Eternal Sunshine #58

November 2011

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX  75149

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On the web at – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at  Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at  Also remember to check out for official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his available merchandise!  Links to many of the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button in the main menu of the Whining Kent Pigs website.  Or go to where women can learn all the secrets of how a man’s mind works, and why they act the way they do.

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Quote Of The MonthOsidius the Emphatic.  Right there.  Swoop and cross.” (Joel in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)


Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine which hears voices in its head; generally this is impossible as your everyday zine has no head.  But ES does, and the voices keep talking… whispering…. shouting… stuttering… singing… whistling…. barking… You don’t want to know what they say, believe me.  It would keep you up at night.  Worse, you might not be able to sleep at work either.


Lately it seems every month I start the issue saying how I haven’t had time to write anything for the zine, and therefore this opening section will be short.  Guess what?  Nothing is any different.  I thought I’d find time, and maybe inspiration, but with the short month it never happened.  Add to that the fact that we had a friend spending the weekend right before the deadline, and that I seemed to be staring at a HUGE pile of NMR’s this issue (almost all of which disappeared as orders arrived at the last minute), and you can understand why I wasn’t busting my butt to write an essay or two.  I DID take my turn in The Twisting Tale though.  If you’d like to be added to the list of participants, please let me know.


So in zine news…hmmm.  Columns from Paul Milewski, Jack McHugh, and Richard Walkerdine grace this issue.  Paul chose his topic especially for me, but I resisted the urge to get creative or crazy with illustrations.  You’ll also find two new games starting: Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki? and a 10-round Eternal Sunshine Movie Photo contest.  The former is a simple game where you guess a person and a place each turn, trying to narrow down who and where the secret person is.  The rules are in this issue.  I’ve played it a few times in Brendan Whyte’s Damn the Consequences and it can be a puzzling mystery but fun too.  Hopefully you’ll give it a try.  The Movie Photo Quiz follows the same general format as the prior Movie Quote Quiz, but I am hoping this contest makes it harder for anyone to cheat.  I know a few of the photos are not the GREATEST resolution, but you’ll see them better on your screen than printed.  Give both a try!


We still need players for Balkan Wars VI, Youngstown IV, and Diplomacy.  Sign up now, or forever hold your peace.  The next deadline is a longer one, so MAYBE I can accomplish something with it.  I guess anyone who wants to complain can feel free to…except Jim Burgess, since he hasn’t put out The Abyssinian Prince since Clinton’s first term.  Check everything out, sign up for games, participate, write letters, and have fun.  See you next month!


Playlist: Morning Dove White – White Rose; Magical Mystery Tour – The Beatles; Greatest Hits – Eurythmics; Soundtrack – Drop Dead Gorgeous.



Hypothetical of the Month

Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1 – You find a wallet in the parking lot of a large department store.  It is wet, and it hasn’t rained since last night, so you can assume it has been there since yesterday.  There is no identification inside.  All you find is a scratch lottery ticket (a $1 winner, it seems), a receipt from a local store for a pack of cigarettes, and $56 in cash.  What do you do with it?  #2 – You sit on a city council board.  The voting districts in the region must be realigned.  The proposal that makes the most sense to you in terms of population growth and geographic separation also happens to be the one which some minority groups claim is discriminatory against them because it scatters their votes into multiple districts instead of concentrating them in one or two.  Do you vote for the proposal?


Andy York - #1 – I’d march right into the store and turn it in to the lost and found (as I've done in similar situations)


#2 - I'd likely do so; however, there are a number of things that could change my mind - such as, previous judicial review/decisions that maybe relevant to this situation (especially in the south), the realignment is politically motivated, etc.


Melinda Holley - #1 - Turn it in to the security office in the mall or call the police and report finding it.


#2 - Depends on whether the allegation has any truth to it or is just perception.  I'd schedule some meetings with the minority groups to get a better idea of their concerns and attempt to convey my thoughts.  If I feel the allegation has truth, then I do not vote for it.  If I feel the allegations are perception, I vote for it and try to include those neighborhoods in the process.


Richard Walkerdine - #1 – I keep it (I’m not that honest).


#2 – I vote in favor (tough on the minorities but happens all the time in the UK).


Amber Smith - #1 - Take the cash and throw the rest away (this is assuming the lotto card doesn't have identification on it either).


#2 - Yes I would vote for the proposal. My downfall as a politician would be that I'd always know the "better" choice.... good thing I’m not one!


David McCrumb - #1 - If the local store where the receipt is from is close, I turn it in there. Otherwise I would turn in to dept store.


#2 - I would vote for the proposal. Every constituent wants districts aligned to benefit their own group. Most of the fighting is among political parties. Most of the fights I have seen among minorities end up decreasing their relative representative power rather than increase it because they then have one representative from their group rather than two or three who may not be from their minority group but may be influenced by them. It blows my mind with the gerrymandering that goes on. During the 2000 realignment, the party in power in Virginia bragged that their preliminary realignment of districts had put two representatives of the opposition in the same district. It was pointed out that they were actually 2 blocks off. You guessed it; the final map had a little 2 arm that reached out two blocks to change that. Disgusting.


Tom Howell - #1 - Hmm.  I might go see if I can track the owner via the lottery ticket.  Do they record the buyer's name at the purchase point?  I'd probably post a notice on a local bulletin board: "Wallet found in

parking lot: call aaa-ppp-nnnn to identify".  If no successful response within a reasonable period, probably toss the wallet and claim the cash.


#2 - Assuming the new districts represent reasonable neighborhood divisions, and don't look like an exercise in gerrymandering, yes.


Jack McHugh - #1 - I keep way to tell who it is or who it belongs to..anyone can claim it and I'm too lazy to go through figuring out who it belongs to by advertising wallet found and telling people to tell me the contents, besides, I’m not sure I know what's in my wallet all the time if had a lot more over a couple hundred $$$ I’d probably call the cops and turn it to see if anyone claims it...I suppose I could do that with this but it hardly seems worth it.


#2 - I’d vote for the proposal since once you start changing the districts based on minorities where does it end and what is minority? skin color, religion, people who wear glasses, Dallas Cowboy fans...I would rather have districts based on some objective criteria specified in advance of redistricting so that anyone who moves will know, in advance, what district they are likely to be and can plan accordingly. I suspect most people won't care but at least if you have an objective criterion that is well publicized no one can claim they are being excluded...


Don Williams - #1 - This sounds so damn corny, but I’d probably take it into the mall to security.  I don’t need the money and I think it’d be a kick to “pay it forward” on the off chance that the person comes back to reclaim it.  I guess I’d also leave my info in case no one claimed it so that I could have it if the owner never showed.


#2 - This is an easy one, and is close to my professional heart.  In answer, I vote against it.  The argument that the “population and geographic separation” support one district over another are fallacious; districts are to offer roughly equal people per district and, hopefully, allow for demographic representation.  Geography is a secondary consideration at best and growth shouldn’t be considered at all … redistricting happens every 10 years at the minimum.


Heather Taylor - #1 – I return it to the Lost and Found at the department store.  That could be someone’s last $56 that they desperately need.  It’s just the right thing to do.


#2 – Yes, if it’s the one that makes most sense.


For Next Month (For the time being, I am usually selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: #1 – A friend is in high-profile legal trouble.  A tabloid offers you $20,000 for an in-depth “anonymous” interview about your friend, and you desperately need money as you are behind on your mortgage.  Do you give the interview?  #2 – You strongly suspect that a friend’s three-year-old child is not his biologically, but the result of an affair or one-night-stand his wife must have had.  Do you say anything?



The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews


Another month of no movies, but we plan on seeing Anonymous and Paranormal Activity 3 in the next week or two.


Seen on DVD – I Love You Phillip Morris (B-, a kooky and enjoyable film, but they really gave Ewan McGregor very little to work with.  It’s pretty much a one-man show for Jim Carrey).  Rabbit Hole (C-, surprisingly weak performances and mundane direction; probably a terrific stage play, but not a good film).  Modern Family Season 2 (A-, the only thing which dropped this down from an A grade were the touchy-feely moments of the last few episodes.  I’m not interested in heartwarming).  The Human Centipede, First Segment (C-, this new cult classic is not boring or awful, but there’s not much to it aside from the subject matter it’s just ehhh).


100 Movies to See Before You Die

An Eternal Sunshine List Challenge


Yahoo Films (part of the Yahoo online pages) has posted two lists of movies “to see before you die.”  The first list was composed of mostly classic film choices, while the “modern” list was 100 films from 1990 onward.  You can find their lists at: and at  Some of these choices I agree with, and some I think are completely off the mark.  So I issued a challenge to each of you: Submit to me the 100 Movies to See Before You Die that would make your list.  The lists could be submitted all at once, or 10 films at a time.  Any comments on your choices (or future comments on the choices of other people) are encouraged.  After 10 issues I plan on publishing a complete list of all films included on any list, as well as a count of how many lists each appeared on. I am offering prizes: two of the respondents who submit a full complement of 100 movies (whether all at once or 10 per issue) will be selected at random for prizes.  So to win, all you have to do is play.


Next issue: The seventh set of 10 movies from each of you, and from me (more movies if you missed either of the previous rounds).  Please note: These films are not meant to be placed in order by you, from top to bottom, unless you want to do that for some reason.


Amber Smith


My Sister's Keeper


Bram Stokers Dracula

Knight and Day

The Frighteners



White Chicks

Win Win

Big Jake


Simply Irresistible

In the Company of Men

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

The Green Mile


V for Vendetta

How to Train Your Dragon

A Beautiful Mind

Office Space


Shaun of the Dead

The Lion King


the Fifth Quarter


Area 51



Rise of the Planet of the Apes


Rick Desper


1. The Producers.  The earliest of Mel Brooks's best comedies.  Also worth consideration: Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein.  His best films starred Gene Wilder.


2. Caddyshack.  One of those films that I can watch many times.  Incredible joint effort with Dangerfield, Chase, and Murray providing the laughs and Ted Knight playing the under-appreciated straight man/villain.  Gunga ga lunga.


3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  Gets a slight advantage over Life of Brian, which is also very funny.  Holy Grail was groundbreaking in a lot of ways.


