Eternal Sunshine #54

July 2011

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX  75149

Email: doug of or diplomacyworld of

On the web at – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at  Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at  Also remember to check out for official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his available merchandise!  Links to many of the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button in the main menu of the Whining Kent Pigs website.  Or go to where women can learn all the secrets of how a man’s mind works, and why they act the way they do.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata.  We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at, and a Facebook group at!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Quote Of The Month“I can't remember anything without you.” (Joel in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)


Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine actively planning for the zombie apocalypse.  I’m not sure when it’s coming…in fact, I am not even sure what we’re doing to prepare for it.  Heather is in charge of all that.  But rest assured we ARE preparing, and the zine should continue as long as some method of communication remains open.


I feel so worn out lately, I’m not sure what to say in this space.  Heather’s been looking for work, and currently volunteers at the Dallas Arboretum.  Yes, really…the woman who “hates outside” volunteers there.  The catch is she volunteers in the gift shop.  So she’s inside.


Heather is also taking a pottery class on Saturdays, which she seems to really be enjoying.  She comes home covered in clay anyway, if that’s any indication.  Or maybe she’s just clumsy?  Well, in Heather’s case, that’s just a coincidence.


In zine news, I’d really like to get a few more people signed up for Balkan Wars.  Besides that, the obligatory Diplomacy opening remains.  This issue finds the last set of Movie Quotes, the first computation of the Eternal Sunshine Index, the first turn of Lifeboat (with the expected result), and the first turn of By Almost Popular Demand.  I’m quite happy with the way that has turned out; nobody knows whether to play it straight, use reverse psychology, or exactly what strategy will work.


I still need some nominations for future interviews.  It helps if the person you nominate is someone you know, so you can help me get in touch with them!  Remember, they don’t have to be famous, or involved in the performing arts.  They can be everyday people with typical jobs.  I think every individual has a few good stories to tell.  Except me, obviously.


Oh well, another month come and gone.  I hope everybody finds something in this issue to enjoy.  If not…well, you get what you pay for, right?  See you in August!


Playlist: Sibling Rivalry – The Smothers Brothers; Elton John – Elton John; The Kids Are Alright – The Who; Empty Sky – Elton John; The Near Demise of the High-Wire Dancer – Antje Duvekot.



Hypothetical of the Month


Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1 – You see someone shoplifting in the neighborhood grocery.  Do you tell the owner?  #2 – You are exhausted and planning to relax at a movie.  Friends need a babysitter so they can attend a meeting.  Do you babysit?


Melinda Holley - #1 – Okay, I'm assuming I see this occurring in the store.  I'd walk over to the person and tell them I saw them shoplifting and they have the opportunity to put the item back and leave.  'Course with my luck they'd (1) convince me they're stealing because they have nothing to eat & I wind up paying for their groceries; or (2) they're part of a gang and their backup shows up.


#2 - Depends on the meeting, I suppose.  If this is their wine-tasting meeting (or something similar), no.  If it's an AA or support group type of meeting, yes.  Anything else would need a mental flip of the coin to make the choice.


Richard Walkerdine - #1that actually happened to me once when I saw a little old lady steal a light bulb. I did nothing, but if it wasn't a little old lady I would tell the manager.

#2 - I would agree to babysit, rent the DVD of the movie and watch it on TV once the baby was asleep.


John Biehl - #1 - Whether I said anything to the store owner would likely depend on my perception of the shoplifter - what is the 'age' of the shoplifter, what is their 'demeanor', ie: are they poorly dressed, unkempt looking (do they appear genuinely 'down and out'?). I likely would report a younger person - a teenager or anyone well-dressed who would appear to have the means to pay. I would certainly report a child who shoplifted 

since an adult is almost certainly directing them to do so.


#2 - I would 'babysit' an older child in this case, one who wouldn't need much supervision. I would decline to look after an infant or toddler or pre-schooler since they need a lot of attention and I am 'exhausted' and would probably just want to nod off. If I was exhausted I likely wouldn't want to see a movie since I'd be inclined to fall

asleep in a dark movie theatre.


Jack McHugh - #1 - Yes...why wouldn't I tell the owner? Shoplifting can put a store out of business and it increases everyone else's costs since the merchant must make up the cost


#2 - No, if I felt I was that tired I'd tell them the truth and says it would be bad for the child as well as me since I'd probably take out my exhaustion on their child and no child deserves that...


Rick Desper - #1 - Seems unlikely. Seems unlikely that I would notice somebody shoplifting.


#2 - Um, no. Me, babysit? Ha!


Tom Howell - #1 -Most likely. 


#2 - Depend on the kids.  I know some who are so spoiled and out of control, I would not under any circumstances.  The others, yes if we were their last resort.  We're so far out of town, their asking us to come in for babysitting would probably be their last resort.  Besides, most of our friends no longer have children of an

age needing to be minded.


Kevin Tighe - #1 - Generally yes, I tell the owner. I don't tell only if the person really really seems to need the food.


#2 - Yes, I babysit. I love kids even when I'm tired. We can watch a movie together, play a board game. I can lay on the floor and be a "mountain" for a toddler. We can make potato chip sandwiches - just tons of stuff for us to do.


Andy York - #1 - Depending on the individual who's shoplifting and what they are shoplifting, I might. However, in certain situations I might (loud enough for the shoplifter to hear) say to the cashier ringing up my purchase to "add that kid's Snicker's bar to my bill as a treat for him" or something similar.


#2 - This is something any parent who knows me would never consider asking me; and any parent who would ask a stranger to babysit has more problems in their life than missing a meeting. In short, this would never happen and the obvious answer if asked is a hearty laugh.


Phil Murphy - #1Absolutely. Theft is theft. You can't rationalise it by saying it's not your business. Someday it could be your shop, and your neighbour, and you would expect them to tell you.

I couldn't take responsibility for other people's kids when exhausted. It'd be foolish and irresponsible. I'd certainly help them find a babysitter, however, by calling people we both know and trust.


Per Westling - #1 - I heard a story of a 14 year old girl who spotted another girl (maybe 17) shoplifting in a store. The first girl stepped up to that girl, and played the role of a civilian cop, and convinced the other girl to give all stuff back, and stop doing that. The other girl was shocked, went home and have after that follow the "narrow path". I do not think I could play that good a role, so that is not an option. To answer your question: No, probably not.


#2 - I think I would be a bad choice as a baby sitter regardless... so I would try to persuade them to not choose me. But if they persist I would help out - always have hard to say no. If they decide to not choose me after all I would not go to that movie; would feel bad about it.


Amber Smith - #1 - I have had this before... yep I tell on them! heehee.


#2– Ah, No. pretty much b/c i'm a selfish bitch that likes sleep and don't like anybody's kids except my own. ..I'll volun-told my sister though :)


Don Williams - #1 - If I witnessed someone shoplifting I would absolutely report it, if I didn’t confront them directly myself. This isn’t hypothetical – I’ve done it twice.


#2 - If I’m tired and was planning on a movie, I would politely decline the opportunity to babysit. If I’m tired I’ve not going to be a good sitter anyway, and frankly I’m too old to feel guilty about this stuff anymore. Between my first and lasrt kids (I have three), I did the parenting of babies/children/teens for twenty-seven years. I regularly babysit my three year old grandson now. But only with prior scheduling. Different issue if it’s an emergency and not an unidentified meeting – then you have to step up, tired or not.


Heather Taylor - #1 – In 95% of the cases I would.  If they were an old person who looked like they couldn’t afford food and only shoplifting one thing, or someone who looked hard-up shoplifting baby food, I would hesitate.


#2 – No.  I don’t like kids anyway.


For Next Month (For the time being, I am selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises.  The word Scruples is also being used as a secret this issue).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: This month, we’re riding the bus!  #1 – A suspicious-looking stranger arrives at a bus stop in a downpour and stands where you have seen traffic splash pedestrians.  Do you volunteer a word of caution?  #2 – Someone gets on a city bus and does not have the fare.  Do you volunteer to pay?


The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews


We didn’t get out to see a SINGLE movie this month.  That’s two months in a row.  So, instead, I am giving you my award-winning “this movie SUCKS” ratings on some current releases, which I am awarding without having seen them.  Sometimes you don’t have to see them to know…especially when you’re me.


This Movie Sucks: Battle: Los Angeles; Fast Five; Green Lantern; Red Riding Hood; Something Borrowed; The Art of Getting By; Tree of Life (despite the never-ending critical praise); Tyler Perry’s Medea’s Big Happy Family.


Seen on DVD – Devil (C+, as far as horror films go this was rather tame and pretty boring, but seemed to end very quickly); Red (B, a fun comic adaptation, mainly due to the terrific cast).  Orphan (B, even with knowing the “twist” in advance, still sufficiently creepy).  Descent (C+, stupid ending but the movie wasn’t so bad).


DVDs We Couldn’t Fight Through – Jack Goes Boating, Stone.


100 Movies to See Before You Die

An Eternal Sunshine List Challenge


Yahoo Films (part of the Yahoo online pages) has posted two lists of movies “to see before you die.”  The first list was composed of mostly classic film choices, while the “modern” list was 100 films from 1990 onward.  You can find their lists at: and at  Some of these choices I agree with, and some I think are completely off the mark.  So I issued a challenge to each of you: Submit to me the 100 Movies to See Before You Die that would make your list.  The lists could be submitted all at once, or 10 films at a time.  Any comments on your choices (or future comments on the choices of other people) are encouraged.  After 10 issues I plan on publishing a complete list of all films included on any list, as well as a count of how many lists each appeared on. I am offering prizes: two of the respondents who submit a full complement of 100 movies (whether all at once or 10 per issue) will be selected at random for prizes.  So to win, all you have to do is play.


Next issue: The third set of 10 movies from each of you, and from me (more movies if you missed either of the previous rounds).  Please note: These films are not meant to be placed in order by you, from top to bottom, unless you want to do that for some reason.  


Jack McHugh:


i decided your category was too broad so i am going to send you subcategories of 10 movies until we hit the way i knew Brad would put Casablanca on his list---good scenes but it’s not even among Bogart’s top five movies (Treasure of Sierra Madre, To Have and To Have Not, The Caine Mutiny, The Harder They Fall and The Maltese Falcon are all better movies)


Top 10 buddy pics in no particular order:


1.    Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid--best of the Newman/Redford flicks.

2.    The Sunshine Boys--Matthau and Burns are hilarious as two old vaudeville actors who are brought back for one last performance but don't like each other.

3.    Stripes--Bill Murray and Harold Ramos are a great team.

4.    Thelma & Louise--Gina Davis and Susan Sarandon are wonderful together.

5.    Tommie Boy--Chris Farley and David Spade were made for each other--shades of Laural and Hardy.

6.    A Day at the Races--the Marx Brothers and horses, 'nuff said.

7.    The Music Box--speaking of Laurel and Hardy here is my favorite short.

8.    Rio Bravo--John Wayne did a number of these Western themed buddy pictures. The one is my personal favorite.

9.    The Searchers--another classic John Wayne buddy picture..this one with Jeffery Hunter who many of you will know as the original Captain Kirk in the Star Trek series pilot.

10.  Defiant Ones--Sidney Poitier and Tony Curtis are fantastic as escaped convicts chained together


Paraic Reddington:


Bonnie and Clyde


Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid


Citizen Kane

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Dog Day Afternoon

Double Indemnity

Dr. Strangelove

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial



Melinda Holley:


1 - Lion in Winter

2 - Gettysburg

3 - Lord of the Rings

(1 long movie divided into 3 parts *g*)

4 - Fried Green Tomatoes

5 - Secrets of the Divine Ya-Ya Sisterhood

6 - First Wives Club

7 - Salem's Lot

8 - The Notebook

9 - Witches of Eastwyck

10 - Steel Magnolias

Andy Lischett:


Now that I realize that these are movies to recommend, it's not so hard. Of course I'd STILL recommend Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry to someone who likes cars and Susan George.

I'm impressed by a lot of the movies picked, but not all. Dances With Wolves didn't make me happy and sad, it made me yawn. The same for Moullin Rouge and Brazil. And although Brad Wilson usually has great taste, Harold and Maude stinks. As does - I'm sorry, Doug - Fargo. I've held this in too long... I don't like the Coen brothers. Did my ESI just plummet?

I'm adding The General to my list of movies that I've wanted to see but haven't. I've only seen clips. Okay, ten more.

11. High Noon is a good Western, but Shane is better.
12. Dirty Harry - Good cop, great villain.
13. Carrie - Creepy, fun, sexy and I like Sissy Spacek (who goes on my Heartthrob list).
14. Dane Maslen picked the Pink Panther but I prefer A Shot in the Dark (I think. The one where Clouseau is carrying Elke Sommer to his bedroom and bangs her head on the doorframe).
15. Just like The Shawshank Redemption I avoided seeing The Silence of the Lambs for a long time because the subject and title were unappealing. Then I saw it on television one rainy afternoon and loved it.*
16. Bullitt is a so-so movie with the best car chase ever.
17. Greed is a great silent movie.
18. Moby Dick and, yes...
19. To Kill a Mockingbird. Gregory Peck is okay, but I wouldn't have thought he'd make two of my 100 recommendations.
20. The Great Escape - Lots of stars, lots of action. Not stupid.

There are a lot of movies that I should rewatch before recommending. 2001, Frenzy, The French Connection, In Cold Blood, Cape Fear (Gregory Peck again!), Frankenstein, The Longest Day, The Postman Always Rings Twice (a great book. Have I seen the original movie?), Dial M for Murder **, Goldfinger. Chinatown might make my list just for the style, rather than the story. Dracula is mostly hokey nowadays, but the shot under his castle where the camera pans left while Dracula - on the right of the shot and facing left - backs behind a pillar is chilling.
But for one scene, Patton would make my list. When Patton is standing on a hill overlooking Rommels's tanks advancing into his ambush and gleefully shouts "I read your book!" there are already tank tracks in the sand from a previous "take." That kind of thing bugs me.
Some movies aren't as good the second time as I remember: Star Wars and It Happened One Night, for example.

