Eternal Sunshine #63

April 2012

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

Email: diplomacyworld@yahoo.com or dougray30@yahoo.com

On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at http://www.diplomacyworld.net.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/ to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata. We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/EternalSunshDip, and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Quote Of The Month – “How can you watch this crap? I’m fucking crawling out of my skin!” (Clementine in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)

Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine that like the Borg (or whatever you call it; I’ve never watched anything but the original Star Trek) has assimilated it’s former master zine back inside itself as a subzine, which then means the subzones of The Abyssinian Prince become sub-subzines of this zine. This is, of course, different than the columns and subzones you find in Eternal Sunshine. I’d call Sack McHugh’s column a subzine of ES because it numbers itself and has run at least one of its own games. The rest, including the material from Paul Milewski, Andy York, Phil Murphy, or Richard Walkerdine, are not necessarily every month and don’t run games, so they I classify as columns.

Speaking of which, did you know that YOU could write a column or do a subzine in Eternal Sunshine too? You can write about anything you want, run a game or don’t run a game…monthly or occasionally…music, sports, politics, life, alcohol, movies, books, television, fashion, coffee, animals, your rock collection, various disgusting physical ailments; the choices are endless! I still think people like Brad Wilson, Paul Kenny, Jamie McQuinn, Tom Howell (until o-t-s returns), and so many others owe it to the readers of Eternal Sunshine to write stuff. So send them a barrage of emails until they agree! Or else write something yourself.

…or, sign up for one of the game openings. A new game of By Popular Demand is beginning this issue, and it will be the normal version again. There’s also Diplomacy, variants, Kendo Nagasaki (and a new game of that will start when this one ends), Kremlin…I have a few other things I may add, but since the signup rate is soooo freaking low lately, not sure I will bother. If games end and new ones do not start, ES will eventually fade away.

Meanwhile, in real life news, the online Memoir Writing class is going well. I can see areas I need to work on, especially my dialogue. I’ve gotten useful comments from ym classmates and my teacher. Still, I see the idea of actually being published a long-shot. That sorta sucks, because my goal is to get all three books published one day (childhood, my first marriage, and prison). And I don’t know if that will ever happen. At least when I read my writing, the flaws I see are generally correctable ones. Instead, I’m left with the idea that no matter how well it is written, nobody is actually going to CARE about what I write. And that is just another hurdle to deal with before I can reach the stage of trying to get an editor or publisher to look at my material.

Oh well, that’s life.

Heather, on the other hand, has herself a new toy. The plan has always been that when my 2002 Hyundai is no longer running, or it’s running but needs more work than it is logical to do, I’d start driving HER Hyundai (which after 2 years has 10,000 miles on it) and she’d get something else. I put a ton more miles on a car than she does, since she doesn’t drive as often and certainly not as far. Lately she’s developed a fascination with older cars, especially pre 1960 but some 1960-era vehicles too. The Bel-Air is one of her favorites, but she loves others too (there was a sweet Pontiac Chieftan she wanted to go see here in Dallas, but we don’t have the money for that).

Aside from how pricey some of these cars are, we do not have a garage. Instead we just have a covered carport, so I know Heather wouldn’t feel all that comfortable with a 100% perfect 50-year-old marvel of machinery sitting out in the open. So these are all just dream cars for her. Despite that, she started watching eBay and local classic car dealer websites for ones she liked. I bid on a bunch of them, but the few that do sell (they don’t often reach the reserve price) go for much higher than my lowball bids.

One day last week, Heather sent me a link to a 1965 Ford Falcon (could be a Futura, or a Spring) being sold on eBay by an elderly gentleman in San Antonio. He clearly needed to get rid of it, both because he wanted the money and because he wasn’t able to work on the car much anymore…it was just sitting there. It was in terrific shape and he’d done a lot of work on it, putting over $20,000 into it since he’d gotten it four years earlier. And the rebuilt engine only had about 500 miles on it. At this point, he needed to get whatever he could for it. He’d started looking for about $12,000 weeks earlier, and relisted it a few times lowering the reserve each attempt. Now it was closing in 12 hours and the high bid was only $2,000 or so, with no reserve left. He was dumping it.

Heather was semi-frantic. This looked like a perfect car for her…low price, lots of work done to it, still needs a few things but looked terrific and runs great. I bid about $2,500 and remained the high bidder until close to the end, when somebody jumped me. But, Heather REALLY wanted this car, and the price was still less than ¼ of what he’d put into it, so…

We are now the proud owners of this car. Heather (who claims this is HER car) has christened her Fiona (Fiona Falcon in full). It’s got some real power, and the dual exhaust is LOUD. The interior is terrific, the exterior really great but with a few minor issues. That’s actually good, because it means Heather doesn’t have to panic about it not being pristine. Two things the car IS missing are air conditioning and power steering. Heather was having a real hard time driving it around the block; she isn’t used to a car without power steering. But A/C is more important to such a delicate creature, as you can imagine. The previous owner said there isn’t enough room to install both, so if she has to choose between one or the other it’s gonna be the air conditioning which wins. We can’t afford to put much into it right now, but that will be the first thing we do.

Anybody with experience owning classic cars like this, feel free to send in tips and suggestions! That’s all for this month…see you in May!

Playlist: The Cars (Deluxe Edition) – The Cars; Can’t Look Away – Trevor Rabin; the Greatest Hits [Expanded] – Cheap Trick; The John Lennon Collection – John Lennon.

Hypothetical of the Month

Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1 (from me) – You must choose between becoming immediately blind, deaf, or mute for the remainder of your life. Which one, and why? #2 (off the internet) - You are leading 100 people in a survivalist situation, when suddenly your lives are in danger and you must choose between two courses of action. One would cause 10 of the people to die and everyone else would live, the other would have a 70% chance of saving everyone but were it to fail then everyone would die. Which would you choose?

Melinda Holley - #1 – (Geez! What a choice!) Actually, for me it's simple. I'd be mute. I can learn sign language. To not be able read (and, yes, I know I could learn braille but few books are written in braille that are in the genre that I read) or listen to music would be greatly devastating to me.

#2 - I'd go with the 90% survival rate (option #1). If my goal is to get as many people to safety as possible, a 70% success rate just isn't going to cut it.

Dick Martin - #1 - mute. it's the most easily worked around. i know plenty of people who seem deaf but not mute.

#2 - the ten would have to die, sorry. unless one of them would be me, in which case i'll go with the 70%!

Don Del Grande - #1 - This is almost a no-brainer; mute. Being blind or deaf means I would be less able to experience things, and to gain knowledge. On the other hand, being mute just means I am less able to express myself - but that's one of the reasons computer keyboards were invented, right?

#2 - The first thing I would do is see if ten people were willing to sacrifice themselves. If there were, and there was no real objection to that, then I would choose the "90 live" solution. (I for one would have a hard time accepting anybody's offer to sacrifice him/herself, but if

the other 89 see it the other way, I'm not about to overrule them.) Assuming this isn't an option, my choice is the "all or nothing" one; I am not about to have anybody decide, even by drawing lots, that they are sentenced

to death.

Andy York - #1 - Probably mute (and some folks would be very happy to hear that!). I much prefer listening and reading (input) than talking. Also, anything I could say can easily be related by typing (and probably will be better for the additional delay (read mental editing) in getting the words out)

#2 - Sorry, can't give an answer as it is based on a "point in time" judgment without all of the information that realistically would/could be available. For instance, what are the longer term survivability conditions for a group of 90 versus 100 folks (food stocks, shelter, medical needs, "dangerous" conditions, estimated length of time until rescue, etc.). Additionally, I don't know why "I" am the person making the decision (I'm not generally a despot), so input from others (be it a democratic vote from everyone or a consensus decision from an empowered leadership group) would influence the final choice.

Dave McCrumb - #1 – No question. Mute. There are many ways to communicate. Even Stephen Hawking can communicate. I could do without hearing but that is a safety issue.

#2 – Tough question. I don’t know that I can honestly answer it as stated. My first thought was to give up the 10 but then I realized I don’t know the situation. If it truly is a dice roll then giving up 10 is the right answer. If it is a real world situation, there are always ways to increase your odds so I would go with trying to get everyone thru.