4. The Lady Killers.  Alec Guinness leads a great cast in this Ealing Studio comedy about a gang in London that can escape the police but not the scorn of a spinster landlady.  Also good from Ealing Studio:  Kind Hearts and Coronets and The Lavender Hill Mob.  Both also feature Guinness. 


5. A Shot in the Dark - the best of the Pink Panther series, with a slight advantage over the first film.  Features a murder in a country manor where Clouseau instinctively knows that the maid (Elke Sommer) is innocent of the crime, in spite of the overwhelming evidence against her. 


6. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels - Steve Martin and Michael Caine play a pair of con men competing for the attentions (and the fortune) of an American heiress, played by Glenne Headley.


7. Groundhog Day - Bill Murray lives the same day over and over again, while trying to woo Andie MacDowell.


8. Raising Arizona - recidivist Hy (Nic Cage) and prison officer Ed (Holly Hunter) kidnap one of the Arizona quints when all attempts at adoption fail.  Great supporting cast, esp. John Goodman and Randall "Tex" Cobb as Leonard Smalls, the biker/bounty hunter whose momma didn't love him.  Fantastic cinematography.


9.  The Big Lebowski - Jeff Bridges plays "the Dude," a man of small means and few worries other than his bowling league.  He becomes involved in a kidnapping plot when he's mistaken for the Big Lebowski by a bunch of nihilists who pee all over his rug ("It really tied the room together.")  When he seeks compensation from the Big Lebowski himself, the wheelchair-bound millionaire hires him to make the drop to the kidnappers of his absurdly young wife (Tara Reid).  Again, John Goodman is spectacular in a supporting role as Walter Sobchak, the Dude's hyper-intense shabbos-observing bowling pal.


10. Fargo - not really a comedy, but it really belonged on the previous list of cop films.  A third film by the Cohen brothers.  Frances McDormand is great as Marge Gunderson, the pregnant local police chief who untangles the abysmal kidnapping plot of William H. Macy.


I could easily add Burn After reading to this list.


Paraic Reddington


Saving Private Ryan

Schindler’s List

Seven Samurai

Singin’ in the Rain

Slumdog Millionaire

Some Like It Hot

Star Trek

Star Wars

Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back

Taxi Driver


Larry Cronin


The Graduate

Endless Summer

Man with a Movie Camera - Dziga Vertov

Apocalypse Now?

Mysteries of the Organism

High Noon

Groundhog Day

Blue Velvet

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid



David MCCrumb


Decided to start it though I have not put a lot of thought into it yet…


The Outlaw Josey Wales – My all-time favorite movie – I also love the book – It is rare when both the book and movie are good


Arsenic and Old Lace – I like many Cary Grant movies but this is my favorite. This is in direct contradiction that it was his least favorite movie that he made.


Capricorn One – Pure bunk but it was very well done.


The Great Escape – While only the main theme is true, the movie as a whole works.


Where Eagles Dare – Great action movie. Has some of my favorite actors. And I loved the book.


A Christmas Story -  The BEST Christmas movie.


The Gods Must Be Crazy – Wonderful! It makes me wonder how archeologists will interpret the stuff the dig up from our culture.


Last Action Hero – My favorite Arnold movie. He seemed to have fun with this.


Stand By Me – I can relate to the general theme.


Speed -  Great movie with 2 of my favorite actors.


Major League – Best baseball movie


Galaxy Quest – Wonderful satire. Plus a wonderful story


Dirty Rotten Scoundrels – I will watch anything with Michael Caine. One of Steve Martins best roles.


Braveheart – These folks are my ancestors. I can relate.


Flashback – Great fun. So much misdirection and misunderstandings.


The Cheyenne Social club – My favorite Jimmy Stewart movie. Plus a AAA cast.


All Of Me – Steve Martins other great role. Plus Lily Tomlin was perfect as the nutsy millionaire.


The Final Countdown -  Martin Sheen is listed as the star but we all know it was the Nimitz.


The Voyage Home (ST4) – James Doohan was perfect in the computer scene.


Wildcats – Goldie Hawn just seems to bring stupid movies to life. Very formulaic but still enjoyable.


Jack McHugh


Scarface: great flick with lots of scene chewing by al Pacino as an up and coming drug lord whose own excessive appetites and paranoia bring him down, well worth watching if you can stand the violence


Goodfellas..Another Scorsese flick with a strong cast led by DeNiro, Pesci, and Liotta but features other terrific players like Paul Sorvino and Lorraine Bracco.


Casino--which is really the same as Goodfellas but with only a slightly different cast--still with De Niro and Pesci but no Liotta and with Sharon Stone as the femme fatale whereas Goodfellas is more of a buddy pic, Casino is more of a love triangle... and set in Las Vegas as opposed to North Jersey but I love both movies


The Town--Ben Affleck wrote, directed and starred in this tour de force about a long time bank robber who falls for a witness he's supposed to get rid of, reminded me a lot of good will hunting.


White Heat--My favorite Jimmy Cagney movie after The Fighting 69th  and Mister Roberts  and his best gangster movie done in film noire style with Cagney playing a gangster with a mother complex, a scheming girlfriend, henchmen conspiring against him and mole from the FBI. A great movie with a great ending..."top of the world ma!"


The Departed--Another Scorsese flick with a great cast a great story line about an undercover cop who goes deep undercover on one side (Matt Damon) and his alter ego on the other side who is trying to fine the mole (Leonardo Dicaprio) from the criminal side to protect the organization--the stellar support cast includes Martin Sheen, Jack Nicholson and Mark Wahlberg.


The Godfather series--i include this as on entry since the stories are basically one large arc...this is probably the "father" of most modern gangster/crime saga since the 1970's.


The Maltese Falcon--the mother of all film noire movies of the forties with the Humphrey Bogart playing Sam Spade and the classic support cast of Mary Astor, Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet with John Huston in the director's chair.


The Stranger--one of Orson Wells lesser known flicks made in 1946 in which wells directs and stars in playing a Nazi on the run and Edward G. Robinson as the man hunting him....very well done in the same spirit as The Third Man 


The Third Man...another film starring Joseph Cotton, of Citizen Kane fame, and Orson Wells but directed by Carol Reed with Trevor Lee and Alida Valli in supporting rules...very dark and well shot film that one an Oscar for best cinematography for black and white.


Dane Maslen


A Clockwork Orange - I suspect that without the soundtrack, this wouldn't be on my list.


Apollo 13 - it would have been difficult to make a bad film about such an event, but I'm somewhat surprised that Hollywood resisted the temptation to do so.


Das Boot


Gregory's Girl - I believe this eventually had to be released in the U.S. with subtitles because American audiences couldn't cope with the Scottish accents.




Romeo and Juliet (1967, Franco Zefferelli)


Saw - I recently saw this for the first time and found it quite engrossing.


Silence of the Lambs


The Abyss - I watched this again recently (for the third time I think) to see if it should be on my list.  It should.


The Madness of King George - I originally watched this only because it starred Nigel Hawthorne.  I watched it again recently and decided that if I liked it, then it ought to be on my list as it's a film from a genre that doesn't usually appeal to me.


Kevin Wilson


I've sort of run out of natural groups for my submission so these are just 10 I found entertaining.  Most are of less than recent vintage.


The Departed - intense and entertaining.


Stripes - came out while I was in school.  We had hours laughing over this one.  Although, it doesn't seem as funny now.


Warriors - Another college hit.  Seems odd and strange now.  I guess it was funnier with a  pint of Jack in me.


Smokey and the Bandit - kind of shows my rural roots but one of those I remember seeing in the local, one-screen theater and laughing over and over.


Breakfast Club - one of those growing up movies that doesn't hold its allure but was entertaining then.


Animal House - We still tell stories from my fraternity days on parties like the ones at Delta House.


St Elmo's Fire - another of the growing up movies but one that held some appeal to this day.  Oh, those days in school, how we miss them.


Raiders of the Lost Ark - Still the best of that series.


Crash - One I only watched because it was getting good comments.  The basic concept didn't seem like it would appeal to me but I really liked it.


Forest Gump - Life isn't like a box of chocolates but close.


Jim Burgess


Kill Bill, Part II
Hot Fuzz
Sherlock Jr.
V for Vendetta
The Graduate
The Buddy Holly Story
Star Trek IV
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
How to Stuff a Wild Bikini


Brad Wilson


The Tailor of Panama

The Battle of Algiers

The Wizard of Oz

Macbeth (Orson Welles version)

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Bicycle Thief

The Caine Mutiny

The Apartment


King of Hearts


Kevin Tighe


This month's selections are for you Heather Taylor.  Grease 2?  Grease 2??!!!!  But I do agree with you about The English Patient.  After these first 8 films I feel like dancing down the street.  After the last 2 I feel like overdrinking and popping pills.


Singing in the Rain

An American in Paris

Yankee Doodle Dandy (Cagney's best non-gangster role)

Fiddler on the Roof

West Side Story


Sound of Music

Mary Poppins





John Biehl


The Gods must be Crazy

The Magnificent Seven

The Fugitive

The Birdman of Alcatraz

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Paths of Glory

The African Queen

The French Connection

In the Heat of the Night



Douglas Kent



Reversal of Fortune

Silence of the Lambs

South Park

Fight Club

Bill Cosby: Himself

Dial M for Murder

Dog Day Afternoon

The Station Agent





23 Tunes!


23 Tunes Game

Here are the rules for 23 TUNES. You send me three tunes for the first turn, and then two tunes in each of the last ten turns for a total of 23. If you missed the first turn, you can still catch up by sending five tunes next issue, and guess on submitters to this issue. Actually, you can send all 23 tunes at once if you want to, but then you’ll need to remember to guess everyone else’s each month.  I am also submitting my tunes. After we're done, I'd like to exchange CD's/Tapes for as many of the tunes players as possible, but this is not required. I'll be sending the winner my 23 Tune list. The winner is determined by having you guess each issue who submitted what list (I will tell you who the submitters are). For each song you get right (except those you submitted yourself), you get a point, you also can win bonus points from me for really cool tune selections. That's it, not complicated. I hope by starting this up, we'll get more to join. So, put simply…you send in the name and artist of songs you really like or have special meaning to you.  I print 3 of them the first turn, and 2 year turn after that (you can submit that way, or send in all 23 at once, or anything in between).  Each issue I list the songs for that turn, without revealing who submitted which song.  I also print a list of who submitted songs (again, without telling you which songs they sent in).  Your mission is to match the people with the songs (but no points for your own).  Simple.  And I’ll offer other prizes as well, to be determined later.  If you miss a turn, make it up my sending enough songs to catch up with the other players (and the overdue songs will simply be revealed immediately).


