September 2013

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

Email: diplomacyworld@yahoo.com or dougray30@yahoo.com

On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at http://www.diplomacyworld.net.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/ to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata. We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/EternalSunshDip, and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Check out my new Internet radio station, “Music You Should Know,” at www.live365.com/stations/musicyoushouldknow

Quote Of The Month – “You had the whole human race pegged.” (Joel in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)

Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine that is preparing to bring a new family member into our household, namely a senior Black Lab named “Miss Piggy.” And no, it isn’t because she is fat (although she is chunky)…it’s because she snorts when she wants something, much like Kayza used to moan when she wanted something. Better (and quieter) than barking all the time!

Before we put Kayza to sleep, Heather swore that she did not want another dog, ever. I knew that wouldn’t hold, and it took about two days of missing Kayza so terribly before Heather recanted and started looking for someone for us to adopt. Originally we wanted another senior dog, but a smaller breed. As it worked out, after meeting a few candidates, Miss Piggy was “the one.” She’s smaller in size and weight than Kayza, but just as sweet and smart. Probably about 9 years old, we intend to spoil her during her “retirement” for as long as she’ll stay with us. If you want to see her video, visit her Petfinder page at:

http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/26875999?rvp=1

…but if you just want to see what she looks like, here’s a picture:

We met her a few weeks ago, and we’ll bring her home to meet Toby and Sanka and start her new life after Labor Day. If you follow Heather or me on Facebook you can expect to see many photos…possibly too many.

In other news…

Heather has been telling me about the new Netflix series “Orange is the new Black,” about women in prison. She says they use a lot of the same terminology I do in my prison writing, and some of the stories remind her of mine (in particular one where an inmate returns from the halfway house and describes what life there is like). This seems to thoroughly discourage me, because in my mind it means the public’s appetite for prison stories like mine has now been filled, and anything I publish would be taken as some sort of copycat book. So now I can conveniently use this as an excuse not to try and approach publishers with my book.

Meanwhile, since I am not finished with the prison material entirely, I can use THAT as the excuse for why I am not working on my book about Mara nor my book about childhood. And time helps too; details that were sharp in my mind manage to fade a bit now and again. Perhaps I am successfully building yet another self-fulfilling prophecy to keep me from ever finishing or accomplishing anything.

I’m currently reading “And so it Goes,” which is Charles J. Shields insightful biography of Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (who remains my favorite author). In this book of a depressed and somewhat suicidal author who struggled for success only to find little in that success to make him happy, I did discover one positive which I had forgotten: Vonnegut was effectively a failed author until his 40’s, when Slaughterhouse-5 was published. Only then did his prior works receive most of the attention they deserved. So I guess there is still hope for me after all, until I find a way to kill it.

On another topic, my boss recently said that he thinks John Travolta is a talented actor. I found that I really disagreed with this; the only roles I ever found him to be really effective in were Blow Out and Pulp Fiction. In both cases having a very talented Director was a major cause of that, and in Pulp Fiction Travolta spends more time as a chatter-partner for SLJ than a character with his own purpose. He simply moves the action along. It’s a great role, but not especially good acting.

So this led to his question: who do *I* consider to be a great actor. As I am about to email him an answer, I figured I’d brainstorm here. I will limit the category to living actors, and then to those whom have done remarkable work in recent memory. (For example, Robert Redford may be a great actor, but offhand I cannot think of a great acting job he’s done on film during the last ten years). I will also further restrict the category to male actors, as that is what he was really asking me.

So, let’s see. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Steve Buscemi. (John Turturro is eliminated because, again, I can’t think of a worthy role in the last ten years). Albert Finney. Dustin Hoffman. Ewan McGregor, despite Star Wars. Paul Giamatti. Kevin Spacey. George Clooney, when he chooses to be. William Hurt. I know I’m forgetting quite a few, so help me out, folks!

Some of you asked about Don Williams and why he resigned from both his Diplomacy games. If you’d like to learn what’s going on with Don and follow along, check out his blog at

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/donwilliamshere

I believe he has to approve your access, but he likely will unless you start being a nuisance (like you, Jack).

In zine news…well, more of the same. Sign up for things, send feedback, participate, and maybe I’ll keep this mess of a zine going. See you in October!

Playlist: Have a Little Faith – Joe Cocker; Honky Chateau – Elton John; Live Music Europe – Joe Jackson; New Constellation – Toad the Wet Sprocket.

An Eternal Sunshine List Challenge

The late – and much missed – Richard Walkerdine is the one who suggested this topic for the next Eternal Sunshine list challenge. The basis is simple: you submit three TV series per month, over the next seven months, along with any commentary you would like to attach to your choices. In the end you’ll have 21 selections! There is not mean t to be a specific order to your choices; you’re not ranking them from best to 21^st best. Also, the category of “best” in this instance should mean something like “most enjoyable” rather than “most influential.” Finally, you should consider within the context of your choices whether the series holds up in any way…in other words, if you are listing it as one of the 21 best, could you sit down and watch episodes now and enjoy them?

Non-U.S. television series are – of course – welcome. (Many modern American series were reworked versions of English series anyway). To qualify as a “series” the show must have aired at least six episodes. All genres are welcome: comedy, horror, suspense, detective, science fiction…anything you like. Oh, and if the series has multiple incarnations (as many of the more popular science fiction series do, for example) specify which one you mean. You can list multiples, but they each take up a spot on your list…and you only get 21! I am offering prizes: two of the respondents who submit a full complement of 21 TV series will be selected at random for prizes. So to win, all you have to do is play.

Next issue: The second set of three TV series from each of you (plus 3 more if you missed round two, and 3 more if you missed round one), and from me. Remember: These are not meant to be placed in order by you, from top to bottom, unless you want to do that for some reason. And since you only have to submit three series per issue, I hope you’ll give some explanation of why you chose each one.

Geoff Kemp: Three more series:-

Well for one it has to be Monty Python's Flying Circus, zany irreverent, and like nothing else on TV, plus my parents didn't approve of it so that made it even better. Catching the occasional episode now it doesn't seem to have aged to well, Or I have grown up (Unlikely according to my kids!) but the classic sketches, such as the Dead Parrot, Spanish inquisition and Lumberjack song amongst others are still as good.

An American series that I try to catch although now running at least 2 series behind is Warehouse 13, some episodes are better than others but it seems to cover a fascinating subject with a different slant on some historical (and mythological items).

The third one, again possibly didn't cross the pond was another zany comedy called The Young Ones, starring Rik Mayall, Adrian Edmondson, Nigel Planer and Christopher Ryan which ran from about 1982 - 84 I think, featuring four students sharing a house. It was probably my first sight of the 80's alternative comedy, and whilst I enjoyed the series immensely I loathed one of the regular actors who played amongst others their landlord. This is Alexei Sayle who, whilst supposedly another icon from Alternative Comedy just, in my opinion, isn't funny. Don't let that put you off though, apart from him the series is very funny.

Andy York: Buffy the Vampire Slayer; Dr. Who; Falling Skies.

Kevin Wilson: My first 3 were sci fi, still my favorite genre. My next three are some of my all time favorites and only one is sci fi.

1. The West Wing. As Paraic said last time, "my favorite of all time" this too is my all-time favorite show. I have all 7 seasons on DVD and have watched all 7 at least 4 times. I've watched the first 4 seasons, those mainly written by and produced by Aaron Sorkin before he left, more than that. There will be other Sorkin shows on my list in the future. I stumbled upon TWW on the second episode of the first season. I was hooked from the start. When I finally got to see the pilot I was sorry I missed that too. The characters, writing and style were all novel and the best on TV, then or now. I've not yet come across another show that comes even close, including Sorkin's other stuff, all of which I own but none of which compares to TWW.

2. Spenser for Hire. I'm not sure why this one made such a connection with me. I like cop/detective shows and more of them will show up on my list in the future but this one, for some reason I can't identify, really was enjoyable for me. Were it on in this day of DVRs/Tivo/Hulu+ etc. I'm sure it would be high on my recording list so I wouldn't miss a show. I guess it was the poet-quoting, anti-hero good guy that hooked me. That or the cars. ;-)

3. Firefly. My nod to sci-fi this time. Why this show only lasted 11 episodes I will never know. I didn’t discover it while it was in its original run. I guess it was too short or I had too many other things going on in my life at that time. But I did discover it later. I now own the series on DVD and have watched it multiple times. I wouldn't call myself a Browncoat, as I'm not that kind of fan, but the series, movie and comics have all found their way to my home.

So far I've picked up a couple of shows from everyone else's comments that I missed when I made my master list. I'll have to think of the order going forward now but I'm looking forward to all the lists as they develop.

John Wilman: I have 3 SF shows in mind, two of which have been mentioned already, but for now I am going with three that go way back to the days when I first started watching TV, all of then vaguely fantastical.

First up is "Mork and Mindy", which is a reminder of how long Robin Williams has been going. Mork was my first alien and maybe the first to star in a sitcom. Next was Mr Ed, who was not an alien but a talking horse, the running gag being that he was the only character in the show who talked any sense (and only to his owner, so you could believe if you like that the guy was actually tripping on acid). And I was also a big fan of the Addams family.

Andy Lischett: John Biehl picked Bounty Hunter with Steve McQueen, but I think the show was called Wanted: Dead or Alive.

I am adding Fawlty Towers to my list after you and Hugh Polley reminded me of it. Great stuff. I may be combining episodes, but I remember Basil mistaking a guest for a hotel inspector. Basil was fawning all over him until it was revealed that the guest was a crook of some sort and (after Manuel hit the guest over the head with a frying pan?) Basil was kicking the guest in the ribs, shouting "You bastard!"

Hugh also reminded me of The Rockford Files, which may get added to my list.

4. Fawlty Towers - You bastard!

5. Adam 12 - Even though everyone talks in clipped Jack Webb sentences, I liked the simple, realistic stories (how would I know? I'm not a cop) of two patrol officers in a squad.

6. Law & Order - SVU - It's been on forever and I still watch it and its many reruns.

Richard Weiss: Interesting. Varied. I'll add three for this two, two that may be surprises because what is the definition of a "show" anyway: 60 Minutes, The Walter Cronkite News show (was Hour sometimes), and Law & Order SVU.

Dane Maslen: I think you're making a mistake in leaving some of the very best shows for later in your list. Having read other people's initial submissions I've already had to make a couple of additions to my list because I'd forgotten some classics. No doubt there'll be more in future, so I want to still have the weaker shows on my list towards the end of the seven issues so that they can be elbowed out of the way by any classics that I am suddenly reminded of. Anyway, this time I'll go for three of the best sci-fi series.

Star Trek: The Next Generation (US)

In my mind undoubtedly the best of the Star Trek franchise, though the first series was a bit wobbly. Having seen most episodes three if not four times, I can say that it definitely holds up. Not only are the plots usually much more intelligent than those of the original Star Trek, the casting of the captain is much more credible ("To baldly go where no man has gone before").

Babylon 5 (US)

This is a series that I ignored when it first aired on British TV. Based on the brief plot resumés in the TV listings, I thought it would be quite trashy. Eventually a friend at work reassured me that that was not the case, so when it was repeated several years later, I watched it and was suitably impressed. I'm fairly sure that it too would hold up to watching again.

Torchwood (UK)

A rare example of a spin-off being better than the original (or at least the original in its current form). Not in the same class as STTNG or Babylon 5, but certainly a series I would expect to enjoy if I got the opportunity to watch it again.

Dick Martin: this time around, some slightly newer material: gilligan's island, monty python's flying circus and the monkees. all delightfully goofy stuff, that hold up as well today as they ever did. say! no! more!

Marc Ellinger: 4) Space 1999 – Moonbase shooting through space after an explosion. We spent hours as kids drawing these spaceships. Martin Landau and Barbara Bain. Now it looks silly, but we believed back then.

5) Dr. Who – Best BBC show….ever. Don’t even try to argue this one, as you’ll lose and be beaten silly in the process.

6) Kolchak, the Night Stalker – I loved this show, but it was really creepy and if you watched it late enough at night, positively scary. (Next month….non-sci-fi!)

Martin Burgdorf: 4. Mit Schirm, Charme und Melone (The Avengers)

Dane is right: This series is a real classic. I live, lucky me, in a country, where great art is never forgotten, and hence I can watch it occasionally on free-view TV (unlike him). 54 episodes of this series were broadcasted a few years ago on state-owned ARTE (Association Relative à la Télévision Européenne). There were super-British John Steed and super-sexy Karate-Emma. Maybe a bit too sexy, for „Die Nacht der Sünder“ (A Touch Of Brimstone) was shown on German TV only at the end of the last century, late at night on a private channel. The scandal that caused this delay of thirty years was apparently Emma's soft-dominatrix suit. Compare to the sex scenes in some of today's TV series...

5. Bezaubernde Jeannie (im Original: I Dream of Jeannie)

John is right: Jeannie was a sight for sore eyes. But I disagree with him w. r. t. the test of time. In Germany the reruns were still a big success in the noughties, and only a few years ago ORF1 Austria repeated the series twice in a row. Jeannie is a kind of antipole to Emma.

