Eternal Sunshine #61

February 2012

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX  75149

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Quote Of The Month“You hear me?  You’ll be gone!  A perfect ending to this piece of shit story!” (Joel in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)


Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine in the universe to have actually COMPLETED a game of Deviant Diplomacy.  Now that I think about it, that game was a lot of fun in many ways.  Do any of you have an interest in another game of it?  I’d actually prefer to get one of the current game openings filled though.  What does it take to start a variant these days?  Youngstown is a classic…great fun.  Balkan Wars is fast and cutthroat.  Aberration is a nice change of pace.  Narnian Wars is a variant which rarely saw the light of day, but I think I ran it twice in Maniac’s Paradise.  All of those are open and waiting right now…consider signing up for one of them.  Give something NEW a go!  Try something different!


Other variants I have offered in the past or would consider offering if anybody expressed interest include 1499: The Italian Wars, Cline 9-Man, Colonia VII-B, Woolworth, Get them Dots Now!, Winter 1898, and a number of others.  If you want to see the rules to any of these variants, or if you have variants you’d like to request for game openings, please let me know. 


You’ll notice in my playlist the long-awaited new CD by the incredible Antje Duvekot, New Siberia. 


[[Go buy it NOW, from CD Baby or Amazon or ITunes or wherever!]]


That CD also holds the distinction of being the first CD ever to include me in the liner notes.  Yeah, I suppose you can decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  I’m happy about it, either way.  From the first song I heard by Antje – Vertigo from her The Near Demise of the High Wire Dancer – I’ve been captivated by her music.  So it is a real joy just to have the CD finished and available.  And speaking of new CD’s, I’ll be sure to mention when the upcoming releases from former interview subjects like Raina Rose or Bernice Hembree of Three Penny Acre are available…both are finishing work on new projects as I type this. 


Oh well, Here’s my personal copy of the CD Antje sent to me, just to show off….



I’m not sure that I have much else to say this month.  Therapy continues once a week, but we’re really only getting started.  I haven’t done any writing this month, but part of the reason is that I’ve signed up for an online memoir-writing course that starts in a couple of weeks.  So I am sort of waiting on that to start before I dedicate some real time to writing again.  I think the teaching and the class feedback will both be of help to me.


I guess that’s about it.  Join in some of the fun…try something new, send a letter, write a column, sign up for a game.  The 23 Tunes project is now over, and perhaps when the 100 Movies project ends I will take Richard Walkerdine’s advice and do a 30 TV Series poll.  See you next month!


Playlist: Greatest Hits – The Byrds; New Siberia – Antje Duvekot; Soundtrack – Once; Hey it’s a Lonely World – Rebecca Loebe; Tupelo Honey – Van Morrison; When May Come – Raina Rose.



Hypothetical of the Month


Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1 - In order to marry someone you love, you must change your religion.  Do you do it?  #2 - You are visiting an unmarried, elderly aunt.  On the table is her will.  When she is out of the room, do you glance at it?


Andy Lischett - #1 - I kind of did - de facto anyway - change from Lutheran to Greek Orthodox, which is the only church I've attended for 28 years. I like the incense.    I'm not all that religious but can't see a problem with any Judeo-Christian church, although I'm not fond of rattlesnakes. I don't know much about Islam, Bhudism, Hinduism and other Eastern religions, but those might be harder to accept.


#2 - Not even a little.


John Wilman - #1 - I'm a (divorced) atheist so wouldn't be giving up much. Anything moderate would be fine, I got married in a church. However…Mormon = no, I'm addicted to caffeine.  Islam = no, I'm addicted to alcohol. And because I'm divorced, I guess those lousy Catholics wouldn't have me!


#2 - Sure I would - if I'm her pet cat!  Otherwise, would ask her if it is up to date and properly witnessed.


Rick Desper - #1 - No.


#2 - No.  Well that was easy!


Don Del Grande - #1 - It depends on how "religious" I have to be.  I am not particularly religious anyway, but if it means, for example, having to believe in Xenu, then "that's a dealbreaker" - and absolutely, positively, none of this "tithe" stuff.


#2 - This one is truly hypothetical, as both of my parents were only children...but no, I would not, in part because I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't intended to be the final will but was meant to be a trap of some sort to see who would blab about it.


Melinda Holley - #1 - For me, religion is different than faith.  Faith is personal and not subject to anyone else's dictate or opinion.  Religion is dependent upon ritual.  So if I need to engage in a ritual, so be it.  My faith remains. 


#2 - No.  But I would tell her that, while I didn't look at them, she shouldn't leave legal papers just lying out when people are around.


John Biehl - #1 - No, I would not change my religion. It is a matter of principle here - one should not 'change' belief simply to accommodate someone else. A change of religion just to please someone else will harm rather than help a relationship. This all supposes that both parties here actually believe in a religion or religions to begin with and whether the religions in question are compatible or not. Are we talking about religions that are close - Jewish/Christian say or something more exotic like Hinduism/Islam? The only logical response is No, do not change. One further point (which likely will elicit conservative reactionary responses) - although atheism is not per se a religion, it is a more believable and intelligent belief system (read 'religion') than any documented or historical religion ever can be.


#2 - Yes, I would look at the will after some temporary feelings of guilt for doing so. Really, curiosity would get the better of me in this situation. The will is lying there - it is an opportunity not expected so, yes, take a peak. I would not move it or turn any page for fear of discovery either later or if the elderly aunt walked back in the room.


Tom Howell - #1 - At my age? No. I'd find someone a bit more compatible. At a younger age? Dunno, but I hope not. In the event(s), I always found someone a bit more compatible.


#2 - I've already "glanced" at it, if I know it's her will. You're really asking if I look inside for details behind her back. No. But, I might initiate a discussion of wills with her to see where that might go.


Paul Rauterberg - #1 - Would I start believing in God to marry Robyn?  It would certainly dawn upon me.


#2 - From the outside, yeah.


Jamie McQuinn - #1 - Only if her religion is cooler than mine.


#2 - If it is open on the table, but won't open an envelope.


Andy York - #1 - It depends on defining "change your religion" as I'm pretty open to most/all of the various Christian denominations. I was raised Presbyterian, the last church I was a member of was a Reformed Churches of American (aka Dutch Reformed) which I joined while in high school. Instead, a change to something significantly different (paganism, Zorastrianism, etc) would likely be representative of significantly different viewpoints which would not be satisfied with a forced change of beliefs (which, in and of itself, would be "sore spot" moving into the future). This, therefore, would be indicative that the marriage was not a good idea and likely not sustainable.


#2 - No, why should I? I would never expect anything to be handed to me just because someone has passed on - and, if it were, it would be a welcome, but unexpected, gift.


Richard Walkerdine - #1 - No, as a lifelong atheist there is no way I would ever join any religion, no matter how much I loved the girl. And she would have known that as soon as she met me, so the matter would never arise.


#2 - Yes of course I take a glance at the will – where’s the harm in that? Claire and I have a copy of her father’s will, with which he is very comfortable.


Richard Weiss - #1 - I'm not sure I can answer this.  I don't have a religion.  Thus, I can't change what I don't have or am not.  Similar to my ex-wife suing the State of Alabama in 1979 or 80 so that she could keep her name and not assume my last name, which she never took.  The class action suit was successful and the last state in the country to require such a name change on marriage had its law overturned by the activist judges!   I'm an atheist who is never going to get married again.  I wouldn't get along with someone who was religious.  And if I were to get married, and said anything about forever, or better or worse, or ... I'd be lying, just as I would if I took her religion.  No matter how hot or how rich she was - No.  I have PRINCIPALS (sp).  Two great reasons to tell her bye-bye.


#2 - No way I look, unless I have a pen with the matching color ink she signed with.  More seriously, unless she told me to look, I wouldn't.  I would ask her when she came back why she had what appeared to be her will on the table.


Dave McCrumb - #1 – Probably. If I was dramatically opposed to their religion I wouldn’t be dating them to begin with.


#2 – I’d like to say no…but truth be told I probably would. I doubt I would care what it said, but human nature being what it is I would feel superior knowing something that others did not. But then again I am not looking to inherit anything from anybody except for a blanket my mother made 40 years ago for her father. Aside from this one case, I just don’t care.


Jack McHugh - #1 - Yes, I'm kind of wimpy agnostic so I am not very tight with my religion--I kind of did it when I got married since Carol wanted to be married in the church.


#2 - Sure why not--hell I'd probably read it out loud to her.


Don Williams - #1 - I have to say here … not enough information.  I am what is best considered now a Deist or a Unitarian with Christian leanings.  There are absolutely religions I would change to for my spouse, but there are also a few I would NOT change to.  If I had to answer without being able to hedge, than I’d say “no”, I wouldn’t give that as a blanket statement.


#2 - Yes, I’d look.  I’ve never had anything left to me by anybody and don’t think I will.  I will be leaving some things behind for my kids and wouldn’t dr3am of leaving my will around, but if I did it wouldn’t bother me if people looked at; I ought to know better.


Per Westling - #1 - As I do not have any religion (except maybe Science...) this would mean that I would have to join one. If this religion contains believing in one or more gods, not a chance. Could not live with that. In that case I prefer not to marry at all. But if it is a religion without gods, like Buddism, I could consider doing it.


#2 - I can see that I would be dearly tempted, as curiosity is a big driver, but I will try to resist it. It could be hard not letting the knowledge influence ones behavior.


Heather Taylor - #1 – It all depends on what religion they are.  If their religion was demeaning to women or would require some major lifestyle changes I would most likely not do it.


#2 – If it’s just there on the table, hell yeah.  I’m a nosy fuck!  I wouldn’t actively search for it, but if it’s just sitting there I would.


For Next Month (For the time being, I am usually selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: #1(from me) – You are an avid fan of a local sports team who has disappointed year after year.  Would you be willing to trade one championship in the next four years for another twenty years of frustration, or would you rather just leave it the way it is and hope for more competitive play in the years to come?  #2 – You are buying a car from someone who is broke and out of work.  Do you offer much less than you think the vehicle is worth, as you feel pretty sure he’d accept it out of desperation?



by Richard Walkerdine


Probably only one more in this series as I really am running out of girls (and god I hate having to admit that). So let’s start with the lovely Cate Blanchett.


An Australian actress, born in 1969, who first came to fame playing Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth I in the 1998 film ‘Elizabeth’ (for which she won several awards). She has played in dozens of films since, and won many more awards, but for me my fondest memory is her playing the Elf queen Galadriel in the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy (which is where the picture comes from – and I have it framed and sitting on the window sill in my study).


In the first film The Fellowship enter Lothlorien and meet her and the other elves. When it is time to depart she gives them gifts and Frodo, the last to leave, looks back to bid her farewell, She smiles at him and her eyes actually sparkle. A clever camera trick I am sure but a scene I will always remember. Well done Cate.


She will reprise the role in the forthcoming films of the prequel ‘The Hobbit’, due for release in December 2012 and December 2013. I can’t wait to see them.


Next this month is an actress of which many of you (except the sci-fi fans) will never have heard (but she does have big hair) – Jane Badler.








Born in Brooklyn, New York in 1953 she is an actress and a singer. She appeared in many films and TV series, won a few awards and now lives in Australia where she is a nightclub singer and has released at least two albums. But she is best known for playing the part of Diana, one of the leaders of the reptilian (although disguised as humans) invaders of Earth in the TV sci-fi series ‘V’. I remember some memorable scenes when she apparently eats live mice.


The series ran between 1983 and 1985 and about half way through the reptilians got a new leader who was called Charles. So we had Charles and Diana as the main characters. Three years before we had the royal wedding of Prince Charles and Lady Diana. A coincidence? No, I don’t think so – but very clever. Well done to the writers and director.




















100 Movies to See Before You Die

An Eternal Sunshine List Challenge


Yahoo Films (part of the Yahoo online pages) has posted two lists of movies “to see before you die.”  The first list was composed of mostly classic film choices, while the “modern” list was 100 films from 1990 onward.  You can find their lists at: and at  Some of these choices I agree with, and some I think are completely off the mark.  So I issued a challenge to each of you: Submit to me the 100 Movies to See Before You Die that would make your list.  The lists could be submitted all at once, or 10 films at a time.  Any comments on your choices (or future comments on the choices of other people) are encouraged.  After 10 issues I plan on publishing a complete list of all films included on any list, as well as a count of how many lists each appeared on. I am offering prizes: two of the respondents who submit a full complement of 100 movies (whether all at once or 10 per issue) will be selected at random for prizes.  So to win, all you have to do is play.


Next issue: The final set of 10 movies from each of you, and from me (more movies if you missed any of the previous rounds).  Please note: These films are not meant to be placed in order by you, from top to bottom, unless you want to do that for some reason.

Andy Lischett:


I'm about 50 or 60 behind but want to add Frenzy. I hadn't seen Frenzy since it came out in 1972 and it was better than I remembered, and better than a lot of Alfred Hitchcock's more famous movies.


And an Honorable Mention to Pride and Prejudice (with Laurence Olivier). I'd never seen this because trying to READ Jane Austen scared me away from WATCHING Jane Austen, but I bought it for Carol for Christmas and enjoyed it a lot.


Kevin Wilson:


I'm running short on my list but we only have 20 to go so surely I can find the 10 or so more I need to get to 100.  On the other hand, my list of movies to check out via Netflix is growing as I take others' ideas of what to see that I haven't seen or haven't seen in a very long time.  That list is now up to at least 30 movies.


For this time


1.  The Sting - a good con story and fun to watch.


2.  Gone With the Wind - a classic.


3.  The Caine Mutiny - it's been on my list since the beginning but was also on one of the movie channels a couple of weeks ago.  I watched it again and really enjoyed it.


4.  The Ten Commandments - a spectacle in its day and a good story regardless of one's religious leanings still today.


5.  Winter's Bone - I stumbled across this one recently and it really disturbed me. 


6.  Wall Street - still one I find entertaining despite the 80s being long behind us.


7.  Tora, Tora, Tora - good WWII flick.


8.  Goodfellas - a great wise guy movie.


9.  Spider-Man - of all the recent hero movies, I liked this one perhaps the most.


10.  Inherit the Wind - this one wasn't on my original list I made for this list but I pulled it from everyone else's recommendations and recently got if from Netflix and enjoyed it very much.  I can see why it should be in a top 100 list and is now in mine.


Paraic Reddington:


The Maltese Falcon (1941)

The Matrix

The Searchers

The Shawshank Redemption

The Shining

The Silence of the Lambs

The Sixth Sense

The Sting

The Third Man

The Usual Suspects


Larry Cronin:


Edvard Munch

The Chosen

Saturday Night Fever


Philadelphia Story

The Wizard of Oz

Jurassic Park

Mary Poppins

American Graffitti



Rick Desper:


This month is a mix of action films, westerns, and war films (stretching the definition a bit).


1. Raiders of the Lost Ark.  This has got to be on the list.  I think it's funny that it was originally done as an over-the-top quasi-parody of 30s adventure stories, but it eventually became the groundbreaker for a new generation of over-the-top action adventure films.  It was originally intended to be have an unreal feel to it, but it has ended up being the blueprint for a slew of action films.


2. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.  I was thinking of doing a category of westerns only, but then I looked at it and saw that it was mostly Clint Eastwood films.  A lot of his films are among my favorites, but if I want to cut things down a bit, this is the one that qualifies as the ultimate spaghetti western.


3.  The Road Warrior.  The best post-apocalyptic film that I can think of.   This film takes the world of Mad Max and advances it a bit further away from contemporary society.  Exciting, lawless world with fast cars.


4.  The Outlaw Josey Wales.  I couldn't keep it down to only one Eastwood western.  This one gets ahead of Unforgiven by just a little bit.  It's a bit broader in conception.  The most memorable scene is when Josey Wales is out shopping and is confronted by a bounty hunter.  He gives the man an opportunity to walk away, and the man briefly takes it.  But he comes back because some things are worse than being gunned down by Josey Wales.