Andy Lischett - #1 - No, I am too superstitious to answer this one.

#2 - I'd have to go with the 70% answer.

Tom Howell - #1 - IF I must (see prior answers about that), mute. I talk little enough as is.

#2 - Lessee: 90 percent survive or on averages, seventy percent survive? Go with the 90.

Richard Walkerdine - #1 - I choose mute as blind I cannot use the internet or access Doug’s silly zine and if deaf I can’t hear Claire shouting at me.

#2 - The 10 have to die – the odds for us all are far better that way.

John Biehl - #1 - I would become mute. Why? I would still have sight and hearing. Being mute can, relatively easily, be overcome. Besides, saying nothing will likely cause others to believe you wiser (than you actually are).

#2 - I would, as leader, try to save everyone so I would take the 70% odds. The odds are still in your favor and it would be extremely difficult to choose the ten who would otherwise have to die.

Jack McHugh - #1 - Mute--I think is the easiest to overcome.

#2 - I choose the second choice (70%) since I wouldn't want to have to choose who lives and who dies.

Per Westling - #1 - I would choose becoming mute. Would not like to lose music and reading/seeing is probably most important sense in today’s world. But I would have little problems if I were to stay silent.

#2 - As I am being an optimist I would go for saving everyone. Don’t know if I would have the guts to send people to sure death.

Paraic Reddington - #1 - Without a doubt deaf. Although this would likely also have a negative effect on subsequent speech I think this is the way to go. This is based on 2 things, 1) the quality and volume of what passes for ‘music’ these days 2) The sound that teenagers make as they bastardize the English language. When hearing them like, you know, talk all like SO loud and stuff – it makes me want to insert pencils into my ears, erasers first in a vain attempt to erase the noise from my brain. Yes…definitely deaf.

#2 - Aw I was hoping you would give me a chance to eat one of the fat ones! I suppose you have to allow chance to decide and go with the 70% shot. At least that way you can’t be blamed for what happens – you either all survive (and you’re a hero) or you all die and nobody ever finds the bodies. Muhahahahaaaaaaa.

Richard Weiss - #1 - I'd choose deaf. I love vision too much. I've never heard sounds in my head such as notes I imagine. I could live and communicate without hearing much more easily than the others. Although, if one is deaf, being mute might be reasonable.

#2 - I'm not in the situation and can't imagine being in such a situation. My guess is that, if I knew the exact situation and two potential outcomes, I'd probably go for the sure 90 and hoping beyond hope that I could save the other 10 because the fortune teller was wrong. If I were one of the 10 that would die, I think I would still choose that route.

Heather Taylor - #1 – Deaf, because I like peace and quiet so much it might actually be a blessing. Plus I wouldn’t have to listen to the phone, the world, or Doug.

#2 –I’ll take the sure thing and go with the 90%. That’s just me. Besides, I probably don’t like some of that 10%.

For Next Month (For the time being, I am usually selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises). Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: #1 – Waiting at a bus stop in a downpour, you see a blind man attempting to cross the street. You are in a rush and see you bus coming. Do you offer to help? #2 – Someone extends his friendship but you aren’t interested. Later you learn that he is a legal wizard. You need free advice desperately and don’t know anyone else. Do you call him?

The Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest

Time once again for the annual Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest. The contest is simple: you get one point for each correct division winner, and one point for correctly selecting the wild card teams (one per league). Then you get two points for each team you correctly choose as league champion (meaning they play in the World Series), and three points for correctly picking the World Series winner. We’re not picking winners for individual playoff games…just the division winners, wild card teams, and who goes to the World Series. And remember, like all Eternal Sunshine contests, there will actually be a REAL PRIZE for the winner! Here are the entries received:

100 Movies to See Before You Die

Late movie additions or comments….but first, a correction: The Princess Pride was selected four times, not three (it was listed as 3 – The Princess Bride and 1 – Princess Bride).

Hugh Polley: Movies group rated to low in my opinion:

5 The African Queen - Stars alone make this a 10

4 Das Boot - Best Sub movie ever made

4 Independence Day - Best Pop Corn Movie ever

4 The Hunt for Red October - Second Best Pop Corn Movie

3 True Grit - Best John Wayne PoP Corn Movie

2 Papillon - No better Prison movie out there

2 It's a Mad Mad Mad World - Love those old cars!

2 Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan - Best Star trek ever

1 Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein - No better slap stick from 50's

1 Capricon One - Fostered 'Did they go to Moon?' mania and is good PoP Corn

1 Diamonds are Forever - My favourite bond Movie

1 The Dirty Dozen - Great WW2 Movie, First hang or help Plot

1 Uncle Buck - Best of John Candy, with serious under currents

Just remember Hugh, those were not ratings, but simply how many times each movie was listed by one of the participants.

Dick Martin:

The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews

Silent House – As I’ve mentioned before, I have enjoyed all the Paranormal Activity films, and I loved Blair Witch Project when it first came out (the on-line backstory helped make it something very new and unusual). So I was hoping for another new experience when I read review of Silent House. Back in 1995 we had Johnny Depp in “Nick of Time,” where the movie was meant to take place in real time (90 minutes on screen = 90 minutes in the story). Now we have Silent House, which is meant to appear that the entire film was made in one cut, the camera never leaving the area of Sarah (Elizabeth Olsen, younger sister of the Olsen twins). In fact, it was filmed in 10-minute segments with the edits hidden well so it appears to be all one cut, but the effect is the same: you quickly realize you’ll be with Sarah throughout the film, and that means the tension can’t be lessened by cutting away to other locations or back-story characters.

I suppose the gimmick works to some degree, but the “surprise” twist of the movie was obvious to me early on, and some of the camerawork made me a bit nauseas because of the jumping and bouncing around. Regardless, the film is nothing but typical time-killing modern horror/suspense fare. Sarah, her Dad (Adam Trese), and her Uncle (Eric Sheffer Stevens) are repairing their old summer lake house and packing their belongings so they can sell it. All the windows are boarded up because vandals or squatters have broken them all. There is no power in the house except for what they’ve hooked up to generators or car batteries, no phone, and no cell signals. Get the picture?

Alone in the house with her Dad, Sarah hears a thump and a thud, and finds he no longer answers when she calls. Other noises emanate from parts of the house, and Sarah sees glimpses of a man. Is he alone? What has this man done to her father? Where is the key to the front door? Is he real, imaginary, or an apparition? Sarah will spend the rest of the movie running around the house (including the 3^rd floor and the basement), screaming, hiding, and trying to figure out what the heck is happening.

There is a little more to the plot than that, but some is simply allusion so I’m not going to mention anything. Besides, the preceding paragraph gives a generally accurate, if somewhat harsh, representation. Like a lot of lesser films, on DVD this will probably be a horrible bore. In a crowded theater it would be fun. Unfortunately for us, there were only about 10 people watching with us (despite it being opening weekend) so the collective suspense wasn’t there and almost everything fell flat. And what’s the deal with Dallas-area families going to see horror films and dragging along their infants and toddlers so they can avoid paying for a babysitter? Aside from how inappropriate horror movies are for younger viewers, nothing ruins a film better for the audience than some damn little kid babbling nonsense in any language from start to finish. If the film had been any good, I would have complained to the manager...but I don't think it would have been much better without the snot-nosed cretin so I decided we should leave and write off the cost of the tickets as a bad investment.

Let the theater near you where Silent House is playing remain silent; don’t go there.

Seen on DVD – Severance (D, pointless, NOT scary in the slightest, and a plot written in the bathroom. THIS is what the UK spends its lottery funds on?). Beginners (B, a decent movie with fine acting and some wonderful dialogue).

Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column

Andy Lischett: By the way, my sister thanks you. She says I'm impossible to buy presents for, but at Christmas-time she asked Carol for suggestions and Carol said, "He just started playing this strange game and asking me how far Canberra is from Bloomsbury. Get him a globe."

[[Glad to hear I’m good for SOMETHING.]]