* Do you have any movies which you refuse to see because the book was so good that you don't want to spoil your images? For me there's Tess (from Tess of the D'Urbervilles). Even knowing that Nastasia Kinski played Tess bothers me.
** I just got back from the library with Postman and Dial M. I'll let you know if they go on my list.


John Biehl:


First 20 (since I missed first 10), in no particular order; 


The Shawshank Redemption

Citizen Kane

Lawrence of Arabia

All Quiet on the Western Front

The King of Hearts

The Lord of the Rings (trilogy)

Ben Hur

Schindler's List

2001: A Space Odyssey

Fahrenheit 451 (60's version)

Blade Runner


Back to the Future (trilogy)

Planet of the Apes (original)

North by Northwest

The 39 Steps (Richard Donat version)

Mutiny on the Bounty (Marlon Brando version)

Wizard of Oz

Miracle on 34th St (1947)

Enemy at the Gate (siege of Stalingrad)


My comments: All Quiet on the Western Front is the quintessential  anti-war film as powerful as when it was made back in the early 30's?,  in B&W as anything that has been made since - a must see, a classic top 10 of all time.  The King of Hearts (mid 60's) is a short anti-war movie set in WW1 in a town temporarily caught between the British & German lines where the inhabitants of an insane asylum come out and re-assume their previous lives in the town. Poignant and bitter-sweet. A gem not to be missed. My choice of a WW2 movie (Enemy at the Gate) over Saving Private Ryan is for the following - although both are loosely based on historical events 'Enemy' has a more impressive mano a mano ending. Unfortunately, 'Saving' degenerates into a phoney Hollywood shoot-out at its end which spoils an otherwise decent movie. My other wart to pick at is the Lord of the Rings two glaring failings - the idiot treatment of Goblins & Orcs (Goblins scrambling around like hordes of spiders? Come

on - how preposterous! And off-colour and even blue Orcs? The only colour mentioned for Orcs by Tolkien himself was black! In sum we get from the director a general uglifying and mutating of evil races (a la the continuing Hollywood disposition to try to make each subsequent movie monster(s) more ugly & frightful than what was in the last movie).


A trend that has been going on far too long to the detriment of effective horror set up sequences let alone effective plots - the two being properly intertwined to be really effective (see Hitchcock's The Birds or Pyscho, amongst other examples of truly effective horror). My other bitch about LoTR was the rediculous stream sequences that were supposed to represent the Anduin - a river similar more to the stature of the Mississippi! All that money and Jackson couldn't even get that right. In conclusion, I must say I needed the other submitters choices to refresh my memory on the various movies that have made a great impression on me. 100 movies is a tall order although I have yet to list many pre-60's choices or many comedy choices. It will be interesting to

see what movies get the most attention - which ones make most peoples lists.


Rick Desper:


1. Gosford Park - In my opinion, Robert Altman's best film. We not only have an excellent depiction of the class differences in England of the 20s-30s, and the usual Altman chatter bandied about by an excellent cast, we also have a very interesting murder mystery to boot. A film I can watch 3 times in a row and still find it compelling.


2. Kramer vs. Kramer - There are so few intelligent films that deal with the subject of divorce and its effect on kids. Of the top of my head, I cannot thinkk of any others. Dustin Hoffman is great and Meryl Streep is also brilliant in a smaller role.


3. The Princess Bride - You would think there would be more good films in the genre of comedy adventure/fantasy. And there are some. But The Princess Bride is positively brilliant in its story, cast, and dialogue. I'll put it another way: I don't think I know anybody who doesn't like this film.


4. Jaws - This will probably be the only Spielberg film I put on my list. Jaws is a uniquely scary horror film, and it ended up being so scary partly by accident. What happened is Spielberg had had a robot shark built, but they used it in salt water for some test footage and it shorted out. So Spielberg decided to shoot most of the shark footage from the perspective of the shark. I think even he was amazed at how well it worked. So many good scenes in this film - particularly memorable is the drinking scene with Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfus comparing scars.


5. Thelma & Louise - I'm including this film on the list because there are so few Hollywood films that feature strong female leads. (And I would say that this problem has gotten worse since the 90s.) The story isn't perfect, but the film's serious treatment of rape is something Hollywood needed.


6. The Godfather (& The Godfather II) - There is so much good to these films that I am reluctant to re-hash ground that so many others have gone over. A huge breakthrough for Al Pacino and, IMO, Marlon Brando's last, best role as Vito Corleone. (I'm less of a fan of his earlier work than a lot of film buffs are - not that he's bad, but I don't revere him quite as much as others do.) I think it's reasonable to consider these two films together to be one film, because they work well in that manner. Godfather II isn't your typical sequel.


7. Casablanca - I've been thinking about this one and trying to put my finger on what exactly sets it apart. Is it Bogart's cool, or the witty script? The unapologetic embrace of jingoism as an issue of good vs. evil? What strikes me about the film is how it gets away with exaggerated cliches because it is so sincere about what it is doing. What other film could have a bar filled with people singing the Marseillese?


8. A Fish Called Wanda - Another one of my favorite movies. One of the best ensemble comedies I can think of, and the screenplay by John Cleese is truly brilliant. The job Cleese did getting Kevin Kline to be so over-the-top is really incredible. And Jamie Lee Curtis is fabulous.


9. Ran - Kurosawa has done a lot of great films. Most film pundits would prefer Rashomon or one of his other early works, but I have a special fondness for Ran. It was my first Kurosawa film, and I saw it on the big screen, which it takes advantage of. It is visually spectacular. Also, I saw Ran long before I read/saw King Lear (and, to be honest, I prefer Ran over Lear). Ran is a nearly perfect tragedy, and it has great battle scenes!


10. Spirited Away - Hayao Miyazki's masterpiece is, in my opinion, the best animated film I've seen. Miyazaki brings a faerie tale to life in a a way that Hollywood has forgotten how to do. (Um, today's animated films from Hollywood are mostly crap. Pixar does great animation but their scripts are godawful.) ("Up" was good.)

When I try to describe why I like a film like Spirited Away, I find that my language skills are lacking. Spirited Away is fabulous in the old sense of the word - it represents a fable and presents a moral perspective on the world. Also, it brings an ethical sophistication years beyond the world of Shrek - we don't have Good vs. Evil, but rather an array of characters each of whom has strengths and flaws. There are villains, but even in an animated film, they are not cartoonish, but rather they are people absorbed by selfish bitterness. The film has a plot, but Miyazaki has enough confidence to vary between periods of great action and slower, reflective passages.


11. Inception - I'm influenced by the fact that it's on HBO right now, but this is still my favorite film of 2010.

Inception does what good sci-fi should do: it tackles new concepts in a way that hasn't been seen before, but maintains a strong human element to the story. DiCaprio is at the top of his game in this film, the script is terrific, and Chris Nolan's direction remains at the top of his profession today. (Why the Oscars continue to neglect his work is a mystery I cannot understand.)


12. The Third Man - including an Orson Welles film, though he wasn't the director or writer, but merely an actor. Here the writing is by Graham Greene, and the direction by Carol Reed. The scenes with Welles are terrific, especially the famous scene in the Ferris Wheel of Vienna. He does a terrific job mixing charm and amorality. I doubt I'll include Citizen Kane on this list: the film has little to recommend it outside its cinematography (which I concede was groundbreaking).


13. The Philadelphia Story - Including this film lets me bring in three of Hollywood's biggest stars: James Stewart, Katherine Hepburn, and Cary Grant. The script is witty, Hepburn is brilliant, and the plot, though largely nonsensical, passes muster for a period comedy, esp. given the acting.


14. 2001: A Space Odyssey - might as well include the most compelling science fiction film of all time. I find parts of this movie drag on a bit, but on the whole the story is neat and the film is visually extraordinary, given that it was done in the 1960s. Funny tidbit: 2001: A Space Odyssey was released the same year as Planet of the Apes. The latter film won the Oscar for best makeup. As Arthur C. Clarke has said, "I wondered, as loudly as possible, whether the judges had passed over 2001 because they thought we used real apes."


I suspect I'll include at least one more Kubrick film in this list. Two jump to mind.


15. Chinatown - it's going to be hard for me to remember which films I've already mentioned. Chinatown is my favorite detective film, with its classic LA film noir attitude, Jack Nicholson's brilliance, Faye Dunaway's troubled character, Walter Huston's villainy, and the revelation at the end.


16. Star Wars - Star Wars was the second blockbuster of the mid-70s (after Jaws) and the two of them really changed how studios thought about film releases. Big budget sci-fi became the rage. Star Wars (I'm not going to call it Episode IV) had a great story, strong actors, and introduced the world to The Force.


17. The Rules of the Game (La Regle du Jeu)- Jean Renoir's 1939 masterpiece depicting the bourgeois of France on the cusp of WWII. Roland Toutain's idealistic aviator stands in stark contrast to the cynical, scheming landed gentry.


18. Bull Durham - my favorite baseball movie.


19. Gone with the Wind - not my favorite movie, but I think it should be included on the list. Clark Gable is terrific and widely appreciated as the iconic Rhett Butler. Scarlett O'Hara is easy to hate, but I''ve come to appreciate the job Vivian Leigh did bringing her to the silver screen.


20. Pulp Fiction - before I forget. On the whole, my favorite film of the 90s, and the film that grabbed hold of public imagination more than any other in its era. "Royale with cheese!" "Check out the big brain on Brett!" etc. etc.


Dane Maslen:


Other readers' lists have reminded me of a few films that need adding to my list, but for the moment I'll continue dredging films from my own memory. The first few selections all have a political message in them. I guess one's appreciation of these films might well depend on to what extent one agrees with the political message.



The Killing Fields

Mississippi Burning

In the Heat of the Night

Fail-Safe - no fancy special effects, no expensive filming on location, no pointless action sequences, just a good plot and rising tension.


The Music Box - it'll only take 29 minutes to see this classic Laurel & Hardy short before you die, unless of course you watch it more than once.

Airplane - which would have been even better without the ridiculous Controller Jacobs character.

Life of Brian

Monty Python and the Holy Grail - I said I'd probably add more Python films to my list, so I might as well get them out of the way now to pad this contribution out to ten films. I suspect that next issue I'll just be listing ones that other people have already mentioned.


Tom Howell:


Lady in the Dunes

The Man Who Planted Trees ( short animated film )

12 Angry Men

Citizen Kane - I've not seen this -- yet.  Someday.


Kevin Tighe:


These are movies that tweak our reality juuuu-st a bit.


Brazil - DeNiro is funny, Michael Palin is scary.

Being John Malkovich - halfway through I still had no idea what would happen next.

Night of the Living Dead ('68) - The Creature Features host told me to turn out all the lights, especially if alone. I never forgave him.

Donnie Darko - See it, just see it. It's a Mad World.

Wicker Man('73!) - She's not going to do that. Oh, god, she is! Stay away from the remake.

12 Monkees - Brad Pitt is actually good.

Warriors - Can . . . You . . . Dig it!

Dogma - They had me at "Buddy Christ".

Coraline - Nothing childish about it.

Pleasantville - Great melding of story and cinematography.


Paul Kent:


Hunting Humans

Citizen Kane

Silent Night Deadly Night

The Evil Dead

Blue Velvet

2001 A Space Odyssey

Apocalypse Now

Lawrence of Arabia

Meetings With Remarkable Men

Yellow Submarine


Heather Taylor:


Shawshank Redemption


Harold and Maude

Stealing Heaven ('88)

Steel Magnolias

An Affair to Remember

Shelter Dogs

Away We Go

A Chorus Line

Heavenly Creatures

Douglas Kent:



Moulin Rouge

High Plains Drifter


She's Having a Baby


Play it Again Sam

Being There

American Beauty

The Maltese Falcon


Phil Murphy:


1. A Bridge too Far - This war epic is, in my view, the best war film I have ever seen.

2. V for Vendetta - while not a patch on the graphic novel, it is still a very very fine film. The anarchist 'V' plots revenge on a neo-Fascist Britain. Stephen Fry's cameo is a highlight.

3. Clerks - an acquired taste but Kevin Smith's original low budget film is excellent and tells the story of Dante's life as a store clerk very well. Wicked humor.

4. Invictus - Morgan Freeman plays Nelson Mandela in this biopic which retells his encounter with South African rugby player Francois Pienaar (Matt Damon) and the role of the 1994 Rugby World Cup in fostering reconcilitation in post-Apartheid South Africa.

5. Senna - This recently released documentary is haunting - it shows Ayrton Senna, the supreme Grand Prix driver, tell his life story through archive footage and commentary from those who knew him. Never before seen footage shows the harrowing scenes of the weekend of the 1994 San Marino GP - dubbed the blackest in the history of the sport. Senna's reaction to the death of Roland Ratzenberger is truly poignant just a day before he lost his own life. A roller-coaster ride of exuberance, excitement, tears and unsettling sadness at times. A must see. Bring Kleenex.

6. The Matrix - Game-changing visual effects and a good story line - Keanu Reeves slightly wooden but the story compensates. There are no sequels to this film (ahem).

7. Star Wars - Epic in scope, human in telling - doesn't really need any introduction. Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan Kinobi take on Darth Vader and the evil Galactic Empire.

8. Back to the Future - " You built a time machine? Out of a DeLorean?"

9. Sin City - Luxurious adaption of Frank Miller's graphic novels. Spectacular.

10. Good Night, and Good Luck - Shot effectively in black and white, George Clooney's film about Edward R. Murrow and his struggle against Senator McCarthy's 'Red Scare' tactics is a masterful achievement.