23 Tunes - Round Eight


Correction from scoring last time: Richard Walkerdine for both Jim Burgess songs correct, so he gets two points.


Submitting songs this issue are: Andy Lischett, Andy York, David McCrumb, Douglas Kent, Geoff Kemp, Hank Alme, Heather Taylor, Martin Burgdorf, Amber Smith, Richard Walkerdine, Paraic Reddington. 


1.    Abracadabra - Steve Miller Band, Geoff Kemp.

2.    Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers, Paraic Reddington.  Correct: JB.

3.    Amanda - Waylon Jennings, Dave McCrumb. Correct: MB.

4.    Can't Get it Out of My Head – ELO, Amber Smith.

5.    Death of a Clown - Dave Davies, Richard Walkerdine “The first solo recording of one of the founder members of The Kinks and never to be forgotten.”

6.    Fat Bottom Girls – Queen, Heather Taylor.

7.    God Bless America – Traditional, Andy York.  Correct: RW, GK, AL, MB.

8.    I Ain't Drunk - Albert Collins, Hank Alme.  Correct: PR.

9.    I Saw the Light - Roy Acuff and the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Dave McCrumb.  Correct: GK, AL, JB.

10.  M - The Cure, Martin Burgdorf.

11.  Misunderstanding – Genesis, Douglas Kent.  Correct: MB.

12.  Moonlight Sonata – Beethoven, Andy Lischett.

13.  Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra, Richard Walkerdine “Their greatest song ever, and what a group they were.”  Correct: AL.

14.  Sometimes Always - The Jesus and Mary Chain, Martin Burgdorf.  Correct: AL.

15.  Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills, and Nash, Douglas Kent.  Corect: AL.

16.  Street Life – Crusaders, Geoff Kemp.

17.  Surprise, Surprise - Brett Dennen, Amber Smith.

18.  Sweet Home Alabama - Lynard Skynard, Heather Taylor.

19.  The Hardest Button to Button - The White Stripes, Hank Alme.  Correct: AL.

20.  The Star Spangled Banner – Traditional, Andy York.  Correct: RW, GK, AL, MB, PR.

21.  Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves, Paraic Reddington.

22.  When The Levee Breaks - Led Zeppelin, Andy Lischett.


Scores This Round – Andy Lischett [AL] – 7; Martin Burgdorf [MB] – 4; Geoff Kemp [GK] – 3; Richard Walkerdine [RW] – 2; Jim Burgess [JB] – 2; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 2; Mark Firth [MF] - 0.


Total Scores (of those who submitted at least some guesses in any round): Andy Lischett [AL] – 35; Martin Burgdorf [MB] – 28; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 24; Geoff Kemp [GK] – 21; Richard Walkerdine [RW] – 18; Jim Burgess [JB] – 17; Phil Murphy [PM] – 10; Mark Firth [MF] – 7; Brendan Whyte [BW] – 7; Melinda Holley [MH] – 6; Hank Alme [HA] – 6; Kevin Tighe [KT] – 6; Chris Babcock [CB] – 5; Marc Ellinger [ME] – 4; Amber Smith [AS] – 1. 


23 Tunes - Round Nine


Submitting songs this issue are: Andy Lischett, Andy York, David McCrumb, Douglas Kent, Geoff Kemp, Heather Taylor, Rick Desper, Martin Burgdorf, Amber Smith, Richard Walkerdine, Paraic Reddington, Jim Burgess, Mark Firth, Hank Alme. 


First, some make-up songs: Rick Desper gives us Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd and Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed.  Jim Burgess submits Starship Jingle by The Intergalactic Touring Band and Phobos and Deimos Go to Mars by Synergy.


1.    1999 - Prince

2.    99 Luftballoons - Nena

3.    All Over the World - Francoise Hardy

4.    Atmosphere - Joy Division

5.    Babooshka - Kate Bush

6.    Born to Be Wild - Steppenwolf

7.    Coat of Many Colors - Dolly Parton

8.    Crockett's Theme - Jan Hammer

9.    Crystal Ship - The Doors

10. Good Times, Bad Times - Led Zeppelin

11. I Only Want to Be With You - Dusty Springfield

12. It's a Sin - Pet Shop Boys

13. It's All Over - Nektar

14. Jolene - Dolly Parton

15. La Grange - ZZ Top

16. Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

17. Legend of a Mind - Moody Blues

18. People Are Strange - The Doors

19. Pink Panther Theme - Mancini

20. REM - Bad Day

21. Science Friction - XTC

22. Shock the Monkey - Peter Gabriel

23. Skating Away - Jethro Tull

24. Take it Easy - The Eagles

25. There are 9 Million Bicycles in Bejing - Katie Mehlua

26. Thick as a Brick - Jethro Tull

27. Tupelo Honey - Van Morrison

28. White Flag – Dido


Deadline for the next round of 23 Tunes is November 28th at 7pm my time.

That’s the day BEFORE the regular zine deadline.



The Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest Results


It’s time once again for the results of the annual Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest.  The contest is simple: you get one point for each correct division winner, and one point for correctly selecting the wild card teams (one per league).  Then you get two points for each team you correctly choose as league champion (meaning they play in the World Series), and three points for correctly picking the World Series winner. 


As things turned out, NOBODY picked the League Champions correctly, which means nobody will have the World Series winner correct either.  The winner overall is Melinda Holley, getting 4 out of 8 points for the division and wild card teams.  I’m going to offer this again next year, but if we don’t get a better response, that will be it.





The Eternal Sunshine

Dead Pool



Just a quick update: Jim Burgess picked up the first point for Dolores Hope.  Then, a few days before the deadline, the death of Gaddafi gave a point to myself, Richard Walkerdine, Dane Maslen, and Martin Burgdorf.  As far as I know, nobody else has a correct choice yet.  Remember, if someone on your list expires, drop me a note in case I haven't heard about it!



Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column


Geoff Kemp: Oh yes, must congratulate Richard Walkerdine on picking one of the most gorgeous singers in Kate Bush. I remember going to see her live in Birmingham about 1980 and she was the complete performer, she could sing, she could dance, she had everything! Still got all her singles and albums on both cd and vinyl where possibly and looking forward to next year’s release. She was one sexy lady! A superb choice there.


Mark Nelson: It hasn't been eight years since my last LoC, but it must have been a while since there is now a large pile of un-opened envelopes from you on my desk. So, I've decided that it's time to start working my way through them. Then I can safely forget about anything to do with diplomacy for a few months!


What's scary isn't that it has been a while since I sent you a LoC nor is it scary that prior to my previous loc it had been something like eight years since I'd written a loc. What's scary is that the fact that it's been almost twenty years since I retired from active involvement I knew all but one of the contributors to Hypothetical of the Month.


[[I guess this bunch of old fogies simply refuses to give up the ghost.]]


Regarding the new questions. [[Referring to the Hypothetical Questions printed in #56 and answered in #57]] I decline to answer the second because I don't accept the premise of the question (gypsy curse), I suppose that means that I will die within the next 10 days. I decline to answer the first because I don't accept the premise of the question (playing in a game of diplomacy!). Incidentally, I did do some "diplomacy research" a while ago and discovered that there had been a group of diplomacy players at Wollongong University in the past!


I enjoyed The Help; it's fascinating to me that the social attitudes portrayed in the movie are so recent - within the lifetime of many people (but perhaps not readers of the Eternal Sunshine).


Enjoyed reading the movies list submitted by various readers, what a great fanboy topic!  Rain Man and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest would certainly be two of my favorite movies of all time.  To which I would add Tootsie.  Alien and Blade Runner would both be on my Top 10 SF movies.  I enjoyed The Magnificent Seven when I was a child, not sure that I would enjoy it so much now. But I would like to watch The Seven Samurai sometime before that gypsy curse comes into play.


[[Better hurry…10 days isn’t much time.]]


What's spooky is that this morning I read on the net that Colonel Gaddafi is dead and in the afternoon I read Dane Maslen's (another old name) prediction that he would die.


It was interesting to read Claire's list. (I only met her in person once!) Who would ever have predicted that The Man With No Name would turn into such an interesting director? I hadn't picked up that Sean Bean was Boromir, but I've not watched the Richard Sharpe series. Neither had I heard Richard's two stories about Johnny Depp, which shows that he seems a well-rounded guy (for an actor!).


[[One of these days I think I’d like to find a Vertigo and a Mark Nelson Experience in my mailbox…new ones though!]]


Dane Maslen: At last Gaddafi has proved himself useful for something: one down, nine to go in the Dead Pool.


[[Score one for you…and for me!]]



The Twisting Tale


This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words.  If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up.  We need more particpants!  Email me at if you’d like to participate!



Chapter 8 by Douglas Kent


“A special job?  What kind of job?”


Joe smiled and fingered the remote control.  “The kind where you do a little favor for somebody, and in return you get a favor back someday.”


“I don’t think I understand.  As a matter of fact, you haven’t explained a single thing since I got here.  You forced me to watch two episodes of Jeopardy, gave me some mud-colored tea that tastes like tree bark, and now you’re telling me you have a special job for me.  Who is asking me to do this job anyway?  Is it you, or someone you’re working for?”


Joe stood up and spun around once, stopping abruptly and waving his hand across his face.  “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”


“Great, first it’s Beethoven’s 10th, and now it’s the Wizard of Oz.”


“What do you mean the Wizard of Oz?” Joe asked.


“That line, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.  It’s from the Wizard of Oz.”


“No it isn’t.  I made it up.”


“What the hell are you talking about?  It’s from The Wizard of Oz, when they finally get to see the Wizard.”


