year. For a country with only 4.2 million people, that is a catastrophe. We can't possibly pay it back.


[[Nor can we.  The next currency crisis is likely to begin in Washington.  There is simply no feasible way to grow out of our debt economically.  No matter what anybody says in Washington D.C., the only real option seems to be to monetize the debt.  And that doesn’t even try to tackle the annual deficit issues, just the national debt.  Nobody wants to accept less from the government…in fact, for 20 years now the Federal Government has done all it can to insert itself into every aspect of life in the nation.  Nobody wants to pay more in taxes, or to have less in services…monetization looks like the future to me…which I am very fearful will lead to hyperinflation.  We’ll have to wait and see.  And this is completely off the subject, but could SOMEBODY please explain to the politicians and the news organizations of this country that – as we derive most funds from income tax – their constant use of the term “the rich” is not referring to those who have the most, but those who earn the most (and taxable income only, at that…including small-business income depending on how it is organized).  I don’t fall into either group, but it just bugs the hell out of me anyway.]]

On the plus side, anyone holidaying in Ireland will get great value in accommodation if they shop around. We really need people to visit the country to help us recover from our Iceland moment. Eating out is still fairly expensive but not as expensive as before and there are good deals available.

As for myself, I'm more fortunate than most. Aside from my parents, who have helped me through the last year or so, I am not in debt. Most likely, when I finish the PGDE I will be forced to emigrate. Any suggestions where I could go? Teaching qualification, good MA in English?



[[Come on down to Texas, or other rural areas where there is a real shortage of qualified teachers.]]


Jim Burgess: Oh yes, I'm here, I was doing work... insane, your interview of Jennifer Siegel reminded me of me.  I worked on Halloween too and just dressed as a professor.  I ***was*** home for the first time in a decade (usually I just work late that day at work) and actually passed out some candy to groups of neighborhood kids, then I ran out.


[[Jennifer is way better looking than you though…]]


We are getting a report on the Baseball predictions this issue, right?  I really care how they came out.  Here were the guesses.... I'm pissed at myself for not choosing the Giants to go farther.... mid-way in the season I saw that they could go farther, and then they did.  I'm sorry for your Rangers, wish they could have annihilated someone else in a different year.


[[They aren’t a flash in the pan…they are a growing team, and I expect to see the Rangers at least battle for a playoff spot in the coming years.  And yes, we get the results this issue…one of the winners is a real surprise, even to herself!]]


Andy York: Great bit on the trip to Tulsa. I've never heard of either group, but will look them up and see about getting CDs. My next concert is going to be George Strait, Reba and Lee Ann Womack in January.


[[Oh that reminds me, any luck in Austin finding out what Alice Spencer is up to now?]]








MCj03243400000[1]Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh –

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #25




Nothing good to report.  My unemployment runs out in a few weeks…I’ll take any job I can get, but I can’t seem to get one.  Life can’t get much worse.  Therefore, this column is almost empty.  Tough luck.

5-Minute Management Course


Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door neighbor..

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob , after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients..'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at t he top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your

(3 ) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!




by Richard Walkerdine


Bill is in a bad way. He is in a very unhappy marriage and a very low paid job. One day he decides on a solution. He takes out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the only beneficiary. Then he finds a professional hit-man and tells him he wants to hire him to kill his wife.


The hit-man is called Artie, and when Bill meets him he explains that the killing will cost $5,000 but he needs a deposit up front.


Bill explains that the cost of the hit will come out of the insurance policy but Artie still insists on a payment up front. Bill opens his wallet and shows just a single one dollar bill inside.


Artie isn’t happy but reluctantly agrees to accept the contract. He takes the one dollar bill and the next day follows Bill’s wife when she goes shopping at the local grocery store.


She walks into the empty vegetable area. Artie creeps up behind her, presses his hands around her neck and strangles her! But as her lifeless body falls to the floor the assistant manager arrives and sees what is happening. So Artie strangles him too.


But all of this is caught on the store’s security cameras. So when Artie tries to leave the cops are waiting and he is arrested. He gives a full confession, even adding the details of the financial deal with Bill.


So next morning the local paper has the headline: “Artie Chokes Two For A Dollar At Safeway!”





by Richard Walkerdine


How many times have we all been urged by senior management to ‘Go the extra mile’, ‘Exceed your customer’s expectations’ and, crucially, ‘Give more than 100%’? But how do we measure our efforts? How do we know when that 100% target has been achieved or even exceeded?


Well fortunately there is a simple bit of maths we can apply to test how well we are doing. It goes like this.


We start with the letters of the alphabet: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.


Then we give them all a value: 1%, 2%, 3%, 4% etc through to 26%.


Now we have something to work with and can assess how well we are doing. Here are some examples.


