Eternal Sunshine #57

October 2011

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX  75149

Email: or

On the web at – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at  Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at  Also remember to check out for official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his available merchandise!  Links to many of the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button in the main menu of the Whining Kent Pigs website.  Or go to where women can learn all the secrets of how a man’s mind works, and why they act the way they do.

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Quote Of The Month“What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she's a stranger.” (Joel in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)


Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine that opens each issue with a quote from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  I have considered changing the quotes so they come from various places, but decided against it.  Instead I may add a second quote each issue; something from another source.  We’ll see.


Another busy – and short – month, but life is a little bit calmer if nothing else.  I managed to get a few small things written for this issue, including a review of the Antje Duvekot show we say in late July.  I actually am beginning to feel some motivation for writing return, so perhaps next issue you’ll get more of substance.  Fortunately you have Richard Walkerdine and Jack McHugh to take up the slack.  Paul Milewski, Kevin Tighe, and Phil Murphy will likely all return with columns in the near future; as you know by now, it is quite common for an issue or two to go by without some of the occasional columns.


I’ve opened a game of Youngstown IV, which is one of my all-time favorite variants.  Jack is going to write an article about Y4 for Diplomacy World, but he wants to play a game of it again first (hence the current game opening).  We’ve already got four people signed up, so join the fun!  Otherwise he’ll use the lack of a game as his excuse never to write the article.


Don’t forget to send gifts, cards, cash, and gift cards en masse for my upcoming birthday and our upcoming anniversary.  After al….you wouldn’t want me to “accidentally” lose your orders, would you?  Mooooohahahahaha!


October will be another 4-week deadline, so don’t wait around until the last minute.  Now I’ve got to finish this up and adjudicate the remaining games…Diplomacy World #115 awaits!  That should be out in early October.  I could ALWAYS use more input, and more material, for Diplomacy World, so contact me if you want to write something for this or any future issue.


See you in November!


Playlist: Dulcinea – Toad the Wet Sprocket; Ghost World – Soundtrack; Live as You Like – Victrola; Run Lola Run – Ton Twyker; Who’s Next – The Who.  I need to make a trip to Half Price books soon and scour their bargain CD shelves…I find a lot of good stuff there for between $1 and $3.




I understand that spam/scam emails prey on the ignorant and the desperate.  People who have no hope will often cling to anything, no matter how far from reality it might be.  But if anybody fell for the email below, which I received this month, I think they need to be examined immediately:



From Akram Haider


I 'm very sorry on what happens to you when I noticed how corrupted people with their bad gangs members in different places conspired to deceive you on an attempts to fraud money in all acts against you. Please for you information, stop send money to any person regarding that transaction you engaged for claim of money, but why such mistake by you? Why you did not know true confirmable contact of real banks which is traceable and confirmable in your countries chamber of commerce? I recently know everything that happens to you because I am under monitoring unit; section that watch conversation both internet some times. Therefore, I’m here to inform you sensitive information concerning the transaction you already engaged.


Frankly, these corrupted people do agreements within them to perform together an illegal and wrongful ways to get you confused. The contact they gave to you is fake contact, not real bank contact. While they are contacting real contact of bank as if is you, they are using contacts and information similar to your own. You can not understand this clarification if you did not calm down and read to understand well also be careful. Maybe you trusted those people. Indeed, I believed that they are doing such bad to you because they believed that you did not know how to know real contacts of banks or real company in another countries, if you know how to understand or recognize real contacts of banks and companies in another countries, they would not plan to divert your money by such way fooling you. I hope you know that International Community has published about their fake fraud. Meanwhile, you have to stop further communication with them, so that I can educate you how to know true of everything that is happening, also I have to teach you how to know real contact of any financial institutions or company in any country, of which after teaching you this you can by yourself confirm any bank’s or financial institution’s contacts by yourself, no matter the country it is from, you can stay in your country government business directory office also verify it or in chamber of commerce. Also I will educate you how you can receive your money without any advance fee or upfront payment, if worth as desired for the capability.


In fact, I was discouraged when I discovered that you trusted these corrupted officials already sacked out off work, due to their evil acts are well known by good highly rank bank’s officials. Please do not forward or send my message to them, all you have to do is to first cool down, and find out truth of what I am telling you, and then you will see how you will capture their evil plan against you. Believe on me only when you find out the truth. Calmly follow my directions and instruction, so that you can understand the truth by yourself. They are doing everything to gain the money and deceiving you with fake’s contacts that are not true bank contacts. I have exposed them to top good bank staffs, and they are sacked and they are still contacting you. I vow to them, that I will contact you, and explain everything to you, so that you can stop with them and you will contact real bank to claim your big cash that is not good to go wasted, such big amount of money.


I believe the money belong to you, unless if you luckily created an e-mail address of whom am addressing this word to, I hope you know that is possible, since any e-mail address account that happen to be close can be create again by any other person after three month of closing the e-mail address. I am waiting your urgent reply; I will start give you more open information to capture the truth by yourself more than what I can tell you.


Kind regard,




Concert Review – Antje Duvekot in Dallas at Uncle Calvin’s Coffeehouse


I’d last seen Antje Duvekot on my trip to Tulsa, which is where I was introduced to the wonderful Arkansas trio 3 Penny Acre.  So I was very excited to see her play in Dallas for the first time in years.  And this time I’d get to bring Heather with me, and our friend Amber who drove up from the Ft. Hood area.  I even tried to get other people to go, but locally nobody seemed familiar enough with her music (their great loss) and Andy York said something about cat sitting.  I know how he treasures his cat time, so I didn’t want to push it.



The concert was at Uncle Calvin’s Coffeehouse, which is a venue within a local church.  It’s intimate, and there’s no alcohol (but plenty of coffee and dessert).  Heather and I saw the Raina Rose/Becca Loebe/Jenn Grinels show there, and I’d been lucky enough to see 3 Penny Acre there since the Tulsa show (Heather didn’t go with me to that one).  There’s great sound in the room, and the crowd is always appreciative, and often enthusiastic. 


I had a terrible day at work beforehand, but by the time we went to the show Heather and Amber had loosened up a bit with an adult beverage, and I was getting into a more positive mood.  It’s hard to be cranky when you’re about to see your favorite singer/songwriter up close and personal.


The opening act included a last-minute change due to illness.  The replacement was a local Dallas act who had never appeared at Uncle Calvin’s before (and who I’d never heard of): Andrew Delaney.  He appeared solo, just his guitar and harmonica accompanying him, but he explained his normal band was “Andrew Delaney and the Horse You Rode In On.”  He was a bit shy, but personable, and threw in stories here and there about how he wrote some of this songs (plus his hopefully finished “starving musician” days).  In particular I enjoyed his songs Wine & Roses, Girl With a Gun, and Dead Man’s Boots.  Most of his music was semi-country Americana/Folk, although a few tunes strayed further into the country category.  Heather enjoyed him enough to have me buy both CD’s he had for sale at the show: “Scoundrels!” and “Would I Lie to You?”  “Scoundrels!” is available for download on Amazon, so give the songs on there a preview, and if you like them…buy them!


After a brief break, Antje took the stage.  She looked much happier than last time, which isn’t hard to do when you consider in Tulsa she’d been sick, late, and the airline had lost all of her luggage (plus that was a much smaller venue).  In fact, at that show (despite her smiles and complete professional attitude, fighting through everything to put on the best performance she could) Antje had asked that she and 3 Penny Acre switch places, making her the opening act so her set would be shorter.  Not so this time…Antje was there to do a full show, with her own intermission.


I’d actually heard a few of her stories before, either at the show or one of her early live CD’s, but it was a real joy to watch and listen again.  Antje has such a down-to-earth, open personality (which comes through in many of her songs).  So in between stories of her travels, childhood, and the excitement about her upcoming studio CD “New Siberia” (which she funded in large part through fan contributions at, Antje mixed new songs and old, original material and a few covers.


One story, which Antje described as crossing into the “TMI” category, explained why her voice sounded stronger than I remembered it not just from the last concert, but from both her amazing studio CD’s “Big Dream Boulevard” and “The Near Demise of the High Wire Dancer.”  It turns out that Antje had a number of polyps in her sinuses, and finally had been able to get the surgery she needed to completely remove them.  Aside from the pain and expense – and occasional streams of blood randomly flowing out of her nose, requiring trips back to the surgeon – she says life has taken on a whole new dimension for her.  She sounds better, fuller…and more importantly, she has regained her sense of smell, which had been pretty much dead for years.  When Antje was able to open a jar of strawberry preserves and smell the mixture of sweetness, tartness, and the special scent of the fruit itself she actually burst into tears of happiness.  Summing it up, Antje was very clear on one point: “Smelling ROCKS!”


Antje did have amusing issues with one song – her cover of David Carter’s “Cowboy Singer.”  When she first tried playing it, the lyrics suddenly were wiped from her mind beyond the first line or two.  She tried to click her mind back on track, but it didn’t work.  Of course, the audience just laughed and enjoyed it; Antje has a terrific ability to laugh at herself.  Instead, she promised to perform it after her break (when she could study the lyrics).  And just to be sure, she opened her second half with Cowboy Singer so she wouldn’t forget it!