6. Schweinchen Dick (englisch: Porky Pig)

I loved that series, but there were massive protests by parents against its glorification of violence. The concerned parents only realized after 50 episodes that this program was poisoning the souls of their little ones, and finally German TV stopped broadcasting it. I hope that in my case the damage was by then not done already. Recently some episodes were shown again, and nobody had a problem with that.

That's All Folks - und immer schön fröhlich bleiben!

Andy Bate: Fawlty Towers - comedy gold. Feels like there are way more episodes than there actually are because it still feels so fresh. Watch them frequently on the TV still.

Cheers - I love this program. I've started watching them again as they are being re-run on the TV and I'm enjoying them once more. The one episode that I remember the most, though I've only ever seen it once, is the one with Sam Malone doing his sports broadcast about his Groin Injury.

Frasier - And the follow-on series was just as good. Wasn't sure about it when they announced it, but it was a really good way of keeping that character going.

Douglas Kent: This month I think I’ll focus on series with a single male lead, either the perfect character for the perfect actor or the actor who made the character their own…depends on your point of view. And in this case, all three fall into the broad category of Crime Drama.

The Rockford Files – James Garner is Jim Rockford. Jim Rockford is James Garner. Without Garner and his particular flair, personality, and charm the show would not have succeeded despite wonderful supporting characters, terrific dialogue, and original plots. The beaten-down, financially struggling and irritable white knight; the man of a thousand business cards…in many ways the show combined action and excitement with intellectual deviousness and still managed to portray the unglamorous life of the private detective.

Columbo – If you spend any time reading about the greatest television detective show in history, you realize quickly how much of the character Peter Falk brought on his own. It’s much easier to do an effective whodunit on television than a howshegonnagettim. Broken down to the elements, Columbo is simply a fencing match between the polished criminal and the dirty, rumpled Lieutenant. Ninety minute and two hour episodes of talking can be tedious, but in Columbo they are delicious gourmet meals meant to be savored course after course. Certainly there are a few weak episodes, but those are still better than 95% of anything on television. And when you get into repeat viewing, the episodes are even more entertaining if you read a book such as Columbophile, which allows you to understand some of the private jokes within the show and that many of the most effective bits were actually extended jabs at the network. Peter Falk brought us the most unusual and non-stereotypical television sleuth ever.

Cracker – While Jimmy McGovern’s writing brought the series to life, Robbie Coltrane brought Fitz to life. It is difficult to imagine any other actor effectively playing the psychologist who teeters on the edge of sanity even more than some of the criminals he helps the police pursue. It is too easy for such a character, in the wrong hands, to become a cliché. But Coltrane *is* Fitz, and Fitz is less an anti-hero and more a complex, self-destructive guilt-ridden and fault-filled man…in other words, there is some of each of us inside him. As Fitz describes his inner being: “I drink too much, I smoke too much, I gamble too much. I *am* too much.” An amazingly classy series which is much more of an ensemble cast than my category should allow, filled with depth and definition. Ignore, PLEASE, the short-lived American remake and stick with the original.

Paraic Reddington: Firstly – huge thanks to all your readers who posted comments along with their submission. They were very informative and jogged a lot of happy memories for me.

My three for this month are:

Dallas

While obviously this is now seen as camp wanky nonsense my family would crowd around the television every Saturday night to watch Dallas. In the glory days of the soaps, other shows like The Colbys, Dynasty and Falcon Crest were mere pretenders with Dallas as the clear champion. But I’ll remember the show most for 2 things. 1) Hagman’s JR 2) Saturday nights around the fire.

Horizon

This BBC science based documentary show taught me more than many years of school. My father and I used to watch this religiously and always after the women of the house had gone to bed. As a result we were forever bonded in science. I have recently downloaded every single episode (all 80 gigabytes of them) and am slowly plodding my way happily through them.

Blake’s 7

Jim-Bob reminded me of this series and again, this is one where I have fond memories of watching this with my father in my early youth (single digits). I do remember being a little scared of the show – but I always wanted a computer that was see-through!

Heather Taylor: Angel, Charmed, and My So-Called Life.

Hugh Polley: John Biehl and I must be close in age and limited to the same three channels as our picks are almost the same! I Dream of Jeannie is my number 7! Remember wondering how that outfit got by the censors?

4. Star Trek original - Every Sunday at 1400 my father and I would retreat to the basement to watch, only episode I missed between 65-7 was the KHAN one!

5. Paladin - I have the DVD somewhere, some of the shows were written by Gene Roddenberry, think I had cards with logo at one time! Probably worth a fortune now!

6. Bounty Hunter - Do not remember much about it now; but I use to run to TV after my home work to watch.

Hank Alme: This month my theme is "British Cop Shows":

Rebus: TV adaptation of Ian Rankin's awesome detective novels chronicling the life and investigations of DI John Rebus in the Edinburgh (Dip reference!) CID. Rebus is a bit of a cliche perhaps: a misanthrope who drinks and smokes a bit more than he ought and is often at odds with the brass, but he is ultimately likable. There are two series that have come together, the one with Ken Stott as Rebus is my preference, even though I really like John Hannah in other stuff.

Midsomer Murders: Every British TV actor has ended up doing a bit part on this show, which is set in a fictional English rural/suburban county. The people in this county are obviously nuts, as the murder rate is worse than a crappy place in London, if the murder case load of DCI Tom Barnaby is to be believed.

Morse: As with Midsomer murders, this series proposes a murder rate for Oxford that is unreal. Even then, watching DI Morse (first name Endeavour) work his way through brown ale, opera and cryptic crosswords while solving crimes is entertaining. I found some of the best bits to be the interactions with his partner Detective Sergeant Lewis, a more down to earth guy (with an awesome Geordie accent).

Rick Desper: 1) Columbo: Not sure that this qualifies as a "series" as it may be viewed as simply a long series of made-for-TV movies. But really, whatever. Who wants to pick those nits.

There have been many TV detectives and Columbo is the best of them. The show celebrates simplicity and the wisdom and intelligence of the common man. Week after week, some genius would think he could pull off the perfect crime, only to be foiled by Lt. Columbo, always coming onto the scene looking like a bumbling idiot, always pestering the only suspect for over an hour, and at the end finding one simple fact that causes the guilty party's elaborate cover story to fall apart completely.

Ah. Excuse me! One more question!

2) Late Night with David Letterman: Note that I say "Late Night" and not "Late Show". Letterman's best, most inventive work was done on NBC at the 12:30 time slot. He thrived working after Johnny Carson, giving us quirky stuff like the monkey cam, the alka seltzer suit, stupid pet tricks, etc. After moving earlier to the 11:30 time slot on CBS, Dave toned down his excesses to try to appeal to a wider public. It worked for a while, but ultimately for some reason more people preferred Leno. Oh well. I think losing the ratings contest to Leno of all people sucked some of his creativity away.

3) The Simpsons: Well, this show isn't quite as good as it used to be, but The Simpsons was daring and innovative for well over a decade. Is it fair to say that The Simpsons was the first animated show to feature a completely dysfunctional family? Probably. The Simpsons started as a series of shorts on The Tracey Ullman show, but spun off to be a half-hour show on its own. It's up to its 25th season now. That's absurd durability.

Heath Gardner: The tv series list (sending you 6 because I didn't get in before)

1. The Wire. It's going to take a LOT for that to ever be dislodged as my favorite show. Everything that's great about it has already been explicated at length and we all know about it, but it's a cop show that turns out to be actually a show about how we live together, manages to capture police, street, academic lingo pitch perfectly, breaks your heart in a million ways AND makes you laugh just about every episode. It's the only experience I've ever had that felt like *watching* a novel - and for that reason, its length and complexity make it better than just about any movie I can think of, too.

2. Kids in the Hall. I was 9 or 10 years old, would come home from unbelievably shitty days at a private school I was attending on scholarship (protip: don't have your kids do that, because there's usually only one scholarship, the other slots are reserved for the children of the worst assholes you can imagine.) This is where I learned that my absurd sense of humor, which my bio father and godfather had both fostered in me, could actually act as a drug of sorts, make my little adolescent depressions stop. Which leads me right to...

3. Mr. Show. This is the best sketch comedy show ever made, and in my opinion the best comedy overall, taking the best parts of Monty Python's Flying Circus, SCTV, improv groups like the Groundlings and a host of other influences to create something that was totally new for its time: a show that was a true hybrid live-sketch/filmed-pieces show. This meant the skits would often blend together brilliantly and take on a lot of extra context that they wouldn't have had otherwise.

4. Laurel and Hardy: The Hal Roach Short Comedies. I know, I know, these were shown in movie theatres, but they're TV episode length, and you can buy them just like any other tv show. It gets no sillier and no more weirdly moving than this deep relationship between two men who are far too childlike to even be interpreted homoerotically.

5. Breaking Bad. It's hard to assess a show when I'm right in the grips of enjoying its finale. I think when I look back on it later I will see the premise as a bit tiresome (They could have finished it last season) but it's still just fun as hell to watch these as they come out and the great part is all my friends watch it so it's a huge kibbutz-a-thon on Mondays on the internet. Like clockwork. Dunno what we're going to talk about when the show ends.

6. Mr Rogers' Neighborhood. It seems aside from BB I am listing shows that had a major impact on my life, perhaps that will change as this list continues. Fred Rogers was a hell of a guy, a true Christian in that he cared deeply about people but also was not dogmatic or judgmental (part of my judgmental criteria for being a "true xtian".) I have the warmest memories of watching this with my best friend, a girl named Mary whose parents babysat me, when I was about 3 years old. Fred Rogers taught us, during a time in which parts of our preschool class were devoted to "dealing with strangers", that not all adults were to be feared or had ulterior motives about being friendly to us. He was simply demonstrating a nice way to live. And being nice to other people is usually a nice way to live (unless you're playing Diplomacy).

Per Westling: Selecting favorite TV-series is a hard task. It is bound to be heavy on modern series, both as I believe the quality is top the recent decade or so ("TV-series is the new black", someone wrote), and also that one tend to forget those long lost series.

I have written down 15 or so that I might regard as very good, or at least did at one time, but I not sure I would like to watch many of them again.

My list is of course in no particular order.

1. Making the list I realized that I had hard selecting any "local" series. Maybe "Jante" (well, he's Norwegian so that is Close enough) or maybe not good enough quality. But eventually I did select one: "Scener ur ett äktenskap" (Scenes from a Marriage) from 1973. This was Bergman's debut in the TV series media, and at that time not a very popular one. But it turned out to be a good move and did make good ratings all over the world. This miniseries (6 episodes) has been recut into a movie as well. This series is (as you might have guessed) scenes from a marriage, which shows a lot of everyday situations. Some believe that this series caused divorce rates to go up in Denmark. I do like Bergman, and for realistic series, this is a good one.

2. Leaving Sweden we go to Denmark and their excellent "Matador" aired between 1978 and 1982. It is set in the fictional Danish town of Korsbæk between 1929 and 1947 and you will follow a set of characters during a very disturbing time, including the Nazi Germany occupation of Denmark during WW II.

The rest of my choices are either British or US.

3. English humour at its best.... Monty Python have always been favorites of mine, and it has been natural to follow what the groups members did after splitting up. I must say that there are a lot of good things that have come out of it. Among the best I would place "Fawlty Towers" from 1975; hilarious at times, awkward as The Office at times, good characters and some good one liners that can make you laugh even though you haven't seen the series in many years. This series is placed solidly in the consciousness context of many people.

4. The Brits are very good at making historical drama, of course often Victorian but sometimes even further back and abroad. One of these, that feel like an onstage production moved into the TV studio is "I, Claudius" from 1976, where Derek Jacobi plays the role of Claudius. In this we get a good glimpse of the lives (and Deaths) of the Roman emperors. This drama makes you interested in Roman history. In this case the 12 episode was based on the 1934 novel by Robert Graves.

5. An example of the Victorian style would be the "Forsyte Saga", from 1967, in black & White. In style similar to Matador, in that you follow a family over the years up to the 1920s. Did see this one on one of the reruns some 10-15 years after its first showing but I was fascinated by it. The Brits do make good actors, Always.

6. Let us move ahead a couple of years and we get to "Brideshead Revisited", based on the book by Evelyn Waugh. It takes Place in the period after Forsyte Saga, during 1920s up to the latter part of WW II. This is a pretty nostalgic series, that shows the "beat" of the British Nobles.

Jim Burgess: With an Science Twinge of some sort:

Big Bang Theory

Red Dwarf

Third Rock from the Sun

Last month, we gave you these hypothetical questions or situations: #1 – You are given a choice whether to learn for certainty the mysteries of the creation of man and whether there is a God or other Supreme Being. Do you choose to accept this knowledge? #2 – You are at a yard sale and see what appears to be a rare piece of designer glassware, worth over $10,000. There is no price tag on it, and the person who organized the sale is not around. The friend she left to watch everything tells you the price is $5. Do you buy the item for $5?