“I’ve never even heard of The Wizard of Oz.”


“Right, Joe.  You’ve never heard of one of the most famous films of all time?  The Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion, Dorothy?  The Wicked Witch of the East?”


“Oh, fine, I admit it” Joe sighed.  “It happens to be my favorite movie of all time.  I’ve got quite a collection of memorabilia.  I even have a special Wizard of Oz costume I like to put on now and then.  Wanna see?  I’ll go get it.”  He turned and walked briskly into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.


“Really, I just want to know why the hell I am here!  I don’t need to see you in some wizard outfit.  Just answer my damn questions.”


“Oh, it’s not the Wizard” called Joe from behind the door.  “It’s Dorothy.  I look fetching in it, you’ll see.  Just hang on; I need to get my wig.”


Meanwhile, back in Astoria, Oregon…


Lee woke up, then wished he hadn’t.  Head: pounding.  Like he’d had three bottles of cheap wine the night before.  Back: sore and twisted.  What was going on there.  Oh, he was lying on the floor.  On the broken remains of his laptop. 


Ugh…the room was still spinning a bit.  He got up and looked around the rustic house.  His notes were gone, his laptop destroyed.  But he was still alive.  Why would they let him live? 


Suddenly he realized that the odor of gasoline and smoke were filling his nose.  They must have given him too small a dose; they’d meant for him to die in the fire.  Jumping to his feet, Lee ran out the door and towards the lake.  As the flames hit his propane tank, the explosion pushed him forward and over the embankment.  He tumbled down, landing in a jumbled heap right by the water.


Next to him, there was a long plastic…a bag of some sort.  The sound of the explosion ringing in his ears, Lee looked down, and saw a face through the plastic.  Blue lips, pale skin…dead.  And that was when he realized…it was Laura.  Laura Palmer.


Next up – Paraic Reddington

(Want to join in?  Email me!  We need more writers!!!)






By Paul Milewski


Here’s some historical background from a Wikipedia article on brassiere measurement:


Measurement method origins


In October 1932, the S.H. Camp and Company correlated the size and pendulousness of a woman's breasts to letters of the alphabet, A, B, C, and D. Camp's advertising featured letter-labeled profiles of breasts in the February 1933 issue of Corset and Underwear Review. These procedures were only designed to help women with the then-standard sizes A through D up to a size 38 band size and were not intended to be used for larger-breasted women. In 1937, Warner began to feature cup sizing in its products. Other companies like the Model and Fay-Miss (renamed in 1935 as the Bali Brassiere Company) also began to offer A, B, C and D cups in the late 1930s. Catalog companies continued to use the designations Small, Medium and Large through the 1940s.  In the 1930s, Dunlop chemists were able to reliably transform rubber latex into elastic thread. After 1940, “whirlpool,” or concentric stitching was used to shape the cup structure of some designs.  The man-made fibers were quickly adopted by the industry because of their easy-care properties. Since a brassiere must be laundered frequently, this was of great importance.  In 1937, Warners added cup sizes (A, B, C and D) to their product line, and other manufacturers gradually followed, but Britain did not take up the American standard until the 1950s.   The underwire was first added to a strapless bra in 1937 by André, a custom-bra firm.  Maidenform introduced brassieres with seamless cups in 1933, but resisted using cup sizes for its products until 1949. Sears Roebuck finally applied cup sizes to bras in its catalog in the 1950s.  The band measurement system was created by U.S. bra manufacturers just after World War II when the supposed ideal American female hourglass figure measured 36"-24"-36" (91-61-91 cm).

Cup measurement origins


Parisienne Madaleine Gabeau received a U.S. patent on November 21, 1911 for a brassiere with soft cups and a metal band that supported and separated the breasts. To avoid the prevailing fashion that created a single "monobosom", her design provided "that the edges of the material d may be carried close along the inner and under contours of the breasts, so as to preserve their form, I employ an outlining band of metal b which is bent to confirm to the lower curves of the breast."  The term “cup” was not used to describe bras until 1916 when two patents were filed.  In October 1932, the S.H. Camp and Company correlated the size and pendulousness of a woman's breasts to letters of the alphabet, A through D. Camp's advertising featured letter-labeled profiles of breasts in the February 1933 issue of Corset and Underwear Review.  Patents for underwire-type devices in bras were issued in 1931 and 1932, but such devices were not widely adopted by manufacturers until after World War II when metal shortages eased.  The man-made fibers were quickly adopted by the industry because of their easy-care properties. Since a brassiere must be laundered frequently, this was of great importance.  In 1937, Warner began to feature cup sizing in its products. Two other companies, Model and Fay-Miss, also began to offer A, B, C and D cups in the late 1930s. Catalog companies continued to use the designations Small, Medium and Large through the 1940s.


Calculating cup volume and breast weight


The average breast weighs about 0.5 kilograms (1.1 lb).  The density of fatty tissue is more or less equal to 0.9 for all women. The volume of a woman's individual breasts can vary.  Bra designers can give it the shape of a hemisphere or a hemi-spheroid by fitting it in a cup. If the bust is considered essentially a half-sphere, its volume V is determined by the following formula.

Description: V={2 \pi r^3 \over 3}

Description: V={2.1 \times r^3}

Description: V={0.26 \times D^3}

where D is the diameter of the sphere, and r is its radius.  If the breast is shaped more like a spheroid, the designer might use a formula like the following:

Description: V={0.26 \times D_b^2 \times h}

where Db equals diameter of the hemi-spheroid's base and h equals the height of the spheroid. Other formulas can be derived as needed to design bras for differently shaped breasts. All of these formulas assume that breasts conform to a mathematical model.  Cups give a hemi spherical shape to breasts and underwires give shape to cups. So the curvature radius of the underwire is the key parameter to determine volume and weight of the breast. The same underwire is used for the cup of size 36A, 34B, 32C, 30D and etc... so those cup have the same volume. The reference number of underwire size is based on B cup bra, for example underwire size 32 is for 32B cup (and 34A, 30C...). An underwire size 30 with has a curvature diameter of 3 inch 5/6 ≈ 9.7 cm and this diameter increase of ⅓ inch ≈ 0.847 cm by size.

Underwire size

Bra size

Cup diameter

Volume of one cup

Weight of both breasts


32A 30B

9.7 cm (3 in 5/6)

240 cc (0.51 US pt)

0.43 kg (0.95 lb)


32B 30C

10.6 cm (4 in 1/6)

310 cc (0.66 US pt)

0.56 kg (1.2 lb)


34B 32C 30D

11.4 cm (4 in 1/2)

390 cc (0.82 US pt)

0.70 kg (1.5 lb)


36B 34C 32D

12.3 cm (4 in 5/6)

480 cc (1.0 US pt)

0.86 kg (1.9 lb)


38B 36C 34D 32E

13.1 cm (5 in 1/6)

590 cc (1.2 US pt)

1.1 kg (2.4 lb)


40B 38C ... 32F

14.0 cm (5 in 1/2)

710 cc (1.5 US pt)

1.3 kg (2.9 lb)


42B 40C ... 32G

14.8 cm (5 in 5/6)

850 cc (1.8 US pt)

1.5 kg (3.3 lb)


44B 42C ... 32H

15.7 cm (6 in 1/6)

1,000 cc (2.1 US pt)

1.8 kg (4.0 lb)


46B 44C ... 32I

16.5 cm (6 in 1/2)

1,180 cc (2.5 US pt)

2.1 kg (4.6 lb)


48B 46C ... 32J

17.4 cm (6 in 5/6)

1,370 cc (2.9 US pt)

2.5 kg (5.5 lb)


50B 48C ... 32K

18.2 cm (7 in 1/6)

1,580 cc (3.3 US pt)

2.8 kg (6.2 lb)


52B 50C ... 32L

19.0 cm (7 in 1/2)

1,810 cc (3.8 US pt)

3.3 kg (7.3 lb)


54B 52C ... 32M

19.9 cm (7 in 5/6)

2,060 cc (4.4 US pt)

3.7 kg (8.2 lb)


56B 54C ... 32N

20.7 cm (8 in 1/6)

2,340 cc (4.9 US pt)

4.2 kg (9.3 lb)


58B 56C ... 32O

21.6 cm (8 in 1/2)

2,640 cc (5.6 US pt)

4.8 kg (11 lb)


60B 58C ... 32P

22.4 cm (8 in 5/6)

3,000 cc (6.3 US pt)

5.3 kg (12 lb)


This information is from


How Big is an A Cup?


The A cup is the smallest size class of brassieres for adult women. Just how big an A cup is varies on both sides of the Atlantic. Wherever women live, however, knowing the approximate dimensions of an A cup is important for fit, comfort and fashionable appearance.


Cup size is measured by the difference between chest measurement below the breast (let’s call this “measurement 1”) and that around the fullest portion of the breast itself (“measurement 2”, for convenience). In the United Kingdom, an A cup can be as little 0.1 inch and up to 1 inch more than chest size. By United States standards, breast size being 0.6 to 1.5 inches more than chest size determines how big an A cup is.


The other method is to measure around the flat part of the chest above the bust (call this “measurement 3”). Once again, measurement 3 less measurement 2 should give women an idea of the bust fullness that will guide their bra purchase. This alternate method works fine when the woman reliably knows from past purchases that she is a cup A or B.


Whichever method is used, how big an A cup is means a bust fullness of just one-tenth of an inch and up to 1.5 inches more than the unclothed rib cage. And when one realizes that even 1.5 inches accounts for both breasts, it stands to reason that A sizes are more common in training bras for prepubescent girls or adult women who are distinctly underendowed.


It is best to have a friend, another family member or a lingerie section saleslady help. Maintaining the proper position is important.   Attempting to take any of the measurements unaided risks overestimating them. For example, the tape might unknowingly not be perfectly horizontal around the back. Or the very act of cocking one’s arms and swinging them around to the back (as when attempting to fasten a bra) flexes the pectoral and deltoid muscles. So you end up with measurements 1 or 3 that are larger than they should be (and a smaller cup size than you deserve).