KNOWLEDGE = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%


HARD WORK = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


ATTITUDE = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


BULLSHIT = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%


ASS KISSING = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%


So there we have it. If you want to be seen to be doing well then knowledge and hard work will certainly help, and attitude even more so. But to really get those rewards you think you deserve there is nothing better than bullshit and ass kissing!



by Richard Walkerdine


j0183290Father Christmas was in big trouble. Some of his toy suppliers had been late with their deliveries and, with now only a couple of days to go before Christmas he was way behind on his schedule. But he was determined not to let down all the girls and boys, but how could he get all the work done? Then he had an idea.


He called in all his little helpers, all the little elves and fairies that helped him throughout the year. “Look guys,” he said, “I’m sorry about this but I am just so behind with the work I’ve just got to have your help. If I carry on with the toys I should just about be able to get everything finished on time. But there is no way I can deliver all the Christmas trees as well.”


The elves and fairies looked round and saw the huge pile of Christmas trees lying in the corner. “Sure FC,” said one of the elves, “what should we do?”


Father Christmas smiled. “Well, each of those trees has got an address label on it. I need each of you to take one and deliver it to the right house.”


“No problemo,” replied the elf as he and the other elves and fairies descended on the pile of trees. They each took one, put it over their shoulder and flew off to deliver it to its destination.


MC900436342[1]Father Christmas breathed a sigh of relief and continued sorting out all the toys. He worked all through the day and half of the night. He didn’t even take a break for a coffee. But at last he was finished and the children would get their Christmas presents on time. In a state of total exhaustion he fell onto his bed and just simply crashed out.


But then, in the early hours, he was woken by the ringing of his doorbell. “Oh no!” he shouted, in a really foul mood. “Now what?” He stormed across to his front door and pulled it open.


There in front of him was a little fairy, a Christmas tree over her shoulder and tears streaming down her face. “Oh Father Christmas,” she cried. “I’m so sorry but I don’t know where this Christmas tree is supposed to go.”


“Come in my dear,” he replied, “and I’ll show you!”


...and that, my friends, is why there is always a fairy on the top of a Christmas tree...

Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: None, needs seven more to fill.  Sign up now!

Gunboat Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: None, need seven more to fill.  Sign up now!

Cline 9-Man Diplomacy V (Black Press): The most popular of the Cline 9-Man version.  Rules and map in this issue.  Signed up: None, needs nine players to fill.  Sign up now!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant.  Rules are in this issue, game will start next issue with Winter 1900 (deadline of December 28th at 7am my time).  Join in at any time!

By Popular Demand: Game currently underway, join any time. 

Eternal Sunshine Movie Quote Quiz: 10 rounds, join any time.  You can find it at the end of the zine. 

Standby List: HELP!  I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Jeremie Lefrancois (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson,Kevin Tight (Dip only), and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill.  When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it.  If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch.  If you have specific game requests please let me know.



Eternal Sunshine Game Section


Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010?, Gamestart!


This will be a standard, Black Press Diplomacy game, with the players and nations listed below.  If any players fails to submit orders for Spring 1901 by the deadline, the game will be halted while a replacement is found.  Good luck!  And welcome back to Kevin Tighe, missing from the hobby for a good decade or two!


Austria (Zachary Jarvie - ambassador_sadesky “of” Has F Tri, A Vie, A Bud.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” Has F Lon, A Lvp, F Edi.

France (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” Has F Bre, A Par, A Mar.

Germany (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” Has F Kie, A Ber, A Mun.

Italy (Hank Alme – almehj “of” Has A Ven, A Rom, F Nap.

Russia (Jack McHugh jwmchughjr “of” Has F StP(sc), A War, A Mos, F Sev.

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of” Has F Ank, A Con, A Smy.



Diplomacy “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” 2008A, W 13/S 14


Austria (Kevin Wilson - ckevinw “of” A Bohemia Supports A Galicia,

 A Budapest Supports A Galicia, A Galicia Supports A Ukraine, A Ukraine Supports A Sevastopol,

 A Vienna Supports A Bohemia.

England (Jérémie LeFrançois - jeremie.lefrancois “of” Build A London..

 A Burgundy - Marseilles (*Bounce*), F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), F Gascony - Spain(nc),

 F Kiel - Baltic Sea, A Livonia Supports A Warsaw, A London – Holland,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Western Mediterranean (*Dislodged*, retreat to Brest or Irish Sea or OTB),

 A Moscow Hold, A Munich Hold, F North Atlantic Ocean Supports F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F North Sea Convoys A London – Holland, A Picardy – Belgium, F Portugal Supports F Gascony - Spain(nc),

 A Prussia Supports A Silesia, A Silesia Supports A Munich, A St Petersburg Supports A Moscow, A Warsaw Hold.

Italy (Don Williams – dwilliam “of” A Marseilles – Gascony,

 F North Africa Supports F Spain(sc) - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Bounce*),

 F Spain(sc) - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Tyrolia - Munich (*Fails*),

 F Western Mediterranean Supports F Spain(sc) - Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of” Remove F Aegean Sea..