Don Del Grande: How overly protective is society supposed to be about high school kids? Every year, the organization that publishes the national high school basketball rules sends out a questionnaire intended for coaches and officials that lists proposed rules changes for the following year. One of them caught me by

surprise: "Should players be required to wear mouth protectors?" Yes, I said basketball, not football (where they have been required for decades).

[[Every child should wear a suit of armor in all sports, and be bubble wrapped.]]

Hank Alme: On last BAPD round: Jodie Foster: "Contact!" I totally forgot that one. I never in a million years would have thought "Silence" would not have been #1.

[[Well, when you’re playing By ALMOST Popular Demand often the #1 answer is not the obvious one.]]

Melinda Holley: 10 Top Reasons Women Are Frustrated By Men

#10 - Romance. Let's be real. How hard is it to whip out the old credit card and order flowers, candy, or even those silly Valentine bears from Vermont??!! And, yes, we see the fantasy romance on TV and movies and know that it's FANTASY! We DO expect better from you because we want our reality to be better than the fantasy. (Perhaps we're expecting a little too much intelligent thinking?)

#9 - Dancing. The real reason that men fear dancing is not because they don't know how to do it or are afraid of failing at it. You're afraid your beer-swilling buddies will call you names. Grow up. Who do you want in your bed? Us or them? (Do I even want an answer to that question??)

#8 - Time to Get Ready. Guys, women notice how you look at other women. We see the drool running out of your mouths when you look at pictures of Angelina Jolie. And while women know the difference between fantasy & reality, men generally don't. So we'll take as much time as we damn well please to get ready for those rare occasions where you take us to where we don't have to order dinner through a drive-through. And you'll damn well appreciate it.

#7 - Pul-leeze....I've seen guys cry when their team loses in the playoffs, when their Nascar driver hits the wall, and when there's no beer left in the 'fridge and they know their 'woman' won't run down to the local convenience store at 1:30 in the morning to get them more. Women cry for less obvious reasons so it's generally assumed we're 'hormonal' a great deal of the time.

#6 - Bad Drivers - Personally, I'm an equal-opportunity ranter at idiot drivers. It's not male vs female, it's your license plate. When I lived in West Virginia, Ohio drivers were the WORST while Kentucky drivers used three lanes in order to make a turn. Now that I live in Delaware, NJ drivers think they own the road and Pennsylvania drivers all think they're on the last lap at Talledega and the green flag just dropped.

#5 - Spending Money - I remember my father telling my mother that he could do the grocery shopping more cheaply and quickly. Mom handed him the list and told him to do it. My father never stepped his foot inside a grocery store again. The reason most businesses are in financial trouble is that women aren't in charge of the finances.

#4 - Understand Money - Any woman who allows her husband complete financial control and buries her head in the sand deserves what she gets...usually a visit from the IRS or the short end of a brutal divorce. The fact is women understand money much better than men. We have to figure out how to feed, clothe, and entertain a family of 2 adults and 2.3 children (plus any pets) on whatever money the husband isn't blowing on a new putter, bar tab, or the Motel 6.

#3 - Jealousy. Excuse me? Let a man see his 'woman' flirting with another man and Tarzan suddenly appears, beating his chest and howling about 'his woman'. No-no-no....equal opportunity. If there's no harm in the man flirting, there's no harm in the woman flirting. Just remember, the woman you're flirting with most likely has a boyfriend/husband who could be a lot bigger and meaner than you.

#2 - Plans. Sorry, I gotta go with the plans thing. Spent too many vacations spending nights at the Bates motel chain to EVER not plan a trip. Plus, my spare time is in very short supply so the 'spontaneity' thing just doesn't work. Besides, it's more a matter of respect. I respect that you have needs, desires, and demands on your time. Respect that in me and don't expect me to drop everything I'm doing just because you have a sudden itch to go somewhere and do something.

#1 - Talk. Would you prefer sign language or a written treatise? *smacking you on back of head* You learned to talk by the age of 2, I presume. You talk for hours (and hours) with your buddies endlessly discussing how your favorite team could do better if they'd just (feel free to fill in the blank space here). So we do not excuse you for 'fearing' to talk with us. The reason you have this 'fear' is that you know you're just so awful about hiding anything and you know we'll find out what you've been up to.

[[Don’t worry, I’ll print my how men frustrate women piece soon, these are all essays I wrote for guysexpolained.com which I never had time to update properly.]]

Mark Nelson: I've been very quiet recently... anyway, I thought I'd share with you (and your readership) some research that I found amusing...

[[So quiet that I didn’t send you the latest issue until this loc arrived.]]

James Gilligan, a clinical professor of psychiatry at New York University, analyzed different prison programs to find out which ones were the most effective at reducing recidivism. Examining US data he found that the most effective programs were those which enabled prisoners to gain a college degree - over a 25-year period, recidivism was zero.

What's funny? Well, when the Republican Governor of Massachusetts learnt of this research their response was to close this program down on the grounds that it might be encouraging people to commit crimes in order to receive free college education through the prison program!

Good one. Wish I knew the name of this Republican Governor. Perhaps one of your readers can name and shame.

(I learnt this through reading a review of Gilligan's recent book "Why Some Politicians Are More Dangerous than Others").

[[I would contest the results you quote. Recidivism is certainly much lower among inmates who receive some education during incarceration, with those achieving a Master’s Degree dropping as low as 1% in some studies (http://www.prisonpolicy.org/scans/research_brief__2.pdf is a nice compilation of data and studies). But there’s no zero recidivism in anything except the death penalty. And the elimination of Pell Grants in 1994, which was heavily supported by the public and politicians alike as part of a larger crime bill, was Federal in nature, no the state level. With such a tremendous misstatement of fact in Gilligan’s book – if you are quoting it correctly – I would suggest you treat everything else in that book with suspicion. I mean, the literacy rate among inmates is quite high to begin with; how do you expect such an inmate to earn a college degree during their incarceration?

During my time in the Federal system, everything (including education) was being slashed. If you wanted to take a college correspondence course and pay for it yourself, even then it was quite difficult. Books and materials had to come through the library system, and the librarians were never interested in the additional work. You also had to get them to make time to be a proctor during any exams, which was also difficult or impossible. Those inmates “forced” to take English as a second language or remedial education were almost always disinterested, and spent that time sleeping. The few who did try to better themselves were then able to gain some attention, but only to a point. Since the teachers and librarians had to be “guards” as well, any breakdown in security meant they’d be pulled away for days or weeks at a time.

Do I believe that access to lower and higher education in prison would be a positive thing? Absolutely. But nobody is going to pay for it. Not anymore. The nation is drowning in debt as it is. In fact, a new bill is proposing forgiveness of large chunks of student loans for the general population, and that bill won’t get anywhere either (the latest article on the bill, http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/saddled-with-college-debt-a-decade-later/2012/03/16/gIQAm3kHHS_print.html does a poor job of making the case for it, and merely leaves most people shaking their head at how personal responsibility continues to be thrown out the window.]]

Dane Maslen: Last issue I commented that North by Northwest had a major plot goof and promised a follow-up explanation this issue. Here it is.

We join the film with Thornhill on the train headed for Chicago in an effort to track down the real (though as it turns out non-existent) Kaplan. Vandamm, who believes Thornhill to be Kaplan, and his sidekick are also on the train. They have arranged for Eve Kendall, Vandamm's girlfriend, to help Thornhill evade the police and then lead him into a trap so that he can be killed. Baddies of course never kill a film's hero in the simple way (they're on the same train as him so could presumably arrange an 'accident'), but let's not quibble about that. No, let's take a close look at the plan they've hatched to lead him into the trap...

On arrival in Chicago Thornhill asks Eve to phone Kaplan for him and arrange a meeting. She agrees and springs the cunning trap. She doesn't make the phone call. Instead she tells Thornhill that Kaplan has agreed to meet him at some remote location and gives him details of the bus he is to take to get there. So, let's recap: the cunning plan is to lure Kaplan (remember that that's who Vandamm believes Thornhill to be) to his death by arranging a meeting for him with himself. Well, that should work!

