-Eternal Sunshine #75

April 2013

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX  75149

Email: diplomacyworld@yahoo.com or dougray30@yahoo.com

On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/.  Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at http://www.diplomacyworld.net. 

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/ to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata.  We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/EternalSunshDip, and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Check out my new Internet radio station, “Music You Should Know,” at www.live365.com/stations/musicyoushouldknow


Quote Of The Month“The way he looks at me, like I should be ashamed for going out and having some fun in my life.” (Clementine in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)


Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine I’ve ever published with a Bridge puzzle.  Well, no thanks to me…you can find it in the 2nd edition of Per Westling’s subzine…search for it!  I’ve got better things to do than to sit here and tell you where everything is.


I was supposed to have an interview this month, but once it got started the victims subjects had to back out due to time constraints.  So most of the good stuff in this issue comes from other people….such as Richard Weiss, Per Westling, Jack McHugh, and Paul Milewski.  No, not Jim Burgess….he has one again failed to produce an issue of The Abyssinian Prince.  I’m fairly certain we’ve seen issues of Brad Wilson’s Vertigo and Tom Howell’s off-the-shelf more recently.  Hell, Heather and I had dinner with Walt Buchanan last week.  He’s been out of the hobby for decades and I think even HE has published more recently than Boob.  Brad Wilson should have his Balkan Wars sent soon…if he does I’ll forward it on to all the players.


Walt wants to make sure Diplomacy World goes for at least another 7 years so that it will be the longest running zine ever (in terms on years, not issues).  Having founded Diplomacy World, I understand why he views that goal as important.  So I kept telling him that with the recent passing of Diplomacy inventor Allan Calhamer, I saw no reason to continue Diplomacy World at all.  I think Walt was going to cry.


Okay, enough of that.  Check out the game openings: another person signed up for Youngstown, and on the Diplomacy waiting list you’ll find some unusual names.  One of them is Arthur Shulman, who (if memory serves) won the first game of Diplomacy I ever offered in my original zine Maniac’s Paradise.  Welcome back Arthur.  Ready to win another?  We just need a few more people to sign up.


Okay, I’ve bored you enough.  Go forth and explore.  If I catch you flipping to your games and skipping everything else in the zine, I’ll let the air out of your tires.  Don’t make me do it….I’ve done much worse.


Playlist: Bosnia – Grand Funk Railroad; Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band Live – Cheap Trick; Honky Chateau – Elton John; The Very Best of – The Doobie Brothers; Greatest Hits – Neil Young.



Hypothetical of the Month


Last month, we gave you these hypothetical questions or situations: (from Andy Lischett again) #1 - (Based on #2 from last time) A friend agrees to buy your used car, but asks if he can first take it to CarMax for a "free" inspection. CarMax only inspects cars with the intention of perhaps offering to buy them. Do you agree to your friend's request?

#2 - You own a small HVAC company. A man plans to open a restaurant and asks for an estimate to do the HVAC work. You see that his proposed heating, air conditioning and ventilation systems are inadequate and he asks how it should be done, and you design a proper system and give him an estimate. It would be a good, profitable job.

    You don't hear back from the man and several months later the restaurant opens and you stop in. The owner is not there, and you see that all of the HVAC work has been done to your specifications, by someone else. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

    A year passes. The same man comes to your office and says that he is opening another restaurant and asks for a design and estimate as you did for the first. He says that he did not use you on the first job because the general contractor wanted his own crew, but he would not be bound by the general contractor on this second restaurant. Again, it would be a good job, so you draw up plans and send them along with your estimate.

    You do not hear from the man, the second restaurant opens, and you see that all of the HVAC work has been done to your design.

    More time passes and the same guy again appears at your office. He is planning a third restaurant and asks you to prepare a "design proposal" and estimate.

    What do you do?


Heather Taylor - #1 – Yes, why not. He or she is the one that is "scamming" Car Max by pretending that he or she is going to sell the car there, not me.


#2 – Since I am the owner I tell him to take a hike and also point out that he better be glad that I don't bill him for the work I did on the plans before. F'ing A-Hole!


Andy Lischett - #1 - No, I don't let him take the car to CarMax. First, I tell him anything that I know may be wrong with the car. If he still wants it inspected, I think most non-dealer mechanics would do so for about $75, or free if he's a regular customer. Of course, he could say he's taking it to his mechanic but then go to CarMax, but if he wants to go to hell for cheating CarMax, that's his decision.


#2 - This did not happen to me, but to an acquaintance named Jerry.

    The third time the guy came around I would agree to design the system for $500, refundable if I ended up doing the job. When Carol and I wanted to add a third bay to our garage we had four companies give estimates. They all gave rough estimates, but said that architectural plans would cost about $600 (some were refundable, some not).

    Jerry - the acquaintance - was not so easy on the leach. Jerry had spent considerable time and energy designing the first two systems, only to see the restaurant owner take his plans and give them to cut-rate installers. So, the third time Jerry agreed to do a proposal and did draw up plans, but with everything undersized by 25%. The HVAC work was again done to his specifications by someone else.

    Some time later the restaurant owner returned, saying that the restaurant did not heat or cool properly. Jerry asked to see the plans and the restaurant guy said that they used Jerry's plans, and Jerry said, "Oh. Those were just preliminary plans I drew up without seeing the place. Your installer should have verified the requirements."

    No, Jerry did not get sued. He ended up refitting the restaurant for a lot of money.


Melinda Holley - #1 - I make sure my friend knows that CarMax inspects cars with the intention of maybe offering to buy them.  I tell him that it's fine if he wants the car inspected (I'd do the same) but that maybe a better alternative is to take the car to a mechanic he trusts.  But I'd never purchase a car (new OR used) without an inspection so why wouldn't I allow the same for a car I'm selling?


#2 - Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  Fool me a third time, I need to have my head examined!  I tell this guy that I'm working on a strict deadline right now & will get back with him.  In the meantime, I consult an attorney & find out how I can provide plans, specs, etc., to this customer but the customer will have to sign a contract with me in which it states (1) I will be paid for this 'consulting' and (2) all information is considered proprietary and not for use by others.  If the guy doesn't sign it, I don't do the work.  I wish him well and move on.


Hugh Polley - #1 - Am I someone who will take advantage of a friend to make a few extra bucks on a car?  No! So we can assume I have been honest with him about state of car.  I assume he is worried about car problems I am not aware of!  I would offer to pay 50% of inspection cost somewhere else or he must agree to chance better offer from CarMax will result in them getting car. If car does not sell I will at least know what is wrong with it.


Dick Martin - #1 - sure


#2 - thanks, but no thanks


Steve Cooley - #2 - Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, and I’m an absolute sucker.


So, no, I don’t design plans for him unless he offers me a contract. My approach would be fair, but I would say, “Look, you obviously like my work—you’ve used it twice in a row. If you want to use it again, I’ll need a contract up front.”


If he says, “Well, that’s not how this works,” I say, “Maybe not, but the way it has been working is great for you and not so great for me. You know I can do the work; I know I can do the work. This time, I’d like to get the work.” No contract = no design.


Richard Weiss - #1 - This tough.  I check to see we have a written agreement about the car, regardless of the outcome of the inspection.  If not, no inspection.  If yes, I tell the friend I don't want to let him take the car to CarMaxx until he is the owner and while I am, the idea is too unseemly for me.  He agrees to take it elsewhere but goes to CarMAX then tells me he isn't going to buy the car.  then I hypothetically get my hypothetical lawyer friend to file suit and my hypothetical mob connection to put tacks in his drive way.


#2 - I tell him I was really stupid to do it last time and am insulted he thinks I'm even more stupid than I was before.  I tell him we can drive over to his first restaurant and he can treat me and my wife in spiked, high heels or my husband in converse all stars to his fancies dishes and taste of everything on the menu we fancy with a bottle of high grade wine and we can discuss this there. I tell him he can have the design for 3 times what I'd ever charge for same up-front and ask if he is going to also sign a contract that I will install for the price I estimate.


Tom Howell - #1 - If my car is for sale, and the buyer wants to inspect it beforehand, he certainly should be able to.  If the roles were reversed, I'd like an "expert’s” opinion on the car.  So, the ethical question boils down to: do you rip-off CarMax for an inspection, which is really an attempt to get an appraisal, with no intention of selling them the car; or do you pay some other third party for an appraisal.  Who pays?  Maybe discuss these issues with the friend, and agree on some contingency scenarios.


#2 - Tell him you'd be happy to prepare a design for him, and that it will cost <whatever you charge on an hourly basis for the time to draw it up>.  Tell him you'll also submit a bid to do the work, and that it will not include the cost of the design work.  This way, you get paid for the service he actually receives from you, regardless of who ends up doing the installation.  He also can now compare your installation charges against the "competition."


Robin ap Cynan - #1 - Not without wanting to know why he wants to do it. And probably no anyway.


#2 - Tell him- thanks but no thanks, not interested, unless he'd like to pay for the "design proposal" first.


Per Westling - #1 - I think it is a good idea to let someone neutral inspect the car, but I would feel bad of taking advantage of CarMax. I would say this to my friend. If he insisted.... OK, but I am a lousy liar.


#2 - I hope I would just show him to the door and tell him to not come back, but I suspect that I would "blow a fuse" and call him something I would regret afterwards. Anyway I won’t do any business with him. I would also contact "friends" in the business and warn them about this client.  Even if the guy come up with money and a promise to pay I would not do business with him, but then I would probably go out of business...

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.  Fool me thrice... nah, don't think so.


(Actually I googled it and it seems that there is no such sayings about "the thrice". Did find a couple of good suggestions:


- Fool me thrice, and the next thing you know you are married. (I can sense a bit of disillusion there...)

- Fool me thrice, and I'll shoot you, you lying psychopath!  (Not very subtle, that one)

- Fool me thrice, and shame on both. (Probably true)

- Fool me three times, you're officially that guy. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJEvhi2OlEY)


Jack McHugh - #1 - No, I would not, no reason to have it appraised if we've agreed on a price.


#2 - Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me three times and I'm an idiot....no thanks, I'm done doing free design work..I'd only do with a contract in hand for the work....


Heath Gardner - #1 - These have been seeming pretty money-focused lately, and I am such an idiot with money (good thing I have  a sensible, ordered wife of German descent) that I feel like my opinions to these questions are somewhat the equivalent of an idiot going on for 10 minutes about his half-formed political views at the finest French salon. Now that I have taken enough space with my response, hell no I don't go to Carmax, I hate dealing with those used-car guys. Let's take it to a place where we're sure we'll get an honest appraisal.


#2 - No way, man. This guy is a clear scumbag trying to piggyback on your good HVAC-related ideas. You work in a very specialized industry - it's got to be pay to play as far as your architectural-heating layouts.


Andy York - #1 - I'd agree to let my friend take my car "to his mechanic" for an evaluation. If he ends up at CarMax, that's his business.


#2 - Depending on my availability and workload, I may well decline to provide a design proposal. However, if I did, I'd likely offer to provide the proposal at a fixed price, with the understanding that the amount paid would be deducted from the actual construction costs if my company does the work - akin to when you take your car in for a diagnostic and you pay for that with the cost taken into account if you have them make the repairs.


Don Williams - #1 - This is seemingly easy but interesting in a way.  Is it ethical to attempt to control the behavior of another vis-à-vis a third party, especially in a situation where the third party may not be ethical, or must at least assume a certain amount of “lost business” to this kind of behavior as part of its business model?