 A Armenia Supports A Sevastopol, F Black Sea Supports A Sevastopol, A Bulgaria Supports A Rumania,

 A Rumania Supports A Galicia, A Sevastopol Supports A Ukraine, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Gulf of Lyon.


The DIAS Fails but is Re-proposed, Please Vote!  NVR=No

Fall 1914 Deadline is December 28th at 7:00am my time




ROME – LONDON:  Wouldn’t It Be Nice … if you could actually hold onto Spain in Fall 1914?  Enjoy the Spanish wine, women and song … we’ll be back.


CALIFORNIA to TEXAS:  He can’t hold it … or can he?


MR T ITALIAN PARTISANS to AUSTRIAN RINGLEADER AND TURKISH CO-CONSPIRATOR:  I love it when a plan comes together … buon’ fatto, ragazzi!


Constantinople-London: Tactics, tactics ... tsk tsk.


ITALY to TEXAS:  That’s “Well done, boys!” to you.


ITALO-TURKISH ADMIRALTY to ENGLISH ADMIRALTY:  Might does not always make right … superior numbers be damned!


A TYA – A MUN: Four … three … two … stalemate in one move.


Austria to England:  If you didn't vote the draw, you might as well.  You aren't getting 18 and, if all goes according to the plan, ITA now have a solid stalemate line that can keep you from 18 as long as we stick together.  And we plan to stick together.


ROME to LONDON:  You really should have honored the deal you made with us way back when Italian warships were in the English Channel.  Really. 


ITALIA ad INGLATERRA:  Exceptionally well fought, mon ami, mais c’est tout.




Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, F 10


Austria (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” NMR! A Berlin, A Bohemia, A Munich,

 A Piedmont, A Prussia, F Rome, A Rumania, A Serbia, A Silesia, A Tyrolia all Hold.

England (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 A Finland Supports F St Petersburg(nc), A Gascony Supports A Burgundy – Marseilles,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Western Mediterranean, F Norway - North Sea, F St Petersburg(nc) Hold,

 F North Africa Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Western Mediterranean (*Cut*).

France (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 ”of” F Portugal Unordered.

Germany (William Wood – wxmanwill “of”  A Burgundy – Marseilles, A Kiel Hold,

 A Ruhr Supports A Kiel.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” Retreat A St Petersburg - Livonia..

 F Aegean Sea - Ionian Sea, F Black Sea - Bulgaria(ec), F Greece Supports F Black Sea - Bulgaria(ec),

 F Ionian Sea - Tyrrhenian Sea, A Livonia - St Petersburg (*Fails*), A Marseilles Supports F Spain(sc)

 (*Disbanded*), A Moscow Supports A Livonia - St Petersburg, F Naples Supports F Ionian Sea - Tyrrhenian Sea,

 F Spain(sc) Supports F Portugal - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Void*), F Tunis - North Africa (*Fails*),

 F Tyrrhenian Sea - Gulf of Lyon, A Ukraine - Sevastopol.


Would Kevin Tighe (tigheman “of” Standby for Austria?

Winter 1910/Spring 1911 is December 28th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Berlin, Budapest, Munich, Rome, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Venice, Vienna, Warsaw=10, Even

England:          Brest, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, Paris, St Petersburg, Sweden=8, Build 1

France:            Portugal=1, Even

Germany:         Belgium, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles=5, Build 2 (No Room)

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Naples, Sevastopol, Smyrna,

Spain, Tunis=10, Remove 1




PRIME MINISTER TO ALL: Back! Back with you, into the sea with you!  For England, Harry & St. George!!!!!! Once more unto the breach DEAR FRIENDS ONCE MORE!

(BOOB to PHILIP): Nice guessing, let's see how this guess works?

PRIME MINISTER TO TURKEY AND AUSTRIA: If I'm so hapless, how come you can't get into the Atlantic, or indeed hold on to St. Petersburg? Admit it, you're caught in a stalemate. I will have my defences in place to frustrate and deny you any further progress. YOU SHALL NOT PASS.

PRIME MINISTER TO GERMANY: Good to have you back. Now let's get these bums off the lawn of the Reichstag...



 “Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse



Billy Ray Valentine: Missing in action.  Again.


Duke of York: No purchases or sales.


Smaug the Dragon: Sells 500 Marks.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Crowns and 500 Piastres.  Buys 9910 Francs.


Baron Wuffet: No activity, all currency traders take a holiday.


Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Lumber shortage, no activity.


VAIONT Enterprises: Sells 500 Piastres.  Buys 463 Crowns.


Insider Trading LLC: Sells 500 Crowns, 500 Pounds.  Buys 765 Piastres.


Bourse Master: Chooses to sit and watch the ticker tape.


Next Bourse Deadline is December 27th at 7:00pm my time




Rothschild to the Duke of Earl: You say "Vive la France!" or ¡Viva Francia!


Smaug the Magnificent, for once, has nothing to say. Being fired by Lord Sugar has shattered his self confidence and his feelings of self worth.