5.  Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.  A film that stands alone.  I cannot think of another film that so aptly presents the madness of our nuclear arsenal.  Peter Sellers is brilliant in three roles, and Sterling Hayden leads an excellent supporting cast with the iconic image of Slim Pickens riding the bomb finishing things off.  I'm not done with Kubrick yet. 


6. High Noon.  Nominally a Western but this film can also be viewed as a condemnation of 1950s America and the culture of the Red Scare.  Writer Carl Foreman was called to testify in front of HUAC during the writing of the film, and was later a victim of the notorious black list.  Gary Cooper is brilliant as the sheriff who is abandoned by his town when the bad guys come to visit.


7. Touch of Evil.  A guilty pleasure.  Charlton Heston is a Mexican cop intruding on the turf of Captain Quinlan, played by Orson Welles (who also wrote and directed the film).  A fascinating story addressing issues of justice, police corruption, and the difference between following the law and getting the right guy.  Lots of big stars in small roles, most notably Marlene Dietrich. 


8. Full Metal Jacket.  Hey, it's Kubrick again!  Full Metal Jacket is really two separate stories with one shared character, Private Joker.  We start with a story of a Marine boot camp where Joker and his fellow future jarheads are under the excellent tutelage of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman.  Private Pyle starts out as a miserable failure, but ends up having a flair for riflery.  The second half of the story is set in Vietnam and concerns a squad on patrol.  Most of the second half concerns a conflict with a sniper who systematically takes out the command structure of the squad.    I find the first story to be far more compelling.  The interactions between R. Lee Emery's Hartman and Vincent D'Onofrio's Pyle, mediated by Matthew Modine's Joker, are epic.  Often compared to other Vietnam War films like Platoon and Apocalypse Now, I find this one to be the most compelling.  At least the first part.


9.  Spartacus.  Yep, more Kubrick.  He's lapping the field.  I'm thinking of including Eyes Wide Shut, though it would not ordinarily make a list like this.  But certainly other Kubrick films like Paths of Glory and A Clockwork Orange would not be out of place.  Even Barry Lyndon has its ardent champions.  Anyway...Spartacus is the ultimate swords-and-sandals film (with apologies to Ben Hur).  Kirk Douglas is Spartacus, slave, gladiator, rebel leader.  Just watch it.  Worth watching for the supporting cast, especially Charles Laughton, Peter Ustinov, and the mighty Laurence Olivier.


10. Get Carter.  The Michael Caine original.  Caine is Carter, a Northener working in London as a thug.  He's called back to Newcastle when his brother dies under mysterious circumstances.  Carter is determined to get to the bottom of it.  Sounds like a cliche, but it really isn't.  Great story, great cast, Caine is brilliant, and a great soundtrack. 


Douglas Kent:


Ghost World

The Dead Zone

Reservoir Dogs

Back to the Future

A Hard Day’s Night

Midnight Express

Star Wars

Death on the Nile

Murder on the Orient Express

The Illusionist


Dave McCrumb:


20,000 Leagues Under the Sea                        



Back to the Future                               

BAT 21                        

Bernard and the Genie                        

Breaker Morant                        

Bringing Up Baby                                 

Clockwork Orange                               

Das Boot                                 

Dead Again                             

Demolition Man                       

From Here to Eternity                          


Harold and Maude                               


Independence Day                              


Journey to the Center of the Earth                   

Jurassic Park                           

Lord of the Rings                                 

Much Ado About Nothing (Branaugh)               

O Brother, Where Art Thou?                             

One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest                                 

Planet of the Apes (Heston)                             

Raiders of the Lost Ark                         

Rear Window                           

Run Silent, Run Deep                           

Saving Private Ryan                             

Seven Samaria                        

Silence of the Lambs                            

Smokey and the Bandit                       

The African Queen                               

The Bishop's Wife                                

The Dirty Dozen                                  

The Lion In Winter                               

The Man Who Came to Dinner                         

The Philadelphia Story                         

The Producers                         

The Sound of Music                             

The Taking of Pelham 123 (Matthau)               

The Women                             

Time After Time                                   

Toy Story                                 

Trading Places                         

True Lies                                 

War of the Worlds (1953)                                

White Christmas                                  

Brad Wilson:


1.    The Friends of Eddie Coyle -- grim, nasty, windswept, cold, cold-hearted ... beautiful.

2.    Charley Varrick -- extraordinarily under-rated caper movie. Walter Matthau in his prime.

3.    The Man Who Would Be King -- Caine, Connery and awesome scenery.

4.    The Big Sleep (1946 version)  -- Incomprehensible plot but too many great lines to leave out and Bogart/Bacall at their best

5.    Bad Day at Black Rock -- one of 5 movies of this 10 with the incomparable Lee Marvin (LM)

6.    Point Blank -- LM

7.    The Killers -- LM and Ronald Reagan (!) as a villain, his only bad guy (and he's good at it)

8.    The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance -- LM

9.    Seven Men From Now -- LM

10.  Blazing Saddles --watch for Count Basie!




Jim Burgess:


Sex, Lies, and Videotape

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover

Throne of Blood

Desperately Seeking Susan

When Harry Met Sally

Little Children

Wings of the Dove

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Remains of the Day

The Incredibles






23 Tunes!


23 Tunes - Round Eleven (Final Tunes)


First, two late songs from Rick Desper: Roxanne by The Police and A Day in the Life by The Beatles.  Also, I neglected to give Richard Weiss his 4 points from last round.


Submitting songs this issue are: Heather Taylor, Martin Burgdorf, Hank Alme, Andy Lischett, Andy York, David McCrumb, Douglas Kent, Richard Weiss, Richard Walkerdine, Jim Burgess, Mark Firth. 


1.    #1 Crush – Garbage – Heather Taylor.  Correct: PR, MF.

2.    A Whiter Shade of Pale - Procol Harum – Hank Alme.  Correct: MB.

3.    Animal Boy - Matt the Electrician – Richard Weiss.

4.    Beauty Case - Stereo Total – Martin Burgdorf.

5.    Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses – Jim Burgess.

6.    Closer - Nine Inch Nails – Heather Taylor.

7.    Coal Miner's Daughter - Loretta Lynn – David McCrumb.  Correct: AL.

8.    Coin-Operated Boy - Dresden Dolls – Andy York.

9.    Coward of the County - Kenny Rogers – Richard Walkerdine.  Correct: PR.

10.  Dust My Broom - Elmore James – Richard Weiss.  Correct: MF.

11.  Greensleeves – Traditional – David McCrumb.

12.  Helter Skelter - Siouxsie and the Banshees – Martin Burgdorf.

13.  House of the Rising Sun - John Otway – Mark Firth.  Correct: RW.

14.  Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley – Andy Lischett.  Correct: GK, MF.

15.  Karmacoma - Massive Attack – Mark Firth.  Correct: RW, GK.

16.  Lost Christmas Eve - Trans-Siberian Railroad – Andy York. Correct: PR.

17.  Mack the Knife - Bobby Darin – Andy Lischett.

18.  Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters - Elton John – Douglas Kent.  Correct: AL, PR, RWe.

19.  Once in a Royal David's City - King's College Cambridge Choir – Jim Burgess.  Correct – Rwe.

20.  Quick Joey Small (Run Joey Run) – Kasenetz Katz Singing Orchestral Circus  - Richard Walkerdine.  Correct: PR, MF.

21.  Someone Saved My Life Tonight - Elton John – Douglas Kent.  Correct: MB.

22.  The Story - Brandi Carlisle – Hank Alme.


Scores This Round – Paraic Reddington [PR] – 4; Mark Firth [MF] – 4; Martin Burgdorf [MB] – 2; Andy Lischett [AL] – 2; Richard Walkerdine [RW] – 2; Richard Weiss [RWe] – 2; Geoff Kemp [GK] - 2.


Total Scores (of those who submitted at least some guesses in any round): Andy Lischett [AL] – 44; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 34; Martin Burgdorf [MB] – 33; Geoff Kemp [GK] – 26; Richard Walkerdine [RW] – 24; Jim Burgess [JB] – 20; Mark Firth [MF] – 13; Phil Murphy [PM] – 10; Richard Weiss [RWe] – 8; Brendan Whyte [BW] – 7; Melinda Holley [MH] – 6; Hank Alme [HA] – 6; Kevin Tighe [KT] – 6; Chris Babcock [CB] – 5; Marc Ellinger [ME] – 4; Amber Smith [AS] – 1. 


Andy Lischett is the Winner!  I’ll be in touch about prizes via email.


Quick notes: while many people mentioned they were making attempts not to list songs others had listed, we still had a few songs mentioned twice (although version and/or artist were different occasionally).  Those were:


All Along the Watchtower

Bohemian Rhapsody

Fat Bottomed Girls

House of the Rising Sun

Jailhouse Rock

Mad World

White Rabbit


Curious that two of the small group of repeated songs were by Queen.  Not sure it means anything, but worth mentioning.  And now, he full lists from anyone who submitted songs at any point, whether or not they made it to 23…apologies if any or my numerous typos still remain.  Oh, and these are not necessarily in the order submitted.


Amber Smith:


1.    Rolling in the Deep - Adele

2.    Tremble - Lou Rhodes

3.    Post Break-up Sex - The Vaccines

4.    Gold Fever - Clint Eastwood

5.    Familiar Taste of Poison - Halestorm

6.    Does Your Mother Know - ABBA

7.    Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

8.    Can't Get it Out of My Head - ELO

9.    Bad Day - REM

10.  Just Smile - Clara Lofaro

11.  Bang Bang Bang - The Virginmarys

12.  S&M - Rihanna

13.  I'm Not Strong Enough - Apocalyptia

14.  Where Butterflies Never Die - Broken Iris

15.  Caught Up in You - 38 Special

16.  Dance With the Devil - Braking Benjamin

17.  Surprise, Surprise - Brett Dennen

18.  Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

19.  I Cut Myself Too – Gob


Andy Lischett:


1.    White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane

2.    Blues in the Night - Woody Herman

3.    I Know What Boys Like - The Waitresses

4.    Jug Band Music - The Lovin' Spoonful

5.    Lola - The Kinks

6.    Good Vibrations - The Beach Boys

7.    Tooty Fruity - Little Richard

8.    When The Levee Breaks - Led Zepplin

9.    Crockett's Theme - Jan Hammer

10.  Baby It's You - Smith

11.  Mack the Knife - Bobby Darin

12.  Addicted to Love - Robert Palmer

13.  Stormy Weather - Ella Fitzgerald

14.  Cruel Summer - Bananarama

15.  The Cocoanut Song - Harry Nillson

16.  Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones

17.  California Girls - David Lee Roth

18.  The Motorcycle Song - Arlo Guthrie

19.  Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven

20.  Pink Panther Theme - Mancini

21.  Love Me Do - The Beatles

22.  Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley

23.  Silent Night – Traditional


Andy York:


1.    Incredible Machine - Sugarland

2.    Objects in the Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are - Meat Loaf

3.    Rust - Telekenesis

4.    Born This Way - Lady Gaga

5.    Backwoods Barbie - Dolly Parton

6.    Those Who Wait for the Lord - Pat Quinn

7.    When Johnny Comes Marching Home - Traditional

8.    The Star Spangled Banner - Traditional

9.    Jolene - Dolly Parton

10.  Shake it Out - Florence and the Machine

11.  Lost Christmas Eve - Trans-Siberian Railroad

12.  Astronaut: A Short History of Nearly Nothing - Amanda Palmer

13.  Dust in the Wind - Kansas

14.  Dance Tonight - Paul McCartney

15.  Take Me Out to the Ballgame - Traditional

16.  Jesus He Knows Me - Genesis

17.  Tearin' it Down - Hansen

18.  Battle Hymn of the Republic - Traditional

19.  God Bless America - Traditional

20.  Coat of Many Colors - Dolly Parton

21.  Jump With Me - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

22.  Coin-Operated Boy - Dresden Dolls

23.  If I Were a Boy – Reba


Brendan Whyte:


1.    Baguee - Paris Combo

2.    Girl From East of the River - Wet Wet Wet

3.    Hot Potato, Hot Potato - The Wiggles

4.    You're Not the Boss of Me - They Might Be Giants

5.    Theme from Shaft - Issac Hayes

6.    Crocodile Roll - John Williamson

7.    Funky Gibbon - The Goodies


Chris Babcock:


1.    This Love - Maroon 5

2.    Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger

3.    Paranoid Androis - Radiohead

4.    Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen

5.    Beautiful Freak - Eels


Dave McCrumb:


1.    Punk Sandwich - Dixie Dregs

2.    Will the Circle Be Unbroken - Johnny and June Carter Cash

3.    Baby, Now That I’ve Found You - Alison Krauss

4.    Amanda - Waylon Jennings

5.    Little Sparrow - Dolly Parton

6.    Greensleeves - Traditional

7.    Midnight in Montgomery - Alan Jackson

8.    The Lord'll Provide - Mike Cross

9.    Goodbye Earl - Dixie Chicks

10.  Same Day Soon - Ian and Sylvia

11.  Take it Easy - The Eagles

12.  When You Say Nothing at All - Alison Krauss

13.  Martian Boogie - Brownsville Station

14.  Take Me Home Country Roads - John Denver

15.  The Bounty Hunter - Mike Cross

16.  I Saw the Light - Roy Acuff and the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

17.  New World Symphony (No. 9 in E Minor) - Antonin Dvorak

18.  Coal Miner's Daughter - Loretta Lynn

19.  Good Old Boys Like Me - Don Williams

20.  The Elements - Tom Lehrer

21.  The Grass is Blue - Dolly Parton

22.  Let Us Cross Over the River - Stonewall Country cast

23.  Born to Be Wild - Steppenwolf


Douglas Kent:


1.    Vienna - Billy Joel

2.    Rangers - A Fine Frenzy

3.    Something About You - Level 42

4.    Hide in Your Shell - Supertramp

5.    Handbags and Gladrags - Rod Stewart

6.    Fooled Around and Fell in Love - Elvin Bishop

7.    Jet Airliner - Steve Miller Band

8.    Misunderstanding - Genesis

9.    Skating Away - Jethro Tull

10.  I Ain't Living Long Like This - Emmylou Harris

11.  Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters - Elton John

12.  Can't You Hear Me Knocking - The Rolling Stones

13.  The Only Living Boy in New York - Simon and Garfunkel

14.  Spark - Tori Amos

15.  Veronica - Elvis Costello

16.  Come and Get Your Love - Redbone

17.  The Seeker - The Who

18.  Let Your Love Flow - The Bellamy Brothers

19.  Black Coffee in Bed - Squeeze

20.  Southern Cross - Crosby, Stills, and Nash

21.  Tupelo Honey - Van Morrison

22.  Rough Boys - Pete Townsend

23.  Someone Saved My Life Tonight - Elton John


Geoff Kemp:


1.    Go Now - Bessie Banks

2.    I Will Return - Springwater

3.    Stay - Shakespeare's Sister

4.    I am the Walrus - The Beatles

5.    California Dreaming - The Mamas and the Papas

6.    Where Have All the Cowboys Gone - Paula Cole

7.    Night of the Vampire - Moontrekkers

8.    Abracadabra - Steve Miller Band

9.    There are 9 Million Bicycles in Bejing - Katie Mehlua

10.  For My Lady - The Moody Blues

11.  I Know What I Like in Your Wardrobe - Genesis

12.  Wild Thing - Goodies

13.  Frankenstein - Edgar Winter Group

14.  Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush

15.  Sleepwalk - Santo and Johnnie

16.  Fireflies - Owl City

17.  Saturday Night at the Duckpond - Cougars

18.  She's Not There - Santana

19.  Street Life - Crusaders

20.  White Flag - Dido

21.  When I'm Dead and Gone - McGuinness Flint


Hank Alme:


