Eternal Sunshine #73 - February 2013

- Eternal Sunshine #73

February 2013

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

Email: diplomacyworld@yahoo.com or dougray30@yahoo.com

On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at http://www.diplomacyworld.net.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/ to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata. We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/EternalSunshDip, and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Check out my new Internet radio station, “Music You Should Know,” at www.live365.com/stations/musicyoushouldknow

Quote Of The Month – “Mary hates me. I've never been popular with the ladies.” (Patrick in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)

Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine where you can play Yahtzee!, Kendo Nagasaki, Balkan Wars, AND By Almost Popular Demand at the same time. But try not to mix the games up, or your head might explode. And who wants to clean up that mess?

So, another issue here, another month gone. Despite work being a real bitch this month (again), I am finally doing some more work on one of my book projects. I sent out what I’ve accumulated for my “Prison Book” to a handful of people who had offered to help me correct it and make some editorial decisions about inclusion, expansion, etc. Even if I didn’t spend as much time on it as I would have liked to, it’s a start.

Oh, before I forget, a quick update for Jack McHugh’s Dead Pool. He and I each crossed a name off the list (Charles Durning and Jack Klugman, respectively), plus I had to change one of my names since George McGivern had died just before the list was published. But since Jack didn’t get me the official points scored for those names, I haven’t bothered to reprint the lists. Probably next month?

Meanwhile, aside from The Abyssinian Prince (which Jim Boob keeps claiming is a going concern), we’ve got a near full set of columns and subzines. Brad Wilson returns with the latest Balkan Wars adjudication; Richard Weiss is here with Yahtzee! (and more unfortunate corrections); Paul Milewski makes another welcome appearance; and Jack faithfully churns out his subzine.

I’ve also included the rules and map to Woolworth II-D, which is a fun 5-player variant where each player controls two powers. The catch is you control one publically (as in Diplomacy) and one secretly (as in Gunboat). I mentioned it as one of my favorite Fred C. Davis Jr. designs in the latest Diplomacy World (which you can find at www.diplomacyworld.net) and there are already two spots taken. Sign up!

Also take note that the latest By Popular Demand has ended (I won’t tell you who won; you’ll have to go look), so a new game is going to begin. This time we’re going back to By ALMOST Popular Demand, where the #1 answer in each category scores a big fat ZERO. Don “Duck” Williams says he hates BAPD compared to BPD, which is why I decided to run it again. Moooohahahahaha.

That’s about it. I think I have an interview lined up for next issue. Read this rag, and send in some comments and stuff or I’ll get bored and taunt you a second time.

Playlist: I’m The Man – Joe Jackson; Two Rainy Nights – Joe Jackson; End of Endless False Starts – Raina Rose; SHEL – SHEL; Boys, Flowers, Miles – Antje Duvekot; Peter Gabriel (Car) – Peter Gabriel.

Hypothetical of the Month

Last month, we gave you these hypothetical questions or situations: #1 – You agree to buy a friend’s piano. Later, you discover that the agreed price is too high. Considering that your friend has told other buyers that it is sold, do you try to renegotiate? #2 – You own a struggling seafood restaurant. A small supplier contracts with you to provide you with shrimp cheaply, at a set price for the next 6 months. The cost of shrimp increases significantly. Do you insist on your price even if it means potentially putting him out of business?

Heather Taylor - #1 – No, because I have already agreed to pay that price. If I knew the price was too high I would not have agreed. Plus I am less likely to bargain hard with a friend.

#2 – I would hope that they would honor the agreement, but I wouldn’t want either of us to go out of business. If they do not try to alter the agreement, I would try to find a middle ground where I still benefit from the low price but they do not lose as much. If they DID try to alter the agreement, I’d insist they keep it as originally negotiated out of spite.

Melinda Holley - #1 - If my friend is selling me something that is priced too high, that's not really a friend. So I have no problem in telling this 'friend' that I've changed my mind and can't afford it.

#2 - This is a standard business practice. When you set a price to be held for a certain amount of time, you take the chance that the price of the material will not raise. If it does, you're stuck. Now, if I have a good working relationship with this supplier, yes I'd work with him. I'd probably negotiate with him even if I don't have a good working relationship with him just because that's what I think is right.

Richard Weiss - #1 - No discussion with friend. No sarcasm. Smile. Pay what I said I would. My fault for agreeing to buy at a price before determining value. Even more reason not to attempt to get out of the contract as it is presumably verbal and with a friend. However much difference the price is or may be, nowhere near the value of a friend. However, since I know there have been other offers, if I knew that he/her had received offers above mine, I'd tell him/her that if he/her could still do that, I'd release him or her from our agreement. Since I don't want a piano, wonder why I agreed to buy.

#2 - Interesting, this is also a contractual issue. Because I grew up on a dirt road in Vermont and then learned contracting in Asia, no contract remains valid past the point where it does not work for one party if both expect to continue the relationship of mutual customer-supplier. First I determine what other suppliers are charging and what is the best long-term rate I can get with them. Then I attempt to have a very open conversation. First to define whether we have a mutual goal (we want to have customer-supplier relationship). Then talk to increase our common pool of knowledge, which is that I could pay more, he tells me how much more he has to charge by X amount for now, and then I try to negotiate some corridors for the price of shrimp so that I'm still below what other sellers might be charging me but helping him to stay in business, and asking for a longer contract at favorable rates but still within a corridor that allows him to make some profit and live on and me to save money using him as a supplier. It's possible I'd insist on the fixed price while praying the price dropped quickly and that others would have supply at a better price.

Tom Howell - #1 - Don't play; didn't go there. Besides if I had, I'd have researched the prices of used pianos BEFORE buying, so it wouldn't have happened....

[[Yes Tom, but the point of a hypothetical is that is HAS happened, and now how are you going to handle it? You could just as easily say “I would never open a restaurant” in #2.]]

#2 - A contract is a contract.

Steve Cooley - #1 - If I didn’t do my homework before agreeing to buy it, shame on me.

#2 - No, I would not want to drive the man out of business. Long term, I think that’s a smart play anyway. I think it’s very likely he will remember what I’ve done for him, which cannot be anything but good—unless he’s like Don Williams, in which case he was probably faking the whole thing and is planning a hostile takeover of my business. And, btw, since I hate seafood, that’s fine with me.

Marc Ellinger - #1 and #2 - The answer is the same….a deal is a deal. Live with it. Some people come out ahead and others behind. Looking at these two questions, it seems I would come out even (ahead on the shrimp and behind on the piano). Maybe the friend with the piano can buy some high priced shrimp!!

Jack McHugh - #1 - Yes, if he's a friend he'll understand or he can resell it to one of his other buyers

#2 – Depends--it makes little sense for me to put him out of business if my alternative supplier will increase my cost significantly...so assuming there is no alternative supplier close to his price, I would try and work out an increase in price that is still lower than any other supplier but would make it worth it for him to stay in business and keep supplying me with shrimp.

Heath Gardner - #1 - The fact that it's a friend makes a big difference here. There is an additional layer to the transaction; it's not just business. For that reason, I would try to renegotiate and expect my friend to go along -- after all, he's not trying to screw me out of money, is he? However, I did agree to buy the piano at that cost, and if he won't budge, I'll pay.

#2 - And in this case, the problem is that my restaurant is struggling, and this time, my business partner is not a "friend". From a purely capitalist point of view -- and I'll 99% likely never be a business owner, so I'm having to use my imagination -- I would ask that the shrimp supplier honor the agreement we made. I doubt it will put him out of business in 6 months time.

Andy Lischett - #1 - 1. No. I agreed to a price so it was apparently worth that much to me. And, unless it's a Steinway or something, the difference should not be much, since used pianos are dirt cheap... like free. I used to occasionally work for a realtor and once went to a house which was empty except for an abandoned electric organ. George (the realtor) said, "If you want it, take it. It has to be gone by closing." I said no, but asked him to call me if he ever came across a piano in a similar situation. Within a week I got a real nice upright Kimball piano for the price of pizza and pop for my brother and strong nephews, and could have gotten four more pianos before I told George to stop calling me.

#2 - Yes, or no. It would depend upon how struggling I am and how much I believed the supplier's tale of woe. If I believed him and if I could afford it I might agree to a higher price - but not ALL of the significant cost increase - if he would agree to give me a break on the next contract. By the way, when considering this hypothetical I substituted "candy store" for "seafood restaurant" and "Hershey Bars" for "shrimp." I HATE seafood.

Dick Martin - #1 - sure, depending on how much too high. if it's a lot, let him sell it to somebody else

#2 - yes. unless we've been dealing long enough and have established a relationship where if the price went down i know he'd give me a break.

Per Westling - #1 - . No, I would stick to the agreement. If the price is VERY much higher I would take it up with my friend and ask why s/he did that.

#2 - I would. This is the other side of the number 1. If the supplier brings up the issue I would consider it.

Robin ap Cynan - #1 - No, the deal is done. But I might try to extract a case of wine for him if the deal is too good for him and not really good enough for me- or a pair of tickets to hear Lang Lang...

#2 - Yes- but I would be prepared to negotiate, especially if he can offer me a keen price after the contract ends, such that he doesn't go out of business...

Don Williams - #1 - Yes, I do try to renegotiate for a better price once I learn that I’m paying too much. There’s never such a thing as always, in this is a case where I might not honor the rule of always keeping your word. Besides, if he’s a friend he should eb trying to make a good price on me but not a gouging price.

#2 - We have a contract and he should keep it … but if he goes out of business he can’t keep it. In keeping with Question No. 1 above, he should honor the contract but sometimes reason and logic must enter in. In the context of the question (all absolutes, no reason to suspect him or me of trying to cheat each other) it makes perfect sense to renogiate … or just drop shrimp from the menu. Besides, I wouldn’t want to buy “cheap” shrimp from anyone who had a grudge against me …

Philip Murphy - #1 - Hmm interesting combination of questions. No. A deal is a deal. The time to check the price was *before* we shook on it. My own silly fault for not doing due diligence. Caveat emptor clearly applies.

#2 – Yes. A contract is a contract. However, I'd offer to sign a contract at the new price once the six months were up. I'd also pay promptly in cash, if possible.

For Next Month (For the time being, I am usually selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises). Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: (from Andy Lischett…but more normal this time) #1. You install central air conditioning for a living. One early summer day while visiting your cousin at his un-air conditioned home you admire a motorcycle which he no longer uses. He says that he really ought to get rid of it. You ask how much he wants for the motorcycle and he says that he doesn't know because it is an older bike and an unusual model and difficult to value. Then he suggests that you install central air in his house and take the motorcycle and you'll worry about any difference later.

You privately figure that any difference would be owed to you because a complete AC system installed is worth more than the motorcycle, but you'll "eat" the difference because he's your cousin and friend and your only cost would be a weekend's labor and about $500 for the equipment. So you agree.

The next weekend you install the AC and take the motorcycle home and everyone is happy all summer long.

Sometime later you see your cousin and ask how the AC worked over the hot summer. Great! Then, to be polite, you foolishly ask if you owe him anything more for the motorcycle and he says $600.

You are stunned. He's your friend and cousin and you don't want to lose a friend or cause a family stink, but you know that any HVAC company would have charged him at least $1800 and that the motorcycle is probably worth between $700 and $1400.

What do you do?

#2. Several years ago Carol told her friends Linda and Wayne L.,who she worked with, that she was going to trade in her 5-year-old Honda CRV on a new Honda Pilot. They asked her to wait a while because they needed a good used car for their daughter, and the next day they offered her $15,000 although they'd never looked at the car. Carol agreed and then went and bought her new car.

Before they'd paid and picked up the CRV and after Carol bought the Pilot with no trade-in, Wayne asked if he could take the CRV to CarMax to get it evaluated (thus cheating CarMax of their inspection services because nobody had any intention of selling them the car, but that's a different hypothetical). Carol agreed, and she and Wayne took the car to CarMax, who said that the CRV was in excellent condition and offered Carol $14,000.