Jim Burgess:


Casino Royale (the original 1960's version)


The General

Duck Soup

Dark Star


It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World

Galaxy Quest

Dr. Strangelove



Brad Wilson:


Rear Window
Apocalypse Now
Double Indemnity
The Third Man
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
Gone with the Wind
The Shootist
Animal House
Three Days of the Condor

All selected above have a theme: fabulous performances by (at least one) supporting actor/actress, Thelma Ritter (RW, a classic New Yawkah performance), Robert Duvall (AN; how did he not win an Oscar?) plus of course the manaic Dennis Hopper; Edward G. Robinson (DI); Orson Welles as the immortal Harry Lime (TTM); Christopher Plummer delightfully chewing up scenery with swagger (STVI); Hattie McDonald, of course (GWTW); Robert Preston (VV), his best performance ever and, to me, one of the best performances ever in a comedy, the Oscars missed the f*cking boat on this one; Ron Howard (TS); the awesome John Vernon as the Dean (AH); and Max von Sydow and Cliff Robertson (TDC).


Kevin Wilson:


Time to catch up on some of my kids movies I’ve found very entertaining:

1.    Cars: funny, amazing animation, cute story. My 4-year old can’t wait to go see Cars 2.

2.    Finding Nemo: again, funny, entertaining

3.    Monsters, Inc.: One of my favorites. Just shows some of those writers are too creative for their own good.

4.    Wall-E: I liked this one. Just the fact it was in space got my 6-year old to want to learn a little bit about the planets and space. That can’t be all bad.

Now, on to some more grown up titles

5.    BAT21: I like Gene Hackman movies. Almost anything he’s done I’ve liked. This one was fantastic. Trapped behind enemy lines, pursued closely, he still figures out his own code and finds his way home.

6.    Saving Private Ryan: The battle scenes were scary as hell but the story was great and I like Tom Hanks.

7.    The Breakfast Club: I may have more John Hughes on this list, but this was the one that I remember from college the most.

8.    The Matrix: Innovative in it’s making, a good story, and sci fi to boot.

9.    Remember the Titans: I suspect they took some liberties with the true underlying story but still one that makes you feel there is still hope.

10.  Fight Club: Just plain fun and twisted endings are the best.


Per Westling:


Movies you have to see before you die, are there any? Ok, I'll try to give some personal favorites. Don't know if I will manage 100 but I will try. Will try to not be as US-centered as most list, I presume. Have always had a fancy of SF and Fantasy, which will probably show.

So, here is the first 20 in no special order:


1.    Slum dog millionaire: A recent movie that is very Indian in style. Gives a good insight on the life in India, and in slum.

2.    Blues Brothers: Have seen this movie several times. Combining good music with the humour of Belushi & Akroyd. Great stuff.

3.    Heavy Metal: Comics, SF, Moebius, .... I was an avid reader of the comic magazine before this came out. When I started buying this I did military service, and the other guys thought I was a pervert, when I choose that instead of Hustler etc...

4.    Princes Bride: Fantasy and Comedy. Great! I saw this in London on a trip there. Had not heard about it before and was stunned by it.

5.    Seventh Seal: Ah, Ingemar Bergman! I like the blackness in his movies, very Scandinavian. And the historical bakground is very interesting.

6.    Blade Runner: Philip K Dick continues to fascinate, and so also does this film. Has many interesting twists.

7.    Pulp Fiction: The story, the acting, the music, the pulp - great stuff.

8.    Alien: Of course. One of the best SF-movies should be here.

9.    The Green Mile: A bit sugary despite the subject but I liked it.

10.  The Shawshank Redemption: Another prison movie with a more uplifting story.

11.  The Usual Suspects: A low key movie that really grows.

12.  La Femme Nikita: I am a sucker for Luc Besson movies.But avoid the TV series.

13.  som i himmelen (As It Is In Heaven): One of those feel good movies with a music touch. Plot can be found on Wikipedia, but the main story is a great artist coming home where they don't remember him, and starts a choir with ordinary people.

14.  Citizen Kane: One of the big classics - Rosebud.

15.  Mitt liv som hund (My Life as a Dog): A story about a boy, that looses his parents, while the dog Laika is flying in space.

16.  Shichinin no Samurai (Seven Samurai): Cannot leave Akira Kurosawa out of such a list, can we? Have of course been remade as a Western.

17.  Brassed Off: Another feel good movie; the Brits are masters on this. Here a great brass orchestra, from a minining city that is dying as the mines are closed.

18.  Brazil: Terry Jones has his good moments. This somewhat confusing movie, with its Kafkan touch. At the same time being very beautiful at times.

19.  Fanny and Alexander: Another Bergman? Well, probably wont have any more. Based on Bergman's life as a child.

20.  Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior: Nothing better than an Apocalypse to bring you down...


Amber Smith:


Red (2010)

Star Trek (2009)

Tangled (2010)

The good, the Bad and the Ugly (1968)

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

True Grit (1961)

True Lies (1994)

Winter's Bone (2010)

Young Frankenstein (1974)

Zombieland (2009)


Don Williams:


FIRST 10 (though in no particular order of preference …) for last month



Apocalypse Now

Inherit the Wind

The Graduate

Dr Strangelove

Open Range

Dark City

Maltese Falcon







It’s A Wonderful Life

Strangers on A Train

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Saving Private Ryan

Planet of the Apes (original)

Ben Hur


Death and the Maiden

2001-A Space Odyssey

Wizard of Oz


Deadline for Your Third Set of 10 Films: July 26th at 7am My Time



You Don't Know Me

The Eternal Sunshine Interview


What is your name: Alana Miller

What is your astrological sign: Aries

How old are you (exact or approximate):

What is your earliest childhood memory?:
Flying from Germany to the US, sitting on the floor of the plane playing with toys

Describe your immediate family (present day):
My daughter, me and a zillion animals

What do you do for a living: Paramedic

Where were you born:
Germany (army brat)

What did you want to be when you were growing up:
Originally a ballet dancer, then I discovered boys and that ruin that one real fast... later a paramedic.. took me a million years to finally do it...but did finally get my paramedic certification in my 50's shows an old dog can learn new tricks.


Douglas Kent: What drew you to want to be a paramedic?


Alana Miller: Ok the standard answer.. to help people...that is always the answer you will get it and it is partially true... I do like the satisfaction of knowing I made a difference to that person...but you also get to be the first at cool stuff and you get to drive fast (grin)


Douglas Kent: Despite not having been one for too long, what is your most memorable experience on the job?


Alana Miller: The lady that was hit by who knows how many vehicles in the middle of the night. She was dark skinned, wearing dark clothes on a dark highway... someone called in saying they think they may have run over a person... they had, but so had no telling how many big trucks and cars... body parts were spread over 1/4 a mile... picking her up piece by piece was gross.


Douglas Kent: What brought you to that part of North Carolina?


Alana Miller: I actually lived her as a kid. Got divorced, my oldest daughter lived here and wanted to see my granddaughters grow up. And getting a way from the horrific freezing winters of Missouri was a perk :)


Douglas Kent: For anyone considering moving to that area, what is the best thing and worst thing about living there?


Alana Miller: Bad: Hot as hell April - Oct... Good: warm winters (aver. temp is 50) long growing seasons for us gardeners :)


Douglas Kent: For those who really DON’T know who you are, and how I became aware of you, you run the Blind Cat Rescue ( in St. Pauls, NC. Do you have a specific title that you use?


Alana Miller:Chief pooper scooper (smile)


Douglas Kent: How was it that you became involved in animal rescue at first? And what happened to direct you towards blind cats?


Alana Miller: My 7 year old daughter wanted to volunteer for the local animal shelter at Petsmart. She was of course too young so I had to be part of the deal... Our first blind cat was Louie. A man brought him into Petsmart trying to get the shelter to accept him. Because he was so sick the shelter said no, not with out a donation to help with his expenses...he responded that he would just leave the cat in the parking lot. Louie was 6 weeks old and had a look on his face that said please help me. I said I would take the cat. The eye infection had destroyed his eyes, but being blind did not phase Louie. He showed me what true courage is.


Douglas Kent: When you started, did you ever imagine this would grow as large as it has?


Alana Miller: It blows me away at the generosity of people. Never in my wildest dreams did I think we (collective we) could accomplish this!


Douglas Kent: How many blind cats have you rescued, and how many are currently enjoying their lives within your shelter?


Alana Miller: We also help behind the scenes with cats that many don't know about, and of course posting blind cats needing homes on Facebook so I will add them to the number. I would say we have helped over 100 and we current have 50 or so at the shelter :)


Douglas Kent: I understand that you are working on opening a second building which will be used for FIV positive cats. What kind of challenges does that create?


Alana Miller: The building is open. Biggest challenge is money. Rebuilding the bank account after paying for the building. Getting enough volunteers to come play with the animals. That is our goal this year, to try to get more volunteers.


Douglas Kent: Did the publication of Homer’s Odyssey help create a larger awareness of blind cats?


Alana Miller: Oh my yes, I hear lots of people say they would consider giving a blind cat a home now. I just hope they don't all think that blind cats all act like Homer :)


Douglas Kent: What is the most common misconception about blind cats?


Alana Miller: That they are "disabled" that you must never move your furniture around. A blind cat has no idea it is blind, it knows it is a cat, it will act like a cat. If you move the furniture the cat will walk around it.. it will remap it in its memory.


Douglas Kent: What is your next long-term major goal for the shelter?


Alana Miller:Build up more volunteers.


Douglas Kent: Have you found the eBay Missionfish process an easy way to nudge supporters into getting a few extra dollars at a time in your direction?


Alana Miller: Oh my gosh, I love Missionfish!! I think it is a fantastic program that has been so generous to the cats!!


Douglas Kent: With a job and all these cats relying on you, do you have time for anything else?


Alana Miller: LOL No.


Douglas Kent: How about 5 favorite movies?


Alana Miller: I don't have any that are my all time favorites. I like lots of action, romance, sitcom, chick flick movies so have lots of favorites :)


Douglas Kent:  5 favorite books?


Alana Miller: I absolutely love to read. I will read the back of a cereal box when desperate. I enjoy true romance, true crime, bios, novels. Have too many favorite authors to list.


Douglas Kent: Hmm, 5 favorite albums/cd’s?


Alana Miller: Again, no favorite... love oldies.. (music from the 60's, early 70's)


Douglas Kent: What advice do you have for anyone considering working with, or starting, a rescue operation?


Alana Miller: Start by volunteering for your local shelter and really learn what all is truly entitled. Make sure you can raise the money to care for the animals. Do things in the right order, do everything legal and make sure you are truly willing to give up your life to do it. If you do rescue/shelter, You have no life. You cannot just drop everything and travel; the animals have to be cared for.


Douglas Kent: Is there one special blind cat story you’d like to leave our readers with?


Alana Miller: Little Elle was found in a trap in Raleigh NC. She was starving, matted up so badly she could barely move and had developed hyperthyroid and become blind. She had obviously been living on the streets for some time. She was very sick when we got her, hospitalized twice. Was on a feeding tube and we thought for sure she would not survive. Now she is healthy and happy. The attached picture is one of my favorites. I know she is saying, all if good in my world. I have food, I am safe, warm and dry and no one is hurting me.


[[In order, the photos are of Ray, Ellie, and of volunteer Lisa with one of the new FIV-positive cats.  Be sure to check out more photos at  And for those who do not know, Missionfish is an option when you sell anything on eBay; you can choose a listed charity, and a percentage of the sales price, so when you sell something on eBay part of the money goes to your selected charity.  eBay refunds part of the listing fee in exchange.  There are minimums per item though, so read the details.  If you ever sell on eBay, it’s a great way to give to Blind Cat rescue or any one of hundreds of other charities.  And your items are marked with a ribbon (and details on the charity are inserted in the listing) so all bidders know they are giving by buying.]]


In the meantime, I really need some suggestions for future interviews.  They need to be people not involved in the Diplomacy hobby.  That is the only requirement.  They can have any kind of job, or be retired, unemployed…none of that matters.  Just someone you know who you think might make an interesting subject for other readers.  I don’t think I’ve gotten more than a single suggestion from anyone since I started this section.  So get with it!



23 Tunes!


23 Tunes Game

Here are the rules for 23 TUNES. You send me three tunes for the first turn, and then two tunes in each of the last ten turns for a total of 23. If you missed the first turn, you can still catch up by sending five tunes next issue, and guess on submitters to this issue. Actually, you can send all 23 tunes at once if you want to, but then you’ll need to remember to guess everyone else’s each month.  I am also submitting my tunes. After we're done, I'd like to exchange CD's/Tapes for as many of the tunes players as possible, but this is not required. I'll be sending the winner my 23 Tune list. The winner is determined by having you guess each issue who submitted what list (I will tell you who the submitters are). For each song you get right (except those you submitted yourself), you get a point, you also can win bonus points from me for really cool tune selections. That's it, not complicated. I hope by starting this up, we'll get more to join. So, put simply…you send in the name and artist of songs you really like or have special meaning to you.  I print 3 of them the first turn, and 2 year turn after that (you can submit that way, or send in all 23 at once, or anything in between).  Each issue I list the songs for that turn, without revealing who submitted which song.  I also print a list of who submitted songs (again, without telling you which songs they sent in).  Your mission is to match the people with the songs (but no points for your own).  Simple.  And I’ll offer other prizes as well, to be determined later.  If you miss a turn, make it up my sending enough songs to catch up with the other players (and the overdue songs will simply be revealed immediately).


23 Tunes - Round Four


1.    Always Look on the Bright Side of Life - Monty Python: Paraic Reddington.  Richard Walkerdine “in the first Iraq war this song was played in the officers’ mess before the RAF Tornado crews flew off on their next mission.”  Martin Burgdorf “The favorite song of a former boss’s boss called Brian – he was a dickhead.”