Heather Taylor – #1 – Yes, absolutely!

#2 - I would wait around for the person who organized the sale to come back, but for only for a while (15-30 mins). I would then buy it for 5 bucks and write down their address and send them some $ (10%?) when I sold it later so I wouldn't feel so guilty!

Tom Howell - #1 - Do I get to share? Will anyone else believe me? Sure, why not.

#2 - In this case, yes. Though usually, I'll offer less than asking.

Chris Babcock - #1 - . No. I'm just superstitious that way. I know that the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything is 42. I'm afraid that if the question was known then the whole thing might

actually go away and be replaced by something even more confusing. (Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

#2 - Buy it for $5 even though it's worth $10,000? At a yard sale? Hell, no. I would try to talk her down to $2.50.

Melinda Holley - #1 - Yes, why not? There doesn't seem to be any demand that I share this knowledge with anyone else or go on some sort of religious or secular crusade about it.

#2 - Yes. Then I return the next day and talk with the seller. I explain my thoughts & offer to split the $10K evenly if it turns out I'm correct. Yes, it's always thrilling to think you can purchase something like this at a yard sale for next to nothing. But in the next thought I think how bad the seller must feel.

Andy Lischett - #1 - Who will impart this wisdom? Barack Obama? Anyway, I guess I would rather not know. I try to live a Christian life, more or less, and would probably live the same way knowing or not knowing that God exists.

The only time it might seem important to know is on one's deathbed. If I were to KNOW that God exists I would worry that I may go to hell, but if I KNEW that there is no God I would be freaked out that this is it! If I don't know, at least there's hope.

#2 - No. In the movie Charade a child unknowingly trades a stamp dealer five rare stamps worth $250,000 for a package of 100 stamps. Audrey Hepburn tracks down the dealer who says something like "I've been expecting you. Here are your stamps. I'm a collector, not a thief."

[[Actually it was three rare stamps….one of my favorite movies.]]

However, if I were a collector of that glassware worth $10,000 and really wanted it, instead of handing over $5 I might lie a little and say "This thing is probably worth between $4000 and $7000, if you can find a buyer. I'll give you $5000 if you throw in that ceramic black panther."

John David Galt - #1 - I'll listen - just for giggles - but I doubt I'll believe a word the person says, no matter who it is or what credentials he shows. Heck, even if Jesus shows up in person and demonstrates water walking and healing, I'll assume (as a simpler explanation) he's really one of Von Daniken's spacemen having a joke on humanity.

Meanwhile I laugh at anybody who listens and uncritically accepts the answers.

#2 - Sure, why should I not?

Dick Martin - #1 - yes - there will still be plenty of otherwise unsolved mysteries to entertain me. like women, for instance.

#2 - sure. maybe it is, maybe it's just a hunk of glass. knowing my luck, it's just some old pepsi bottles that melted in a fire.

Robert Rodday Jr. - #1 - Yes, it would be nice to know. There would be less uncertainty. But no point in sharing, since most people wouldn't believe the truth anyway. It would be great to know something others do not know for certain. I could go on but there's the essence.

#2 – Fortunately I don't need it that badly. If I was absolutely desperate then yes, and most people would think about it some. But I am not that desperate right now. So what I would do is buy it and then wait for the organizer and tell them, she might give me a cut,small reward. After all she is selling possessions for the money, so obviously she needs it.

Robin ap Cynan - #1 - Yes. But to quote Sondheim-

And I know things now,

Many valuable things,

That I hadn't known before:

Do not put your faith

In a cape and a hood,

They will not protect you

The way that they should.

And take extra care with strangers,

even flowers have their dangers.

And though scary is exciting,

Nice is different than good.

Now I know:

Don't be scared.

Granny is right,

Just be prepared.

Isn't it nice to know a lot!....

And a little bit not...

#2 - Yes- it could just be a fake. And isn't this joy of the chance and the chase just what antique hunting is all about?

Steve Cooley - #1 - I think I do know. However, to play nice: I would want to know, but I would want to share that knowledge and certainty.

#2 - Yes, I buy it. I’d say there’s a 99% chance I’m wrong. The only things I’d be confident buying are Lincoln pennies and games. Glassware? Please! I’d have a better chance of making money on art.

Rick Desper - #1 - What's the catch? Sorry, I'm well past the point where I think that the "mysteries of the universe" can be neatly encapsulated into some kind of finite, comprehensible form.

#2 - Yes, I buy it. If I know the person selling it, I pass on more money when I resell it for its true worth. If I don't? I probably don't do so.

Heath Gardner - #1 - I know from taking hallucinogens in college that we don't only have the wrong answers to all things science can't answer right now, we're also asking the wrong questions. I'll just let that hang in the air like a fart for all the anti-drug types out there. But my answer is no, I actually like not having the first freakin' clue about why we're here. It's so weird and absurd and unlikely and great. It's the reason I find so much pleasure in creative writing, for instance, the questions of life will ALWAYS be there. I would actually plug my ears if someone tried to tell me "The Truth". Actually, a few people have tried in the past, and they always wanted money. :-)

#2 - For once I'll take the d-bag answer. I once sold a copy of Huck Finn (in a last ditch attempt to move to Atlanta to be with my now-wife) without realizing it was a FIRST EDITION FIRST PRINTING. I mean, I got several thousand for it, but could have gotten more. In the end, was I mad at the rare book dealer? Not at all, because I didn't do my homework. I let him know it was for sale, he assessed it and made an offer. Pretty much parallels this situation, I think.

John Biehl - #1 - Yes, I would take the choice of knowing for certain the 'mysteries of the creation of man' and/or whether there is a God or other Supreme Being. At least, then, I would know the answer to these two questions. However, the two so-called uncertainties is actually only one uncertainty. Firstly, there is no longer any 'mystery' on the creation of man. Man or Homo Sapiens (jury is still out on the 'sapiens' moniker) has conclusively been proven to be the natural end result of Darwin's theory of evolution. Subsequent academic disciplines have further elaborated the one scientific theory that most agrees with all of the evidence (fossil records & animal behavior studies & genetic comparisons, etc). Case closed Creationist morons. Secondly, you erroneously refer to 'a God' as if there was only one when more cultural traditions express the conception of Gods rather than just one (a recent historical trend). The whole problem here is that whether one refers to God or Gods (not to mention the female variant Goddess/Goddesses) the evidence is clearly against there being any Gods at all. The idea of 'God' has, unfortunately, been inculcated in practically all of us from a very early age in the form of 'brainwashing' when we had little or no 'mature' critical thinking ability. How many toddlers do you know who can read say, Charles Dickens (or any other acclaimed work of literature and/or thought)? This inculcation of institutional religious dogma forced upon uncritical young minds could and should be considered a 'crime against humanity' for all the evil, ignorance and hate this uncritical religious belief has engendered. To ask whether there is some sort of 'Supreme Being' (implying some sort of non-human 'Otherness' as opposed to an anthropomorphic god) is a question that cannot be answered, at present. Astronomer/Physicists tell us there is this visual and non-visual Universe we exist in but have little idea yet where or what exactly (dark matter, for example) all the components are. The Universe is unimaginably vast and may even, so we are told, have upwards of 11 dimensions. Huh? We experience our 3 dimensional space and something called 'time' (the 4th dimension?) So where and what are the 5th thru 11th dimensions? This simply boggles most minds (including mine). Science theorizes that there was a so-called 'Big Bang' some 13 Billion years ago. Science doesn't seem to explain why there was a Big Bang or what was there before the Big Bang - only that it somehow 'happened' (perhaps someone has more knowledge of this theory and its permutations). However, the fact remains that Astronomy/Physics, although it attempts to 'unify' or is attempting to 'unify' into a theory that can explain all the evidence it has - it has not yet accomplished this (unlike the theory of Evolution which has unified all of its evidence). So the idea of a 'Supreme Being' or Causative Effect? (or some 'Otherness') cannot be known with our present limited knowledge. It is still an open question - did All of Creation (the Universe and everything in it) come into existence by Chance or did 'Some Thing' design it? This 'design' idea presupposes something existing before the 'Act of Creation'. I wonder if anyone will ever know this - this question may not be solvable, in my humble opinion, likely is not solvable. Perhaps the Universe has always existed and will always exist - we curious, crazed monkeys who probably came along (evolved by chance) just simply have some ability to investigate it. That's all folks!

#2 - This hypothetical is easy. It is a yard sale. The seller left someone there to take the money. You think there is designer glassware worth plenty but you aren't an expert so simply buy it for the $5 and if you are right then congratulations! The old adage of 'someone’s junk is another person’s treasure' applies here and occasionally a story like this hits the newspapers.

For Next Month (For the time being, I am usually selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises). Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: #1 – You are a reporter. The family of a murder victim has refused your requests for an interview. Your editor demands that you keep calling them. Do you? #2 – A window salesman spends three hours in your home helping you to determine your needs. Afterward, you price the product elsewhere for considerably less. Do you buy from the cheaper company?

Didn’t go to the movies at all this month, and almost everything we watched or tried to watch on DVD we turned off rather quickly…

Seen on DVD – Chronicle (B-, would have been boring in the theater but at home it was dopey fun. Acting wasn’t terrible, but I wasn’t so happy with the last third).

Geoff Kemp: First of all my commiserations to you both, she may only have been with you for a short while, but I am sure she lived it to the fullest.

Hank Alme: I just printed off the latest ES and your opening article moved me. I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my lab mix Kerby (short for Kerberos) in March 2012; he had a stroke and couldn't walk so I had to have him put down. It's been over a year, and the pain has slowly faded while the wonderfulness of having him around as long as I did remains. I hope the same will happen for you guys. I don't think the pain goes entirely away, but the happy stuff seems more durable.

It sounds like Kayza was a wonderful dog, and I am sorry to hear she's gone. You guys did a great thing making her part of your family for the time she had.

Andy Lischett: I'm sorry about Kayza, but you and Heather did the correct thing. I could argue that our dog Sonny was the sweetest dog ever, but that's the great thing about dogs... a large percentage of them are the sweetest dogs ever.

Regarding The Twisting Tale, it's nice to see Cheetos make it into what may be the penultimate chapter.

Per Westling: When I sent in orders for BPD I had not yet read ES #79. With my choice of dread, I was a bit stunned to read about Kayza. I did have to put my (to be) 4 year old dog, King, about 6 months ago and it still hurts. Those things do pop up when one read about similar happenings and will probably continue to do so. Have had cats and dogs, but I believe the dogs becomes closer than the cats. It's like having a baby (I presume, as I have none of my own), or at least a family member. So putting ones dearest to sleep is hard. It might be easier if they are in pain, but it is still hard. Sometimes one wonder if one did the right thing.

This was my 2nd dog I have put to sleep, and it was not easier the second time. But one thing was different the second time. During the first occasion it was like you described, him falling to sleep. In the second occasion it was a drastic stop, probably a heart attack, with his tongue sticking out. Horrible. So I do dread the next time I will have to do that, although I hope that will take many years until we have to take the decision for Daisy who will be 1 year old in September.

[[Thanks to all of you who sent condolences and well-wishes, including those not printed here. It is amazing how quickly Kayza became part of the family, and how seamlessly she fit in. We’re missing her just as much, but getting used to the idea of her not being here. Heather and I watched a few short videos of her the other night, and the difference between her physical comfort three years ago to this year is quite noticeable when viewed that way. We know we did the right thing for her. And now we’re doing as she would have wanted: getting ready to open our home and hearts to a new senior dog, to spoil for the rest of her life.]]

Richard Weiss: Am playing WITWIKN in Tom Howell, with you, and notice how many guesses ring as those someone made in your most recent two versions. I failed to care last month in yours, and notice that many people seem to know who and almost where. I'm passing on being a latecomer to the party. Relatively unfair to win the poker pot against those that have been drinking heavily together all night. No guess from me.

Dane Maslen: It seems that Space Patrol was a much used title for sci-fi series in the 1950s and 1960s. Martin Burgdorf's mention of the German SPACE PATROL - The fantastic adventures of the starship ORION (1966) reminded me that when I was very young I enjoyed a British TV series called SPACE PATROL (1962). When I looked in Wikipedia for details about it, I discovered that it had been sold to and shown in the US, but there it had to be renamed PLANET PATROL to avoid confusion with the US SPACE PATROL (1950).

Paraic Reddington: I do enjoy ES and hope you do not lose the faith and keep producing it. I read the welcome/catch-up first as that’s always interesting. I love Jack’s musing because they always make me feel better about my own life. Whenever I’m pissed off with life I think “Things could always be worse. You could be Jack McHugh.” That usually helps.

I’m a football fan so I’ll read and engage in anything NFL related. Not so the baseball.

I don’t read or engage in the hypotheticals as I find the topics disinteresting generally.

The 21 TV shows is a nice new addition and I thoroughly enjoyed its first outing. Maybe you should include images from the shows? Or request submissions to include images as a reminder? I have done just that in this submission.

[[People are welcome to send images in, but I am far too lazy to go find them for every entry myself!]]