She declined, and she and Wayne drove back to his house where Linda and Wayne offered Carol $14,000 because that's what CarMax said it was worth.

In Carol's shoes, what would you do?

The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews

Silver Lining Playbook – I admit that I’ve had a crush on Jennifer Lawrence since I saw the amazing “Winter’s Bone,” a film she carried pretty much on her own. I didn’t see Hunger Games, but that’s when I realized she is hotter as a brunette. So I had no resistance to seeing Silver Linings Playbook despite the fact the male lead was Bradley Cooper, who is best known for The Hangover.

It was nice to see he could act a bit too, although here Lawrence and Robert DeNiro are the best things to see. Cooper stars as Avery Cross, who has just returned home from a hospital/halfway house. A former substitute teacher, he beat the hell out of another teacher he caught in the shower with his wife. Still not completely mentally stable, and on medication (when he takes it), Avery clings to the idea that he and his wife are getting back together. This is despite the fact that she has a restraining order on him, has moved out of town, and wants nothing to do with him. In the meantime, he moves back home with his parents, DeNiro and Jacki Weaver.

A friend (John Ortiz) invites Avery to dinner at his home (with the semi-blessings of his wife Julia Stiles), and there we get to see him in unrestrained action, blurting out whatever is on his mind and asking inappropriate questions even when warned not to mention certain subjects. We also meet the other dinner guest, Stiles’ sister Tiffany (Lawrence). After some brief arguments and comparing the various medications they’ve taken, Tiffany says she wants to go home and asks Avery to walk her there. He does, and his awkward refusal of Tiffany’s offer to have sex with him “if we keep the lights off” is an apropos beginning of their friendship.

Tiffany and Avery are both battling inner demons and issues with the past. Tiffany is attracted to Avery, but Avery is still hung up on his wife and their imaginary, wonderful marriage. So Tiffany agrees to help Avery contact his wife (through letters she will secretly get to her when they see each other) if Avery will agree to help her with a project she is finding increasingly important to her. The bargain is made, and the story takes off.

Bradley Cooper does a decent job (he’s a bit too cartoonish at times, but his character rings true more often than not), but it is Jennifer Lawrence who really projects the multidimensional, complicated motivations of someone with mental issues. Chris Tucker appears a few times in an understated role as one of Avery’s friends from the hospital, and in many ways he is the grounding force around all these crazy people (along with Jacki Weaver). And the crazies include DeNiro, who has lost his job and is now making his living as a bookie. He and his son share similar anger and OCD-type issues, and DeNiro is outrageously superstitious when it comes to watching the Eagles play football on television (he can’t go to the games personally because he has been banned from the stadium).

As a romantic comedy the film works, but if you have experience with people in real life who can’t let go of things in the past (hmm, sounds like the story of my life) you will realize how honest these characters are drawn. So it can be much more than a romantic comedy if you feel the connection to it. If not, enjoy it anyway and lust after Jennifer Lawrence like I do (as long as she keeps dying her hair).

Mama – A somewhat typical horror film (minus the obligatory fake documentary half these films seem to include nowadays), Mama isn’t great but it has its moments and isn’t a true disappointment.

The film opens with the results of an office shooting. A man has killed his estranged wife and his boss, and returns home to grab his two young daughters before the police catch up with him. Driving on deserted, icy forest and mountain roads, he wrecks the car, but after walking for some time in the freezing cold they come upon a deserted cabin. Here he deposits his daughters before “something” drags him off.

Five years later, Lucas (Nikolaj Koster-Waldau) has not given up on finding his brother or his two nieces, and he continues to spend all the money he has on a search for answers of what happened to them. With his rocker girlfriend Annabel (Jessica Chastain) supporting and laughing at this string of hope, their world changes when the girls are found alive in the cabin. They’re semi-feral, but Dr. Dreyfuss (Daniel Kash) from a medical institute is treating them with therapy and hypnosis. Because he wants continued access to the girls, he offers Lucas and Annabel free use of a home owned by the institute and his support in the fight over who will care for the girls (an aunt wants to take them herself). Annabel is not really interested in being an instant mother, especially for two strange, wild girls who talk to the walls and at first will eat only cherries. But she loves Lucas and does not want to desert him. So the bargain is made, and the four move into the home.

Dr. Dreyfuss explains that the girls created a mythical figure to care for them while they grew up alone in the cabin, a being they refer to only as Mama. That’s pretty much the hook in the story. Who is Mama? Is she one of the girls, acting in a different personality? Was she someone real? Or someTHING real? And has she followed them to this house to keep caring for and protecting them?

The film is rated PG-13 so you know there isn’t much in the way of visible violence or blood. Part investigative mystery, part horror film, I guess it reminds me of the films of the late 60’s or early 70’s. You’ll jump a couple of times, and you’ll be interested in the the story and how it might resolve itself, but you won’t fall in love with Mama. It’s just a decent film, nothing more.

Seen on DVD – The Devil Inside (B-, aside from the typical “documentary” aspect, there are a few scares, and the discussions about possession versus psychological or physical ailment are interesting).

Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column

Andy Lischett I'd like to add a 24th to my 23 Tunes from way back. While typing this I took a break to play some Kinks, and one of the suggested videos on the side of the screen was What I Like About You by the Romantics.

[[What I Like About You? Hmmm…request DENIED.]]

Andy York: Not a lot new down here, listening to the first of this year's "Talking Baseball." It's the Express radio announcer's pre-season weekly radio show about the Rangers and baseball in general. Right now, Nolan Ryan is talking about the roster changes since last year.

[[A lot of fans think the Rangers themselves have bombed this offseason. I’m not so sure. I think teams are going to regret some of the contracts handed out.]]

If I get to go to Threadgill's [[to see a Raina Rose/Rebecca Loebe show I told him about]] , it'll be tomorrow night. It's a bit late for me (starting at 8p) as I generally go to bed between 9-10p; but, as I have a dental appointment the next morning I might stay out a bit later than normal.

John Wilman: I don't often contribute to the zine, but I read and enjoyed your so far unpublished piece. The problem I would have with it as an editor is that it isn't really a short story!

I have written a few myself, and have even managed to get one published. More importantly, I have read any number, and the formula really needs an impartial approach, and what is sometimes called "the twist in the tale", a slightly less telegraphed ending.

You are a gifted writer so don't give up, there were actually at least three stories in that one! It is hard for a Brit to advise an American, because I learned most of what I now know by reading P.G.Wodehouse and O'Henry. I am reliably informed that Ernest Hemingway, and more recently Paul Auster are masters of the art on your side of the pond.

I loved your characters, but there was maybe too much detail on the art of the con, be it long or short ..... please forgive me for being so frank, but false praise is no praise at all!

Keep up the good work, Happy New Year (though it will probably be a stinker for all of us!)

[[This is the knd of critique I was looking for. I’ll have to think on it….expand it into something longer, or cut it down? Lots to consider. And isn’t O’Henry a candy bar? Hemingway…hmmm, the guy with the six-toed cats. He was a writer too?]]

Andy York: Went to Threadgill's last night for the Rose & Loebe show.

A Johan Wagner was the opening act and played for about a 1/2 hour. This was followed by about a 10-minute break with around a single 70 minute set by the two. They performed solo songs (with some accompaniment by the other), duo's and an "audience choice" made in their previous show. Part of the time, a violinist joined them.

Very nice show, good music and quite enjoyable. I just might go back next Tuesday, even if it is a bit late to get home at 10:30p for my usual 4:20a wake-up (fortunately, I had a dental appointment this morning and was able to sleep in a bit after last night's show).

I did get a few moments afterwards to talk with Rebecca while picking up an album from each of them along with a duo album. I passed on your message and she related about how helpful and supportive you were after her car was broken into. She thinks VERY highly of you and is very appreciative that you were there for her during that time.

You make a difference!

[[Rebecca must have confused me with someone else.]]

Jack McHugh: Richard Dreyfus is in pics #4 & #6 but I have no idea since he spent the whole 70's & 80's and part of the 90's doing coke and putting out forgettable movies, usually romantic comedies in which he gets the girl--which given his looks and height i still don't understand...

[[You just wanted Marsha Mason for yourself.]]

Dick Martin: too bad about the baseball pool - i was the only one who picked the team that ended up with the best record in the majors (as my one and only pick), yet got zero points. don't think you'll see that again anytime soon! this year i think anybody who doesn't pick the nationals to repeat the division win and maybe go all the way hasn't been paying attention.

[[They seem to be building quite a team there. Do they get good crowds? Fan support ought to be high considering Washington D.C. is just about the best-growing job market in the nation.]]

Per Westling: Enjoyed Barbara Kent's travelogue. Have been to south coast of Turkey once which of course is much different than Instanbul. Hope to get to that interesting town someday. Greece I have never been there but it feels like I had, with "Mama Mia" for example... Well, I will try to go there someday as well. Too many places I want to travel to and too little time (and resources ;-))...

Just a minor correction to the facts presented:

- Rotterdam is the largest port in Europe

- Longest coastline in Europe is Norway (with all those fjords)

[[She was probably just testing your knowledge.]]

The Twisting Tale

This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words. If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up. We need more particpants! Email me at dougray30@yahoo.com if you’d like to participate!

Chapter 18 – by Paraic Reddington

As James Minor ambled along the sun-dappled pavement by the canal he could nearly see the grass growing back into the ground. The correlation between the events of the future and those of the present is astoundingly clear. There is no doubt that what will happen has an enormous effect on what is happening now, just as today’s actions will retcon the past. The concept of the unravelling timescape is almost too much for any but the most drug-addled mind to grasp – like a handful of clothes pegs. He stopped at the water’s edge and peered at the inky blackness of the grand canal. His accusatory eyes glared back at him. They saw right through him. He felt like his brain was exposed for all to see. No hiding place could secrete the lies and horrors that he had and would inflict. He absentmindedly tossed the weapon at his face. He couldn’t bear the horrible Munch-like distortion of his reflection and so he turned and walked on. But he knew the reflection was still there and would be there for all the eternal past like the gun that now lay at the bottom of the canal through all of history. There is no escaping your past.

James and Steven were identical twin brothers, two sons of a wretched alcoholic butcher by the name of Willem Minor. Willem was lost to them now. He lived out his dwindling days in the envious blissful ignorance of a bewildered mind. The boys were left to fend for themselves. Their mother had left before they had a chance to stand up for her. There was nobody there for them. Nobody to explain to them why things happened. Then again, more often than not there was no reason. Reason is the hiding place of the weak-minded.

The brothers were now forty and each had lived a different life in a different time. Although separated by many miles and nearly a century of spent experiences, they were undoubtedly connected. James pinched his finger and felt reassured that Steven would feel the same sensation in the past. He had to somehow get a message to his brother. A warning. There was no telling what calamities could have happened years ago if he didn’t do something to stop them now. He looked at his watch – four hours to the deadline. He left the canal behind him and headed back toward the smog soaked city. His lab lay in a non-descript street on the outskirts of the great monstropolis. He still had much work to do before the Mobius loop came round again. It only happened once every 2 months so he had to make sure he was ready. The chiral relationship he had with his brother depended on it. Maybe even his life, God only knew.

He reached his lab just as the first dark clouds started to gather. “Not long now before the storm comes” he thought. His London had so much in common with his brother’s Seattle. Two sides of the same strip, separated by time and connected by blood. He locked the door and powered up the machine.

Next up – Chapter 19 by Doug Kent

LIFEBOAT!

A game of survival, bad breath, and fish odor…

This is the simple game of Lifeboat. Everyone plays this, whether you participate or not. Each turn everyone still alive in the lifeboat may make a single vote to throw someone off the lifeboat, or a single vote to remove one vote from yourself (a defensive measure). The high vote getter is thrown overboard, as well as any player getting 2 or more net votes (due to the damage caused when Sanka was tossed overboard). In a tie, everyone with that score is thrown over. Last one in the boat wins. I’ll probably give a prize, as usual. Press is encouraged. Note that the votes themselves are NOT revealed. I just simply announce who is thrown overboard. If you’re not listed as in the lifeboat right now but want to be, email me and I will add you next issue. If you are listed and don’t’ want to be…well, too bad. There is no suicide in this game; you just can ignore it if you want to.