1.    It's My Life - Talk Talk

2.    Calling You - Blue October

3.    Black Sheep - Metric

4.    Island in the Sun - Weezer

5.    Away - The Bolshoi

6.    More Than This - Roxy Music

7.    Fortunate Fool - Jack Johnson

8.    I Ain't Drunk - Albert Collins

9.    It's a Sin - Pet Shop Boys

10.  You Better you Bet - The Who

11.  A Whiter Shade of Pale - Procol Harum

12.  Edie (Ciao Baby) - The Cult

13.  Ball and Biscuit - The White Stripes

14.  Somebody Told Me - The Killers

15.  Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House

16.  All the Small Things - Blink 182

17.  White Room - Cream

18.  Cold Shot - Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble

19.  The Hardest Button to Button - The White Stripes

20.  La Grange - ZZ Top

21.  High - James Blundt

22.  The Story - Brandi Carlile

23.  Hate Me - Blue October


Heather Taylor:


1.    Breathe - Anna Nalick

2.    Civilized Man - James Marsters

3.    Your Song - Elton John

4.    Scarborough Fair - Traditional

5.    I Like You Better - Raina Rose

6.    Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds - The Beatles

7.    Into the Mystic - Van Morrison

8.    Lovesong - The Cure

9.    Fat Bottom Girls - Queen

10.  People Are Strange - The Doors

11.  Bubbly - Colby Caillat

12.  #1 Crush - Garbage

13.  Voice So Sweet - Sara Rue

14.  Love Bites - Def Leppard

15.  A Case of You - Nancy Wilson

16.  Paint it Black - Vanessa Carlton

17.  Crucify - Tori Amos

18.  Tiny Dancer - Elton John

19.  Sunny Came Home - Shawn Colvin

20.  Sweet Home Alabama - Lynard Skynard

21.  Crystal Ship - The Doors

22.  Don't Stop Believing - Journey

23.  Closer - Nine Inch Nails


Jack McHugh:


1.    Sweet Dreams Are Made of This - Eurythmics

2.    Girls on Film - Duran Duran

3.    Who Can it Be Now - Men at Work

4.    Trans Europa Express - Kraftwerk

5.    Rising of the Moon - High Kings

6.    Life During Wartime - Talking Heads

7.    London Calling - The Clash

8.    You've Got It - Roy Orbison

9.    She's Gone - Hall and Oates

10.  Enola Gay - OMD

11.  It Was a Very Good Year - Frank Sinatra


Jim Burgess:


1.    Low Down and Dirty - Crooked Still

2.    Heartbreaker - Intergalactic Touring Band

3.    Take the High Road - Silly Wizard

4.    Sacred Head Sore - Johann Sebastian Bach

5.    And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda - The Pogues

6.    We Got the Beat - The Go-Go's

7.    Who's Landing in My Hangar - Human Switchboard

8.    Wake Up It's a Beautiful Morning- The Boo Radleys

9.    Starship Jingle - The Intergalactic Touring Band

10.  It's All Over - Nektar

11.  The Knife - Genesis

12.  Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses

13.  Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division

14.  I Hear Your Car - Mark Cutler

15.  Hallelujah Chorus - Handel

16.  Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2

17.  I Will Follow - U2

18.  Sweet Blue Cage - Richard Barone

19.  Power in the Darkness - The Tom Robinson Band

20.  Phobos and Deimos Go to Mars- Synergy

21.  Shock the Monkey - Peter Gabriel

22.  Wise After the Event - Anthony Phillips

23.  Once in a Royal David's City - King's College Cambridge Choir


Kevin Tighe:


1.    I Scare Myself - Dan Hicks

2.    Ballad of a Ballgame - Christine Lavin

3.    Sing Sing Sing - Benny Goodman (Live at Carnegie Hall)

4.    Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2 (with the Harlem Boys Choir)

5.    Didi - Khaled

6.    Long Way Home - Tom Waits

7.    Rambling Rover - Silly Wizard

8.    Love at the Five and Dime - Nancy Griffith

9.    Stompin' at the Savoy - Ella Fitzgerald and Louie Armstrong

10.  Amazing Grace - Blind Boys of Alabama

11.  Angel from Montgomery - Bonnie Raitt with John Prine


Marc Ellinger:


1.    We Used to Wait - Arcade Fire

2.    The High Road - Broken Bells

3.    Shake Me Down - Cage the Elephant

4.    All Along the Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix

5.    Golden Slumbers - The Beatles


Mark Firth:


1.    Five Nights of Bleedin - LKJ

2.    The Uninvited Guest - Marillion

3.    Up the Pool - Jethro Tull

4.    Unforgiving Skies - PO90

5.    Good Times, Bad Times - Led Zeppelin

6.    Beating of Hearts - XTC

7.    Karmacoma - Massive Attack

8.    Behold - Culture

9.    I Can See For Miles - The Who

10.  Hide and Seek - Howard Jones

11.  Hammond Song - Colourfield

12.  Legend of a Mind - Moody Blues

13.  Government Walls - James

14.  House of the Rising Sun - John Otway

15.  Gun Shot a Cry - Eek-A-Mouse


Martin Burgdorf:


1.    Embrasse-Moi - Lio

2.    You Do Something to Me - Bryan Ferry

3.    Looks Looks Looks - Sparks

4.    Space Oddity - David Bowie

5.    ESP - The Buzzcocks

6.    We Live as We Dream, Alone - Gang of Four

7.    Space Junk - Devo

8.    Hiroshima mon Amour - John Foxx

9.    M - The Cure

10.  Atmosphere - Joy Division

11.  Left My Heart in San Francisco - Chrome

12.  Helter Skelter - Siouxsie and the Banshees

13.  Nite and Day - Tuxedomoon

14.  Jealous Guy - Roxy Music

15.  Glam Racket - The Fall

16.  Goodbye Toulouse - The Stranglers

17.  Heart if Darkness - Pere Ubu

18.  Taking Tiger Mountain - Eno

19.  James Brown - Cabaret Voltaire

20.  Sometimes Always - The Jesus and Mary Chain

21.  Science Friction - XTC

22.  Teddy Bear - The Residents

23.  Beauty Case - Stereo Total


Melinda Holley:


1.    Twelfth of Never - Johnny Mathis

2.    Dirty Deeds - AC/DC

3.    I Ended Up With You - Robert Cray

4.    Ancient Voices - Russ Landau

5.    Living on a Prayer (Acoustic Version) - Bon Jovi

6.    What Child is This - Jay Pierce

7.    Time to Play the Game - Motorhead

8.    Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac

9.    If I Had a Rocket Launcher - Bruce Cockburn

10.  Sweetest Taboo - Sade

11.  Simple Man - Johnny Van Zandt


Paraic Reddington:


1.    Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

2.    The Irish Rover - The Dubliners

3.    The Rocky Road to Dublin - Dubliners

4.    Nothing Compares 2 U - Sinead O'Conner

5.    You've Got a Friend in Me - Randy Newman

6.    Il Pagliaci - Ruggero Leoncavallo

7.    Walking on Sunshine - Katrina and the Waves

8.    99 Luftballoons - Nena

9.    Lovely Day - Bill Withers

10.  House of the Rising Sun - The Animals

11.  Great Southern Land - Ice House

12.  Still Alive - Jonathan Coulton

13.  Always Look on the Bright Side of Life - Monty Python

14.  Strange Things - Randy Newman

15.  Intermezzo / Cavalleria Rusticana - Pietro Mascagni

16.  Ain't No Sunshine - Bill Withers

17.  1999 - Prince

18.  Beautiful Day - U2

19.  Where the Streets Have No Name - U2


Pat Vogelsang:


1.    Fantasy - Earth, Wind and Fire

2.    Cherry, Cherry - Neil Diamond

3.    Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks




Phil Murphy:


1.    Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

2.    The Chain - Fleetwood Mac

3.    Teenage Kicks - The Undertones

4.    Have a Nice Day - Stereophonics

5.    I Put a Spell on You - Nina Simone

6.    Rehab - Amy Winehouse

7.    Whiskey in the Jar - Thin Lizzy

8.    All Along the Watchtower (Alternate Take) - Jimi Hendrix

9.    Life on Mars - David Bowie

10.  Ouverture Solenelle (1812 Overture) - Tchaikovsky

11.  Stuck in the Middle With You - Stealers Wheel

12.  Mercy - Duffy

13.  Poison - Alice Cooper


Richard Walkerdine:


1.    Mr. Tambourine Man - Bob Dylan

2.    Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley

3.    I Got You Babe - Sonny and Cher

4.    Stayin' Alive - The Bee Gees

5.    Shout - Lulu

6.    I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

7.    We Didn't Start The Fire - Billy Joel

8.    Death of a Clown - Dave Davies

9.    I Only Want to Be With You - Dusty Springfield

10.  Don’t Push me – Hedgehoppers Anonymous

11.  Coward of the County - Kenny Rogers

12.  Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

13.  Downtown - Petula Clark

14.  Waterloo - ABBA

15.  This Land is Your Land - Woody Guthrie

16.  Honey - Bobby Goldsboro

17.  Back Home - England World Cup Squad 1970

18.  Hey Joe - Jimi Hendrix

19.  Have You Ever Seen The Rain - Creedence Clearwater Revival

20.  Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

21.  All Over the World - Francoise Hardy

22.  Folsom Prison Blues – Johnny Cash

23.  Quick Joey Small (Run Joey Run) – Kasenetz Katz Singing Orchestral Circus


Richard Weiss:


1.    White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane

2.    Dust My Broom - Elmore James

3.    Touch of Grey - The Grateful Dead

4.    Animal Boy - Matt the Electrician


Rick Desper:


1.    I Want Candy - Bow Wow Wow

2.    Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple

3.    Love Shack - B-52's

4.    Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me - The Cure

5.    Carmina Burana - Orff

6.    Mad World - Gary Jules

7.    Baby it's Cold Outside - Ray Charles and Betty Carter

8.    Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd

9.    Thick as a Brick - Jethro Tull

10.  Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? - Moby

11.  A Day in the Life - The Beatles

12.  Mad World - Michael Andrews/Gary Jules

13.  Penny Lane - The Beatles

14.  Black Dog - Led Zepplin

15.  Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel

16.  Little Red Corvette - Prince

17.  American Pie - Don McLean

18.  What's the Matter Here? - 10,000 Maniacs

19.  You Can Leave Your Hat On - Joe Cocker

20.  Walk on the Wild Side - Lou Reed

21.  Babooshka - Kate Bush

22.  Praise You - Fatboy Slim

23.  Roxanne - The Police




You Don't Know Me

The Eternal Sunshine Interview


This month’s interview is with yet ANOTHER woman I knew in High School who tried to avid my like the plague (thereby proving her intelligence)….


What is your name: Lorrie Anne Schilling

What is your astrological sign: Aquarius

How old are you (exact or approximate): 42 (for another 26 days :p)

What is your earliest childhood memory: Playing at our summer home at the Jersey shore with my siblings

Describe your immediate family (present day): Myself, my mother, my boyfriend Luis, my fur babies, Luna, Lola, Teddy and Sassy cat. (my closest, dearest family members presently)

What do you do for a living: I am disabled due to a spinal cord injury but assist with graphic designs, web design and maintenance of my mother's t-shirt business, Glamour Rocks! I am also a decorative artist having sold pieces privately and through consignment type stores. Mostly Livin La Vida Loca here in fun and sun South Floriduh!

Where were you born: Short Hills, NJ (Overlook Hospital in Summit)

What did you want to be when you were growing up: A Fashion Designer


Douglas Kent - Are you self-taught or did you go to school for graphic or fashion design?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - Growing up I was influenced by my parents and siblings creativity. My father designed and built homes. My mother often did arts and crafts projects with us as children. My older siblings are wonderfully artistic minded, natural designer, fashionistas and decorators, with impeccable taste and perfectionist personalities.


Art classes in school were of course my favorite. I was in honors art in MHS, attended SVA in NYC summer of my Jr HS year, and then later received my Associates in Advertising Design at NCC (North Hampton Community College) in Bethlehem, PA.


Douglas Kent - Are schools like that as competitive as they’re made out to be?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - I believe so, since to artists, it's not just about what they do, it's who they are.


Douglas Kent  - If you’re willing, could you describe the circumstances involving your spinal injury?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - In 1986, my senior year of HS, while with friends at a shore house party, I dove off a dock in to the bay hitting my head as the depth was not deep enough for the angle I dove. My judgment was impaired due to drinking and overall carelessness. I should have known better as I was a trained lifeguard and we were taught feet first in foreign waters. I dislocated c5/6 vertebrae, tearing my spinal cord. I'm ultra-paranoid when I see people dive in any body of water. When children ask why I use a wheelchair, I try to explain how important it is not to dive. Growing up with a summer home at the shore, on a lagoon with a sliding board and diving board, I never imagined being seriously injured in such a manner and the permanence of such an injury.


Douglas Kent  - As that injury was many years ago (damn we are getting old), what types of long-term physical difficulties do you have to keep an eye out for these days?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - With technology advancements and a better understanding of paralysis/Spinal Cord Injuries  there are very good preventatives of health issues that were more prevalent in the past, most importantly custom wheelchairs, custom backrests and seat cushions. These advances allow wheelchair users to be more independent, less wear and tear on joints, avoid skin breakdown and keep posture better. Especially thanks to the ADA ( people who use wheelchairs are able to get out and live life fully.


Douglas Kent  - You attended Millburn High School, generally regarded as one of the best, and stressful, schools in that part of the country.  How would you describe the experience of MHS?  Do you think the pressure there was much greater than elsewhere, or it just felt that way because of the fact that it was what was all around?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - I didn't realize it growing up but now I understand how privileged we were to have been raised there and having the education we did. I did not feel the stress because after grade school I was not terribly studious. My main focus was my social life. In spite of my lack of interest in academic studies, the teachings, influences and efforts of my teachers were not in vain. Had I been raised anywhere else I may have ended up completely illiterate :)


Douglas Kent  - When did you relocate to Florida?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - I moved to Florida in 1987 after my rehabilitation at Kessler. My mother discovered The Miami Project to Cure Paralysis, and wanted me to be a part of their therapeutic studies. I fell in love with Florida living.


Douglas Kent  - What type of ambitions do you have for the future?  What dreams do you still hope to accomplish?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - Last year I survived breast cancer, bi-lateral mastectomies, chemo, reconstructive surgeries...but through it all, my ambitions barely wavered, I strive to indulge myself in all life's delights when I can while I can. To appreciate those I love and every simple pleasure life has to offer, and to have a gallery showing with my works.


Douglas Kent  - How much time per week are you able to devote to your individual artistic endeavors?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - As of late, not enough. I have one painting nearly done and another compilation work my friend and I recently started. We have sworn to finish it this year. :D


Douglas Kent  - How important is it to have the support of family when you are drawn towards a creative career (no pun intended)?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - It is ideal to have support when developing a talent and following a dream. We often look to our loved ones or those we admire for approval and encouragement. However, it is not absolutely necessary. In the end we make our own choices and must forge forward in spite of others ideologies projected on to us.


Douglas Kent  - Do you think there is still a true artistic appreciation in today’s United States?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - It seems art appreciation is becoming a luxury for the elite. With the poor education here in the US, so much funds being cut in many public schools, the arts are not given the focus they so importantly should. 


Douglas Kent  - Do you have any particular favorite artists of the past or present?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - My favorite artist is Botticelli. I fell in love with his work when I visited Italy as an exchange student. His work impressed me at a time when I didn't quite fully appreciate art. Sitting in front of "Primavera", I felt I could study it endlessly.


I am drawn to artists, even if I don't love their art, I admire their passion and vibe. 


Douglas Kent  - How about five each of your all-time favorite books, movies, and CD’s/albums?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - Book:


"Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights"

"Sophie's Choice"

"It" by Stephen King

"Gerald's Game"

Any pop up books! My own I made :)  Plus the unpublished children’s book I wrote.




"Wuthering Heights" 1992 version w/ Ralph Fienes & Juliette Binoche

"The Piano"


"Vanilla Sky"

"Wedding Crashers" (always makes me laugh)




Supertramp "Breakfast in America"

Harry Nilsson "Nilsson Schmilsson"

ELO "Out of the Blue"

Coldplay "x&y"

The Killers "Hot Fuss"

MGMT "Oracular Spectacular"

Damien Rice "O"

Ray Lamontagne "Til The Sun Turns Black"

Citizen Cope ........too many!