The Twisting Tale was interesting, if only to show how diverse and twisted your readerships’ minds are.

The games are always fun. The movie quotes/pics are usually very hard but in this age of interwebbery I think is inevitably necessary.

[[Yes, but fortunately I think our players enjoy the mental hunt of trying to figure out the connection, and then fill in missing movies as best they can. Cheating is such a waste of time. A few people tell me “I had to look up #3 after I wrote these and now I know #6 and #7 but no points for those please” so their honesty keeps the game fun.]]

Andy York: Well, the minor league baseball season is over so things should be clearing up as far as my time. Of course, "mathematically" they may still make the play-offs (all the rest of the games are road games); but to do so they must win every game while the leading team has to lose all of them (and other team needs to lose a couple). I'm not counting on that happening.

I do plan to get in one more weekend of Rangers and one of Astros games in September - and who knows about the major league playoffs. I'm certainly hoping to go up there for some post-season Rangers wins!

Wednesday, I head to San Antonio for the World Science Fiction convention (2nd time I've been, 2nd time in San Antonio). I went through the programming guide yesterday, there are A LOT of things going on - I don't think I'll be bored at all.

Now, to get to ES. Sorry to hear about Kayza - I know how you're an animal lover.....

[[Thanks. If the Rangers make it, I’ll do like last year and try to snag us some tickets! Maybe we’ll actually get to GO to the games this time!]]

The Eternal Sunshine Football Prediction Contest

The contest is simple: you get one point for each correct division winner, and one point for correctly selecting the wild card teams (two per conference). Then you get two points for each team you correctly choose as conference championship (meaning they play in the Super Bowl), and three points for correctly picking the Super Bowl winner. And remember, like all Eternal Sunshine contests, there will actually be a REAL PRIZE for the winner! We got some last minute entries, otherwise I was going to cancel this…next year we’d better get more participants!

Those of you who signed up for the One and Done Pool will hear from me in the next few days…

The Twisting Tale

This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words. If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up. We need more particpants! Email me at dougray30@yahoo.com if you’d like to participate!

Chapter 23 – by Paraic Reddington

This is the end. My only friend, the end.

The music rang loudly in the air. He was on his back, staring at the dusky sky. The sun was setting inexorably in the West. The golden clouds looked frozen in time, as if they had never nor would ever change. Nothing would ever change again.

"I can hear the wind" he thought "howling past my head." "How can that be, while the clouds are static and motionless?"

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end

From either side of him giant structures grew up out of the ground. They passed him like rockets leaving the launch pad. Slow yet unstoppable.

They were buildings. Apartment blocks, office buildings, towers of concrete racing to the sky.

As the windows passed he caught glimpses of other lives. A woman washing dishes. A television showing an infomercial. A child with a toy plane. Normal lives. Each window was gone before he could get a second look. And still the buildings grew.

Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land

Every third window that passed already had its light on. "It will be dark soon. Time to rest." The thought was comforting to him, like a great weight was lifted from his shoulders. "No more killing."

And all the children are insane
All the children are insane

He had killed his fair share of people. Since that first morning hangover he had dealt death and ruined many of those normal lives. But never again. Enough was enough.

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall

The sounds of the street were faintly audible now. Car horns. Jackhammers. The noises of life. And still the buildings grew. Higher and higher and the wind howled louder and louder.

He thought of his only family, his poor bewildered brother. "I did it all for you James" he thought. "so that you could live a normal life." From the first it was always for James. When he embarked on this killing spree all those weeks ago, he had told his brother of his intentions in an email titled simply "I love you".

He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he paid a visit to his brother

He had succeeded in his mission. So many other failures in his life but not in this. Sweet success. He'd found the donor liver and secured his brother's future. So many had to die so that one could live.

C'mon, yeah
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill
This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

And still the buildings grew. So many and so tall. An entire city springing into the air, like new life from the desert after the rains. The sky shrunk as it receded. And he continued to fall.

The sun was setting. His story was ending. No more rat-tat-tat of gunfire or keyboards. Nothing to report. His life of dealing death was over.

Behind his head he could sense the ground approaching. He could smell the street. He could hear the whistle of a traffic cop, the frantic cacophony of a hundred pigeons scattering.

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me

His final journey was nearly over. Any moment now. From the moment he had jumped he had finally felt free. "Maybe James can finally write that novel."

The sun set. The darkness closed in. Then silence.

The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die
This is the end

The End

Eternal Sunshine Index – ESI

A Scientific Measure of Zine Health

Current Index: 62.09 -2.29%

The Eternal Sunshine Index is a stock-market-like index of the zine. You don’t do anything in this game, except write press or commentary on price movements (or why you think your stock should have gone up or down). I move the prices beginning with next issue based on my own private formula of quantity and quality zine participation (NMR’s, press, columns, etc.). Any new zine participants become new issues valued at at 50, but the stock for anyone who disappears will remain listed. The average of all listed stocks will result in the ESI closing value each month, which will be charted issue to issue after we have a few months’ worth of data. If you don’t like the stock symbol I have assigned you, you may petition the exchange to change it. Blame Phil Murphy for suggesting this section to me.

Market Commentary: Some NMRs and some new issues moved the index slightly lower this month. A small August retreat is normal and was expected, but is this the beginning of a new trend, or just a slight dip?

Stock	Price	% +/-
AJK - Allison Kent	74	1.4%
ALM - Hank Alme	35	2.9%
AMB - Amber Smith	0.01	0.0%
AND - Lance Anderson	0.01	0.0%
BAB - Chris Babcock	7	16.7%
BAT - Andy Bate	52	4.0%
BIE - John Biehl	118	1.7%
BLA - Larry Peery	50	0.0%
BRG - Martin Burgdorf	106	1.9%
BWD - Brad Wilson	128	1.6%
CAK - Andy Lischett	108	1.9%
CAL - Cal White	0.01	0.0%
CHC - Chuy Cronin	0.01	0.0%
CIA - Tom Swider	0.01	0.0%
CKW - Kevin Wilson	105	2.9%
CKY - Carol Kay	32	6.7%
DAN - Dane Maslen	103	3.0%
DBG - David Burgess	0.01	0.0%
DGR - David Grabar	0.01	0.0%
DTC - Brendan Whyte	96	1.1%
DUK - Don Williams	90	0.0%
FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer	70	-6.7%
FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois	0.01	0.0%
FRT - Mark Firth	103	3.0%
GAR - Heath Gardner	70	2.9%
GRA - Graham Wilson	0.01	0.0%
HAP - Hugh Polley	43	4.9%
HDT - Heather Taylor	106	1.9%
HLJ - Harley Jordan	88	2.3%
JOD - Jeff O'Donnell	82	0.0%
KMP - Geoff Kemp	104	2.0%
KVT - Kevin Tighe	15	-25.0%
LAT - David Latimer	86	1.2%
LCR - Larry Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MRK - Mark Nelson	0.01	0.0%
MCC - David McCrumb	15	-25.0%
MCR - Michael Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MIM - Michael Moulton	8	-33.3%
MRC - Marc Ellinger	104	2.0%
OTS - Tom Howell	101	1.0%
PER - Per Westling	105	1.9%
PJM - Phil Murphy	37	5.7%
QUI - Michael Quirk	16	6.7%
RAC - Robin ap Cynan	74	1.4%
RDP - Rick Desper	111	2.8%
REB - Melinda Holley	107	1.9%
RED - Paraic Reddington	116	3.6%
RWE - Richard Weiss	135	5.5%
SAK - Jack McHugh	204	1.5%
TAP - Jim Burgess	137	3.0%
VOG - Pat Vogelsang	0.01	0.0%
WAY - W. Andrew York	104	2.0%
WLK - Richard Walkerdine	141	0.0%
WWW - William Wood	0.01	0.0%
YLP - Paul Milewski	138	3.8%

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?

Rules in ES #58. Send in your guesses. I’ve played this in Brandon Whyte’s Damn the Consequences a few times and it’s fun, takes only a minute or two each turn, and helps you work your brain! As soon as this one ends, a new one will begin.

ROUND 1

Brendan Whyte:

Phil Spector in Edmonton

Phil Murphy:

Stephen King in Lincoln, NE

Kevin Wilson:

Socrates in Lima, Peru

Tom Howell:

John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough in Melbourne, Australia

Paraic Reddington:

Winston Churchill in Lagos, Nigeria

Dane Maslen:

Archimedes in Nairobi, Kenya

Jim Burgess:

Sir John Franklin in Thule (Qaanaaq) Greenland

Richard Weiss:

Oliver Cromwell in Novosibirsk, Russia

Jack McHugh:

Adolf Hitler in Johannesburg, South Africa

Andy Lischett:

Little Richard in Little Rock, Arkansas

Marc Ellinger:

Julius Caesar in New York City

Martin Burgdorf:

Charles Aznavour in Paris, France

John Biehl:

Leonard Nimoy in Juist, Germany

Mark Firth:

Lassie in Laramie, Wyoming

Hint to Closest Guess Geographically: I was born within a year or two of your death.

ROUND 2

Richard Weiss:

Ovid, in Mogadishu, Somalia

Brendan Whyte:

Aristotle on Diego Garcia

Kevin Wilson:

Rob Lowe in Abidjan, République de Côte d'Ivoire

Andy Lischett:

Little Richard in Johannesburg, S.A.

Jack McHugh:

Peter the Great in Bangkok, Thailand

Tom Howell:

Adam Smith in Dunedin, NZ

Phil Murphy:

J. Edgar Hoover in Paris, France

Martin Burgdorf:

Freddie Mercury in Prague

Heath Gardner:

Michael Richards in Mogadishu, Somalia

Rick Desper:

Nicole Kidman in Harare, Zimbabwe

Dane Maslen:

Archimedes in Manila, Philippines

John Biehl:

Edgar Allan Poe in Baltimore

Paraic Reddington:

George Bush Sr. in Madagascar

Marc Ellinger:

Joseph Pulitzer in Montevideo

Mark Firth:

Charlton Heston in Lome (Togo)

Jim Burgess:

Meryl Streep in Honolulu, Hawaii

Hint to Closest Guess Geographically: Again, I was born within a few years of your death too.

ROUND 3

Kevin Wilson:

John Walter Scott in Fairbanks Alaska

Dane Maslen:

Immanuel Kant in Jakarta

Rick Desper:

Immanuel Kant in Singapore

Brendan Whyte:

Plato in Kinshasa, DR Congo

Tom Howell:

Adam Smith in Jakarta

Jack McHugh:

Samuel Adams in Singapore

Andy Lischett:

Adam Smith in Jakarta

Paraic Reddington:

Wyatt Earp in Labrador City, Canada

Richard Weiss:

Barack Obama, Washington, DC

Martin Burgdorf:

John Quincy Adams in Quebec, Canada

Heath Gardner:

James K. Polk in Sydney, Australia

Marc Ellinger:

Pierro Orsini in Jakarta

Jim Burgess:

James Fenimore Cooper in Sydney, Australia

John Biehl:

Baron Munchhausen in Timor (No city given, Dili chosen)

Mark Firth:

Freddie Spencer, Lanzarote, Canary Islands

Hint to Closest Guess Geographically: I am known for my connection to written material, as some of you are, but not of my own, and not of the volume you produced. I held a title similar in ways to one of you, but a far more common one.

ROUND 4

Tom Howell:

Unknown in Bandung, Indonesia

Jim Burgess:

William Douglas, 4th Duke of Queensbury, in Singaraja, Bali

Dane Maslen:

Robert Andrews (1723-1766) in Jakarta, Indonesia

Marc Ellinger:

Jeremy Collier in Surabaya, Indonesia

Martin Burgdorf:

Joseph Smith in Canberra, Australia

Paraic Reddington:

Edgar Allen Poe in Quebec, Canada

Andy Lischett:

Sam Adams in Jakarta, Indonesia

Rick Desper:

Sir William Blackstone in Perth, Australia

Heath Gardner:

Paul Revere in Jakarta, Indonesia

Mark Firth:

The Scarlet Pimpernel in Port Moresby

Kevin Wilson:

Maximilian Hell (born Rudolf Maximilian Höll) in Surabaya, Indonesia

Hint to Closest Guess Geographically: I was a carbon-based life form. I have no way of knowing if you were, are, or will be.

Deadline for Round 5 is September 24th at 7:00am my time

Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jwmchughjr@gmail.com

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #58

I’m just finishing moving into my new place, so this will be a very short issue. Yes, the house is gone at last. The bank had a cash buyer so there was really no way it could fall through, unless there was some kind of inspection problem. I took a shit in one of the air vents an hour before I left, but that won’t be a problem; for me anyway. If I had a carton of milk and an exposed old-style heater I would have put the milk (or some eggs) behind it, but no such luck.

Oh, by the way…the Phillies suck, and the Eagles are going to worse. Hip hip hooray.