2.    Amazing Grace - Blind Boys of Alabama: Kevin TigheSung to the tune of House of the Rising Sun and it works.”

3.    Ancient Voices - Russ Landau: Melinda Holley “Love all the versions!  It makes me want to try something new, wild, and different.”  Correct: GK.

4.    And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda - The Pogues: Jim Burgess.  Kevin TigheMy favorite anti-war song, no matter who sings it.”

5.    Born This Way - Lady Gaga: Andy York.

6.    Come and Get Your Love – Redbone: Douglas Kent.  Correct: GK.

7.    Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House: Hank Alme.

8.    ESP - Buzzcocks: Martin Burgdorf.  Correct: PR.

9.    Gold Fever - Clint Eastwood: Amber Smith.  Paraic ReddingtonAs a huge Paint Your Wagon fan I am in much admiration for whoever submitted this one. Bravo. Of course, as I was planning to submit ‘I Talk To The Trees’ by Clint Eastwood I now have to change my mind.” Correct: GK.

10.  Goodbye Toulouse - The Stranglers: Martin Burgdorf.  Correct: PR.

11.  Have a Nice Day – Stereophonics: Phil Murphy.

12.  Hide in Your Shell – Supertramp: Douglas Kent.

13.  Honey - Bobby Goldsboro: Richard Walkerdine “One of the classic weepies of all time.”  Correct: KT.

14.  I Am the Walrus - The Beatles: Geoff Kemp.  Richard Walkerdine “The Beatles always managed weird songs when high on drugs.” Martin Burgdorf “I am the eggman?  Could be , but I am the walrus?”   Correct: RW.

15.  I Like You Better - Raina Rose: Heather Taylor.  Correct: GK, KT.

16.  If I Had a Rocket Launcher - Bruce Cockburn: Melinda Holley “Every time I hear this I want to start a protest at every freakin' rotten government embassy that condones and supports torture as a standard operating procedure.”

17.  I'm Not Strong Enough – Apocalyptia: Amber Smith.

18.  Island in the Sun – Weezer: Hank Alme.  Correct: MB.

19.  Jug Band Music - The Lovin' Spoonful: Andy Lischett.

20.  Let Us Cross Over the River - Stonewall Country cast: David McCrumb.  Correct: PM.

21.  Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Conner: Paraic Reddington.  Richard Walkerdine “great song and very well sung but I do so hate her bald head in the video (as you know I am a big fan of really big hair).”  Correct: AL, PM.

22.  Ouverture Solenelle (1812 Overture) – Tchaikovsky: Phil Murphy.

23.  Paint it Black - Vanessa Carlton: Heather Taylor.  Correct: AL, KT.

24.  Same Day Soon - Ian and Sylvia: David McCrumb.

25.  Sleepwalk - Santo and Johnnie: Geoff Kemp.  Correct: RW.

26.  Stayin' Alive - The Bee Gees: Richard Walkerdine “They reinvented themselves for a new generation - so clever.”  Correct: AL.

27.  Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2 (with the Harlem Boys Choir): Kevin TigheNot a boys choir, just a regular choir. From Rattle and Hum, made the CD, not the movie. Choir makes the song turn from a trifle to an uplifting song of spiritual longing.”

28.  Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2: Jim Burgess.

29.  Take Me Out to the Ballgame – Traditional: Andy York.  Kevin TigheForty thousand Cub fans can't be wrong.”

30.  The Cocoanut Song - Harry Nilsson: Andy Lischett.  Correct: PM.


Scores This Round –Geoff Kemp [GK] – 4; Kevin Tighe [KT] – 3; Phil Murphy [PM] – 3; Andy Lischett [AL] – 3; Richard Walkerdine [RW] – 2; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 2; Martin Burgdorf [MB] - 1.


Total Scores (of those who submitted at least some guesses in any round): Martin Burgdorf [MB] – 16; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 16; Andy Lischett [AL] – 15; Geoff Kemp [GK] – 13; Jim Burgess [JB] – 13; Richard Walkerdine [RW] – 10; Phil Murphy [PM] – 8; Brendan Whyte [BW] – 7; Melinda Holley [MH] – 6; Hank Alme [HA] – 6; Kevin Tighe [KT] – 6; Chris Babcock [CB] – 5; Mark Firth [MF] – 5; Marc Ellinger [ME] – 4; Amber Smith [AS] – 1. 





23 Tunes - Round Five


First, songs from players who missed the last round.  From Jack McHugh (last two rounds) - Who Can it Be Now - Men at Work, She's Gone - Hall and Oates, Trans Europa Express - Kraftwerk, Enola Gay - OMD.  And from Rick Desper - Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me - The Cure, Little Red Corvette – Prince.


Submitting songs this issue are: Andy Lischett, Andy York, David McCrumb, Douglas Kent, Geoff Kemp, Hank Alme, Heather Taylor, Jim Burgess, Martin Burgdorf, Melinda Holley, Paraic Reddington, Amber Smith, Phil Murphy, Richard Walkerdine, Jack McHugh, Rick Desper, and Kevin Tighe. 


1.    All the Small Things - Blink 182

2.    American Pie - Don McLean

3.    Angel from Montgomery - Bonnie Raitt with John Prine

4.    Away - The Bolshoi

5.    Back Home - England World Cup Squad 1970

6.    Backwoods Barbie - Dolly Parton

7.    California Dreaming - The Mamas and the Papas

8.    Carmina Burana - Orff

9.    Crucify - Tori Amos

10.  Didi - Khaled

11.  Familiar Taste of Poison - Halestorm

12.  Fireflies - Owl City

13.  Handbags and Gladrags - Rod Stewart

14.  Heart if Darkness - Pere Ubu

15.  I Put a Spell on You - Nina Simone

16.  I Will Follow - U2

17.  It Was a Very Good Year - Frank Sinatra

18.  Jesus He Knows Me - Genesis

19.  Living on a Prayer (Acoustic Version) - Bon Jovi

20.  Lola - The Kinks

21.  Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds - The Beatles

22.  Martian Boogie - Brownsville Station

23.  Punk Sandwich - Dixie Dregs

24.  Rising of the Moon - High Kings

25.  Shout - Lulu

26.  Strange Things - Randy Newman

27.  Stuck in the Middle With You - Stealers Wheel

28.  Sweetest Taboo - Sade

29.  Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones

30.  The Seeker - The Who

31.  We Got the Beat - The Go-Go's

32.  We Live as We Dream, Alone - Gang of Four

33.  Where Butterflies Never Die - Broken Iris

34.  You've Got a Friend in Me - Randy Newman


Deadline for the next round of 23 Tunes is July 25th at 7pm my time.

That’s the day BEFORE the regular zine deadline.



Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column


Jim Burgess: I know it isn't your personality, but the first year I went to TempleCon, I had close to the same experience you did.  Three or four people walked by and talked to me for a few minutes, but that was it, no game, you have to reach out and grab people or they won't come over.


You can of course "book people" and then be sure they're coming.  I also agree that one game is good for the "con-goer" but not for the Diplomacy player.


[[You’re 100% correct that it isn’t my personality.  I think if the event were larger I might have more success.  But TexiCon is rather small.  If I attempt to run Diplomacy next year, I will schedule a single round, in the afternoon, which will allow me to go around and try to recruit players during the first gaming session.]]


Mark Nelson: Well, that was very poor of me to miss the deadline for a loc this issue...but I confidently predict that I will send you one and quicker than the eight years or so it took me to write the last one.


[[Don’t make promises you can’t keep!]]


Don Del Grande: Your description of running a Dip event brings back too many memories of the last event I tried to run. Edi Birsan usually runs the Dip tournament at Pacificon, the big San Francisco/San Jose-area Labor Day gaming con, but he was busy running for city council (he ended up fourth in a race where the top three got elected), so I took his place. I was set for a three round event (Saturday morning, Saturday evening, Sunday
morning), only to find that (a) they had moved the event without telling anybody, (b) only five players showed up, and (c) when it turned out that there were two more players ready who had arrived after I had moved to the other room and were still waiting in the first room, by the time I got them into the other room, the original five players had left and joined other games. I did manage to get six players for the second round, so I joined them for a game - which turned out to be the only game played all weekend.


[[I am hoping that hosting a game at my house this fall will also help to recruit players to the event.  Still, for one round, it seems silly for people to go to TexiCon unless they are also going for some other game.]]


Dane Maslen: Olivia Newton-John…She was the main reason I went to see Grease! Mind you, my tastes evidently differ from most males. I much prefer the original Sandy to the made-over one that wows everyone at the end of the film.  P.S. "Olivia Neutron Bomb" was how one British DJ used to refer to her.


Richard Walkerdine: [re: O N-J] Well she did have big hair - and as you know I do so love big hair. But my favorite scene is at the end when she is wearing those incredibly tight fitting pants - were they sprayed on? Apparently it took something like twenty minutes or more to get her into them! A wonderful film and a wonderful singer.


Andy Lischett: Heartthrobs: You had a crummy picture of Zorah Lampert, but I'll forgive you, as I submitted her name about 6 seconds before your deadline. In 23 Tunes people keep picking my songs before I do, so I feel good beating Richard to Twiggy.

Here are two more: 1. Sissy Spacek. 2. Shelley Duval. Long black hair, big brown eyes, buck teeth and no chin. What's not to love?


[[I always thought Spacek was cute, from Carrie and Coal Miners Daughter.  Duvall?  I’ll be nice and simply move on.



This is as good a place as any for me to throw in two more heartthrobs of mine.  The first is Sherilyn Fenn, who I first fell for because of her small role in Just One of the Guys.  It wasn’t until years later that I realized that’s who she was; I just remembered her “as the girl from the movie,” not connecting her to Twin Peaks or Boxing Helena where I knew who the actress was.


The other would be Michelle Williams.  I was never much a fan of Dawson’s Creek, but her beautiful eyes and wonderful apple-shaped face (I’m usually a sucker for that) put her instantly into my heartthrob mix.  Now, years later, she’s just as beautiful…and a much better actress than she was back then.]]


More Dane Maslen: I once heard a story, probably apocryphal, about an attractive female pop star wearing extremely tight trousers...

Male fan: How do you get into those trousers?

Pop star: Well, you could start by buying me a drink.

P.S. I've just come back from France where I was visiting Jeff Edmunds at his summer abode. Although the supposed aim of the trip is to play games, I take a folding bike along and do quite a bit of cycling. One of the places I cycled through was called Charras (if my schoolboy knowledge of French pronunciation is correct, then the 's' is silent). When I got back I said to Jeff "I've been through Charras today. They ought to open a brothel and run coach outings to it." Unfortunately Jeff was already groaning so I didn't get to deliver my punch line.
Fortunately I can't hear you already groaning, so this time I can: Charras bang trips have always been popular.


[[As long as you don’t get your pants caught in the chain on your bike trip, so to speak.]]


More Richard Walkerdine: This is a true story: When I was working for BAe many years ago we were building a small 100 seat regional airliner called the BAe 111, which was quite successful. We sold just one to a small airline in Nevada called Aspen Airlines. In fact they leased it rather than buy it outright. After a year or two the airline went bust and of course the plane was grounded until we could arrange to get it back and sell it to someone else.

But Aspen were using the plane to ferry punters from large cities out into the desert to a brothel. And of course when they went bust the plane was at the brothel and all the punters were stuck there for several days.

I have often wondered what the punters said to their wives and girlfriends when they finally got home.


[[I’ve got a few stories to tell, but I’ll save them for one of the books.]]


Andy Lischett: ESI: I am an idiot. It took me five minutes to figure out why you named my stock CAK.

The Twisting Tale: I enjoyed Chapter 3, but how did my furniture salesman turn European again? "Six meters"? "Ford Lincoln"? Oh well, Paraic probably didn't expect me to move his character from Ireland to San Diego in Chapter 2.

100 Movies Update: The Postman Always Rings Twice will go on my list next time. The 1946 version. The Jack Nicholson/Jessica Lange version from the '80s was dull.


Allison Kent: I am having a hard time with By Almost Popular Demand, because if no one is going to pick the most popular, that actually makes the second most popular the most popular because everyone will pick that rather than the other. So then you can't pick the second most popular .... Maybe just stick with the first one that comes to mind and hope that that is the one that scores the most points? I also know absolutely nothing about gun caliber, so each time I go to start this month's, I get nowhere. 64? No. 48?... 29? I don't know. Maybe those were actually the power ball numbers... I don't want there to be browsing history of me searching for gun calibers and then LIVING comedians. Or maybe that's ok. Maybe I watch too much TV.....


[[If Adam Sandler is at the top of the list, let me know and I’ll buy you a cookie.]]


Dave McCrumb: I was in Chicago for a corporate meeting most of last week. I took my team to a Cubs game Wednesday night. It was my first visit to Wrigley. I liked the stadium. Great seats even though we were on the upper deck. It poured for about 40 minutes so they didn’t start until 8:45 but then it went straight thru. Aside from the late night it was a lot of fun. Since the upper deck is roofed we just sat around talking and drinking beer. The one thing that got me was the ticket prices. I hadn’t been to a major league game since about 1995 when I went to Dodger Stadium a few times while out there on business. I swear I paid less than $20 for some good seats.. These tickets were almost 3 times that! I don’t see how you could take a family to more than 1 game a season. I guess I’ve gotten spoiled watching our local Class A team. You can’t beat front row seats for $9 in a new comfortable stadium.