I’m not sure how many of the new songs will make it to New Siberia, but certainly the title track and Ballad of Fred Noonan will.  Sweet Spot and Juliet may as well…it all depends on what else she has up her sleeve.  The Perfect Date has a good shot too.  When you are an independent artist like Antje, a lot of your songs appear on live CDs first (Live All Over the Place being her most recent) because they are much cheaper to produce.  Then you have to pick and choose which songs to do in the studio.  I can hardly wait to find out!


As the set finished up, Antje took requests shouted out from the crowd, which was a fun way to end things.  It did result in the odd finale of Anna, which – while beautiful – is a downbeat tune.  But as she explained when it was first suggested, it requires an open tuning which would take her forever to get back out of. 


Anybody who hasn’t given Antje Duvekot’s music a try should be ashamed.  Go to CDBaby or Amazon (or her website and try some of it out.  You can download a free file of “Vertigo” which was sort of the theme song to “The Near Demise….”  You can also find a lot of her performances on Youtube.  They’re worth a listen, but her studio work remains my favorite….but “Near Demise” and “Big Dream Boulevard” RIGHT NOW!  Then grab “Snapshots” if you want some of her older live material, “Live All Over the Place” for more recent performances (including some fun covers), and keep your eyes open for “New Siberia,” which should be out in a few months.  Plus, check out her upcoming shows.  They are usually concentrated in New England, but now and then she ventures outside the  comforts of home.  If she plays in your area, don’t miss it!  There are some special holiday shows with her “band of friends” Winterbloom on the way, which I’d love to see…but they’re all up in the northeast.  That’ll be a chance to see the great Meg Hutchinson too!  Oooh, that reminds me, on Antje’s website you can also download “(Merry Xmas) Thanks for the Roses” from the Winterbloom CD.  A great song!



Antje Duvekot’s Playlist


Reason Land

Cowboy Singer (David Carter cover) [1st try]

New Siberia

Ballad of Fred Noonan

Long Way


Dublin Boys





Cowboy Singer (David Carter cover) [2nd and successful try]


Diana’s Song

You’re Gonna Make Me Love You When You Leave (Bob Dylan cover)

The Landlady Song

Sweet Spot

Who’s Laughing Now (Gershwin cover)

Weary Bones

The Perfect Date





Hypothetical of the Month

Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1 - (From Andy Lischett) – A friend says that if you won’t go see “Mars Needs Moms” with him at the movie theater he will attack you in a current Diplomacy game.  Do you agree to go?  #2 – A gypsy curse is being put on you.  You have three choices: Loud, frequent flatulence (perhaps once every two minutes) which smells like lavender; silent flatulence about once every hour which smells horribly of rotten eggs; or a painful death sometime in the next 10 days if you fail to choose.


Melinda Holley - #1 –No, I don't go to the movie.  If he wants to attack me in a Dip game, then he'll attack.  'Course, he's screwed himself by warning me in advance.


#2 - Ok, right up front...#3 is out.  I'd go with #2 although my personal alternative is to come to some sort of accommodation with the gypsy.


Richard Walkerdine - #1 - No 1: No I do not go to the movie. I am a good enough player (he says modestly) to know that if he attacks I will slaughter him.


#2 - I ignore them all. Gypsy curses are a load of nonsense (a bit like religion really) and so I will just walk away.


[[Hence, you have chosen #3.  Nice knowing you.]]


Andy York - #1 - Nope, and I'd never play in a game with him again. I'd also let the GM know of the out-of-game coercion.


#2 - OK, you finally have one that isn't "A" or "B" but has a default result. However, since I do not believe in gypsy curses, I'll have to say "I don't care and abstain from choosing" (even if I end up with a painful death within 10 days).


[[You live closer, so if you and Richard Walkerdine have funerals on the same day I’ll go to yours.]]


Tom Howell - #1 - Show me the review, then I'll decide.  Given how many movies we've been to in the last ....  (I think the Johnny Cash movie was the last one we went to.),  I'll probably tell him to go right ahead.  Then

organize an attack on him - a preemptive attack.


#2 - Well...Doug!  You’re really reaching for this stuff!  If that Gypsy really has any power, you can read my obituary sometime week after next.   :~


Jack McHugh - #1 - Hah! I've heard worse threats during pickup games among teenage girls---I laugh in his face and say, "Bring it, biatch!"


#2 - You mean I can't take all three???? Bummer...


Phil Murphy - #1 - Not a chance. Even a Diplomacy player has limits to what he will agree to. *shudder*


#2 – Silent flatulence. I can always blame it on the drains.


Dave McCrumb - #1 - No. They obviously don’t get that this is a game. They are trying to treat it as part of everyday life. They would no longer be a friend.


#2 - Second choice. Working out in the barn you might not even realize there was a problem.  J


Kevin Tighe - #1 - Attack away baby.  I will never see Mars Needs Moms.  It is ugly animation and a horrible plot.


#2 - I ask the gypsy to make me a vampire with a soul.  A vampire with a soul who has lavender farts.


Heather Taylor - #1 – No.  Two hours of my life and many murdered brain cells are much more important than a stupid game.


#2 – I’ll take the loud lavender flatulence and try to invent some kind of muffler for my ass.  I’d also try to find a job where I could work from home.


For Next Month (For the time being, I am usually selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: #1 – You find a wallet in the parking lot of a large department store.  It is wet, and it hasn’t rained since last night, so you can assume it has been there since yesterday.  There is no identification inside.  All you find is a scratch lottery ticket (a $1 winner, it seems), a receipt from a local store for a pack of cigarettes, and $56 in cash.  What do you do with it?  #2 – You sit on a city council board.  The voting districts in the region must be realigned.  The proposal that makes the most sense to you in terms of population growth and geographic separation also happens to be the one which some minority groups claim is discriminatory against them because it scatters their votes into multiple districts instead of concentrating them in one or two.  Do you vote for the proposal?



The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews


No movies this month!  A few we wanted to see, but they’ll have to wait for October or DVD.


Seen on DVD – The Fugitive (A-, as long as you don’t watch it too often it is hard to ever tire of this movie).  Dexter Season 5 (B+, there is still some freshness in the series, and the writers do what they can to add unseen twists and leave some questions unanswered.  Julia Stiles, after a few stumbles, brought some extra power to this season.  She did a very good job.)  Army of Darkness (B, the 3rd Evil Dead film, originally to be called Medieval Dead, is over-the-top camp, but still good for laughs.  Which reminds me, does anybody know if the Evil Dead musical playing in Oklahoma is going to tour?)  Wild Target (B+, Nighy always finds his way into these terrific comedies, this one a British remake of a French farce.  Worth watching!)  Close Encounters of the Third Kid Director’s Cut (B+, a film that holds up surprising well after over three decades).


100 Movies to See Before You Die

An Eternal Sunshine List Challenge


Yahoo Films (part of the Yahoo online pages) has posted two lists of movies “to see before you die.”  The first list was composed of mostly classic film choices, while the “modern” list was 100 films from 1990 onward.  You can find their lists at: and at  Some of these choices I agree with, and some I think are completely off the mark.  So I issued a challenge to each of you: Submit to me the 100 Movies to See Before You Die that would make your list.  The lists could be submitted all at once, or 10 films at a time.  Any comments on your choices (or future comments on the choices of other people) are encouraged.  After 10 issues I plan on publishing a complete list of all films included on any list, as well as a count of how many lists each appeared on. I am offering prizes: two of the respondents who submit a full complement of 100 movies (whether all at once or 10 per issue) will be selected at random for prizes.  So to win, all you have to do is play.


Next issue: The sixth set of 10 movies from each of you, and from me (more movies if you missed either of the previous rounds).  Please note: These films are not meant to be placed in order by you, from top to bottom, unless you want to do that for some reason.



Richard Walkerdine:


1.    Excalibur (a dream for some, a nightmare for others)

2.    Independence Day (actually Mr. President that's not entirely correct)

3.    The Fellowship Of The Ring (Fool of a Took!)

4.    Sunday Bloody Sunday (Do you have oregano? Oh no I get a checkup every month)

5.    For A Few Dollars More (I thought I had a problem with my arithmetic, but it's okay now)

6.    Rocky 2 (Adrienne, I did it!)

7.    Galaxy Quest (best Star Trek spoof ever)

8.    Kill Bill (either one will do)

9.    V For Vendetta ( I have a full set of the original comic book series)

10.  Saving Private Ryan (the buzz of the bullets in the water is just amazing)


Kevin Wilson:


Last time I covered one of my (embarrassingly) favorite genres, romantic comedies.  This time, I'll catch up on my first love, science fiction.


1.  Alien - the first real horror/sci fi movie that I liked.  I usually don't go in for the horror/gory genre but I really like Alien.  Of course, the gore was somewhat limited, compared to slasher movies, so maybe it isn't truly a movie of that genre but it was scary.  The whole setting just made it creepy and fun.  And the science in the science fiction was fun too.


2.  Jurassic Park - a really fun concept and fun watch.  I didn’t care near as much for the sequels even if the effects were better.  The first just had some magic the sequels failed to continue.  My favorite scene is when the gang in the jeep is being pursued by the T-Rex, the driver looks in the mirror and the words "Objects in the mirror may be closer than they seem" shows.  That's good fun.


3.  2001:  A Space Odyssey - this one blew me away as a kid.  Growing up, all we had was Star Trek.  2001 set a new high water mark and clinched my interest in the genre ever since.  While I know find the movie slow, everything else about it still holds my attention.