Octopus’s Garden

Issue Eighty-Two

25^th August 2013

Sub-editorial

HELLO, good evening and welcome to Octopus’s Garden, the subzeen with its very own farewell issue. It’s a subzeen to Jim Burgess’ The Abyssinian Prince , which is now a subzeen toDouglas Kent's Eternal Sunshine. Produced by Peter Sullivan, peter@burdonvale.co.uk. It's also available on the web at http://www.burdonvale.co.uk/octopus/.

___________________________________________________________________________________

EIGHTY-TWO ISSUES? THAT'S NOT TOO MANY

In the summer of 1994, I folded my postal games zine, C'est Magnifique, after 142 issues. The games were re-housed (mainly to Will It Lead to Trouble?). However, I kept hold of the three international games tofinish myself, and agreed with Jim Burgess that I would run these as a sub-zine to The Abyssinian Prince. (I was clear that I wanted to run them in a sub-zine rather than by flyer, as it gave the games a visibility - and, if the worst came to the worst, re-housability – that running the games by player-only flyer wouldn't have.)

After the initial set of CMag games had finished, I decided that I was still keen to keep a foot, however, tentative, in the postal games hobby, and started a fresh Railway Rivals game. When that finished, I started two more. By the end of 2000, these were also finished, and I took a break for five years.

Octopus's Garden returned in 2005, as a series of occasional editorials in TAP about a number of subjects. After a few false starts, I started another game of Railway Rivals, albeit to a significantly slower pace than before.

For the moment, I'm going to take another short break from running games, whilst I think about what I want to do in the games hobby going forward, and the best ways of acheiving this. However, I'll still be active in Eternal Sunshine and elsewhere in the meantime. I might even, you know, I mean it's a possibility, wouldn't want to rule anything in or out here, actually kind of play in a game myself. Stranger things have happened.

A total of three re-housed games and four original ones have been run in the sub-zine during its eighty-odd issues:

THE GAMES

"Zapple" (RR Map London & South East):

Ran from CMag 126 (Apr 1993) to OG 4 (Mar 1995)

Won by David Hood, from Steve Thomas, W. Andrew York, Martyn Hathaway, Tom Smith

"Elbridge Gerry" (RR Map India):

Ran from CMag 130 (July 1993) to OG 6 (July 1995)

Won by Conrad von Metzke, from Dave Erridge, Martyn Hathaway, Michael Quist, Eric Brosius.

"Richard M. Johnson" (Downfall XIII - Diplomacy Variant):

Ran from CMag 136 (Jan 1994) to OG 14 (Dec 1996)

Drawn Including All Survivors: Mike Gonslaves (Dwarves), Iain Bowen (Gandalf), Chris Q. Hardy (Gondor), Pete Gaughan (Rohan).

Drop-outs: Donald Scarr (Elves), Michael Quist (Mordor), Lance Anderson (Saruman), Keir Hodgson (Umbar).

"Millard Filmore" (RR Map France):

Ran from OG 19 (Nov 1997) to OG 32 (Dec 1998)

Won by Berry Renken, from John Colledge, W. Andrew York, Neil Hopkins, Conrad von Metzke.

"William Rufus de Vane King" (RR Map Tyne Tees):

Ran from OG 39 (July 1999) to OG 51 (Oct 2000)

Won by Conrad von Metzke, from Rip Gooch, Berry Renken, Richard Weiss.

"John C. Breckinridge" (RR Map Tennessee & Kentucky):

Ran from OG 40 (Aug 1999) to OG 52 (Nov 2000)

Won by Andrew Glynn, from Eric Brosius, Richard Weiss, Neil Hopkins, Mike Barno.

"Hannibal Hamlin" (RR Map France):

Ran from OG 68 (Nov 2010) to OG 80 (May 2013)

Won by Robin ap Cynan, from Brendan Whyte, William Whyte, W. Andrew York, Geoff Challinger.

___________________________________________________________________________________

That was Octopus's Garden #82, Startling Press production 369.

Selections from Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary

by Paul Milewski

Ambrose Bierce was born June 24, 1842 and is assumed to have died sometime after December 26, 1913—in 1913 Bierce traveled to Mexico to gain first-hand experience of the Mexican Revolution and while traveling with rebel troops, he disappeared without a trace. Bierce is known to have accompanied Villa's army as far as the city of Chihuahua. His last known communication with the world was a letter he wrote there to a close friend, dated December 26, 1913. After closing this letter by saying, "As to me, I leave here tomorrow for an unknown destination," he vanished without a trace, becoming one of the most famous disappearances in American literary history.

One of Bierce's most famous works is his much-quoted book, The Devil's Dictionary, originally an occasional newspaper item which was first published in book form in 1906 as The Cynic's Word Book. Bierce's twelve-volume Collected Works were published in 1909, the seventh volume of which consists solely of The Devil's Dictionary, the title Bierce himself preferred to The Cynic's Word Book.

---

ALLIANCE, n. In International politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

CONSUL, n. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure from the people, is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.

DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad yet is not an ambassador.

FIB, n. An habitual liar’s nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.

FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, or friends are true, and our happiness is assured.

GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted.

HASH, n. There is no definition for this word—nobody knows what hash is.

HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was, therefore, a one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.

I is the first letter of the alphabet, the first word of the language, the first thought of the mind, the first object of affection. In grammar it is a pronoun of the first person and singular number. Its plural is said to be We, but how there can be more than one myself is doubtless clearer to the grammarians than it is the author of this incomparable dictionary. Conception of two myselfs is difficult but fine. The frank yet graceful use of “I” distinguishes a good writer from a bad: the later carries it with the manner of a thief trying to cloak his loot.

IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.

OLYMPIAN, adj. Relating to a mountain in Thessaly once inhabited by gods, now a repository of yellowing newspapers, beer bottles, and mutilated sardine cans, attesting to the presence of the tourist and his appetite.

PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were settled by physical contact of the disputants, with such simple arguments as the rudimentary logic of the time would supply—the sword, the spear, and so forth. With the growth of prudence in military affairs, the projectile came more and more into favor and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous. Its capital defect is that it requires personal attendance at the point of propulsion.

TURKEY, n. A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting to piety and gratitude. Incidentally, it is pretty good eating.

YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown. (See DAMNYANKEE).

---

As usual, my contribution to Eternal Sunshine is wholly devoid of proper literary attribution.

THE ABYSSINIAN PRINCE #340

August 26, 2013

Jim Burgess, 664 Smith Street, Providence, RI 02908-4327 USA, (401)351-0287, jfburgess of gmail.com

E-MAIL/WEB ONLY ISSUE! PDF will be available on the website. We also are being reproduced in Eternal Sunshine.

Web Page Address: http://www.diplom.org/DipPouch/Postal/Zines/TAP/index.html

Some of you are still not on the E-Mail list for this szine, I keep trying to sign you up, please accept the offer! I am being a bit more systematic about that right now. I am going ahead and finishing all the games here, and then we will see. There is interest in a NEW regular Diplomacy game and a Breaking Away game. Sign up, let's see if we can get seven for Dip and six for Breaking Away!

This issue continues the szine/subszine inversion. As most of you know, this thing began as a ßubszine" to Terry Tallman's North Sealth, West George, then became its own szine with a host of subszines. The subszines remaining will appear as sub-subszines to our new flipflopped home in Doug Kent's Eternal Sunshine. Doug's incessant nagging is not keeping us on schedule, but will make it so we will charge forward and finish the remaining games that I have in here. After that, we'll see how it goes and what I do next. I'd like to keep writing and doing some game GMing. You all should see first what I actually do.

For production, in addition to the HTML's of each separate product on the web page, I will also have a PDF that you can print of the entire subszine (including my famous handdrawn maps!). You can just print the maps if you like, but remember maps are for pikers anyway, you don't need no steenkin' maps, keep them up in your head where they belong. I don't think there are very many people I owe money, but if you think I owe you money, just ask and I will pay. ONE GROUP that is definitely owed money is the players with NMR insurance. NMR insurance still continues, I will still call you for it, and when your game ends, I will refund the money.

General information about the mailing list is at: http://www.diplom.org/mailman/listinfo/tap You can sign up from there, or send E-Mails to: Tap-request of diplom.org; with the word `help' in the subject or body (don't include the quotes), and you will get back a message with instructions. You must know your password to change your options (including changing the password, itself) or to unsubscribe.

THE ABYSSINIAN PRINCE LETTERS SECTION

((Tempest in a Teapot 2013 is North American DipCon this year in the Washington, DC area October 11-13 at the Sheraton Silver Spring Hotel in Maryland. Some of the luminaries on the docket to be there include Chris Martin, Steve Cooley, Heath Davis-Gardner, Adam Sigal, Jim O'Kelley, Matt Shields, Mike Hall, Rob Premus, and Robert Rousse. There are three rounds, one Friday night, one Saturday morning (NOT Saturday night), and Sunday morning. The ptks.org web site is currently having some problems, but I've reported it. And you can check out the Facebook site at: https://www.facebook.com/events/322812321175481/ For more details, contact Rick Desper, see below.))

((For upcoming cons around the world: http://devel.diplom.org/Face/cons/index.php, but note that some of the Americans have stopped posting the tournaments there. Shame, shame, shame... The Diplomacy World deadline is coming up on October 1, 2013, please think about writing some articles for us, especially if you went to World DipCon in Paris!!! More on that below.))

Warren Goesle (Wed, 31 Jul 2013 08:37:14 -0500)

Just to take you back to 3/28/13...

From: Goesle, Warren

Sent: Thursday, March 28, 2013 2:24 PM

Subject: That time again...

What if they gave a baseball season and Summer decided to not show up?

The good news is that it looks like we could be talking about the Bruins and Blackhawks well into June.

The bad news is that they might be able to play the Stanley Cup Finals in outdoor games at Wrigley and Fenway. Actually, given the Cubs' and Red Sox' predicted fortunes that might be good news.

So where do we start this year?

Goz, warrengoesle of wowway.com

I only bring this up because the second line might be the only prediction I get right all year.

So today's question to the Red Sox fans is: just why do you think Jake Peavy is the answer to any question that Boston has? He's one pitch from having the arm and career being over.

Goz, warrengoesle of wowway.com

((The answer is that it is a MINOR deal for Boston, where they didn't give up anything they wanted to keep. You all know buy low and sell high? Well, Jose Iglesias will NEVER be worth as much as he is right now, while he still has a season long decent batting average. Everyone here knows it wasn't just a "temporary slump" he was in, but what he is batting now is what he is. The early season hits were such an amazing sequence of luck and good bounces as NEVER will be seen in baseball again. The Red Sox pulled a steal, and of course the REAL story of the week is Biogenesis, and the fact that Detroit's shortstop will be out for 50 games. Iglesias will make all the plays in the field and define a new line.... remember the Mendoza line? Well, the Iglesias line might be .100!))

((So, on the other side, Peavy just needs to pitch for a while so Workman can shore up the bullpen for the Sox (where he is better suited) until other pitchers are ready. I would say if Peavy gets them to September, it's an all even deal, the rest is gravy. I expect a decent amount of gravy, but if you're right, it's still a good deal for the Red Sox.))

((ARod should take his medicine and go home....))

David Partridge (Wed, 31 Jul 2013 11:04:00 -0700 (PDT))

Wasn"t ARod taking his medicine the cause of the problem?

Dave, rebhuhn of rocketmail.com

((Baddda BUMP!))

Warren Goesle (Wed, 31 Jul 2013 13:04:55 -0500)

Not according to the MLB drug testing procedures.

Goz, warrengoesle of wowway.com

Rick Desper (Wed, 31 Jul 2013 12:13:53 -0700 (PDT))

I was thinking of posting an email looking back at pre-season predictions.

Jim is correct about the Peavy trade.  The Red Sox are selling high.   I would add that I think that there's a chance that, in the long run, Iglesias becomes as valuable of a SS as Vizquel or Ozzie, both of whom improved their batting as their careers progressed (esp. Vizquel).   I think the low prediction would be that he'll have a Rey Ordones type of career, brilliant glove but no hitting.   I suspect he'll be in the middle.   He probably won't ever have a 3-month stretch of hitting .400 again, but if he hits .250 he's a legitimate major league SS, given his glove.

As for Peavy, who knows what he'll bring?  I definitely (and excusably) did not anticipate John Lackey pitching better this season than he ever had since joining the Red Sox.   That and a few other things have the Sox far ahead of where I had put them in the preseason.   The Rays are about where I thought they would be, as are the Tigers.   I drank the Kool-Aid with the Angels, but I would not have anticipated how well the A's are playing this season.  

Right now the playoffs look like: Rays, Sox, Tigers, As, and somebody else, probably O's or Indians.  

My big mistake in the NL was overrating the Nationals.   After underrating their ability to win games with a weak offense last season, I thought they had found some formula.   So the weak offense is hurting them, one year later.   Don't follow the NL much, but it looks like the Braves, Reds, and Cardinals are about what I expected, while the Pirates are much better than anyone might have thought.

Who else is there?  Giants? Dodgers? Puig is a revelation, obviously, but aside from that I don't have much to say.   Only one team from the West since the Central is so strong this year.   Can't remember who I picked in the West: probably the Giants, and that's definitely a collapse I didn't foresee.   But then again, I mostly ignore the NL (except for any radio chatter about the Nats that I pick up.)