Proper posture, being comfortable and relaxed without throwing out one’s chest or taking a deep breath are also key to accurately measuring one’s cup size.  Taking these measurements unclothed is the most accurate way for seeing how big an A cup is. In modest cultures, one may opt to wear a comfortable, unpadded bra. Certainly, the push-up type will not do.


Getting a handle on just how big an A cup is means subtracting measurements 1 and 3 from measurement 2. As long as the difference, the fullness of one’s bust is no greater than 1.5 inches (in U.S. stores) or 1 inch (in the UK), then one can confidently opt for an A cup on the next purchase.



How Big is a D Cup Anyway?


Before you can determine whether or not you need to get a D cup bra, you first need to get measurements as accurately as possible. To measure your cup size, take your band measurement first.  Take your measuring tape and place it around your upper torso, just below your breasts. This will be your band size. Now to get your breast measurements, wrap your measuring tape around your back all the way to the front of your breasts just at the tip of the nipples.  Next, subtract your band size from your bust size. The difference will be your cup size. 


A D cup will have a difference of about four inches or between eight and ten centimeters. This is based on US, UK and International standard measurements. A Double D on the other hand will have a difference of about five inches or ten to twelve centimeters. Again, this is based on US and UK standard measurements.  International standards however will already peg this bra size as E cup. 


Other D Cup Sizes


In the US, there are also the Triple D and the Quadruple D; where the former has a difference of about six inches or from twelve to fourteen centimeters; while the latter has a difference of seven inches or about fourteen to sixteen centimeters.  Incidentally, DDD is also referred to as F and a DDDD is also known as G in US standards.  On the other hand, a DDD is pegged as an E cup in the UK and an F cup in International standard measurements. Quadruple D or DDDD meanwhile is an F cup in the UK and a G cup in International standards. 



by Richard Walkerdine


A bit different again this month. These are not really heartthrobs (though the two girls are certainly pretty enough). These are actually tragedies from the pop music industry, which is why they are close to my heart. We start with someone of whom many of you will never have heard, Lena Zavaroni.


 Her father was an Italian soldier in World War 2 who was captured by the British and put in a prisoner-of-war camp in Scotland. When the war ended he was released but decided to stay in Scotland. He later met a Scottish lass and got married and Lena was the result, being born in 1963. The family lived in the small village of Rothesay on the island of Bute off the Scottish coast.


The whole family was musical but Lena was especially so. At the age of 10 she took part in a TV talent show and won it for a record breaking 5 weeks. In the same year she released her first album (Ma! He’s Making Eyes At Me!) and remains to this day the youngest ever singer to enter the UK album chart top 10. It also reached number 10 in the singles chart. Many more albums and singles were to follow (I only have a few of her singles but ‘Somewhere South Of Macon’ (1981) is my favourite) but there were no really big hits.


But at the age of 13 she developed anorexia nervosa (probably a combination of her very young age and the pressures of the pop industry) and after battling it for 20 years finally died in 1999 aged 35 and weighing less than 70lbs. A very sad end.


But the inhabitants of her home village had such respect for both her and her family that they funded a statue of her in her honour. Lena is sadly long gone, but the statue remains as a lasting tribute to what might have been. Goodbye Lena.


When you finish wiping your eyes we need to move on to Kirsty.


In the mid 1960s, still a teenager, I often went to London on a Saturday evening to visit a folk club. It featured the British folk singer Ewan MacColl and the American folk singer Peggy Seeger, plus many guests. It was very entertaining and very enjoyable and I went there many times. Unbeknown to me at the time Ewan and Peggy had already started an affair that was to last for many years, but that is not really part of this article.


His daughter, Kirsty, was born in 1959 and followed her father into the music business. Not as a folk singer but more as a pop singer (which of course was the most popular style at the time – as it is to this day). Her first single release was ‘They Don’t Know’ in 1979 and her first real chart success was ‘A New England’ which reached number 7 in 1985 (yes, of course I have copies). She wrote many of her own songs and often managed to insert a bit of sarcasm into them. The single ‘There’s a Guy Works Down The Chip Shop Swears He’s Elvis’ has the follow up line ‘ just like you swore to me that you’d be true’ followed by  ‘but he’s a liar and I’m not sure about you’. There is a line from the song ‘A New England’ which goes ‘I put you on a pedestal, you put me on the Pill’. She is probably best remembered though for her combination with the Irish group The Pogues on ‘Fairytale Of New York’ which reached number 2 in 1987. It was also re-released twice more and reached numbers 3 and 4 in the charts. To this day that song is still played in British department stores every Christmas. If you are not familiar with it look up the video on Google or YouTube, you will not be disappointed.


But on December 18th 2000 Kirsty was on holiday in Cozumel, Mexico with her two young sons. They went for swim in an area where watercraft were restricted from entering. However a speedboat entered the area. Kirsty saw it and pushed her son out of the way, as a result he suffered only very minor injuries. Kirsty however was killed instantly.


The passenger on the speedboat was a Mexican millionaire and several eye witnesses claimed that he was driving the boat – which he had no right and no licence to do. But it is alleged that a lot of money changed hands and he was never prosecuted. The owner of the boat escaped with just a small fine (I wonder who paid it?).

For many years Kirsty’s mother made annual trips to Mexico to try to get justice for her daughter, but to no avail. A very sad end to a promising career and a devoted mother. Goodbye Kirsty.


[[Ed. - In the U.S., Kirsty was relatively unknown.  Her song “They Don’t Know About Us” was a moderate hit for Tracey Ullman here, spurred on by some decent airplay for her music video that had a Paul McCartney cameo in the last scene.  I first discovered Kirsty and fell in love with her voice on the “She’s Having a Baby” soundtrack, where her song “You Just Haven’t Earned it Yet Baby” appears.]]


But if I am to do an article on pop tragedies I just have to include John Lennon.

No need to go through his career as a member of The Beatles, or his divorce from Cynthia and eventual marriage to Yoko Ono and then his solo career. You all know that only too well. I won’t even bother to list his many hit singles (of which of course I have several) as they are so well known.


But at around 10.50pm on Dec 8th 1980, as he and Yoko were returning to their apartment block in New York, he was shot four times in the back by Mark Chapman. Earlier that day he had autographed a copy of a record for Chapman. He was taken to Roosevelt Hospital but pronounced dead on arrival at 11.07pm.


Chapman pleaded guilty to second degree murder and was sentenced to 20 years to life. As of 2011 he remains in prison, having been denied parole six times. Long may it continue. American gun laws are just insane. Goodbye John.






This article took me several weeks to write. Given its subject it is both one of the most difficult but also the most satisfying I have ever written. I won’t do another like this but I do want to also say goodbye to all those other stars of music, film and other media who have died in tragic circumstances and who we will miss forever. Goodbye to you all.







by Richard Walkerdine


It may come as a surprise to some people to learn there are more Catholic churches in Los Angeles than there are casinos. But there are nevertheless quite a lot of casinos and some worshippers at the Sunday service will often put casino chips rather than cash in the basket when it is passed around.


The chips are of course from many different casinos. But the churches have devised a rather neat method of redeeming these offerings.


The chips are sent to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting. The sorted chips are then taken to each casino and cashed in.


The cashing in is of course also done by the chip monks....





by Richard Walkerdine



A woman gave birth to identical twin boys, but because of her circumstances at the time had to give them up for adoption.


One of the twins was adopted by an Egyptian couple and named Amal.


The other was adopted by a Spanish couple and named Juan.


Many years later Juan sent a picture of himself to his birth mother.


She showed it to her husband and said, “Oh I wish I had a picture of the other boy.”


To which her husband replied, “But they are identical twins. So if you’ve seen Juan then you’ve seen Amal.”




Eternal Sunshine Index – ESI

A Scientific Measure of Zine Health

Current Index: 50.10 +1.48%



The Eternal Sunshine Index is a stock-market-like index of the zine. You don’t do anything in this game, except write press or commentary on price movements (or why you think your stock should have gone up or down).  I move the prices beginning with next issue based on my own private formula of quantity and quality zine participation (NMR’s, press, columns, etc.).  Any new zine participants become new issues valued at at 50, but the stock for anyone who disappears will remain listed.  The average of all listed stocks will result in the ESI closing value each month, which will be charted issue to issue after we have a few months’ worth of data.  If you don’t like the stock symbol I have assigned you, you may petition the exchange to change it.  Blame Phil Murphy for suggesting this section to me.


Market Commentary: Many of those who have stopped participating are now in single digits.  Only one major NMR this issue, so with three columns and decent participation we move up again, despite my internal feeling that things have slowed quite a bit.  Mark Nelson’s IPO is added to the ticker list.




% +/-

AJK - Allison Kent



ALM - Hank Alme



AMB - Amber Smith



AND - Lance Anderson



BAB - Chris Babcock



BIE - John Biehl



BRG - Martin Burgdorf



BWD - Brad Wilson



CAK - Andy Lischett



CAL - Cal White



CHC - Chuy Cronin



CIA - Tom Swider



CKW - Kevin Wilson



CKY - Carol Kay



DAN - Dane Maslen



DBG - David Burgess



DTC - Brendan Whyte



DUK - Don Williams



FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer



FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois



FRT - Mark Firth



GRA - Graham Wilson



HDT - Heather Taylor



HLJ - Harley Jordan



HPL - Hugh Polley



JOD - Jeff O'Donnell



KMP - Geoff Kemp



KVT - Kevin Tighe



LAT - David Latimer



LCR - Larry Cronin



MRK - Mark Nelson



MCC - David McCrumb



MCR - Michael Cronin



MIM - Michael Moulton



MRC - Marc Ellinger



OTS - Tom Howell



PER - Per Westling



PJM - Phil Murphy



QUI - Michael Quirk



RAC - Robin ap Cynan



RDP - Rick Desper



REB - Melinda Holley



RED - Paraic Reddington



SAK - Jack McHugh



TAP - Jim Burgess



VOG - Pat Vogelsang



WAY - W. Andrew York



WLK - Richard Walkerdine



WWW - William Wood



YLP - Paul Milewski




Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh –

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #36




I don’t think I could make this kind of shit up if I tried.  That job I got?  The one I got after being unemployed so long that all my unemployment benefits had run out?  The one I so desperately needed?  Well, I had it for less than two weeks.  Then, driving home on a Friday my recruiter called to tell me I was laid off.  It wasn’t until the next day when my boss called me that I discovered why: he’d lost three positions in his department – one of which was mine – because they were being outsourced to India.  I kid you not.  Who did I eternally piss off to cause this eternal avalanche of shit to forever roll down the mountain onto my back?  Can I have just one break?  ONE?  Un-fucking-believable.  So now I’m out of work again.  Anybody who knows ANYONE looking for I.T. or Help Desk people in the Camden/Philadelphia area PLEASE let me know.  In the meantime, here’s some shit for you to read or look at.  If you don’t like it, you can go shove sand up your ass for all I care.