4.  Close Encounters of the Third Kind - simply fun.  I still find the 5-note ditty running through my head now and then.


5.  ET the Extra-Terrestrial - feel good and entertaining.


6.  Independence Day - Don't mess around with a Will Smith.


7.  Star Trek (2009 re-boot) - I think I'll always have a fondness for anything Trek.  This was a good re-start, other than what happened to Vulcan.


8.  Blade Runner - one that will likely make any the list of anyone who enjoys sci fi movies. 


9.  Inception - a recent add.  Very entertaining.  The layers within layers made you think and the concept, at least to me, was very original.


10.  The Wizard of Oz - OK, not sci fi, but fantastic fiction none-the-less.  I can't wait until my kids are old enough to have an interest in the stories.


Paraic Reddington:


One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest



Pulp Fiction

Raging Bull

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Rain Man

Rear Window

Rebel Without a Cause



Larry Cronin:


West Side Story

Across the Universe

Singing in the Rain

Don't Look back

Hard Day's Night

I'm Not There

Wild Strawberries

Smiles of a Summer's Night

The Seventh Seal

The Magician


Douglas Kent:


Planes, Trains, and Automobiles



The Exorcist

Mulholland Drive

Blue Velvet

Hot Fuzz

Glengarry Glen Ross


Gregory's Girl


Brad Wilson:


1.    Once Upon a Time in the West (brilliant casting, Henry Fonda as the evil villain)

2.    The French Connection

3.    Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

4.    The Magnificent Ambersons (if anybody ever found the final reel... wowza)

5.    Hamlet (Kenneth Branagh version)

6.    Diamonds are Forever (bold, brassy Bond)

7.    Touchez Pas Au Grisbi (French gangsters at their best; Tommy guns in Lanson Champagne cases)

8.    Dirty Harry

9.    Army of Shadows (terrific film on the French Resistance in World War II)

10.  The Pink Panther


Heather Taylor:


Gypsy 83


The Fugitive

Grease 2

Holy Smoke

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Silence of the Lambs


The Shining

Hot Fuzz


Jack McHugh:


These are movies about the world of business in no particular order.

1.    The Hudsucker Proxy—One of Paul Newman's last on-screen roles and another Coen Brother's classic. Tim Robbins and Jennifer Jason Leigh were wonderful and the set really brings a 1950's NY look to the screen. I especially enjoyed the scene where a confused Tim Robbins has been hired by Hudsucker industries in the mail room and is being told what his duties are while rushing through the huge factory floor pushing a cart full of mail and constantly being handed more with specific instructions ("this needs to be on the third floor by 11 am!") that Robbins will obviously never remember and every time the guy finishes an instruction he barks to a confused Robbins if you make a mistake doing these inane rituals or forgetting any of this information, "THEY DOCK YOU!"

2.    Executive Suite--a William Holden vehicle with a fantastic supporting cast which takes business seriously but doesn't reduce it to a simple formula of good versus evil, very nuanced.

3.    Gentleman's Agreement--Gregory Peck plays a reporter who pretends to be Jewish while trying to get a job to find out the truth about bigotry. Made just two years (1947) after the end of WWII and the Holocaust.

4.    Wall Street--Oliver Stone's classic with Michael Douglas in his signature role of Wall Street raider Gordon Gekko and Bud Fox played by Charlie Sheen before Sheen gave up acting to become a full time drug/sex addict. By the way, the new Wall Street movie--Money Never Sleeps, is terrible. I watched and waited through the entire movie for a plot I could understand or a character I cared about and neither showed up.

5.    The Boiler Room--first time I saw Giovanni Ribsi as the lead in a movie about a company that pumps up penny stock and profits by selling it off before the value crashes. Ribsi is very good as a intelligent college drop out who gives up his illegal casino that he runs out of his apartment to join a real company only to eventually figure out, to his horror, that his new company is not only much more illegal than his old company but is actually stealing from its own customer. In the most ironic scene of the movie Ribsi does a voice over where he compares his old "illegal" casino was actually delivering a service its clients wanted and knew up front exactly what the odds were and how much they were winning and losing. In contrast to his "real" job where clients were pressured into buying stocks they didn't want and had no clue about the risks.

6.    The Aviator--I really enjoyed Leonardo DiCaprio as Howard Hughes in director Martin Scorsese's flick, as I thought the story was well edited and written as well as it follows Hughes from his first big movie in Hell's Angels down to his getting his huge airplane, the Hercules off the ground after World War II as well as his attempts to expand his empire by taking over TWA and breaking Pan Am's monopoly on overseas flying. Alan Aida, Kate Beckinsale, Cate Blanchett, John C. Reily and Alec Baldwin are all great as the supporting cast. My only complaint was I wished the movie had followed Hughes for the rest of his life as I was really enthralled by the movie and didn't want it to end.

7.    Too Big To Fail--HBO's movie on the financial meltdown of 2008-2009 that lead to our current recession. I enjoyed this movie but I also felt that he was kind of whitewash of business and government in that the movie never really points out that all of these governmental regulators and banking titans that are busy saving the world economy in the movie, are the same idiots who got us into the mess in the first place. It also completely ignores some interesting ethical dilemmas such as executive pay or the fallout for home owners who, unlike the banks, aren't getting bailed by the US government.

8.    A Face in the Crowd--Director Elia Kazan's story of a young hobo (Andy Griffen) Lonesome Rhodes, who becomes a demigod who goes beyond being a mere pitch man to being a king maker by attempting to use his influence to get politicians elected and thus beholden to him. Patricia Neal plays the tormented reporter cum girlfriend/manager who finds Griffin's character and see him for what he really is and not the image he portrays on his TV show and is racked by her guilt for discovering Lonesome in the first place. In many ways this movie, made in 1957, was about 20 to 50 years ahead of its time as it foresees the development and manipulation of TV characters who cross over into other areas and mediums that we see today.

9.    The Insider--Al Pacino and Russell Crowe are fantastic in this movie as they play a TV news producer for 60 Minutes and a professional scientist working for the tobacco companies. A bit slow moving but worth tolerating the longish running time of over two and half hours.

10.  Roger and Me--Yes Michael Moore makes leftie polemics but his first one about his pursuit of GM chairman Roger Smith is hilarious and poignant and made before Moore became a blowhard. Now of course Moore's movies are somewhat repetitive and he goes around asking people to not become what he is, a guy with several homes and cars who probably consumes more fossil fuel than most third world cities. Roger & Me was Moore's first movie and thus much of these techniques, which he still uses and are now stale, were fresh and innovative. Moore himself is still charmingly working class as he explains in a funny sequence in the movie how he had a disagreement at his last employer and it was resolved by Moore moving back home with his parents to make this movie.

Andy Lischett:


I am delinquent, but can only add 1... Captain Blood, with Errol Flynn.


John Biehl:


The Great Escape


It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World (original)

Gone with the Wind

The Grapes of Wrath

On the Waterfront

Rain Man

Gorky Park

Das Boot

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denistovich


Comments; I'd forgotten about Gorky Park until someone mentioned it - a good movie. On the subject of soviet Russia (whence Gorky Park is placed) a not to be missed film (although very dismal) is One Day in the Life of Ivan Denistovitch. Das Boot is plain excellent and the acting is not 'over the top' as someone opines - if you want overacting (and not in just one movie either) just look at Matthew McConahie in that phony and totally untrue sub movie about Americans capturing the German Enigma Coding Machine. On an up note - I thought Steve McQueen did a masterful acting job in Papillon where it is a single prison escaper rather than the group as in The Great Escape.


Kevin Tighe:


My children are now almost grown so I've had a decade of viewing films they liked to watch over and over.  Though since I buy the films I get to choose the ones I'm willing to see dozens of times.  That list is very small.  It's this list. 


Toy Story - I've been a Pixar fan since Luxo Jr.  Mostly I like it because I played with these toys.


Incredibles - Expecting an action adventure I got a compelling family drama, too.  Holly Hunter has the best voice.


Iron Giant - Brad Bird wrote and directed this one, then he was hired to do Incredibles.


Pinnochio - The most beautifully animated movie I've ever seen.


Secret of the Roan Inish - John Sayles film about an Irish family that had to leave their island and the two children who try to bring them back.  There are seals, selkies, and a baby in a floating crib. Hard to explain but you will enjoy it.


Wizard of Oz - Flying monkeys:  scariest creatures ever!


Princess Bride - Provides endless quotes for everyday life and lots of left handed sword fighting.


Up - I wasn't expecting to cry in the first 10 minutes.  That's some good writing.


Labyrinth - Muppets, Terry Jones script, David Bowie's pants and weird songs.  How can it miss?


Muppet Treasure Island - Stays very close to the book. Tim Curry is an excellent Long John Silver and well, muppets are always fun.



You Don't Know Me

The Eternal Sunshine Interview


Again, no interview this month…Tom Howell’s suggestion had email trouble.  Maybe next time!  Plus Per Westling is working on one for me.


In the meantime, I really need some suggestions for future interviews.  They need to be people not involved in the Diplomacy hobby.  That is the only requirement.  They can have any kind of job, or be retired, unemployed…none of that matters.  Just someone you know who you think might make an interesting subject for other readers; I’ve underlined that because one reader didn’t quite understand what I have been asking.  I am looking for suggestion of people YOU know that I don’t…then you can make the introduction and I can interview them. 