Of course the plan does work because Thornhill is not Kaplan, but the baddies (or do I mean the scriptwriters?) are so stupid that they fail to realize that if Thornhill went to meet Kaplan, then he surely can't be Kaplan. Or maybe he was just playing along so that they would think he wasn't Kaplan? But why would he do that? He has no reason to believe that Eve is working with Vandamm, does he? Well, if he were indeed Kaplan, then he would know that she couldn't possibly have phoned Kaplan and hence would know that she was lying about having set up the meeting and must be working for Vandamm (another idiotic flaw in Vandamm's plan: having got the supposed Kaplan to trust Eve, let's get her to do something that will reveal her as a liar), in which case he would know that he would be walking into a trap and surely wouldn't go.

Sheer idiocy. I note from IMDB that a Peggy Robertson was the uncredited script supervisor. If I were responsible for such a script idiocy, I'd want to be uncredited too.

[[The film is famous for continuity gaffes, but I do not think yours is the largest. Eve knows he is not Kaplan because she works for the Feds, and she is simply doing what she needs to do in order to survive and stay on her main target.

A more glaring error which has always bothered me is the way the stooges first make the mistake that he is Kaplan. Thornhill calls the boy over and says nothing about the phone call, yet the boy never calls out for Mr. Kaplan again. Why would he stop paging him?]]

Dave McCrumb: Thank you for the prize (the original The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3). I’ll let you know when it has arrived. I have not seen it in many years but I remember most of it.

Did you do any analysis about the picks? There were 50 movies on my list where I was the only person to pick them. Another 25 movies had only 1 or 2 other people pick them with me. How many people submitted movies. Also, I know I could figure it out but how many movies were selected?

[[24 people submitted at least one movie (not including Dick Martin who just submitted a bunch). Of those, nine people had a full list of 100 (or more). 797 movies were listed, although that number is skewed slightly because a few films were grouped together by some. I’ve sent you a copy of the Excel spreadsheet, in case you want to play with it.]]

There were some surprises. The biggest was that 3 other people listed Harold and Maude. I hadn’t expected anybody else to even be aware of the movie. Alternatively, with the heavy scifi influence I anticipated Galaxy Quest rating higher than 4 people. I would say your readership has very diverse opinions regarding movies.

[[Certainly an eclectic bunch. Harold and Maude is quite popular with movie buffs, and you have to remember that many of the uninitiated heard of the film through There’s Something About Mary.]]

I finally watched The Taking of Pelham 123 last night. It had been a while since I had seen it. The ending was different than I remembered. For some reason I remembered the motorman getting away with it but he lost all the money due to a fire. Oh well, the imaginary and the real ending were both good and satisfying.

I have only glanced at the movie data you sent me but I have been thinking about the actors/actresses in the movies I selected. I have come to the conclusion that I will watch any movie which contains the following:

· Catherine Hepburn

· Cary Grant

· Jimmy Stewart

· Michael Caine

· Sandra Bullock (she is the hottest actress out there now)

· Sigourney Weaver

· Goldie Hawn

· Michael J Fox (huge loss as an actor – he motivates me with how he is handling his Parkinson’s)

I think Steve McQueen was wonderful in several movies such as The Great Escape and The Sand Pebbles, but over time I have realized he has only one character which he plays in all his roles. In those where it fits the character he is fantastic but in those that it doesn’t he sucks.

John Biehl: There are a lot of good movies on the final list. I must try and see any there that I have not seen (there must be some). The 'popular nod', surprise, went to the Star Wars franchise. Tied at #2 was another Sci-Fi flick 'Alien'. I figure a sure blockbuster bet would be a well written Sci-Fi Thriller. There are a good number of Sci-Fi classics that have yet to reach the big screen. Any suggestions? I suggest the Foundation Trilogy by Isaac Asimov - tho this could be a (duh) Trilogy.

[[As far as I’m concerned, Starship Troopers has yet to make it to the big screen.]]

Per Westling: I like to make a comment on something Flapjack wrote. "This country might have five or ten years left before it completely falls apart." The same day I read that I also read an article about Johan Galtung. One version of that can be found here: http://www.transcend.org/tms/2012/03/from-empire-to-global-fascism/

Galtung predicts the fall of the US Empire before 2020. I have also been a bit worried about the right shift tendencies of late in the US. Will we have a Christian fascistic regime in the US within short? This might be something to discuss in the letter column...

[[I can’t say what Jack meant, but to me this nation is collapsing based on its balance sheet. Hyperinflation seems like the only way the debt will ever be paid off. It’s just a question of when we reach the magical tipping point. As for fascism, there is no question that under the last three administrations the Federal government has done all it can to grab more power away from the states. The Obama administration in particular uses various offices (EPA, DHS, Commerce, Interior) to try and impose their will on the nation when it can’t get laws passed to do the same.]]

The Twisting Tale

This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words. If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up. We need more particpants! Email me at dougray30@yahoo.com if you’d like to participate!

WE NEED MORE PARTICIPANTS! ONLY MEANS YOU DO AN ENTRY EVERY 3 OR 4 MONTHS! IF WE DON’T GET MORE PARTICIPANTS, THIS WILL END SOON!

Chapter 11 by Paraic Reddington

No choice at all. It was time to meet the boss lady.

Joe silently led him upstairs and down a long dark corridor. The room at the end was the only one with light coming from under the door. Joe opened the door and beckoned him in. He stepped inside. Joe did not follow. He closed the door without saying a word.

The room was a small corner office, sparsely decorated, with a bureau, a leather chair, two large windows and a single pot plant that was filled with cigarette butts.

She was standing by the window, either staring at something outside or thinking intently and staring at nothing. She was tall and slim with a shock of long red hair that extended all the way to her lower back.

She turned to face him as he entered. She was not exactly what he would consider attractive but there was something about her that made it impossible for him to take his eyes off her. She had impenetrable black eyes like those of a snake. Or a shark. She was clearly not to be trifled with. He resisted the urge to check her out.

“Do sit down, won’t you?” she said with an English accent, gesturing to the leather chair.

“Thank you.” He replied, as he sat. The chair was impossibly stiff and uncomfortable. He thought that it was probably deliberate.

“I have to compliment you on your work” she said as she pulled a cigarette from a drawer and placed it in her mouth.

“You certainly have some skills, I’ll grant you that.” she continued, before lighting up, taking a deep drag and exhaling directly into his face.

“You don’t mind if I smoke do you?” she said, without ever taking her eyes from him.

She made him uncomfortable, but he was a professional and he’d met her kind before. “Not at all, knock yourself out.” he said, without blinking.

She stared at him intently for a few more silent moments before apparently resolving something and moving on. She stubbed out the half-smoked cigarette in the pot plant and pulled a file from her drawer.

“I gave you a list of 12 names. So far you’ve taken samples from 10. Only one of those was a match.”

She sighed. “Unfortunately the match liver was rejected by the host.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that” he said, recalling the messy extraction procedure he had hastily carried out.

“There are just two remaining candidates” she continued. “One of those HAS to be the one. How long until you have sampled those last two?”

“The congresswoman will be very difficult” he said, “she will have to wait until last”. He paused before smiling slowly, “But as luck would have it, the last name on the list has just arrived in town. The police are tracking him for the murder of candidate number one, Wilber Woode. This could play into our hands nicely.”

“Get it done.” she said as she tossed the file back into the drawer and closed it. “We can’t wait much longer!”

He stood up. “Not much longer. In fact, I’m paying him a visit this evening.” He turned and left. As he closed the door behind him, he could hear her lighting another cigarette.

Next up – Douglas Kent

LIFEBOAT!

A game of survival, bad breath, and fish odor…

This is the simple game of Lifeboat. Everyone plays this, whether you participate or not. Each turn everyone still alive in the lifeboat may make a single vote to throw someone off the lifeboat, or a single vote to remove one vote from yourself (a defensive measure). The high vote getter is thrown overboard, as well as any player getting 2 or more net votes (due to the damage caused when Sanka was tossed overboard). In a tie, everyone with that score is thrown over. Last one in the boat wins. I’ll probably give a prize, as usual. Press is encouraged. Note that the votes themselves are NOT revealed. I just simply announce who is thrown overboard. If you’re not listed as in the lifeboat right now but want to be, email me and I will add you next issue. If you are listed and don’t’ want to be…well, too bad. There is no suicide in this game; you just can ignore it if you want to.