In case you didn’t realize it yet, I hate all of you.







There is a lesson to be learned in the following photos. Look at them carefully and pay close attention to the time stamp on each picture. This is amazing.


These pictures are said to have been taken by a fellow from Grande Cache, Alberta, 1.5 hours south of

Grand Prairie, by the Berland river on Highway 40.


Be sure and look at the time frame in the bottom right-hand corner of each picture...




Now here is the lesson explained, in case you missed it: It took Yogi just ten minutes to pick up a lady

bear, invite her to dinner, feed her a terrific meal, and get laid.  Is this guy good or what...???!!!







A game of survival, bad breath, and fish odor…


This is the simple game of Lifeboat.  Everyone plays this, whether you participate or not.  Each turn everyone still alive in the lifeboat may make a single vote to throw someone off the lifeboat, or a single vote to remove one vote from yourself (a defensive measure).  The high vote getter is thrown overboard, as well as any player getting 2 or more net votes (due to the damage caused when Sanka was tossed overboard).  In a tie, everyone with that score is thrown over.  Last one in the boat wins.  I’ll probably give a prize, as usual.  Press is encouraged.  Note that the votes themselves are NOT revealed.  I just simply announce who is thrown overboard.  If you’re not listed as in the lifeboat right now but want to be, email me and I will add you next issue.  If you are listed and don’t’ want to be…well, too bad.  There is no suicide in this game; you just can ignore it if you want to. 

Currently in the lifeboat:

Allison Kent

Amber Smith

Andy Lischett

Brad Wilson

Brendan Whyte

Cal White

Carol Kay

Chuy Cronin

Dane Maslen

David Burgess

David Latimer

David McCrumb

Don Williams

Geoff Kemp

Graham Wilson

Hank Alme

Harley Jordan

Heather Taylor

Hugh Polley

Jeff O'Donnell

Jeremie Lefrancois

Jim Burgess

John Biehl

Kayza the Dog

Kevin Tighe

Kevin Wilson

Lance Anderson

Larry Cronin

Marc Ellinger

Mark Firth

Martin Burgdorf

Melinda Holley

Michael Cronin

Michael Moulton

Michael Quirk

Pat Vogelsang

Paul Milewski

Per Westling

Rick Desper

Robin ap Cynan

Tom Howell

Tom Swider

William Wood


Fred Wiedemeyer and Phil Murphy begin a conversation about email addresses, and pretty soon the weight of the countless addresses they each have (or have had in the past year) submerges the portion of the raft they are sitting on.  It quickly bobs back up…but without Fred and Phil.  Adios!


Thrown Into the Shark Infested Waters: Douglas Kent, Jack McHugh, Richard Walkerdine, Chris Babcock, Paraic Reddington, Sanka the Cat, Andy York, Toby the Helpful Kitty, Phil Murphy, Fred Wiedemeyer.



Anonymouse: Hey!  Everybody paddle after Toby!  Maybe he'll lead us to a resort island where we'll be saved!


Kayza the Dog:  Yikes!  With Andy the Yorkshireman overboard, who's safe?  Next, it'll be the nice Mr. Burgess, the six-handed economist.


ANONYMOUS to ANONYMOUS: How come no one is stepping up to stand behind their words?  Is this like passing notes with your foot?


MASKED MAN IN A MAC:  Toss Miss Kitty.  She knows why.


Anonymous: One person and a cat?  Is that really all we could manage to throw overboard even with the new rules?  Either most of you aren't submitting orders or we're spreading our efforts too thinly.  To counteract the latter possibility, I suggest that next time we all try throwing someone overboard whose name begins with a 'K'.  Maybe then we can make enough space on this lifeboat for me to sit down.  My legs are killing me after so many months stood up.


ANONYMOUS to Allison Kent: Latimer is a fine name, no reason to throw him off, reminds me of Larry Botimer, who at first glance I thought it was.


ANONYMOUS to Sanka the Cat: Mean they are.  I just want you to know that if I get thrown in after you, I'll come save you and we can sink this entire lifeboat on these guys.  Sheesh!!!


Anonymous: Someone with the nickname 'Duck' should be able to survive so shove him over the side I say.


Deadline for your vote and any press is November 29th at 7:00am my time






Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki? v1.0

by Howard Bishop




The basic of the object is to discover the whereabouts and identity of a mystery personality, who is lost and alone somewhere in the world with "the dark forces" closing in. You must find him (or her) before "they" do. Each turn you must set up your high-powered transmitter in a new location and try to find get a reply from "the wrestler who out from the warm".




1.1 It is very very unlikely (although not impossible) that the mystery person will be the masked wrestling genius Kendo Nagasaki, since this would be too easy to guess. In fact it probably be won't be a wrestler at all. Don't rule out a masked genius competing in other pantomime sports. The person is probably still alive, but I make no apologies if the person I choose has secretly popped his clogs while out of the public eye.

1.2 The hiding place for Kendo (or his proxy) is a large town or a city. It's quite likely that you've heard of it, even if you've never travelled further than 50 miles from the place you were born. It's probably fair to say that it won't be Hebden Bridge or Stowmarket, even if Kendo was born in one of those fine towns.




2.1 Each turn you move your secret transmitter to somewhere in the world. Actually it's not that secret because you tell me and then I tell all the other players where you are too.

2.2 I then have to work out which of the players is the closest to "the chap or wench who is not Kendo Nagasaki". This bit becomes significant in a minute, honest!

2.3 Also on each turn you have to guess the name of the person. This isn't secret either because everyone gets to hear everyone else's guesses too.

2.4 Now comes the clever bit. Actually not that clever, and pretty contrived too, but you'll just have to live with it OK? The player whose transmitter is closest to "the person who isn't Kendo" will be informed of the fact and the mystery man will respond to the name suggested by that player.

2.5 Everyone gets to hear the response, but only the closest player will know that the answer refers to his suggested name. This may help you to work out who was closest, or it may just cause you to be even more confused than you are now.




3.1 You win by being in the same location and guessing the name correctly, i.e. bringing Kendo home.

3.2 On turn 10 if nobody has won, we draw the whole sorry thing to a close and the sinister conspirators win.


Example turn (for this game, the mystery personality is Billy Graham in St Petersburg)



Bob goes to Montevideo and suggests John Parrott

Hilda goes to Frankfurt and suggests Bill Gates

Gilbert goes to Sacramento and suggests Rowan Atkinson

Liam goes to Accrington and suggests Tina Turner



Consults globe.

Works out that Hilda is closest. Hilda is informed of the fact.

All players receive the locations and suggestions from the other players.

They are all given the following answer "You have my name about half right", but only Hilda knows that it refers to her suggestion.


So come on people!  Send in your Round 1 guesses.  I’ve played this in Brandon Whyte’s Damn the Consequences a few times and it’s fun, takes only a minute or two each turn, and helps you work your brain!


Deadline for Round 1 is November 29th at 7:00am My Time







Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Mark Firth, John Biehl, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, need 3 more to fill.  Sign up now!

Youngstown IV – The classic 10-player variant, which seems to have fallen through the cracks lately.  Jack McHugh is going to write an article on it for Diplomacy World, but he wants to play again first, so sign up and help out!  Signed up: Jack McHugh, Brad Wilson, Geoff Kemp, Martin Burgdorf, Don Williams, need 5 more.  Sign up now!!!

Balkan Wars VI – To be Guest GM’d by Brad Wilson: Signed up: Doug Kent (that’s me folks), Jack McHugh, Lance Anderson, needs 3 more.  Contact Brad to sign up at bwdolphin146 “of”  Sign up now!!!  HURRY!!!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant.  Rules are in ES #47.  Join in at any time!

By Almost Popular Demand: Underway, join anytime.

23 Tunes: Game currently underway, join any time. 

Lifeboat: Everybody plays, whether you actually do anything or not. 

Movie Photo Contest: 10 Rounds, beginning this issue.  Join anytime!

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?: Rules in this issue.  Send in your guess!  Join anytime!

Standby List: HELP!  I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill.  When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it.  If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch.  If you have specific game requests please let me know.




Eternal Sunshine Game Section



Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, W 14/S 15


Austria (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” Build A Budapest..

 A Belgium Supports A Holland, A Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), A Budapest Hold, A Venice Hold,

 A Gascony Supports F Marseilles - Spain(sc), A Holland Supports A Belgium, A Kiel – Denmark, A Munich – Kiel,

 A Paris Supports A Picardy, A Picardy Supports A Paris, A Ruhr Supports A Belgium, A Silesia – Munich,

 A Sweden - Norway (*Bounce*), F Western Mediterranean Supports F Spain(sc) - Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

England (Philip Murphy - trekkypj “of” Remove F Portugal..

 F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), A Finland Supports F St Petersburg(nc),

 A Liverpool Supports A Yorkshire – Edinburgh, F North Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea (*Bounce*),

 F Norwegian Sea - Norway (*Bounce*), F St Petersburg(nc) Supports F Norwegian Sea - Norway (*Cut*),

 A Yorkshire - Edinburgh.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” Retreat F North Atlantic Ocean - Clyde.. Build A Ankara,

 F Smyrna, plays 2 short.. F Aegean Sea - Ionian Sea, A Ankara – Armenia,

 F Clyde - North Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), F Marseilles - Spain(sc) (*Fails*),

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea (*Bounce*), A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Fails*),

 F North Africa Supports F Spain(sc) - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), F Rome Hold, F Smyrna - Aegean Sea,

 F Spain(sc) - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), A Warsaw - Livonia.