Thanks again to Per Westling, Andy York and Tom Howell for their suggestions.  What about the rest of you?  A little help please!



23 Tunes!


23 Tunes Game

Here are the rules for 23 TUNES. You send me three tunes for the first turn, and then two tunes in each of the last ten turns for a total of 23. If you missed the first turn, you can still catch up by sending five tunes next issue, and guess on submitters to this issue. Actually, you can send all 23 tunes at once if you want to, but then you’ll need to remember to guess everyone else’s each month.  I am also submitting my tunes. After we're done, I'd like to exchange CD's/Tapes for as many of the tunes players as possible, but this is not required. I'll be sending the winner my 23 Tune list. The winner is determined by having you guess each issue who submitted what list (I will tell you who the submitters are). For each song you get right (except those you submitted yourself), you get a point, you also can win bonus points from me for really cool tune selections. That's it, not complicated. I hope by starting this up, we'll get more to join. So, put simply…you send in the name and artist of songs you really like or have special meaning to you.  I print 3 of them the first turn, and 2 year turn after that (you can submit that way, or send in all 23 at once, or anything in between).  Each issue I list the songs for that turn, without revealing who submitted which song.  I also print a list of who submitted songs (again, without telling you which songs they sent in).  Your mission is to match the people with the songs (but no points for your own).  Simple.  And I’ll offer other prizes as well, to be determined later.  If you miss a turn, make it up my sending enough songs to catch up with the other players (and the overdue songs will simply be revealed immediately).


23 Tunes - Round Seven


1.    Baby it's Cold Outside - Ray Charles and Betty Carter – Rick Desper.  Correct: GK.

2.    Baby, Now That I’ve Found You - Alison Krauss – Dave McCrumb.  Correct: AL.

3.    Battle Hymn of the Republic – Traditional – Andy York.  Correct: AL, MB.

4.    Black Coffee in Bed – Squeeze – Douglas Kent.  Correct: PR.

5.    Cold Shot - Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble – Hank Alme.  Correct: AL.

6.    Dance With the Devil - Braking Benjamin – Amber Smith.

7.    Fortunate Fool - Jack Johnson – Hank Alme.

8.    Have You Ever Seen The Rain - Creedence Clearwater Revival – Richard Walkerdine “Just watch that episode of 'Stargate' where it is featured. Correct: AL.

9.    Hiroshima mon Amour - John Foxx – Martin Burgdorf.  Correct: AL.

10.  James Brown - Cabaret Voltaire – Martin Burgdorf.

11.  Jet Airliner - Steve Miller Band – Douglas Kent.  Correct: AL.

12.  Lovesong - The Cure – Heather Taylor.

13.  Night of the Vampire – Moontrekkers – Geoff Kemp.  Correct: AL, MB.

14.  Power in the Darkness - The Tom Robinson Band – Jim Burgess.  Correct: AL.

15.  She's Not There – Santana – Geoff Kemp.

16.  Sunny Came Home - Shawn Colvin – Heather Taylor.

17.  The Bounty Hunter - Mike Cross – Dave McCrumb.

18.  The Motorcycle Song - Arlo Guthrie – Andy Lischett.

19.  Tooty Fruity - Little Richard – Andy Lischett.

20.  Uptown Girl - Billy Joel – Amber Smith.  Douglas Kent “Probably in my bottom five Billy Joel songs ever.”

21.  Wake Up It's a Beautiful Morning- The Boo Radleys – Jim Burgess.

22.  We Didn't Start The Fire - Billy Joel – Richard Walkerdine “just ahead of 'Uptown Girl' as his best ever song.”  Douglas Kent “Probably my all-time least favorite Billy Joel song.”

23.  When Johnny Comes Marching Home – Traditional – Andy York.  Correct: AL, MB.

24.  You Can Leave Your Hat On - Joe Cocker – Rick Desper.  Correct: AL, PR, MB.


Scores This Round – Andy Lischett [AL] – 10 (highest score for one round this entire game, I believe); Martin Burgdorf [MB] – 4; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 2; Geoff Kemp [GK] – 1.


Total Scores (of those who submitted at least some guesses in any round): Andy Lischett [AL] – 28; Martin Burgdorf [MB] – 24; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 22; Geoff Kemp [GK] – 18; Jim Burgess [JB] – 15; Richard Walkerdine [RW] – 14; Phil Murphy [PM] – 10; Mark Firth [MF] – 7; Brendan Whyte [BW] – 7; Melinda Holley [MH] – 6; Hank Alme [HA] – 6; Kevin Tighe [KT] – 6; Chris Babcock [CB] – 5; Marc Ellinger [ME] – 4; Amber Smith [AS] – 1. 


23 Tunes - Round Eight


Submitting songs this issue are: Andy Lischett, Andy York, David McCrumb, Douglas Kent, Geoff Kemp, Hank Alme, Heather Taylor, Martin Burgdorf, Amber Smith, Richard Walkerdine, Paraic Reddington. 


1.    Abracadabra - Steve Miller Band

2.    Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers

3.    Amanda - Waylon Jennings

4.    Can't Get it Out of My Head - ELO

5.    Death of a Clown - Dave Davies

6.    Fat Bottom Girls - Queen

7.    God Bless America - Traditional

8.    I Ain't Drunk - Albert Collins

9.    I Saw the Light - Roy Acuff and the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

10.  M - The Cure

11.  Misunderstanding - Genesis

12.  Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven

13.  Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

14.  Sometimes Always - The Jesus and Mary Chain

15.  Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills, and Nash

16.  Street Life - Crusaders

17.  Surprise, Surprise - Brett Dennen

18.  Sweet Home Alabama - Lynard Skynard

19.  The Hardest Button to Button - The White Stripes

20.  The Star Spangled Banner - Traditional

21.  Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves

22.  When The Levee Breaks - Led Zepplin


Deadline for the next round of 23 Tunes is October 24th at 7pm my time.

That’s the day BEFORE the regular zine deadline.



Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column


Amber Smith: YAY - my ESI is at 54!


[[Must be a typo.]]


Thought it should be mentioned how funny the jokes were for Jack's portion. "If I can offend someone at least that will make it a minor success." : I wasn't offended but highly amused. Counts for something right? I just wanna thank him for putting it together :)


[[I told him, but since you’re a female he doesn’t consider your opinion of any value.]]


Claire Walkerdine putting her two-cents in? I was excited to see the addition to the Heartthrob list by a female!!! Clint Eastwood? Sort of funny because I just received my net-flix DVDs and one of them happens to be Dead Pool (wanted to see it when Douglas told me it was a movie after his game opening to ES), I think I'll have to watch that this evening now.


Andy Lischett: My mother, my sisters and neices all love Johnny Depp.


I go to a lot of houses fixing air conditioining and furnaces. A couple of years ago I went to the home of a divorced mother and her three high-school and college-aged daughters. After finishing my work I was in the kitchen as the youngest daughter was writing out a check, and on the refrigerator was a picture of Richard Gere. Making conversation, I asked, "Which of you like Richard Gere?" "All of us!" enthused the girl, "He's the best!"


"Better than Johnny Depp?" I asked.


"No!!! Nobody's better than Johnny Depp! I love Johnny Depp!"


"Even with the mascara?"


“ESPECIALLY with the mascara!"


[[You mean my habit of wearing mascara is coming back in style?]]


Richard Walkerdine: First off in reply to Andy York I would like to remind him that there is only One True Hobby, of which we are all members. There is also only One True Ring (just ask Bilbo, Frodo and Sauron). But equally there is also only One True Sport - and that is cricket.


Tom Howell: I called [a friend] today.  He says he's been having e-mail trouble, but thinks it's cleared up.  There seems to have been quite a bit of that around here lately.  It seems to have started when the local phone company (which bought USWest eight or ten years ago) got bought by (the last phone bill says they "merged with") Century(Tel)Link.  I can't keep up with this non-sense.  While most of the problems I've heard about haven't proven to be attributable to the "merger", I know of at least one where the problem was fixed by a call to the phone company.  I've had several problems with my e-mail.  The easiest to fix was something the phone company messed up.  What had been a local call to my ISP (Yes, Virginia, I'm still on dial-up.) suddenly wasn't.  Fortunately, I was able to just call another (local) number. 


Jim Burgess hates football?  Who'da thunk it?  Guess I'll have to give him some good-guy credits after all...


[[I think he’s just pretending to, the way Andy York pretends not to like cats.]]


Tom Howell: Re the ESI:  Did I mention to you that when I was on the Jr. College track team, I could win the mile and the three mile in one meet and not have a chance competing for the most points earned by a team member? Some sprinter would  win the 100, 220, pick up at least some points in the long jump, and split the winning points in the quarter mile relay, and maybe the mile relay, too.  That was frustrating...


On the College track team, on the other hand, we went to one meet where I picked up about a third of our teams points as a middle distance/distance runner.  That's a dual meet - just two teams.  That was depressing...


In the gripping hand, we have ESI.  That's just silly.


[[Not as silly as the Department of Silly Walks.  Are you suggesting the Colonel will come in and stop the ESI for being too silly?]]