At first I thought I wouldn’t let my friend take the car to Carmax because, by telling me, he has made me an accessory to his “fraudulent intentions”.  On further consideration, and with last month’s hypotheticals in mind – and with the understanding that Carmax is in the business of pricing cars so that it “might intend to buy them” (but is also under no compunction to buy them if not in its own best business interest to do so based on … uh, who knows what?) – Carmax is hardly being defrauded by offering an estimate which it may or may not stand behind (by actually buying the car).  Further, as we learned last month, your friend may also decide against selling you the car for any number of reasons, or selling it to someone else or to Carmax, or not selling it at all when he knows it’s worth vs what another vehicle may cost.  Further, just because Carmax has “the intention of perhaps offering to buy the car”, does that mean the person getting the free inspection is equally obligated to have the intention of perhaps offering to sell the car?  It’s certainly inferred from the Carmax business model, but is it a legal or ethical breach to get the free inspection without having the intention of perhaps offering to sell the car?  There are an awful lot of weasel words in there.  Put this way, I don’t think so, and I think Carmax knows it and factors it into the business model.  Back to the first part, I think it is rarely ethical to attempt to control the behavior of another adult human being unless legality or life safety is a factor.  As I don’t see this as either or those, it would at best be an ethical breach which I shouldn’t try to control, and as I said I don’t think it even rises to that level for the reasons I stated.


#2 - I’d give him invoices for the first two restaurants and a quote (w/o design specs) for the third.  I’d also put out the word to your friends and competitors that the guy’s a fraud.  And I wouldn’t eat at his restaurants, either, no matter how well temperature-controlled they are.


For Next Month (For the time being, I am usually selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises).  Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: #1 – By mistake, a large department store has failed to bill your credit card for a big-screen TV.  Do you notify the store?  #2 – Two of your friends have had a fight and are not speaking.  One regularly makes inquiries about the other.  Do you give the information candidly?



The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews


We didn’t see anything this month, and on DVD all we really watched were things we’d seen before.  We did enjoy a few streaming movies on Netflix though.  I’ll have to start keeping track of those.  I know we’ll see something this coming month, as the new Evil Dead will be out soon!  JOIN US!!



Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column


Per Westling: Richard Weiss asked about if the pronoun would have mattered. I did notice I used "s/he" in the first question and did not have any gender on the answer in the second question (where "he" as specified), on that particular month. I do try to gender neutral in these situations when the sex is not specified. But I the real world I would probably treat the situations a bit differently depending if it is a male or a female.


Here in Sweden there has been attempts to introduce a gender neutral pronoun that would replace our version of "s/he" which is a bit unwieldy in my language. There have of course... been some shouts about "Political Correct Bull Shit" from the usual suspects but I think that it has established itself and might be standard usage in a couple of years, maybe. Well, it depends on what happens with the social conservative forces that do make some progress here, kind of backlash stuff.


Anyway, for me it is natural to try to use gender neutral forms as this decreases the risk of preconceptions.


Jack McHugh: My full baseball picks:


NL East: Nats, Braves, Phils, Mets, Marlins

NL Central: Reds, Cardinals, Pirates, Brewers, Cubs

NL West: Dodgers, Giants, Diamondbacks, Rockies, Padres

AL East: Red Soxes, O's, Yanks, Blue Jays, Rays

AL Central: CWS, Tigers, Royals, Twins, Indians

AL West: Angels, Rangers, A's, Mariners, Astros


AL wildcards: Rangers, O's

AL champion: Red Soxes


NL Wildcards: Braves, Cards

NL Champion: Reds


WS winner: Red Soxes



The Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest


We BARELY got enough entries for me to run this again.  If you forgot to send your picks in, get them to me within the next couple of days and I will consider accepting them. 






Jack McHugh’s

Dead Pool


Here’s an update on the Dead Pool.  If you find that one of those on your list has passed away, email Jack at jwmchughjr@gmail.com to let him know.




The Twisting Tale

This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words.  If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up.  We need more particpants!  Email me at dougray30@yahoo.com if you’d like to participate!


Chapter 20 – by Mark Firth


No chapter this month.  Mark *is* doing the next chapter, but he gets a free pass this issue because he’s sick in bed.  So you’ll just have to wait until next month!


Next up – Chapter 20 by Mark Firth



A game of survival, bad breath, and fish odor…


This is the simple game of Lifeboat.  Everyone plays this, whether you participate or not.  Each turn everyone still alive in the lifeboat may make a single vote to throw someone off the lifeboat, or a single vote to remove one vote from yourself (a defensive measure).  The high vote getter is thrown overboard, as well as any player getting 2 or more net votes (due to the damage caused when Sanka was tossed overboard).  In a tie, everyone with that score is thrown over.  Last one in the boat wins.  I’ll probably give a prize, as usual.  Press is encouraged.  Note that the votes themselves are NOT revealed.  I just simply announce who is thrown overboard.  If you’re not listed as in the lifeboat right now but want to be, email me and I will add you next issue.  If you are listed and don’t’ want to be…well, too bad.  There is no suicide in this game; you just can ignore it if you want to. 


Currently in the lifeboat:


Carol Kay

Hugh Polley

John Biehl

Marc Ellinger

Paul Milewski


Martin Burgdorf stands up, looks up at the sun, and announces “I am BORED!”  Then he jumps off the lifeboat, sinking quickly.  His body, or portions of it, do not resurface.


Thrown Into the Shark Infested Waters: Douglas Kent, Jack McHugh, Chris Babcock, Paraic Reddington, Sanka the Cat (safely made it to land), Andy York, Toby the Helpful Kitty (safely made it to land), Phil Murphy, Fred Wiedemeyer, Don Williams, Kayza the Dog (safely made it to land), Michael Quirk, Dane Maslen, Larry Cronin, Chuy Cronin, Richard Weiss. Tom Howell, Jeremie Lefrancois, Harley Jordan, Cal White, Andy Lischett, Rick Desper, William Wood, Jim Burgess, Hank Alme, Kevin Tighe, Per Westling, Kevin Wilson, Jeff O’Donnell, Graham Wilson, Melinda Holley, Michael Cronin, Pat Vogelsang, Robin ap Cynan, Lance Anderson, David McCrumb, Heather Taylor, Brendan Whyte, David Burgess, David Latimer, Allison Kent, Amber Smith, Geoff Kemp, Michael Moulton, Martin Burgdorf, and Tom Swider.




Anonymous: I think he 'mocked' me. Boot him off I say.


Anonymous: Hmm, there's a Survivor Tribe here? ..... and I'm not in it ....


Martin to Boob: Whoever you are, I thank you for your support.


(BOOB OPINES SOME MORE): When in doubt, kill all the lawyers..... yikes, is a lawyer really going to win this???  I think the smart money is on the attorneys.


Deadline for your vote and any press is April 29th at 7:00am my time




Eternal Sunshine Index – ESI

A Scientific Measure of Zine Health

Current Index: 59.57 +1.71%





The Eternal Sunshine Index is a stock-market-like index of the zine. You don’t do anything in this game, except write press or commentary on price movements (or why you think your stock should have gone up or down).  I move the prices beginning with next issue based on my own private formula of quantity and quality zine participation (NMR’s, press, columns, etc.).  Any new zine participants become new issues valued at at 50, but the stock for anyone who disappears will remain listed.  The average of all listed stocks will result in the ESI closing value each month, which will be charted issue to issue after we have a few months’ worth of data.  If you don’t like the stock symbol I have assigned you, you may petition the exchange to change it.  Blame Phil Murphy for suggesting this section to me.


Market Commentary: Despite some values falling to the minimum $0.01, and a few players appearing to have dropped from the zine (David McCrumb, where are you?), the continued participation levels keep the index moving higher at a steady pace.  Per Westling adds a final boost with his latest sunzine, a most welcome addition to the issue.  Those of you not mentioned in the stock value list should email me if you want to be added.





% +/-

AJK - Allison Kent



ALM - Hank Alme



AMB - Amber Smith



AND - Lance Anderson



BAB - Chris Babcock



BIE - John Biehl



BRG - Martin Burgdorf



BWD - Brad Wilson



CAK - Andy Lischett



CAL - Cal White



CHC - Chuy Cronin



CIA - Tom Swider



CKW - Kevin Wilson



CKY - Carol Kay



DAN - Dane Maslen



DBG - David Burgess



DGR - David Grabar



DTC - Brendan Whyte



DUK - Don Williams



FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer



FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois



FRT - Mark Firth



GAR - Heath Gardner



GRA - Graham Wilson



HAP - Hugh Polley



HDT - Heather Taylor



HLJ - Harley Jordan



JOD - Jeff O'Donnell



KMP - Geoff Kemp



KVT - Kevin Tighe



LAT - David Latimer



LCR - Larry Cronin



MRK - Mark Nelson



MCC - David McCrumb



MCR - Michael Cronin



MIM - Michael Moulton



MRC - Marc Ellinger



OTS - Tom Howell



PER - Per Westling



PJM - Phil Murphy



QUI - Michael Quirk



RAC - Robin ap Cynan



RDP - Rick Desper



REB - Melinda Holley



RED - Paraic Reddington



RWE - Richard Weiss



SAK - Jack McHugh



TAP - Jim Burgess



VOG - Pat Vogelsang



WAY - W. Andrew York



WLK - Richard Walkerdine



WWW - William Wood



YLP - Paul Milewski






Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?


Rules in ES #58.  Send in your guesses.  I’ve played this in Brandon Whyte’s Damn the Consequences a few times and it’s fun, takes only a minute or two each turn, and helps you work your brain!  As soon as this one ends, a new one will begin.




Kevin Wilson:


Mitt Romney in Washington DC


Jim Burgess:


Che Guevara in Vallegrande Bolivia


Dane Maslen:


Archimedes in Tripoli, Libya


Paraic Reddington:


Charlie Chaplin in Rochester NY


Brendan Whyte:


Erasmus in Anchorage


Richard Weiss:


George Washington Carver in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of the Congo


Tom Howell:


Pontias Pilate in Jerusalem


Rick Desper:


Mark Twain in Hannibal, Missouri


John Biehl:


Ramesses II in Istanbul


Andy Lischett:


Cheech Marin in Chillicothe, Ohio


Per Westling:


Winston Churchill in Buenos Aires


Robin ap Cynan:


Conrad von Metzke in San Diego


Marc Ellinger:


Barack Obama in Chicago


Mark Firth:


Mamie Eisenhower in Bogota


Hint to Player with Closest Geographic Guess: “You died before I was born”





Richard Weiss:


Steven Jobs in Nairobi


Brendan Whyte:


Mark Twain in Bethlehem (Palestine)


Dane Maslen:


Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in Lhasa, Tibet


Heath Gardner:


Oliver Cromwell in Iowa City


Marc Ellinger:


King Midas in Damascus


Rick Desper:


William S Burroughs in Mexico City, Mexico


Jim Burgess:


George Washington in Heraklion, Crete


Tom Howell:


Machiavelli in Timbuktu


Andy Lischett:


Cheech Marin in Lima, Peru


Paraic Reddington:


Bob Hope in Chicago


Kevin Wilson:


Catherine Elizabeth "Kate" nee Middleton, The Duchess of Cambridge in Santiago Chile


John Biehl:


Napoleon Bonaparte in Valletta (Malta)


Mark Firth:


Rod Steiger in Waterloo


Phil Murphy:


Kim Philby in Dublin, Ireland


Hint to Player with Closest Geographic Guess: “Aside from our chromosomes we have absolutely nothing in common; not place, not time, not profession, probably not even favorite food.”