[[What’s the difference between the Cubs and a Class A team besides the ticket price?  Oh yeah, the Class A team might win…]]


100 Movies?  Are you kidding? I’m having enough trouble coming up with songs? J Seriously, we don’t watch a lot of new movies. I think the only movie I saw in the theatre last year was the remake of Clash of the Titans and it sucked. While the original was campy at least it was fun. I don’t remember going at all this year. I may think about this some for next time but I doubt anything on my list would be less than 10 years old. Well…I can think of one. But I did enjoy seeing what other people listed. I reminded me of some movies I had enjoyed bout not thought about for years.


[[Obviously many of the 100 movies might be older ones…those missed by today’s generation, or ruined by a terrible remake (such as The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3.]]


As for the Movie Quote contest, from last turn all I have seen are The Blues Brothers and Spaceballs. No wonder I didn’t recognize any of these quotes. And this time – NO IDEA.


[[You might remember some when you see the answers.]]


Tom Howell: Re: the Hypothetical:  When faced with a supposedly binary choice:  One or the other, there always exists other options.  The trick, or hard part, (take your choice) is figuring out what other options do actually exist. Of course, if one or both of the initial options are acceptable, one can simply take one of them.


Given these are hypothetical situations, are you after hypothetical responses, or something we're actually likely to do?  Having spent several years of my life in depression, sometimes consciously, sometimes not, and at least once suicidally so, and having also spent some time thinking about it, I do have some idea how I might react to some of the situations you've posed.  My responses to the two from last week are the line of actions I'd probably attempt in those situations.  Whether I'd succeed or not would depend on the amount of physical coercion present.


[[I think what I am after is true responses, but based on the limitations of the hypothetical given.  Often that means choosing one bad option over another worse one.  But at least you try to find a loophole; that’s better than “I’d do neither.”  Obviously the questions from Scruples, rather than the ones I put in, are less controversial and easier to answer.


Hmmm…your letter makes me wonder, do you think there is a higher rate of depression among Diplomacy zine publishers?  After all, for many it was a way of socializing without having to interact socially (replaced in large part now by the internet).]]


Phil Murphy: Great news! I've been offered a two year contract in Kuwait in a private US non-profit middle and high school. It's bi-lingual and a mix of Kuwaiti and International students.


All going well, I'll be heading out on August 16th / 17th.


This brings me to my first point. Bureaucracy. Paperwork. Residency Visa. Work Permit. Having to get documents issued, police checks done etc. Getting them notarised by a notary public. Getting them apostilled by the Department of Foreign Affairs. Then sending them to the Kuwaiti Embassy in London to be verified.


Then, when all that is done, I have to get my social security and Revenue paperwork sorted...


Anyway point is I am way behind on everything including Dip. I finally cleared the desk for this weekend so expect orders at the latest by Sunday afternoon.


Once I'm over there, I plan to re-start TEOTA as a subzine perhaps. It'll give me something to keep my mind busy in the evenings.


Interesting fact I have learned: Kuwaiti schools open from 7am to 3:30pm due to the climate. Sunday to Thursday is the working week apparently. Friday is their holy day.

Now to Point No. 2. I won't know many people over there to begin with, so this is a general appeal to Dipdom that I'm looking for potential contacts in Kuwait, or even in Qatar or the UAE, and if they play Dip face to face, all the better!


If you could note it in the next issue of DW too, please that would be great!


[[Will do!]]


Andy York: Sorry the Dip event at Texicon didn't work out as well as you'd hoped. Unfortunately, it is a bad weekend for me as it is too close to ProtoSpiel South here in town. This year I didn't make ProtoSpiel either, recovering from minor foot surgery (remove a bone spur). But, all is mostly well at this time.


[[I’m sorta glad nobody showed up, only because it is better than two players showing up.  This way, nobody wasted their time but me!]]


As for the Hypotheticals, I understand the game wants force you between choices "A" or "B". In reality, other options may present themselves (in one of these cases, you have to open one of two envelopes; but a perfectly valid response is to open neither) or it may be one where the individual may never be put into the given situation (such as me dealing with the burdens of having children).


[[Well I disagree with opening neither to be a valid response, because you are given the parameter in the hypothetical that you have to open one.  That’s the situation, it doesn’t exist, but hypothetically it does.  The children one is easier, and I liked your current answer: you explained why you felt it will never happen, and gave a response in the odd circumstance in which it did.]]


Jim Burgess: Hey Richard, I loved "Heartthrobs II". In the Burgess household in that period, Mary Hopkin was our favorite female singer, I loved the remembrance (and some of the Brit oriented history about her). I like and married brunette, so Mary Hopkin's "look" was never what I gravitated toward.... though she looked a bit like "Marsha" who we all had crushes on around the same time--actually a bit later. But still, thanks for that one. I never heard of Twinkle, but Diana Ross was so wonderful. Her daughter Tracee was at Brown in the early 1990's and had an apartment near to where Charlotte and I lived. When Diana was in town, you knew it since her stretch limo was parked outside! I saw the Queen of Motown many times through that period.


[[As blasphemous as it is to say, I never much cared for Diana – nor the Supremes.]]


Cheers, just so you know someone reads your ramblings!


By the way, I also was a huge fan of the Go-Go's. But as should not be surprising, it was Jane Wiedlin who grabbed me. I've told this one before too, but way back at the beginning of the Go-Go's on their very first tour (not sure how many shows they'd done, but not many), they came to Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel here in Providence. We had a great scene there at that time (we also had one of the very first U2 shows in this country). But it also was a small club, so about 200 people showed up for a weekday night Go-Go's show in the steamy hot summer of 1981. They're just doing their 30th Anniversary Tour this week. I'd just heard Beauty and the Beat that week, it hadn't started rising in the charts yet. And I heard this was one of their first shows out of LA. The Heartbreak Hotel was REALLY grungy, and your beloved Belinda looked REALLY scared as they took the stage -- not my Jane, though she grabbed the mike, said let's rock, and we did.... one of my favorite concerts of that decade!


[[Belinda was only nervous because she thought I might be in the audience and wanted to make a good impression.]]


Per Westling: Celebrity crush? Hm. Don't really remember if I had any great crushes when I was young. But I do remember that I became very fascinated by Kate Bush during the 80s. This I upheld for some years, even naming a sunzine (KT) after her. But as time goes by it more or less became a normal situation, and after the releases of The Sensual World and This Woman's Work I have let her be. Still, I do still love many of her albums.


Music - Thanks for the review of Raina Rose, Rebecca Loebe and Jenn Grenels. I got out and checked out their albums on Spotify, and all could be found, so I will listen to them. This is probably my kind of music, but it takes some listening before I get to listen to the text in detail. Spotify gives me the possibility to get access to many millions of tunes via streaming. Isn't modern technology wonderful?


[[Do yourself a favor and look for Antje Duvekot’s music as well.]]


TV - Speaking of modern technology one thing I have started to do is to download American TV series. I have not had time to watch TV before so I have a big backlog. Have now watched all of Veronica Mars (good stuff) and am keeping pace with the HBO broadcasting of Game of Thrones. The latter I have many friends that speak highly of the books and the TV series. But maybe you have already discussed Game of Thrones in the zine?


[[Not in detail.  I haven’t seen it, nor have I read the books, but I have been told both are great.]]

Don Williams: Great zine issue, really and truly … one of the highlights of my month is the arrival of ES… and I really mean that.


In no particular order …My earliest infatuations were … Petula Clark, Karen Valentine, Kate Jackson, Olivia Newton-John, Laura Antonelli, and Linda Ronstadt. I had a real thing for Ronstadt. She’s the only woman –Farah Fawcett be damned – that I ever put on my wall as a pin-up.


[[I forgot about Linda.  Even as late as Get Closer she was still super-hot.]]

Eternal Sunshine Index – ESI

A Scientific Measure of Zine Health

Current Index: 48.98



The Eternal Sunshine Index is a stock-market-like index of the zineYou don’t do anything in this game, except write press or commentary on price movements (or why you think your stock should have gone up or down).  I move the prices beginning with next issue based on my own private formula of quantity and quality zine participation (NMR’s, press, columns, etc.).  Any new zine participants become new issues valued at at 50, but the stock for anyone who disappears will remain listed.  The average of all listed stocks will result in the ESI closing value each month, which will be charted issue to issue after we have a few months’ worth of data.  If you don’t like the stock symbol I have assigned you, you may petition the exchange to change it.  Blame Phil Murphy for suggesting this section to me.


Market Commentary: Overall the zine health index seemed poised to show some growth this season, but the NMR’s (especially those by the entire Cronin clan) overshadowed the positive activity.  Analysts see signs for hope, though…a bit more press or one more column would have resulted in a positive close for the month.




% +/-

AJK - Allison Kent



ALM - Hank Alme



AMB - Amber Smith



AND - Lance Anderson



BAB - Chris Babcock



BIE - John Biehl



BRG - Martin Burgdorf



BWD - Brad Wilson



CAK - Andy Lischett



CAL - Cal White



CHC - Chuy Cronin



CIA - Tom Swider



CKW - Kevin Wilson



CKY - Carol Kay



DAN - Dane Maslen



DBG - David Burgess



DTC - Brendan Whyte



DUK - Don Williams



FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer



FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois



FRT - Mark Firth



GRA - Graham Wilson



HDT - Heather Taylor



HLJ - Harley Jordan



HPL - Hugh Polley



JOD - Jeff O'Donnell



KMP - Geoff Kemp



KVT - Kevin Tighe



LAT - David Latimer



LCR - Larry Cronin



MCC - David McCrumb



MCR - Michael Cronin



MIM - Michael Moulton



MRC - Marc Ellinger



OTS - Tom Howell



PER - Per Westling



PJM - Phil Murphy



QUI - Michael Quirk



RAC - Robin ap Cynan



RDP - Rick Desper



REB - Melinda Holley



RED - Paraic Reddington



SAK - Jack McHugh



TAP - Jim Burgess



VOG - Pat Vogelsang



WAY - W. Andrew York



WLK - Richard Walkerdine



WWW - William Wood



YLP - Paul Milewski






Cal White: My stock should go up because I will likely lose interest shortly and therefore my fall will be that much greater...


Richard Walkerdine: On your ESI index I am expecting to do rather well as I seem to contribute almost as much as you!


Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh –

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #32




Life is so low for me right now, I actually wrote some short movie reviews.  That’s how lonely and empty (and broke) I am.  Who do I have to blow around here to find a freaking job?


Case 39 (2010): Renee Zellweger is excellent and the directory is Christian Alvert who did the next movie that I am reviewing after this one. This movie is well acted and paced. I liked I loved Callum Keith Rennie as the father of the little girl who turns out to be more than a little girl. This movie is Sixth Sense meets Fallen.


I give it 4 stars out of 5.


Pandorum (2009): Dennis Quad and Ben Foster were great but I was most impressed with Antje Traue who played the biologist. I like the whole crew was on this huge ship and they get awakened from cold storage and then trying to figure out where they were from and what is going. This movie is Event Horizon meets Alien. There was suppose to be another movie made as a sequel to this but it got cancelled cause it didn't do that well at the box office. Too bad, I would have loved to see it.


I give it 4.5 stars out of 5


Good (2008): Should be called bad or terrible.  About a German intellectual who despises the Nazis but gets pulled into the working for the government because of a novel he writes that portrays a "mercy killing" of a loved one favorably. Moved slower than a glacier. The moral choices were a jok:, gee should i work with a regime i find odious or not join the party to get a promotion at the university and nice cushy job with the SS? Kind of like if they stopped Schlinder's list in 1940 or 1941 when Oscar Schlinder is just some on the take, "Nazism is good for business so I joined the Party to scam some government contracts" business man who only uses Jewish labors because they are the cheapest ones he can find.


I give it 0 stars out of 5




An old woman with shaky hands and head walks into an adult shop and asks the clerk at the counter in a shaky voice "Tell me young you have any dildo's here?"

The clerk answered, “Yes ma'am...3rd aisle, top shelf..."

"Do you have any dildos that are over 7" long?"

The clerk responded again, "Yes ma'am 3rd aisle, top shelf...the larger ones are on the left"

"Are your dildos at least 4" around?"

The clerk rolled his eyes, and answered "Yes ma'am, 3rd aisle, top shelf to the left..."

"Do you have any dildos that have long thin arms that and that have spikes on the end?"

The clerk was growing exasperated now "yes ma'am, 3rd aisle, top shelf and to the left.  Anything else?”

Just one more question,” said the old woman.  “How do you shut them off?"



In memory of Rodney Dangerfield (but these aren’t his jokes):


My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that..... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.


Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!"


I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."


I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.


My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.


Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass! Do you think I should change dentists?


A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair."

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening."


The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.




I.Q. test

You are walking along holding an umbrella for your wife. You approach a gate with an obstruction above it made of steel.

Choose one:

a. You should lower the umbrella, close it, pass it through the gate and open it on the other-side

b. You should leave the umbrella open and pass it over the top of the obstruction and continue on the other-side

c. You should continue to hold the umbrella in the same-position because a solid-metal will pass through another solid-metal unobstructed. It's a law
of physics

d. You should give the small-umbrella to a Secret Service body-guard and get a larger-umbrella on the other-side of the gate because the small-one you are holding is woefully-insufficient to cover your wife's huge-rear.

e. You should resign because you are too dumb to hold a public-office


This is the leader of the free-world?

The Twisting Tale


This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words.  If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up.  We need more particpants!  Email me at if you’d like to participate!



Chapter 4 – Det. “Baby” LaSeuer - By Kevin Tighe


She looked around the room – at least a dozen empty beer bottles littered the floor and table.  She walked over to the bedroom feeling the stale popcorn squish under her shoes.  Newspapers and magazines were strewn everywhere.  “Are you sure no one has ransacked this place?”


“Oh yes,” replied Mel, “It usually doesn’t look this neat.”


“I bet he wonders why he’s single.  So why did you let this walking garbage pit borrow your Austin-Healy?”