Finally, please come to Tempest for Dipcon in October.  

Rick, rick_desper of yahoo.com

((I'll do an update on the Iglesias/Peavy deal closer to publication date, the very first evidence is that Jose already got one hit (a typical bloop single) for Detroit and Peavy starts tonight for the Red Sox.))

((I'm revisiting my predictions, mostly not doing too badly. I should have put money on them, I'd be in line to win pretty big.))

((AL East: I had it right but didn't predict the Blue Jays quite down far enough. I actually still think I could be completely correct here as the Blue Jays might make a late run to get to third and I won't be surprised if the Rays win and the Red Sox have the wild card.))

((AL Central: I completely nailed this division so far, Cleveland won't quite get to the Wild Card.))

((AL West: Like pretty much everyone else, I thought the A's would be good, but not quite that good, and thought the Angels wouldn't be this bad.))

((NL East: Again, I completely nailed this division, including the regression of the Nationals.))

((NL Central: I had most of this (the Cardinals surprisingly doing well) but didn't quite have the Pirates doing THIS well. That's the surprise of the year so far.))

((NL West: So, early in the year, I had this right, but NOW? My Giants' team collapse has been really disappointing, and I was completely wrong about Lincecum doing a huge comeback. So, other than the Giants, who it was stupid to predict to repeat, I'm in good shape on my playoff predictions..... now Detroit vs. Atlanta, if we leave out the Giants. And I like the Red Sox better actually to beat Detroit.))

((Bryce Harper is still going to be a superstar, but is slowed a bit in his development this year. And PED suspensions are about to be announced. I wish they would get them over with, so we can move on, with ARod joining Manny in Taiwan or something.))

((PUBLICATION TIME UPDATE: Iglesias has batted .286 for Detroit (with a flurry of his trademark bloop hits in the last week to catch up), and Peavy is 2-1 with a 3.31 ERA and a WHIP under 1.00. You tell me... I think it is clear so far and will be more clear by the end of the season. I wasn't quite right on the Iglesias line yet though.))

Warren Goesle (Mon, 5 Aug 2013 19:34:23 -0400 (EDT))

Joke running around Chicago media for tonight's game with the Yankees playing the White Sox...

A-Rod is playing 3rd, batting 4th and pleading the 5th.

Goz, warrengoesle of wowway.com

((ARod can't seem to decide if he is being silent or talking. I can't seem to care.))

DIPLOMACY WORLD CUP TOURNAMENT IS ONGOING - YOU CAN STILL JOIN!

This is the latest incarnation of this team based tournament. I am helping to lead the Nor'Easter team for people in the Northeast part of the United States. https://www.facebook.com/groups/123795024327261/ is the Facebook page for the event.

And you can sign up for the Tournament at: http://aqmn.asciiking.com/. Other US regional teams are the ones in the Pacific, Dixie, and Chicago. Its unique aspect, that is proving to be a bit distorting but in interesting ways, is its "solo only" feature. You advance from the preliminaries to the finals only by soloing, and then need solos in the finals against the other soloists. Though this started in January, it probably will be going on for at least two years, and there is PLENTY of time to jump in. As usual, for those who know me well, I screwed up my first game and allowed a solo to someone from team US. I still don't have a solo in over three decades, but maybe I can do it in my next game. Yes, in C-Diplo, you can easily throw games, and in this format you can do it. I wonder why people like to drop the levels of the game in this way. It fascinates me. But in the finals of this tournament, it shouldn't happen, should it?

So, really, come join, it is being operated on a web-assisted Judge platform that is really pretty easy to use. Ask me if you have any questions. There is about to be a huge uptick in games starting as September approaches in a few days. My game is waiting for more players to start, won't you come join me???

THE ABYSSINIAN PRINCE GAMES SECTION

I am continuing to note cut or failed support orders with a small "s" instead of a capital "S". This will make it easier on the E-Mailed version of the szine to see what happened, since the italics don't show there. The italics DO show on the web page just fine. Since I'm not postal mailing the szine any more, I've dropped back to just reporting the disguised E-Mail addresses. As someone notes, if you need some more contact information, go back to past issues or ask me.

Standby lists:

Mike Barno, Dick Martin, Brad Wilson, Jack McHugh, Glenn Petroski, Steve Emmert, Mark Kinney, Vince Lutterbie, Eric Brosius, Paul Rauterberg, Bob Osuch, Doug Kent, Sean O'Donnell, Heath Gardner, Paul Kenny, and Jeff O'Donnell stand by for regular Diplomacy. Let me know if you want on or off these lists, especially OFF given the new policies.

GAME OPENING INFORMATION

I'm going to start the game opening list over. Under the new regime, who wants to play?

DIPLOMACY: First off, another regular Diplomacy game is open. Spencer Sawyer, Doug Kent and Brad Wilson are in, anyone else?

BREAKING AWAY: Also, a new Breaking Away game is open. Currently Andy York, Rick Desper, David Burgess, and Brendan Whyte are on board. Doug Kent might be willing to play to fill it out. I'm going to dig up six people to do this next time, be one of them! This is the game I really like running and want to start another one. It's easy, very low maintenance.

THE PHIL REYNOLDS MEMORIAL: 2006B, Regular Diplomacy

THE DUE DATE FOR FALL 1908 IS SEPTEMBER 14TH, 2013

Summer 1908 and Spring 1908 Correction

AUSTRIA (Burgess): has f AEG, a RUM, a VIE, a BUD, f ION, a SER.

ENGLAND (James): has f NWG, a LON, a YOR, a SWE, f NTH, f TYH, f NWY, a KIE,

f NAP, f BAL.

FRANCE (Williams): has a BUR, a PIE, f WES, a MUN, f GOL, a TYO.

ITALY (Crow): has a ALB.

RUSSIA (Gardner TAKES OVER for Barno): SPRING: a STP h; has a STP, a UKR, a SEV,

a WAR, a BER, f SMY, a SIL, f GRE, f GOB.

E-Mail Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: David Burgess, burgesscd of roadrunner.com or dburgess of glensfallshosp.org

ENGLAND: Drew James, kjames01 of twcny.rr.com or karelanddrew of gmail.com

FRANCE: Don Williams, wllmsfmly of earthlink.net or dwilliams of fontana.org ($5)

GERMANY: Marc Ellinger, mellinger of blitzbardgett.com

ITALY: John Crow, johnny.crow of hotmail.com

RUSSIA: Mike Barno, mpbarno of gmail.com; RESIGNS

RUSSIA STANDBY: Heath Gardner (aka Heath Davis-Gardner), heath.gardner of gmail.com

TURKEY: Fred Wiedemeyer, wiedem of telus.net or wiedem of shaw.ca

Game Notes:

1) There seems to be a fairly wide range of coordination this turn, I wonder what's next. We're up and running again. Any interest in joining the new game? Or maybe the new Breaking Away game? But then, maybe we're NOT going to keep going...

2) The EF two-way draw is voted down. A five way DIAS is proposed and Mike votes for it as he resigns. If everyone else accepts it, the game will end with Summer.

3) I left Mike's a STP off the map by accident last season. I did have an order to hold, so hold it did, now we see it on the list and map. Not related to this at all, Mike has asked to resign for personal reasons. We'll miss him, thanks for playing, Mike, and hope all goes well for you! If we go on, Heath Davis-Gardner is called as a standby. Map is in last issue, just add the St.Pete army.

SPIRALS OF PARANOIA: 2005A, Regular Diplomacy

THREE WAY DRAW DECLARED BETWEEN FRANCE, GERMANY AND RUSSIA

Final Supply Center Chart

FRANCE (Tretick):

PAR,BRE,MAR,spa,lvp,lon,

(has 9)

por,tun,nap

GERMANY (Ozog/Tallman):

KIE,BER,MUN,hol,den,bel,swe,

(has 14)

vie,rom,bud,ven,tri,ser,edi

RUSSIA (Sundstrom):

WAR,STP,SEV,MOS,rum,ank,con,

(has 11)

smy,nwy,gre,bul

Neutral:

none

(Total=34)

E-Mail Addresses of the Participants

AUSTRIA: Paul Rauterberg, paul.rauterberg of att.net

ENGLAND: Fred Wiedemeyer, wiedem of telus.net or wiedem of shaw.ca

FRANCE: Buddy Tretick, 5023 Sewell's Pointe Way, Fredericksburg, VA 22407

FRANCE: Temporary Standby is Jim Tretick, jtretick of gmail.com

GERMANY: Terry Tallman, ($2) terryt of whidbey.net

GERMANY: Temporary Standby is Eric Ozog, ElfEric of Juno.com

ITALY: Doug Kent, dougray30 of yahoo.com

RUSSIA: Matt Sundstrom, mattandzoe of earthlink.net

TURKEY: Vince Lutterbie, melvin4852 of sbcglobal.net

Game Notes:

1) We had two medical replacements, as Buddy's son Jim (who some of us played with many years ago as James Alan) was playing for Buddy as Eric was playing for Terry.

2) This one sort of ground to a three way draw. Thanks to everyone who played. Endgame statements still are welcome, I haven't received any yet and ran out of time. I'll print the SC chart for sure next time.

LAST WORD: World DipCon was held in Paris last weekend, and it was great fun being on Facebook and watching it play out game by game over the weekend. Of course, they still play that damnable C-Diplo over there, with the resulting last turns play to grab centers. As usual that played out in spades leading to the top board and the WDC Championship this year:

world-diplomacy-database.com/php/results/tournament_class.php?id_tournament=1413

presents all the details of the results. The top board ended up with Frenchmen Diplomacy superstars Cyrille Sevin and Gwen Maggi, also French newcomers Rene Van Rooijen and Pascal Maguy. Fellow Economist, Native Frenchman, and current Canadian Nicolas Sahuguet. Those were the Francophones, then we had two stellar native English speakers, perhaps the two best in the world, Edi Birsan from the US and Toby Harris from the UK. My bet prior to the tournament had been on Toby. Well, you know the way C-Diplo comes down to the last season. It could have been Toby, playing Germany, or Cyrille, playing France, but not Edi, playing England. It reminded me of the last time I played at WDC in Paris, where Edi played Kingmaker. Edi chose Cyrille, and Cyrille is now a three-time WDC champion. Toby tells me "Brian Dennehy Lives!", he must be terribly disappointed. Of course, the worst part is that MY prediction was wrong. But I still think Toby is the player I'd most want to go to war with, though Edi and Cyrille are great. By the way, over on the other side of the board, Nicolas Sahuguet was playing Austria and he also came up just short. In the unforgiving C-Diplo, Cyrille had 7 centers and Toby and Nicolas had 6. Give me Belgium or give me death!!! Anyway, I really wish I had been there, I will go back to Paris to play Diplomacy again one of these years.

The final last word is that Don Williams, as always, has his birthday precisely one month before mine, so he gets to turn 56 first this Thursday, wish him the best and most happy one!

ZERO SUM, Subzine to Eternal Sunshine, Issue 17 August 25, 2013

Published by Richard Weiss. richardweiss@higherquality.com. All orders due by 8 AM of the Sunday before orders are due for Eternal Sunshine. For September, I presume that makes the due date September 22.

Current Games: 1. Yahtzee (in process, no new players)

2. What’s My Line – new panelists encouraged to join in at any time

3. Drone Wars – a variant Diplomacy, now open and accepting players

GM Musings: Weather – mild summer in Folsom, CA. Cool evenings with windows open in August. Until last Saturday, then humid and back to high 90s. Watch out rest of country, major heat and thunderstorms coming, likely tornados.

Son-in-law works in the Cal Fire Agency, mostly in an office, but is on call to support fire fighters. I can’t believe he hasn’t been called down to the Rim fire on the edge of Yosemite, that is only 7% controlled, has caused Emergency situations in the surrounding counties and the City of SF (water comes from there and energy). The fire is within 20 square miles of becoming the largest wildfire ever in CA. I spent a week a summer for about 10 years a few miles south of the fire. I’m hoping there’s some rugged land for sale in the spring – cheap.

Bank says no to loans. In last two years income is mixed between self-employed and employed. Neither of enough to justify $300,000.00. $30,000 annual income would qualify to $100,000 loan. Interesting. Zillow says home prices in Folsom to rise 19.6% percent in next 12 months. I’ll bet anyone 2:1 that the prices won’t have risen by 19.6% one year from 8/5/2013. New contest, provide the odds for or against that prices will have risen by 19.6% from Zillow prices 8/5/2013 on 8/5/2014 on my house, 125 Goodell Road.

Kim Philby Yahtzee: In case anyone was wondering, all rolls in Kim Philby were thrown and recorded before the game started. No subconscious influence in the rolls.