Currently in the lifeboat:

Stock	Price	% +/-
AJK - Allison Kent	63	1.6%
ALM - Hank Alme	5	-91.1%
AMB - Amber Smith	48	-12.7%
AND - Lance Anderson	45	-13.5%
BAB - Chris Babcock	10	-33.3%
BIE - John Biehl	79	2.6%
BRG - Martin Burgdorf	69	3.0%
BWD - Brad Wilson	73	4.3%
CAK - Andy Lischett	71	2.9%
CAL - Cal White	10	-33.3%
CHC - Chuy Cronin	0.01	0.0%
CIA - Tom Swider	1	-83.3%
CKW - Kevin Wilson	74	4.2%
CKY - Carol Kay	8	33.3%
DAN - Dane Maslen	72	2.9%
DBG - David Burgess	1	-66.7%
DTC - Brendan Whyte	68	3.0%
DUK - Don Williams	48	-12.7%
FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer	67	3.1%
FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois	1	-75.0%
FRT - Mark Firth	68	1.5%
GRA - Graham Wilson	7	-41.7%
HDT - Heather Taylor	69	3.0%
HLJ - Harley Jordan	67	3.1%
HPL - Hugh Polley	35	6.1%
JOD - Jeff O'Donnell	69	3.0%
KMP - Geoff Kemp	69	3.0%
KVT - Kevin Tighe	70	2.9%
LAT - David Latimer	68	3.0%
LCR - Larry Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MRK - Mark Nelson	34	3.0%
MCC - David McCrumb	73	2.8%
MCR - Michael Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MIM - Michael Moulton	68	3.0%
MRC - Marc Ellinger	67	3.1%
OTS - Tom Howell	65	3.2%
PER - Per Westling	60	3.4%
PJM - Phil Murphy	30	-21.1%
QUI - Michael Quirk	17	-32.0%
RAC - Robin ap Cynan	61	1.7%
RDP - Rick Desper	66	3.1%
REB - Melinda Holley	73	2.8%
RED - Paraic Reddington	76	4.1%
RWE - Richard Weiss	59	0.0%
SAK - Jack McHugh	96	4.3%
TAP - Jim Burgess	76	2.7%
VOG - Pat Vogelsang	2	-66.7%
WAY - W. Andrew York	70	2.9%
WLK - Richard Walkerdine	109	2.8%
WWW - William Wood	0.01	0.0%

THE BEAR IN THE BAR by Richard Walkerdine

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and asks for a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings”

The bear, becoming rather angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, rather more forcefully, “We certainly don’t serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings.”

The bear, very angry now, says, “If you don’t serve me a beer I’m going to eat that slutty looking woman sitting at the other end of the bar.”

The bartender replies, “Sorry, but we definitely don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings.”

The bear goes to the other end of the bar and, as he threatened, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer,

The bartender’s reply is, “Sorry but no way will we serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs.”

The bear replies, “But I’m NOT on drugs.”

The bartender just smiles and says, “You are now. That was a barbitchyouate.”

Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jack@diplomacyworld.net

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #41

I’m still working, which is a good thing. Unfortunately I was hopeful having a job would help take my mind off of how shitty the rest of my life is. That worked for a while, but now that I often get stuck on the boring overnight shift there’s nothing to distract me.

For a way to pass the time, I’ve been making lists of people I know, and categorizing them as friends, acquaintances, and enemies. Then I reorder each list based on who I’d kill first. I haven’t tried to combine them into one, because I am worried that I might find the #1 victim on the acquaintance list is higher on the master kill list than the lowest enemy. That would seem sort of wrong.

Hope you month sucked, and that this one will too. Eat me.

True and very serious. THIS IS A SERIOUS MESSAGE!!!

Be very careful and watch out for this one. It has been known to take the whole bank account with just one swipe. Beware of credit card frauds reported for swiping your card on a machine as pictured below. This machine can end up costing you a lot more than you bargained for! Please forward this message to prevent further losses! This is the (edited) photo of the machine.

One way or another those things get your money.

BEST COME BACK LINE EVER

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop...

"You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" He stated in an interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose; cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'

Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .

I said, Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said...

"A pumpkin? Shit ..... is it midnight already?"

THE DONKEY AND THE ELEPHANT:

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican.

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But, I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're a moron who has not been any help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama-Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are -- or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

Italian Cruise ship captain Francesco Schettino began his new job as a bus driver yesterday...

How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships? - On the rocks

What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? - Leeks

What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? - Follow the captain

When the captain of the ill-fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied "off course."

So the captain of the Costa Concordia will soon be in the dock. That's more than can be said for his ship.

The Costa Concordia is probably the most expensive thing to go down in Italy since Berlusconi's last hooker.

What's the difference between the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia? - Nothing, the bottoms dropped out of both.

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did .... she's 21 and her name's Lucy.

I went to the bar with my girlfriend last night. The locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said, "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me with everything I need – Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers...they just need to add some beer.

The local paper did a poll last week. Question - Are there too many immigrants in the United States? 17% said yes; 11% said no; 72% said "I am not understanding the question please."

The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries!

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.

I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod after realizing that "iTouch Kids" is not a good product name.

The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.

Note to Readers of The Abyssinian Prince: Jim Burgess has real-world responsibilities that are preventing him from getting TAP out in time for this issue of ES. He hopes to have this issue out by April 1^st. My deadlines can help push him to publish, but I can’t get him to quit his job and do TAP full time, try as I might. In the meantime, here’s Peter Sullivan’s TAP subzone Octopus’s Garden.

Octopus's Garden

Issue Seventy-Four

14th March 2012

Sub-editorial

HELLO, good evening and welcome to Octopus's Garden, the subzeen with its very own Railway Rivals game. It's a subzeen to Jim Burgess' The Abbysinian Prince, which is now a subzeen to Douglas Kent's Eternal Sunshine. Which was originally a subzeen to The Abbysinian Prince, which was in turn originally a subzeen to Terry Tallman's North West Stealth George. (I hope you're taking notes. There may be a test later.) Produced by Peter Sullivan mailto:peter@burdonvale.co.uk. It's also available on the web at http://www.burdonvale.co.uk/octopus/.

Round 6 — "Hannibal Hamlin"

Railway Rivals Map FR

NERTZ (William Whyte, USA.) [purple]

6a) (W27) - B69 [-1 L] [-1 R] - C69 ;
6b) (L11) - M12 - R9 [-1 L] ;
6c) (R9) - La Rochelle ; (C69) - Nancy ; (Paris) - F59 - G59 [-8 Fr] [-1 R].
=66-2[L]-2[R]-8[Fr]+8[L]+1[Fr]+2[R]=65

LOSER (Geoff Challinger, UK.) [blue]

6a) (S11) - La Rochelle ; (S13) - O11 ;
6b) (O11) - N10 -M11 - Bordeaux ; (Y30) - Z29 [-5 R] ;
6c) (Z29) - A69 - B69 - Nancy [-8 N].
=25-5[R]-8[N]+2[Fr]+2[N]=16

FRAK IT (W. Andrew York, USA.) [black]

6a) (Bayonne) - F7 - E7 ; (J23) - H24 ;
6b) (H24) - G25 [-1 N] [-1 R]; (H60) - J59 - L59 - M60 [-1 Fw] [-1 L] ;
6c) (Rennes) - C48 [-2 Fw] ; (F59) - H58 [-1 L] - H57 [-1 Fw].
=54-4[Fw]-2[L]-1[N]-1[R]+8[N]+2[R]=56

FWOGGIE (Brendan Whyte, Aus.) [green]

6a) (Rennes) - D47 - D45 - E45 - E44 ;
6b) (C48) - G50 - Cherbourg [+6] ;
6c) (E44) - E43 - D42 - Brest [+6] ; (P29) - O30.
=57+12+4[Fr]=73

RENAISSANCE (Robin ap Cynan, UK.) [yellow]

6a) (H25) - F24 [-1 N] - F21 [-1 N] - E21 ;
6b) (E21) - B19 ; (F58) - I60 [-1 Fr] [-1 Fr] ;
6c) (I60) - L61 - Lille.
=46-2[N]-2[Fr]+2[N]+5[L]+1[Fr]=50

Races for Round Seven

1) (42-@6) Mulhouse - Spain
2) (52-61) Limoges - Grenoble
3) (@1-12) England - Paris
4) (15-46) Rouen - St Etienne
5) (33-23) Lille - Rennes
6) (21-51) Brest - Clermont Ferrand
7) (64-31) Marseille - Amiens

GENEVA: For Round Seven, you may enter up to four of these races, and then build up to 14 physical points of track (i.e. payments to rivals don't count against the limit; although of course you still pay them.) The deadline for Round Seven orders is SATURDAY, 7th APRIL, 2012 (the day before Easter) to Peter Sullivan, mailto:%20peter@burdonvale.co.uk

A reminder of the Special Run locations. In each case, it's to the 1st hex across the border (or, for England, the 1st hex off the ferry.)