“I shouldn’t have, but I’m so used to taking care of him ever since our mom left us.  He was 10, I was older and well, he has these big puppy dog eyes.  And what’s with all the negativity Detective, this place isn’t that bad. . .”


“It smells like wet cat,” Det. Susan LaSeuer shook her head.  “Look, I got a corpse next to your brother’s abandoned car outside of Halloran’s Irish Pub.  Jorge, the manager, said your brother and the dead guy were yelling at each other before taking the fight outside.  What did he say before driving away?”


“He said he won’t park it under any trees or near shopping carts.  Can I go now?”


“Am I keeping you from your Pilates class?  Yeah, you can go.  Oh, and Mel?  Contact me if he calls, can you do that, Honey?  Thanks.”


Susan answered her phone.  “Tell me something good, Axel.” 


“Hey, Baby, we lucked out - he left his cell on.  He’s in Arizona heading toward the Land of Enchantment.  I’ve contacted the authorities out there and we should have him within the hour.  So who’s got the hot ass wanger now?”


“Ugh, do you kiss your dog with that mouth?  Meet me at the airport; we’re taking the 10 seater out there.  And no, you’re not piloting this time.”


Susan put the phone away and looked outside the window.  Women were jogging by with their 3 wheel baby strollers.  “I’m so tired of San Diego,” she thought, “wish I was back in Chicago.  But the Chi-town police department doesn’t have planes, so there’s that.”


She sees a note pad with something scribbled on it by the door.  “Beethoven’s 10th?”  She tosses it back on the table.  “Why do I always get the weird ones?”


Axel was gunning the engine as she approached the Cessna. 


“Move over lead foot,” said Susan, “I got the stick.”


“Maybe that’s why you’re still single.”


“Nah, I’m just waiting for you to grow a pair.  Now not another word until we’re in the air, okay,  A-man?”


After twenty minutes she looks over at him talking on his phone.  “So is there an update, hotshot?”


Axel ends the call.  “I have some bad news for you. . .”


Next up – Paraic Reddington



by Richard Walkerdine


Paddy and Seamus are having a quiet drink in a bar in Dublin. As they look out of the window they see the brothel on the other side of the road. As they watch they see a Baptist minister walk in.


“Sure to god,” gasps Paddy, “them Baptists, they’re as bad as the devil himself.”


They continue sipping their pints of Guinness and a few minutes later they see a Jewish rabbi walk inside. “Oh no,” says Seamus, “them Jews, they are as bad as the rest!”


A few more minutes go by and then they see a Catholic priest walk into the brothel. Paddy looks at Seamus with horror in his eyes. “Oh bejesus,” he gasps, “one of them poor girls must be dying. The father’s gone in to administer the last rites!”





by Richard Walkerdine


Keith and John decided to go skiing for the weekend. They loaded up Keith’s car and headed north to the mountains.


But as they neared their destination they were caught in a terrible blizzard which made further progress impossible. Fortunately they saw nearby the lights of a farmhouse, so they drove over to it and rang the bell.


The door was opened by a very attractive lady, probably in her middle years. “I’m very sorry to trouble you ma’am,” said Keith, “but we’ve got stuck in this blizzard. I wonder, would you allow us to spend the night here?”


The lady looked a bit concerned. “Well, I’m really not sure,” she replied. “I know I have a large house but you see I am recently widowed and if any of the locals saw me letting two men into my house it could be very awkward for me.”


“Oh yes,” said Keith, “I see your point.”


Then John had an idea. “Well perhaps we could sleep in the barn? If the blizzard clears we can be away at first light and I doubt anyone will even see us.”


The lady smiled. “Yes, that is an excellent idea. Please go ahead.”


Next morning the blizzard had blown away and the two friends continued to their destination.

About nine months later Keith received a letter from a lawyer. He read it very carefully, making sure he understood all the implications, then he phoned John and asked him to come over.

John arrived. “Hey buddy,” he said, “what’s all this about?”


Keith gave him a long stare. “You remember that ski trip, when we slept in that lady’s barn?”


John looked a little worried. “Why, sure Keith, what of it?”


“I wonder,” replied Keith, “did you perhaps get up in the night and go visit her?”


John looked more worried. “Well, yes, I did. What’s the problem?”


Keith gave him another long stare. “And did you perhaps give her my name instead of yours?”


John now looked even worse. “Oh god Keith, I’m sorry but yes I did. What’s happened?”


Keith grinned. “She’s just died and left everything to me!”





by Richard Walkerdine


Some more of those lovely girls that I fell in love with as I was growing up (and indeed in some cases after I was already grown up). We are still mostly in the 60s and perhaps early 70s and I am now probably in my early twenties. It would still be nice if other readers (guys and girls) could add some of their own.


First on the list this month is Twiggy.


Her real name was Lesley Hornby and she was born in September 1949. At 16 she became one of the first supermodels (Jean Shrimpton beat her by a couple of years but Twiggy was close behind). With her androgynous looks, close cropped hair, large eyes and skinny body (91lbs, 31-22-32) she was an overnight sensation. She remained a fashion model through the 60s and early 70s and to some extent still is to this day.


By 1967 she had featured in fashion magazines in the UK, USA, France, Japan and many other countries – an edition of ‘New Yorker’ that year devoted 100 pages to her. By 1970 she began to run down her modelling career and turned to acting and singing – at both of which she was very talented. My personal favourite is the film ‘The Boyfriend’ from 1971 but there are many others.


Her recording career also began in 1971 and ran until 2009 although her only chart success was with ‘Here I Go Again’ which reached number 17 in 1976 (yes, of course I have it in my collection – along with many more of her singles).


But she is still around and still performing. In 2005 she was one of the judges on ‘America’s Next Top Model’ and is still fronting a big press and TV campaign for Marks & Spencer, a major UK department store. In fact she has been credited in many quarters with reviving its fortunes.

She is now in her sixties but still looks (nearly) as fabulous as she did at 16. I love her to bits.

Who next? Well, it has to be Cher.


I hope Doug allows this picture – if not there is no chance for my Kylie pic in a future part!


She was born Cherilyn Sarkisian and has a mixture of Armenian, French and Cherokee blood, which probably explains her dark, exotic looks. Later in her career she would legally change her name to just ‘Cher’, but I am getting ahead of the story.


When she and Sonny Bono released ‘I Got You Babe’ in 1965 they were an immediate international sensation and the song charted all over the world, not least because Cher’s voice was slightly deeper than Sonny’s. More hits were soon to follow but then she began a solo career.


Since then she has been a singer, actress, TV personality and film director. She won an Academy Award for ‘Moonstruck’ in 1988 and has also won a Grammy, an Emmy and three Golden Globes. Her first solo number 1 hit was ‘Gypsies Tramps and Thieves’ in 1971 and she is the only female artist to have had top 10 hits in every decade from the 1960s to the 2000s.


She quickly became a fashion icon (with allegedly the assistance of lots of plastic surgery) and the outfits got more and more revealing – the picture above is I think from some award ceremony in the 80s. But my personal favourite is the video for ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ from 1989. It is filmed on board the USS Missouri and Cher is wearing just a thong and fishnet body stocking – the sailors on board clearly loved the performance (and she had big hair – I do so love big hair). MTV immediately banned it which of course helped to make it a huge hit. The ban was later lifted but they would only broadcast it after 9pm. You can find the video on Google, and it’s well worth the search.


Like Diana Ross she is another example of ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it’. Long may she do so.


We’ll leave singers for a moment and move to an actress, the archetypal English rose Joanna Lumley.




She was born in 1946 and started her professional career as a photographic model. After a few years she switched to acting and had some minor roles in TV programmes and a few films. With her very upper-class ‘posh’ voice she has made a speciality of that and first gained a staring role as Purdy in ‘The New Avengers’ TV series. After that she starred opposite David McCallum in the sci-fi series ‘Sapphire And Steel’. Perhaps her most famous role however is playing the Bollinger-swigging Patsy Stone in the TV series ‘Absolutely Fabulous’ – a role she adored (what actress wouldn’t?).


In recent years she has campaigned for the right of veteran Gurkha soldiers who have served in the British Army to be allowed to settle in the UK. For those who don’t know the Gurkhas are from Nepal and have formed a regiment of the British Army for over 200 years, with 13 being awarded Britain’s highest military honour the Victoria Cross. Joanna’s father was a Major in the Gurkha regiment. It took her a few years and at least one meeting with then Prime Minister Gordon Brown but eventually the Labour government relented and Joanna’s campaign was victorious. She has campaigned on behalf of other causes since then and I remember a headline from my daily newspaper a year or so ago: ‘Joanna’s on the warpath again – be afraid, be very afraid’.


Lovely stuff.




































by Paul Milewski


I was sitting in a chair in the patent office in Bern when all of a sudden a thought occurred to me: “If a person falls freely he will not feel his own weight.”  I was startled.  This simple thought made a deep impression on me.  It impelled me toward a theory of gravity.—Albert Einstein (1879-1955), Kyoto Lecture (1922), quoted in J. Ishiwara, Einstein Koen-Roku (1977).




During my stay in London, I resided for a considerable time in Clapham Road in the neighborhood of Clapham Common . . . One fine summer evening I was returning by the last bus “outside” as usual, through the deserted streets of the city, which are at other times so full of life.  I fell into a reverie (Träumerie), and lo, the atoms were gamboling before my eyes!  Whenever, hitherto, these diminutive beings had appeared to me, they had always been in motion, but up to that time I had never been able to discern the nature of their motion.  Now, however, I saw how, frequently, two smaller atoms united to form a pair: how the larger one embraced the two small ones: how still larger ones kept hold of three or even four of the smaller: whilst the whole kept whirling in a giddy dance.  I saw how the larger ones formed a chain, dragging the smaller ones after them but only at the ends of the chain.  I saw what our past master, Kopp, my highly honored teacher and friend has depicted with such charm in his Molekular-Welt: but I saw it long before him.  The cry of the conductor “Chapham Road,” awakened me from my dreaming: but I spent part of the night in putting on paper at least sketches of these dream forms.  This was the origin of the “Structural Theory.”—Friedrich August Kekulé von Stradonitz (1829-96), Kekulé at Benzolfest in Berichte, 1890, 23, 1302.



On the 20th of May 1747, I took twelve patients in the scurvy, on board the Salisbury at sea. Their cases were as similar as I could have them.  They all in general had putrid gums, the spots and lassitude, with weakness of their knees.  They lay together in one place, being a proper apartment for the sick in the fore-hold; and had one diet common to all, viz, water-gruel sweetened with sugar in the morning; fresh mutton-broth often times for dinner; at other times puddings, boiled biscuit with sugar, &c.; and for supper, barley and raisins, rice and currents, sago and wine, or the like.  Two of these were ordered with a quart of cider a-day.  Two others took twenty-five gutta of elixir vitriol three times a-day, upon an empty stomach; using a gargle strongly acidulated with it for their mouths.  Two others took two spoonfuls of vinegar three times a-day, upon an empty stomach; having their gruels and their other food well acidulated with it, as also the gargle for their mouth.  Two of the worst patients, with the tendons in the ham rigid, (a symptom none of the rest had), were put under a course of sea-water.  Of this they drank half a pint every day, and sometimes more or less as it operated, by way of gentle physic.  Two others had each two oranges and one lemon given them every day.  These they eat with greediness, at different times, upon an empty stomach.  They continued but six days under this course, having consumed the quantity that could be spared.  The two remaining patients took the bigness of a nutmeg three times a-day, of an electuary recommended by a hospital-surgeon, made of garlic, mustard-seed, rad. raphan. Balsam of Peru, and gum myrrh; using for common drink, barley-water well acidulated with tamarinds; by a decoction of which, with the addition of cremor tartar, they were gently purged three or four times during the course.  The consequence was, that the most sudden and visible good effects were perceived from the use of the oranges and lemons; one of those who had taken them, being at the end of six days fit for duty.—James Lind (1716-94), A Treatise of the Scurvy (1753), 191-3.



The native hospital in Tunis was the focal point of my research.  Often, when going to the hospital, I had to step over the bodies of typhus patients who were awaiting admission to the hospital and had fallen exhausted at the door.  We had observed a certain phenomenon at the hospital, of which no one recognized the significance, and which drew my attention.  In those days typhus patients were accommodated in the open medical wards.  Before reaching the door of the wards they spread contagion.  They transmitted the disease to the families that sheltered them, and doctors visiting them were also infected.  The administrative staff admitting the patients, the personnel responsible for taking their clothes and linen, and the laundry staff, were also contaminated.  In spite of this, once admitted to the general ward the typhus patient did not contaminate any of the other patients, the nurses or the doctors.  I took this observation as my guide.  I asked myself what happened between the entrance to the hospital and the wards.  This is what happened: the typhus patient was stripped of his clothes and linen, shaved and washed.  The contagious agent was therefore something attached to his skin and clothing, something which soap and water could remove.  It could only the louse.  It was the louse.—Charles-Jules-Henri Nicolle (1866-1936), “Investigations on Typhus,” Nobel lecture, 1928.  In Nobel Lectures: Physiology or Medicine 1922-1941 (1965), 181.



The first concept of continental drift first came to me as far back as 1910, when considering the map of the world, under the direct impression produced by the congruence of the coast lines on either side of the Atlantic.  At first I did not pay attention to the ideas because I regarded it as improbable.  In the fall of 1911, I came quite accidentally upon a synoptic report in which I learned for the first time of paleontological evidence for a former land bridge between Brazil and Africa.  As a result I undertook a cursory examination of relevant research in the fields of geology and paleontology, and this provided immediately such weighty corroboration that a conviction of the fundamental soundness of the idea took root in my mind.—Alfred Lothar Wegener (1880-1930), The Origin of Continents and Oceans, 4th edition (1929), trans. John Biram (1966), 1.