Diplomacy “Just a Taste” 2009C, W 07/S 08


Austria (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” F Greece Supports A Serbia - Bulgaria (*Cut*),

 A Serbia - Bulgaria.

France (Paraic Reddington - ): Retreats F Ionian Sea – Albania..

 Build A Paris.. F Albania - Greece (*Fails*), F Apulia Supports F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Burgundy Hold,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Hold, f Naples - Ionian Sea, F North Atlantic Ocean Hold, A Paris Hold, A Piedmont – Venice,

 F Tunis Supports F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Tyrolia Supports A Venice – Trieste, 

 F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Venice – Trieste, A Yorkshire Hold.

Germany (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” Build A Berlin, A Munich..

 F Barents Sea Supports F Norway - Norwegian Sea, A Berlin – Prussia, A Bohemia – Silesia,

 A Budapest Supports A Trieste – Serbia, A Galicia Supports A Warsaw – Ukraine, A Livonia – Moscow,

 A Moscow – Sevastopol, A Munich Hold, F Norway - Norwegian Sea,

 A Rumania Supports A Moscow – Sevastopol, F St Petersburg(sc) – Livonia, A Trieste – Serbia,

 A Vienna – Bohemia, A Warsaw - Ukraine.

Turkey (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” F Aegean Sea Supports F Eastern Mediterranean –

 Ionian Sea, F Eastern Mediterranean - Ionian Sea (*Fails*),

 F Ionian Sea - Albania (*Dislodged*, retreat to Adriatic Sea or OTB),

 A Sevastopol Hold (*Dislodged*, retreat to Armenia or OTB).


Fall 1908 deadline is December 28th at 7:00am my time



F to A - Mork calling Orsen, come in Orsen!

F to G - Don't go getting greedy! There's plenty of thanksgiving Turkey for everyone!!

Turkey -> France:  As you can see, all of my units are heading west to stop the French threat.  Alas, there will be none left to stop the German onslaught!  But fear not, I'm sure your loyal ally will stop at 17 centers, and not rob you of a shared victory....


Kaiser Wilhelm to Sultan: I don't suppose you'd care to consider surrender?

G to F: I know! I keep telling them it's the OTHER way round, but do they listen? I've had to get the cleaners in to hoover up the ashes and wipe off the windows, doors and walls. I won't even mention the chimneys.... And it doesn't look good that my men are so dumb that they don't know the difference!


F to T - Shhh, icksnay on the abbstay!!

F to F - The voices in my head tell me to burn things.


White Press Diplomacy “Creepshow” 2009D, F 06


Austria (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of” A Piedmont Supports A Tyrolia - Venice (*Void*).

England (Chuy Cronin – chuykdc_92 “of” NMR! Disband F Norway.. F Barents Sea,

 F Denmark, F North Sea, A Yorkshire all Hold.

France (Michael Cronin – mfmcronin “of” A Belgium Supports A Burgundy – Ruhr,

 A Burgundy – Ruhr, F English Channel Supports A Belgium, A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Fails*),

 A Munich Supports A Silesia - Berlin (*Dislodged*, retreat to Burgundy or OTB), A Silesia - Berlin (*Disbanded*).

Germany (Pat Vogelsang – godawgsgo33 “of” Retreat A Munich - Ruhr..

 A Berlin Supports A Ruhr - Munich (*Cut*), F Holland - North Sea (*Fails*), A Kiel Supports A Ruhr – Munich,

 A Ruhr - Munich.

Italy (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” Retreat A Livonia - Prussia.. A Apulia Hold,

 A Prussia - Livonia (*Fails*).

Russia (Kevin Wilson - ckevinw “of” A Bohemia Supports A Ruhr – Munich,

 A Galicia – Silesia, A Livonia - Prussia (*Fails*), F Norway – Sweden, F Sevastopol – Rumania,

 F St Petersburg(nc) Hold, A Tyrolia Supports A Bohemia, A Warsaw Supports A Galicia - Silesia.

Turkey (Larry Cronin – lcroninmd “of” A Bulgaria S Pax Cronini (Holds),

 F Aegean Sea S Pax Cronini (Holds), F Aegean Sea Hold, F Ionian Sea - Tunis (*Bounce*),

 F Naples Supports A Rome, A Rome Supports F Venice, A Trieste Supports F Venice,

 F Tyrrhenian Sea - Tunis (*Bounce*).


Now Proposed – E/F/R/T Draw.  Please vote!  NVR=No

Would Paul Milewski (paul.milewski “of” standby for England?

A/W 06/Spring 07 Deadline is December 28th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            None=0, OUT!

England:          Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway=5, Build 1

France:            Belgium, Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=6, Build 1 or 2

Germany:         Berlin, Holland, Kiel, Munich=4, Even

Italy:                Tunis=1, Remove 1

Russia:             Budapest, Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Vienna, Warsaw=8, Even

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Naples, Rome, Serbia, Smyrna, Trieste,

Venice=10, Build 2






TURIN: Having re-established the ancient and honorable Kingdom of Piedmont, the Hapsburg war effort has expended its last gasp. Long live the Emperor!!