Douglas Kent  - What is one song from your childhood or teenage years you have never been able to get unstuck from inside your brain?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"(because my mother told us to no longer call her by mom or mommy...we must call her "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious",,,she thought it would trip us up but didn't one bit :)

"Girl From Ipanema" (another song my mom listened to) or any Johnny Mathis song :D

"Deep Purple" First notes I learned on guitar"

"Que Sera sera",,,loved Doris Day as a kid

Alice Cooper "School's Out"


Douglas Kent  - Have you stayed in close touch with any classmates?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - I did for years but as time has gone by and people are consumed by their careers, children and families, we keep in touch sporadically. When we do get together after so much time has passed, amazingly, we are like we once were before time and distance.


Douglas Kent  - What one thing about you would surprise casual acquaintances the most?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - How open and down to earth I am.


Douglas Kent  - Tell me a secret about yourself.  If you require it, I will tell you one in return.


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - If I tell it won't be a secret ;)


Douglas Kent  - Is there any truth to the rumor that the only reason you REALLY relocated to Florida was to avoid ever having to date me?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - Hahaha yes, that is my secret! I was hoping you did not hear that secret confession!


Douglas Kent  - Hmmm.....what is the most romantic movie you’ve ever watched?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - "Jeux de'Enfants" aka "Love Me if You Dare"


Douglas Kent  - What song almost always makes you cry, and why?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - Johnny Cash "Hurt",,,the saddest song ever, especially knowing his life story, love lost,,,,,It taps in to our fears of future and realities of no matter what we achieve, the end we only have ourselves and our memories (if we are lucky ¿),,,so much loss, if we survive so long. The double edged sword.


Douglas Kent  - Any additional comments for readers of Eternal Sunshine?


Lorrie Anne Schilling  - To all my fans, I love you all *mwah mwah* *air kisses*...haha j/k...ummm "Party like it’s 1999!" ;)


I’ve got one or two more interviews I’m lining up, so I hope we’ll see this section become a bit more frequent!  Got anybody you know who might be a fun interview subject?  Email me!



The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews


Too much work this month, but we almost went to see either A Dangerous Method, Shame, or Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the last weekend of the month.  But we didn’t have enough drive to push us out the door.  Maybe next week.  We decided on just dinner instead.  Oh well.  And, as usual, a few films were added to our Netflix list.


Seen on DVD – I Spit on Your Grave (C-, the remake of the original, with a plot that is more believable but just as disturbing).  Tamara (C-, just a silly goofy “back from the grave for revenge” flick.  Would have earned a higher rating with a better ending.)  Everything Must Go (C-, I was foolishly hoping for something nearly as good as Stranger Than Fiction.  Instead I found a plodding, unfocused mess).  American Graffiti (B+, holds up well, but like all “coming of age” films in the end I just feel depressed about myself).



Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column


Rick Desper: Film contest: calling BS on your category.  You used a picture from First Blood, which I _identified correctly_.  But you're pretending that it was from First Blood part II so it fits 'Oscars in 1986' category.  Now, I had correctly identified this picture as being from a film that was not released in the same year as many of the other films (Witness, Brazil, Out of Africa, etc.)  So your category does not fit all of the films.  My category _does_.  And indeed, I'm hard-pressed to think of any category other than "Films of the 80s" that matches this particular set of films.  Why would I guess "Oscars in 1986" when one of the films was from several years earlier?


I'm also calling BS on giving points for guessing "First Blood II" or worse, "Rambo" for the picture in question.  Stallone put on a _lot_ of muscle between First Blood and First Blood II, which is why it was so easy for me to identify the film correctly.  And "Rambo" is a film released in 2008 which is a horribly wrong guess. 


[[The line of people who call BS on me forms to the left…]]


Andy York: It's great to see Jim-Bob showing up with his own subzine! He's been sorely missed.....


Sorry to hear about the issues you are having - hopefully the therapist can get you back on track!


The intro for the Mara book sounds good - of course, it'll probably need a bit of revision once the book is written (I've always seen the intro written after the book; but, as usual, you strike out on your own path and are successful with it!).


[[I’ve signed up for a class with Gotham to help get some external critique of my work, and to improve my writing skills.  So I haven’t done much writing lately, as I wait for that to start.  But I think the class will be a positive experience.]]


Paul Milewski: As far as the "New Testament" goes, most names have been translated more than once, from Aramaic into Greek into Latin into English or something along those lines, and working backward is sort of like putting a cut of beef back together after it's been through the meat grinder a couple of times.  Nonetheless, your writing about Mara's name triggered my memory, and I found this on the web:


The English name "Mary" comes from the Greek Μαρία, which is a shortened form of Μαριάμ. The New Testament name was based on her original Hebrew name מִרְיָם or Miryam. Both Μαρία and Μαριάμ appear in the New Testament.


It is always interesting to see Joseph and Mary in other languages, such as Giuseppi and Maria in Italian.  And of course, there is always the famous star of American films, Giovanni Wayne.


I was also able to find this on the name Mara:


Mara \m(a)-ra\ as a girl's name is pronounced MAHR-ah. It is of Hebrew origin, and the meaning of Mara is "bitter". Biblical: Naomi, mother-in-law of Ruth, claimed the name Mara as an expression of grief after the deaths of her husband and sons.


On a Hebrew stage, most scholars derive the name Miriam from the verb (mara) meaning to be rebellious, disobedient. A derivation from this verb is (meri) meaning rebellion. Jones' Dictionary of Old Testament Proper Names reads Their Rebellion. NOBS Study Bible Name List reads Obstinacy, Stubbornness.


Another possibility is a combination of the words  and :   (mar) means bitter;  (mar) means myrrh. Both come from the root  (marar) meaning be bitter, strengthen, strong.  (mar) probably means drop but is used only once, in Isaiah 40:15).  The word  (yam) means sea.


[[I suppose some find that kind of detail boring, but I enjoy the origin and history or words, especially names.]]


Otherwise, I would have to describe chapter 1 as gut wrenching, for lack of a better way to describe such an outpouring of grief.  On the other hand, for a long time I've felt that the human beings don't merit the high opinion most of them have of themselves, and I am one.  I also find it hard to trust or relate to anyone that doesn't have at least moments of self-loathing.  I also have my share of relatives who blame me for this or that involving my father (I was his legal guardian the last 3 years of his life until he died).  My solution has been simply to not associate with them in any way.  It's a drastic solution, but it has worked pretty well for me.  I feel the same away about my ex-wife, and it's worked well for me in that case, too.  I have no idea what might work for you.  Grief and guilt are hard burdens to bear, but at least they afford you the comfort of knowing you have a conscience.


[[I’ve restarted therapy and am going weekly for the time being.  Except on occasions where my anxiety and panic are at higher levels requiring immediate attention, for the time being we’re going to be focusing on self-loathing, guilt, and my inability to give myself credit for anything good I might do, compared to my but my willing and eager acceptance for blame.]]


With respect to the bit how to be good Jews.  Of course, nothing resembling Christianity as we know it today existed until centuries after his death, and the form it took was unfortunately inordinately influenced by its "legalization" by the Roman Empire.  In my own opinion, it was a good thing as a persecuted underground movement and it's been downhill ever since it became a state religion.  Probably as a result of that, most people today who identify themselves as Christians are not particularly good at the most important thing about Christianity: being kind to other human beings.


[[Unfortunately, that seems to extend across all religions, and any other way you choose to group mankind.]]


Richard Walkerdine: Very sorry to hear about your problems, and actually quite surprised. You are a great editor, totally efficient, always give a good response and I cannot find fault with you in any way. I have no medical training at all so all I can say is keep taking the pills - I just hope they help.


By the way, what did you think of my suggestion of 30 favorite TV shows/series as a replacement for 23 tunes?


[[I’m still considering it, and I think in an issue or two I’m going to go ahead with it.  I think I will wait until the 100 Movies lists finish, but that’s coming up quickly.]]


Richard Weiss: I finally relaxed enough, didn't drink, and had some great laughs with Eternal Sunshine of the Place it Don't Ever Shine's latest issue.


Introduction to book about Mara:  As you remember, I met Mara.  I liked her and you and I thought she liked me.  Enough to go out and eat.  I take it she is dead now.  I am sorry for your loss.  I am interested/captivated with most of the intro, but not the 3rd last paragraph.  I advise taking out you and blaming others.  Let that come later. Start with your love for her and her.  Then build to others perceptions far later.


[[I’ll have to consider that.  Of course as Andy York pointed out, to write an introduction before the book is a bit backwards….but that’s me!  And I’m sure I’ll rework it a number of times, especially given how I hate most everything I write.]]


I started a novel recently, to deal with my relationship now and those past.  The first chapter starts with an explanation of being an old fart. I may never get very far, but on the nights I'm awake, or upset, or introspective, a little more comes out.  Keep on and good luck.


[[Keep me updated, here or privately.  We’ve got a few authors floating around the zine…and a few hopefuls like us.]]


I haven't felt so loved in so long... throwing me in the water after only two days.  Dindja realize I had fresh meat on my bones and you could have eaten my alive and lived longer yourselves.  I consider this a great feat.  The shark considered me a great head, body, etc.  And no, he didn't spit afterwards, swallowed all of me.


Music: Boob, I threw you a lob on the favorite songs, good memory!  One more this time and then only hardball game playing from me. I generally vote you for the least obscure artist, who sounds like their music is new or discordant.  And welcome back to subzine status. 


I played some games the weekend of 21 January, at Chris Hassler's.  Now that I'm living in the vast and glorious Inland Empire, I found some gamers.  When's the last time anyone had a Dip or Gamer's weekend?  Challenge throw down. I think DixieCon was the last con I went to. 


[[Aside from my failed experience TRYING to get Diplomacy going at TexiCon in 2011, I have yet to attend a single con in all my days of playing.  Jim-Bob is bugging me about Chicago in August, but I don’t advise anybody hold their breath on that.  Actually, if these were the old days and I was as anonymous as I once was, I might be more tempted to go as I could be someone else, show horrific confusion about the rules, and make a general nuisance of myself.]]


Dane Maslen: So, you managed to make it through 10 minutes of Little Britain, did you?  I think that's about nine minutes more than I've ever managed.


[[I share a lot of tastes with the Irish fellow who told me to give it a go…but nope, just not my thing, and that was clear from the beginning.]]


Unfortunately I'd been unable to track 12:01 down through an internet search, probably because my recollection of its plot was sufficient vague that I couldn't select suitable keywords.  One other approach I'd tried was looking at the "People who liked this also liked..." section of Groundhog Day's IMDB entry, but I'd drawn a blank there.


I note that that part of a film's IMDB entry has now succumbed to the "let's make it pretty rather than functional" insanity that plaques the world.  It used to be a simple text list of film titles.  Now it shows a picture for each film.  The film title often isn't legible in the picture so one has to hover the mouse over it and wait for a text window to be updated.  Very pretty.  And completely useless.  I think we should forget about toppling evil dictators and concentrate on shooting web designers instead.  It would be a greater service to mankind.


Once again no more films from me.  Next issue I'll almost certainly be sending you 10 more films plus a list of others that were under consideration.  By this time next year I might finally have got round to watching some of them.  There's quite a backlog of viewing on my PVR at present.


Dave McCrumb: I would like to thank you for this contest. While I did not participate in the guessing, I had a lot of fun selecting my 23 songs. I spent the past year paying attention to my music rather than just using it as background. I had two basic criteria I used during my selection process: the song had to be one I always sing along when it is played and the song had to resonate with me emotionally. If I did it again right now I bet 10-20% would be different. There were a few things that surprised me:


·        The biggest surprise where a few artists that didn’t make my list. I fully expected CCR or The Doobie Brothers to be represented early but upon listening to their albums, multiple times, I really couldn’t find any that stood the test of time and meant something to me. The closest was Black Water. Nothing from CCR even came close. And to think how many hours I listened to them as a teenager.


·        I don’t care for recorded jazz. I love it live. In fact, the best concert I ever attended was a B.B. King concert back in ‘79. I used to listen to jazz on the radio late at night, but it was for 20-30 minutes at a time while driving home from late meetings when nothing else was on the radio.


·        I miss classical music. When my office used to be in the middle of the manufacturing floor I would play classical music to drown out the background noise so I could think. I stopped after I moved up into an off-floor office. I was enjoying all my favorites such as Beethoven’s 5th, 6th and 9th as well as Segovia mid-year. I took my CDs with me on a trip to the Midwest during July and left them in the rental car. Of course Hertz claimed they never found them. At some point I’ll have to replace that collection.


·        Most of the artists from my top 23 would have multiple songs on my top 100 list. For the most part I selected my favorite song by that artist for this list. Only 3 artists made my list twice.


·        It is surprising the difference between recorded and live music. Among my five favorite concert events only one artist made my top 23 lists, Allison Krauss at 5th. The others were B.B. King, Jerry Reed, No Jelly and The Doobie Brothers.


Jim Burgess: I am never surprised when any mention of Kirsty MacColl to dippers gains a great response, she seemed to have a laser beamed way into our collective hearts.  Terry is, of course, as tough as Marlon Brando (I also bet everyone gets that one).  I don't think any more of my Dead Zone people have passed into the gentle night, but I knew some dipper had run this before.  I'm glad Richard Weiss admitted it was him.


[[I would imagine it has been run at least one other time, somewhere in Dipdom.]]


Per Westling: Regarding your “Guys and negatives” piece: I am sad to say that this is a good characterization of many (but not all) guys.  Reading it reminds me of some of the advice one receives at dog handling courses - "Don't say don't".  So, maybe one should use more of those advices on guys?  "Feed him twice a day." "You should take him on a walk about every 4th hour." and so on.


The Twisting Tale


This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words.  If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up.  We need more particpants!  Email me at if you’d like to participate!




Chapter 10 by Kevin Tighe - MIA


This is the second month in a row the selected player failed to submit their chapter.  So, last chance.  It’s open to anybody.  Send a chapter in.  Or, if nobody does, I’m ending the story here.


Next up – Anyone




A game of survival, bad breath, and fish odor…


This is the simple game of Lifeboat.  Everyone plays this, whether you participate or not.  Each turn everyone still alive in the lifeboat may make a single vote to throw someone off the lifeboat, or a single vote to remove one vote from yourself (a defensive measure).  The high vote getter is thrown overboard, as well as any player getting 2 or more net votes (due to the damage caused when Sanka was tossed overboard).  In a tie, everyone with that score is thrown over.  Last one in the boat wins.  I’ll probably give a prize, as usual.  Press is encouraged.  Note that the votes themselves are NOT revealed.  I just simply announce who is thrown overboard.  If you’re not listed as in the lifeboat right now but want to be, email me and I will add you next issue.  If you are listed and don’t’ want to be…well, too bad.  There is no suicide in this game; you just can ignore it if you want to. 


Currently in the lifeboat:


Allison Kent

Amber Smith

Andy Lischett

Brad Wilson

Brendan Whyte

Cal White

Carol Kay

David Burgess

David Latimer

David McCrumb

Geoff Kemp

Graham Wilson

Hank Alme

Harley Jordan

Heather Taylor

Hugh Polley

Jeff O'Donnell

Jeremie Lefrancois

Jim Burgess

John Biehl

Kevin Tighe

Kevin Wilson

Lance Anderson

Marc Ellinger

Mark Firth

Martin Burgdorf

Melinda Holley

Michael Cronin

Michael Moulton

Pat Vogelsang

Paul Milewski

Per Westling

Rick Desper

Robin ap Cynan

Tom Swider

William Wood

With a shout of anger, Tom Howell jumps to his feet and begins shout at the rest of the survivors.  “Which one of you has been miscapitalizing the name of my zine?  You McCrumb?  You, Burgess?  I’m as mad as hell, and I won’t take it anymore!”  With that Tom swings at the nearest person – Kevin Wilson…he misses, and twisting around, splashes into the water where a shark gobbles him up like ice cream cake at a birthday party.  The lifeboat remains silent for a minute, until Melinda Holley finally speaks: “I didn’t know he still published a zine.”