Andy Lischett:


Attila the Hun in Johannesburg, South Africa


Richard Weiss:


Toshio Suzuki in Lusaka, Zambia


John Biehl:


Franklin D Roosevelt in Guadalajara, Mexico


Tom Howell:


Pieter Van der Faes aka (Sir) Peter Lely  in Lusaka, Zambia


Marc Ellinger:


Jimmy Buffett in Belize City, Belize


Heath Gardner:


Hunter S. Thompson in Madison, WI


Rick Desper:


Peyton Manning in Denver, Colorado


Paraic Reddington:


Andre Agassi in Tehran


Dane Maslen:


Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in Montevideo, Uruguay


Kevin Wilson:


Lance Armstrong in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia


Jim Burgess:


Marco Polo in Venice, Italy


Per Westling:


Hari Seldon in Panama City, Panama


Philip Murphy:


Warren E. Buffett in Washington, D.C.


Mark Firth:


Mr. Spock in Trenchtown, Jamaica


Hint to Player with Closest Geographic Guess: “We are both living, but the best years of my career took place before you were even born.”





Brendan Whyte:


Sir Cliff Richard in Bam, Iran


Richard Weiss:


Richard Petty in Dallas, TX


Andy Lischett:


Yogi Berra in Dar es Salaam


Dane Maslen:


Yogi Berra in Amarillo, TX


Tom Howell:


Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Lew Alcindor) in Kampala, Uganda


Heath Gardner:


Kirk Douglas in Wichita, Kansas


Marc Ellinger:


Jack Nicholson in Salt Lake City, Utah


Jack McHugh:


Alexander the Great in Los Angeles, California


Per Westling:


Connor MacLeod in Casablanca, Morocco


Rick Desper:


William Shatner in Riverside, Iowa


John Biehl:


Archie Manning in Aden, Yemen


Jim Burgess:


Itzhak Perlman in Aswan, Egypt


Paraic Reddington:


Clint Eastwood in Lagos, Nigeria


Mark Firth:


Lauren Bacall in Homs, Syria


Kevin Wilson:


Jerry Mathers in Kigali Rwanda


Hint to Player with Closest Geographic Guess: “We appeared in one film together, the only film I appeared in as an actor.”





Rick Desper:


Art Garfunkel in Cheyenne, Wyoming


Dane Maslen:


John George Kovatch, Jr. in Oklahoma City, OK


Andy Lischett:


Stirling Moss in Nairobi, Kenya


Brendan Whyte:


Marcel Marceau in Juba, South Sudan


John Biehl:


Peter Graves in Entebbe


Paraic Reddington:


Bruce Springsteen in New Orleans


Marc Ellinger:


Roman Polanski in Reno, Nevada


Per Westling:


Henry DeTamble in Kinshasa, République démocratique du Congo


Richard Weiss:


Mel Tillis in Oklahoma City, OK


Heath Gardner:


Phil Spector in Colorado Springs, CO


Mark Firth:


Phil Spector in Las Vegas, NV


Jim Burgess:


Shirley McLaine in Kigali, Rwanda


Tom Howell:


Rusty Wallace in Tegucigalpa


Kevin Wilson:


Barbara Stanwyck in Dodoma Tanzania


Hint to Player with Closest Geographic Guess: “I am mentioned in a song from an album you appeared on…and my identity has been discovered, but not by you.



Deadline for Round 6 is April 29th at 7:00am my time


Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jwmchughjr@gmail.com

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #53




I’m still substitute teaching at least a few days a week while I look for a real job.  I don’t know why I don’t try to go on SSI Disability like the rest of the country.  One look at me and they’d sign me up.


Hope you all choke on egg shells, whether you celebrate Easter or not.


A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi.


Cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.


Passenger: 'Who?'


Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.  Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'


Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'


Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros..He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'


Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.


Cabbie: 'There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with.

He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.


Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'


Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams.  Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.  But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.  He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too - He was the  perfect man!  He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'


Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'


Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his fuckin' wife."


10 Things to Say to an Obama Voter Who Just Got Laid Off ---


1. "Hey, at least that successful Mormon businessman didn't win."


2. "Didn't your lady parts warn you this would happen?"


3. "Look at the bright side, gay marriage passed in four states."


4. "Hey, Big Bird still has a job. Isn't that the important thing?"


5. "I am sure Obama cares deeply about your situation. Maybe he'll send you a postcard from Hawaii."


6. "Well, look at the bright side: Rush Limbaugh is getting a massive tax increase."


7. "Hey! Now you'll have more time to play with your unicorn."


8. "Isn't it worth losing your job to know that religious organizations now have to pay for abortions and contraceptives?"


9. "Well, now you and Keith Olbermann have something else in common."


10. "Forward!"



I was at the bar in the South Club last night and saw two large girls by the bar.


They both had strange accents so I said, "Hello, are you two girls from Scotland?"


One of them screamed, "Its WALES you fucking idiot!"


So I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"


(That's when the trouble started.)



If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully. Be careful what you purchase on eBay.


A friend has just spent $100 on a penis enlarger.


Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.


Instructions said, "Do not use in the sunlight."



From Physics and Philosophy (©1958) by Werner Heisenberg (1901—1976)

Selected by Paul Milewski


Heisenberg is considered the father of quantum mechanics.  His 1925 paper “On the Quantum-Theoretical Reinterpretation of Kinetic and Mechanical Relationships” showed how the seemingly self-evident concepts of position and velocity had to be revised when considering the internal dynamics of atoms.  Two years later he extended these ideas, achieving lasting fame for his proof that the position and velocity of quantum particles cannot simultaneously be known.  This was the famous Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle.  He was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1932. 


…Along with other prominent German physicists, he was taken prisoner by the Allies at the end of World War II and sent to England.  He returned to Germany in 1946…  [From “About the Author”]

When Plato says, for instance, that the smallest particles of fire are tetrahedrons, it is not quite easy to see what he really means.  Is the form of the tetrahedron only symbolically attached to the element of fire, or do the smallest particles of fire mechanically act as rigid tetrahedrons or as elastic tetrahedrons, and by what force could they be separated into the equilateral triangles, etc.?  Modern science would finally always ask:  How can one decide experimentally that the atoms of fire are tetrahedrons and not perhaps cubes?  Therefore, when modern science states that the proton is a certain solution of a fundamental equation of matter it means that we can from this solution deduce mathematically all possible properties of the proton and can check the correctness of the solution by experiments in every detail.  This possibility of checking the correctness of a statement experimentally with very high precision and in any number of details gives an enormous weight to the statement that could not be attached to the statement of early Greek philosophy.  [From chapter IV, “Quantum Theory and the Roots of Atomic Science”]

From what has been said one would be inclined to demand that the scientist should never rely on special doctrines, never confine his method of thinking to a special philosophy.  He should always be prepared to have the foundations of his knowledge changed by new experience.  But this demand would be again be an oversimplification of our situation in life for two reasons.  The first is that the structure of our thinking is determined in our youth by ideas which we meet at that time or by getting into contact with strong personalities from whom we learn.  This structure will form an integrating part of all our later work and it may well make it difficult for us to adapt ourselves to entirely different ideas later on.  The second reason is that we belong to a community or a society.  This community is kept together by common ideas, by a common scale of ethical values, or by a common language in which one speaks about the general problems of life.  The common ideas may be supported by the authority of a church, a party or the state and, even if this is not the case, it may be difficult to go away from the common ideas without getting into conflict with the community.  Yet the results of scientific thinking may contradict some of the common ideas.  Certainly it would be unwise to demand that the scientist should generally not be a loyal member of his community, that he should be deprived of the happiness that may come from belonging to a community, and it would be equally unwise to desire that the common ideas of society which from the scientific point of view are always simplifications should change instantaneously with the progress of scientific knowledge, that they should be as variable as scientific theories must necessarily be.  Therefore, at this point we come back even in our time to the old problem of the “twofold truth” that has filled the history of Christian religion throughout the later Middle Ages.  There is the very disputable doctrine that “positive religion—whatever form It may take—is an indispensable need for the mass of the people, while the man of science seeks the real truth back of religion and seeks it only there.”  “Science is esoteric,” so it is said, “it is only for the few.”  If in our time political doctrines and social activities take the part of positive religion in some countries, the problem is still essentially the same.  The scientist’s first claim will always be intellectual honesty, while the community will frequently ask of the scientist that—in view of the variability of science—he at least wait a few decades before expressing in public his dissenting opinions.  There is probably no simple solution to this problem, if tolerance alone is not sufficient; but some consolation may come from the fact that it is certainly an old problem belonging to human life.  [From chapter VIII, “Criticism and Counterproposals to the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Theory”]

The invention of nuclear weapons has also raised entirely new problems for science and scientists.  The political influence of science has become very much stronger than it was before World War II, and this fact has burdened the scientist, especially the atomic physicist, with a double responsibility.  He can either take an active part in the administration of the country in connection with the importance of science for the community; then he will eventually have to face the responsibility for decisions of enormous weight which go far beyond the small circle of research and university work to which he was wont.  Or he may voluntarily withdraw from any participation in political decisions; then he will still be responsible for wrong decisions which he could possibly have prevented had he not preferred the quiet life of the scientist.  Obviously it is the duty of the scientists to inform their governments in detail about the unprecedented destruction that would follow from a war with thermonuclear weapons.  Beyond that, scientists are frequently requested to participate in solemn resolutions in favor of world peace; but considering this latter demand I must confess that I have never been able to see any point in declarations of this kind.  Such resolutions may seem a welcome proof of goodwill; but anyone who speaks in favor of peace without stating precisely the conditions of this peace must at once be suspected of speaking only about that kind of peace in which he and his group thrive best—which of course would be completely worthless.  Any honest declaration for peace must be an enumeration of the sacrifices one is prepared to make for its preservation.  But as a rule the scientists have no authority to make statements of this kind.  [From chapter XI, “The Role of Modern Physics in the Present Development of Human Thinking”]

Not Lepanto 4-ever LXII #2

by Per Westling (LHCper AT gmail.com)


I don't know if you remember the first installment of this, well, subzime? As they say, Omnium rerum primordia sunt dura. I will give it another try and see what happens. Not many reactions from last time, but they are always welcome, to Doug or to me at the address above.

Need a Fourth?

Last time (in ES#65) I wrote the story behind the name of this subzine. One other hobby that I have been doing much longer than PBM/Diplomacy is Bridge. Yes, the card game. I was 12 years old when I started with it, and it was natural to do it as our family was a card playing family, and both my parents were competing in Bridge (on a regional level). So, I took it up and did play it mostly on regional level as well. Eventually I managed to collect enough ”master points” so that in Spring '00 I became Life Master (Swedish version, which is a bit harder than the US version). But completing I did lose interest of it; I want things to be fun. So around '06 I dropped out. In summer of '11 I was contacted by an old bridge partner that needed a 6th player in a team with grandiose plans, which turned out to fail eventually but at least it got me going again. But I keep an eye on the fun part.

So, I thought I present a Bridge problem. Maybe that is a first in ES?





























All pass







Lead: ª5


In the bidding West could not force with a natural 2¨ so he made a take-out D (not for penalties) and than forced with a natural 3¨. East just wanted to know if West had any stopper.
So West is declarer and need to take 9 tricks without any trump.  North leads a small spade and South cashes King and Ace of spades before shifting to a heart. So, how should West continue? I'll get back to this near the end of this subzine.

Some die young

There is a song that was played a lot on the national radio about a year ago. Some die young, by Laleh, a Swedish artist with her roots in Iran. This contains the following chorus:


Some die young
          But you better hold
          So many things I need to say to you
          Please don’t, don’t let me go
          And we said we would die together

Every time I hear this song I start to think about the Death Poll in ES... So I started to listen for other songs with similar themes, and did encounter The Band Perry, with their If I die young. This have the chorus:

If I die young, bury me in satin
          Lay me down on a, bed of roses
          Sink me in the river, at dawn
          Send me away with the words of a love song


There are of course many other songs on this theme, but the most ”controversial” of these was Ke$ha's Die young. It was top 3 on Billboard top 100 when it got banned on many Radio stations after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting where 20 children was killed.