France: Let’s end this. Vote for the 4 way draw between F/E/R/T or die.


Turkey to World:  I propose and vote yes on Four way draw R/T/F/E. Do it and nobody gets hurt.  I am hoping all will send in this request and we can have peace by Christmas, even if only you Infidels practice it.



Diplomacy “Bellicus” from Strange Meeting, Spring 1911

Concession to Russia Passes!


Any End-Game Statements?  Submit for Next Issue!




Turkey: Congratulations to Russia on a well played game




Black Press Gunboat, “Maple Sugar,” 2009Crb32, F 08


Austria: A Apulia Supports A Tyrolia – Venice, A Budapest Supports F Rumania (*Ordered to Move*),

 A Silesia - Bohemia (*Fails*), A Trieste - Vienna (*Bounce*), A Tyrolia - Venice.

England: Retreat F Norwegian Sea - Edinburgh.. F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea (*Fails*),

 F Western Mediterranean Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - North Africa (*Void*).

France: NMR! F Tunis Unordered.

Germany: NMR!  A Berlin, A Bohemia, A Marseilles, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Munich, F North Sea, A Piedmont,

 A Prussia, F Skagerrak, A Spain, F Sweden all Hold.

Italy: F Naples Supports A Rome (*Cut*), A Rome Supports F Naples.

Russia: A Galicia - Vienna (*Bounce*), F Norway Hold, F Norwegian Sea Supports F Norway (*Cut*),

 F Sevastopol Hold, A Ukraine - Warsaw (*Fails*), A Warsaw - Prussia (*Fails*).

Turkey: F Aegean Sea – Constantinople, A Bulgaria – Serbia, F Greece - Aegean Sea,

 F Ionian Sea - Naples (*Fails*), F Rumania - Sevastopol (*Fails*), A Smyrna - Armenia.


A Concession to Germany is Proposed – Please Vote!

W 08/S 09 Deadline is December 28th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart

Austria:            Budapest, Trieste, Venice, Vienna=4, Remove 1

England:          Edinburgh, Liverpool=2, Even

France:            Tunis=1, Even

Germany:         Belgium, Berlin, Brest, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, London, Marseilles, Munich, Paris,

Portugal, Spain, Sweden=13, Build 2 (Room for 1)

Italy:                Naples, Rome=2, Even

Russia:             Moscow, Norway, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Warsaw=5, Remove 1

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Rumania, Serbia, Smyrna=7, Build 1



England -> Germany: If you are in Naf, I shall support you into Tun in the spring.

Turkey -> Russia: Bet you're feelin' a tad silly right now...


T => R: With a G F in Swe I would rather concentrate my forces in the north than to resume the hostilities around the BLA.


AH-GM: As Russia's forces are not in a position to stop German attacks from north and west and because England is a German Toady; AH calls for a concession to Germany vote .


AH-T: If you took Ser then then expect support from Bud for attack on Rum if required and possible. AH moved Try-Ven.


R-A: I am trying to defend your territory by bouncing him out of Vienna this is not an attack.


R-World except Germany: free peoples of Europe let’s kick Kaiser patooty and forget our childish games. (Especially you Turkey)


T => G: You are right with your assessment of the Tsar's strategic abilities. While at war with A he attacked me again and on top of this invited you to stab him.




Graustark Game 2002D, F 18


England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” F Barents Sea Hold, F Clyde Hold,

 F London Hold, A Moscow Supports A St Petersburg, F Norway Hold, A St Petersburg Supports A Moscow.

France (Andy Lischett – andy “of” F Aegean Sea - Smyrna (*Bounce*),

 F Brest - English Channel, A Bulgaria Supports A Serbia, F Constantinople Supports A Armenia – Ankara,

 F Ionian Sea Hold, A Marseilles – Burgundy, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea, A Naples – Rome,

 A Paris – Picardy, A Piedmont – Venice, A Serbia Supports A Trieste, A Trieste Supports A Serbia,

 F Tunis - Western Mediterranean, F Western Mediterranean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean.
Germany (Michael Quirk – michaelpquirk “of”
A Armenia – Ankara,

 F Baltic Sea - Sweden (*Bounce*), A Budapest Supports A Vienna, A Galicia Supports A Budapest,

 F Gulf of Bothnia - Sweden (*Bounce*), A Munich Hold, A Rumania Supports A Budapest,

 A Sevastopol Supports A Rumania, A Ukraine Supports A Rumania, A Vienna Supports A Budapest,

 A Warsaw Supports A Ukraine.

Russia (Harley Jordanharleyj “of” A Ankara - Smyrna (*Disbanded*).


All Draws Fail.  Now Proposed – E/F/G Draw.  Please Vote!