Currently in the lifeboat:

Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jwmchughjr@gmail.com

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #51

The company I work for lost their contract, and so I was laid off. Again. I was supposed to get a few more weeks work, but then they realized I hadn’t even been fully set-up in the system yet, so there wasn’t anything I could do for those last few weeks. I feel like thr fucking Chicago Cubs, except they win a few games.

The only positive is that since I had already gotten myself into the substitute teacher system in New Jersey, I was able to start taking on days of work through that almost immediately. And this flu season is like a boon to me; plenty of teachers are missing days. Of course I am still pissed off; I’d turned down an interview or two recently because I already had a good job and didn’t want to switch unless they were going to pay me a decent amount of additional money. Now those jobs are gone, and I’m stuck with bratty schoolkids.

Not that any of you asshats care. Sackiepoo at least listens to me complain on IM, but the rest of you wouldn’t notice if I lived or died. So screw you.

Excerpts from my recent reading

By Paul Milewski

From Native Tongues by Charles Berlitz (ISBN 0-7858-1827-8), page 42:

Hiroshima and Nagasaki might have been spared the atom bomb if a single Japanese word had been translated differently. The word was mokusatsu, which can mean either “ignore,” “withhold comment,” or “have no comment.” Before dropping the first atom bomb, the United States warned Japan of a new weapon and gave the Japanese government the chance to surrender in order to avoid overpowering destruction to its cities. The Imperial Government announced internationally that, pending cabinet discussion of the development, it was following a policy of mokusatsu. This verb was translated as “ignore”—and the Bomb was dropped.

Also From Native Tongues by Charles Berlitz, page 76:

Shakespeare used the stratagem of foreign-word sound-alikes to provoke laughs from his audiences. In Henry V, act 3, scene 4, Katharine, the French princess who is to wed Henry V, receives an English lesson from Alice, her lady-in-waiting. As the lesson progresses, Alice points to parts of the body and to items of clothing and tells the princess their English names. This provokes a running commentary from Katherine in French, which the audience was expected to follow. After practicing a number of English words, Katherine asks in French how to say pied and robe in English. Alice tells her “the foot” and “the gown.” When Katherine repeats these words with a French accent, they come out as “de fout” and “de coun,” sounding exactly like the X-rated French words for sexual union and the female organ, respectively. Katherine is startled and exclaims in French that these English words “sound bad, corruptible, rude, immodest, and not for ladies of honor to use,” adding that she would not use them “before the lords of France.” But then she hesitates and reflects that they “are nevertheless necessary”—no doubt bringing down the house with this final observation.

I occasionally run across a real gem. This is from The Assault on Truth: Freud’s Suppression of the Seduction Theory by Jeffrey Masson (ISBN 0-345-42579-8), pages 57-61:

In Freud’s copy of Fliess’s 1902 book, Űber den ursächlichen Zusammenhang von Nase und Geschlechtsorgan (On the Causal Connection between the Nose and the Sexual Organ), there is a marked passage (p. 8) which reads: “Women who masturbate are generally dysmenorrheal. They can only be finally cured through an operation on the nose if they truly give up this bad practice.”

…If Freud had told Fliess that Emma Eckstein’s problems had to do with menstruation and that she masturbated, it would have been only natural for Fliess to suggest nasal surgery, followed by psychological treatment to prevent the recurrence of masturbation, as the only hope of curing her. This was certainly a revolutionary idea, one that would have appeared as bizarre to Freud’s medical colleagues as his own views did. Perhaps the unorthodoxy of Fliess’s methods encouraged Freud to believe they contained an unrecognized truth. In any event, he seems not to have hesitated in handing over Emma Eckstein to Fliess.

…On March 4, 1895, Freud writes Fliess about Emma Eckstein:

Eckstein’s condition is still unsatisfactory; persistent swelling, going up and down “like an avalanche”; pain, so that morphine cannot be dispensed with; bad nights. The purulent secretion has been decreasing since yesterday; the day before yesterday (Saturday) she had a massive hemorrhage, probably as a result of expelling a bone chip the size of a “Heller” [a small coin]; there were two bowlfuls of pus. Today we encountered resistance to irrigation; and since the pain and the visible edema had increased, I let myself be persuaded to call in Gersuny. (By the way, he greatly admired an etching of “The Isle of the Dead” [by Böcklin].) He explained that the access was considerably narrowed and insufficient for drainage, inserted a drainage tube, and threatened to break it [the bone?] open if that did not stay in. To judge by the smell, all this is most likely correct. Please send me your authoritative advice. I am not looking forward to new surgery on this girl.

Ouch.

ZERO SUM, Subzine to Eternal Sunshine, Issue 10 January 27, 2012

YAHTZEE AND YAHTZEE VARIANTS

Rules for regular Yahtzee published in Eternal Sunshine #65. Scoring and play modified from Milton Bradley’s Yahtzee Game copyrighted 1982. Hasbro lists the official rules at: http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/Yahtzee.pdf

GM Musings:

Superbowl Sunday is following release of Eternal Sunshine. We have a new mega-alcohol retailer in town, “Total Wine.” Its store makes “BevMo” seem medium-sized and over-priced. Recent conversation with assistant manager confirmed my suspicion. On SB Sunday, men will run into the stores, grab beer in massive quantities and run to the shortest cash register aisle. All aisles will be open all day until well after the game ends. Yes, some guys run in like wide receivers going deep, including feints down the wrong aisles to gain potential advantage over those running behind them and trying to get past so they can get back before Janet Jackson shows her boobs, or whatever happens at half-time these days.

My son is very happy to be able to root again for his hometown SF 49'ers, as he hated Alex Smith. Colin K did quite a job against the Packers and then the Falcons, further extending the Niner's NFL best record in the playoffs. Apparently the odds makers have decided not to discount his performance and potential and installed the Niners as large favorites, only to see it whittle down to a more reasonable but substantial margin. Since son, Alexander, lives in NOLA, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him in a crowd shot at the game. I hope he waits until minutes before the opening kick-off to buy a scalped ticket (legal in NOLA), on the chance he can get in below face value.

I keep messing up Yahtzee postings and play. I’ve changed the format, hopefully to improve understanding of the display of data and to reduce my chances of another major mess-up. I offer all players a 1) refund of their entrance fees; 2) a vote as to whether or not to start over; and, (3)a no-hard-feelings-if-you-want-to-drop-out opportunity.

Root Cause Analysis appears to be 1) poorly designed system, 2) Insufficient training of data entry staff, 3) allowing data entry staff and QC staff to drink alcohol while working, 4) lack of management deadline setting with staff, 5) inadequate QC process and time 6) Staff initiating work too late in each monthly cycle to not be overly stressed by lack of the resource time and 7) staff confirmations born out that the boss and shareholders are idiots. In formulaic terms, this approximates RWBrain + EtOH level = Zero. (Please, no one point out that this holds true no matter the value inputted for EtOH. That includes Ph.D.s in Finance.)

Orders Due: 24 February Noon Pacific Time. If not submitted, I will assume you chose Offer #3.

Game Offerings: None

Potential Game Offerings: None.

Yahtzee Game: Kim Philby

At the End of Round 4, Roll 2:

Player: What Each Kept

Doug Kent 1,2,3,4

Kevin Wilson 1,1,1

Geoff Kemp 1,1,2,3

Dane Maslen 1,2,3,4

The sequential order of dice available now are: 1,5

For the next issue of Zero Sum, send in where and what you want to score for Round 4.

At the End of Round 5, Roll 2:

Player: What Each Kept

Doug Kent 4,5,6,6

Kevin Wilson 6,6,6,2,2

Geoff Kemp 6,6,6

Dane Maslen 6,6,6

The sequential order of dice available now are: 3,1

For the next issue of Zero Sum, send in where and what you want to score for Round 5.

At the End of Round 6, Roll 1:

Player: What Each Kept

Doug Kent 2, 2, 2

Kevin Wilson 2, 2, 2

Geoff Kemp 2, 2, 2

Dane Maslen 2, 2, 2

The sequential order of dice available now are: 1, 6

For the next issue of Zero Sum, send in the dice you want to keep at the end of Round 6, Roll2.

Scoring at the End of Round 3

*Upper*	Doug Kent	Kevin Wilson	Geoff Kemp	Dane Maslen
Ace = 1	1
Twos = 2
Threes = 3
Fours = 4
Fives = 5	15 (Rd3)	15 (Rd3)
Sixes = 6	24	24
*Total*
Bonus +35 if >63
*Total Upper*
*Lower*
3 of a Kind			24 (Rd3)
4 of a Kind			28	28
Full House = 25				25 (Rd3)
Sm Straight = 30		30		30
Lg Straight = 40			40
YAHTZEE = 50
Chance
Yahtzee Bonus
*Total Lower*
GRAND TOTAL	40	69	92	83

Zero Sum NCAA Football Bowl Game: Bill Bellichik

Three times I’ve noticed that I have mispelled the name of this game/contest as, “NCAA Footbowl Contest.” Thank you each for participating. I think we all won for participating.

The winner of the 2012 NCAA Fooball Bowl Pool Contest for Eternal Sunshine via ZeroSum is: LINDA RYAN, with 7 winners and a net + points of 16.

She and Kevin Wilson tied with seven winners. Linda had the lower + points (16 to Kevin's 18). I think, given the rules regarding allowable point spread maximum, 7 is the most winners anyone could have picked, even knowing the outcomes in advance.

Not surprisingly, most people picked one favorite and one underdog in the two games with the largest point spreads. Linda and Kevin picked Louisville over Florida and went with Florida State over Northern Illinois. Those picks, instead of the opposite for those two games, made a significant difference.

If the contest had allowed someone to pick all the favorites, 8 favorites won. Only two upsets. If I'd known anything about the Heisman Trophy Contests or who Johnny Football was, I'd have gone with the Aggies.

Bowl	Covers.com	Richard Weiss	Linda Ryan	Kevin wilson	Marc Ellinger	Jack McHugh	Doug Kent	Michael Quirk	Linda	Kevin
Chick-fil-A	Tigers +3.5	LSU	Clemson	LSU	Clemson	LSU	LSU	LSU	-3.5	-3.5
Outback	Gamecocks +5	SC	Mich	USC	Mich	Mich	Mich	Mich	-5	5
Capital One	Bulldogs +8.5	GA	GA	GA	GA	Bulldogs	Neb	GA	8.5	8.5
Rose	The Cardinal +6	Stanford	Stanford	Wisc	Wisc	Wisc	Stanford	Wisc	6	-6
Orange	Seminoles +13.5	NI	FSU	FSU	NI	FSU	Nor Ill	FSU	13.5	13.5
Sugar	Gators +14.5	FL	Louisville	L'ville	FL	Louisville	Louisville	FL	-14.5	-14.5
Fiesta	Ducks +8	KS	Ducks	Oregon	OR	Kans St	Oregon	Kstate	8	8
Cotton	Aggies +4	OK	OK	OK	Tex A&M	OK	A&M	OK	-4	-4
GoDaddy	Red Wolves +2	KS	K State	Ark St	Kent St		Ark State	Ark State	-2	2
BCS Title	Crimson Tide +9	Bama	Ala	Bama	Bama	Bama	Bama	ND	9	9
	74								16	18
	Winners (in yellow)	4	7	7	5	4	5	3

Woolworth II-D (cb19)

by Glen Overby & Fred C. Davis Jr., 1981

Rules re-written and map drawn by Andrew Poole for Ten Best Diplomacy Variants (a.k.a UKVB Package 2).