I think that was a bit overreacting, and if you listen to the lyrics you hear that it has nothing to do with killing children:

          I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
          Oh what a shame that you came here with someone
          So while you're here in my arms,
          Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young

But OK, I have sympathy for the decision.


Did find an interesting link about other bans: http://www.uproxx.com/music/2012/12/15-famous-songs-you-might-be-surprised-to-learn-were-banned-on-the-radio/#page/1

First Aid Kit

I thought I could take this opportunity to write some about artists that might be fairly unknown in the US. This time I'd like to present the sisters Söderberg, Johanna and Klara, in the duo First Aid Kit. Their music is in the Folk genre with influences from Nashville, and the likes of Fleet Foxes and Joanna Newsom. Sounding timeless sometimes, and as if from the 60s other times. For me it sounds very Nordic and have a melancholic touch.


Their second album, The Lion's Roar, was released in 2012 and did reach number one spot in Sweden, but have not yet reached all that high in other countries (well, except Norway)


If you want to try it out you can try for example these three songs on that album:



                  The Lion's Roar, main song and was performed on Conan O'Brien in April 2012

                  Emmylou, where they sing about Emmylou Harris, Gram Parson, Jone Carter and Johnny Cash.

                  Blue, which really sounds as it could have been performed at Woodstock during the Flower Power Era.


 Return to the Bridge problem

It was me sitting West and I failed...






















Tried one round of spades (discarding a club) before playing clubs, overtaking the Jack and hoped QT would fall or the opps to make a mistake, they did not so I just scored 1 spade, 2 hearts and 5 clubs.

If I instead discard a diamond in dummy South (holding Qxx in clubs) can defeat me as I cannot both keep spades and enough diamonds. So I will loose 3 spades, 1 diamond and 1 club. (If for example I keep ªJ8 s/he can play Ace and small in diamond. If I keep just ªJ, s/he will lead a spade while ¨A still remains.


The solution is to play ¨K at trick 4. South, with ¨AT cannot win this as I then have 5 diamonds, 2 spades, 2 hearts, 2 clubs with the communication. So now I can play on clubs and discard diamonds. South will get in on the third round of clubs and have only ¨A left, besides spades and hearts.


Oh well, a very difficult board.


So, that was all for today.







Octopus’s Garden

Issue Seventy-Nine

23rd March 2013


HELLO, good evening and welcome to Octopus’s Garden, the subzeen with its very own Railway Rivals game. It’s a subzeen to Jim Burgess’ The Abyssinian Prince , which is now a subzeen toDouglas Kent's Eternal Sunshine. Produced by Peter Sullivan, peter@burdonvale.co.uk. It's also available on the web at http://www.burdonvale.co.uk/octopus/.


Round 11 – "Hannibal Hamlin"

Railway Rivals Map FR


29) (46-21) St Etienne - Brest : FRAK IT 20-8 ; FWOGGIE 10+8.

30) (@5-52) Italy - Limoges : FRAK IT 20-6+3 ; FWOGGIE 10-3+6.

31) (31-43) Amiens - Dijon : LOSER 15 ; REN 15-2 ; NERTZ +2.

32) (51-32) C Ferrand - Dunkerque : FRAK IT 20-1-2 ; FWOGGIE 10+2+1.

33) (16-63) Le Havre - Marseille : LOSER 20-3-2+3+2+2 ; NERTZ 5-3+3+2 ; FRAK IT 5-2-2-3 ;

                              REN 0-2-1+3 ; FWOGGIE +2+1.

34) (61-@3) Grenoble - Germany : NERTZ 20-3-1-1-4 ; REN 10-3-1 ; LOSER 0-3-1+4+1 ;

                              FWOGGIE +3+3+3 ; FRAK IT +1+1+1.

35) (26-11) La Rochelle - Paris : NERTZ 20-4-1 ; REN 10-5 ; FWOGGIE 0 ; LOSER 0+5+4 ;

                              FRAK IT +1.


No Builds.


NERTZ (William Whyte, USA.) [purple]

LOSER (Geoff Challinger, UK.) [blue] :

FRAK IT (W. Andrew York, USA.) [black] :

FWOGGIE (Brendan Whyte, Aus.) [green]

RENAISSANCE (Robin ap Cynan, UK.) [yellow]


Scores on the doors:








































































Races for Round Twelve:

36) (@6-35) Spain - Metz

37) (34-15) Reims - Rouen

38) (25-@4) Orleans - Switzerland

39) (56-42) Lourdes - Mulhouse

40) (12-53) Paris - Toulouse

41) (62-24) Montpellier - Nantes

42) (41-66) Strasbourg - Nice


GENEVA: For Round Twelve, you may enter up to four of these races. The deadline for Round Twelve orders is SATURDAY, 13th APRIL, 2013 to Peter Sullivan, peter@burdonvale.co.uk.


That was Octopus's Garden #79, a Startling Press production.














ZERO SUM, Subzine to Eternal Sunshine, Issue 12  March 24, 2013



Rules for regular Yahtzee published in Eternal Sunshine #65.  Scoring and play modified from Milton Bradley’s Yahtzee Game copyrighted 1982.  Hasbro lists the official rules at: http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/Yahtzee.pdf


GM Musings:  I thank Doug for distributing Allan Calhamer’s death.  I did have two opportunities to talk with him.  Not sure why he named one country in the female gender and the rest male.  Do know that he thought the most powerful country, despite evidence to the contrary by game results, was Russia. 


Will Tiger Woods rejuvenate golf viewership faster than Danica Patrick increases NASCAR viewership?


March Madness will persist into April.  All sports end later then they used to, among American Major sports.  Not sure about soccer, lacrosse, NASCAR, or women’s negligee league games.  I didn’t have enough enthusiasm to even pick a bracket.  If I had, I would have picked all the nines over all the 8’s and Minnesota in the first round (late radio tip).  I thought UNC had had a bad season and Memphis a great one.  Oh well.  This year is a paucity of schools I’m related to.  Daughter graduated Berkeley.  I went to summer school Oregon.  I attended UNC.  I started a class at Michigan.  I spent a month at Harvard and presented two talks there over the years.  My daughter went to a week long course in HS at Ole Miss and stayed at the President’s house, as his brother was daughter’s Mother’s boyfriend once.  Fewest schools I’ve had as personal favorites in many, many years. 


Spring is fervently here in Folsom.  Puxatawny Phil has been indicted for what could be a death penalty but not extradited???  And congress sputters.  The meteor that ended the Dinosaur Age was only a comet.  A volcano ended the Jurassic period.  String and the Boson are real.  The Universe is 40 million years older and has less black matter than previously thought.  What is this world coming to?


Last night asleep, GF and her daughter awake 12:30 AM watching TV.  All power goes out.  Don’t know where flash lights, cell phones, or guns (oh, don’t have any, that’s right) are.  Pounding on the front door.  The distant knocking and “Stop F’ing around and open the door” Then dark sedan drives off.  Then I’m awakened.  Call 911.  Dispatcher – oh, spring break prank, “Power Bomb.”  Turn off main breaker.  Drive away.  I guess it’s better than egging.  I’ve been keyed, egged, and power bombed but never T.P.’d.  I’ve been in the eyes of hurricanes and tornadoes (including the strongest winds ever recorded over land), eye of cyclone, in floods, earthquakes, forest fires, and urban fires.  No locusts but yes dust storms and deadly scorpions and came across the recently shed skin of a 14 foot poisonous snake in the Bali wilds.  Have been running and jumped over rattlesnakes, heard rattles, avoided copper heads and cotton mouths, been bitten by mosquitoes and stung by yellow jackets, lost skin in a motorcycle accident, bungeed, scubad, parachuted solo, and never hung glided.  I hate adrenalin.  I avoid risk greater than Mommy Level – oh, let me kiss that to make it better.  Never wanted Neurosurgeon level risk, 4-5 decades since Orthopedic risks.  1-2 decades since urgent care risk.  Getting in a car and driving 4 miles to work is most dangerous thing I do most days.


Game Offerings:  None

Potential Game Offerings:  None. 


Yahtzee Game:  Kim Philby


Notice the return of Dane Maslen.  This is not the ghost of Dane Maslen.  Dane actually sent good-to-go orders and I neglected them, based on the timing of them.   His selections for scores are in the scorecard. 


At the End of Round 6, Roll :          

Player:            What Each Kept

Doug Kent                  2, 2, 2 = 6 for twos 

Kevin Wilson             2, 2, 2 = 6 for twos

Geoff Kemp                1,1,3,4,4   

Dane Maslen               2,2,2, 


The sequential order of dice available now are: 1,3,4,1,4. 

Doug, Kevin and Dane choose three 2’s for six.   Geoff ended up with two 4’s for eight.


First Roll of Round 7 was: 6,4,5,5,4

Doug saved the 4,4,5,5.

Kevin saved the 4,4.

Dane saved 5,5

Geoff saved 4,4,5,5


Second Roll of Round 7 is: (sequentially) 3,5,2


First Roll of Round 8 is: 6,6,3,4,3


For the next issue of Zero Sum, send in want to save after Round 7, Roll 2 & want you want to save after Round 8, Roll 1.    Deadline is April 26.


Scoring at the End of Round 6



Doug Kent

Kevin Wilson

Geoff Kemp

Dane Maslen

Ace  = 1





Twos = 2





Threes = 3





Fours = 4





Fives = 5





Sixes = 6










Bonus +35 if >63





Total Upper










3 of a Kind





4 of a Kind





Full House = 25





Sm Straight = 30





Lg Straight = 40















Yahtzee Bonus





Total Lower










End of Round 6


Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Dax Gorham, Paul Milewski, Arthur Shulman, needs four more.

Youngstown IV (Black Press): Ten-player variant, with off-board boxes to make it “worldwide.”  A classic.  Rules on request.  Signed up: Brad Wilson, Heath Gardner.  Needs 8 more.

By Almost Popular Demand: Same as By Popular Demand, except the top choice in every category scores zero.  Join at any time. 

Eternal Sunshine Movie Photo Quiz: Join anytime.  When this is over the next quiz will either be quotes again, or maybe overly-simple plot descriptions.

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?: Rules in ES #58.  Join anytime!

Coming Soon?: 1898, Colonia VII-B.  If you’re interested in one of these variants, let me know.

Standby List: HELP!  I need standby players! – Current standby list: Richard Weiss, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Hank Alme, Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson (including Woolworth), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, Marc Ellinger, Heath Gardner, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill.  When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it.  If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch.  If you have specific game requests please let me know.



Eternal Sunshine Game Section


Acquire – “Winterbloom


Players: Tom Howell, Hank Alme, Per Westling, and Martin Burgdorf.


Turn 4


Per Westling: Plays 3-F and starts Luxor.  Received 1 free share of Luxor, and buys 3 American.


Martin Burgdorf: Plays 1-I and buys 3 Worldwide.


Tom Howell: Plays 6-C, forms Festival.  Gets 1 free share.  Buys 1 Festival, 1 Tower, and 1 Continental.


Hank Alme: Plays 10-D.  Buys 1 each of Worldwide, Imperial, and Continental.


Per Westling: Plays 3-C.  Buys 3 Luxor.




Turn Order for Turn 5: Martin Burgdorf, Tom Howell, Hank Alme, Per Westling, Martin Burgdorf.


Deadline for Turn 5 is April 28th at 7pm my time.


Kremlin – “Four Stitches”


Players: Jack McHugh - Communist Party Against Reform (CRAP), Rick Desper - The Rusty Curtain (RUST), Jim Burgess - Chylak's Galicians (CG), Mark Firth - Trixci (TRI), and Geoff Kemp - Refuseniks (REF).