@1: England
@2: Belgium/Luxembourg
@3: "West" Germany
@4: Switzerland
@5: Italy
@6: Spain

That was Octopus's Garden #74, A Startling Press production.

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?

Rules in ES #58. Send in your guesses. I’ve played this in Brandon Whyte’s Damn the Consequences a few times and it’s fun, takes only a minute or two each turn, and helps you work your brain! As soon as this one ends, a new one will begin.

ROUND 1

Clue to Person with the Closest Guess (Notified by email): One of you knows who I am, but nobody has discovered precisely where.

Deadline for Round 6 is April 24th at 7:00am My Time

Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Mark Firth, John Biehl, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Geoff Kemp, Don Williams, need 1 more to fill. Sign up now!

Youngstown IV (Gray Press): The classic 10-player variant, which seems to have fallen through the cracks lately. Jack McHugh is going to write an article on it for Diplomacy World, but he wants to play again first, so sign up and help out! Signed up: Jack McHugh, Brad Wilson, Geoff Kemp, Martin Burgdorf, Don Williams, Marc Ellinger, need 4 more. Sign up now!!! Just four more!!

Balkan Wars VI (Unknown Press Level): To be Guest GM’d by Brad Wilson: Signed up: Doug Kent (that’s me folks), Jack McHugh, Lance Anderson, needs 3 more. Contact Brad to sign up at bwdolphin146 “of” yahoo.com. Sign up now!!! HURRY!!!

Narnian Wars (Gray Press): A variant based on the C.S. Lewis world of Narnia. I ran this once or twice in Maniac’s Paradise. Rules and map contained in ES #51. I’ve added this back to the openings list by request as I only left it there for two issues last time. Signed up: Martin Burgdorf, needs 7 more to fill.

Aberration V (Gray Press): A nine-player variant with an expanded and altered European map. Rod Walker’s design modified by Nicholas Fitzpatrick. Map and rules in ES #61. Signed up: Martin Burgdorf, Hugh Polley, needs 7 more to fill.

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant. Rules are in ES #47. Join in at any time!

By Popular Demand: New game begins this issue! Back to the normal format this time.

Lifeboat: Everybody plays, whether you actually do anything or not.

Movie Photo Contest: 10 Rounds, with a prize to the winner. Join anytime!

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?: Rules in ES #58. Send in your guess! Join anytime!

Kremlin: House rules in ES #59. I’d like to get five players for this, any takers? Jack McHugh and Jim Burgess signed up, need at least 2 more.

Standby List: HELP! I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill. When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it. If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch. If you have specific game requests please let me know.

Eternal Sunshine Game Section

Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, F 17

Austria (Martin Burgdorf – martin_burgdorf “of” hotmail.com): A Belgium – Ruhr,

F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), A Budapest Supports A Trieste – Serbia,

A Burgundy Supports A Gascony – Marseilles, A Denmark – Sweden, A Gascony - Marseilles (*Fails*),

A Holland – Belgium, A Kiel – Berlin, A Norway Supports A Sweden – Finland, A Paris - Gascony (*Fails*),

A Picardy - Paris (*Fails*), A Ruhr – Munich, A Sweden – Finland, A Trieste – Serbia, A Venice - Rome (*Fails*).

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” yahoo.com): A Clyde - Liverpool (*Bounce*),

F English Channel - Irish Sea (*Fails*), A Yorkshire Supports A Clyde - Liverpool.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): F Aegean Sea – Greece, A Bulgaria Hold,

F Ionian Sea - Tyrrhenian Sea, F Irish Sea - Liverpool (*Bounce*), A Livonia Hold,

F Marseilles Supports F Spain(sc) (*Cut*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F Brest - English Channel (*Void*),

F North Atlantic Ocean Supports F Irish Sea – Liverpool, F Rome Hold, A Rumania – Sevastopol,

F Spain(sc) Supports F Marseilles, A St Petersburg Hold.

W 17/S 18 Deadline is April 24th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Belgium, Berlin, Brest, Budapest, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich,

Norway, Paris, Rumania, Serbia, Sweden, Trieste, Venice, Vienna=16, Build 1

England: Edinburgh, Liverpool, London=3, Even

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Marseilles, Moscow, Naples, Portugal,

Rome, Sevastopol, Smyrna, Spain, St Petersburg, Tunis, Warsaw=15, Build 3

PRESS

A -> E: Let us try to convoy one of my As to the island!

Eng-A/T: You guys got nothing. NOTHING!

TURKEY-AUSTRIA: Lance, Lance, come back!!! Just a blip on the long term radar screen, we can still do it!!!

“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse

Billy Ray Valentine: Probably in his limousine.

Duke of York: Stands and delivers.

Smaug the Dragon: Nada.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Pounds…Buys 256 Piastres.

Baron Wuffet: On his tuffet.

Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 Piastres. Buys 574 Crowns.

VAIONT Enterprises: Coming up with more initials if possible.

Insider Trading LLC: Looking for an attorney.

Bourse Master: Stands pat awaiting the stab of Austria and death of England.

Next Bourse Deadline is April 23rd at 7:00pm my time

PRESS

5% to 1%: Kettle calling the pot black?

Rothschild to the Tommies: You must defend your island!

(DUKE OF YORK): Pikers, you're all going to crash and burn.

Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, F 15

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): F Venice Supports F Apulia - Adriatic Sea,

A Vienna Supports A Trieste.

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): F Apulia - Adriatic Sea, F English Channel Hold,

F Ionian Sea – Albania, A Moscow Supports A Ukraine – Sevastopol, F Norwegian Sea Hold, A Paris Hold,

A Spain Hold, A St Petersburg Supports A Moscow, F Tunis Hold, F Tyrrhenian Sea Hold,

F Western Mediterranean Hold, A Yorkshire Hold.

France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): No units.

Germany (Harley Jordan – harleyj “of” alum.mit.edu): A Budapest – Rumania, A Burgundy Hold,

F Denmark Hold, A Galicia Supports A Budapest – Rumania, F Holland Hold, A Rome – Apulia, F Sweden Hold,

A Trieste Supports F Ionian Sea – Albania, A Ukraine – Sevastopol, A Warsaw - Ukraine.

Russia (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): ~~F Adriatic Sea Supports A Vienna - Trieste~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat

to Ionian Sea or OTB), F Aegean Sea Convoys A Greece – Smyrna, ~~A Albania Supports A Vienna – Trieste~~

(*Dislodged*, retreat to Greece or OTB), A Bulgaria – Constantinople, A Greece – Smyrna,

~~A Rumania - Budapest~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to Bulgaria or OTB), A Serbia Supports A Vienna - Trieste (*Void*),

A Sevastopol - Armenia.