Per Westling: I do not buy music anymore.  Instead I pay a flat rate and listen however much I want, and the artists get paid by which tunes I listen to. But I still do mostly listen to "albums", that is collections of tunes by artists. In some cases other people create play lists, similar to the "mix tapes" of years ago. So, you can get improvements by putting tunes from different artists together. Listening to such collections, and also listening to singles, often lead me to new artists, which I then locate albums and listen to more from.


Dane Maslen: I'm still struggling to come up with my next 10 films, currently having only six.


I've been recording various possible candidates as they've been shown on TV.  Mostly they are films that I liked when I first saw them long ago but which I don't feel confident I would now rank in a list of 100 films one really ought to see.  I'm rather slow at working through the backlog and of the five that I've so far watched, there is only one (A Clockwork Orange) made the grade.


It's quite likely that in the end I shall be reduced to listing the remaining candidate films simply because I've not had time to eliminate them.  Even then my list will probably only run to about 50 films.


[[I do appreciate how serious and careful some of you are being about your film lists.  Heather mentioned to me that she wanted to add The English Patient, which I know she hated.  When I asked her why, she said because the thing is so long, boring, and pointless it should be watched before you die because it would make death a welcome release.  I don’t think that is exactly the point of these lists.]]




The Twisting Tale


This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words.  If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up.  We need more particpants!  Email me at if you’d like to participate!


Chapter 7 by Kevin Tighe


“Who is Thomas Paine?  What is Cape Mendocino?  What is Steinway?  Who was Jack the Ripper?  Do you want any pretzels?”


“Oh, um, no Joe, I’m fine.”


Joe sat on the lime green couch staring ahead at the glowing peach colored TV set.  His right thumb moved down and up before he gave a question.  “You sure, I have the curly ones ‘What is blood red?’ and those little pretzel sticks. Plus there are whole wheat pretzel crackers and a bowl ‘What is Sea Bass?’ of M&M’s with a pretzel inside it.  Now how do they ever think of ‘Who is Summer Glau?’ those things, huh?”


“Joe.  Why am I here, Joe?”


“Just a sec, it’s a Daily Double.  Oh, what is Newton’s 2nd Law of Thermodynamics?  So how do you like your tea?  Want more sugar or a lemon wedge.  How about a little milk?  I have 2%, soy, and ‘What is Tierra Del Fuego?’ goat, or how about an ice cube?  No?  Look, I’ll answer all your questions right ‘What is your money or your life?’ after Final Jeopardy.”


“I only have the one question, Joe.”


“Oh, look, it’s on U. S. history!  This should be easy.”



At the same time in Astoria, Oregon.


Les gathers up the few papers he has left about the project.  The project used to make him feel so good and worthwhile.  Now that the bodies are piling up he wishes, what?  No time for wishing, it’s time to leave. 


He looks around wistfully at the interior of his little rustic house.  The wooden floors he spent weeks putting down, the oak table and chairs where they worked through the nights solving the many problems of the project. 

The pine breakfast nook where he and Emily would often, no, got to stay focused. 


Let’s see, briefcase, ipad and where is that laptop?  I wish Bob answered his phone. Laptop, laptop, where, where, where.  Then he sees it on the elm coffee table.  The last email message is still flashing.  “I love you.”  He slams it closed and stuffs it into the briefcase.


Les takes one more look around the room.  My god, this place will burn white hot.  He heads to the front door, but it opens before he can reach it.    


A large tall man enters wearing a pin-striped suit, mirror sunglasses, white gloves and rubber boots.  Les stumbles backward into the coffee table and tumbles over.  Looking up he sees the unsmiling man reach into his pocket and pull something out. 


“I know who you are,” whispers Les, “I didn’t expect you so soon.”


The well dressed man put his right index finger up to his closed mouth while his left hand readies the syringe.  He bends over Les and pushes.



“So what do you think the answer is, hmmm?   ‘The first immigration law passed by Congress’, come on you should know this one.”


“Joe, I really have no idea.  Please don’t do the tune.”


“Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee, what this tune?  Dee dee dee dee DEE deedeedeedeedee. You’re running out of time.” Tick tock, tick tock, what’s the answer?”

“I don’t frigging know the frigging answer.”


“Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 and did you just say ‘frigging’?  Don’t make up words.”


“Joe, why am I here?”


“Why?  Why?  Because I have a very special job for you.  Yes, a very special job.”


Next up – Douglas Kent






Eternal Sunshine Index – ESI

A Scientific Measure of Zine Health

Current Index: 49.37 +0.26%






The Eternal Sunshine Index is a stock-market-like index of the zine. You don’t do anything in this game, except write press or commentary on price movements (or why you think your stock should have gone up or down).  I move the prices beginning with next issue based on my own private formula of quantity and quality zine participation (NMR’s, press, columns, etc.).  Any new zine participants become new issues valued at at 50, but the stock for anyone who disappears will remain listed.  The average of all listed stocks will result in the ESI closing value each month, which will be charted issue to issue after we have a few months’ worth of data.  If you don’t like the stock symbol I have assigned you, you may petition the exchange to change it.  Blame Phil Murphy for suggesting this section to me.


Market Commentary: The falling stones are reaching closer to the bottom.  Meanwhile, despite a few regrettable NMR’s, additional participation in the Lifeboat and Hypothetical Question sections brought the index as a whole to slightly higher ground.




% +/-

AJK - Allison Kent



ALM - Hank Alme



AMB - Amber Smith



AND - Lance Anderson



BAB - Chris Babcock



BIE - John Biehl



BRG - Martin Burgdorf



BWD - Brad Wilson



CAK - Andy Lischett



CAL - Cal White



CHC - Chuy Cronin



CIA - Tom Swider



CKW - Kevin Wilson



CKY - Carol Kay



DAN - Dane Maslen



DBG - David Burgess



DTC - Brendan Whyte



DUK - Don Williams



FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer



FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois



FRT - Mark Firth



GRA - Graham Wilson



HDT - Heather Taylor



HLJ - Harley Jordan



HPL - Hugh Polley



JOD - Jeff O'Donnell



KMP - Geoff Kemp



KVT - Kevin Tighe



LAT - David Latimer



LCR - Larry Cronin



MCC - David McCrumb



MCR - Michael Cronin



MIM - Michael Moulton



MRC - Marc Ellinger



OTS - Tom Howell



PER - Per Westling



PJM - Phil Murphy



QUI - Michael Quirk



RAC - Robin ap Cynan



RDP - Rick Desper



REB - Melinda Holley



RED - Paraic Reddington



SAK - Jack McHugh



TAP - Jim Burgess



VOG - Pat Vogelsang



WAY - W. Andrew York



WLK - Richard Walkerdine



WWW - William Wood



YLP - Paul Milewski











Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh –

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #35




I finally found a contract-for-hire position, which I just started this week.  I don’t want to imply I think there is any hope in the universe, but at least I won’t have to go on food stamps yet.  I’d like to thank all of you who helped me find this position, or who supported me while I was unemployed.  Unfortunately, there is nobody that fits those qualifications.  None of you suck-holes did a damn thing for me, and don’t think I’m gonna forget it.  When things get tough, you find out who your real friends are.  Guess what?  YOU are not one of them! 


Anyway, I have to work this Saturday and study work material on Sunday, so I don’t have a lot of time to do this column.  I was considering offering a new game of Adults-Only By Popular Demand, but that would take effort, and none of you deserve it.  I will say that I signed up for Doug’s opening of Youngstown IV, and if you have any balls you’ll do the same.  Sackie-poo has been bugging me to write an article on the variant for Diplomacy World, but I want to play in a game first since I haven’t played it for years.  It takes ten people, which means there are probably nine spots left.  Sign up, and plan on either being my ally or my toady.


I hope everything else in this column offends you.  Drop dead.


A black guy, a Muslim, and a Communist go into a bar.


The bartender asks, "What can I get you, Mr. President?"   


Because there are no mosques in Venice, the local government has allowed the Italian Muslims to pray in the streets.



So far 543 have drowned.

I had a terrible nightmare last week. In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror  on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am black, and I'm circumcised!

Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color, black.

I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair.

But it's a wheelchair!

That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled!   I said to myself, aloud 'This is impossible! It's impossible that I should be black and Jewish and disabled!'

'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me.

I turn around, and it's my boyfriend.

Just what I needed!!! I am a homosexual, and on top of that, with a Mexican boyfriend.

Oh, my God .... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive!!!

Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and Oh, nooooo...I'm bald!!!

The telephone rings. It's my brother. He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died, the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job, you worthless piece of crap... Any job!'

Mom? Dad? Nooooo ... Now I'm also an unemployed orphan!

I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan, but he doesn't get it.

Frustrated, I hang up. It's then I realize I only have one hand!!! With tears in my eyes, I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker.... Pacemaker??  Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a homosexual with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one
hand, and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood.

At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, “Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided what you are going to wear to Washington for the Obama fundraiser?”

Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug-addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend, but please, dear God, please don't tell me I'm a Democrat!!!!


Then I woke up.  I was simply a white, fat, unemployed loser living in a house I can’t afford, with a car that barely runs, a wife who hates me, a dog that pees everywhere, and no prospects whatsoever.  But that’s still better than the nightmare.



I get irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying that they don't care about or respect others. Well, here is a story that clearly shows not all cops are in that category.