Turn 3-B


Starting and Ending Politburo:


Party Chief: L, Igor Doberman, 68, CRAP 9
KGB: Y, Ulan Putschnik, 53, (Strong), CRAP 10

Foreign: Q, Tigran Zenjarplan, 60, (Strong) CRAP 6, RUST 5

Defense: C, Alexej Goferbrok, 74, (Strong) CRAP 2

Ideology: U, Wassily Protzky, 59, +, (Weak), CRAP 6

Industry: D, Petr Niewitko, 73 + (Strong), CG 2.

Economy: W, Leonid Bungaloff, 54, CG 5, RUST 4, CRAP 3

Sport: E, Karel Krakemheds 73, ++, CG 2, TRI 1.

Candidates:, B 75, F 71, H 69, S 58, T 57

People: G 70, I 68, J 67, K 66, N 63, O 62, P 61, R 59, V 55, X 53, Z 50.

Siberia: A 82 +

Waves: CRAP has 3. ß WINS!


Nothing can be done to stop CRAP from waving, given that L is healthy and nobody can claim more IP on him that the 9 CRAP has (and nobody has – or plays – an Intrigue card to any effect).  So CRAP wins in the shortest possible time, 3 turns.  Congratulations Jack!  If you’re interested in another game, let me know and I may offer it next issue.




(CG to PIKERS): We got nuttin!


(CG to DOUG): I think Jack cheats, just like a good Putin..... he should move to Russia!


Doug – CG: Come on, you think he’s smart enough to cheat?  Please….


Trixci – CG:  Um, da.


Deadline for any end-game statements is April 28th at 7pm my time.


Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, F 22

Austria (Martin Burgdorf – martin_burgdorf “of” hotmail.com): A Belgium Supports A Holland,

 F Brest Supports F North Sea - English Channel (*Void*), A Budapest Supports A Rumania (*Cut*),

 A Burgundy Supports A Marseilles, A Denmark Supports A Norway - Sweden (*Disbanded*),

 A Gascony Supports F Brest (*Cut*), A Holland Supports A Kiel, A Kiel Supports A Denmark (*Cut*),

 A Marseilles Supports A Tyrolia – Piedmont, A Moscow - Sevastopol (*Fails*), A Norway – Sweden,

 A Picardy Supports A Belgium, A Rumania Supports A Moscow - Sevastopol (*Dislodged*, retreat to

 Ukraine or Galicia or OTB), A St Petersburg – Norway, A Tyrolia – Piedmont, A Vienna Supports A Budapest.

England (Hank Almealmehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): F Helgoland Bight Supports A London – Denmark,

 A London – Denmark, F North Sea Convoys A London - Denmark.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): F Albania Supports F Trieste, F Baltic Sea - Kiel (*Fails*),

 F Black Sea Convoys A Constantinople – Rumania, A Bulgaria Supports A Constantinople – Rumania,

 A Constantinople – Rumania, F English Channel - Brest (*Fails*), A Galicia – Warsaw,

 F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Gascony (*Fails*), F Piedmont - Marseilles (*Dislodged*, retreat to Tuscany or Gulf

 of Lyon or OTB), A Serbia - Budapest (*Fails*), A Sevastopol Supports A Constantinople - Rumania (*Cut*),

 F Spain(sc) Supports F Piedmont – Marseilles, F Trieste Supports F Venice, F Venice Supports F Trieste.



W 22/S 23 Deadline is April 29th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Belgium, Berlin, Brest, Budapest, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Moscow,

                        Munich, Norway, Paris, St Petersburg, Sweden, Vienna=14, Even or Remove 1

England:          Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London=4, Build 1

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Naples, Portugal, Rome, Rumania, Serbia,

Sevastopol, Smyrna, Spain, Trieste, Tunis, Venice, Warsaw=16, Build 2 or 3




A => GM: What the heck is "TAP"?


GM – Austria: Considering how long it has been since Burgess published one, I am not surprised you don’t know or can’t remember.  It stands for his former zine The Abyssinian Prince.


“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse


Billy Ray Valentine: Probably in his limousine.


Duke of York: Zilch.


Smaug the Dragon: Nothing.


Rothschild: Sells 500 Crowns and 500 Pounds.  Buys 794 Piastres.


Baron Wuffet: Yawn.


Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 141 Pounds.  Buys 90 Crowns.


VAIONT Enterprises: Sells 500 Piastres.  Buys 516 Crowns.


Insider Trading LLC: Not a sausage.


Bourse Master: Stands Pat.




Bard to Smaug:  Fly over me again, big thing.  I got something small to send your way...


Martin Joerg Roth to Begging: We can catch the Duke if we invest heavily in Piastres.


(DUKE OF YORK to BILBO): I would go for second breakfast if I were you....


(DUKE OF YORK to VAIONT): I know YOU will appreciate what is going on here.....


DUCK to BOOB:  The Illustrious GM has a valid point.  However long this game goes on – and at present its vying with Mein Kampf for sheer, gritty, inane, cussed  perverseverance (yes, I spelled that the way I wanted it) beyond all hope of any redemptive value – it will, as Mr. Kent factually stated, end before you crap out another issue of the Boob Report.


Next Bourse Deadline is April 28th at 7:00pm my time



Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, F 21

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): F Trieste SHELLS MUN & LON (Holds),

 A Vienna SUPPORTS D CUPS (Holds), A Budapest SUPPORTS THE RED SOX (Holds).

England (Fred Wiedemeyerwiedem “of” telus.net): Retreat A Moscow - St Petersburg,

 F Smyrna - Aegean Sea.. F Aegean Sea Supports F Bulgaria(sc) – Greece,

 A Belgium Supports F North Sea - Holland (*Cut*), F Bulgaria(sc) - Greece (*Fails*),

 F Constantinople - Bulgaria(ec) (*Dislodged*, retreat to Black Sea or OTB),

 F English Channel - North Sea (*Fails*), F Ionian Sea Supports F Naples, A Livonia – Prussia, F Naples Hold,

 F North Sea - Holland (*Fails*), F Norway Supports F English Channel - North Sea (*Cut*),

 F Norwegian Sea Supports F Norway, A Paris – Gascony, A Picardy – Paris, F Spain(sc) - Marseilles (*Fails*),

 A St Petersburg Hold.

France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): No units.

Germany (Harley Jordanharleyj “of” alum.mit.edu): A Ankara Supports A Smyrna – Constantinople,

 A Apulia - Naples (*Fails*), A Burgundy - Belgium (*Fails*), A Greece - Bulgaria (*Fails*),

 F Helgoland Bight Supports F Holland, F Holland Supports A Burgundy - Belgium (*Cut*),

 A Marseilles - Spain (*Fails*), A Moscow Supports A Warsaw – Livonia, A Rome Supports A Apulia – Naples,

 A Serbia Supports A Greece – Bulgaria, F Skagerrak – Denmark, A Smyrna – Constantinople,

 F Sweden - Norway (*Fails*), A Ukraine Supports A Moscow, A Warsaw - Livonia.


Now Proposed – Concession to France.  Please Vote, NVR=No.

W 21/S 22 Deadline is April 29th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Trieste, Vienna=3, Even

England:          Belgium, Brest, Bulgaria, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Naples, Norway, Paris,

Smyrna, Spain, St Petersburg, Tunis=13, Remove 1 or 2

France:            Portugal=1, Plays 1 Short

Germany:         Ankara, Berlin, Constantinople, Denmark, Greece, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Moscow, Munich,

                        Rome, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Sweden, Venice, Warsaw=17, Build 2




(BOOB to DUCK): You ignorant slut, Jane, they CAN'T kill you in the crossfire, they're moving away from you.  Time to strike fear in their hearts!


LIVE WIRE AUSTRIA to PRESS ZOMBIE OF SMITH STREET:  “Zombieishness”?  Really?  Are you kidding?  I’d try to kill your zombie ass, but that’s take shooting you in the brain … and I can’t hit something that doesn’t exist.


VIENNA to MUNICH, LONDON AND LISBON:  I propose a concession to France.  If it doesn’t pass, we’re going to war.


DON to FRED AND HARLEY:  Are you two really going to let Jim Burgess be right about something?  That’s like letting matter and anti-matter touch … like letting two black holes collide with each other … like letting Lindsay Lohan out on OR and expecting sobriety for ….um, 15 minutes.  In other words, letting Burgess be right about anything – he’s an economist after all – will surely end life on Earth as we know it.  (Given the length of this game – it’s 147 in Dog Years – that would be a blessing.  Please, let the sweet, merciful Hand of Death embrace us all and release us from this neverending dream ….)


DON to HANK:  I propose we don’t end our other game the way we’ve apparently decided to end this one.  Deal?



Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, End Game




Tom Howell: Around 1906 or so, when Austria started making gains, I started just wanting this thing to be over.  I was writing good orders for Austria, and decent enough orders for the weaker powers.  Then several of the

other players started moving the Austrian units backwards.  After that, I started writing the same kind of orders for the weaker powers.  A couple of the other players were writing good enough orders for Austria.   Between the three or four of us, we managed to make the net movement of the Austrian units go in the right direction.  The end result shows the perennial importance of being in the right place at the right time.  Which is to say, it was just luck! Thanks to Doug for running this.  Thanks to the forward moving Austrian order writers.  Thanks to Doug for putting Burgess in other countries most of the time.  And final thanks to Doug for running something else next time.


Brad Wilson: I loved doing everything I could to push Austria to the win. I especially liked my ring-around-the-rosey Turkish orders that kept the Muslim hordes bottled up.


Fun game Doug!


Austria Must Not Win: I only began contributing to this game rather late in its course of play (after Austria already had a big lead). Was the 'fix' already in? Did/does everyone feel 'sorry' for Austria? You are (mostly) all 'Red Toadies' is all I gotta say.


Rick Desper: Well, the game's over.  I think it's pointless to try to win a game where power assignment changes from turn to turn.  So I just played to try to help  certain powers grow.  Initially, I was mostly trying to help Austria, esp. in terms of getting Austria into Italy and building more fleets.  I think Austrian fleets are fun.  After a while, I decided it would make sense to also put some effort into building up England.  The idea there was to have a second candidate for winning the game.   And no point did it seem sensible to try to coordinate an anti-Austrian alliance.  After all, I wanted the game to actually end, regardless if whether I was the "winner."  And really, the only way that Austria would fail to win would be if another power got enough centers to threaten to win.  Some players seemed to think that, if England held back, the others minor powers might work together to stop Austria.  That was never going to work.  The only power that could stop Austria was Austria himself, unless a 2nd power grew large.


Oh, after seeing that a player was "Italy Must Win" I started signing press "Italy Must Die."  That was fun, esp. when I had control of Austria for some vital early moves. 


ITALY MUST WIN: Yes, as you all knew from the beginning, Jim-Bob was "Italy Must Win", and that was my goal in the game.  I think it would have been more fun if others of you had handles.  If Doug plays this again, I think handles should be required.  My efforts to make Italy win of course really made you guys make Austria win.  Once Italy wasn't going to win, I did everything I could to keep the game going and stop Austria from winning, but most of you (especially Tom) were relentless.  It was a fun little ditty though, wasn't it?


Diplomacy - “Lighthouse” – 2011A – F 08

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): A Trieste Supports A Vienna (*Cut*),

 A Vienna Supports A Trieste (*Cut*).

England (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): F Wales - Liverpool (*Bounce*).