Thrown Into the Shark Infested Waters: Douglas Kent, Jack McHugh, Richard Walkerdine, Chris Babcock, Paraic Reddington, Sanka the Cat (safely made it to land), Andy York, Toby the Helpful Kitty (safely made it to land), Phil Murphy, Fred Wiedemeyer, Don Williams, Kayza the Dog (safely made it to land), Michael Quirk, Dane Maslen, Larry Cronin, Chuy Cronin, Richard Weiss. Tom Howell.




Andy "Not Anonymous" Lischett: What do I have to do to get tossed overboard so I can spend my time productively staring at pictures of movies I've never seen? I can't earn the ire of my lifeboat-mates by tossing off cute furry animals, since my craven lifeboat-mates have already tossed the cute animals. Maybe I can get tossed by picking on some helpless female, like Amber, Heather or Melinda, or maybe I can get tossed for calling them helpless. But no, I am voting to toss Jeremie Lefrancois for splitting his name in a cowardly attempt to be on the boat twice.


Tom to ANONYMOUS: I don't care if you talk about me behind my back, just get the capitalization of my 'zine correct!


ANONYMOUS to ANONYMOUS: And two Kevins and two Marks, and two Michaels. If you don't mention them, we'll think you're being prejudicial.


Gandalf to BOOB: You might be a healthy economist, but you ain't no gray wizard.


WILLIAMS to KENT:  Me and Fred and Jack and Paraic want to know; can we be water zombies?  Okay, maybe not Paraic -- he wants to be a Great White.  But the rest of us want to be water zombies and we want you to write an implement new rules that include play by and for water zombies.


Kent – Williams: Jack is already a zombie in real life, so he can’t be one here.  And anyway, water zombies sink to the bottom and dissolve in salt water.


Richard Weiss: I said it in Montauk.  I'll say it from inside the belly of the shark, whether Jonah is here or not, y'all honor me with your love and throwing me in. 


Lance Armstrong Gingrich to survivors:  Here is my big idea from my big manhood to reflect my grandiosity - Two turns from now please don't anyone vote to throw anyone in.  We can all survive if we work together.  Peace and love and survival.  Please. 


BOOB to DEAREST DOUGLAS: Putting my actual name on a press item probably wasn't such a good idea, was it?  I put on my life preserver, but I don't think it will help.


ANONYMOUS to ANONYMOUS: Yes, let's get rid of all of the multifirstnamed players next, as of this time before these drops, there were three Davids, two Kevins, two Michaels, and two Toms.


Deadline for your vote and any press is February 28th at 7:00am my time





Eternal Sunshine Index – ESI

A Scientific Measure of Zine Health

Current Index: 49.86 –0.55%



The Eternal Sunshine Index is a stock-market-like index of the zine. You don’t do anything in this game, except write press or commentary on price movements (or why you think your stock should have gone up or down).  I move the prices beginning with next issue based on my own private formula of quantity and quality zine participation (NMR’s, press, columns, etc.).  Any new zine participants become new issues valued at at 50, but the stock for anyone who disappears will remain listed.  The average of all listed stocks will result in the ESI closing value each month, which will be charted issue to issue after we have a few months’ worth of data.  If you don’t like the stock symbol I have assigned you, you may petition the exchange to change it.  Blame Phil Murphy for suggesting this section to me.


Market Commentary: A few MIA players (especially Kevin Tighe) along with the final depreciation in some Cronin-related assets pushed the index back below 50.  Still, market watchers remain optimistic.






% +/-

AJK - Allison Kent



ALM - Hank Alme



AMB - Amber Smith



AND - Lance Anderson



BAB - Chris Babcock



BIE - John Biehl



BRG - Martin Burgdorf



BWD - Brad Wilson



CAK - Andy Lischett



CAL - Cal White



CHC - Chuy Cronin



CIA - Tom Swider



CKW - Kevin Wilson



CKY - Carol Kay



DAN - Dane Maslen



DBG - David Burgess



DTC - Brendan Whyte



DUK - Don Williams



FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer



FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois



FRT - Mark Firth



GRA - Graham Wilson



HDT - Heather Taylor



HLJ - Harley Jordan



HPL - Hugh Polley



JOD - Jeff O'Donnell



KMP - Geoff Kemp



KVT - Kevin Tighe



LAT - David Latimer



LCR - Larry Cronin



MRK - Mark Nelson



MCC - David McCrumb



MCR - Michael Cronin



MIM - Michael Moulton



MRC - Marc Ellinger



OTS - Tom Howell



PER - Per Westling



PJM - Phil Murphy



QUI - Michael Quirk



RAC - Robin ap Cynan



RDP - Rick Desper



REB - Melinda Holley



RED - Paraic Reddington



RWE - Richard Weiss



SAK - Jack McHugh



TAP - Jim Burgess



VOG - Pat Vogelsang



WAY - W. Andrew York



WLK - Richard Walkerdine



WWW - William Wood



YLP - Paul Milewski





Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh –

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #39




Once again, with no help from any of you butt-faces, I managed to find myself a job.  Maybe I’ll get lucky and they won’t outsource me to India in the first month.  I’m doing help desk hardware support, which isn’t my dream come true but it’s decent, and I’m glad to be working again.  Everything else – house, relationship, weight, personal hygiene – are still up in the air.  If nothing else, I have a normal routine and feel mostly human for the first time in a long time.  I hope it lasts…but if it does, it won’t be because of any of you.  At least Doogie sent me a couple of nice Xmas presents.  The rest of you can go play in the freeway.


As usual, I hope every single thing you find here offends you, revolts you, pisses you off, gets your panties in a wad, or in some other way makes your day at least 1/10th as crappy as my life is.  So start reading, and by the way, blow me.




A Grandmother's Wisdom...


A nice old story with a different twist - will make you appreciate family.


My grandmother died in the 60s, but her birthday is coming up, and that always causes me to reminisce. The long walks we used to take to the store in town, the quarters she gave me for meaningless jobs like pulling weeds or washing the sidewalk...


Those gems were all good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only about 13. We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda bottles for the deposit money on a beautiful spring day.


She told me that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my own family. "And always remember this," she said "Be sure you marry a woman with small hands."


"How come, Grandma?" I asked her.


She answered in her soft voice ...


"Makes your dick look bigger."


Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?



…which reminds me of the following newspaper article, which is a bit hard to read but that’s your tough luck booby:







A Jewish girl tells her SMU college roommate that she's going home for Rosh Hashanah.


The Catholic girl asks the Jewish girl, "Is this the holiday when you light eight candles?"


"No," the Jewish girl replies, "that's Hanukah."


The Catholic girl then asks the Jewish girl, "Is that when you eat those big crackers?"


"No," the Jewish girl replies, "that's Passover.  Rosh Hashanah is the holiday when we blow the shofar."


The Catholic girl replies, "That's what I like about you're so good to your help."


A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach.  He had no arms and no legs.  Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.


The English woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'.  The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.


The Welsh woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'.  The man said 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.


The Scottish woman came to him and said 'ave ya ever been fooked laddie?'. The man broke into a big smile and said 'no'.


She said, 'Aye - Ya will be when the tide comes in'.


The Difference Between Grandmothers & Grandfathers


Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is: There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- just him and his granddaughter.


One particular Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for the drive.


When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked. "Oh, yes, Grandpa, it was really wonderful. We didn't see a single asshole, piece of crap, horse's ass, blind bastard, dipshit, Muslim goat humper or son of a bitch anywhere we went!"



Men's Age, as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot


You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house -- Mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever.  You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes.  Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job.  Depending on your age you might do the following:


In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.   Check yourself in the mirror and flex.  Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.  And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register...


In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.  You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair.   Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.   The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.


In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.   Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.   Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.   Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.   The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.


In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.   Change shoes because you don't want to get dog doo-doo in your new sports car.   Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat.  The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.  Then you remember the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms .'


In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore.. Hose the dog doo-doo off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. Y ou hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.  The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.


In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too.  Don't even notice the dog doo-doo on your shoes.  The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch.


In your 80's:  Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot.   Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name.  You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.


In your 90's & beyond: What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden?  Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?










By Paul Milewski


Lest there be any doubt, almost all of this article is copied and pasted off the web, and I have omitted any literary attributions.


Washington was born on February 11, 1731, based on the Julian calendar then in use in the British Colonies. When the Gregorian calendar was adopted in the English Colonies (1752), he opted to begin observing his birthday on the equivalent date of February 22, 1732.  On Wednesday evening, September 2, 1752, millions of British subjects in England and the colonies went to sleep and did not wake up until twelve days later because of the British Calendar Act of 1751, which declared the day after Wednesday the second to be Thursday the fourteenth. Up until that September evening, the official British calendar differed from that of continental Europe by eleven days—that is, September 2 in London was September 13 in Paris, Lisbon, and Berlin. The discrepancy sprung from Britain's continued use of the Julian calendar, which had been the official calendar of Europe since its invention by Julius Caesar (after whom it was named) in 45 B.C. Caesar's calendar, which consisted of eleven months of 30 or 31 days and a 28-day February (extended to 29 days every fourth year), was pretty accurate: it erred from the real solar calendar by only 11½ minutes a year. After centuries, though, even a small inaccuracy like this adds up. The problem is that the Earth doesn’t complete an orbit of the Sun in exactly 365 days (or 31,536,000 seconds).  Of course, the rate at which the Earth spins on its axis (determining the length of the day) has slowed down—ask any dinosaur.  By the sixteenth century, the Julian calendar was behind the solar one by 10 days.  In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII ordered the advancement of the calendar by 10 days and introduced a new corrective device to curb further error: century years such as 1700 or 1800 would no longer be counted as leap years, unless they were (like 1600 or 2000) divisible by 400. The Gregorian calendar year differs from the solar year by only 26 seconds—accurate enough for most mortals, since this only adds up to one day's difference every 3,323 years. In Alaska, the change took place when Friday, 6 October 1867 was followed again by Friday, 18 October after the US purchase of Alaska from Russia, which was still on the Julian calendar. Instead of 12 days, only 11 were skipped, and the day of the week was repeated on successive days, because the International Date Line was shifted from Alaska's eastern to western boundary along with the change to the Gregorian calendar. In Russia the Gregorian calendar was accepted after the October Revolution (so named because it took place in October 1917 in the Julian calendar). On 24 January 1918 the Council of People's Commissars issued a Decree that Wednesday, 31 January 1918 was to be followed by Thursday, 14 February 1918, thus dropping 13 days from the calendar. The last country of Eastern Orthodox Europe to adopt the Gregorian calendar was Greece on Thursday, 1 March 1923, which followed Wednesday, 15 February 1923 (a change that also dropped 13 days).


An atomic clock is a clock that uses an electronic transition frequency in the microwave, optical, or ultraviolet region of the electromagnetic spectrum of atoms as a frequency standard for its timekeeping element. Atomic clocks are the most accurate time and frequency standards known, and are used as primary standards for international time distribution services, to control the wave frequency of television broadcasts, and in global navigation satellite systems such as GPS.  The principle of operation of an atomic clock is not based on nuclear physics, but rather on atomic physics and using the microwave signal that electrons in atoms emit when they change energy levels.  Early atomic clocks were based on masers at room temperature. Currently, the most accurate atomic clocks first cool the atoms to near absolute zero temperature by slowing them with lasers and probing them in atomic fountains in a microwave-filled cavity.  An example of this is the NIST-F1 atomic clock, the U.S. national primary time and frequency standard.  The accuracy of an atomic clock depends on the temperature of the sample atoms—colder atoms move much more slowly, allowing longer probe times, as well as having reduced collision rates—and on the frequency and intrinsic width of the electronic transition. Higher frequencies and narrow lines increase the precision.  National standards agencies maintain an accuracy of 10−9 seconds per day (approximately 1 part in 1014), and a precision set by the radio transmitter pumping the maser. These clocks collectively define a continuous and stable time scale, International Atomic Time (TAI).  For civil time, Coordinated Universal Time (UTC) is used.  UTC is derived from TAI, but approximately synchronized, by using leap seconds, to UT1, which is based on actual rotations of the earth with respect to the solar time.  In 2011, the NPL-CsF2 cesium fountain clock operated by the National Physical Laboratory (NPL), which serves as the United Kingdom primary time and frequency standard, was improved regarding the two largest sources of measurement uncertainties — distributed cavity phase and microwave lensing frequency shifts.  As of 2011 this resulted in an evaluated frequency uncertainty reduction from 4.1 x 10-16 to 2.3 x 10-16—the lowest value for any primary national standard so far. At this frequency uncertainty the NPL-CsF2 is expected to neither gain nor lose a second in more than 138 million years.

Description: File:FOCS-1.jpgHere is a picture of Atomic Clock FOCS-1 (Switzerland). It stands in a laboratory of the Swiss Federal Office of Metrology METAS in Bern.  A radio clock is a clock that automatically synchronizes itself by means of government radio time signals received by a radio receiver.  Many retailers market radio clocks inaccurately as atomic clocks; although the radio signals they receive originate from atomic clocks, they are not atomic clocks themselves.  They are inexpensive time-keeping devices with an accuracy of only about a second.  Instrument grade time receivers provide higher accuracy.  Such devices incur a transit delay of approximately 1 millisecond for every 300 kilometers (186 mi) of distance from the radio transmitter.


A leap second is a positive or negative one-second adjustment to the Coordinated Universal Time (UTC) time scale that keeps it close to mean solar time. UTC, which is used as the basis for official time-of-day radio broadcasts for civil time, is maintained using extremely precise atomic clocks. To keep the UTC time scale close to mean solar time, UTC is occasionally corrected by an intercalary adjustment, or "leap", of one second. Over long time periods, leap seconds must be added at an ever increasing rate. The timing of leap seconds is now determined by the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service (IERS). Leap seconds were determined by the Bureau International de l'Heure (BIH) prior to January 1, 1988, when the IERS assumed that responsibility.  When a positive leap second is added at 23:59:60 UTC, it delays the start of the following UTC day (at 00:00:00 UTC) by one second, effectively delaying the UTC clock. Negative leap seconds have never been needed.  Historic eclipse observations show that length of day tends to increase by roughly two milliseconds per century.  Tidal braking slows down Earth's rotation, causing the length of a day to increase by approximately 2 milliseconds every century (meaning a projected increase from the current 86400.002 to 86400.004 by the early part of the 22nd century). Additionally, events or processes that cause a significant change to the mass distribution of the earth, thereby changing its moment of inertia, can affect the rate of rotation due to conservation of angular momentum.  Most notable in recent times is the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake which, according to theoretical models, is thought to have decreased the solar day by 2.68 microseconds.  For unknown reasons, the earth's rotation speed increased in 1999, so the mean solar day has become 1 ms shorter and fewer leap seconds have been needed after year 2000.


John Chrysostom preached a sermon in Antioch in or about the year 386 which established the date of Christmas as December 25 on the Julian calendar since the conception of Jesus (Luke 1:26) had been announced during the sixth month of Elisabeth's pregnancy with John the Baptist (Luke 1:10-13) as dated from the duties Zacharias performed on the Day of Atonement during the seventh month of the Hebrew calendar Ethanim or Tishri (Lev. 16:29, 1 Kings 8:2) which falls in September–October.  When Dionysius Exiguus computed the date of Christ's birth in the Middle Ages, he named the year of the Nativity 1 A.D., and stated that Jesus' birthdate was December 25 of that year. The year immediately before this was the year 1 B.C. He did not include a year zero. To complicate matters further, it seems that Dionysius' made an error in his calculations. Herod the Great, who the Bible says was alive at the time of Christ's birth, died in the year 4 B.C., based on the reports of Josephus. According to the Gospel of Matthew, when Herod was unable to trick the astrologers into leading him to the Child, he ordered the slaughter of all the male babies in Bethlehem.  Since Herod's command (which is not attested outside the Gospels) was to kill all babies under age 2, this event occurred no more than 2 years after Christ's birth.  If we assume that this happened near the end of Herod's life (which seems likely), this puts Christ's birth in what we call the year 5 or 6 B.C.  Ironically enough, considering it was the Romans who crucified him, we use a Roman calendar to measure time before or after the birth of Christ (BC or AD, respectively, or BCE or CE for “Before Common Era” and “Common Era”, if you prefer, although I think that begs the issue) instead of using the Jewish calendar he would have used himself.  (I have similar misgivings about celebrating a church service in Latin as opposed to Aramaic, but I digress.)