A/W 15 and S 16 Deadline is April 24th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Venice, Vienna=2, Even

England: Belgium, Brest, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Moscow, Naples,

Norway, Paris, Spain, St Petersburg, Tunis=12, Even

France: Portugal=1, No Room to Build

Germany: Berlin, Budapest, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Rome,

Rumania, Sevastopol, Sweden, Trieste, Warsaw=13, Build 3

Russia: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Serbia, Smyrna=6, Remove 2 or 1 or Play 1 Short

PRESS:

AUSTRIA to RUSSIA: Better to live on my knees than to die ~~on my feet~~ before Russia does …

AUSTRIA to GM: Admit it, no one does obsequious ignominy like I do obsequious ignominy.

AUSTRIA to ENGLAND: We understand that these are uncharted waters for you north European lads, but let’s hope we line up the gun turrets all in the right direction this time, wot?

Russia to Austria: After your earlier diatribes I'm surprised Germany is letting you survive. How much longer I wonder? Do the 'spiney' thing before he eats you.

AUSTRIA to GERMANY: Fluctuat nec mergitur … damnant quod non intelligent. Exitus acta probat!

RADIO FREE AUSTRIA:

Packs of Lies*

Packs of lies, packs of lies

Every season, unceasing

Little whites, giant sized …

All composed to deceive me.

The Tsar long ago stabbed my back and so

Fight I will for-ev-er.

Once allied, Russia lied …

Now he’s not looking clever.

Down to two, what to do?

Threw my lot in with E/G

They say I’ll grow, but would I know

If they only deceive me?

Packs of lies, all these guys

Stole my homeland forever.

*To the tune of Edelweiss

(GHOST OF TURKEY to THE RUSSIA IN TURKEY MAN): Falling back into me will only mean I can haunt you more directly. Your path is filled with jagged edges of broken glass.

(BOOBISH ONE to DUCKISH ONE): Hold up our end 'me man! You can do it!!

Black Press Gunboat, “Scream” 2010Brb32, W 08/S 09

England: F Norwegian Sea – Edinburgh, A Yorkshire - London.

France: Retreat A Brest OTB.. Remove A Picardy.. A Burgundy – Marseilles, F Rome – Naples,

F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports F Rome – Naples, A Venice - Trieste (*Fails*).

Germany: F Brest - English Channel, A Paris – Brest, F Spain(nc) - Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Russia: Build F St Petersburg(nc), A Warsaw.. F Armenia - Ankara (*Fails*),

F Black Sea Convoys A Sevastopol – Bulgaria, A Budapest Supports A Serbia, F Helgoland Bight – Holland,

A Holland – Belgium, A Munich – Burgundy, F North Sea Supports F St Petersburg(nc) – Norway,

A Norway – Finland, A Ruhr Supports A Munich – Burgundy, A Rumania Supports A Sevastopol – Bulgaria,

A Serbia Supports A Sevastopol - Bulgaria (*Cut*), A Sevastopol - Bulgaria (*Fails*),

F St Petersburg(nc) – Norway, A Trieste Supports A Serbia (*Cut*), A Vienna Supports A Trieste,

A Warsaw - Galicia.

Turkey: Remove F Adriatic Sea, F Naples.. F Aegean Sea Supports A Bulgaria, A Albania - Serbia (*Fails*),

A Ankara Supports F Constantinople (*Cut*), A Bulgaria Supports A Albania - Serbia (*Cut*),

F Constantinople Supports A Ankara, A Greece Supports A Bulgaria.

Now Proposed – Concession to Russia. Please Vote, NVR=No.

F 09 deadline is April 24th at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

France: Sigh.

Turkey to France. Taking Rome from me has thrown the solo. Dumb as a house plant that order.

Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, F 07

Austria (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): A Bohemia Supports A Vienna – Tyrolia,

A Moscow – Livonia, A Serbia - Trieste (*Fails*), A Sevastopol – Moscow, A Silesia - Berlin (*Fails*),

A Trieste - Venice (*Bounce*), A Vienna – Tyrolia, A Warsaw - Prussia.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” yahoo.com): Retreat F Kiel - Denmark..

F Baltic Sea Supports A Berlin, A Berlin Supports F Denmark - Kiel (*Cut*), F Denmark - Kiel (*Fails*),

F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Helgoland Bight Supports F Denmark – Kiel,

F Holland Supports F Denmark – Kiel, F Norway Hold, F St Petersburg(nc) Hold.

France (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” yahoo.com): A Belgium Hold, F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc) (*Fails*),

~~F Naples - Rome~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to Tyrrhenian Sea or OTB), A Picardy – Burgundy,

A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Bounce*), A Venice Supports F Naples - Rome (*Cut*).

Germany (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Retreat A Belgium-OTB, A Holland - Ruhr..

A Kiel Supports A Silesia - Berlin (*Cut*), A Munich Supports A Kiel, A Ruhr Supports A Kiel.

Italy (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): A Rome - Venice (*Bounce*),

F Spain(sc) - Marseilles (*Bounce*).

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): F Aegean Sea – Greece, F Apulia – Naples,

A Bulgaria Hold, F Constantinople - Aegean Sea, F Ionian Sea Supports F Apulia – Naples, F Tunis - North Africa.

A/W 07 and S 08 Deadline is April 24th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Budapest, Moscow, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Trieste, Vienna, Warsaw=8, Even

England: Berlin, Denmark, Edinburgh, Holland, Liverpool, London, Norway, St Petersburg,

Sweden=9, Build 1

France: Belgium, Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Venice=6, Even or Build 1

Germany: Kiel, Munich=2, Remove 1

Italy: Rome, Spain=2, Even

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Naples, Smyrna, Tunis=7, Build 1

PRESS

france to england move ec to the mid atlantic ocean

Con-Vienna: mmoth sailing ahead.

Tighe: I will try to get to Chicago for the Dipcon. The world will be there? Scary.

Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, W 07/S 08

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations. All press submitted will be printed.

Austria (Dave McCrumb): Build F Trieste, A Vienna, A Budapest.. A Berlin – Munich,

A Budapest Supports A Bulgaria – Rumania, A Bulgaria – Rumania, A Greece – Serbia,

F Ionian Sea - Aegean Sea, A Kiel Supports A Berlin – Munich, A Naples – Rome, A Rome – Venice,

F Trieste - Adriatic Sea, A Tunis Hold, A Tyrolia – Piedmont, A Vienna - Bohemia.

England (Tom Howell): Retreat A Belgium - Picardy..Remove F Sweden.. F Irish Sea - Liverpool (*Fails*),

F Liverpool - Edinburgh (Imp, *Fails*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - North Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*),

F North Sea Supports F Skagerrak – Denmark, A Picardy – Paris, F Skagerrak - Denmark.

France (Brad Wilson): A Belgium Hold, ~~A Denmark Hold~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to Sweden or OTB),

A Holland Hold, F North Atlantic Ocean Hold, F Norwegian Sea Hold, A Ruhr Hold, F Spain(sc) Hold.

Italy (Italy Must Win): Remove F Western Mediterranean, F Gulf of Lyon, F Adriatic Sea..

F Constantinople – Bulgaria (No coast specified, Holds).

Russia (Rick Desper): Retreat F Sweden-OTB.. Build F Sevastopol, A Moscow..

A Moscow Supports A Norway - St Petersburg, A Norway - St Petersburg,

A Rumania Supports F Constantinople - Bulgaria(ec) (*Dislodged*, retreat to Ukraine or Galicia or OTB),

F Sevastopol - Black Sea, A Ukraine - Sevastopol.

Turkey (Sultan One): Remove F Armenia.. F Ankara - Constantinople (*Fails*), F Syria - Smyrna.

Summer/Fall 08 Deadline is April 24^th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Italy Must Win to Austria: BASTARD! You are going DOWN!

Italy Must Win to Board: OK. Let’s get this over with.

World to Italy: down for the count!

World to Turkey: Ouch!

Vienna: Pedal to the metal!

Italy Must Die -> Italy Must Win: Given up yet?

Black Press Gunboat, “Streets of Soho,” 2011Arb32, F 06

Austria: A Ankara Hold, A Apulia Supports F Ionian Sea – Naples, A Constantinople - Bulgaria (*Bounce*),

A Galicia Supports A Ukraine – Warsaw, F Greece - Ionian Sea (*Bounce*), F Ionian Sea – Naples,

A Rumania - Bulgaria (*Bounce*), A Sevastopol Hold, A Ukraine – Warsaw, A Venice - Rome (*Fails*),

A Vienna - Tyrolia.