NEW GAME OFFER NEW GAME OFFER NEW GAME OFFER

Drone Wars Diplomacy Game offer to the world of Eternal Sunshine. First seven to sign up are in for this Gunboat with Press variation based on Jim Burgess’s game that might have been called Evil Yuppie Empire Nuclear War Nuke a Gay Baby Whale for Christ Diplomacy. Send me your interest to play and a ranking as to which country you want to be. First in gets first choice. Game will be named Margaretha Geertruida Zelle. My email remains: richardweiss@higherquality.com

Drone Wars Diplomacy is a variant based on the variants Evil Yuppie and Black Hole Dip. Seven players, each a regular country on the Dip board. Gunboat with press.  One drone stocked with one nuclear weapon each supply center owned.  Each turn order your units and your drones. No requirement to move or bomb.  Units ordered same as regular dip. Drones are ordered as to what map location to bomb.  Drone orders are valid to any map location.  You can name your drones, number them, or just order “Drones to:” and a list of map locations to bomb.

Drones explode with the nuking. Any nuke not used in a calendar year fizzes out, is buried in a container, and sent into the middle of the sun. No carry-over of nukes. Use it or lose it.

A piece that ends a turn in a map location that experienced a drone attack that turn is annihilated.  Once a space is bombed, the space remains contaminated with 225 rem (2+ Sieverts) for slightly more than 100,000 years.  You may order units through a space with 225 rem radiation. Each unit can survive going through one map location with 225 rem of radiation. Your unit remains carrying the 225 rem of exposure for the rest of its life.

You may build new units in home SCs that have no or 225 rem contamination. SCs that have no or 225 rem both count towards how many drones you can order and how many units you can support

The same map location can experience more than one drone attack. Each drone attack increases the level of radiation by 225 rem. 450 rem is lethal (the Nuclear Regulatory Commission’s 50/30 level, with 50 being % of population expected to die and the 30 being the number of days it will take for that 50% of the population to die). Go through two spaces with 225 rem and the unit dies. Go through one space with 450 rem and the unit dies. Cannot birth (build) a unit in a home SC with 450 rem. Units built in home SCs with 225 rem carry that dose with them and die going through another contaminated space (or staying in the home SC for another turn). [Sounds complicated. Play won’t be.]

Start Spring 01.  No season separations.  Spring and Fall.  Autumn retreats, Winter builds and Spring orders together.  Last country with a unit and a SC with less than 450 rem contamination wins. 

I don’t have an e-map version of Diplomacy. Thus, I am begging for one (probably I need instructions how to use) from those who GM Dip games. Otherwise, this will be one lame appearing game. (Beg, beg)

There is a custodian who assigns variants numbers who has contacted me, Tom Howell, and we will be getting a number once the game (starts or stops?)

Jim Burgess has signed on and is Italy. Going once… Do I hear someone for Turkey?...

YAHTZEE AND YAHTZEE VARIANTS

Rules for regular Yahtzee published in Eternal Sunshine #65. Scoring and play modified from Milton Bradley’s Yahtzee Game copyrighted 1982. Hasbro lists the official rules at: http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/Yahtzee.pdf

Yahtzee Game: Kim Philby

First Roll of Round 10 was: 1,5,4,2,4

Doug saved the 4,4

Kevin saved the 4,4

Dane scored the 4,4

Geoff saved the 4,5

Second Roll of Round 10 was: (sequentially) 2, 1, 2

Doug saved the 4,4

Kevin saved the 4,4

Dane saved the 4,4

Geoff saved the 1, 2, 4, 5

Third Roll of Round 10 was: (sequentially) 4,6,2

Doug scored 20 for three of a kind

Kevin scored 12 for fours in the upper section and upper section total score with bonus is 105

Dane scored 12 for fours

Geoff scored: two in the top section

First Roll of Round 11 was: 5, 3, 1, 5, 1

Doug saved the 5,5

Kevin saved the 5,5

Dane saved the 5, 5

Geoff saved the 5, 5

Second Roll of Round 11 was: (sequentially) 4,1,6,

Doug saved the 5,5

Kevin saved the 5,5

Dane saved the 4,5,5,6

Geoff saved the 5,5 (and prayed harder)

Third Roll of Round 11 is: (sequentially) 1,4,3,6,6

Doug saved the

Kevin saved the

Dane saved the

Geoff scored: (one up for atheists)

First Roll of Round 12 was: 1,6,4,5,6

Doug saved the 6,5,4

Kevin saved the 6,6

Dane saved the 6,6

Geoff saved the 4,5,6

Second Roll of Round 12 was: (sequentially) 6,2,5,3,6

Doug saved the

Kevin saved the

Dane saved the

Geoff saved the

First Roll of Round 13 is: 4,4,4,1,4

Doug saved the

Kevin saved the

Dane saved the

Geoff saved the:

Round 13 is the last round!

For the next issue of Zero Sum, send in want to score for Round 11, what you want to save after Round 12, Roll 2, and what you want to save after Round 13 Roll 1. [[No one has used his Yahtzee yet. Odds on anyone not saving the 4,4,4,4?]]

Yahtzee in the lower section is scored as 50 or zero.

Scoring at the End of Round 10

Upper	Doug Kent	Kevin Wilson	Geoff Kemp	Dane Maslen
Ace = 1	1	4	3	2
Twos = 2	6	6	2	6
Threes = 3	6	9	3	9
Fours = 4	8	12	8	12
Fives = 5	15	15		15
Sixes = 6	24	24	18
Total	60	70	(34)	(44)
Bonus +35 if >63	0.0	35	0
Total Upper	60	105
Lower
3 of a Kind	20		24	22
4 of a Kind		29	28	28
Full House = 25	25	25	25	25
Sm Straight = 30	30	30		30
Lg Straight = 40		40	40	0.0
YAHTZEE = 50
Chance	24		21
Yahtzee Bonus
Total Lower
GRAND TOTAL	159	229	172	149

End of the Tenth Scoring Round. Only three more scoring rounds!

Huge odds favorite is Kevin.

Oleg Kalugin: What’s My Line?

Apologies, if any needed, in stealing a great idea from the original producers/creators. Per Wikipedia (retrieved 3 May 2013) Produced by Mark Goodson and Bill Todman for CBS Television, the show was initially called Occupation Unknown before deciding on the name What's My Line?

Oleg Kalugin officially started on 3 May, when Andy Lischett was the first panelist to submit questions. Andy submitted questions last round that I overlooked and we have a second panelist, Tom Howell. Welcome, Tom Howell, everyone. (Applause meter flashes to audience)

Next Turn: I will answer the question set of ALL players who send them to me (become a panelist). If you know my occupation but want to submit strange and unusual questions that may or may not contain clues to others, please do.

Panelist: Andy Lischett’s questions:

1. Are you a hitman? No. Don’t believe in that. I did always want to be a hatchet-man.
2. I am currently re-reading Double Indemnity. Are you Edward G. Robinson? I’m confident he was an actor and is dead and I’m alive. Hmmm, how to answer that. Or, I should ask – are you an insurance investigator? The best answer is even the most ridiculous statements out of the mouths of babes carry kernels of truth. Yes.
3. A lawyer? No, but one could be a lawyer who is neither unemployed nor an employee.
4. You are not an employee, so who pays you? Good question. For you to figure out and me to know. That was rhetorical. Yes. Are you unemployed? No. I pay a very high tax rate. No, because you have a nice office, but I’m stumped. Yes, Mr. Stumpee.
5. How about a real estate mogul? My ex got all the real estate. Died of Alzheimers. Kids got my inheritance already. Sad, sad story with happy ending, but answer is still no.
6. Maybe Tom’s questions will be better. No!

Panelist: Tom Howell’s questions:

1: Are you a Research Administrator? No

2: Are you a Design Administrator? No

3: Are there other distractions at you work place? Judge rings buzzer. Guest jumps. Other than what?

4: Do you work for a company that works for the stinking government? Judge rings buzzer. Guest stuffs hand into mouth. Another question that the guest cannot answer.

5: When you change work location, do you also change who you work for? Judge rings buzzer. Guest rolls eyes. Another question that the guest cannot answer.

Extra credit: Did I keep my questions singular No and to the correct number? No

This is the most fun round so far. Thank you for the entertainment, Andy and Tom. And don’t forget, I’ve been in zines and games with Andy for almost 30 years, including a few when he played in my zine, Zero Sum. And no, I’m not in the HVAC business. Come on others, come ask silly questions. Oleg Kalugin is a reality TV show compared to the fun of Where In The World Is Kendo Nagasaki.

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Paul Milewski, Arthur Shulman, Brad Wilson, needs four more.

Youngstown IV (Black Press): Ten-player variant, with off-board boxes to make it “worldwide.” A classic. Rules on request. Signed up: Brad Wilson, Heath Gardner, Andy Bate, Jack McHugh. Needs 6 more.

By Almost Popular Demand: Same as By Popular Demand, except the top choice in every category scores zero. Join at any time.

Eternal Sunshine Movie Quote Quiz: Join anytime. New game starts this issue!

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?: Rules in ES #58. Join anytime!

What’s My Line?: In Richard Weiss’ subzine. Ongoing, join anytime!

Drone Wars: Diplomacy variant being offered in Richard Weiss’ subzine. Rules in ES #77 (in his subzine). Sign up now!

Coming Soon?: 1898, Colonia VII-B. If you’re interested in one of these variants, or have a suggestion, let me know.

Standby List: HELP! I need standby players! – Current standby list: Richard Weiss, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Hank Alme, Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson (including Woolworth), Chris Babcock, Marc Ellinger, Heath Gardner, Jack McHugh, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

Acquire – “Winterbloom”

Players: Tom Howell, Hank Alme, Per Westling, and Martin Burgdorf.

Turn 9

Martin Burgdorf: Plays 3-I. Buys one Imperial and two Luxor.

Tom Howell: Plays 9-E.

Hank Alme: Plays 12-A. Buys one Festival and two Tower.

Per Westling:Plays 5-F. Buys one Imperial and one Festival.

Martin Burgdorf: Plays 2-H.

Turn Order for Turn 10: Tom Howell, Hank Alme, Per Westling, Martin Burgdorf, Tom Howell.

Deadline for Turn 10 is September 23rd at 7pm my time.

Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, W 24/S 25

Austria (Martin Burgdorf – martin_burgdorf “of” hotmail.com): Retreat A Norway - St Petersburg..

Remove A Kiel.. A Belgium Supports A Munich - Ruhr (*Cut*), F Brest - English Channel (*Fails*),

A Budapest Supports A Galicia, A Galicia Supports A Budapest (*Cut*), A Gascony – Paris,

A Moscow - Warsaw (*Fails*), A Munich – Ruhr, A Picardy Supports A Belgium,

A St Petersburg Supports A Sweden – Finland, A Sweden – Finland, A Vienna - Tyrolia.

England (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): Build A London.. A Berlin Supports F Denmark – Kiel,

F Denmark – Kiel, A Holland Supports A London – Belgium, A London - Belgium (*Fails*),

F North Sea Convoys A London – Belgium, A Norway – Sweden, F Norwegian Sea - Barents Sea.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): F Adriatic Sea Supports F Trieste,

F Baltic Sea Supports A Norway – Sweden, F Black Sea – Sevastopol, A Bulgaria - Rumania (*Fails*),

F English Channel Supports A London - Belgium (*Cut*), F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc),

F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Brest (*Fails*), F Piedmont Hold, A Rumania - Galicia (*Fails*),

A Serbia Supports A Bulgaria - Rumania (*Fails*), A Silesia – Munich, F Spain(sc) – Portugal,

F Trieste Supports F Venice, A Ukraine - Moscow (*Fails*), F Venice Supports F Trieste,

A Warsaw Supports A Rumania - Galicia (*Cut*).

F 25 Deadline is September 24th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

A => T: The embassies of Austria-Hungary always were and still are quite prepared to negotiate, it was the King of England who refused to talk.

“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse

Billy Ray Valentine: Probably in his limousine.

Duke of York: Sells 488 Piastres. Buys 786 Pounds.

Smaug the Dragon: Snore.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Pounds. Buys 311 Piastres.

Baron Wuffet: Zip.

Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Also accepting wooden quarters.

VAIONT Enterprises: Resting his eyes.

Insider Trading LLC: Yawn.

Bourse Master: Holds.

PRESS

Bilbo to York: Go ahead and churn: you won't disturb any sleepers.

Smaug to Duke: Whadda ya mean "no one wins"? Are they contemplating a draw?

Duke of York WHINES: I don't have the most Piastres any more, BUT I have way more Pounds than anyone, I wonder what THAT buys me???

DUKE OF YORK CHURNS: Yeah, so to MAKE SURE, I stay ahead in the end, I churn.....

Duke of York to Rothschild: You may be made of Money, but you don't understand a whit about Diplomacy!!

DUKE OF YORK RIDES TOWARD THE YAWNING GATES OF HELL: I stab at thee!!!

Duke of York to BOURSEMASTER: Do you think I should tell them? Nah, I'm amazed they've not figured it out yet.....

Next Bourse Deadline is September 23rd at 7:00pm my time

Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, End Game

I am still assembling the data for the EOG report…need some help from others on this one, especially the early game years. I should have the report in the next issue.