Gregorian: January 1, 2012

Julian: December 19, 2011

Jewish: Tevet 6, 5772

(Jewish dates change at sunset.  “Roman” dates change at midnight.)



by Richard Walkerdine



Mother-In-Law Joke No 2008


A couple went on safari in Africa and her mother insisted on going along too.


During their first night in camp the wife woke and decided to check on her mother. To her dismay her mother’s tent was empty.


The wife rushed back to her tent, woke her husband and they started searching for the missing woman.


When they found her she was backed up against a huge boulder with a big lion snarling right in front of her.


“Quick,” pleaded the wife, “do something!”


“No way,” replied her husband. “That lion got himself into this mess so he can get himself out of it.”



Deep Thoughts By Men When Fishing


Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer.


Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, “I think I’m going to divorce my wife – she hasn’t spoken to me in over two months.”


Sam continues slowly sipping his beer. Then, after thinking for a while, he says, “You better think it over – women like that are hard to find.”



Native American Name


An old Native American was asked what his wife’s name was.


“Wife named Three Horses,” he replied.


“That’s an unusual name for your wife, what does it mean?”


“It’s old traditional name. Means nag nag nag.”




Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?


Rules in ES #58.  Send in your guesses.  I’ve played this in Brandon Whyte’s Damn the Consequences a few times and it’s fun, takes only a minute or two each turn, and helps you work your brain!




Brendan Whyte:

Kendo Nagasaki in Nagasaki


Richard Walkerdine:

Barack Obama in Nagasaki


Kevin Wilson:

Cristina Fernández de Kirchner in Chicago


Tom Howell:

Brendan Whyte in Canberra, Australia


Andy Lischett:

Tom Jones in Kansas City, Missouri


Jack McHugh:

Bill Clinton in New York City


Michael Moulton:

Brad Pitt in London, England


Dave McCrumb:

Tony Stewart in Charlotte, NC


Rick Desper:

Neil Gaiman in Stuttgart, Germany



Martin Burgdorf:

Lady Gaga in Hanoi


Richard Weiss:

Steve Jobs in Nagasaki


Paraic Reddington:

Donald Trump in Lagos, Nigeria


Jim Burgess:

Robert Downey, Jr. in Kandahar, Afghanistan


Kevin Tighe:

John Cleese in Rio de Janeiro


Mark Firth:

“Bishop” from Alien in Hanoi


Per Westling:

Barack Obama in Cairo


Robin ap Cynan:

JK Rowling in Edinburgh


Clue to Person with the Closest Guess (Notified by email): I was born about a century before you.




Jack McHugh:


Sigmund Freud in Beijing


Brendan Whyte:


Oscar Wilde in Oslo


Paraic Reddington:


Queen Victoria in London


Andy Lischett:


Tess D’Urberville in Chicago


Tom Howell:


T. Woodrow Wilson in Shanghai


Richard Walkerdine:


Abraham Lincoln in New York City


Robin ap Cynan:


Orson Welles in Vienna


Richard Weiss:


Herbert Hoover in Cape Town


Jim Burgess:


Benjamin Disraeli in Bloomsbury, England


Martin Burgdorf:


Albert Einstein in Pasadena, California


Michael Moulton:


Abraham Lincoln in Dublin


Dave McCrumb:


Sam Clemmons in Hartford, CT


Kevin Tighe:


Otto von Bismarck in Berlin


Mark Firth:


Abraham Lincoln in Bujumbura


Kevin Wilson:


Mark Twain in Lisbon



Clue to Person with the Closest Guess (Notified by email): We were born during the same century, but not on the same continent.




Andy Lischett:


Greta Garbo in Philadelphia


Brendan Whyte:


Homer in Athens


Rick Desper:


Terry Pratchett in Heidelberg, Germany


Richard Walkerdine:


Lord Randolph Churchill (father of Sir Winston) in London.


Kevin Wilson:


Neville Chamberlain in Barcelona


Tom Howell:


Theodore Roosevelt in Paris


Paraic Reddington:


Chairman Mao in Sao Paolo


Martin Burgdorf:


Louis Armstrong in Chicago


Richard Weiss:


Alexander Graham Bell in Rio de Janeiro


Michael Moulton:


Grover Cleveland in Birmingham, England


Dave McCrumb:


Queen Victoria in London


Jack McHugh:


Charles Dickens in Panama City


Jim Burgess:


Teddy Roosevelt in Buenos Aires


Mark Firth:


John Elway in Frankfurt


Clue to Person with the Closest Guess (Notified by email): Some blame you in part for what happened to my place of birth.




Agent B to Agent F: No worries as long as Agent C sticks with the youngsters.


Agent H to Agents W and D: Come back! We need your excellent analytical skills!


Agent F to Agent B: I’ve managed to lose sight of Agent M, but no sight of Abe here either.


Deadline for Round 4 is February 28th at 7:00am My Time





January 28, 2012

Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287, jfburgess of

E-MAIL/WEB ONLY ISSUE! PDF will be available on the website. Come to TempleCon and then go to World DipCon in Chicago in August, we can overwhelm Shark Chum with 330 warm bodies!

Web Page Address:

Some of you are still not on the E-Mail list for this szine, I keep trying to sign you up, please accept the offer! I am being a bit more systematic about that right now. I am going ahead and finishing all the games here, and then we'll see what happens.


This issue codifies the next step of the szine/subszine inversion. As most of you know, this thing began as a ßubszine" to Terry Tallman's North Sealth, West George, then became its own szine with a host of subszines. The subszines remaining will appear as sub-subszines to our new flipflopped home in Doug Kent's Eternal Sunshine. Doug will keep us on schedule so we will charge forward and finish the remaining games that I have in here. After that, we'll see how it goes and what I do next. I'd like to keep writing and doing some game GMing. You all should see first what I actually do.


For production, in addition to the HTML's of each separate product on the web page, I will also have a PDF that you can print of the entire subszine (including my famous handdrawn maps!). You can just print the maps if you like, but remember maps are for pikers anyway, you don't need no steenkin' maps, keep them up in your head where they belong. I don't think there are very many people I owe money, but if you think I owe you money, just ask and I will pay. ONE GROUP that is definitely owed money is the players with NMR insurance. NMR insurance still continues, I will still call you for it, and when your game ends, I will refund the money.


I have now tried to sign up all the players, some multiple times, but please check. THIS IS A PROBLEM, sign up now if you're playing so you get proper notification!!! General information about the mailing list is at:


You can sign up from there, or send E-Mails to: Tap-request of; with the word `help' in the subject or body (don't include the quotes), and you will get back a message with instructions. You must know your password to change your options (including changing the password, itself) or to unsubscribe.



((Let's keep talking about FTF tournament diplomacy! Depending on when you read this, it may not be too late to join me at TempleCon, first weekend in February. The website for the Convention itself is I'll have a Tournament report in next issue. Looking beyond that World DipCon is fast approaching in August, I'm about to put a real hard full-court press on getting every single one of you reading this to come. Why not? E-Mail me with your excuse and I'll shred it. The convention is in beautiful downtown Chicago and has five rounds beginning first thing Friday morning, August 10th and ending on August 12th. Find more information at: or contact Jim O'Kelley (aka Shark Chum) and come meet me and maybe you'll see my "Alice" T-Shirt coming out of the closet... let's especially get some of the old crowd to come join us, there is a rumor that Pete Gaughan might show up.))

((For these and other upcoming cons around the world:

Eric Ozog (Thu, Jan 19, 2012 at 12:24 AM)

Thanks Jim- I bought the latest Mekons album Ancient & Modern 1911-2011 and it's good. Most of the songs have a folk sound to it, except for the killer second track "Space in Your Face", which rocks!. Overall, it's a much better album than their previous effort Natural.

Eric, elferic of



I am continuing to note cut or failed support orders with a small "s" instead of a capital "S". This will make it easier on the E-Mailed version of the szine to see what happened, since the italics don't show there. The italics DO show on the web page just fine.

Standby lists:

Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Bob Osuch, Doug Kent, Sean O'Donnell, Heath Gardner, Paul Kenny, and Jeff O'Donnell stand by for regular Diplomacy. Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF given the new policies.



I'm going to start the game opening list over. Under the new regime, who wants to play? First off, another regular Diplomacy game is open. Doug Kent and Brad Wilson are in, anyone else?

THE PHIL REYNOLDS MEMORIAL: 2006B, Regular Diplomacy


Winter 1905

AUSTRIA (Burgess): has f ION, a BUD, a PIE, a VIE, a VEN, f GOL,

a BUL, a TYO, f TYH.

ENGLAND (James): bld f edi; has f EDI, f MID, f NWG, a BEL, f WES, f SWE.

FRANCE (Williams): has f NAF, a GAS, f SPA(SC), a BUR.

GERMANY (Ellinger): has a SIL, a MUN, a BER, f NTH, a FIN.

ITALY (Crow): rem a gal; f TUN, a MAR.

RUSSIA (Barno): bld a war; has a WAR, a BOH, a STP, f BLA, a LVN, f GRE,

a RUM, f GOB.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: David Burgess, 101 Laurel Lane, Queensbury, NY 12804

(518) 761-6687, burgesscd of or dburgess of

ENGLAND: Drew James, 3644 Whispering Woods Terrace, Baldwinsville, NY 13027

(315) 652-1956, kjames01 of

FRANCE: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947,

wllmsfmly of or dwilliams of ($5)

GERMANY: Marc Ellinger, 751 Turnberry Drive, Jefferson City, MO 65109

mellinger of

ITALY: John Crow, 946 S. Medalist Circle Plano, TX 75023-2851,

(214) 532-1418, johnny.crow of

RUSSIA: Mike Barno, 1071 Warren Road Apt 8 Ithaca, NY 14850, (607) 481-4526

mpbarno of

TURKEY: Fred Wiedemeyer, Box 92010-Meadowbrook RPO, Edmonton, ALBERTA

CANADA T6T 1N1, (780) 465-6432, wiedem of or wiedem of

Game Notes:

1) Everyone seems re-engaged, thanks! We know we have the Syracuse fans here, so my condolences on the loss of the unbeaten season, literally as I was typing in these adjustments I looked up and there was Notre Dame upsetting the 'Cuse. But that didn't generate any press. I have some old press that was written six months ago, hope it's ok that I dug it out and printed it. And also some newer press.... you can figure out which is which.


(RUSSIA to FRANCE): Ours not to reason why, ours just to get swallowed up by the breach and get annihilated.

(YELLOWSTONE VETERAN to SMOKEY THE BEAR): Sometimes if you "stop, drop, and roll," you end up not escaping the flames but just getting covered with bear scat.

(RED KINGS 13 (Dark Press –- not for attribution) AIN'T DEAD YET):

I glanced at my watch; 3:29... I TAP'ed it a couple of times, but the second hand kept plugging along like the horse you had just bet the milk money on. Slow, but sure...but slow. The dame leaned in to look over my shoulder, I didn't so much see her, as feel the heat go up a couple of notches on my thermostat. She smacked her gum.

"Watsa' mattah?"

"I thought it had stopped, but it seems to be working again..."

Virgule, the monk, intoned solemnly on my right, "Even a stopped watch is right twice a day."

I shot him a snarl, which has a requisite curl to the lip, but just on the one side of the mouth, and a raspiness of voice; "Really? So, do you write the fortune cookies, or just read them?" I'd dropped the eyebrow for a chaser of disdain.

Virgule's oriental inscrutability left him bulletproof to sarcasm; disdain and all.

The dame gave the XAT Heuer and it's marching second hand an appraising look; "It ain't dead yet. So's if it don't keep good time, whaddya' hold onto it for? Does it have like a sentimental value to youse?"

"Only if sentimental is the five bucks you can get when you hock it. Leverage that into a bottle of Cheater's and you've got a whole day of potential. Makes me all misty eyed just thinking about it."

"So's it's not like a family heirloom or somesuch."

"Naw, it's the some such. Got it out of Burgess' bureau drawer when I was looking for a clean pair of socks."

The blonde's brow furrowed and she leaned in even closer, my pulse tried to catch up to the second hand, but couldn't see to run through the perfume.

"He didn't mind?"

"About the socks? He hates that."

"So's you tellin' me you took Burgess' watch and you expected it to keep good time?"

"Well, just for deadlines, retreats, Winter know. It's not like I'm playing Ticket to Ride."

The dame sat back, the air pulled into the vacant space between us was substantially cooler and less well formed, though her perfume still wafted, which is one gay ass word when you think about it. Wafted, like you're supposed to be rafting, but on the wind, or walking, but lightly in the air. Which brings to mind whiff. You can catch a whiff of something; not the whole nose smell, but the discount loss leader of aroma. Just the smidgeon of it tickling your olfactory senses... which means you could whiff the waft. Which seems counter-intuitive somehow, because waffles don't strike me as gay, or even that light... maybe more ethnic, the whole waffles and chicken thing...

"Hullo!" The dame was staring at me, a look of concern in her eyes. I was almost touched...she could do better. "Youse okay dere?"

"Yeah," I answered, "just thinking."

"And dey said dis story didn't have dangerous plot twists," retorted the dame. "So what wuzzit youse were thinking?"

"That actually, I've never been struck by a waffle, gay or otherwise..."

The blonde sat silent for a moment as she chewed and digested this last morsel of information and pursed her lips in thought.

"Youse not the brightest Private Eye in the Hobby are youse?"

I picked my fedora up off the counter, and placed in on my head with a practiced nonchalance. I know, because I have practiced. I shot her my self assured look of competence and cocksuredness (which some don't think is a word), and answered. "I'm the only Private Eye in the Hobby."

Outside the Diplomatic Paunch the day was well on its way, where to I wasn't sure, but it seemed to be plodding apace. The breeze was blowing in off the Sea of Press, sweeping the streets free of the detritus of broken promises and failed ploys and the other toxic castoffs of the hobby. It gave the air a crisp clean feel, the guileless charm of sincerity, a baby's trusting smile, a brand new shiny knife. It reminded me of summers spent camping up in the Yellowbacks, somewhere west of the Hobby.

"Youse having a flashback?" asked the dame. She popped her gum in punctuation.

I squinted one eye and looked around. Most flashbacks occur in black and white, which can be tricky in press. Hard to tell the difference...which is why I always look for the italics. Which isn't meant to be bigoted, some of my best friends are italics... and the food, you gotta love the food.

"Then we can catch the Red car East and transfer to the White Line...

A newsboy on the corner was waving a paper in the air;

Read all about it! Hierophant goes Missing! Missing and Silent!

`I don' think you can transfer at Galicia and 52nd,' she said, eyeing the faded map.

`What do you want to do, walk across the Hobby?' "

"The Red Car," I said, "we have to catch the Red Car." The dame fell into step with me as we headed down the sidewalk. I didn't look back, but I was sure the chink was right behind us, and I couldn't help but have the nagging feeling that someone was behind him. It wasn't like we blended in. The dame was in a shimmery red sarong, the monk wore his long flowing robe...heck, I was the only one clad in normal clothes. Fedora, trench coat, tightly clenched cigarette in my jaw; who doesn't wear that?

Call it the itch between the blades, cross-hair fever, or the feeling you get when your markers been sold to the Weasel gang and Shark Chum's been sent to it what you want, but it wouldn't go away. I even tried the old trick of trying to catch reflections in the zine windows as we walked by, but we were in the older part of the Hobby when the zines had been mimeographed. The print smudges were so bad it had come off everywhere, the windows so grimed that they cast shadows, not reflections.

Shadows...thought I heard a laugh at that, must have been my internal dialog.