France (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” gmail.com): F Belgium Supports F English Channel,

 F English Channel Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea (*Cut*), A Holland Supports A Kiel,

 A Kiel Supports A Munich, A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Bounce*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea,

 A Munich Supports A Kiel, A Picardy Hold, F Rome - Naples (*Bounce*), F Tunis - Ionian Sea (*Fails*),

 A Tyrolia Supports A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Disbanded*), F Tyrrhenian Sea - Naples (*Bounce*).

Germany (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): A Edinburgh - Liverpool (*Bounce*).

Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A Tuscany - Piedmont (*Bounce*).

Russia (Fred Wiedemeyerwiedem “of” telus.net): F Adriatic Sea Supports A Venice,

 F Aegean Sea Supports F Ionian Sea, A Berlin Supports A Silesia, A Bohemia – Tyrolia,

 A Budapest - Vienna (*Bounce*), F Denmark - Baltic Sea, A Galicia - Vienna (*Bounce*), F Ionian Sea Hold,

 F London - English Channel (*Bounce*), F North Sea - English Channel (*Bounce*), A Serbia - Trieste (*Fails*),

 A Sevastopol – Moscow, A Silesia Supports A Berlin, F St Petersburg(nc) – Norway, A Sweden – Denmark,

 A Venice Supports A Bohemia – Tyrolia, A Warsaw - Prussia.


Russia Wins!

EOG Statements due by April 29th at 7:00am my time


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Trieste, Vienna=2, Even

England:          Liverpool=1, Even

France:            Belgium, Brest, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Naples, Paris, Portugal, Rome,

Spain, Tunis=12, Build 1

Germany:         Edinburgh=1, Even

Italy:                None=0, OUT!

Russia:             Ankara, Berlin, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Denmark, Greece, London, Moscow, Norway,

                        Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Smyrna, St Petersburg, Sweden, Venice, Warsaw=18, WINS!



Germany: Off to a game at Goodison Park!


VIENNA to ROME:  Looking at the smoke coming up from the Vatican, my friend, and it’s a hazy shade of gray … not what I’d expected under the circumstances.  Assuming I do outlast you here, there is no justifiable way that I should have outlasted you here.  In my memoirs, I plan to confess to a engaging in a much higher, purer and superior form of practical sycophancy tha you do.  (Put another way, I apparently kiss ass way better than you do!)


AUSTRIA to THE OTHER BRIGHTLY COLORED BLOCKS:  Don’t know that I’ve ever seen this before, but we may be standing in the doorway of ignominious shame historical greatness all together here as one;  it appears that Russia could win this with 18 without ANY of the Great Powers having been eliminated.  Fat chance at this moment, but I challenge Fred to try to pull it off.  I, for one, will sing his praises especially if it buys us all a few more turns to figure out how to thwart this travesty. (Psst, don’t tell Fred Turkey’s been eliminated … I hear he’s color blind and can’t tell red from yellow.  I’ve told him A TRI is really the Sultan’s!)



Diplomacy “Jerusalem” 2012A, W 04

Seasons Separated By Player Request

Austria (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Retreat A Budapest - Galicia..Remove A Galicia,

 A Tyrolia..Has A Vienna.

England (John Biehljerbil “of” shaw.ca): Build A London..Has F Barents Sea, F English Channel,

 F Irish Sea, A London, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F North Sea, A St Petersburg.

France (Jack McHugh jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): Has F Brest, A Gascony, A Paris, A Spain.

Germany (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): Build A Berlin..Has A Berlin, A Bohemia,

 A Marseilles, A Munich, A Picardy, F Western Mediterranean.

Italy (Mark Firth – mark.r.firth “of” capita.co.uk): Retreat A Tyrolia - Piedmont.. Build F Naples..Has

 F Adriatic Sea, F Ionian Sea, F Naples, A Piedmont, A Trieste.

Russia (Richard Weiss – richardweiss “of” higherquality.com): Remove F Sevastopol..Has A Moscow,

 A Prussia, A Warsaw.

Turkey (Geoff Kemp - ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): Build F Smyrna, A Constantinople..Has A Albania,

 F Black Sea, A Budapest, A Constantinople, F Greece, A Rumania, A Serbia, F Smyrna.


S 05 Deadline is April 29th at 7:00am my time




T - A "I thought you did?"


France-board: i will no longer answer letters in this game but i will read them so you may write me but i will not reply..


London (Dec 31, 1904) King John was screaming, "I knew it, that Halloween Ball, it was that mad King Jacques who insults me! Lies? He accuses me of lying? What an ingrate! And after I'd offered him a position of Flunkiness. Well, Jacques, you flunked out! No more Flunkiness for you! *(Unless , of course, there's a real case of flunkiness)

John - Don: I don't write press? Huh? I've written plenty. You just haven't noticed (so go back and 'seek and ye shall find')


Eng - Ita: Marching into Tri? Bad idea, Roman boy wonder.


GERMANY to RUSSIA:  What do you mean there’s no John?  There’s always a John here somewhere.  It’s in the 1976 Edition of the Diplomacy Rules.  If there’s really no John – and I think you’re lying about that, too, Ivan – then this game is in serious danger of being called “irregular”.


DON to DOUG:  And, as you know, irregularity can be a very serious (and messy) problem …


Doug – Don: A few Fig Newtons before bed helps.


SOCRATES to THE PRESS ZOMBIE OF SMITH STREET:  The only way you could help is by turning one or more of these players into zombies … oh, and if you avoided writing more brain-killing press.  I’m down to my last little bit amygdala … and you know how I get when it’s just the lizard brain part of me that’s functioning … reaction, reaction, reaction and no writing ability at all …


KAISER to CZAR TSAR:  Czar?  What are you, Ivan, Polish?  Hey, sorry about not writing.  It’s all Burgess’s fault.  He reduces even the most loquacious of us into gibbering, drooling, monosyllabic fools …


GYPSIES, TRAMPS & THIEVES to ITALY:  Don’t mind us.  We’re just here to read your fortune.  Or create it for you.


DON QUIXOTE to DULCINEA:  I’m Don Quixote!  The Man of La Mancha!  My destiny calls and I must … SQUIRREL!  (Kind of been like that all game for me.)  Panchita, I will say a rosary or two in your name, and slay a million windmills to avenge your untimely passing.  Just as soon as I can figure out who’s doing what to whom …


GERMANY to RUSSIA:  Really?  I finally call off the dogs and you launch yourself right across the friggin’ border like a sugared-up five year old with cotton candy breath?  Hey, dude, I admit it, okay?  I met my match.  You are bigger, better, stronger, cooler and hipper than I am, Ivan.  I’ve been weighed, measured, and found wanting.  I am Yin to your Yang.  Red Sox to your Yankees.  Coyote to your Roadrunner … I am Bob Olsen to your Kathy Caruso.  We measured our stuff and, yes, yours is bigger.  Hugely, in fact … I’m so embarrassed.  I sit abased at your feet, ashamed of having been bested by my better.  Now, would you back up and please go attack Turkey before you catch a scimitar across your scapulas?  No harm (okay, just a little harm), no foul.


GERMANY to ITALY:  Not that you shouldn’t being very much the same, Mr. Firth …


Diplomacy “Walkerdine” 2012D, W 01

Seasons Separated by Player Request

Austria (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” yahoo.com): Build A Vienna, A Budapest..Has A Budapest,

 F Greece, A Serbia, A Tyrolia, A Vienna.

England (Marc Ellinger - mellinger “of” bbdlc.com): Build F London..Has A Edinburgh, F London,

 F North Sea, F Norway.

France (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): Build F Brest, F Marseilles..Has F Brest, F Marseilles,

 A Picardy, F Portugal, A Spain.

Germany (Steve Cooley – tmssteve “of” gmail.com): Build F Kiel, A Berlin..Has A Berlin, F Denmark,

 A Holland, F Kiel, A Munich.

Italy (Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): Build A Rome..Has A Piedmont, A Rome, F Tunis, A Venice.

Russia (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): Build A Warsaw..Has F Constantinople,

 F Gulf of Bothnia, A Rumania, A Silesia, A Warsaw.

Turkey (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): Build F Smyrna..Has F Aegean Sea, A Bulgaria,

 A Sevastopol, F Smyrna.


Deadline for S 02 Will Be April 29th at 7am My Time




Italy to France: I am impressed with your lyrical-writing ability.  The Railroad is one of my favorite songs performed Grand Funk, one that I think is overlooked and not played often due to its length.  I must object to you reference to me as being not trustworthy.  Did I attack you?  No, I did not.  I simply moved to protect my western border.  I could have attacked Austria, but did I do that?  No, I did not.  I think you are listening to someone who, for reasons known only to himself, feels the need to “cross-game” and attack me through a surrogate when he is not even in a game with me.


GM – Italy: I feel the need to point out that this is a Black Press game, so while France may have written that press, he then again may not have.


Italy to GM: What did I tell you?  It is really sad when a player is so obsessed with someone that they try to ruin the fun of the game when they are not even in the same game.  Pathetic really when you think about it.


GM – Italy: Who exactly are you referring to?


Anonymous: Mr. Ellinger*


We’re scared of you, Mr. Ellinger,

Fear of you has filled us all with woe.  (Woe!  Woe!  Woe!)

Oh spare us, please, Mr. Ellinger!

Hope you’ll let us stay awhile and play …

(Play, play, play … play, play, play.)

We’d like to figure out just how you got so ghod-damned good.
We’d like understand … to help ourselves.

Can you speak the truth without your treachery and lies?

Try it once, just once, perhaps you’ll get it right.

And England’s yours, Mr. Ellinger -

Germany and France will never know (Know, know, know!)

Your schemes for them, Mr. Ellinger:

Hell-on-Earth is just turn away …

(Turn a-way … turn a-way.)


Stab the trusting German where the sun don’t ever shine.
Bayonette the Frenchman - with your eyes closed …
It'll be no secret just how bad you screwed them both.

Best of all, you’ll get to listen to their screams!


Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, Mr. Ellinger!

Croc-o-diles feel more guilt than you. (True, true, true!)

With well-faked tears, Mr. Ellinger,

You’re Oscar-bound to Hollywood someday …

(Day, day, day … day, day, day …)

Peering at the orders in the Sunshine game report -

Offer up a two-way to the Sultan?
Lie about it, scheme about it,
If he’s suckered in …

Ev’ry way you look at this you’ll win!

Where have they gone, France and Germany?

And why have all their home dots turned dark blue?  (Blue, blue, blue!)

What’s that you said, Mr. Ellinger?

Germany and France are cold and dead!

(Dead, dead, dead … dead, dead, dead ... )


Sung to the tune of “Mrs. Robinson” by Simon & Garfunkel


(FRANCE to ITALY): Methinks you are majorly confused.  Don't expect me to help.  May your metal clad you in deafness.,...




Black Press Gunboat, “Fred Noonan”, 2013Arb32, W 01

Seasons Separated by Player Request

Austria: Build A Budapest..Has A Budapest, F Greece, A Serbia, A Vienna.

England: Build F Liverpool..Has A Belgium, F English Channel, F Liverpool, F North Sea.

France: Build F Marseilles, F Brest..Has F Brest, F Marseilles, A Paris, F Portugal, A Spain.

Germany: Build F Kiel, A Munich..Has F Denmark, A Holland, F Kiel, A Munich, A Ruhr.

Italy: Build A Venice, F Naples..Has F Naples, A Trieste, F Tunis, A Tyrolia, A Venice.

Russia: Build A Moscow..Has F Black Sea, F Gulf of Bothnia, A Moscow, A Norway, A Rumania.

Turkey: Build A Smyrna, F Ankara..Has F Ankara, A Bulgaria, F Constantinople, A Sevastopol, A Smyrna.