England: F Baltic Sea - Berlin (*Bounce*), F Irish Sea Supports F London - English Channel,

A Kiel Supports F Baltic Sea - Berlin (*Cut*), F London - English Channel, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Spain(sc),

A Moscow - St Petersburg, F North Sea - Holland (*Bounce*).

France: Retreat F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Portugal.. A Belgium - Holland (*Bounce*),

F Brest - English Channel (*Fails*), A Burgundy Supports A Silesia - Berlin (*Fails*),

F Gulf of Lyon - Western Mediterranean, A Piedmont - Venice (*Fails*), F Portugal - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

A Silesia - Berlin (*Bounce*), F Tunis - Ionian Sea (*Bounce*).

Germany: A Berlin Supports A Ruhr - Kiel (*Cut*), A Livonia – Moscow, A Ruhr - Kiel (*Fails*).

Italy: NMR! ~~F Naples Hold~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to Tyrrhenian Sea or OTB), A Rome Hold.

Russia: F Black Sea scuttles (Holds).

A/W 06/S 07 Deadline is April 24th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Ankara, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Naples, Rumania,

Serbia, Sevastopol, Smyrna, Trieste, Venice, Vienna, Warsaw=14, Build 3

England: Denmark, Edinburgh, Kiel, Liverpool, London, Norway, Spain, St Petersburg, Sweden=9, Build 2

France: Belgium, Brest, Holland, Marseilles, Paris, Tunis=6, Remove 2

Germany: Berlin, Moscow, Munich=3, Even

Italy: Rome=1, Even or Remove 1

Russia: None=0, OUT!!

Unowned: Portugal

PRESS

France - Italy "What do you want me to do?"

RUSSIA: The rest is silence.

ANON - WORLD: 2 down, 4 to go...

Diplomacy - “Lighthouse” - 2011? – F 03

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): NMR! A Budapest Hold, A Serbia Hold.

England (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): Retreat F Irish Sea - Liverpool..

F Liverpool - Irish Sea (*Fails*), F London - Wales (*Bounce*), A Yorkshire - Wales (*Bounce*).

France (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” comcast.net): A Belgium Hold, A Burgundy - Munich (*Bounce*),

F English Channel Supports A Belgium, F Irish Sea - Liverpool (*Fails*), A Marseilles Hold.

Germany (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 “of” yahoo.com): Retreat A Belgium – Ruhr, A Vienna - Tyrolia..

A Denmark Hold, A Galicia – Bohemia, F Helgoland Bight Supports F Holland - North Sea, F Holland - North Sea,

F Kiel - Baltic Sea, A Ruhr - Munich (*Bounce*), A Tyrolia - Piedmont.

Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): F Aegean Sea - Bulgaria(sc),

F Greece Supports F Aegean Sea - Bulgaria(sc), A Trieste Supports A Vienna, A Venice – Tyrolia,

A Vienna Supports A Venice - Tyrolia.

Russia (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): F Armenia – Ankara,

F Black Sea Supports F Armenia – Ankara, A Rumania - Bulgaria (*Fails*),

F Smyrna - Constantinople (*Bounce*), A St Petersburg – Finland, F Sweden Unordered,

A Syria - Smyrna (*Fails*), A Warsaw - Galicia.

Turkey (Jack McHugh - jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): ~~F Ankara - Constantinople~~ (*Disbanded*),

~~A Bulgaria Supports F Ankara - Constan~~tinople (*Disbanded*).

Would Andy York standby for Austria PLEASE?

W 03/S 04 Deadline is April 24th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Budapest, Serbia=2, Even

England: Edinburgh, Liverpool, London=3, Even

France: Belgium, Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=6, Build 1

Germany: Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich=5, Remove 2

Italy: Bulgaria, Greece, Naples, Rome, Trieste, Tunis, Venice, Vienna=8, Build 3

Russia: Ankara, Constantinople, Moscow, Norway, Rumania, Sevastopol, Smyrna,

St Petersburg, Sweden, Warsaw=10, Build 2

Turkey: None=0, OUT!!

PRESS

From the steps of Moscow:

G-"Sir, Franz -Joesph is on the line of this communication device that we got from the British."

P-"Ah - Finally a use for this thing - maybe it does work after all"

P-"What does our Archduck friend want?"

G-"He says there is no peace in the land - the Germans , the Italians - they all fight and try to take

what does not belong to them."

P-"Invite him over - we have lots of room on the beaches of the Black Sea"

P-"Oh, and make sure we another railway tanker car of vodka to the troops"

By Almost Popular Demand

The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the a popular answer but NOT the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. However, if your answer is the most popular answer, you score ZERO. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be doubled. In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5. Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds, and the score is doubled for Round 10. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted!

Round 10 Categories – Double Score!

1. One of Shakespeare’s plays.

2. A General who died during the U.S. Civil War.

3. Something an artist uses.

4. A job that everybody hates you for doing.

5. A country beginning with U.

Selected Comments by Category:

Shakespeare – Dick Martin “the obvious answer is hamlet, so since most people will avoid that since it's so obvious that's what i'll go with.” Michael Moulton “Have to go with Macbeth since it's my favorite Shakespeare.” Marc Ellinger “Julius Caesar is the only Shakespeare play I can really enjoy.” Per Westling “One of my top plays I've seen live is actually connected to Shakespeare. In London you can see a play that gives all 37 plays of Shakespear in an hour... It might be this one: http://www.reducedshakespeare.com/productions/the-complete-works-of-william-shakespeare-abridged/ although I saw it in the 90s. Hilarious, it was.”

General – Melinda Holley “(Bet most will say Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson or JEB Stuart *g*) - Torn between Patrick Cleburne (killed at the Battle of Franklin (gotta love a fightin' Irishman) and a distant relative Lewis A. Armistead. Gonna go with family - Lewis Armistead (killed at the Battle of Gettysburg).” Kevin Wilson “Not only could I not name a general who died, other than 2 or 3 (Grant, Lee, Sheridan) I couldn't name generals who died or not. “ Rick Desper “Stonewall Jackson is the most famous. Had to do a little research to find somebody else. Apparently Earl van Dorn, general in the Confederate Army, was killed by a jealous husband in 1863. That works for me.” John Biehl “I didn't know there were so many who died.” Marc Ellinger “Patrick Cleburne –Confederate General died leading a charge (Just like my Great, Great Grandfather, but he was only an Lt. Col)”

Artist – Kevin Wilson “You didn’t identify what kind of artist but I'm going to assume most will assume painter and the top answer likely will be a brush.”

Hated Job – Hank Alme “A job that everybody hates you for doing: Little League Baseball Umpire (Or so it seemed: I was always amazed at the mothers who could see balls and strikes from 100 feet down the foul line better than I could see them behind the plate. A fellow ump suggested it was a special power that comes from having a uterus.)” Marc Ellinger “Politician – Don’t I know this all too well. No good deed goes unpunished.” Per Westling “Actually applied for Traffic Warden at one time, but did not get it. I put my JOKER on this one.”

U Country – Hank Alme “Uganda #1, I am guessing.” Kevin Wilson “I'll guess the US will be #1.” Per Westling “So, from the top of my head we have Ukraine, Uganda, Uruguay, Upper Volta and of course USA. One of my colleagues is moving to Odessa in Ukraine to do some church related work for two years, and also to marry. So I go for the 2nd largest European country - Ukraine.”

Congrats to Allison Kent for scoring the high for the round of 36. Condolences to Richard Weiss and Andy York who each scored just a 6. But, the game is over, and Melinda Holley managed to hold on to her top spot despite the double points this round! I’ll be in touch about a prize, Melinda.

Now, on to the next game, which is back to the normal By Popular Demand this time….

New Gamestart - By Popular Demand

Credit goes to Ryk Downes, I believe, for inventing this. The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be doubled. In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5. Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted!

Note – This is the regular By Popular Demand, not the By ALMOST popular demand we did last time.

Round 1 Categories