It turns out you could transfer at Galicia and 52nd. Though I don't remember that many Trattorias being there last time I was here. Could of sworn there'd been a Bierhaus on the corner. Now it was ristorantes with checkered tablecloths outdoors and an organ grinder and his monkey. And I didn't like the way the monkey was looking at me.

I looked down at Burgess' XAT Heuer on my wrist, it still read 3:29, we were making good time. I TAP'd a couple of Red Kings out of the pack, one for me, one for the dame. Which left it empty, the chink was on his own. Though he probably preferred opium...just sayin'.

I fished the matches out of my pocket, couldn't recall where I'd picked them up. They had the name "Eternal Sunshine" emblazoned over a cartoon sun, but I didn't frequent tanning salons, so didn't figure I'd gotten them first hand. It didn't seem like Eternal Sunshine was a good name for a bar...which eliminated a lot of my list of suspects. Not that it mattered, a match by any other name... I flared one up and lit the two fags and passed one off to the dame. She inhaled like a trooper and I watched the rise and fall of the empire, so to speak. Something about big breasts, cigarette smoke and blonde hair...and big breasts. A charge of the light brigade all to itself.

The tram for the White line pulled up with a screech of metal on metal brakes that sounded like the fishwife who finds her husband sleeping on the stoop in the morning. The doors hissed open and as we got on I absently tossed the empty pack of Red Kings at the trash bin by the lamp post. A gust of wind kicked up and I missed. The pack hit the rim and bounced over, onto the sidewalk, but the tram door was closing. Screw it, write me a ticket.

As the tram pulled off in a huff and lurch mambo dance of public transportation I saw the organ grinder's monkey scuttle up to the empty pack like it was catnip for simians. Poor furry bastard probably thought there was still a butt in it.

The White line goes back into the old neighborhoods of the Hobby. The tram trundled past Pontevedria, and I looked out at zines I had never seen before, never even heard of. There were fewer and fewer riders as we went along, and the zines were older, less well kept up, many just vacant and abandoned.

The tram hitched and jerked to a stop. The driver got up and stretched expansively.

"End of the line folks, Bahnhof Zoo."


SPIRALS OF PARANOIA: 2005A, Regular Diplomacy


Spring 1909

FRANCE (Jim Tretick for Buddy Tretick): f bre-ENG, a por-SPA, f spa(sc)-WES, a gas-BUR,

f gol-TYH, f mid-NAF, a MAR h, f IRI-nao.

GERMANY (Ozog for Tallman): a ber-MUN, f KIE h, a mun-TYO, a PIE S a rom-ven,

a BUD h, a VIE S a tyo-tri, a tyo-TRI, a nap-ROM, f SKA h, a rom-VEN,

a BEL h, f NAO h.

ITALY (Kent): f ven-ADR, a apu-NAP, a ser-BUL, a GRE S a ser-bul.

RUSSIA (Sundstrom): f SEV S f rum-bla, a mos-UKR, f rum-BLA, a ukr-RUM,

a con-ANK, a SYR-smy, a ARM S a con-ank.

TURKEY (Lutterbie): a ank s f smy (d ann), f SMY s f bla-con, f bla-CON.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Paul Rauterberg, 3116 W. American Dr., Greenfield, WI 53221,

(414) 281-2339 (E-Mail) paul.rauterberg of

ENGLAND: Fred Wiedemeyer, Box 92010-Meadowbrook RPO, Edmonton, ALBERTA CANADA T6T 1N1,

(780) 465-6432, wiedem of or wiedem of

FRANCE: Buddy Tretick, 5023 Sewell's Pointe Way, Fredericksburg, VA 22407

FRANCE: Temporary Standby is Jim Tretick, jtretick of

GERMANY: Terry Tallman, PO Box 782, Clinton, WA 98236, (360) 331-5698 ($2)

terryt of

GERMANY: Temporary Standby is Eric Ozog, PO Box 1138, Granite Falls, WA 98252-1138,

(360) 691-4264, ElfEric of

ITALY: Doug Kent, 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

dougray30 of

RUSSIA: Matt Sundstrom, 1760 Robincrest Lane South, Glenview, IL 60025, (847) 729-1882,

Matt.Sundstrom of or mattandzoe of

TURKEY: Vince Lutterbie, 1021 Stonehaven Ave Marshall, MO 65340-2837,

(660) 886-7354, melvin4852 of

Game Notes:

1) The FGR draw proposal was rejected and is reproposed, vote with your summer orders.

2) We now have two medical replacements, as Buddy's son Jim (who some of us played with many years ago as James Alan) will be playing for Buddy as Eric is playing for Terry.

3) Vince Lutterbie takes over as Turkey. See his contact information above. Please welcome him to the game and let's continue!

4) There are not any retreats, you also can keep the game moving by submitting Fall orders by the February 24 deadline.







FLIP FLOP: 2003G, Regular Diplomacy


Spring 1913

AUSTRIA (Wilson): a war-lvn (d r:pru,otb).

ENGLAND (Kent): a edi-YOR, f NAO-mid, f MID-wes, f NWY-stp, a DEN-lvn,

a ber-SIL, f eng-NTH, f swe-GOB, f BAL C a den-lvn.

FRANCE (McHugh): a PAR-bur, f NAF S f mid-wes, f MAR-gol, a MUN-tyo,

a BUR-mun, f SPA(SC) S f mar-spa(sc), a GAS-mar.

GERMANY (Sundstrom): a STP-nwy.

TURKEY (Levinson): a con-BUL, a ank-ARM, a smy-CON, f ion-TUN, a MOS S a ukr-war,

a ven-TUS, f TYH S f wes, a ukr-WAR, f WES s f ion-tun, a TYO s a vie-boh, f apu-ION,

f GOL s wes, a vie-BOH, f PIE S f gol, a GAL S a ukr-war, a bud-VIE.

Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Brad Wilson, 713 Tasker St. #1, Philadelphia, PA 19148-1237

bwdolphin146 of

ENGLAND: Doug Kent, 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

dougray30 of

FRANCE: Jack McHugh, 810 School Lane, Folcroft, PA 19032, (856) 456-5984,

jwmchughjr of

GERMANY: Matt Sundstrom, 1760 Robincrest Lane South, Glenview, IL 60025, (847) 729-1882,

Matt.Sundstrom of or mattandzoe of

ITALY: Don Williams, 27505 Artine Drive, Saugus, CA 91350, (661) 297-3947,

wllmsfmly of or dwilliams of

RUSSIA: Sean O'Donnell, 1044 Wellfleet Drive, Grafton, OH 44044, (440) 926-0230,

sean_o_donnell of

TURKEY: Alexandre Levinson, Beeklaan 504, 2562BP Den Haag THE NETHERLANDS, don't need phone,

al of ($5)

Game Notes:

1) The host of draw proposals: FET, FATE, and FAE; all were rejected.



SECRETS: 1999D, Regular Diplomacy


Addresses of the Participants

ENGLAND: Doug Kent, 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

dougray30 of

FRANCE: Roland Sasseville, Jr., 38 Bucklin Street, Pawtucket, RI 02861, (401) 481-4280 ($0)

rolands6 of

GERMANY: Mike Barno, 1071 Warren Road Apt 8 Ithaca, NY 14850, (607) 481-4526

mpbarno of

RUSSIA: Bob Osuch, 19137 Midland Avenue, Mokena, IL 60448, (708) 478-3885

ROsuch4082 of

TURKEY: Bruce Linsey, PO Box 234, Kinderhook, NY 12106

GonzoHQ of

Game Notes:

1) Now, we would like to see some more endgame statements if we could, I've printed the full game SC chart and would like to print more endgame statements in the next issue. I think Bruce also is going to say that he is retiring from Diplomacy with this game (I hope he doesn't).



What a strange standby position this was. I got called to take over for a spot that looked like I would have no choice at all and would just take some stalemate line position and sit still until a big draw passed. Instead I got to go on a grand tour of about nine new supply centers, own every home center of the eventual winner, and get a piece of the strangest win you'll ever see.

I came in thinking I would be part of an all-western-powers-gotta-get-together-to-stop-an-eastern-leader alliance, dull but necessary. As it happened, my late brother Phil and I had a disagreement about how to handle hobby disagreements, nothing to do with this game. I made some move just to aggravate him, he overreacted, and he decided the western alliance didn't need me. So I was determined to prove him wrong. Sure enough, his alliance lost without me, and I survived. Along the way, I took far more supply centers from the Turkish leader than Phil ever could hope to. Eventually I took most of the Austro-Hungarian centers, most of the Balkan centers, and every Turkish center. If I never got to hold more than the one I was in, well, that was more than the alliance-without-me ever owned.

In the end, my only real agreement was mutually honored, and I got to be an active part of an historic ending. If I had to take a loss, it was the loss that those who wanted to dump me suffered themselves. Congratulations to Bruce for (as Jim noted) a negotiated solo win, the best kind. Thanks to Jim for running this game for about a thousand years.


TURKEY (Linsey)

Hey guys - thanks for allowing me to pull off this unique victory...this was quite satisfying, and I appreciate being able to go out of the postal Diplomacy hobby in style. I also liked being able to do it while keeping all my promises (survival for France and Germany; second place for Russia). I really enjoyed working with all of you, and Jim-Bob, thanks for running it. I'll try to get an endgame statement to you soon.

Bruce (signing off as TURKEY)

((I'm presuming we're going to have more as an endgame statement, especially if you are "going out in style"?))


CAST NO SHADOWS: Breaking Away, Designer's Rules

Rules at:


Turn 16



Carrot (20), Granny (16), Water (12),


Kyrie (10), Gloria (8)


-F-I-N-A-L- -F-I-N-I-S-H- -L-I-N-E-

120 (no replenishment)



119 (no replenishment)



118 (replenish with a 3)



117 (no replenishment)



116 (replenish with a 3)

Agnus, Mideast


115 (replenish with a 5)



114 (replenish with a 6)



113 (no replenishment)



112 (no replenishment)



111 (replenish with a 3)



110 (no replenishment)



109 (replenish with a 3)

Zorro, Xavier, Kyoto


108 (no replenishment)



107 (no replenishment)



106 (replenish with a 3)



105 (replenish with a 4)



104 (replenish with a 5)



103 (replenish with a 6)

Bowie, Bonham


102 (replenish with a 8)



101 (replenish with a 9)



100 (no replenishment)



99 (no replenishment)



98 (no replenishment)



97 (no replenishment)



96 (no replenishment)



95 (no replenishment)



94 (no replenishment)



93 (no replenishment)



92 (no replenishment)



91 (no replenishment)



90 (no replenishment)



89 (no replenishment)



88 (no replenishment)



87 (no replenishment)



86 (no replenishment)



85 (no replenishment)



84 (no replenishment)



83 (no replenishment)



82 (no replenishment)



81 (replenish with a 3)


-S-P-R-I-N-T- -F-I-N-I-S-H- -L-I-N-E-

80 (no replenishment)



79 (no replenishment)



78 (no replenishment)



77 (no replenishment)



76 (replenish with a 3)

Yorick, Death


Addresses of the Participants - Their Team and Their Cards

TEAM 1 (Rick Desper): rick_desper of (51 points)

Team Name: The Turtle Moves; Captained by Cut-My-Own-Throat Dibbler

A: Rincewind the Wizzard

6 3 6 6 (8)


B: Granny Weatherwax



C: Captain Carrot



D: Death

3 3 3 (3)

(Rincewind with the Luggage, Granny on Her Broom, Carrot of the City Watch, and Death is just DEATH!)

Total Replenishments: 12+58+18+15+33+33+18+28+19+31+16+42+35+16+15+9 = 398

TEAM 2 (Tom Howell): off-the-shelf of (25 points)

Team Name: Never Ending Worry Source; Manager: Rumour; Team Captain: Ye Olde Manager

A: Water



B: Kyoto

3 3 3 (7)


C: Mideast

10 7 3 (11)


D: Drugs

10 9 5 (11)

Total Replenishments: 12+35+37+44+30+22+16+30+24+23+18+27+43+50+22+11 = 444

TEAM 3 ((David Partridge): rebhuhn of (0 points)

Team Name: Famous Four

A: Krstajic

4 5 4 3 (17)


B: Vidic

3 8 3 (6)


C: Gavrancic

3 3 3 (3)


D: Dragutinovic

4 3 4 (4)

Total Replenishments: 12+35+40+28+13+18+16+28+20+29+14+56+14+14+19+13 = 369

TEAM 4 (Brendan Whyte): obiwonfive of (9 points)

Team Name: The Reverse Alphabeticists

A: Zorro

4 3 3 3 (11)


B: Yorick

3 3 3 (3)


C: Xavier

5 3 3 (11)


D: Wally

3 3 9 (3)

Total Replenishments: 12+26+24+28+28+38+17+18+16+19+15+31+20+30+12+18 = 352

TEAM 5 (Alexander Woo): aswoo of (42 points)

Team Name: Just Ordinary; Manager: Credo

A: Agnus

7 6 7 3 (11)


B: Sanctus

4 4 5 (3)


C: Kyrie



D: Gloria


Total Replenishments: 12+44+22+17+22+42+28+25+27+26+17+24+45+17+8 = 376

TEAM 6 (Andy York): wandrew88 of (17 points)

Team Name: Alamo

A: Crockett

4 3 4 3 (10)


B: Travis

3 3 8 (4)


C: Bowie

3 3 6 (5)


D: Bonham

3 3 6 (5)

Total Replenishments: 12+12+12+60+20+22+21+19+16+38+17+55+18+13+23 = 358

Game Notes:


1) The rules are on the TAP website in the Tinamou section. Ask if you have any questions. Up above in parentheses is the card you played to get to where you are in the field. The replenishment card is the last card in your list. Be careful to note that the card you played (the one in parentheses) is not available for you, for next turn. Just for fun, I'm going to keep track of total replenishment, by turn, which is a rough measure of how the teams are doing. Of course, it is lining up to get across the sprint and final lines in the right places that really counts.


2) I think it remains WAY cool that Death and Yorick are paired at the back of the pack. Ah, we knew them well. The finish is approaching, can Death and Yorick get over the second sprint line before the race is over? I think the answer is no... it appears that the last three scoring riders can score next time. Feel free to send in endgame statements or press if you want to make any. Also signal to me if you'd like to play again, I'd like to keep running Breaking Away if there is interest. Tom Howell easily wins the replenishment battle, but looks like he will finish third in points, so Rick and Alex were more efficient.



Well, so much for that political statement, now it seems like Newt vs. Mitt is going to go on for a very long time. Each day it does go on increases the two key factors promoting Obama's re-election... fewer chances and time for a number of serious third party candidates to emerge (they all have to wait until the Republicans decide who they nominate) and less time for the Republican to try to redefine himself more moderately for the general election (though perhaps only Mitt really has his plan to do that - can anyone see another "flip flop" on health care?).

Aberration V (cn14)

by Rod Walker and Nicholas Fitzpatrick


The Aberration variant of diplomacy follows the most of the rules as standard diplomacy with a modified map. The idea behind the game was to have powers which history had basically passed by. Each of the 9 great powers is a nation which might have become a great power in the modern period if history had gone a little differently than it did.

The judge version was designed by Nicholas Fitzpatrick, based very heavily on Rod Walker's Aberration III (ca01).


1) Except as noted below, the standard rules of play for Diplomacy on the judge apply.

2) There are 9 great powers. The Sicilian player must use the letter "C" rather than "S" when signing on since "S" is reserved for Spain, and the Byzantine player must use "Z" rather than "B" as "B" is reserved for "Burgundy". The starting units are as follows:


A Dijon
A Brussels
F Hague

A Rome
F Naples
F Palermo

A Alcluyd
F Dublin
F Edinburgh


A Budapest
A Szeged
F Zara

A Damascus
A Jerusalem
F Cairo

A Warsaw
A Riga
F Gdansk


A Toledo
F Santander
F Valencia

A Kiev
A Odessa
F Yalta

A Athens
F Constantinople
F Smyrna


3) A player may build on any supply center he/she owns which is vacant as long as he/she still own at least one of his/her original centers.