This story involves the police department in the small hill country town of Fredericksburg, TX who reported finding a man's body last Saturday in the early evening in the Pedernales River near the State Highway-87 bridge. The dead man's name would not be released until his family had been notified.


The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption while visiting "someone" in Kerrville.  He was wearing black fishnet stockings, 10 inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, purple lipstick, dazzle dust on his eyelids,  2 1/2 inch false eyelashes and an Obama T-shirt.


The police removed the Obama T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.


See there, Texas police do care!




A Story All Women Will Enjoy

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips, in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. 


As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.   With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. 


Resuming the journey, Sally tried - in vain - to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.  The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. 


"What in bag?" asked the old woman.   Sally looked down at the brown bag and said:  "It's a bottle of wine.  I got it for my husband."   


The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. 


Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:  "Good trade…"



A man, doing market research, knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?'


She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'


'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'


'We use it for sex.'


The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?'


The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all, my husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.'





A game of survival, bad breath, and fish odor…



This is the simple game of Lifeboat.  Everyone plays this, whether you participate or not.  Each turn everyone still alive in the lifeboat may make a single vote to throw someone off the lifeboat, or a single vote to remove one vote from yourself (a defensive measure).  The high vote getter is thrown overboard, as well as any player getting 2 or more net votes (due to the damage caused when Sanka was tossed overboard).  In a tie, everyone with that score is thrown over.  Last one in the boat wins.  I’ll probably give a prize, as usual.  Press is encouraged.  Note that the votes themselves are NOT revealed.  I just simply announce who is thrown overboard.  If you’re not listed as in the lifeboat right now but want to be, email me and I will add you next issue.  If you are listed and don’t’ want to be…well, too bad.  There is no suicide in this game; you just can ignore it if you want to. 


Currently in the lifeboat:


Allison Kent

Amber Smith

Andy Lischett

Brad Wilson

Brendan Whyte

Cal White

Carol Kay

Chuy Cronin

Dane Maslen

David Burgess

David Latimer

David McCrumb

Don Williams

Fred Wiedemeyer

Geoff Kemp

Graham Wilson

Hank Alme

Harley Jordan

Heather Taylor

Hugh Polley

Jeff O'Donnell

Jeremie Lefrancois

Jim Burgess

John Biehl

Kayza the Dog

Kevin Tighe

Kevin Wilson

Lance Anderson

Larry Cronin

Marc Ellinger

Mark Firth

Martin Burgdorf

Melinda Holley

Michael Cronin

Michael Moulton

Michael Quirk

Pat Vogelsang

Paul Milewski

Per Westling

Phil Murphy

Rick Desper

Robin ap Cynan

Tom Howell

Tom Swider

William Wood


Toby the Helpful Kitty likes to snuggle…but Andy York gets tired Toby’s claws digging his claws into his legs, so he tosses Toby over the side.  Unfortunately, Toby grabs hold of Andy’s shirt, and the resulting scratches cause Andy to lose his balance and splash face-first into the sea.  A shark swims by and gulps down Andy’s head, leaving the rest of his corpse floating away…maybe to a nice resort island?  Toby hopes so.  In the meantime, he curls up on Andy’s back and takes a nap.


Thrown Into the Shark Infested Waters: Douglas Kent, Jack McHugh, Richard Walkerdine, Chris Babcock, Paraic Reddington, Sanka the Cat, Andy York, Toby the Helpful Kitty.



Allison Kent: I vote to throw Off David Latimer.  There are too many David's and it may get confusing when we have to start eating each other.  I picked that David because his last name reminds me of Bill Cosby's pen's name on Picture Pages.  Of course, I don't remember that name, but I think it rhymes with Latimer.


Anonymous:  Someone trim the claws on those pets.  Then, throw out the dog before the Kitty.


Anonymous: The boat should start emptying quite quickly now.  I think Andy York might get lonely if he weren't thrown overboard, so purely in the interests of saving him from that terrible fate, I'll try to help him join the multitude in the water.


PHILIP MURPHY TO ALL:  All the medicinal whiskey is gone. Life is merciless and without hope. Goodbye, everyone... I shall buy you a drink if I see you again in the next life... or at least ask you to buy me one...


Deadline for your vote and any press is October 25th at 7:00am my time



by Richard Walkerdine


A priest in a small village, as a hobby, kept chickens in a shed behind the church. One day he went out to feed them and noticed that the cockerel was missing. He had heard rumours of cock-fighting events in the village and was very concerned.


The next Sunday, before starting his sermon, he said to his congregation, “Has anyone here seen a cock?”


All of the women (and a couple of the men) put up their hands.


“Oh no, no,” said the priest, “I didn’t mean it that way. Has anyone here got a cock?”


All of the men put up their hands.




“Oh dear,” said the priest, “I’m not explaining this the way I meant. Let me try again. Has anyone here seen someone else’s cock?”


About a third of the women put up their hands.


The priest was almost in despair. “No, no,” he gasped, “this just isn’t coming out the way I intended. Let me try one last time.” He paused for breath as he gathered his thoughts. “Has anyone here seen my cock?”




…All the choirboys put up their hands.



by Richard and Claire Walkerdine

A bit from both of us this month as, to be honest, I’m running out of girls (and I never thought I would say that!). But I am sure you will be able to work out which is which. But to start with we have the superb Kate Bush.


To some extent this is a tribute to my best friend Steve Doubleday. Kate was lovely and had big hair (and by now you know about me and big hair) but Steve absolutely lusted after her.


Born in 1958 and became a singer, songwriter, musician and record producer. Her first single was ‘Wuthering Heights’, which she wrote herself and it went to number 1 and stayed there for 4 weeks (and yes, I do have a copy). Many more hits were to follow, including ‘Babooshka’, (the video of which is where the pic comes from) and despite gaps in her career she is still writing and recording to this day – a new album is due this year.

But Kate’s appeal wasn’t just the singing. It was the wide staring eyes, the really high squeaky voice, the hand and arm movements and the dancing. A complete all round (and very sexy) entertainer.


Next is Uma Thurman.  To be honest she is not quite a heartthrob, though certainly very attractive and no way would I ever kick her out of bed. But she is here for the role of The Bride/Beatrix Kiddo in the two ‘Kill Bill’ movies (and there are rumours that a third might be made soon).


Born in 1970 she started as a model at the age of 15. Then she moved into movies and has since appeared in over 40 of them (a few of which have been truly dreadful). But her best known are probably the Quentin Tarantino films ‘Pulp Fiction’ and, of course, the two ‘Kill Bill’ films.


Playing the role of the former assassin Beatrix Kiddo she is out for revenge against her former lover who ordered his assassin gang to kill her and all the guests at her wedding. She is determined to kill them all, especially Bill, to get her revenge. It is a part that Tarantino wrote specifically for her. It was by far her most demanding role and she needed three months training in martial arts, swordsmanship and the Japanese language before she was ready for it. But the films became instant cult classics and still are to this day.





Throughout both of them there are severed limbs, huge amounts of blood, eyes gouged out and even Beatrix buried alive (fairly typical Tarantino actually). But she plays the role to perfection. I think we must have watched them both four or five times. Absolute classics.


And now we move to one of Claire’s (yes Claire’s – NOT ME!!)


The British actor Martin Shaw.


(Richard’s bit) Born in 1945 he started his career as a stage actor in the late 60s and still continues theatrical roles to this day. He also moved into TV and after a few minor roles starred as Ray Doyle in the spy/cop series The Professionals (1977-81).

Then he followed this with, among others, The Chief, Rhodes, Judge John Deed and, most recently, Inspector George Gently. He also has around six films to his credit.

He has a private pilot’s licence and owns a vintage Piper L4 Cub which saw action on D-Day in World War 2 as an artillery spotter aircraft. As well as acting he has also done many narrations for audio books and several documentaries (many of which concern aviation).


In his youth he was involved in a drunken brawl and suffered serious facial and head injuries. As a result his right cheekbone required surgical rebuilding and the marks can still be seen. Bloody good actor though. Over to Claire.


(Claire’s bit) Ah, Martin Shaw, a man who I have liked for many years from the curly haired CI5 agent in the 70s (see picture above) to the silver haired 66 year old of today. He is still gorgeous with that intensity that I find so attractive coupled with that all important gentle voice.

His acting skills are unquestionable and the parts that he takes are very diverse, but always with a maverick edge.


Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Mark Firth, John Biehl, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, need 3 more to fill.  Sign up now!

Youngstown IV – The classic 10-player variant, which seems to have fallen through the cracks lately.  Jack McHugh is going to write an article on it for Diplomacy World, but he wants to play again first, so sign up and help out!  Signed up: Jack McHugh, Brad Wilson, Geoff Kemp, Martin Burgdorf, need 6 more.  Sign up now!!!

Balkan Wars VI – To be Guest GM’d by Brad Wilson: Signed up: Doug Kent (that’s me folks), Jack McHugh, Lance Anderson, needs 3 more.  Contact Brad to sign up at bwdolphin146 “of”  Sign up now!!!  HURRY!!!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant.  Rules are in ES #47.  Join in at any time!

By Almost Popular Demand: Underway, join anytime.

23 Tunes: Game currently underway, join any time. 

Lifeboat: Everybody plays, whether you actually do anything or not. 