All the usual rules of Diplomacy (1971 rulebook) apply, except where amended below.

Woolworth Diplomacy is a five-player variant. There are ten Great Powers in the game, each player controls two of these : a 'public' power which is known to all players, and a 'secret' power known only to the controlling player and the g.m.

Three Great Powers (Balkans, Scandinavia and Spain) are added to the regular seven. The initial set up for all the powers is as follows :

AUSTRIA	F(Trieste),	A(Budapest),	A(Vienna).
BALKANS	A(Bulgaria),	A(Serbia),	F(Greece).
ENGLAND	F(London),	F(Edinburgh),	A or F (Lpl).
FRANCE	F(Brest),	A(Paris),	A or F (Mar).
GERMANY	F(Kiel),	A(Munich),	A(Berlin).
ITALY	F(Naples),	A(Venice),	A or F (Rome).
RUSSIA	A(Moscow),	A(Warsaw),	F(Sevastapol), A or F(StP).
SCANDINAVIA	F(Norway),	A(Sweden),	F(Denmark).
SPAIN	A(Portugal),	F(Morocco),	A or F (Mad).
TURKEY	F(Ankara),	A(Con),	A or F (Smy).

All 'choice' set-ups need not be announced until the Spring '01 orders are revealed. Either an army or a fleet may start in these spaces; if the space has two coasts, the fleet may start on either.

Woolworth uses a version of the regular board with significant modifications.

The Powers are assigned to players using the following procedure :

a. Each player submits a list of the ten Great Powers in order of their preferences. Ties are not permitted.

b. Control of the 'public' powers is decided first. Players' first choices are compared : unique first choices are granted, lots are drawn between players where their first choices are identical.

c. Once a player is assigned a power, it is removed from all the players' preference lists.

d. For players who failed to gain their first choices, the process as outlined in b. above is repeated, using the highest choices still available, continuing until all the players have a public power.

e. When there are only five powers remaining, the process is repeated so as to assign the 'secret' powers.

The control of secret powers is never revealed by the g.m, though NMR's may make the relationships apparent. Players may do as they like in this regard, telling or not telling as they please.

As the game is not historically based, it begins in Spring '01 rather than the year 1901.

There are 39 supply centres on the board. The victory condition is 24 centres, which may be reached by a combination of the strength of the public and secret powers belonging to a player. Adjustments are always separately counted for each power, however.

There is a 'Direct Passage' link between Sicily and Naples. This allows units to move directly from one of these provinces to the other without in any way affecting fleet movement between TYS and ION.

New Province Abbreviations :

Notes by Andrew Poole : Woolworth Diplomacy gains its title from the shops of the same name, which originally sold all their goods at prices of 5c and 10c and were commonly called 'fives and tens'. The idea of Woolworth is for each player to be able to control both one 'public' and one 'secret' power. To allow this, the number of Great Powers was increased to ten. The three extra powers were created from groups of neutral supply centres in Scandinavia, the Balkans and Iberia.

However, with the ten Great Powers, from the start of the game there is conflict. The Secret powers make it easier to start wars, whilst each player starting the game with six units make it also more necessary. The Secret powers must do all of their diplomacy through press releases, producing some interesting press. The Secret powers need careful play so as to avoid the identity of their owner being revealed, too much co-ordination between a public and a secret power may give the game away (literally !). There are sudden shifts of alliances as players try to find out who their opponents are. There have been mock wars, and a player may have his public power deliberately eliminated so as to continue the war with just the secret power !

BALKAN WARS VI WESTERN PACIFIC 2012Bpb08

FALL 1910

BACKWARDS OR FORWARDS OR SIDEWAYS OR THATAWAYS

ALBANIA (Burgess): A Montenegro ret TIRANA. A Tirana-Nish, A Valona S A Skopje, A Skopje S A Tirana-Nish

BULGARIA (Kemp): A Sofia S A Plovdiv, A Varna-Arda (NSU), F Varna H, A Plovdiv S A Sofia, A Thrace S A Varna-Arda (NSU as A Varna)

GREECE (McHugh): F Aegean Sea-Thrace, A Salonika S F Aegean Sea-Thrace, F Cyclades-Crete

RUMANIA (Whining Kent Pig): F Constanta- Dubruja, A Bucharest-Sofia, A Dubruja-Kolarovo

SERBIA (Murphy): A Skopje retreat MACEDONIA; A Montenegro H, A Nish S A Macedonia-Skopje, A Macedonia-Skopje

TURKEY (Whyte): A Arda S F Constantnople-Varna, F Constantinople-Varna, F Eastern Mediterranean Sea-Rhodes

Emails:

Jim Burgess, jfburgess@gmail.com

Geoff Kemp, ggeoff510@aol.com

Jack McHugh, jwmchughjr@gmail.com

Doug Kent, dougray30@yahoo.com

Phil Murphy, philip.murphy@skynet.ie

Brendan Whyte, obiwonfive@hotmail.com

Underlined moves do not succeed. The Bulgarian A Thrace is dislodged and may retreat to Constantinople or off the board. The Bulgarian F Varna is dislodged and may retreat to South Black Sea or off the board.

The 1910 supply center chart:

ALBANIA: ~~montenegro~~, valona, tirana, skopje (3) EVEN

BULGARIA: ~~thrace~~, sofia, plovdiv, ~~varna~~, constantinople? (2 or 3) SEE BELOW*

GREECE: home, thrace, crete (5) BUILD TWO

RUMANIA: home, dubruja (4) BUILD ONE

SERBIA: ~~skopje~~, nish, belgrade, montenegro (3) EVEN

TURKEY: ~~constantinople?,~~ izmit, smyrna, varna, rhodes (4 or 5) BUILD ONE OR TWO**

*-if Bulgaria retreat A Thrace to Constantinople, it will have 3 centers and can keep 3 units. If it retreats pff the board, it will have 2 centers and can keep two units. In either case, if F Varna retreats to South Black Sea Bulgaria must REMOVE ONE; otherwise even.

**-depending on Bulgarian retreat

The Winter 1910 and Spring 1911 deadline is 3 p.m. Feb. 22. Remember no seasons are ever separated here; conditional orders are of course accepted.

The most recent delay caused by holidays, being swamped at work and a bit of laziness, I promise to do better.

There was a request for a map each season. I hate maps, generally (just another place to make mistake) but if someone can show me a way to do one and get it to Doug, yes, I will provide one each turn.

My contact info: Brad Wilson, 713 Tasker St. #1, Philadephia, PA 19148; 215-668-5522 voice/text; bwdolphin146@yahoo.com or fullfathomfive675@gmail.com.

As a GM I like to participate in the press. My dateline is PHILADELPHIA and that is the ONLY dateline off-limits to you as players. Otherwise fire away!!!

PLAYLIST: Shostakovich, Symphony No. 5 (Bernstein/NYPO, recorded 1979, Sony) 8/8 (performace/sound) (a wonderfully direct version of the work, not as good as Lenny's 1959 heaven-storrming masterpiece because that recording's sound, from Boston's Symphony Hall, is better); Shostakovich, Symphony No. 1 (Bernstein/CSO, DG) 7/10 (a good performance but nothing like the all-time classic of a Shostakovich 7th it is paired with. Terrific, hard-hitting sound from DG here too. But as a performance stick to Ashkenazy (London) or Ormandy (Sony).

PRESS

ALBANIAN BOOB to CROWN PRINCE OF SERBIA: We seem to be at war, not sure it's helping either of us.....

PHILADELPHIA: Given that you're both even you may be right.

BELGRADE -> SUPREME HEADQUARTERS OF THE SERBIAN ARMED FORCES:

To all Serbian Commanders:

The Serbian telegraph services are now back in commission. The Bavarian Illuminati are suspected of cutting the main cable between Belgrade and the outside world. Several suspected conspirators have been arrested and will face a military tribunal before being shot for treason.

Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: None. Needs seven more.

Woolworth II-B (Black Press): Five player, 10-power European variant where one of your powers is public and one is private. Signed Up: Heath Gardner, Jim Burgess. Needs three more. Rules and map in this issue. Will be run in “No NMR” format, where a player who NMR’s is removed from the game but the game is delayed for the replacement, allowing secret powers to remain secret.

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant. Rules are in ES #47. Join in at any time!

By Almost Popular Demand: Starts this issue. Same as By Popular Demand, except the top choice in every category scores zero. Join at any time.

Eternal Sunshine Movie Photo Quiz: Join anytime. When this is over the next quiz will either be quotes again, or maybe overly-simple plot descriptions.

Lifeboat: Everybody plays, whether you actually do anything or not.

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?: Rules in ES #58. Join anytime!

Coming Soon?: Youngstown IV, 1898, Colonia VII-B. If you’re interested in one of these variants, let me know.

Standby List: HELP! I need standby players! – Current standby list: Richard Weiss, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Hank Alme, Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, Marc Ellinger, Heath Gardner, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill. When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it. If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch. If you have specific game requests please let me know.

Eternal Sunshine Game Section

Acquire – “Winterbloom”

Players: Tom Howell, Hank Alme, Per Westling, and Martin Burgdorf.

Turn 2

Howell: Plays 1-A and buys 3 Worldwide.

Alme: Plays 4-E and forms American. Gets 1 free and buys 3 more shares.

Westling: Plays 3-A, buys 3 American.

Burgdorf: Plays 4-C.

Howell: Plays 3-G and buys 3 Worldwide.

Turn Order for Turn 3: Hank Alme, Per Westling, Martin Burgdorf, Tom Howell, Hank Alme.

Deadline for Turn 3 is February 25^th at 7pm my time.

Kremlin – “Four Stitches”

Players: Jack McHugh - Communist Party Against Reform (CRAP), Rick Desper - The Rusty Curtain (RUST), Jim Burgess - Chylak's Galicians (CG), Mark Firth - Trixci (TRI), and Geoff Kemp - Refuseniks (REF).

Turn 2-B

Starting Politburo:

Party Chief: L, Igor Doberman, 68, CRAP 9
KGB: Y, Ulan Putschnik, 53, (Strong), CRAP 10

Foreign: Q, Tigran Zenjarplan, 60, (Strong) CRAP 6, RUST 5

Defense: C, Alexej Goferbrok, 74, (Strong) CRAP 2

Ideology: U, Wassily Protzky, 58, (Weak), CRAP 6

Industry: D, Petr Niewitko, 73 (Strong), CG 2.

Economy: W, Leonid Bungaloff, 54, CG 5, RUST 4, CRAP 3

Sport: E, Karel Krakemheds 72, +, CG 2, TRI 1.

Candidates:, B 75, F 71, H 69, S 58, T 57

People: G 70, I 68, J 67, K 66, N 63, O 62, P 61, R 59, V 55, X 53, Z 50.

Siberia: A 82 +

Waves: CRAP has 1.

Phase 6 – Replacement Phase: No activity.

Phase 7 – Rehabilitation Phase: No activity.

Phase 8 – Parade Phase: L waves. CRAP now has 2 waves.

Ending Politburo:

Party Chief: L, Igor Doberman, 68, CRAP 9
KGB: Y, Ulan Putschnik, 53, (Strong), CRAP 10

Foreign: Q, Tigran Zenjarplan, 60, (Strong) CRAP 6, RUST 5

Defense: C, Alexej Goferbrok, 74, (Strong) CRAP 2

Ideology: U, Wassily Protzky, 58, (Weak), CRAP 6

Industry: D, Petr Niewitko, 73 (Strong), CG 2.

Economy: W, Leonid Bungaloff, 54, CG 5, RUST 4, CRAP 3

Sport: E, Karel Krakemheds 72, +, CG 2, TRI 1.

Candidates:, B 75, F 71, H 69, S 58, T 57

People: G 70, I 68, J 67, K 66, N 63, O 62, P 61, R 59, V 55, X 53, Z 50.

Siberia: A 82 +

Waves: CRAP has 2.

PRESS

CG to CRAP: What can we say, but OH CRAP. How can you not have waved a second time?