4) Six provinces have interior waterways, inland canals, or bordering canals. Each of these provinces operates exactly as does Kiel, Constantinople or Denmark in the regular game. They are: Cairo, Constantinople, Denmark, Holstein, Sinai, and Taurida. The Suez canal separates the provinces of Sinai and Cairo; units can pass from Sinai to Cairo. So in one turn the moves F Delta Sea-Sinai and F Red Sea-Cairo would both succeed.

5) The Caspian Sea, Crete, Iceland, Corsica and any other unnamed space is not passable.

6) There are 52 supply centers. The victory criterion is possession of 27 supply centers at the end of any Fall retreat.

7) The game begins in 1901.

Province Abbreviations

All province are abbreviated by the first three letters of the province, except the following:

ebs East Black Sea
ems Eastern Mediterranean Sea
gob Gulf of Bothnia
gol Gulf of Lyon
pal Palermo
plm Palma Sea
nao North Atlantic Ocean
nor Norway
nmk Norromark
nth North Sea
nwg Norwegian Sea
tyr Tyrol
tys Tyrrhenian Sea
wbs West Black Sea
wms Western Mediterranean Sea



Here are
some brief suggestions to what may have happened to these powers such that they achieved greatness, while those that we know so well didn't.



The final confrontation between the civilization of the Seine and the Saone was no sure thing for the Parisian monarch. In this instance the victor was the Burgundian dynastic state, stretching from the Rhone to the North Sea.



This empire might have survived had the Turks failed to make a landing in Europe. The population of western Asia Minor was still basically Greek in the 1400s. Some strong emperors could have given the Greek state a new lease on life.



She was a budding great power until the Turkish invasions. A strong Byzantium would have prevented that and Hungary, not Austria, could have become the great Danubian power.



If Irish missionary activity had been followed by political action on behalf of their fellow Celts, the Anglo-Norman imperium at London might have been still-born. All the Irish needed was some real unity, which the almost achieved on occasion.



This could be a continuation of the ancient dynastic state under descendants of the Maccabees, or the Herods. More likely, however, it would be representative of the final victory of the Crusaders in the Middle East. It might therefore be called the "Kingdom of Jerusalem"



The Poles had many opportunities to overwhelm both the Russian and the eastern Germans. We must here assume that one opportunity finally worked.



This island once had an excellent chance of gaining control of most of Italy under a powerful and aggressive Norman dynasty. These rulers died out, and Sicily became the pawn of others. Here we assume that the Norman dynasty did not die out.



They could be a Christian Spain which somehow remained powerful despite a long succession of cretinous monarchs. Perhaps they were spared the third-rate Hapsburgs and Bourbons which were thrust upon them. OR this is a Muslim Spain, which case we should refer to it as the "Caliphate of Toledo" (a change of capital from Cordova).



The original Russian state was centered at Kiev, and we suppose here that this southern center remained dominant rather than losing out to the northern centers at Vladimir and Moscow. These people would, however, continue to call their land "Russia" or something like it.






Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Mark Firth, John Biehl, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Geoff Kemp, need 2 more to fill.  Sign up now!

Youngstown IV (Gray Press): The classic 10-player variant, which seems to have fallen through the cracks lately.  Jack McHugh is going to write an article on it for Diplomacy World, but he wants to play again first, so sign up and help out!  Signed up: Jack McHugh, Brad Wilson, Geoff Kemp, Martin Burgdorf, Don Williams, Marc Ellinger, need 4 more.  Sign up now!!! Just four more!!

Balkan Wars VI (Unknown Press Level): To be Guest GM’d by Brad Wilson: Signed up: Doug Kent (that’s me folks), Jack McHugh, Lance Anderson, needs 3 more.  Contact Brad to sign up at bwdolphin146 “of”  Sign up now!!!  HURRY!!!

Narnian Wars (Gray Press): A variant based on the C.S. Lewis world of Narnia.  I ran this once or twice in Maniac’s Paradise.  Rules and map contained in ES #51.  I’ve added this back to the openings list by request as I only left it there for two issues last time.   Signed up: Martin Burgdorf, needs 7 more to fill.

Aberration V (Gray Press): A nine-player variant with an expanded and altered European map.  Rod Walker’s design modified by Nicholas Fitzpatrick.  Map and rules appear in this issue.   Signed up: None, needs 9 to fill.

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant.  Rules are in ES #47.  Join in at any time!

By Almost Popular Demand: Underway, join anytime.

Lifeboat: Everybody plays, whether you actually do anything or not. 

Movie Photo Contest: 10 Rounds, with a prize to the winner.  Join anytime!

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?: Rules in ES #58.  Send in your guess!  Join anytime!

Kremlin: House rules in ES #59.  I’d like to get five players for this, any takers?  Jack McHugh and Jim Burgess signed up, need at least 2 more.

Standby List: HELP!  I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill.  When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it.  If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch.  If you have specific game requests please let me know.




Eternal Sunshine Game Section



Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, F 16

Austria (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” Retreat F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Brest..

 A Belgium U, F Brest - English Channel (*Fails*), A Budapest - Rumania (*Bounce*), A Burgundy U,

 A Denmark U, A Gascony U, A Holland U, A Kiel U, A Norway Hold, A Paris U, A Picardy U, A Ruhr U,

 A Sweden Supports A Norway, A Venice U, A Vienna - Trieste.

England (Kevin Tighetigheman “of”  NMR!  A Clyde U, F English Channel U,

 F North Atlantic Ocean Hold (*Dislodged*, can retreat to Liverpool or Norwegian Sea or OTB), A Yorkshire U.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” F Greece Hold, F Gulf of Lyon – Marseilles,

 F Irish Sea Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - North Atlantic Ocean, A Livonia Supports A St Petersburg,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - North Atlantic Ocean, F Portugal - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Rome Hold,

 A Sevastopol - Rumania (*Bounce*), F Spain(sc) Supports F Portugal - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

 A St Petersburg Supports A Norway.


A/W 16 and Spring 1917 Deadline is February 28th at 7:00am my time

Would Andy York please standby for England?


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Belgium, Berlin, Brest, Budapest, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich,

                        Norway, Paris, Rumania, Serbia, Sweden, Trieste, Venice, Vienna=16, Build 1

England:          Edinburgh, Liverpool, London=3, Even or Remove 1

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Marseilles, Moscow, Naples, Portugal, Rome,

                        Sevastopol, Smyrna, Spain, St Petersburg, Tunis, Warsaw=15, Build 5 (Room for 3)




TURKEY to ENGLAND: Don't worry, we are coming, another "no win" removal for you...


A/H to England: Thy will be done, amen.



 “Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse


Billy Ray Valentine: Yeah, sure.


Duke of York: Holds pat.


Smaug the Dragon: Boiling his bottom under a silly person.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Crowns and 500 Pounds.  Buys 703 Piastres.


Baron Wuffet: Stuck in quicksand.


Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 Piastres.  Buys 548 Crowns.


VAIONT Enterprises: No changes.


Insider Trading LLC: In hiding.


Bourse Master: Jack of all trades, master of none.


Next Bourse Deadline is February 27th at 7:00pm my time




WNE to DY: Buy a Pound and sink...


Duke of York to Wooden Nickel Enterprises: I laugh at your churning, you soil yourself in market manipulation.


Duke of York to Rothschild: I would accuse you of the same thing, but you're just trying to give up on the Brits, that makes sense.


Rothschild => York: As VAIONT is as lazy as you are, it seems unlikely that anyone will catch you. Congratulations to your great market manipulations.




VAIONT Enterprises to DUKE OF YORK:  You won’t be sitting so flush when Austria stabs turkey for the solo.


Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, F 14

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” F Venice - Adriatic Sea (*Bounce*).

England (Fred Wiedemeyerwiedem “of” F Apulia - Adriatic Sea (*Bounce*),

 A Gascony – Paris, F Gulf of Lyon - Tyrrhenian Sea, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Western Mediterranean,

 F Naples - Ionian Sea (*Fails*), A Norway - St Petersburg, F Norwegian Sea Hold, A Portugal – Spain,

 A St Petersburg – Moscow, F Tunis Supports F Naples - Ionian Sea.

France (Hank Almealmehj “of” No units.

Germany (Harley Jordanharleyj “of” Retreat A Galicia - Silesia.. F Baltic Sea – Denmark,

 A Budapest - Rumania (*Fails*), F Gulf of Bothnia – Sweden, F Holland Hold,

 A Livonia Supports A St Petersburg – Moscow, A Prussia – Berlin, A Rome Hold,

 A Silesia Supports A Vienna – Galicia, A Spain – Marseilles, A Trieste – Albania, A Tyrolia – Trieste,

 A Vienna – Galicia, A Warsaw Supports A St Petersburg - Moscow.

Russia (John Biehljerbil “of” F Adriatic Sea Supports F Ionian Sea (*Cut*),

 A Bulgaria Supports A Rumania – Serbia, F Eastern Mediterranean Supports F Ionian Sea, A Galicia – Rumania,

 A Greece Supports A Rumania – Serbia, F Ionian Sea Hold, A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Dislodged*, retreat to

 Ukraine or OTB), A Rumania – Serbia, A Sevastopol Supports A Galicia - Rumania.


W 14/S 15 Deadline is February 28th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Venice, Vienna=2, Build 1

England:          Belgium, Brest, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Moscow, Naples,

Norway, Paris, Spain, St Petersburg, Tunis=12, Build 2

France:            Portugal=1, Cannot Build

Germany:         Berlin, Budapest, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Rome,

                        Sweden, Trieste, Warsaw=11, Remove 2

Russia:             Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Rumania, Serbia,

Sevastopol, Smyrna=8, Even or Remove 1






Ghost of Turkey to Don and Hank: Welcome, I think.... allow me to raise a glass to you both: "To good friends, fun negotiations, and grace in defeat; I wish I could say the same of those who remain."


Ghost of Turkey to GM: Have we heard anything from John, he still hasn't answered my interview questions.


GM – Ghost of Turkey: Aside from Dagon showing up here, nothing.


From london: The french shall survive longer than the Italians.  And any Turkish ghost too!!


Black Press Gunboat, “Scream” 2010Brb32, W 07/S 08

England: F Edinburgh - North Sea (*Bounce*), A Yorkshire - London.

France: Remove F North Africa.. A Brest - Paris (*Fails*), A Holland – Belgium, F Marseilles - Gulf of Lyon,

 A Ruhr Supports A Holland - Belgium (*Cut*), F Tunis - Tyrrhenian Sea,

 A Venice Supports F Adriatic Sea - Trieste (*Void*).

Germany: F Belgium – Picardy, A Paris Supports F Belgium - Picardy (*Cut*), F Portugal - Spain(nc).

Russia: Retreat A Serbia - Albania..Build F Sevastopol.. A Albania – Serbia, A Budapest Supports A Trieste,

 A Denmark – Kiel, A Galicia Supports A Ukraine – Rumania, F Helgoland Bight Supports A Kiel – Holland,

 A Kiel – Holland, A Moscow Supports F Sevastopol, A Munich - Ruhr (*Fails*), A Norway Hold,

 F Rumania - Black Sea, F Sevastopol Supports F Rumania - Black Sea, F Skagerrak - North Sea (*Bounce*),

 A Trieste Supports A Albania – Serbia, A Ukraine - Rumania.

Turkey: F Tunis no retreat received (*Disbanded*).. F Adriatic Sea Supports A Serbia – Trieste,

 A Armenia Supports F Rumania - Sevastopol (*Void*), F Black Sea - Bulgaria(ec) (*Dislodged*, retreat to

 Constantinople or Ankara or OTB), A Bulgaria - Serbia (*Fails*), A Greece – Albania, F Rome Hold,

 A Serbia - Trieste (*Dislodged*, retreat to Greece or OTB), F Tyrrhenian Sea - Ionian Sea.


F 08 deadline is February 28th at 7:00am my time

Now Proposed – Concession to Russia.  Please vote, NVR=No.




Turkey to France – Hold fire in the Med or it’s a certain solo.


France-Germany: You are a moron.


France-Turkey: We'll see if you are.



Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, F 06

Austria (Paul Milewskipaul.milewski “of” A Budapest - Trieste (*Bounce*),

 A Galicia - Warsaw (*Bounce*), A Rumania Supports A Sevastopol, A Serbia - Trieste (*Bounce*),

 A Sevastopol Supports A Rumania, A Ukraine - Warsaw (*Bounce*).

England (Kevin Tighetigheman “of” NMR! F Baltic Sea Hold, F Helgoland Bight Hold,

 F Kiel Hold, F North Sea Hold, F Norway Hold, A Prussia Hold, F St Petersburg(nc) Hold.

France (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” Retreat F Ionian Sea - Apulia.. F Apulia – Naples,

 A Belgium Supports A Paris - Burgundy (*Disbanded*), A Paris – Burgundy, A Picardy Supports A Belgium,

 A Piedmont - Venice (*Fails*), F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports F Apulia – Naples, A Venice - Rome (*Bounce*).

Germany (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” Retreat A Belgium - Ruhr.. A Burgundy – Belgium,

 A Holland Supports A Burgundy – Belgium, A Munich - Kiel (*Fails*), A Ruhr Supports A Burgundy - Belgium.

Italy (Hank Almealmehj “of” F Naples - Rome (*Disbanded*),

 F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc).

Russia (Jack McHugh jwmchughjr “of” F Armenia - Ankara (*Bounce*).

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of” F Black Sea - Ankara (*Bounce*),

 A Bulgaria Supports F Greece, F Eastern Mediterranean - Ionian Sea,

 F Greece Supports F Eastern Mediterranean - Ionian Sea, F Ionian Sea - Tunis.


W 06/S 07 Deadline is February 28th at 7:00am my time

Would Jim Burgess please standby for England?


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Moscow, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Trieste, Vienna, Warsaw=8, Build 2

England:          Denmark, Edinburgh, Kiel, Liverpool, London, Norway, St Petersburg, Sweden=8, Build 1

France:            Brest, Marseilles, Naples, Paris, Portugal, Venice=6, Even

Germany:         Belgium, Berlin, Holland, Munich=4, Even

Italy:                Rome, Spain=2, Build 1

Russia:             None=0, OUT!!

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Smyrna, Tunis=6, Build 1




france to turkey;  why cant we be freinds why cant we be freinds why cant we be freinds why cant we be freinds...


Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, W 06/S 07

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations.  All press submitted will be printed.

Austria (Tom Howell): Retreat A Rome – Apulia..Build A Trieste.. A Apulia – Naples,

 A Berlin Supports A Munich, A Greece Supports A Trieste – Albania, F Ionian Sea Supports A Apulia – Naples,

 A Munich Supports A Berlin, A Rumania – Bulgaria, A Trieste – Albania, A Tyrolia Supports A Munich,

 A Venice - Rome.

England (Rick Desper): Build F Liverpool, F Edinburgh.. F Brest Hold, F Edinburgh – Clyde,

 F Liverpool - Irish Sea, A London – Belgium, F North Sea Convoys A London – Belgium, F Norway – Skagerrak,

 F St Petersburg(nc) - Norway.

France (Dave McCrumb): A Burgundy Hold, F Gascony - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc),

 A Holland Hold, A Kiel Hold, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - North Atlantic Ocean, A Ruhr Hold.

Italy (Brad Wilson): F Albania - Adriatic Sea, F Constantinople - Black Sea (*Dislodged*, retreat to

 Aegean Sea or OTB), F Rome – Tuscany, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean.

Russia (John Biehl): A Armenia – Sevastopol, F Denmark – Sweden, A Livonia - St Petersburg,

 A Moscow Supports A Livonia - St Petersburg.

Turkey (Jack McHugh): F Ankara – Constantinople, F Black Sea Supports F Ankara – Constantinople,

 F Smyrna Supports F Ankara - Constantinople.


F 07 Deadline is February 28th at 7:00am my time




English Monstrosity to Germany: How you propose we do that?


ITALY MUST WIN to LOSERS: What the heck are you all up to?  D