W 18/S 19 Deadline is December 28th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


England:          Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Moscow, Norway, St Petersburg=6, Even

France:            Belgium, Brest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Marseilles, Naples, Paris,

Portugal, Rome, Serbia, Smyrna, Spain, Trieste, Tunis, Venice=16, Build 2

Germany:         Ankara, Berlin, Budapest, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich, Rumania, Sevastopol,

Sweden, Vienna, Warsaw=12, Build 1

Russia:             None=0, OUT!



None…you guys suck.


Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, F 08


Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” A Bohemia Supports A Silesia – Galicia,

 A Galicia – Budapest, F Greece - Bulgaria(sc) (*Dislodged*, retreat to Albania or Ionian Sea or OTB),

 A Silesia – Galicia, A Tyrolia – Trieste, A Vienna Supports A Galicia - Budapest.

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of”

 F Brest Supports F Irish Sea - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Cut*), F English Channel Supports F Brest,

 F Irish Sea - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), F North Atlantic Ocean Supports F Irish Sea - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F Norway Supports F St Petersburg(nc), A Paris - Gascony (*Bounce*), F St Petersburg(nc) Supports F Norway.

France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” F Portugal Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Germany (Harley Jordanharleyj “of” A Berlin Supports A Munich,

 A Burgundy Supports A Paris – Gascony, A Kiel Supports A Munich, F Livonia - Baltic Sea,

 A Munich Supports A Prussia – Silesia, A Prussia - Silesia.

Italy (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” Disbands A Bulgaria.. F Gascony - Brest (*Fails*),

 A Marseilles Supports A Spain – Gascony, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F Gascony - Brest (*Cut*),

F North Africa Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Spain - Gascony (*Bounce*),

 F Western Mediterranean Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Russia (John Biehl – jerbil “of” F Aegean Sea Supports A Bulgaria – Greece, A Bulgaria – Greece,

 A Moscow – Livonia, A Rumania – Bulgaria, A Ukraine Supports A Warsaw,

 A Warsaw Supports A Moscow - Livonia.


A/E/G/I/R Draw Fails

Winter 08/Spring 09 Deadline is December 28th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna=5, Even or Remove 1

England:          Belgium, Brest, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, Paris, St Petersburg=8, Build 1

France:            Portugal=1, Even

Germany:         Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich, Sweden=6, Even

Italy:                Marseilles, Naples, Rome, Spain, Tunis, Venice=6, Even

Russia:             Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Sevastopol, Smyrna, Warsaw=8, Build 2



Boob to Harley: Now you too?



Black Press Gunboat, “Scream” 2010Brb32, Fall 1901


Austria: A Serbia - Budapest (*Bounce*), F Trieste Hold, A Tyrolia - Vienna.

England: F English Channel – Belgium, F North Sea Convoys A Yorkshire – Norway, A Yorkshire - Norway.

France: F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea, A Paris – Brest, A Spain Hold.

Germany: F Denmark Supports F Gulf of Bothnia – Sweden, A Kiel – Holland, A Munich - Ruhr.

Italy: A Apulia – Tunis, F Ionian Sea Convoys A Apulia – Tunis, A Venice Hold.

Russia: A Galicia - Budapest (*Bounce*), F Gulf of Bothnia – Sweden,

 F Sevastopol Supports A Ukraine – Rumania, A Ukraine - Rumania.

Turkey: F Ankara - Constantinople (*Fails*), A Bulgaria - Serbia (*Fails*), A Constantinople - Bulgaria (*Fails*).


Winter 1901/Spring 1902 Deadline is December 28th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart:


Austria:            Budapest, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna=4, Build 1

England:          Belgium, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway=5, Build 2

France:            Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Spain=4, Build 1

Germany:         Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich=5, Build 2

Italy:                Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice=4, Build 1

Russia:             Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Warsaw=6, Build 2

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Smyrna=4, Build 1

Unowned:        Greece, Portugal.




Captain’s log supplemental. The Enterprise, the Excelsior and a troop transport have been taken to an alternate universe. I do not believe that this is the mirror universe because the universal translator does not work here. We tried to send a friendship message to our alien neighbors but Mr.Spock says we might be transmitting gibberish.

What’s worse the Excelsior looks like it has ventured into an alien neutral zone. Mr.Sulu has agreed to move out and the Excelsior and the Enterprise have located 2 m-class planets that we can use to resupply our dilithyum and maybe produce a couple of star ships...

ENGLAND TO FRANCE; i don't want to go to war with france.i'm suggesting that we both stay out of the english channel. let me know...


ITALY TO TURKEY; It looks like Russia and AustriaHungry are going to team up against you.
I'm requesting a T/I allience.


Paris-London: OK, hate and war forever.

Marseilles-Rome: Love and peace. Let us coexist.

Rome - Vienna: No dots for you!


Berlin to All: Stop the Juggernaut tide from East!!!

A to R: Please be gentle.

Turkey to Russia: My good sir. I apologise for my fleet's recent foray into the Black Sea. Their compasses have been replaced and they have acquired their new headings. The EG is the fear for you. May I recommend you fortify your northern position?