Deadline for Turn 3 through Health Phase is February 25^th at 7pm my time.

Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, F 21

Austria (Martin Burgdorf – martin_burgdorf “of” hotmail.com): A Belgium Hold, F Brest Hold,

A Budapest Supports A Ukraine - Rumania (*Cut*), A Denmark Hold, A Gascony - Spain (*Fails*),

A Holland Hold, A Kiel Supports A Denmark, A Marseilles Supports A Gascony - Spain (*Cut*),

A Moscow - Sevastopol (*Fails*), A Norway Hold, A Picardy Supports F Brest, A Ruhr – Burgundy,

A St Petersburg Supports A Norway, ~~F Trieste - Venice~~ (*Disbanded*), A Tyrolia - Piedmont (*Fails*),

A Ukraine - Rumania (*Fails*), A Vienna Supports A Budapest.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” yahoo.com): No Moves Received! F Helgoland Bight Hold,

A London Hold, F Norwegian Sea Hold.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): F Adriatic Sea Supports F Venice – Trieste,

F Albania Supports F Venice – Trieste, F Black Sea Supports A Sevastopol, A Bulgaria Supports A Rumania,

F English Channel - Brest (*Fails*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F English Channel – Brest,

F Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*), A Rumania Supports A Serbia - Budapest (*Cut*),

A Serbia - Budapest (*Fails*), A Sevastopol Supports A Rumania (*Cut*), F Skagerrak – Sweden,

F Spain(sc) Supports F Piedmont - Marseilles (*Cut*), F Venice - Trieste.

Would Hank Alme (almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu) standby for England?

W 21/S 22 Deadline is February 26th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Belgium, Berlin, Brest, Budapest, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Moscow, Munich,

Norway, Paris, St Petersburg, Venice, Vienna, Warsaw=16, Even

England: Edinburgh, Liverpool, London=3, Even

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Naples, Portugal, Rome, Rumania, Serbia,

Sevastopol, Smyrna, Spain, Sweden, Trieste, Tunis=15, Build 2

PRESS

Martin => Boob (whoever this is): There are no garrisons in Dippy. They exist only in Mac. Mac is played in Chassler S.O.B. Leave Dulcinea and register for Rescue Dogleg S.O.B.

“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse

Billy Ray Valentine: Probably in his limousine.

Duke of York: Killed by William Wallace.

Smaug the Dragon: Brushing his teeth.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Crowns and 500 Pounds. Buys 843 Piastres.

Baron Wuffet: Who?

Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 Crowns. Buys 641 Pounds, 64 Piastres.

VAIONT Enterprises: Sells 500 Piastres. Buys 499 Crowns.

Insider Trading LLC: Nothing.

Bourse Master: Yawn.

PRESS

Rothschild to Smaug: Congratulations for leaving last place!

Baggins to Smaug: There's so much there, you should share a little bit of it.

SMAUG to MIDDLE EARTH: Barrel rider, indeed! I'd have gotten those pesky dwarves - and that mangy hobbit too - if it wasn't for that lucky arrow in the dark. King Bard, indeed! *snorts flames*

SMAUG to VAIONT: One does try to keep up appearances... a little armour implant here... a scale tuck there... but never a hot magma implant. It's more trouble than it's worth, and you leak flames for a week!

Next Bourse Deadline is February 25^th at 7:00pm my time

Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, F 20

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): F Trieste SHELLS PIAZZA DI SAN MARCO FOR HIGH

CAFÉ PRICES (Holds), A Budapest Supports F Trieste, A Vienna Supports F Trieste.

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): F Belgium Hold, F Bulgaria(sc) Hold,

F Constantinople Supports F Bulgaria(sc) (*Cut*), F Edinburgh Hold, F English Channel Hold, A London Hold,

A Moscow Hold, F Naples Hold, F Norway Hold, A Paris Hold, A Picardy Supports F Belgium,

F Smyrna Supports F Constantinople, F Spain(sc) Hold, A St Petersburg Supports A Moscow,

F Western Mediterranean - Tunis.

France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): No units.

Germany (Harley Jordan – harleyj “of” alum.mit.edu): A Ankara Hold, A Armenia Supports A Ankara,

A Burgundy Supports A Marseilles, F Denmark Hold, A Greece Hold, F Holland Hold,

A Marseilles Supports A Burgundy, A Rome Supports A Venice, A Rumania Supports A Sevastopol,

A Serbia Supports A Rumania, A Sevastopol Hold, F Sweden Hold, A Venice Supports A Rome, A Warsaw Hold.

Russia (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): F Black Sea - Constantinople (*Fails*).

Now Proposed – Concession to Germany, E/G Draw. Please vote, NVR=No

W 20/S 21 Deadline is February 26th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Budapest, Trieste, Vienna=3, Even

England: Belgium, Brest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Moscow, Naples,

Norway, Paris, Smyrna, Spain, St Petersburg, Tunis=15, Even

France: Portugal=1, Plays 1 Short

Germany: Ankara, Berlin, Denmark, Greece, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Rome, Rumania,

Serbia, Sevastopol, Sweden, Venice, Warsaw=15, Build 1

Russia: None=0, OUT!!

PRESS:

Sochi (Oct 31, 1920): Admiral Smirnov drank heavily, "Da, the English pigs and German swine have it their way. What they arrange will one day be arranged for them, sooner than they can see." With that the Admiral fell off his chair and passed out.

(BOOB to DUCK): Somehow I think Harley and Fred are just toying with you.

AUS to G/E: Well, that took considerably longer than it should have, wot?

AUSTRIA to RUSSIA: I told you to stay out of GAL. It’s taken to 1920, but we old Teutons – even the Anglo-Saxon branch of the family, really know how to stick together. Next time, try not to be so stab happy. We’ll both have a better game.

DON to HANK: Well played. I knew you were better at this game than Jim.

WILLIAMS to PRESS ZOMBIE OF SMITH STREET: Squelching evil is almost EXACTLY what I’ve been doing, at least by proxy. Russia started this by stabbing me three times as I turned to take on the E/G duo. I’d say the right guy is getting gunned down by the black hatters in the dirty, dusty streets of Ankara … and it ain’t my fault.

Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, Summer 12

Game Ends in A/E/T Draw

Heath Gardner took over for England. Jeff O’Donnell returned as France.

EOG Statements and Report Next Issue

EOG Deadline is February 26th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Replacement Heath to All: Anybody home? I'm for a DIAS draw but I can see A/T would like to fight on.

TUNIS: Did we regret this? Don't leave Aeneas! Dido loves you so!!!!!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, W 12/S 13

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations. All press submitted will be printed.

Austria (Rick Desper): Build F Trieste, A Vienna.. A Belgium - Picardy (*Fails*),

A Budapest - Rumania (*Fails*), F Eastern Mediterranean Supports F Syria – Smyrna,

A Galicia Supports A Rumania – Ukraine, A Greece Supports A Serbia – Bulgaria,

F Gulf of Lyon Supports A Spain, F Ionian Sea - Aegean Sea (*Fails*), A Kiel – Denmark, A Munich – Berlin,

A North Africa – Tunis, A Rumania – Ukraine, A Serbia – Bulgaria, A Spain Hold, F Syria – Smyrna,

F Trieste Hold, A Vienna - Bohemia.

England (John Biehl): F Barents Sea - Norwegian Sea, A Brest Hold, F Finland - Gulf of Bothnia,

F Gascony - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*), F Liverpool - Irish Sea, A Picardy - Belgium (*Fails*),

A St Petersburg – Livonia, F Wales - English Channel.

France (Tom Howell): A Paris Hold, F Portugal - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*).

Russia (Italy Must Win): Remove A Silesia.. F Black Sea Supports A Sevastopol – Rumania,

~~A Bulgaria Supports A Sevastopol - Rumania~~ (*Disbanded*), A Moscow Hold, A Sevastopol - Rumania.

Turkey (Brad Wilson): F Aegean Sea Hold, F Constantinople – Ankara, F Smyrna - Constantinople.

F 13 Deadline is February 26th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Anon: Es ist mir scheissegal ob Oesterreicht gewinnt oder nicht, aber ich will, dass irgendwie dieses bloedes Spiel zu Ende kommt!

(ITALY MUST WIN to DOUG): I sincerely apologize, I nailed it last turn.

Austria Must Not Win: Wouldn't it be something (nice) if all my orders won the random rolls.

Nobody Must Win: Just wait till next Everbody Plays and I'll 'fix' all your red wagons just 'fine'.

Roma: Your correspondent here in Rome has been enjoying the peace and quiet of the pax Vienna brought by the kindly Habsburg emperor. The wine flows freely and next year's olive crop is expected to be the largest ever. The only item in short supply here is news. The constant churning of the local leadership has all of the locals focused on the perpetually imminent election and no one has time to import newspapers across any of the international borders. What little news that has leaked in has been watery and confusing - due to lack of substance.

Some of the international press here have contributed clues from letters from home. Nevertheless, the picture of larger European affairs that has formed from the scanty information is one of sloshing. As in, everything goes back and forth. The primary reason seems to be that none of the European powers have been able to stretch their election cycles much beyond that obtaining here in Italy. This is Sylvia Poggioli reporting from Rome.

Vienna; Go go go!

Diplomacy - “Lighthouse” – 2011A – F 07

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): A Trieste - Vienna.

England (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): F Irish Sea Supports A Yorkshire – Wales

(*Cut*), A Yorkshire - Wales.

France (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” gmail.com): F English Channel – Belgium,

F Gulf of Lyon - Western Mediterranean, A Holland Supports A Kiel (*Cut*), A Kiel Supports A Holland,

F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea (*Fails*), A Munich Supports A Kiel, A Piedmont - Tyrolia (*Fails*),

F Rome - Tuscany (*Fails*), F Tunis Hold.

Germany (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): A Edinburgh Hold,

F Helgoland Bight Supports F North Sea – Holland, ~~F North Sea - Holland~~

(*Dislodged*, retreat to English Channel or Skagerrak or Norwegian Sea or Yorkshire or OTB).

Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Retreat A Venice - Tuscany..

~~A Budapest - Trieste~~ (*Disbanded*), A Tuscany - Venice (*Fails*),

A Tyrolia Supports A Budapest - Trieste (*Cut*), A Ukraine – Moscow,

~~A Vienna Supports A Budapest - Trieste~~ (*Disbanded*).

Russia (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): F Adriatic Sea - Trieste (*Bounce*),

F Albania - Ionian Sea, A Berlin Supports A Kiel, A Bohemia Supports A Trieste – Vienna, A Bulgaria – Rumania,

F Constantinople - Aegean Sea, F Denmark Supports F Norway - North Sea,

A Galicia Supports A Trieste – Vienna, F London Supports F Norway - North Sea, F Norway - North Sea,

A Rumania – Budapest, A Serbia Supports A Rumania – Budapest, A Sweden Supports F Denmark,

A Venice - Trieste (*Bounce*).

F/R Draw Fails

W 07/S 08 Deadline is February 26^th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Trieste, Vienna=2, Build 1

England: Liverpool=1, Remove 1

France: Belgium, Brest, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Naples, Paris, Portugal,

Rome, Spain, Tunis=12, Build 3

Germany: Edinburgh=1, Remove 1 or 2

Italy: Moscow=1, Remove 2

Russia: Ankara, Berlin, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Denmark, Greece, London, Norway,

Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Smyrna, St Petersburg, Sweden, Venice, Warsaw=17, Build 3

PRESS

REPUBLIC OF TRIESTE to GM: Why didn’t you put Paul Milewski in RWM? I desperately need help over there and something to lessen Zarrist ambition in those parts would have helped.

GM – RoT: Because I don’t like you, obviously.

REPUBLIC of TRIESTE to ITALY: Well, technically it did used to belong to us, you know.

Germany to All: Bear with me, please!