Real-World issues are causing Phil to most likely need to drop for now.

Would Kevin Tighe please take over for England?

Fall 1915 Deadline is November 29th at 7:00am my time


 “Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse

Billy Ray Valentine: Missing in action.


Duke of York: Sells 500 Pounds.  Buys 653 Piastres.


Smaug the Dragon: Nothing.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Pounds.  Buys 143 Crowns and 182 Piastres.


Baron Wuffet: Who?


Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Yeah, right….


VAIONT Enterprises: I doubt it.


Insider Trading LLC: Greedy banker, probably.


Bourse Master: Sells 500 Pounds.  Buys 834 Piastres.


Next Bourse Deadline is November 28th at 7:00pm my time



DUKE OF YORK to USELESS BOURSERS: OK, you've gone far enough, time to claim some profits at that over-priced Austrian currency.  Looks like the Wooden Nickels will get out of Pounds before England runs out of

centers, but not by much.


Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, W 12/S 13

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” F Ionian Sea – Apulia,
 A Vienna Supports A Trieste - Budapest.

England (Fred Wiedemeyerwiedem “of” Build A London.. F Barents Sea Hold,

 F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F English Channel Convoys A London – Brest, A London – Brest, A Paris – Gascony,

 A St Petersburg - Moscow (*Fails*), F Tunis - Ionian Sea (*Fails*), F Tyrrhenian Sea – Naples,

 F Western Mediterranean - Tyrrhenian Sea.

France (Hank Almealmehj “of” F Portugal Hold.

Germany (Harley Jordanharleyj “of” F Baltic Sea – Prussia, A Bohemia - Galicia (*Fails*),

 A Galicia - Warsaw (*Fails*), A Gascony – Spain, F Gulf of Bothnia - Baltic Sea,

 A Livonia Supports A Galicia – Warsaw, A Rome Supports F Ionian Sea – Apulia,

 A Silesia Supports A Galicia – Warsaw, A Trieste – Budapest, A Tyrolia Supports A Venice – Trieste,

 A Venice - Trieste.

Russia (John Biehljerbil “of” Build A Sevastopol..F Adriatic Sea Supports F Aegean Sea – Ionian

 Sea, F Aegean Sea - Ionian Sea, A Albania - Serbia (*Bounce*),

 F Eastern Mediterranean Supports F Aegean Sea - Ionian Sea, A Greece - Serbia (*Bounce*), A Moscow Hold,

 A Rumania Supports A Warsaw – Galicia, A Serbia - Budapest (*Fails*), A Sevastopol Supports A Moscow,

 A Ukraine Supports A Warsaw – Galicia, A Warsaw - Galicia (*Fails*).


Now Proposed – Concession to Germany – Please vote with your orders!

F 13 Deadline is November 29th at 7:00am my time




From the bowels of the Turkish press: The GM says we suck for press. Maybe if we organized one of those silly wallstreet protests, we'd get more press. And talking about those silly tent city protests ( just as bad as the nutty environnmentalists, or some of those animal right groups), how hypocritical is the news of VW planning to open a second Lamborghini dealership in India ?? Nothing like capitalism!! Gotta love it.


Oops, the GM just knocked on my desk," press about this game dummy!!"

Ok, Ok   - - let's see.


Turkey - you suck! - oh, wait, we are the Turkish press. Can't say that about ourselves.


From the bowels of the Turkish press: The rest of Europe sucks .


Moscow (Apr 1, 1913): The Russian Government views the landing of a British Expeditionary force in St Petersburg as an imperialist provocation. Chairman Dimitri Ivanov opined "This is a clear example of a 'corrupted lackyism' of the spineless English to their German autocratic cousins."


Black Press Gunboat, “Scream” 2010Brb32, F 06


England: F Edinburgh Supports A Liverpool – Clyde, A Liverpool – Clyde,

 F Norwegian Sea - North Sea (*Bounce*).

France: Retreat A Holland - Kiel.. A Belgium Supports A Holland,

 F Gulf of Lyon Supports F Western Mediterranean - Tyrrhenian Sea, A Holland Supports A Belgium (*Cut*),

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - North Africa, A Piedmont – Tyrolia, F Western Mediterranean - Tyrrhenian Sea.

Germany: Retreat A Rome - Tuscany.. F Clyde - Edinburgh (*Dislodged*, retreat to North Atlantic Ocean

 or OTB), A Kiel - Holland (*Fails*), A Munich – Burgundy, F North Sea – London,

 A Ruhr Supports A Kiel - Holland.

Italy: A Tuscany - Rome (*Fails*).

Russia: A Berlin Supports A Prussia – Silesia, A Budapest Supports A Trieste – Serbia, A Denmark Hold,

 F Norway - North Sea (*Bounce*), A Prussia – Silesia, F Sevastopol Hold, F Skagerrak Supports A Denmark,

 A St Petersburg - Norway (*Fails*), A Trieste – Serbia, A Ukraine Supports F Sevastopol, A Venice - Trieste.

Turkey: F Adriatic Sea - Ionian Sea, A Armenia - Sevastopol (*Fails*),

 F Black Sea Supports A Armenia – Sevastopol, A Bulgaria Supports A Serbia – Rumania,

 F Naples Supports F Rome, F Rome Supports F Tunis - Tyrrhenian Sea (*Cut*), A Serbia – Rumania,

 F Tunis - Tyrrhenian Sea (*Fails*).


W 06/S 07 deadline is November 29th at 7:00am my time





Supply Center Chart


England:          Edinburgh, Liverpool=2, Remove 1

France:            Belgium, Brest, Holland, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=7, Build 1

Germany:         Kiel, London, Munich=3, Remove 1 or 2

Russia:             Berlin, Budapest, Denmark, Moscow, Norway, Serbia, Sevastopol, St Petersburg,

Sweden, Trieste, Venice, Vienna, Warsaw=13, Build 2

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Naples, Rome, Rumania, Smyrna, Tunis=9, Build 1




PARIS: I don't think this will work ... but we will see.



Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, W 04/S 05


Austria (Paul Milewskipaul.milewski “of” Build A Trieste.. A Budapest – Vienna,

 A Galicia – Budapest, A Trieste Supports A Budapest – Vienna, A Ukraine - Rumania (*Fails*),

 A Warsaw - Moscow.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” Build F Edinburgh.. F Denmark - Kiel (*Bounce*),

 F Edinburgh - North Sea (*Fails*), F Helgoland Bight Supports F North Sea – Holland,

 F North Sea - Holland (*Fails*), F Norway - St Petersburg(nc), A St Petersburg – Livonia,

 F Sweden - Baltic Sea (*Fails*).

France (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” Build A Marseilles.. A Brest – Picardy,

 A Burgundy - Ruhr (*Fails*), A Marseilles – Piedmont, A Paris - Burgundy (*Fails*),

 F Tunis Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea - Ionian Sea, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Ionian Sea.

Germany (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” Build A Munich.. F Baltic Sea - Kiel (*Bounce*),

 A Belgium Supports A Holland, A Holland Supports F Baltic Sea - Kiel (*Cut*), A Kiel – Ruhr,

 A Munich Supports A Kiel - Ruhr.

Italy (Hank Alme – almehj “of” NMR! Plays 1 short.. F Ionian Sea Hold

 (*Dislodged*, retreat to Eastern Mediterranean or Greece or Albania or Adriatic Sea or Apulia or OTB),

 F Naples Hold, F Rome Hold.

Russia (Jack McHugh jwmchughjr “of” A Rumania Supports A Vienna - Budapest (*Cut*),

 F Sevastopol Supports A Rumania,

 A Vienna - Budapest (*Dislodged*, retreat to Galicia or Bohemia or Tyrolia or OTB).

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of” F Aegean Sea - Ionian Sea (*Fails*),

 F Black Sea Supports A Bulgaria – Rumania, A Bulgaria - Rumania (*Fails*),

 F Constantinople - Bulgaria(sc) (*Fails*).


F 05 Deadline is November 29th at 7:00am my time




CON-SEV: Sorry, but crumbling cookies get eaten.


Eng - Ger:  . . . just another brick in the wall.


English Army - Aus:  Don't mind me.  I'm just looking for the Ho Chi Minh Trail.


Eng - Tur:  Hang in there, I'm sending for the Americans, though their Congress may not approve for a while.



Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, F 05

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations.  All press submitted will be printed.


Austria (Rick Desper): Retreat A Munich - Silesia.. A Berlin Supports A Munich,

 A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*), A Rumania Supports A Ukraine - Sevastopol (*Void*),

 A Serbia Supports A Rumania, A Silesia Supports A Berlin, A Tuscany – Rome,

 A Venice Supports A Tuscany - Rome.

England (Dave McCrumb): F English Channel Supports F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 F Gulf of Bothnia – Sweden, A London Hold, F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*),

 F St Petersburg(nc) - Norway (*Fails*), A Wales Hold.

France (Tom Howell): F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*), A Burgundy - Munich (*Fails*),

 F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc) (*Bounce*), A Holland Supports A Ruhr – Kiel, A Marseilles - Spain (*Bounce*),

 F Portugal Supports F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Ruhr - Kiel.

Germany (Jack McHugh): A Kiel Supports A Munich (*Disbanded*), A Munich Supports A Kiel (*Cut*),

 A Norway Checks Around for Any Boats in the Area (Hold).

Italy (Brad Wilson): F Aegean Sea – Constantinople, F Ionian Sea – Albania,

 A Rome - Venice (*Dislodged*, retreat to Apulia or Naples or OTB),

 F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc) (*Bounce*).

Russia (John Biehl): Retreat A Sevastopol - Moscow.. F Baltic Sea – Denmark, A Moscow – Sevastopol,

 A Ukraine Supports A Moscow - Sevastopol.

Turkey (Italy Must Win): Disband F Aegean Sea.. F Black Sea Supports F Sevastopol – Armenia,

 F Eastern Mediterranean – Syria, F Sevastopol - Armenia.