Rome - Berlin: Ribbit

Vienna-Italy: Still want your dots.

Rome-Kiel: Here I come to get my Danish!


Germany to France: Now that we got that out of the way, lets focus on the real enemy.


Russia to Germany: If you don't bounce me in Sweden, I am sure we can work something out regarding that stupid Blue Man Group.


Italy to Turkey: I think we can cause a lot of red by eliminating the RED.


Austria to ALL: HELP!!


Germany-England: Nice play. Great start for England. You probably won the whole thing with those moves.


France to England: That was uncalled for...why did you have to go and ruin a good thing. Now what do I do?


England to France: Not to worry. I only moved to my Channel to have a shot at Belgium. I'm gone. Never to return. I'm going north.


Russia to Turkey: Can we work this out? I see some nice pickings for both of us to the west.


Turkey to Russia: Want to split the Balkans, the you go north while I go south?


Turkey to Italy: How would you like to divide Austria and the Balkans? If we make quick work we can go on the better things.


(Moscow) - "What in the name of Mikhail Baryshikov is going on?!?!!"  The Czar shook his papers in the secretary's face.  "Did I or did I not issue specific orders?!"


"You did, your Worshipfullness."  The secretary's head moved up & down so fast it resembled one of those damned bobble-heads.  "But perhaps they received last minute information that necessitated a sudden change of plan."


"Find out!  I want answers!"


"Yes, your Grandship."  The secretary bowed deeply as he walked backwards from the Imperial Throne Room.  As the massive doors closed, he turned and walked away.  "Great, just great!  Now I've got to write up some nonsense for that pompous ass.  There goes my weekend!"



By Popular Demand


Credit goes to Ryk Downes, I believe, for inventing this.  The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer.  Your score for this answer will be doubled.  In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.  Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds.  A prize will be awarded to the winner.  Research is permitted!


Round 4 Categories

1. An extinct species.

2. A serial killer (real name or nickname will be considered the same answer).

3. A Canadian province.

4. A grocery store chain.

5. An island nation.


Selected Comments By Category:


SpeciesPer Westling “The Dodo is possibly the most famous one. Depressing that so many species are extinct, and that so many risk to become extinct in the near future.”  Philip Murphy “The Dodo was a very odd creature which was as ugly as anything.”  Robin ap Cynan “I did think of T Rex or Sabre Tooth Tiger- but relented.”


Serial Killer – Dane Maslen “Having taken the trouble to consider only American serial killers, I shall be most upset if 'Jack the Ripper' proves a popular answer.”  Marc Ellinger “Once again so many options...all of them equally evil...but none quite as infamous.”  Per Westling “My first choice was Alexander Pichushkin, but I guess an american would got more votes. Found an intersting page on this subject:

Province – Kevin Tighe “Had my honeymoon in Victoria; beautiful city.”


Grocery Store – Brad Wilson “wanted to say Piggly Wiggly just to say "Piggly Wiggly" but it is not big enough, nor is Chicago's immortal Moo and Oink.”  Marc Ellinger “Now this is really tough, since it depends on where you are. I think Safeway's are national, but most are regional chains.”

IslandDane Maslen “As the inhabitant of an island nation, I felt it incumbent upon me to go for the 'obvious' answer even though I suspect Americans will probably opt for something in the Caribbean.  The only snag is that if other players do go for this answer, they (even if they are British) are likely to get it wrong in some way because of the UK's rather bizarre make-up...

The full name of the sovereign state in which I live is 'The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland'.  This is usually shortened to 'the United Kingdom' or 'the UK'.  'Britain' is also considered a synonym for it, which is why we can all be called 'British'.  It is rather confusing that 'Britain' refers to an entity larger than 'Great Britain', and many people incorrectly use the term 'Great Britain' when they mean 'the United Kingdom'.  Great Britain actually consists of just England, Wales and Scotland.  If only we'd given the whole of Ireland independence, we could have eliminated much of the confusion surrounding what our nation is called!  Referring to the UK as 'England' is not only incorrect, but also likely to get one lynched by any Scots, Welsh or Northern Irish within earshot.” 
Marc Ellinger “Island nation on its own continent!!”  Per Westling “First thought was Iceland, and Indonesia is the largest island nation, population-wise. But I go for the most important one.”  Kevin Tighe “My first thought was Malta, but that’s wrong.”  Philip Murphy “Ireland is somewhat of a banana republic right now, sadly.”  Robin ap Cynan “Yes, I know Australia is bigger than the UK.”


Congratulations to Rick Desper for getting 64 out of a possible 65 points!