Diplomacy “Jerusalem” 2012A, W 03/S 04

Austria (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Remove F Albania.. A Budapest Supports A Trieste,

A Galicia – Vienna, ~~A Serbia Supports A Trieste~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to Albania or OTB),

A Trieste Supports A Galicia - Vienna (*Cut*).

England (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): F Barents Sea Supports A Finland - St Petersburg,

A Finland - St Petersburg, F Irish Sea Supports F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

F London - English Channel, F North Sea Supports F London - English Channel,

F Norway Supports A Finland - St Petersburg.

France (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): F Brest Hold, A Gascony Hold,

~~F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Hold~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to Western Mediterranean or North Africa or Portugal or North

Atlantic Ocean or OTB), A Paris Hold, A Spain Hold.

Germany (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): A Burgundy – Marseilles,

F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Munich - Tyrolia (*Fails*), A Picardy - Brest (*Fails*),

A Silesia Supports A Galicia - Warsaw (*Void*).

Italy (Mark Firth – mark.r.firth “of” capita.co.uk): F Adriatic Sea Supports A Venice – Trieste,

F Ionian Sea Supports A Greece - Albania (*Void*), A Tyrolia Supports A Venice - Trieste (*Cut*),

A Venice - Trieste (*Fails*).

Russia (Richard Weiss – richardweiss “of” higherquality.com): A Moscow Supports A St Petersburg,

F Sevastopol Supports A Rumania, ~~A St Petersburg Supports A Finland - Livonia~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to

Livonia or OTB), A Warsaw Supports A Galicia - Silesia (*Void*).

Turkey (Geoff Kemp - ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): Build A Constantinople.. F Aegean Sea Supports A Greece,

F Black Sea Supports A Rumania, A Bulgaria – Serbia, A Constantinople – Bulgaria,

A Greece Supports A Bulgaria – Serbia, A Rumania Supports A Bulgaria - Serbia.

F 04 Deadline is February 26th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Czar Dikkz to Parisian Petulant: I'm with you. What's the point of playing Diplomacy if everyone would rather be playing Gunboat. No one to even lie to me or me to them. No one has replied to a single one of my postcards. I still have a stack somewhere, left over from when people wrote to each other - harder and more time-consuming then emailing.

Board to Ita (Govt): Change of contact noted; but useless, totally useless. See Czar Dikkz to Parisian above.

Ever Helpful Dr. Science to Professor the Boob Who Has Half His Family Somewhat Close To Russian Jews: That's a really long name and probably won't fit on a hand bill. Accept the short name they gave you when you were processed through Ellis Island, wasn't it "ProBoob?" However, it's good to know that you are cranking out hand bills. That will give your hand a job, handing out hand bills, doing a hand job.

HigherQuality to LOWERQUALITY: Here are some outcome measures for you: Time from date of injury to date of return to work, rate of return to work and return to work status, total dollars cost in system per case. Composite asphalt shingles for your roof next month. Am responsible for changing Workers Compensation by initiating independent on-record evaluation of medical necessity disputes (replacing in office examinations) and also billing disputes for State. Am looking for philanthropy (TCE, CHCF, RWJ) to fund nationally known research group (Rand, RTI, BU, UCDavis). Will need to guide the measures. Composite Dip measure "Country Power Measure": (SC's per year summed, divided by years of game) multiplied by final SC count.

Helsinki (Apr 1, 1904) "Bloody Hell, when I signed up they said Flanders Fields not the 'bloomin' forests of Finland."

DON to MELINDA: You’re hardly a damsel in distress and I’m hardly a knight in shining armor … but still, these two look like rabid Republican Reivers and we can’t have that happening in this neck of the woods.

GERMANY to FRANCE: Too little, too late. If you don’t really want them anymore …

DON to MARK/GEOFF: Weren’t we three going to start a press war to end all press wars? I’ll fire the first shot if you two will get in on it …

DON to JOHN: Have you ever written one line of press anywhere?

This Space for Rent

Inquire Within

Reasonable Rates

Diplomacy “Walkerdine” 2012D, S 01

Austria (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” yahoo.com): A Budapest – Serbia, F Trieste – Albania,

A Vienna - Tyrolia.

England (Marc Ellinger - mellinger “of” bbdlc.com): F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea, A Liverpool – Edinburgh,

F London - North Sea.

France (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Bounce*), A Paris - Picardy.

Germany (Steve Cooley – tmssteve “of” gmail.com): A Berlin – Kiel, F Kiel – Denmark, A Munich - Ruhr.

Italy (Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Rome - Venice (*Fails*),

A Venice - Piedmont (*Bounce*).

Russia (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): A Moscow – Ukraine, F Sevastopol - Black Sea,

F St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of Bothnia, A Warsaw Supports A Moscow - Ukraine.

Turkey (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): F Ankara – Constantinople,

A Constantinople – Bulgaria, A Smyrna - Armenia.

Deadline for Fall 1901 Will Be February 26^th at 7am My Time

PRESS

Steve Cooley: All I want to say is “Around the Dial” by the Kinks is a great song.

Lichtenstein (AP) – Reports from the border indicate the massing of Italian troops. There is some concern that the French will drop their rifles and run again…wait Lichtenstein doesn’t border France. I guess they are more cowardly than first thought. The Italian Emperor issued his release, “ahhhhh….now who’s your daddy? Oh wait, ahem, my fellow leaders, I am happy to announce hostilities have commenced against Austria, no wait France, err um Turkey…General Bunga-Bunga which border are we penetrating….ah, ooooohhhh, hmmmmm…Gentlemen affairs of state take precendence over affairs of state….arrivederci.”

Flanders (UPI) – Germans everywhere, oh god, somebody help us. Stop them before the blot out the world….hel [static]

Homer Simpson – Flanders: Shut up, Flanders.

(BOOB is the REAL BOOB HERE): I know I'm nuts, but all of you are damned liars..... what is this, a Diplomacy game?

(FRANCE to RUSSIA'S SONGWRITER): I resemble that blank look.

(FRANCE HAS A BETTER IDEA FOR A SONG.... sung to the tune of the song):

Tell me my game is about to begin, tell me that I am a hero,

Promise me all of your violent dreams, light up your units with anger.

Now, in this ugly board, it is time to destroy all this evil,

Now, when I give the orders get ready to fight for your freedom, now.

Stand up and fight, for you know France is right,

We must strike at the lies that have spread like disease through our game,

Soon we'll have centers, every unit will hold,

And we'll spread out our kindness to all who our love now deserve,

Some of you are going to die

Martyrs of course to the freedom that I shall provide.

Italy – France: (sung to the tune of “Can’t Stand Losing You” by The Police)

I emailed so many times today,

And I guess it’s all true what the others say:

That you’re gonna move to Piedmont and then

You’ll build a southern fleet and attack me again.

I guess you’d call it safety first,

But if I don’t stop you now then it’ll get worse.

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t stand losing

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t stand losing to you

I can’t stand losing to you!

I see you sent my emails back,

And everything you wrote is a bunch of crap.

I won’t send you any more emails today

Since you just won’t listen to a word I say.

You can say I must have a sixth sense

But to listen to your lies doesn’t make no sense.

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t stand trusting

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t stand trusting you

I can’t afford trusting you!

I guess this is our last goodbye.

I hope you’re sorry, I hope you cry.

I won’t be sorry when you’re dead.

If only you’d listened to what I said.

I told you it was suicide

But you just couldn’t manage to swallow your pride.

I took, I took, I took your centers

I took, I took, I took, I took all your centers from you!

I took them all from you!

(KNOWING WHO THE CONRAD AND MAGUS FANS ARE, TAKE THIS FOR REAL MAGUS):

"The human race is unimportant. It is the self that must not be betrayed."

"I suppose one could say that these players didn't betray themselves."

"You are right. They did not. But millions of Germans did betray their selves. That was the tragedy. Not that one man had the courage to be evil. But that millions had not the courage to be good.”

(BOOB CONCLUDES): I await your reactions, game on.

GM – Boob: I feel ill.

DON to JEFF: I will take you at your word that you mean me no harm. Beyond S’01, though, you’ll have to do better than your word.

SULTAN to POPE: Ditto … hoping you decide that you have better options elsewhere.

TURKEY to RUSSIA: I believe my moves best reflect an old Russian proverb made famous by the Illustrious Teflon President; “Trust but Verify”. Consider A ARM as my Inspector General of Verification.

DON to STEVE: Even surrounded as I am by possible hostiles, I’m still glad I’m not near you and Ellinger. Yet …

DON IN CON to BURG IN BUR: The over and under on you is 1904 … you want into the action? It’ll take you a little vig …

Black Press Gunboat, “Fred Noonan”, 2013Arb32, S 01

Austria: A Budapest – Serbia, F Trieste – Albania, A Vienna - Galicia.

England: F Edinburgh - North Sea, A Liverpool – Yorkshire, F London - English Channel.

France: F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Marseilles – Spain, A Paris - Burgundy (*Bounce*).

Germany: A Berlin – Kiel, F Kiel – Denmark, A Munich - Burgundy (*Bounce*).

Italy: F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Rome – Venice, A Venice - Trieste.

Russia: A Moscow - St Petersburg, F Sevastopol - Black Sea (*Bounce*), F St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of Bothnia,

A Warsaw - Ukraine.

Turkey: F Ankara - Black Sea (*Bounce*), A Constantinople – Bulgaria, A Smyrna - Armenia.

Deadline for Fall 1901 Will Be February 26^th at 7am My Time

PRESS

Recently overheard in the Hapsburg Throne Room: "Zzzzz.... huh? Huh? What happened? Who got shot? Franz? F.J.? Well, geeez. [a few moments of silence] I guess we're going to have to invade Serbia. Hopefully no one will notice. Check, please?"

Aus to Ita: If you invaded Tyrolia and Venice, or walked into Trieste, get ready for the kamikaze. If you didn't, I am at your disposal.

Aus to Rus: Hoping this move to Gal will just bounce. If so, let's not do it again in the fall. If I succeeded, I'll walk out.

Aus to Tur: Depending on how you and Italy each opened, I may well be interested in cooperating with you.

RUSSIA - AUSTRIA:

I've deliberately kept out of GAL.

I will respect your territory and hope you respect mine.

I claim RUM.

If you do try to move to WAR/UKR/SEV/RUM, I will have to declare war on Austria.

Regards, Russia.

RUSSIA - TURKEY:

We probably bounced in BLA.

I only want RUM and would prefer a clear BLA.

Can we agree that

a) If I'm in BLA, I will move out.

b) Neither of us move to BLA.

c) A move to BLA will be treated as a hostile act.

Regards, Russia.

RUSSIA - GERMANY:

I've deliberately kept out of PRU/SIL.

I will respect your territory and hope you respect mine.

I claim SWE.

If you do try to move to WAR/LVN/SWE, I will have to declare war on Germany.

Regards, Russia.

Aus to Ger: Anschluss? We need each other, most likely.

Aus to Fra/Eng: Happy stabbing over the Channel.

France – Germany: Peace be with you, my friend. My move is defensive only. Growth is to be had in the east and north!

France – England: I will not trouble your rule of sea’s. Peace between us with result in growth for us both!

France to Italy: Be careful of Turkey. You have nothing to worry from me, but you and Austria should work together to contain the yellow plague!

Fra - Ger: I mean you no harm. This is just precautionary.

Fra - Rus: The question is - who will own the North?

Tur - Aus: I think you and I can make beautiful music together.

Diplomacy “Sweet Spot” 2013A, Winter 1900

Austria (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): Has F Tri, A Vie, A Bud.

England (Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): Has F Lon, F Edi, A Lvp.

France (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Has F Bre, A Mar, A Par.

Germany (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): Has F Kie, A Ber, A Mun.

Italy (Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): Has A Ven, F Nap, A Rom.

Russia (Chris Babcock – cbabcock “of” asciiking.com ): Has F StP(sc), F Sev, A War, A Mos.