A game of survival, bad breath, and fish odor…



This is the simple game of Lifeboat.  Everyone plays this, whether you participate or not.  Each turn everyone still alive in the lifeboat may make a single vote to throw someone off the lifeboat, or a single vote to remove one vote from yourself (a defensive measure).  The high vote getter is thrown overboard.  In a tie, everyone with that score is thrown over.  Last one in the boat wins.  I’ll probably give a prize, as usual.  Press is encouraged.  Note that the votes themselves are NOT revealed.  I just simply announce who is thrown overboard.  If you’re not listed as in the lifeboat right now but want to be, email me and I will add you next issue.  If you are listed and don’t’ want to be…well, too bad.  There is no suicide in this game; you just can ignore it if you want to. 


Currently in the lifeboat:


Allison Kent

Amber Smith

Andy Lischett

Andy York

Brad Wilson

Brendan Whyte

Cal White

Carol Kay

Chris Babcock

Chuy Cronin

Dane Maslen

David Burgess

David Latimer

David McCrumb

Don Williams

Fred Wiedemeyer

Geoff Kemp

Graham Wilson

Hank Alme

Harley Jordan

Heather Taylor

Hugh Polley

Jeff O'Donnell

Jeremie Lefrancois

Jim Burgess

John Biehl

Kayza the Dog

Kevin Tighe

Kevin Wilson

Lance Anderson

Larry Cronin

Marc Ellinger

Mark Firth

Martin Burgdorf

Melinda Holley

Michael Cronin

Michael Moulton

Michael Quirk

Paraic Reddington

Pat Vogelsang

Paul Milewski

Per Westling

Phil Murphy

Richard Walkerdine

Rick Desper

Robin ap Cynan

Sanka the Cat

Toby the Helpful Kitty

Tom Howell

Tom Swider

William Wood


Screaming “I hate this stupid game!” over and over, Jack McHugh is tossed overboard, where he bobs around like a buoy for a while before a starving shark asks him nicely to remove his fetid socks before he is eaten.  Jack, being a gentleman, does so.


Thrown Into the Shark Infested Waters: Douglas Kent, Jack McHugh



Melinda: Okay, we've tossed that inept moron of a captain overboard.  Now where's the guy who was supposed to be watching the radar?  Women, the men were in charge of this fiasco.  I say we unite!


Anonymous: Vote for Don Williams, for “reversing” direction.


Andy Lischett: Anyway, I vote to toss off the former governor of Massachusetts, William Wood.


Anonymous: In the interests of performing a service to mankind, I'll have to try throwing Richard Walkerdine overboard. There is, however, no chance of him getting eaten by the sharks: all he needs to do is tell them some 'late arrivals at the ball' puns and they'll throw him up again.


Andy Lischett Again: The governor of Massachusetts was William Weld, but I'll still vote to toss off William Wood... for impersonating a governor.


Anonymous: Hope you can swim, Flapper!!!


Tom Howell: Those cats ought to make good shark bait.


Deadline for your votes and any press is July 26th at 7:00am my time

Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Don Williams, Melinda Holley, Brad Wilson, Fred Wiedemeyer, Phil Murphy, needs two more to fill.  Sign up now!

Balkan Wars VI – To be Guest GM’d by Brad Wilson: Signed up: Doug Kent (that’s me folks), Jack McHugh, needs 4 more.  Contact Brad to sign up at bwdolphin146 “of”  Sign up now!!!  HURRY!!!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant.  Rules are in ES #47.  Join in at any time!

By Almost Popular Demand: Underway, join anytime.

23 Tunes: Game currently underway, join any time. 

Lifeboat: Everybody plays, whether you actually do anything or not. 

Standby List: HELP!  I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill.  When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it.  If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch.  If you have specific game requests please let me know.




Eternal Sunshine Game Section



Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, Fall 1913


Austria (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” A Berlin – Kiel,

 A Bohemia Supports A Tyrolia – Munich, A Burgundy – Gascony, A Galicia – Silesia,

 F Gulf of Lyon Supports F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc), A Holland – Belgium, A Kiel – Holland,

 A Munich – Burgundy, A Paris Supports A Burgundy - Gascony (*Cut*), A Piedmont Supports F Marseilles,

 A Rumania – Galicia, A Serbia – Trieste, A Tyrolia - Munich.

England (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of”  A Brest - Paris (*Fails*), F Denmark - North Sea,

 F English Channel Convoys A London – Brest, A Finland Supports F St Petersburg(nc),

 A London - Brest (*Fails*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Spain(nc) (*Fails*),

 F Portugal Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Spain(nc), F Spain(sc) - Marseilles (*Disbanded*),

 F St Petersburg(nc) Supports A Finland (*Fails*), A Wales - Yorkshire

Germany (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” A Ruhr Unordered.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” Retreat F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - North Atlantic Ocean..

 F Bulgaria(ec) – Constantinople, F Greece - Ionian Sea, A Livonia - St Petersburg (*Fails*),

 F Marseilles Supports F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc), A Moscow Supports A Livonia - St Petersburg,

 F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), F North Africa Supports F Tunis - Western Mediterranean,

 F Tunis - Western Mediterranean, F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc).

Winter 13/Spring 14 Deadline is July 26th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Belgium, Berlin, Budapest, Holland, Kiel, Munich, Paris, Rome, Rumania, Serbia,

Trieste, Venice, Vienna, Warsaw=14, Build 1

England:          Brest, Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, Portugal, St Petersburg,

Sweden=9, Even

Germany:         None=0, OUT!!

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Marseilles, Moscow, Naples, Sevastopol,

Smyrna, Spain, Tunis=11, Build 2




A/H to P.M.: You ain't see nothin' yet boss! Lookin' forward to a London vacation soon...


Sultan to Prime Minister: Now it is just us.... and you. And we are us. We're sorry but you are you.


PM to ALL:
Rule Brittania, Brittania Rule the Waves
No smarmy Turk is gonna steal our lathes.


 “Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse


Billy Ray Valentine: Calling himself Agent Orange.


Duke of York: No trades.


Smaug the Dragon: Sells 500 Pounds, 500 Piastres.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Crowns and 500 Marks.  Buys 347 Pounds and 384 Piastres.


Baron Wuffet: Hold all.


Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 Crowns, 500 Pounds.  Buys 1149 Piastres.

VAIONT Enterprises: Sells 500 Pounds.  Buys 463 Crowns.


Insider Trading LLC: Under indictment.


Bourse Master: Stands pat.


Germany is eliminated, making the German Mark now worthless.  A few of you didn’t even bother selling any of your Mark holdings this turn when elimination seemed all but assured.  Tsk, tsk.


Next Bourse Deadline is July 25th at 7:00pm my time




To the Duke:  Unbalanced, rebalanced, whe cares?  It's just MONEY!


Duke of York to Everyone in Pounds: You're nuts, but suit yourselves.


Smaug to All: Butter is not to my taste. Roasted Wuffet... now that's more like it *snorts flames*


White Press Diplomacy “Creepshow” 2009D, W 09


There were 3 NMR’s this season: all three members of the Cronin clan.


As the last few seasons have been taken up merely with the mission of convoying a unit back and forth from Syria to St. Petersburg, and Kevin Wilson is the only player with units left who sent any orders in, I hereby declare this game over in a concession to Russia.  If every player (including Graham Wilson, who has one center but no units) emails me with a vote to continue the game by July 10th, I will adjudicate Winter 1909 and Spring 1910 with Kevin’s orders on file ONLY, and we can then continue from there.  Otherwise, end game report and statements will be printed next issue.




Black Press Gunboat, “Maple Sugar,” 2009Crb32, End Game



David Latimer – Germany: My first 'Play By (E)Mail' win!! A weird game as it all seemed to go my way even though I managed to NMR twice!  Perhaps too much squabbling between other powers who should have ganged up on me. A kinda like the fact I got 20 SC's. Thank you Doug for hosting.



Graustark Game 2002D, W 21

F/G Draw Passes!  End game report and statements next issue!




England: England votes no to the F/G draw J. It was kind of fun to force you two to do this the draw this way! Good job.


Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, S 11

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Serbia - Budapest.

England (Fred Wiedemeyerwiedem “of” F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F English Channel Supports F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Irish Sea Supports F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F North Atlantic Ocean Supports F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Norway Supports F St Petersburg(nc),

 A Paris Hold, A Picardy Hold, F St Petersburg(nc) Hold.

France (Hank Almealmehj “of” F Portugal Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Germany (Harley Jordanharleyj “of” F Baltic Sea - Gulf of Bothnia, A Berlin – Prussia,

 A Gascony – Spain, F Kiel - Baltic Sea, A Marseilles Supports A Gascony – Spain, A Munich – Silesia,

 A Rome Hold, A Trieste Supports A Serbia – Budapest, A Venice – Tyrolia,

 A Vienna Supports A Serbia - Budapest

Italy (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F Spain(nc) (*Dislodged*,

 retreat to Western Mediterranean or North Africa or Gascony or OTB),

 F Spain(nc) Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Disbanded*).

Russia (John Biehljerbil “of” F Aegean Sea – Greece,

 A Budapest Supports A Bulgaria - Serbia (*Disbanded*), A Bulgaria – Serbia, F Constantinople - Aegean Sea,

 A Galicia Supports A Budapest, A Greece – Albania, A Livonia Supports A Moscow - St Petersburg,

 A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Fails*), A Rumania Supports A Bulgaria – Serbia, F Sevastopol - Black Sea.


Summer/Fall 11 Deadline is July 26th at 7:00am my time




Italy in Exile: See ya, I'm outta here, you guys are on your own now!


Black Press Gunboat, “Scream” 2010Brb32, W 04/S 05

England: Disband A St Petersburg.. F Norway - North Sea (*Dislodged*, retreat to Barents Sea or

 Norwegian Sea or OTB), F Norwegian Sea – Edinburgh, A Yorkshire Supports F Norwegian Sea - Edinburgh.

France: A Burgundy Supports A Picardy – Belgium, F English Channel - London (*Bounce*),

 A Marseilles – Piedmont, A Picardy – Belgium, F Spain(sc) - Western Mediterranean.

Germany: Disband A Burgundy.. Build A Kiel..A Belgium pisses their pants (Holds) (*Dislodged*, retreat to

 Ruhr or Holland or OTB), F Denmark - North Sea (*Bounce*), F Edinburgh Supports F Denmark - North Sea

 (*Dislodged*, retreat to Clyde or OTB), A Kiel Supports A Ruhr – Munich, F North Sea - London (*Bounce*),

 A Ruhr - Munich.

Italy: Retreat F Naples - Rome.. Remove A Albania.. A Munich Supports A Venice - Tyrolia (*Dislodged*,

 retreat to Tyrolia or Bohemia or Silesia or Berlin or OTB), F Rome Hold (*Dislodged*, retreat to Tuscany or OTB),

 A Venice - Tyrolia (*Dislodged*, retreat to Apulia or Tuscany or OTB).

Russia: Build A Warsaw, A Moscow.. A Livonia – Warsaw, A Moscow - St Petersburg, F Rumania – Sevastopol,

 A Serbia Supports A Trieste, F Skagerrak – Norway, A St Petersburg – Finland,

 F Sweden Supports F Skagerrak – Norway, A Trieste Supports A Tyrolia – Venice, A Tyrolia – Venice,

 A Warsaw - Moscow.

Turkey: Build A Constantinople, F Smyrna.. F Aegean Sea - Ionian Sea, A Constantinople – Bulgaria,

 A Greece Supports A Constantinople – Bulgaria, F Ionian Sea – Tunis, A Naples – Rome, F Smyrna - Aegean Sea,

 F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports A Naples - Rome


Summer/Fall 1905 deadline is July 26th at 7:00am my time




England to the rest of the map: HELP!!!


Turkey to Russia: Rum-Sev please so we can have some happy DMZs.


PARIS to LON, BER and CON: Get your act together or Russia wins.


Turkey to France: Nothing to see here. Carry on.


Rome – Paris: Next turn I’ll support you to Ruh.



Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, W 02/S 03

Austria (Paul Milewskipaul.milewski “of” Retreat A Galicia - Silesia.. F Albania Hold,

 A Budapest – Galicia, A Bulgaria - Rumania (*Dislodged*, retreat to Serbia or OTB), A Serbia – Budapest,

 A Silesia - Warsaw.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” Build F Edinburgh.. F Edinburgh - North Sea (*Fails*),

 F North Sea - Holland (*Bounce*), F Norway – Skagerrak, F St Petersburg(nc) – Norway, A Yorkshire Hold.

France (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” A Burgundy - Belgium (*Fails*), A Gascony – Paris,

 F North Africa – Tunis, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Ionian Sea (*Dislodged*, retreat to Rome or Tuscany or Gulf of Lyon

 or OTB), F Western Mediterranean Supports F North Africa - Tunis.

Germany (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” Build F Kiel.. F Denmark Supports F Sweden,

 A Holland – Belgium, F Kiel - Holland (*Bounce*), A Munich - Burgundy (*Fails*),

 A Ruhr Supports A Holland - Belgium.

Italy (Hank Almealmehj “of” Build F Naples.. F Greece Hold,

 F Ionian Sea Supports F Naples - Tyrrhenian Sea, F Naples - Tyrrhenian Sea, A Tunis Hold (*Disbanded*),

 A Tuscany - Piedmont.

Russia (Jack McHugh jwmchughjr “of” A Galicia – Vienna,

 A Rumania Supports F Black Sea - Bulgaria(ec) (*Void*), F Sevastopol Hold, F Sweden Hold,

 A Ukraine Supports A Rumania.

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of” F Black Sea Supports F Constantinople –

 Bulgaria(ec), F Constantinople - Bulgaria(ec), A Smyrna - Ankara.