Deadline for S 02 Will Be April 29th at 7am My Time




France – Germany:    Waiting to take Belgium in the fall is a good idea so that I can help you.  By the way, Russia looks to be very inviting!


(Berlin) - The Kaiser today announced bafflement that the Czar is upset over the recent conflict in Sweden. "Did he really think we would stand by and allow him such aggrandizement on our borders? Surely the Czar is NOT in control! We are pleased that the Sultan has taken suitable steps to protect his border." The Kaiser confirmed that negotiations are underway with representatives of both Turkey and England.


Ber-Mos: Really? Really? Really?! Going for 3? Are you surprised you failed? It would be better if you concentrate on your own backyard and not interfere with Germany.


France - Germany: Glad to see we can work things out.


Rome - Munich: Don't panic and do something stupid.


France – England: It would appear to me, my friend, that you are going to have some trouble heading your way from the north.  Do you really think you can trust Russia?  I don’t think so!


T => A: Italy did press his attack. I want now Gre and Ser.


T => R: Herewith the Sultan of Turkey declares war on Russia.


T => I: Please respect that Ser, Gre, AEG, and EMS belong to the Turkish sphere of influence. If you do, we can stay friends for a very long time.



Ha ha, very funny!

As you wish, Arm - Sev has triggered war between Russia and Turkey.



Turkey attacked me so perhaps we can cooperate soon?

Regards, Russia.



Obviously the obvious is not obvious!!

I'm more likely to be an ally than England, did you notice the English Army in Belgium?!

Now is the time to change your mind.

Would you like support into the North Sea in a couple of turns?

Regards, Russia.



Diplomacy “Sweet Spot” 2013A, F 01

Austria (Fred Wiedemeyerwiedem “of” telus.net): F Albania – Greece,

 A Budapest - Rumania (*Bounce*), A Galicia Supports A Budapest - Rumania.

England (Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): A Edinburgh – Yorkshire,

 F North Sea Supports F Norwegian Sea – Norway, F Norwegian Sea - Norway.

France (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A Burgundy Supports A Tyrolia – Munich,

 F English Channel – Belgium, A Marseilles - Spain.

Germany (Jack McHugh jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): F Denmark – Sweden, A Kiel - Berlin (*Bounce*),

 A Munich - Berlin (*Dislodged*, retreat to Bohemia or Ruhr or OTB).

Italy (Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): A Apulia – Tunis,

 F Ionian Sea Convoys A Apulia – Tunis, A Tyrolia - Munich.

Russia (Chris Babcock – cbabcock “of” asciiking.com ): F Gulf of Bothnia - Baltic Sea,

 F Sevastopol - Rumania (*Bounce*), A Silesia - Berlin (*Bounce*), A St Petersburg - Norway (*Fails*).

Turkey (Larry Peerypeery “of” ix.netcom.com;): A Bulgaria Supports F Sevastopol – Rumania,

 F Constantinople - Aegean Sea, A Syria Hold.


Deadline for Winter 01/Spring 02 Will Be April 29th at 7am My Time

Seasons Will Be Separated on Two Requests

Any Press Submitted Will Be Printed Unless Marked “Spring Only”


Supply Center Chart


Austria:            Budapest, Greece, Trieste, Vienna=4, Build 1

England:          Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway=4, Build 1

France:            Belgium, Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Spain=5, Build 2

Germany:         Berlin, Kiel, Sweden=3, Even or Build 1

Italy:                Munich, Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice=5, Build 2

Russia:             Moscow, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Warsaw=4, Even

Turkey:            Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Smyrna=4, Build 1

Unowned:        Denmark, Holland, Portugal, Rumania, Serbia.




Fra - Ita: Heath, what the hell is Larry doing in Syria? Then again, do we care what the hell Larry's doing in Syria? Is it our fate to gossip about what the hell Larry is doing in Syria so we can make him happy?


(Moscow) - "Sire! We've just received a dispatch from our agent in Berlin! The Germans have made peace with the French! They are going to support them into the North Sea! Sweden is ours!" The Czar grunted. "You believe in the Easter Bunny, don't you?" he growled. "Fool!" The Czar's meaty fist slammed down onto his ornate desk. "The Kaiser will promise everything and deliver nothing in order to save Munich! Proceed with my orders! Nothing has changed!"


England to Europe: Never trust the frogs.  I wonder how many cars on blocks she will put up in front of the palace.


Syria - Turkey: What the hell?! This is a CLOSED set! (Two points for anyone who knows what movie that line is from *g*)


Anon: The assistant timidly knocked on the closed door, then gently opened it. He winced when he heard the Woman yelling. Taking a deep breath, he entered the room and closed the door behind him. "Madam?" he barely whispered. Then he cleared his throat. "Madam!"


The Woman, eyes blazing in fury, spun around to glare at him. "What?"


"It's the English ambassador, Madam. Well, and the German ambassador as well. Both wish to speak with you immediately upon matters of the utmost urgency. They...demand to see you now."


"Demand?" The Woman slowly got to her feet. "What do they have to demand about?"


"The English ambassador is most perturbed about our fleet in the English Channel and the German ambassador is unhappy with our presence in Burgandy."


"Well, you can tell the English ambassador that I'm 'most perturbed' about The Shield running amok and doing whatever they damn well they please! You can also remind the English ambassador that the English Channel is so-named because of convenience and NOT because of ownership! You can inform the English Ambassador that I'm 'perturbed' about his countrymen running through the streets of Paris like rubes who just hit town with the egg money!"


"And the German ambassador?" the assistant winced.


"Tell HIM that Burgandy belongs to France and we'll go to our own territory whenever we feel like it!  AND advise the German ambassador that I'm still waiting for my invitation to Oktoberfest!"


"But it's March..."  The assistant quickly backed away.


"I DON'T CARE!"  The Woman took a deep breath.  "Now, go!"  She turned back to the television set.  "I'm trying to watch my soaps!"




A Bay Area Problem: What To Do If You Are Attacked by a Wild Turkey:  (Photos and videos omitted)  Turkeys have moved in force into Northern California’s Bay Area with sightings reported in Montclair, Martinez, Albany, and Walnut Creek. Can Concord, home of world famous Dipper Edi Birsan, be far behind?  Jonathan Roisman reports: “On a recent drive in Oakland’s Montclair neighborhood, a motorist stopped at a stop sign and instantly found herself surrounded by wild turkeys. When the driver honked, the birds responded by pecking the car’s tires and door. Minutes passed with the driver paralyzed until finally an intrepid resident emerged to shoo the big birds away. It was just another day in the Bay Area, where turkeys are growing steadily more bold. In Albany on Monday, residents went before the City Council to formulate a strategy for ridding themselves of about 30 of the wild birds roaming the city. But scientists say it may be too late to stop the birds’ encroachment into Bay Area suburbia. Wild turkeys are becoming more common in California neighborhoods. Turkey populations in general over the past several years have been increasing in California. Turkeys are very tolerant living in and among people. Turkey populations grow in suburban areas because food is abundant, especially because some people enjoy feeding them. We’re always going to have turkeys in our urban areas. We’re a good turkey habitat. The fowls were originally introduced into the state (of California) in the early 20th century. Nearly 3,000 arrived in California between 1959 and 1988 alone. The earliest turkeys reportedly arrived as pets imported by pilots of the Turkish Air Force training at Travis and Beale AFB in northern California. Since then the state’s turkey population has ballooned to a quarter-million. Not everyone laments the new state residents. A lot of people don’t want the birds killed. However, they can tear up gardens, damage cars and steal food. A bicyclist died last year in Martinez when he collided into a flock of turkeys. And turkeys sometimes charge the familiar faces of people who have fed them in the past, another reason not to feed them. So what should you do if you’re attacked by a turkey? Getting a permit to kill turkeys in suburban areas is nearly impossible due to a variety of laws in most cities, such as those prohibiting the discharge of a firearm. Only eight bird abatement permits were given out last year. That doesn’t mean you’re helpless, Turkeys tend to avoid flying short distances and fences are sometimes enough of a deterrent to keep them out of yards. They usually avoid homes with dogs. If they do get in your way, you can most often shoo them away if you’re aggressive about it. And, like the Wicked Witch of the West, turkeys dislike water. So if they refuse to bulge, give them a good spraying. Finding them a new home, however, is difficult because relocating birds to secluded areas is costly and logistically difficult. So for now they’ll just continue to gobble up more space in Bay Area cities. People with local turkey problems are urged to call Concord City Councilman Edi Birsan at 925-671-3158.




Normally Turkey doesn’t get much attention in the international media but recently a number of stories have appeared dealing with Turkey’s international affairs: “Turkey at the Crossroads: The country must find a balance between its Muslim identity and its Western affiliations.” (LA Times, 9 March 2013). “Israel Apologizes to Turkey Over Flotilla Deaths.” (USA Today, 22 March 2013). “Locked in a Fateful Embrace: Turkey’s PM and His Kurdish Prisoner.” (The Guardian n.d.) “Turkey, the Unhelpful Ally.” (NY Times, 27 February 2013). “Why Turkey Would Be Furious if Russia Became The Savior of Cyprus.” (BBC n.d.).  “Patriots in Turkey Send Clear Warning to Syria: Germany.” (Reuters, 23 February 2013)”Kerry Calls Turkish Prime Minister’s  Remark About Zionism Objectionable.” (CNN, 2 March 2013). “Turkey’s Foray Into the Fertile Crescent.” (NY Times, 27 February 2013). “Frustrated Turkey Still Wants EU Entry, But Maybe Not the Euro.” (Reuters, 13 February 2013).



1. Turkey is part of the Middle East.

2. The women all wear burqas

3. You can’t drink alcohol, find pork, or eat during Ramadan.

4. It’s a hot, desert climate and everyone rides a camel.

5. The food is spicy.

6. Men have harems.

7. They speak Arabic.

8. It’s a war zone.

9. They hate Americans.


None of the above is true in Istanbul. However, the further out of Istanbul you go, the greater the chance of running into stricter Muslim practices. It’s the same as if you compared New York City and Moab, Utah; and you’re looking for Mormon influences.



If you like luxury resorts with lots of outdoor activities, especially golf, you might enjoy the Xanadu Resort in Belek, about 20 miles from Antalya on the German Riveria.  Lepanto Opening lovers would enjoy the area which was occupied by the Italians from the end of the First World War until the founding of the Turkish Republic in 1923. Seven nights at the five star resort will cost you about USD 750, far less than you’d pay in a comparable US resort.




Soap operas are an international addiction. I myself have recently become infatuated with Korean soaps which are far better than American ones or Downton Abbey. But I surprised to discover that Turkish soap operas are all the rage in Greece. A Greek facebook page for Halit Ergenc, who plays Suleyman I in the controversial Turkish soap Magnificent Century has nearly 23,000 fans. Another reason the Turkish soaps are popular is costs. One episode of a Turkish soap costs about 1/10th of what a MORE PIECES FROM TURKEY

soap made in Greece costs.




A 22-ton bridge disappeared from the Golcuk district of Kocaeli Province in Turkey earlier this month. That’s right: A steel structure weighing roughly 44,000 pounds and stretching 82 feet just up and left. No note. No forwarding address. No nothing. Local police believe the bridge was dismantled by thieves and sold for scrap. This isn’t the first time a bridge has dropped from sight. The same thing happened a few years ago in Pennsylvania and a much larger bridge recently disappeared in Russia.




As I mentioned before Turkey is on a dam building spree in its economically backward SE region. One of the more interesting projects under construction is the USD 1.5 billion Ilisu Dam project, located just 25 miles from the Syrian border and 45 miles from the Iraq border on the Tigris River. The project is just over half done and 55,000 people lost their homes and 74,000 acres of land will go under water when its done, assuming it is completed.