W 05/S 06 Deadline is November 29th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Berlin, Budapest, Rome, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Venice, Vienna=8, Build 1

England:          Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, St Petersburg, Sweden=5, Remove 1

France:            Belgium, Brest, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=8, Build 1

Germany:         Munich, Norway=2, Even

Italy:                Constantinople, Greece, Naples, Tunis=4, Even or Build 1

Russia:             Denmark, Moscow, Sevastopol, Warsaw=4, Build 1

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Smyrna=3, Even




You must Lose: because the players think you're the favorite.

SMY: You getting dizzy, too?

France-england: I will stay here and guard Germany unless he wait, I will not leave unless German and Italy that's not right either, you will stay there unless Russia moves into Denmark or Germany moves into nth..wait..I’ll keep workin on it


Admarilty-bwad: TWO ARMIES..Humpf, and we always thought you understood being British...turn in your anglophile card, you are no friend of England...


Italy must eat pasta-Italy must win: this is going to be harder than you think and do you have any grated parmesan cheese?


Russia must drink vodka-turkey must drink coffee: why are you picking on little ole' me? I'm not the one that took Gre from you ya know, <sniff, sniff>


Germany must drink beer-Germany must conquer Norway: well this is another fine mess you've gotten me into, I must say...


Germany must drink beer-Germany must conquer Norway: well this is another fine mess you've gotten me into, I must say...


Turkey must smoke cigs-Italy must win: why don't you go play in the west and I will go play with my Slavic friend?


Support your local Underdog!

Death to 1) Fra, 2) Eng, 3) Aus & 4) Tur


ITALY MUST WIN to PIKERS: An improvement for what? Austria will screw up again, count on it.


Black Press Gunboat, “Streets of Soho,” 2011Arb32, W 03/S 04

Austria: F Aegean Sea Supports A Bulgaria – Constantinople, A Budapest Supports A Vienna – Galicia,

 A Bulgaria – Constantinople, F Ionian Sea - Eastern Mediterranean, A Serbia Hold, A Vienna - Galicia.

England: Build A Edinburgh.. A Denmark - Kiel (*Fails*), A Edinburgh – Norway, F Irish Sea Hold,

 F North Sea Convoys A Edinburgh – Norway, F Norway – Sweden, F Skagerrak Supports F Norway - Sweden.

France: Build A Paris, F Brest.. F Brest - English Channel, A Holland Hold, A Marseilles Hold,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F Brest - English Channel, A Paris - Burgundy (*Bounce*),

 A Spain Supports A Marseilles, F Tunis - Ionian Sea.

Germany: Build A Kiel.. F Gulf of Bothnia - St Petersburg(sc), A Kiel Hold, A Munich - Burgundy (*Bounce*),

 A Prussia – Livonia, A Warsaw Supports A Prussia - Livonia.

Italy: Disband A Marseilles..Build F Naples.. F Gulf of Lyon - Tyrrhenian Sea,

 F Naples Supports F Gulf of Lyon - Tyrrhenian Sea, A Piedmont - Venice.

Russia: Remove A Rumania.. A Armenia Supports F Black Sea - Ankara (*Cut*), F Black Sea - Ankara (*Fails*),

 F Sevastopol - Black Sea (*Fails*).

Turkey: F Ankara Supports A Constantinople (*Cut*), A Constantinople Supports F Ankara (*Disbanded*),

 A Smyrna - Armenia (*Fails*).


F 04 Deadline is November 29th at 7:00am my time




AUSTRIA - NEW ITALY: We've been fine so far. Good luck vs France.


Next Constantinople…then the world!!!


ITALY to FRANCE:  Neat trick, getting me to NMR like that.  Talk about dodging a bullet.  Nicely done.


Liverpool Gazette:   Perhaps it’s time to carve up Germany?   Munich would be a great option this fall!




Diplomacy - “Lighthouse” - 2011? – Fall 1901

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” F Albania - Greece (*Bounce*), A Galicia – Budapest,

 A Serbia Supports F Albania - Greece (*Cut*).

England (Phil Murphy – trekkypj “of” F London - North Sea, F North Sea – Norway,

 A Wales Hold.

France (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” F Brest - English Channel, A Gascony – Spain,

 A Spain - Portugal.

Germany (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 “of” F Holland Supports A Ruhr – Belgium,

 A Kiel – Denmark, A Ruhr - Belgium.

Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” F Ionian Sea – Tunis, A Trieste - Serbia (*Fails*),

 A Venice - Trieste (*Fails*).

Russia (Fred Wiedemeyerwiedem “of” F Gulf of Bothnia – Sweden,

 F Rumania - Sevastopol (*Bounce*), A Sevastopol – Armenia, A Ukraine - Sevastopol (*Bounce*).

Turkey (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” F Black Sea Supports A Constantinople –

 Bulgaria (*Fails*), A Bulgaria - Greece (*Bounce*), A Constantinople - Bulgaria (*Fails*).


Real-World issues are causing Phil to most likely need to drop for now.

Would Paul Milewski (paul.milewski “of” please take over for England?

Winter 1901 Deadline is November 29th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Serbia, Vienna=3, Even

England:          Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway=4, Build 1

France:            Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=5, Build 2

Germany:         Belgium, Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich=6, Build 3

Italy:                Naples, Rome, Trieste, Tunis, Venice=5, Build 2

Russia:             Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Warsaw=6, Build 2

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Smyrna=4, Build 1

Unowned:        Greece.




TUR to all: well, it wasn't a boring Spring, that's for sure.


from the Russian Imperial Palace - Who is this Turkey Anderson, or is it Anderson turkey? Why has he not communicated with us? Why has he moved into the Black? Why is the Austrian attacking us? What happened to our Intelligence?  Use this new blue telegraph transceiver set that this PM sent us.


All to PM:  Thanks for the communications equipment.  I'm sure our alliance will put it to good use as we coordinate our armies on the continent.  And I guess a fleet or two as well.


BERLIN: Grow thy garden ...


If a red sox fan is the living dead, a yankee fan (after another playoff bust) must be what??  Heart-attack dead?? The groaning dead?? Hari-kari Dead?? What??



By Almost Popular Demand


The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the a popular answer but NOT the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. However, if your answer is the most popular answer, you score ZERO.  The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer.  Your score for this answer will be doubled.  In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.  Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds, and the score is doubled for Round 10.  A prize will be awarded to the winner.  Research is permitted!


Round 5 Categories

1. A song by Madonna.

2. A flavor of potato chip.

3. A sport.

4. A month of the year.

5. A brand of detergent.


Congrats to Kevin Tighe, who got 22 out of a possible 27.  Sad face for Andy York, who picked all 5 top answers, earning himself (and both players who NMR’d) a score of 0.


Selected Comments by Category:


General Comments – Rick Desper “I think it's hilarious that Bert was the most popular.  Oscar would have done OK.  People were avoiding Mother's Day, so that wouldn't have done well.  Toy car and wooden bridge would have been singletons and Bach was too popular.”


Madonna – Kevin Wilson “Lots to choose from here.  Hard to think what might be #1 to avoid, but here goes.”  Jim Burgess “Ray of Light, this is actually a GOOD Madonna song.”  Dane Maslen “I have a nasty suspicion that I'll score zero for the Madonna song.”


Potato Chip – Richard Walkerdine “I can’t abide the flavored ones.”  Per Westling “I was first thinking of non-flavored, but settled for "Cheese & Onion" which is the original taste together with "Salt & Vinegar" (according to Wikipedia).”  Kevin Wilson “I'm sure nacho or some such will be #1 but I'm not a fan of nacho chips so I'll go with my choice of preference.”


Sport – Per Westling “Actually I think it is stupid for Americans to call AmFoot football, when you use the feet to pass the ball so seldom! It is as if "soccer" (which most of the rest of the world call Football) should be called "handball" (as the goal keeper uses the hands, as do the players during throw-ins).  So, I will continue to call Football (= Soccer) for Football.”  Kevin Wilson “Given this is October which means playoff month for MLB, I think it may be #1 so I'll go with the next logical choice.  And I don't mean soccer.”  Dane Maslen “The answers to number 3 might cause you some problems because of the differences between American English and British English: if any Brit answers "football" or "hockey", he won't be meaning the same sport as any American giving the same answers...

  British "football" = American "soccer"

  American "football" = British "American football"

  British "hockey" = American "field hockey" (at least I think that's what you call it)

  American "hockey" = British "ice hockey"”


Month – Richard Walkerdine “December is my birth month; cash preferred to pressies.”


Detergent – Per Westling “Had to google on that. Ariel was listed as a laundry detergent on Wikipedia, so I go for that. That is a brand that is common here.”  Kevin Wilson “I had to stop and think to get something other than Tide so I'm guessing Tide will be #1 and thus to be avoided.”  Dane Maslen “'Persil' would be a bad answer here in the UK, but I get the impression that 'Tide' is the one to avoid in an American zine.”


Round 6 Categories

1. A type of bear.

2. A member of the Rolling Stones (current or former).

3. One of the original 13 colonies in what became the U.S.A.

4. A movie with a vampire or vampires.

5. A country that begins with the letter C.


Deadline for Round 6 is November 29th at 7:00am my time



Eternal Sunshine Movie Photo Contest


There are ten rounds of movie photos, and each round consists of ten photos.  Anyone may enter at any point. If you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds.  A prize will be awarded to the winner – and it might be a very good prize!  Research is not permitted!  That means NO RESEARCH OF ANY KIND, not just no searches for the photos themselves.  The only legal “research” is watching movies to try and locate the scenes.  Each round will also contain one bonus question, asking what the ten movies being quoted have in common.  The player with the most correct answers each round gets 3 points, 2nd place gets 2 points, and 3rd place gets 1 point.  In the event of ties, multiple players get the points (if three players tie for first, they EACH get 3 points).  High score at the end of ten rounds wins the game, and a prize (unless you cheated).  If there’s enough participation I may give a prize for 2nd and maybe even 3rd place overall too.  The final round will be worth double points.


Round 1


Bonus: What do these 10 movies have in common?


Deadline for Round 1 is November 29th at 7:00am my time




General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:  November 29th, 2011 at 7:00am my time.