Standby List: HELP!  I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill.  When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it.  If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch.  If you have specific game requests please let me know.




Eternal Sunshine Game Section



Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, F 14


Austria (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” A Belgium – Holland, A Berlin – Kiel,

 A Bohemia – Silesia, A Brest Hold, A Burgundy – Belgium, A Denmark – Sweden, A Gascony Supports A Brest,

 A Munich – Ruhr, A Paris Supports A Brest, A Picardy Supports A Burgundy – Belgium, A Piedmont – Venice,

 A Tyrolia – Munich, F Western Mediterranean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*).

England (Philip Murphy - trekkypj “of” Retreat F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea..

 F English Channel Supports F Portugal - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Finland Supports F St Petersburg(nc),

 F Irish Sea - North Atlantic Ocean, A Liverpool Hold, A London – Yorkshire, F Norwegian Sea Supports

 F Irish Sea - North Atlantic Ocean, F Portugal - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*),

 F St Petersburg(nc) Supports A Finland (*Fails*).

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” F Constantinople - Aegean Sea, A Livonia – Warsaw,

 F Marseilles Supports F Spain(sc), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Portugal (*Fails*), A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Fails*),

 F North Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea (*Dislodged*, retreat to Clyde or OTB),

 F North Africa Supports F Western Mediterranean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F Spain(sc) Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean – Portugal, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Rome.



Supply Center Chart


Austria:                        Belgium, Berlin, Brest, Budapest, Holland, Kiel, Munich, Paris, Rumania, Serbia,

Sweden, Trieste, Venice, Vienna=14, Build 1

England:          Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, Portugal, St Petersburg=7, Remove 1

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Marseilles, Moscow, Naples, Rome,

Sevastopol, Smyrna, Spain, Tunis, Warsaw=13, Build 4 or 5 (Room for 3)

Winter 14/Spring 15 Deadline is October 25th at 7:00am my time


 “Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse


Billy Ray Valentine: Missing in action.


Duke of York: No orders.


Smaug the Dragon: Decides not to speculate this month.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Pounds and 500 Piastres.  Buys 743 Crowns.


Baron Wuffet: Nothing.


Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 English Pounds and 500 Turkish Piastres.  Buys 743 Austrian Crowns.


VAIONT Enterprises: Zilch.


Insider Trading LLC: Being arraigned.

Bourse Master: Lost at sea.



Next Bourse Deadline is October 24th at 7:00pm my time



Anonymous: Smaug looks stressed?  Could it be the bottle of seltzer water?  All those Marks and Rubles he ate couldn't have done it.


Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, F 12

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” NMR! F Ionian Sea Hold, A Vienna Hold.

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” F Barents Sea Supports A Norway - St Petersburg,

 F English Channel – Brest, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Western Mediterranean, F North Sea - English Channel,

 A Norway - St Petersburg, A Paris Supports F English Channel – Brest, F Tunis - Ionian Sea (*Fails*),

 F Western Mediterranean - Tyrrhenian Sea.

France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” F Portugal - Spain(sc) (*Bounce*).

Germany (Harley Jordanharleyj “of” A Apulia – Rome,

 F Baltic Sea Supports F Gulf of Bothnia - Livonia (*Fails*), A Bohemia Supports A Budapest – Galicia,

 A Budapest – Galicia, A Gascony - Spain (*Bounce*), F Gulf of Bothnia - Livonia (*Fails*),

 A Livonia - Warsaw (*Fails*), A Piedmont – Venice, A Silesia Supports A Budapest – Galicia, A Trieste Hold,

 A Tyrolia Supports A Trieste.

Italy (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” NMR! F Brest Hold (*Dislodged*).

Russia (John Biehl – jerbil “of” F Adriatic Sea - Trieste (*Fails*),

 F Aegean Sea - Eastern Mediterranean, A Albania – Greece, A Galicia – Rumania, F Greece - Aegean Sea,

 A Moscow Supports A Warsaw, A Rumania – Serbia, A Serbia – Albania, A Ukraine - Galicia (*Fails*),

 A Warsaw Supports A Ukraine - Galicia (*Cut*).


I expect Duck to return as Austria, so for the moments I will not call a standby

W 12/S 13 Deadline is October 25th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart

Austria:            Naples, Vienna=2, Even

England:          Belgium, Brest, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, Paris, St Petersburg, Tunis=9, Build 1

France:            Portugal=1, Even

Germany:         Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Rome, Spain, Sweden,

Trieste, Venice=11, Even

Italy:                None=0, OUT!

Russia:             Ankara, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Rumania,

                        Serbia, Sevastopol, Smyrna, Warsaw=11, Build 1



None.  You guys suck.


Black Press Gunboat, “Scream” 2010Brb32, W 05/S 06

England: F Edinburgh Supports A Liverpool - Clyde (*Cut*), A Liverpool - Clyde (*Fails*),

 F Norwegian Sea Supports F Edinburgh.

France: Build F Marseilles..A Piedmont Supports A Tyrolia – Venice (*Void*),

 A Belgium Supports A Ruhr – Holland, F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Marseilles - Gulf of Lyon,

 A Ruhr – Holland, F Western Mediterranean Supports F Marseilles - Gulf of Lyon (*Cut*).

Germany: Remove F Denmark.. F Clyde Supports F North Sea (*Fails*), A Holland Supports A Kiel - Ruhr

 (*Dislodged*, retreat to Kiel or OTB), A Kiel – Ruhr, A Munich Supports A Kiel – Ruhr,

 F North Sea - Edinburgh (*Fails*).

Italy: Remove A Tyrolia, F Tuscany.. A Rome Hold (*Dislodged*, retreat to Apulia or Tuscany or OTB).

Russia: Retreat A Serbia - Budapest.. Build A Moscow.. A Budapest - Rumania (*Bounce*), A Moscow – Ukraine,

 F Norway Hold, F Sevastopol - Rumania (*Bounce*), A Silesia – Berlin,

 F Skagerrak Supports A Sweden – Denmark, A St Petersburg Supports F Norway, A Sweden – Denmark,

 A Trieste Supports A Venice, A Venice Supports A Trieste, A Warsaw - Prussia.

Turkey: Build A Smyrna, F Constantinople.. A Bulgaria - Rumania (*Bounce*), F Constantinople - Black Sea,

 F Ionian Sea - Adriatic Sea, F Naples Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea – Rome, A Serbia - Budapest (*Fails*),

 A Smyrna – Armenia, F Tunis - Western Mediterranean (*Fails*), F Tyrrhenian Sea - Rome.


F 06 deadline is October 25th at 7:00am my time




Paris-Moscow: Like you're not coming for Germany next.



Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, F 04

Austria (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” Retreat A Budapest - Galicia..

 A Galicia - Rumania (*Fails*), A Moscow – Ukraine, A Trieste – Budapest,

 A Warsaw Supports A Moscow - Ukraine.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” F Helgoland Bight - Holland (*Fails*),

 F North Sea Supports F Skagerrak – Denmark, A Norway - St Petersburg, F Norwegian Sea – Norway,

 F Skagerrak – Denmark, F Sweden Supports F Skagerrak - Denmark.

France (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” A Burgundy – Paris, A Gascony – Brest,

 F Gulf of Lyon - Tyrrhenian Sea, F Ionian Sea – Tunis, A Marseilles – Burgundy,

 F Naples - Rome (*Dislodged*, retreat to Apulia or OTB).

Germany (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” Disband A Burgundy..

 F Denmark - Helgoland Bight (*Disbanded*), A Holland Supports A Picardy – Belgium (*Cut*),

 F Kiel - Baltic Sea, A Munich – Kiel, A Picardy - Belgium.

Italy (Hank Alme – almehj “of” F Greece - Ionian Sea,

 F Rome Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea – Naples, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Naples.

Russia (Jack McHugh jwmchughjr “of” A Budapest – Vienna, A Rumania - Galicia (*Fails*),

 F Sevastopol - Black Sea (*Fails*), A Ukraine - Warsaw (*Disbanded*).

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of” F Aegean Sea Convoys A Smyrna – Bulgaria,

 F Black Sea Supports A Smyrna - Bulgaria (*Cut*), F Constantinople Supports F Aegean Sea,

 A Smyrna - Bulgaria.


W 04/S 05 Deadline is October 25th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Moscow, Serbia, Trieste, Warsaw=5, Build 1

England:          Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, St Petersburg, Sweden=7, Build 1

France:            Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain, Tunis=6, Even or Build 1

Germany:         Belgium, Berlin, Holland, Kiel, Munich=5, Build 1

Italy:                Greece, Naples, Rome, Venice=4, Build 1

Russia:             Rumania, Sevastopol, Vienna=3, Even

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Smyrna=4, Even




Con-Paris: Huns in Picardy, you in Ionian. Riiiiiiiiiiiiight ...


Ankara: It's a Romanov/Hapsburg swap!!


Eng-Ger: Stonewall me? Oh man, you're turning me on!


Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, W 04/S 05

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations.  All press submitted will be printed.



Austria (Tom Howell): Build A Trieste.. A Budapest – Serbia, A Munich Supports A Silesia – Berlin

 (*Dislodged*, retreat to Tyrolia or Bohemia or Silesia or OTB), A Piedmont Supports A Trieste – Venice,

 A Rumania - Bulgaria (*Bounce*), A Silesia – Berlin, A Trieste – Venice, A Venice - Tuscany.