Seven giant Turkish companies have pledged USD 3.2 million to help finance Turkey’s bid to host the 2020 Olympics. Perhaps more interesting is that Greece has pledged its 100% support of the Turkish bid.

For more news about Turkey (in English) check out http://www.worldbulletin.net



Woolworth II-D “Coney Island” 2013Bcb19, S 01


Austria (Secret): A Vie-Gal, A Bud S A Vie-Gal, F Tri-Ven.

Balkans (Secret): A Bul-Rum, A Ser S A Bul-Rum, F Gre-Alb

England (Secret): F Lon-Eng, F Edi-Nwg, A Lvp-Wal.

France (Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): F BreEng, A Par-Pic, A Mar-Bur.

Germany (Marc Ellinger - mellinger “of” bbdlc.com): F Kie-Hol, A Ber-Kie, A Mun-Swi.

Italy (Secret): F Nap-Apu, F Rom-Tys, A Ven-Tri.
Russia (Jim Burgess - jfburgess “of” gmail.com): A Stp-Lvn, A War-Gal, A Mos-War, F Sev-Bla.

Scandinavia (Geoff Kemp - ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): F Nwy-Nwg, F Den-Nth, A Swe-Den.
Spain (Secret): A Por – Bas, F Mor – MAO, F Mad - WMS

Turkey (Hugh Polleyhapolley “of” yahoo.ca): F Ank-Con, A Smy-Syr, A Con-Smy.


Deadline for Fall 01 is April 29th at 7am My Time



Anon: We are most alarmed at having to make aggressive moves on our neighbour Austria.  What if he is a public ally?  Austria please keep your Fleet in Tri and I will please keep my army in Ven,  we can be good neighbours by not having our forces enter Tyr and ADR. If a foolish third party does enter Tyr we will jointly support Tri to Tyr, if a foolish third party does enter ADR, Austria  can support any Italian fleet in range to ADR.  A nice defensive situation for peace loving; UN members,  in good standing.


Italy To Athens: a wonderful place for sun and fun with many a potential visitor  looking to bask in Greek culture!  Thank god I did not draw that secret power as it is surrounded on all sides by T/A/R, a diplomatic nightmare.  Keep out of my way, stay out of Ion, and I will not challenge you for Crete! Anger me by moving to Ion, and I will challenge for Crete or support Turkey F Smy there.


Profitable  Power Pack Proposal:  We the secret powers are united and will eliminate all the public powers so we can  play a proper game of gunboat Dip plo-macy!


Unknown Secret power to all other central secret powers: how come we are all jammed up against one another while Mr Bugess gets to relax far from the action in Mos!  Game designer must have been Russian.



Can you the central powers afford to let Russia sit back while you go about fighting, let Russia grab all the candy?  Once Russia has build and England has build they can sweep the North, then the South!


Sherlock of Austria to Known great powers: let's see if I will be the first to reveal a great power and his stooge!  My second choice was England yet I did not get England for my known or Secret Power. It is curious that Editor Kent would give such a weak exposed power to his fellow publisher Kemp, their names even sound alike, how could he hang him out to dry?


So what is the most powerful secret power, the one that all must fear? Would that not be England!  Lon to Eng, Edi-Nth, lpl-NAO-Ice; and you’re in heaven before the devil knows your gone!  You could even create a quick super power by arranging for England to take  Nwy !  It would be wise to keep a close eye on Scandinavia.  Please send in your yes or no vote for 'is England Scandinavia's secret Power'!


BALKAN WARS to FIVE AND DIMERS: Well, here I am, talk to me through the press, I am lonely!!!


BALKAN WARS to TURKEY: Note I made the moves away from you, can we talk about my other neighbors?



By Almost Popular Demand

The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the a popular answer but NOT the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. However, if your answer is the most popular answer, you score ZERO.  The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer.  Your score for this answer will be doubled.  In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.  Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds, and the score is doubled for Round 10.  A prize will be awarded to the winner.  Research is permitted!


Round 2 Categories

1.    A serial killer (real name or nickname).

2.    A film with Nicole Kidman.

3.    Something you buy at a gas station.

4.    A city in China.

5.    An English King.


Selected Comments By Category


Serial Killer – Larry Peery “Jack the Ripper (who was actally the Duke of Clarence). Did you know that the Duke of Clarence is the only recent royal not buried at Windsor, by the express instructions of Queen Victoria. Rumor has it that she had been told secretly by Scotland Yard that he was Jack the Ripper.”  Richard Weiss “Jack the Ripper. (I started with English King's and listened to Warren Zevon and Grateful Dead recently) I don't think Charles Manson qualifies.  Ted Bundy not well enough known.” Per Westling “Pedro Alonso López, aka The Monster of the Andes. Pretty depressing to read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_serial_killers_by_number_of_victims  Marc Ellinger “This is a brutal question (all puns intended), since there are only a few really famous serial killers (jack the ripper, green river, bundy).   But Son of Sam seems to be an option.”


Nicole Kidman – Larry Peery “a movie with Nicole Kidman is Australia which is a better travel pic than movie. On the other hand, here's a bit of trivia to go with her story. She's a descendent of the sheep staton Kidmans who at one time were the largest landowners in Australia. It's said that you could drive a herd of sheep from Darwin in the Northern Territories to Adelaide on the south coast without ever leaving the Kidman's land. The huge empire was required for sheep raising because of the need for large amounts of grazing land and water rights in different areas. By accumulating these various sheep stations (e.g. ranches) the Kidmans could feed, water, and move their vast sheep holdings as needed. In later years much of the empire was sold off, including the  250,000 acre Paroo-Darling station which became the Peery National Park in New South Wales. Although called a "national" park the Peery National Park was really a state (NSW) park. The reason it was named Peery National Park was for James William Peery, my late brother. Among other things James was a hydrologist and he and a couple of partners had discovered a vast underground lake under the Paroo River basis and filed a mineral (In Australia water is considered a mineral, just like gold, silver, etc.) claim with the government. That claim potentially was worth millions. As part of its Bicentennial Celebration the Australian government decided to expect the country's national park system. A prime candidate for acquisition was the former Kidman sheep station in the Paroo-Darling (river ) basin. The Kidmans offered to sell it to the government for $1 per acre and everyone thought it was a done deal until the lawyers discovered that water rights claim that Peery had filed years earlier. The claim had to be cleared before the land's title could change. James had died (That's another story.) some time before under mysterious circumstances. His two partners agreed to sell the claim to the government for a nominal sum on one condition, that the new park be named for James; and that's how Peery National Park came to exist.  I visited the Park when I went to WDC III. It was a vast, dry river bed that was without water at least 9 years out of 10, but during that 10th year it would become a vast river and series of lakes only a foot or so deep. That would last a few months and then it would all dry up again. There was nothing there, not even a sign, when I was there. The only way in or out was by small plane. The park ranger responsible for the park lived in Bourke, 250 miles away. Even the Australians consider it to be the most desolate area of a desolate area. After a period of years Peery National Park was formally renamed and became part of the Paroo-Darling National Park. For more on the story, photos, and such do a Google search.”  Jim Burgess “I was tempted to choose Bewitched, but this should be the interesting choice, a Kubrick film through and through.”


Congrats to Paraic Reddington for scoring 22 points, the high score for the round.  Poor Rick Desper hit the most popular answer in 3 categories, leaving him with only 2 points.


Gas Station – Jim Burgess “I think gas will NOT be the most popular choice.”


China – Richard Weiss “I'd like to say Taipei, but would lose on that.”  Per Westling “Have a lot of business with Nanjing so I go for that even though it is only 13th place on a mere 8 million... Did not know that Chonging was largest about a third larger than Beijing at place 2.”


English King – Rick Desper “I feel kind of obligated as a Richard son of a Richard.”  Kevin Wilson “The question is will players differentiate between English kings and British Kings.  If they go with English Kings, then I think Henry VIII could be #1.  If the distinction isn't picked up, then George III might rank high.  I think it will be a bit of both so I'll go with George III.”  Paraic Reddington “This will be interesting to see if the correct numbering is used.”  Per Westling “My first thought was for one of the British monarch that has been since 1707, so I had to choose from one of the older Kings.”  Marc Ellinger “Henry VIII – If for no other reason than Herman’s Hermits!   I’m ‘enry the Eighth I am, ‘enry the Eighth I am, Iam, everyone sing along!”  [[There was a lot of that going on with that answer.]]


Round 3 Categories

1.    A comedian.

2.    A film with Harrison Ford.

3.    A dish you order at a Chinese restaurant.

4.    A brand of purse.

5.    A member of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young


Deadline for Round 3 is April 29th at 7:00am my time




Eternal Sunshine Movie Photo Contest


There are ten rounds of movie photos, and each round consists of ten photos.  Identify the film each photo is from.  Anyone may enter at any point. If you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to.  The game will consist of 10 rounds.  A prize will be awarded to the winner – and it might be a very good prize!  Research is not permitted!  That means NO RESEARCH OF ANY KIND, not just no searches for the photos themselves.  The only legal “research” is watching movies to try and locate the scenes.  Each round will also contain one bonus question, asking what the ten movies being quoted have in common.  The player with the most correct answers each round gets 3 points, 2nd place gets 2 points, and 3rd place gets 1 point.  In the event of ties, multiple players get the points (if three players tie for first, they EACH get 3 points).  High score at the end of ten rounds wins the game, and a prize (unless you cheated).  If there’s enough participation I may give a prize for 2nd and maybe even 3rd place overall too.  The final round will be worth double points.


Round 7



1-The Accused.  Correct – AL, KW.  A League of Their Own–RD,PR,JM. Milagro Beanfield War-BW

2- Places in the Heart.  Correct – RD.   National Velvet – BW.  The Something Land – AL.  Norma Rae – KW.  Witness – PR.  Cold Mountain – JM.

3- The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.  Correct – RD, BW, AL. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – JM.

4- The Country Girl.  Correct - PR  All About Eve – RD.   Look Back in Anger – BW.  The Iceman Cometh – AL.  Executive Suite – JM.

5- Dead Man Walking.  Correct – RD, AL, KW, AY, HA.  Birdman of Alcatraz – BW.  The Weight of Water – PR.  The Falcon and the Snowman – JM.

6-Blue Sky.  Correct – RD, KW, PR, JM.  Heartbreak Ridge – BW.

7-Jezebel.  Correct – RD.  Gone with the Wind – BW.  Madame Bovary – JM.

8-Funny Girl.  Correct – RD, AL, KW.  Star! – BW.  Hello Dolly – JM.

9-Darling.  Breakfast at Tiffany’s – BW.  Anatomy of a Breakdown – AL.  Gidget – AY.

10-Two Women.  The Good Earth – RD.  The Sound of Music – BW.

Bonus – What do these films all have in common?  All Won Best Actress.  Correct – RD, AL, KW.  All American Films – BW.  All lead actor’s first film – PR.


Points This Round: Rick Desper [RD] – 7; Andy Lischett [AL] – 5; Kevin Wilson [KW] – 5; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 2; Brendan Whyte [BW] – 1; Andy York [AY] – 1; Hank Alme [HA] – 1; Jack McHugh [JM] - 1.


Scores So Far: Rick Desper [RD] – 18; Kevin Wilson [KW] – 10; Andy Lischett [AL] – 7; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 6; Andy York [AY] – 5; Jack McHugh [JM] – 5; Hank Alme [HA] – 4; Kevin Tighe [KT] – 3; Brad Wilson [BW] – 2; Don Williams [DW] – 1.


Round 8












Bonus – What do these films all have in common?


Deadline for Round 8 is April 29th at 7:00am my time


General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:  April 29th, 2013 at 7:00am my time.


See You Then!