Turkey (Larry Peery – peery “of” ix.netcom.com;): Has A Con, A Smy, F Ank.

Deadline for Spring 1901 Will Be February 26th at 7am My Time

PRESS

Anon: "Are you kidding me? Seriously? Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?!!!"

The captain of the HMS Goldfinger manfully refrained from banging his head on the metal railing in front of him. Out of the mists of the sea rose the land mass before them. "These are James' orders," he finally answered.

The Woman kicked the metal railing then wrathfully glared at the captain. "You tell James..."

The captain quickly raised a hand. "Please, ma'am. I'd rather not get between the two of you."

The Woman grunted and crossed her arms across her chest. "Very well. Please convey my regards to James and tell him that we're now even. Please tell him that the next time I see him I intend to take this out of his SCURVY RIDDEN FLEA BITTEN HIDE!!!!" She took a deep breath. "Thank you, Captain."

With all the aplomb of Napoleon returning from exile, the Woman walked down the gangplank and onto the misty-shrouded beach. As she heard the Goldfinger sail away, she looked around and snarled in a gutteral tone. "France!"

Next month... on Neapolitan Shore! Prime Minister Heath "The Situation"... er, no. Prime Minister Heath "The Occurrence" Gardino shows off his ripped single ab as Larry "Snook-nook" Peery and Chris "Ai-yo!" Babcock mud-wrestle to the death near the Black Sea, all for a chance to lay hands on it. The Austro-Hungarian Duke has been invited for a bro-hug following the festivities.

England to France and Germany - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-hWp0nQghc

France to England and Germany - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik0Usmwuh2g

Germany to England and France - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSRiGoDkilM

Russia to Austria, Italy and Turkey - Isn't there a "Greece" song?

England to Germany and Italy - C'mon now. Just like we did at rehearsal.

England to France - Cut, cut, cut your throat

(Germany joins in)

Germany to France - Cut, cut, cut your throat

England to France - Just to watch you bleed

(Germany looks at Italy)

England to France - Merrily, merrily... (falters)

Italy to England - I'm sorry. Did I miss my cue again? Well, you said,

"Just like rehearsal."

ROME -- The Prime Minister slept in fits and starts. He still hadn't told any of his colleagues what he had seen, what he had -- witnessed , he supposed you could call it -- and this somehow made it all the more difficult to escape the circular thoughts, replaying what had happened over and over in his mind.

He had started the previous day as he normally did -- with his regular constitutional. It was a crisp winter morning in Italy, he was full of power and good humor, nothing could get in his way.

Nothing, of course, except for the strange beam of light that had emanated overhead. At first, he could hear a loud whirring sound accompanying it, then a vague chirp that sounded like some sort of ancient bird.

As he felt himself lifting skyward, a feeling of ecstasy washed over him. He couldn't explain it -- he should have been scared.

Once finally aboard the strange source of this light, which looked a bit a Venetian gondola sized way, way, up, his ecstasy morphed into dread.

Aboard the craft were creatures that appeared almost human. The males had bulging biceps and wore sweaty tank-tops and slicked their hair back, the women were scantily clad -- and the whole place smelled of hair grease.

"Yo," said their apparent leader, lightly hitting the top of an operating table. The Prime Minister looked around him and a circle of the creatures had surrounded him, drawing closer. He laid down on the table as much to get away from them as he did to try to end the whole ordeal.

The last thing he remembered was an implement that appeared to be some sort of electric scalpel, whirring at a low frequency. The attending creature was holding it in one hand, some sort of microchip in another. The last thing he remembered was the creature bending over and making some marks on his head.

And then he found himself in his bed, having no idea how he got there, the candle burning at half past midnight. He had checked the room thoroughly before blowing it out and attempting to sleep.

Heath to All: Has any game ever ended in a 7-way draw in 1900? We should try that, and then all sign back up for a new game. Just to mess with Doug. :P

GM – Heath: That would hardly be an inconvenience to me.

Austria to Russia - In Galatia did Kubla-khan a stately DMZ decree.

Russia and Turkey to the world -

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

Peery to World - You are getting ve-e-ery sleepy...

GM – Peery: Trust me, you succeeded in putting the world to sleep decades ago.

Anon: There's only one good adage in the game of Diplomacy, one that's always true: Any game with Larry Peery involved is going to have more press written by Larry Peery than if Larry Peery was not involved.

Anon: Watch out, England. Everyone's talking about you.

ON tURKEY AND TURKEY: A PEERISPECTIVE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czjwKKIpXwM

By LARRY PEERY

Turkey is probably the least understood and most misunderstood Great Power in Diplomacy. Why? That’s just one of the questions I’ll attempt to answer in this brief peerispective. Among others we’ll consider: 1) Why are turkeys called turkeys? 2) Can turkeys fly? 3) What if Germany, Italy, and Russia had produced an Ataturk instead of a Hitler, Mussolini, or Stalin? 4) Can Turks fly?

Throughout this essay you’ll find a variety of links to various online web sites I hope you’ll take the time to check them out because they’ll take your appreciation of turkey, Turkey, and all things Turkish to a higher level.

WHY ARE TURKEYS CALLED TURKEYS?

A few Thanksgivings ago NPR broadcast a program written by Robert Krulwich called “Why A Turkey Is Called A Turkey” Here’s what he said in digested form.

“The bird we eat on Thanksgiving is an exclusively North American animal. It is found in the wild on no other continent but ours. It evolved here. So why is this American bird named for a Eurasian country?

The late Mario Pei, a Columbia University Professor of Romance languages, had two theories:

“First, in the 1500s when the American bird first arrived in England, it was shipped in by merchants in the East, mostly from Constantinople (who’d brought the bird over from America). Since it wholesaled out of Turkey, the English referred to it as a “Turkey coq.” In fact, the English weren’t particularly precise about products arriving from the East. Persian carpets were called “Turkey rugs.” Indian flour was called “Turkey flour.” Hungarian carpet bags were called “Turkey bags.” If a product came to London from the far side of the Danube, Londoners labeled it “Turkey” and that’s what happened to the American bird. Thus an American bird got the name Turkey-coq, which was then shortened to “Turkey.”

Or…Theory No. 2 (and maybe both theories are correct): Long before Columbus went to America, Europeans already had a wild fowl they liked to eat. It came from Guinea, in Western Africa. It was a guinea fowl, imported to Europe by, yes, Turkish merchants. It was eaten in London. So it got the nickname Turkey coq, because it came from Constantinople. When English settlers got off the Mayflower in Massachusetts Bay Colony and saw their first American woodland fowl, even though it was larger than the African Guinea fowl, they decided to call it by the name they already used for the African bird. Wild forest birds like that were called “turkeys” at home. Why not use the same name in Plymouth? And Boston? And Rhode Island? So a name attached to an African bird got reattached to an American one. The point is for 500 years now, this proud (if not exactly brilliant) American animal has never had a truly American name. And just to keep this ball rolling…all over the world, people now eat American turkeys, but they don’t call them Turkeys. Across Arabia, they call our bird “diiq Hindi,” or the “Indian rooster.” In Russia, it’s “Indjuska,” bird of India. In Poland, “Inyczka” --- again, “Bird from India.” And what, we wondered, do the Turks call our turkey? Well, they call it “Hindi,” again, short for India. So in 1492, because Columbus wanted to be in the “Indies,” our North American bird got robbed of its American-ness, which is why next Thanksgiving, when you look down at your turkey, don’t call it “sahib.” Call it “duke.”

If you remember the motion picture “1776” which came out in 1976, you may recall Benjamin Franklin’s discourse on The Eagle and the Turkey. That was based on a real letter Franklin wrote to his daughter. First, Franklin lambastes the Eagle, and then he goes on to write, “I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America…He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.”

CAN TURKEYS FLY?

Yes they can. Wild turkeys feed on the ground, which might explain the myth of their flightlessness. They can in fact soar for short burts at up to 55 mph. But their tendency to stay on or near the ground contributed to successful hunting that brought the wild population of turkeys down to about 30,000 in the 1930s. There are now 7 million of them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NsbWMCxkVQ (video of turkeys flying)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?hFSHYEfWfqw (more turkeys flying)

WHAT IF GERMANY, ITALY, AND RUSSIA HAD PRODUCED AN ATATURK INSTEAD OF A HITLER, MUSSOLINI, OR STALIN?

Most Americans, Western Europeans, and Asians (except for the Chinese and Koreans who remember how Turkish soldiers came to the rescue of the Americans during the Korean War) know little about Turkey or its history which is a shame because it’s a long (9,000 years and gaining as new archaelogical discoveries are made) and glorious (unless you’re Armenian). Here are some resources that will bring you up to date on what’s been going on in this rapidly changing country, as well as some information that may expand on what you’ve learned from staring at a Diplomacy board for the last 50 years or so.

Turkey consists of two pieces, part of which is in Europe (Thrace) and the rest of which is in Asia Minor. It is surrounded by water on three sides: The Black Sea, the Aegean, and the Eastern Mediterranean. Thrace is separated from the Asian Minor portion of Turkey by two straits and one sea. On the western end connecting to the Aegean is the Dardanelles where Gallipoli, site of the famous WWI battle, is located. In the middle is the Marmara Sea. On the eastern end connecting to the Black Sea is the Bosphorus Strait . Istanbul, Turkey’s largest city by far is on the north side of the Bosphorus. All three bodies of wate are known as the Turkish Straits. Two bridges, with a third one under construction, connect Istanbul with Asia Minor. The Bosphorus Strait is about 25 miles long and perhaps 5 miles wide. The Dardanelles are about 75 miles long and somewhat wider. The Sea of Marmara is about 150 miles by 50 miles in size. The Montreaux Convention dates from 1935 and basically gives Turkey control over these waters. Civilian traffic is allowed to move freely through them, military ships face certain restrictions. Most of the islands in the Aegean belong to Greece, including those close to Turkey. The major city on that coast is called Smyrna on the Diplomacy map, but today is called Izmir. The southwest coast of Turkey is called called “the German Riveria” because of the large number of Germans who vacation there. The southeast of the country borders on Syria and Iraq and is home to Turkey’s largest minority, the Kurds. Conflicts in the area are frequent. The eastern side of the country borders on Syria, Iraq, and Iran. Further north Turkey borders on various former republics of the USSR, including Armenia, long a traditional Turkish foe. The center of the country is the Anatolian plain, location of Ankara, the national capital. Perhaps the most important change currently under way in Turkey is the huge hydro-electric construction program going on in the southeast, a series of 26 dams that will provide much needed electrical power and irrigation to ten percent of the country’s people, mostly Kurds.

Turkey can no longer be described as the “sick man of Europe,” a phrase credited to Tsar Nicholas I of Russia. Indeed, today Turkey is known as “the southeastern bastion of NATO.” In comparison to other Mediterranean countries such as Greece, Italy, Spain and the North African countries, Turkey is doing quite well. Here’s a few numbers for the number crunchers among you.

BY THE NUMBERS

Area: Turkey: 300,000 sq. miles, Texas: 269,000 sq. miles

Population: Turkey 80,000,000, Texas 26,400,000

% of Population Urban: 75% for both.

Largest cities: Turkey: Constantinople/Istanbul: 10.4 million (2007), 13.0 million (2009), 15.0 million (2112); Ankara 3.8 million, Izmir, 2.7 million, Burus, 1.6 million, Adana, 1.3 million; Texas: Houston, 2.3 mllion, San Antonio, 1.4 million, Dallas, 1.3 million, Austin, 791,000, Ft. Worth, 732 thousand.

Turkey is approximately 99% Muslim including 75% Turks, 12% Kurds, and 13% others.

When it joined NATO Turkey had the lowest % of GNP devoted to military spending. Today it is second only to the USA. It has the largest army in NATO, and the second largest air force.