Round 5 Categories – Deadline is December 28th at 7:00am my time

1. A prehistoric era.

2. A medication taken for pain.

3. A Knight of the Round Table

4. A magazine that generally only women buy.

5. A Diplomacy power.




Eternal Sunshine Movie Quote Contest


There are ten rounds of movie quotes, and each round consists of ten quotes.  Anyone may enter at any point. If you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds.  A prize will be awarded to the winner – and it might be a very good prize!  Research is not permitted!  That means NO RESEARCH OF ANY KIND, not just no searches for the quotes themselves.  The only legal “research” is watching movies to try and locate quotes.  Try to avoid the temptation to Google the quotes.  I’m doing many of the quotes from memory anyway, so you won’t necessarily be able to find them by direct search…so don’t try!  Each round will also contain one bonus question, asking what the ten movies being quoted have in common.  The player with the most correct answers each round gets 3 points, 2nd place gets 2 points, and 3rd place gets 1 point.  In the event of ties, multiple players get the points (if three players tie for first, they EACH get 3 points).  High score at the end of ten rounds wins the game, and a prize (unless you cheated).  If there’s enough participation I may give a prize for 2nd and maybe even 3rd place overall too.  Quotes may contain more than one person speaking (in other words, part of a scene with more than one character talking).  In those instances, quotes will separate the characters speaking.  I also plan on making the 10th round worth double points.


Round Two


#1. I've taken the liberty of anticipating your condition. I have brought you orange juice, coffee, and aspirins. Or do you need to throw up?  Arthur, Correct – JM, RD, PR, KT, JB, AY.  American Spendor – HT.


#2. Listen, kid. Are you gonna try and let that old Gulch heifer try and buffalo ya'? She ain't nothing to be afraid of. Have a little courage, that's all.  The Wizard of Oz, Correct – JM, KT, JB.  City Slickers – RD, PR.


#3. What's the Czech for "Do you love him"?  Once.  Sophie’s Choice – RD.  Unbearable Lightness of Being – KT.


#4. If he'd just pay me what he's spending to make me stop robbing him, I'd stop robbing him. You probably inherited every penny you got!  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Correct – RD, JM, AL, PR, JB


#5. I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?  Working Girl, Correct – PR, HT, KT.  The Apartment – JM.  Klute – RD.


#6. You and me and booze - a threesome. You and I were a couple of drunks on the sea of booze, and the boat sank.  Days of Wine and Roses, Correct – JM, KT.  Cat on a Hot Tin Roof – RD.  Leaving Las Vegas – PR.  Breakfast at Tiffany’s – JB.


#7. We've got a fire, and if it was caused by anything you did I'm going to hang you out to dry, then I'm going to hang you.  The Towering Inferno, Correct – RD, PR, JB.  Hellfighters – JM.  Backdraft – KT.


#8. This is Madeleine. She's saying how during the French Revolution, a mob set fire to her house, and her mother died, saving her.  Philadelphia.  Amadeus – JM.  All About Eve – RD.  Les Miserables – KT.  Blazing Saddles – AY.


#9. If you ever get hungry, our garden back home is full of snails. We tried everything to get rid of them. We never thought of a Frenchman!  The Man Who Knew Too Much.  Annie Hall – JM.  Murder on the Orient Express – RD.


#10. I want to marry a pilot. I want to live my life overseas. The wife of an aviator.  An Officer and a Gentleman, Correct – RD, JM, JB.  The Right Stuff – PR.  Aviator – KT.


Bonus: What do all these films have in common? Each won the Best Original Song Academy Award, Correct - JB.  Won Best Supporting Actor – RD.  Same Director – JM. All Involve Paul Newman – PR.  Something is stolen as a plot device – KT.


Scores For This Round: Jim Burgess [JB] – 6, Jack McHugh [JM] – 5, Rick Desper [RD] – 4, Paraic Reddington [PR] – 4, Kevin Tighe [KT] – 4, Andy Lischett [AL] – 1, Heather Taylor [HT] – 1, Andy York [AY] - 1. 


Total Game Points: Jim Burgess – 5; Rick Desper – 4; Jack McHugh – 3; Paraic Reddington – 2; Kevin Tighe - 1.


Round Three


#1. You do realize you may be the only person at this party with artificial sideburns?


#2. This isn't America, Jack. This is L.A.


#3. California, Florida, whatever. Either way, your pale ass is getting a tan.


#4. If a man stands in a forest, with no woman around, is he still wrong?


#5. And you wouldn't be so brave if you'd ever smelled the Bog of Eternal Stench.


#6. There has to be a mathematical explanation for how bad that tie is.


#7. You are probably wondering why I keep appearing in your memories, John. It is because I have inserted myself into them.


#8. If people would just look at the paintings, I don't think they would have any trouble enjoying them. It's like looking at a bed of flowers: you don't tear your hair out over what it means.


#9. My professors would kill me for even thinking this, but in her own strange way, Emma Bovary is a feminist.


#10. Perhaps you did not come here to live like a Gypsy, but I did not come here to work like an Arab.


Bonus: What do all these films have in common?


Deadline for your answers to Round 3: December 28th at 7:00am my time




General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:  December 28th, 2010 at 7:00am my time.  See You Then!