Summer/Fall 03 Deadline is July 26th at 7:00am my time




France to Austria; what is Italy divided by 2?

France to Germany; why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends???

France to Germany 2; If you move to Tyrolia Italy would not be able to cover all of his bases.


Eng: Keeping the world safe from 6 center countries!


CON: Trapped again!!!


Belgium: We draw the line HERE! This far and no farther!



Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, F 03

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations.  All press submitted will be printed.


Austria (Dave McCrumb): A Bohemia Supports A Tyrolia – Munich, A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*),

 A Rumania - Ukraine (*Bounce*), A Serbia - Rumania (*Fails*), A Silesia Supports A Tyrolia – Munich,

 A Tyrolia - Munich.

England (Tom Howell): F English Channel Supports F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F Helgoland Bight – Denmark, F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F North Sea Supports F Helgoland Bight - Denmark.

France (Paraic Reddington): A Belgium Supports A Holland, F Brest Hold, A Burgundy Supports A Belgium,

 A Holland Supports A Kiel, F Marseilles Supports F Portugal - Spain(sc) (*Cut*), F Portugal - Spain(sc).

Germany (John Biehl): A Kiel Supports A Munich – Berlin, A Munich – Berlin, A Sweden - Denmark (*Fails*).

Italy (Rick Desper): F Greece Supports A Rumania - Bulgaria (*Void*), F Rome - Tyrrhenian Sea,

 F Western Mediterranean Supports F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Russia (Jack McHugh): F Berlin - Baltic Sea, A Moscow - Ukraine (*Bounce*), F Prussia - Berlin (*Fails*),

 A Sevastopol Hold, A Warsaw - Galicia.

Turkey (Brad Wilson): F Aegean Sea - Eastern Mediterranean, F Armenia Hold, F Black Sea – Ankara,

 A Bulgaria – Constantinople, F Constantinople - Smyrna.


W 03/S 04 Deadline is July 26th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart

Austria:            Budapest, Munich, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Venice, Vienna=7, Build 1

England:          Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway=5, Build 1

France:            Belgium, Brest, Holland, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=7, Build 1

Germany:         Berlin, Kiel, Sweden=3, Even

Italy:                Greece, Naples, Rome, Tunis=4, Build 1

Russia:             Moscow, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Warsaw=4, Remove 1

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Smyrna=4, Remove 1




"Vy der sudden attraktion?"


italy must eat spaghetti to italy must die: we are opposed to you nihilistic philosophy, pass the meatballs and parmasian cheese please...


germany must have beer to World: we most have access to our beer or death!


france must have wine to germany must have beer: we'll trade you some wine for you good


Ghost III:  John Wilman?  Anyone heard from him lately?


Italy Must Win to Italy Must Die: Eat my dust, ashes to ashes!


Italy Must Win to Lucky Bastards: Pick me, pick me, I've got the right orders!


MOS: At night all cats are grey.

CON: White cats, red cats, green cats, meeeee-OW

SPECTRE: Germany has fallen to our plot ... who's next, heh heh heh (petting white cat with diamond collar)


Black Press Gunboat, “Streets of Soho,” 2011Arb32, W 01/S 02


Austria: Build A Vienna, A Budapest.. A Budapest Supports A Vienna – Trieste, F Greece - Aegean Sea,

 A Serbia – Greece, A Trieste – Serbia, A Vienna - Trieste.

England: F London - North Sea, F North Sea – Norway, A Yorkshire Hold.

France: Build F Marseilles.. A Burgundy Hold, F Marseilles - Gulf of Lyon, F Picardy - English Channel,

 A Spain - Marseilles.

Germany: Build A Berlin.. A Berlin Supports A Munich, F Denmark – Sweden, A Kiel Supports A Munich,

 A Munich Supports A Berlin.

Italy: Build F Naples.. F Naples - Tyrrhenian Sea, A Piedmont – Tuscany, F Tunis - Western Mediterranean,

 A Tyrolia - Piedmont.

Russia: Build F Sevastopol.. F Gulf of Bothnia - Baltic Sea, F Rumania - Black Sea,

 F Sevastopol Supports F Rumania - Black Sea, A Silesia Supports A Tyrolia - Munich (*Void*),

 A Ukraine - Rumania (*Bounce*).

Turkey: Build A Ankara.. A Ankara – Armenia, F Black Sea Supports A Bulgaria - Rumania (*Dislodged*,

 retreat to Ankara or OTB ), A Bulgaria - Rumania (*Bounce*), A Constantinople - Bulgaria (*Fails*).


F 02 Deadline is July 26th at 7:00am my time





germany-russia: bite me


AUSTRIA - ITALY: Travelling has begun my friend but please don't linger in Tyrolia!







germany-italy: i'm the target? how many centers do you think you'll get?


England to the world…the coup is over…the game is on. Long Live the Emperor, err, um prime minister, um err, King.


Munchen is in trouble. Italien is the language of the day.


Rome to Vienna: LIAR!!

germany-france: what did i do to you?

germany-england: wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


GERMANY: That England NMR saved my ass.

ROME-MOSCOW: Maybe I misunderstood which front you were asking road directions about. Let me get out the Rand McNally.


ENGLAND to SILENT MAJORITY: We have executed all the admirals and made examples of the generals. We expect no further nonsense. Bloody rum go, wot?


Pope-Archduke: Please let the cardinals know if this suits you or not. We note your defensive yet peaceful mein, and wish you less harm than you deserve but more than you will earn if you respond to our trust with malicious bad intent.


ENGLAND to CZAR NICK: Cheeky of you sneaking onto the Kaiser’s rump like that for a bit of buggering. Sodding good show.


ENGLAND to FRANCE: Mind that sodding eye-tie, bloke. He’s keen for you.

ROME: Hey, Russia, lay off Turkey!!! He's my bud!!!

ENGLAND: God save the Dork.



By Almost Popular Demand


The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the a popular answer but NOT the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. However, if your answer is the most popular answer, you score ZERO.  The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer.  Your score for this answer will be doubled.  In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.  Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds, and the score is doubled for Round 10.  A prize will be awarded to the winner.  Research is permitted!


Round 1 Categories


1. A gun caliber.

2. A living comedian.

3. A movie which bombed at the box office

4. A song by The Eagles.

5. A flavor or type of soup (not a brand).


Selected Comments by Category:


CaliberMarc Ellinger “Although I’m tempted to put the .44 Magnum, it’ll shoot your head clean off.”  Paraic Reddington “My guess is that .22 will be the most popular so I’ll avoid that.”


Comedian – Brad Wilson “I find Jerry Seinfeld painfully unfunny, but I know many do not.”  Marc Ellinger “Bill Cosby’s TV show was junk, but his stand up is great…and it’s actually clean.”  Kevin TigheAnytime I have a chance to answer Bill Cosby, I will.”  Paraic Reddington “Should be a wide spread of answers here so it’s possible that EVERYONE gets the most popular with just 1 vote each!”  Dane MaslenGiven that this is an American zine, I think I can be confident that I won't have picked the most popular answer for number 2. Maybe I should have played my joker here.”


Movie Bomb – Michael Moulton “I remember all the hype for Battlefield: Earth, and it was terrible. Hopefully it's been long enough that only a few people will mention it.”  Marc Ellinger “Anything with J Lo is automatically a bomb, right? It’s just that Gigli really stands out!”  Jim Burgess “This one is interesting, if you actually look up the wikipedia list, there are lots of big bombs that you've never heard of. The big ones I thought of already before looking at this list, and they're all there, are Gigli, Battlefield Earth, Heaven's Gate, and Ishtar. I've seen all four, and they're all bad in their own way. Battlefield Earth was the most fascinating of the bombs to me, so I'll go with that.”


Eagles – Richard Walkerdine “God I am so bored with bloody 'Hotel California'.”  Michael Moulton “Hotel California is easily the most popular choice, but I'm thinking that some people won't pick it because it's obvious, hopefully making it second. That or I'm overthinking the whole thing.”  Paraic Reddington “Steering clear of Hotel California.”  Kevin Wilson “I was afraid Hotel California would get a 0 score.”  Jim Burgess “This one is cool because Hotel California is far and away their most popular song, but maybe NO ONE will pick that one!!! I'm almost tempted to pick it, but let's go with "Take it to the Limit".”


Soup – Kevin Tighe “Hope there are just a few vegetarians out there.”


MANY of you did not choose a Joker, so Category #1 is selected automatically.

Congrats to Melinda, taking 1st place!


Round 2 Categories


1. A color.

2. A sense.

3. A book by Kurt Vonnegut.

4. A song by ABBA.

5. A gemstone.


Deadline for Round 2 is July 26th at 7:00am my time



Eternal Sunshine Movie Quote Contest


There are ten rounds of movie quotes, and each round consists of ten quotes.  Anyone may enter at any point. If you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds.  A prize will be awarded to the winner – and it might be a very good prize!  Research is not permitted!  That means NO RESEARCH OF ANY KIND, not just no searches for the quotes themselves.  The only legal “research” is watching movies to try and locate quotes.  Try to avoid the temptation to Google the quotes.  I’m doing many of the quotes from memory anyway, so you won’t necessarily be able to find them by direct search…so don’t try!  Each round will also contain one bonus question, asking what the ten movies being quoted have in common.  The player with the most correct answers each round gets 3 points, 2nd place gets 2 points, and 3rd place gets 1 point.  In the event of ties, multiple players get the points (if three players tie for first, they EACH get 3 points).  High score at the end of ten rounds wins the game, and a prize (unless you cheated).  If there’s enough participation I may give a prize for 2nd and maybe even 3rd place overall too.  Quotes may contain more than one person speaking (in other words, part of a scene with more than one character talking).  In those instances, quotes will separate the characters speaking.  I also plan on making the 10th round worth double points.


Round Nine


#1. The prettiest sight in this fine pretty world is the privileged class enjoying its privileges.  The Philadelphia Story, Correct: JM, JB.  Apprecticeship of Duddy Kravitz – KT.  Master and Commander – PR.  Sabrina – RD.


#2. You taught her how to read and write; now give her something to read and write about!  The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Correct: JM, JB.  Sabrina – RD.


#3. You know what his pet aversion is? The people who commercialize on fear, you know - they scare you to death so they can sell you something you don't need.  You Can’t Take it With You.  The Spirit of St. Louis – JM.  Lord of War – PR.  Key Largo – RD.


#4. And the trombones, right on the left here; over there, right in there.  And the four trumpets right behind them.  The Glenn Miller Story, Correct: JM.  Mr. Holland’s Opus – KT.  To Have and Have Not – RD.


#5. But if there's just one chance in a thousand that he's got something, boy, I'd rather take it than just sit around here waiting to die.  The Flight of the Phoenix, Correct: JM, PR.  Treasure of the Sierra Madre – RD.


#6. She'd make a jazzy weekend, but she'd be a bit wearing for a steady diet.  The Big Sleep, Correct - RD.  The Cheyenne Social Club – JM.


#7. Well, I'm not licked. And I'm going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause. Even if the room gets filled with lies like these, and the Taylors and all their armies come marching into this place.  Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Correct: JM, AL, KT, PR, JB.  The Caine Mutiny – RD.


#8. If you do that one more time, I'll punch you all the way out into the middle of Lake Superior!  Anatomy of a Murder, Correct: JM.  North Country – KT.  The Africam Queen – RD.


#9. We stood there and I kissed her for the last time, and she said, 'If you lose me you'll know that I loved you and wanted to keep on loving you.”  Vertigo, Correct - JB.  Strategic Air Command – JM.  Body Heat – KT.  Casablanca – RD.


#10. You have two ways of leaving this establishment, my friend: immediately or dead.  The Shootist, Correct: JM, KW.  Maltese Falcon – RD.


Bonus: What do all these films have in common?  All Jimmy Stewart Movies, Correct: JM, JB.  They all have a person’s name in the title – KT.  All black and white – PR.  All westerns – KW.  Bogart movies – RD.


Points This Round: Jack McHugh [JM] – 8; Jim Burgess [JB] – 5; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 2; Andy Lischett [AL] – 1; Kevin Tighe [KT] – 1, Kevin Wilson [KW] – 1; Rick Desper [RD] - 1. 


Total Game Points: Jim Burgess – 21; Jack McHugh – 14; Paraic Reddington – 11; Kevin Tighe – 7; Rick Desper – 6; Heather Taylor – 2; Kevin Wilson – 2; Michael Moulton – 1; Hank Alme - 1.


Round Ten

This round is worth double points.  There is no bonus question…the thing all these movies have in common is that they are currently in my house on DVD, and they are all movies I really enjoy.  I may be awarding multiple prizes, so give it a try!


#1. I'm not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just gets you; it's so rare.


#2. Well, it's breathing now, but it'll be hot down there. I could go with the lambs wool, but then again, you'll see a lot of khaki down there and this merlot looks good with the gray.


#3. Wiping out the human race? That's a great idea. That's great, but more of a long-term thing. I mean, first we have to focus on more immediate goals


#4. They don't even need guns to defend that! All they've got to do is roll rocks down on us!


#5. Well, think me up a cup of coffee and a chocolate doughnut with some of those little sprinkles on top, while you're thinking.


#6. I've got a hole in me pocket.


#7. I don't know. You're implying that I should know. If you print that, our relationship will be terminated.


#8. I haven't seen Berlin yet, from the ground or from the air, and I plan on doing both before the war is over.


#9. This may sound like gibberish to you, but I think I'm in a tragedy.


#10. Even though this feels like a trial, it really isn't. It's just a process that helps us decide, and as inperfect as it may be, we think it works quite well.


Deadline for your answers to Round 9 is July 26th at 7:00am my time



General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:  July 26th, 2011 at 7:00am my time.