FACTOID

By law Mustafa Kemal Ataturk (“Father of the Turks) is the only person allowed to use the name Ataturk. He was born in 1881 in Thessanoliki (Greece) and died in Istanbul in 1938. Official sources state he died in the Dolmabahce after an illness. Popular legend says he died of a heart attack aboard his presidential yacht in the arms of his mistress. By the way, the yacht was recently bought by an investor and it is available for charter for USD3,500 a day.

http://www.google.com/search?q=map+of+turkey&hl=en&tbo=u&rlz=1I7AURU_enUS503&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ei=PrIFUbHcPOmoiQLerIDICg&ved=0CDIQsAQ&biw=1080&bih=515 (maps of Turkey)

There are three Country Study sources for Turkey available from the US Government. The State Department and Central Intelligence Agency each produce their own, but the best one in my opinion comes from the Library of Congress research staff.

http://lcweb2.loc.gov/frd/cs/trtoc.html (Library of Congress Country Studies Turkey)

SICK MAN OF EUROPE (or a Base Case of the He Said, She Said)

‘Sick Man of Europe” is a nickname that has been used to describe a European country experiencing a time of economic difficulty and/or impoverishment. The term was first applied in the mid-19th century to describe the Ottoman Empire, but has since been applied at one time or another to nearly every other mid-to-large-sized country in Europe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sick_man_of_Europe

If you aren’t familiar with historians.org’s website you should be. This is an informative and well written essay on the Balkans.

http://www.historians.org/projects/GIroundtable/Balkans/Balkans2.htm

If you’ve read Mein Kampf or Bersculoni’s recent remarks about Mussolin, Hitler, and the Jews, or any good biography of Stalin you may be interested in reading some of Ataturk’s writings. Based on what he wrote and, more importantly, on what he did it’s hard not to ask what might have happened had Germany, Italy or Russia produced a leader of Ataturk’s caliber. Although he was no Churchill, he was head and shoulders above his peers.

Happy is he who says, “I am a Turk.”

As they have come, so they will go.

Peace at home. Peace in the world.

I am not ordering you to attack. I am ordering you to die.

Armies, your first goal is the Mediterranean. Forward I

Following the military triumph we accomplished by bayonets, weapons and blood, we shall strive to win victories in such fields as culture, scholarship, science and economics.

Victory is for those who can say “Victory is mine”. Success is for those who can begin saying “I will succeed” and say “I have succeeded” in the end.

http://www.allaboutturkey.com/ata_speech.htm

The Brainy Quotes are interesting because they go right up to current times and it’s interesting to compare them with quotes from Turkey’s “sick man of Europe” period.

You cannot transpose the US system on Turkey, and the Turkish system on France, etc. You have to understand the people and their culture. That’s leadership. Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa.

A journey of four hundred and thirty miles can be made in any part of the United States, but in Turkey it takes as many days. Ellsworth Huntington.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/turkey.html

There are a lot of insults and insulting quotes about Turkey. Use them freely, but not in front of a Turk.

The unspeakable Turk should be immediately struck out of the question, and the country be left to honest European guidance. Carlyle.

The Lofty Gate of the Royal Tent. Mahomet II. It was translated “La Porte Sublima” by the Italians.

Your Majesty may think me an impatient sick man, and that the Turks are even sicker. Voltaire to Catherine II.

How will you tell a Turk? By the blood on his hands. Greek saying.

That was too cruel, even for a Turk. Dutch saying.

Where the Turk treads, for a hundred years the soil bears no fruit. German saying.

No could without a gust; no bad guest without a Turky. Serbian saying.

A practical joke played on history. Peter Forster.

http://www.insults.net/html/world/turkey.html

CAN TURKS FLY? REPRISE

You betcha. The modern Turkish Air Force (TAF hereafter) traces its roots back to the Ottoman Empire. When it was officially established in 1918 it had no planes and no pilots and it was called Kuva-yi Havaiye Subesi. Here’s a bit of background.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TurkishAirForce

Today the Turkish Air Force is one of the most modern in NATO and includes some 700 aircraft grouped at 24 NATO bases in Turkey. Turkey is one of five NATO member states which are part of the nuclear sharing policy of the alliance, together with Belgium, Germany, Italy, and the Netherlands. Beginning in 1961 the USAF stationed 15 Jupiter MRBMs in Turkey near Izmir. These missiles weighed 110,000 pounds, were 60 feet long and nearly 9 feet in diameter. They carried a single 1.4 megaton warhead. The US military considered the missiles obsolete by the time they were installed, but compared to Soviet missiles they were state of the art. The missiles (and 30 like them in Italy near Bari) were removed in a deal with the Russians that ended the Cuban missile crisis in 1963. That same year the US began development what would be known as the B61 bomb. Each bomb is about 12 feet long, 1 foot in diameter, and weighs 700 pounds. The blast yield is from .3 to 340 KTs. Most fighter-bombers carry 2 or 4 such bombs. A total of 90 B61 nuclear bombs are hosted at the Incirlik Air Base (near Adana on the southern Turkish coast), 40 of which are allocated for use by the TAF in case of a nuclear conflict, but their use requires the approval of NATO. Removing the bombs has been under discussion since 2010 and some sources suggest the only US nuclear bombs left in NATO countries are in Belgium, not far from Waterloo as a matter of fact.

TAF has no strategic bombers but it has plenty of fighters and fighter-bombers, as well as transports, tankers, and AWACS aircraft. Over the years it has transitioned from F-84s and F-86s in the 1950s, to F-100 and F-104s in the 1960s, to F-4 and F-5s in 1990s, and today it is actually building its own F-16 with help from General Dynamics and General Electric. As you’ve probably read NATO has sent 6 batteries of Patriot SAMs to the southern Turkish border to protect it from Syrian missiles and rockets.

Here are some sites you may find interesting if you’re an aviation buff.

http://www.hvkk.tsk.tr/EN/IcerikDetay.aspx?ID=119 (Ataturk and Aviation)

http://www.google.com/search?q=ankara+aviation+museum&rlz=1I7AURU_enUS503 (Ankara Aviation Museum)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turkish_Air_Force

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocjWcxgCvM8 (TAF video, earplugs suggested)

There is a long video on You Tube of the complete 100th anniversary of the TAF at Izmir Air Force base. I can’t find it at the moment, but I watched the whole thing and it was interesting. As you watch it keep in mind that those aerial gymnastics are the same maneuvers pilots would use in dropping nuclear weapons (and surviving same).

CONCLUSION

As I have tried to show, I hope you now understand that speed, agility, and skill are the hallmarks of Turkey’s diplomacy and Diplomacy. These last three videos may convince you if I haven’t already.

http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy-ab&hl=en&tbo=d&rlz=1W1AURU_enUS503&q=whirling+devishes+of+Istanbul&rlz=1W1AURU_enUS503&oq=whirling+devishes+of+Istanbul&gs_l=hp.12..0i13i30j0i13i5i30j0i22.2078.10484.0.13631.29.28.0.1.1.0.680.5821.0j22j3j1j0j2.28.0.les%3B..0.0...1c.1.8h5mYUI59nE&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&bvm=bv.41524429,d.b2U&fp=bc9af38cc3ecd502&biw=1083&bih=515

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmZakctn9cs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnCOe5Y3p-0http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnCOe5Y3p-0

BOTTOM LINE: DON’T MESS WITH TURKEY

AFTERWORD:

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere only two American Dippers that I know of have visited Turkey. Rod Walker was there when he was an officer in the USAF, stationed in the northeast of the country at a radar facility on the Black Sea coast, watching the Russians watching us I suppose. I almost got him court martialed or shot (or both) one time by sending him a postcard through the international mail with some orders for a PBM game I was playing in and he was running. The order was simple, “Russian F Sevastapol-Black Sea.” In 1974 Jamie Young and I took a river cruise from Vienna to Thessanoliki in Greece. As we passed through the Dardanelles I saw a large fleet of gray naval ships steaming at high speed into the Aegean. We learned later they were Turkish navy ships on their way to invade Cyprus. A few years ago I met a young Turkish tourist here in San Diego. He asked me if I had ever been in Turkey and I told him the above story, and reversed the question. “Have I ever been in Turkey?” I asked? Several months later I got a large package in the mail smelling strongly of cigarette smoke. It was postmarked Turkey. When I opened it I found a collection of documents, newspaper clippings, photos, etc. with a note from my Turkish tourist explaining to me that his father had been one of Turkey’s ambassadors to CENTO. He had asked his father if I have even been in Turkey since I had passed through the Turkish Straits but never actually landed in the country. The answer, complete with documentation, was no. Legally my ship was considered to have been in international waters during its transit even though I was surrounded by Turkey and the waters I was in were under Turkey’s jurisdiction. Maybe next time.

GM – Larry: I believe you’ll find Conrad Woodring was in Turkey. I’m not sure but Brendan Whyte and Phil Murphy may have been there as well.

By Popular Demand

Credit goes to Ryk Downes, I believe, for inventing this. The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be doubled. In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5. Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted!

Note – This is the regular By Popular Demand, not the By ALMOST Popular Demand we did last time (and will likely do next time).

Round 10 Categories – Double Points!

Stock	Price	% +/-
AJK - Allison Kent	67	1.5%
ALM - Hank Alme	20	5.3%
AMB - Amber Smith	3	-50.0%
AND - Lance Anderson	3	-50.0%
BAB - Chris Babcock	0.01	0.0%
BIE - John Biehl	101	2.0%
BRG - Martin Burgdorf	90	2.3%
BWD - Brad Wilson	100	3.1%
CAK - Andy Lischett	92	2.2%
CAL - Cal White	0.01	0.0%
CHC - Chuy Cronin	0.01	0.0%
CIA - Tom Swider	0.01	0.0%
CKW - Kevin Wilson	96	2.1%
CKY - Carol Kay	25	8.7%
DAN - Dane Maslen	92	2.2%
DBG - David Burgess	0.01	0.0%
DGR - David Grabar	25	-28.6%
DTC - Brendan Whyte	86	1.2%
DUK - Don Williams	77	4.1%
FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer	85	2.4%
FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois	0.01	0.0%
FRT - Mark Firth	85	2.4%
GAR - Heath Gardner	53	3.9%
GRA - Graham Wilson	0.01	0.0%
HAP - Hugh Polley	30	-11.8%
HDT - Heather Taylor	90	2.3%
HLJ - Harley Jordan	85	2.4%
JOD - Jeff O'Donnell	77	2.7%
KMP - Geoff Kemp	88	2.3%
KVT - Kevin Tighe	65	-9.7%
LAT - David Latimer	79	1.3%
LCR - Larry Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MRK - Mark Nelson	3	-40.0%
MCC - David McCrumb	65	-5.8%
MCR - Michael Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MIM - Michael Moulton	42	-8.7%
MRC - Marc Ellinger	88	2.3%
OTS - Tom Howell	86	2.4%
PER - Per Westling	82	2.5%
PJM - Phil Murphy	32	6.7%
QUI - Michael Quirk	8	14.3%
RAC - Robin ap Cynan	65	3.2%
RDP - Rick Desper	92	2.2%
REB - Melinda Holley	91	2.2%
RED - Paraic Reddington	98	2.1%
RWE - Richard Weiss	100	4.2%
SAK - Jack McHugh	148	5.7%
TAP - Jim Burgess	105	2.9%
VOG - Pat Vogelsang	0.01	0.0%
WAY - W. Andrew York	90	2.3%
WLK - Richard Walkerdine	141	0.0%
WWW - William Wood	0.01	0.0%
YLP - Paul Milewski	108	3.8%

Alg	Algeria
Bas	Basque
BOB	Bay of Biscay
Cre	Crete (s.c.)
HAO	High Atlantic Ocean
Ice	Iceland (s.c.)
Ire	Ireland
Kaz	Kazakhstan
Lap	Lapland
Mac	Macedonia
Mad	Madrid (s.c.)
Mor	Morocco (s.c.)
Per	Persia
Sic	Sicily
Swi	Switzerland (s.c.)
Tra	Transylavania
WAO	West Atlantic Ocean