England (Brad Wilson): Build A Liverpool.. A Liverpool – Wales, A London Hold,

 F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*), F North Sea - English Channel,

 F St Petersburg(nc) - Norway (*Fails*), F Sweden - Gulf of Bothnia.

France (Jack McHugh): Build A Paris.. A Belgium – Ruhr, F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*),

 A Burgundy – Marseilles, A Holland Supports A Belgium – Ruhr, F Marseilles - Gulf of Lyon, A Paris – Burgundy,

 F Portugal Supports F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Germany (John Biehl): Retreat A Munich - Berlin.. A Berlin – Munich, A Kiel Supports A Berlin – Munich,

 A Norway - Sweden (*Bounce*).

Italy (Jack McHugh): Retreat A Venice - Rome.. F Greece - Aegean Sea,

 F Ionian Sea Supports F Greece - Aegean Sea, A Rome - Venice (*Fails*),

 F Western Mediterranean Supports F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Russia (Dave McCrumb): Remove F Prussia.. F Baltic Sea - Sweden (*Bounce*),

 A Sevastopol - Armenia (*Dislodged*. retreat to Moscow or OTB), A Warsaw - Ukraine.

Turkey (Paraic Reddington): F Aegean Sea - Bulgaria(sc) (*Dislodged*, retreat to Smyrna or Constantinople

 or OTB), F Armenia – Sevastopol, F Black Sea Supports F Armenia – Sevastopol,

 F Eastern Mediterranean - Aegean Sea (*Fails*).




F 05 Deadline is October 25th at 7:00am my time




PIKERS to IM*: Yup. You're right! Austrians on Rome's doorsteps is an improvement.

ANK: Round and round we go.


Geneva, Switz (Apr1, 1905) That obviously wasn`t military. Must have been a mental mind.

I must win - Methinks someone is playing favorites here.


Black Press Gunboat, “Streets of Soho,” 2011Arb32, F 03


Austria: F Aegean Sea Supports A Bulgaria, F Albania - Ionian Sea, A Budapest – Vienna, A Bulgaria Hold,

 A Greece – Serbia, A Serbia - Budapest.

England: F Irish Sea Hold, A London – Denmark, F North Sea Convoys A London – Denmark,

 F Norway - St Petersburg(nc) (*Bounce*), F Skagerrak Supports A London - Denmark.

France: A Belgium – Holland, A Burgundy – Marseilles, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports A Spain,

 A Spain Supports A Burgundy – Marseilles, F Western Mediterranean - Tunis.

Germany: A Berlin – Prussia, F Gulf of Bothnia - St Petersburg(sc) (*Bounce*), A Kiel – Munich,

 A Silesia - Warsaw.

Italy: NMR! Disband F Western Mediterranean.. F Gulf of Lyon Hold,

 A Marseilles Hold (*Dislodged*, retreat to Gascony or OTB), A Piedmont Hold.

Russia: F Black Sea Convoys A Rumania – Armenia, A Galicia – Rumania, A Rumania – Armenia,

 F Sevastopol Supports A Rumania - Armenia.

Turkey: F Ankara Supports A Constantinople, A Constantinople Supports A Rumania - Bulgaria (*Void*),

 A Smyrna Supports A Constantinople.



I will call standby player for Italy.

W 03/S 04 Deadline is October 25th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Bulgaria, Greece, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna=6, Even

England:          Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, St Petersburg=6, Build 1

France:            Belgium, Brest, Holland, Marseilles, Paris, Spain, Tunis=7, Build 2

Germany:         Berlin, Kiel, Munich, Sweden, Warsaw=5, Build 1

Italy:                Naples, Rome, Venice=3, Even or Build 1

Russia:             Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol=3, Remove 1

Turkey:            Ankara, Constantinople, Smyrna=3, Even

Unowned:        Portugal          




Venetian Times – Italy to give up…again. Austria gets free road to domination, can anyone stop the Red Plague??


Pravda – All enemy forces surrender to Russian armies. Pay no attention to the Englishman in St. Petersburg. Russia is still victorious!!


AUSTRIA - WORLD: Unprovoked attack by Russia on Austrian army in Bulgaria. WAR DECLARED.


AUSTRIA - GERMANY: How about you take Warsaw/Moscow and I'll take the south.


AUSTRIA - ITALY: Just passing through ION. Heading east next turn. Obviously very busy there now!


(London) War is Hell….So is sauerkraut!!!


(Paris) France to Italy, England to Germany…soon it will all be a Western World.



Diplomacy - “Lighthouse” - 2011? – Spring 1901

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” A Budapest – Serbia, F Trieste – Albania,

 A Vienna - Galicia.

England (Phil Murphy – trekkypj “of” F Edinburgh - North Sea, A Liverpool – Wales,

 F London - English Channel (*Bounce*).

France (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” F Brest - English Channel (*Bounce*),

 A Marseilles – Spain, A Paris - Gascony.

Germany (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 “of” A Berlin – Kiel, F Kiel – Holland, A Munich - Ruhr.

Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Rome – Venice,

 A Venice - Trieste.

Russia (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” A Moscow – Sevastopol, F Sevastopol – Rumania,

 F St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of Bothnia, A Warsaw - Ukraine.

Turkey (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” F Ankara - Black Sea,

 A Constantinople – Bulgaria, A Smyrna - Constantinople.


Fall 1901 Deadline is October 25th at 7:00am my time




The General looked at his aide-de-camp. "Well? What are we facing?"

"The Living Dead, sir." The young aide's voice trembled. "No offense, sir, but some of those people are older than you are."

The General's eyes narrowed. "Besides age, any other reason to believe it's the Living Dead?"

"Well, one of them is a confirmed Red Sox fan."

"Dear God in Heaven! Sound the alarm!"


PM to ALL: Your silence has been deafening. Even so, as a precaution I have installed extra telegraph cable to the major capitals of the world. A courier will bring you a blue telegraph transceiver set. It is to be connected to the new copper cables being wired into your offices so that we can communicate directly. It will be called - "The Cold Line".


The Russian Imperial Palace has announced that it has reached a peace treaty with the republics of Mongolia, Japan and China.  This will allow the Russian Federation to concentrate all its forces ............... shall we say, elsewhere.



By Almost Popular Demand


The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the a popular answer but NOT the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. However, if your answer is the most popular answer, you score ZERO.  The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer.  Your score for this answer will be doubled.  In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.  Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds, and the score is doubled for Round 10.  A prize will be awarded to the winner.  Research is permitted!


Round 4 Categories

1. A character on Sesame Street.

2. A holiday where you traditionally give cards.

3. A child’s toy.

4. A classical composer.

5. Something made of wood.


For these categories I pretty much let the answers stand as they were given.  If someone was vague (“table” or “chair” or “stuffed animal”) I treated that as its own answer, different than the specific (“coffee table” or “teddy bear”).


Selected Comments by Category:


Sesame Street – Hank Alme “I was oh so glad our son never glommed onto either Elmo (or Barney!) He got into a little hot water when he was about four when he told one of his playmates, an Elmo worshipper, that "Elmo bites!"  Kevin Wilson “I suspect Bert or Ernie or Big Bird or some such will be #1 but maybe the Cookie Monster will get a couple of votes too.”  Kevin Tighe “I always liked Bert’s laugh.  And just because 2 Muppets sleep in the same room it doesn't mean they're gay.  Guys in the army sleep in the same room all the time and they're not gay.  Oh, wait a minute . . .  Marc Ellinger “Everyone says Big Bird or Kermit, but Bert was the real power behind the Sesame Street mafia.”


HolidayKevin Wilson “Since anniversaries and birthdays aren't "holidays" they don’t count and they are probably the biggest occasions. So, will Christmas or Valentine's Day be #1. I'm betting Christmas is #1 so I went with the other.”  Per Westling “I only know two where I get cards, and those are Yule and Easter.”  Marc Ellinger “Christmas is big, but more cards on Mother’s Day than any other day.   Hey Hallmark created it and they are from Missouri!!”


Child’s ToyKevin Wilson “Way too many choices here. Not likely to get a match let alone the #1.”  Kevin Tighe “Not many females in this contest so I may get by with this choice.”  Marc Ellinger “Teddy Bear: An old nostalgic answer in a modern PS3 day.”


Composer Kevin Wilson “If I were a fan of classical music, maybe I'd have a clue. I like some, to listen to, but I wouldn't know who was who as far as the composer.”  Kevin Tighe “My mom claims we are cousins of Dvorak, but I think every Czech is his cousin.”


Made of Wood – Brad Wilson “Jack McHugh's head ... er, no, really log cabin.”  Kevin Wilson “How many will look back at the last turn and pick a piece of furniture.”  Kevin Tighe “Baseball bat seems too popular and spoon too weird.”  Marc Ellinger “WTF???   It’s all plastics now days, come on!”


Congrats to Heather, who scored a round-high 21 (out of a possible 24).  And condolences to Brad Wilson, hitting the top answer in 3 categories, leaving his round score at 2.



Round 5 Categories

1. A song by Madonna.

2. A flavor of potato chip.

3. A sport.

4. A month of the year.

5. A brand of detergent.


Deadline for Round 5 is October 25th at 7:00am my time



General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:  October 25th, 2011 at 7:00am my time.