England (Richard Weiss): I know the game lasted a long-time on the real calendar, but it seemed to go by in a flash to me. Seems like I just sent my first set of orders in, like, maybe a month ago. Where does the time fly when you're being stabbed again. Congratulations to whomever was playing. I never did get any email or letters, calls, faxes, texts, twitters, jitters, heebies or jeebies. Oh wait, I did just send my first set of orders in. How can someone win on the first turn? Oh well, another fun and rousing game. Let's all do it again, eh chaps?

Diplomacy “Jerusalem” 2012A, W 06/S 07

Austria (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A Vienna - Trieste.

England (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): Build A Edinburgh, A London..

F Baltic Sea Supports A Berlin (*Ordered to Move*), A Edinburgh – Norway,

F English Channel Convoys A London – Brest, A Kiel Supports A Burgundy - Ruhr (*Dislodged*,

retreat to Ruhr or Denmark or Holland or OTB), A London - Brest (*Bounce*), A Marseilles Hold (*Dislodged*,

retreat to Burgundy or Gascony or OTB), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - North Africa (*Bounce*),

F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*), F North Sea Convoys A Edinburgh – Norway,

F Portugal Supports F Spain(sc), F St Petersburg(nc) - Barents Sea.

Germany (Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): A Berlin – Kiel, A Burgundy – Paris,

A Picardy - Brest (*Bounce*), A Prussia – Berlin, F Spain(sc) Supports A Piedmont - Marseilles.

Italy (Mark Firth – mark.r.firth “of” capita.co.uk): Build F Rome.. F Gulf of Lyon Supports F Tyrrhenian

Sea - Western Mediterranean (*Fails*), A Munich Supports A Berlin – Kiel,

F Naples Supports F Adriatic Sea - Ionian Sea, A Piedmont – Marseilles, F Rome - Tyrrhenian Sea (*Fails*),

F Western Mediterranean - North Africa (*Bounce*).

Russia (Richard Weiss – richardweiss “of” higherquality.com): A Moscow – Sevastopol,

A Silesia – Warsaw, A Warsaw - Moscow.

Turkey (Geoff Kemp - ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): F Rumania takes shore leave (Holds),

F Adriatic Sea - Ionian Sea, A Albania – Serbia, A Bohemia Supports A Galicia – Silesia, A Budapest – Galicia,

A Galicia – Silesia, A Serbia – Budapest, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean (*Fails*).

Now Proposed – E/T, E/G/T, E/G/I/T, A/E/G/I/R/T, and Concession to E.

Please vote with your orders. NVR=No.

F 07 Deadline is September 24th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Russia to sky, then to pond, then to Black Sea:  "Quack.  Quack.....  Quack Quack.   Here Ducky.  Little Ducky, nice little Ducky...  where are you little Ducky...?"  (becoming more plaintive as the soliloquy progresses). 

Russia to Health, that rhymes with Feather, that is a part of a duck:  "Do you know where the cute little ducky went?  ..  No?...   Oh.   Sadly, looking up with eyes with downcast head, "Do you want to play in the tubbie?"

London (Apr 1, 1907): King John was even more worried than usual, "We understand communications with the new German authorities in Berlin are interrupted and late considering all these recent tumultuous events. We

can only hope and pray that our last missive reached the German High command in time to avert disaster."

Diplomacy “Walkerdine” 2012D, Summer 03

Seasons Separated by Player Request

Austria (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” yahoo.com): Disband F Greece.. Has A Budapest, A Trieste.

England (Marc Ellinger - mellinger “of” bbdlc.com): Has F Barents Sea, A Finland, F North Sea, A Norway,

F Sweden.

France (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): Has A Belgium, F Gulf of Lyon, A Piedmont, F Tunis,

F Tyrrhenian Sea, F Western Mediterranean.

Germany (Steve Cooley – tmssteve “of” gmail.com): Has F Baltic Sea, F Denmark, A Kiel, A Silesia,

A Tyrolia.

Italy (Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): Retreat A Trieste - Albania.. Has A Albania, F Naples,

A Rome, A Venice.

Russia (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): Has F Aegean Sea, A Galicia, F Gulf of Bothnia,

A Rumania, A Warsaw.

Turkey(Chris Babcock - cbabcock “of” asciiking.com): Has F Constantinople, F Greece, F Ionian Sea,

A Serbia, A Ukraine.

Deadline for F 03 Will Be September 24^th at 7am My Time

PRESS

Italy – France: We do what we must to try and survive. How long before you choose to stab Germany in Holland?

(Moscow to Ankara) I don't think I ever NMR'ed on USAK, but forgive me if I did. It was probably Congress's fault somehow.

My Man Steverino to BOOB: You know what would be great?

BOOB to My Man Steverino: No, but I eagerly await your command, my liege.

My Man Steverino to BOOB: I just realized . . . your name rhymes with “noob!” That’s so funny! Oh yeah, well, tell you what: how about you start moving against Turkey and leave all your dots for me?

BOOB to My Man Steverino: Yes sir! Count on me, sir!

My Man Steverino to BOOB: Ah, no. “Sir” will not cut it—it’s “liege” or “highness.”

Constantinople to London: Don’t take the recent change as a downgrade. We are still going to take Belgium before you do, infidel dog!

Limey-Hun: Yo, so are we going to convoy you to Stp, mate?

Black Press Gunboat, “Fred Noonan”, 2013Arb32, W 03

Seasons Separated by Player Request

Austria: Remove A Bohemia.. Has A Budapest, F Greece.

England: Has F Liverpool, F London, F North Sea.

France: Has A Burgundy, F Clyde, F English Channel, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Picardy.

Germany: Build F Kiel.. Has A Belgium, F Denmark, A Holland, F Kiel, A Munich, F Skagerrak, F Sweden.

Italy: Build A Venice..Has F Adriatic Sea, A Trieste, F Tunis, A Tyrolia, A Venice, A Vienna.

Russia: Remove A Moscow.. Has A Finland, A Galicia, F Norway, F Sevastopol, A Ukraine.

Turkey: Build A Smyrna.. Has F Aegean Sea, F Black Sea, A Bulgaria, A Rumania, A Serbia, A Smyrna.

Deadline for S 04 Will Be September 24^th at 7am My Time

PRESS

Ger-Fra: North to England! Go North, the Rush is on!

Ger - Rus: Yes, yes, I know....scorched earth policy now in effect...resist to the last center...anybody else can have your dots but me...yadayadayada

France to Germany: I will just keep knocking on the door. Sooner or later a drunken barmaid or Scottish noble will let me in!

Rome-Constantinople: You get Greece, I get Budapest, and we move on together?

Russia - All: No press because ...

Diplomacy “Sweet Spot” 2013A, Summer 03

Seasons Separated by Player Request

Austria (paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): Has A Ukraine.

England (Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): Retreat F North Sea-OTB.. Has F Helgoland Bight,

A London, F Norway.

France (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Has F English Channel, A Liverpool, F North Sea,

A Picardy, A Ruhr, A Spain.

Germany (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): Retreat A Vienna-OTB.. Has A Denmark, A Kiel,

A Munich, F Sweden.

Italy (Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): Has F Adriatic Sea, F Ionian Sea, A Piedmont,

A Serbia, A Trieste, F Tyrrhenian Sea, A Vienna.

Russia (Chris Babcock – cbabcock “of” asciiking.com ): Has F Gulf of Bothnia, A Moscow, F Rumania,

A St Petersburg, A Warsaw.

Turkey (Larry Peery – peery “of” ix.netcom.com): Has F Aegean Sea, A Bulgaria, A Constantinople,

A Greece, A Smyrna.

Deadline for F 03 Will Be September 24th at 7am My Time

PRESS

(Versailles) - The Woman eyed her aide with narrow eyes. "You're sure? The Italians are in Piedmont AND the Tyrrhenian Sea?"

"Yes, Madam. I wouldn't make a mistake about THAT."

"No, you wouldn't, Etienne." She ignored the aide's muffled sigh and shook her head. "And we sent the Italians our best wines, didn't we?"

"Yes, Madam. The very best."

"Ingrates!" The Woman screeched. "A knife in our back! A dastardly backstab!" She began to pace. "The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune!" Placing hands on hips, she whirled around. "Send a message to the Italians. Make it...gentle and sweet." Her lips twisted as though she was tasting vinegar. "Tell them we're sure this is all a mistake and misunderstanding. And send more wine."

"Yes, Madam. Immediately." The aide hesitated. "At least the English campaign is progressing nicely."

The Woman grunted. "There's a fleet on the run, Etienne. And men running sometimes are more dangerous than those who are dug in for the duration."

"And the Germans? They're gaining in strength."

The Woman paused, then walked back to her desk. Opening the center drawer, she reached in a scooped something into her hand. She shook the hand in the air, then tossed the item on the desk. "Sometimes, Etienne, you just have to roll the dice."

"Merde," the aide whimpered.

Par-Rome: Heath, Heath, Heath....

Melinda-Boob: Hey, France is my LEAST favorite country to play!

Eng – Ger: Good luck. You will be next on France’s hit parade!

Woolworth II-D “Coney Island” 2013Bcb19, F 03

Austria (Secret): Ret A Gal-Vie..A Tyr S F Tri, F Tri S A Ven (OTM), A Vie-Gal, A Bud-Rum (Dis-ret Trn, OTB).

Balkans (Secret): A Ser S Rum-Bud, A Rum-Bud, F Alb S A Ven-Tri.

England (Secret): F Lon-Wal, A Lpl S F Lon-Wal, F Edi-Nao (NSU), F Cly U.
France (Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): A Wal-Lon, F Eng S A Wal-Lon, A Bel-Hol,

F Gol-Tys.

Germany (Marc Ellinger - mellinger “of” bbdlc.com): A Pie-Mar, A Swi S A Pie-Mar, A Sil S A Ber-Mun,

A Ber-Mun, F Hol-Bel (Dis-ret Hel, Kie, OTB).

Italy (Secret): F Ion-Tun, F Tys S F Ion-Tun (Dis-ret Tus, Nap, Sic, OTB), A Ven-Tri, A Apu S A Rom-Ven,

A Rom-Ven.
Russia (Jim Burgess - jfburgess “of” gmail.com): Ret A Sev-Mos..A Mos-War, A Lvn S A Mos-War,

A Ukr S A Gal, A Gal S A Rum-Bud.

Scandinavia (Geoff Kemp - ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): F Nwg S F Nth, F Nth S F Nwg, A Den H.
Spain (Secret): F Wms S F Gol-Tys, F Ice-Nwg, F Nao S F Ice-Nwg, A Ruh S A Bel-Hol.

Turkey (Hugh Polley – hapolley “of” yahoo.ca): F Bla S A Sev-Rum, A Sev-Rum, A Bul S A Ser, F Aeg-Ion.

Deadline for W 03/S 04 is September 24th at 7am My Time

Supply Center Chart

Austria Tri, Vie=2 Remove 2

Balkans Ser, Gre, Bud=3 Even

England Lon, Edi, Lpl=3 Even

France Bre, Par, Bel, Hol=4 Even

Germany Kie, Mun, Ber, Swi, Mar=5 Even

Italy Nap, Ven, Rom, Tun, Cre=5 Even

Russia Mos, War, Sev, Stp, Gal=5 Build 1

Scand. Nwy, Swe, Den=3 Even

Spain Por, Mor, Mad, Ice=4 Even

Turkey Ank, Con, Smy, Bul, Rum=5 Build 1

PRESS

Scandinavia – England: My email was in the game-start, I think we are both isolated in this corner, and need each other. Try and find some way of talking to me.

Italy to Bulkans - That ##@## Austrian attacked Ven, so I am with you for now!

Reuters: Just in - Reports that Austria is German's secret ally! Why else would Germany support an Austrian attack on an until now friendly power?

Turkey to Russia/Bulgaria: Did I take Rum? Sure hope so, I need the build!

By Almost Popular Demand

The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the a popular answer but NOT the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. However, if your answer is the most popular answer, you score ZERO. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be doubled. In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5. Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds, and the score is doubled for Round 10. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted!

Round 7 Categories

1. One of Beethoven’s symphonies.

2. Something associated with New Orleans.

3. Something you dread.

4. A famous blind person (living or dead).

5. Something you frequently forget to buy at the grocery store.

Selected Comments By Category

Beethoven – Brendan Whyte “You know, the one that goes da da da dum, boom boom, la la la...” Jim Burgess “This one is pure guesswork, I should have said the obvious 9th just because most people won't say it and one of the others will be most popular.”

New Orleans – Robin ap Cynan “Jazz and Katrina seem too obvious.” Richard Weiss “One of my hometowns. Hmmm, not Mardi Gras, not Bourbon Street, please not blackened red fish or Paul Proudhomme, maybe Emeril, Jackson Square, Saints, Superdome, French Market, Cafe DuMond, Audobon Zoo, Meters, Professor Longhair, Heritage and Jazz Festival, Neville Brothers, Congo Square, Tulane, Monkey Hill (built in Audobon Park so school children could take a field trip and see what a hill is). Restaurants, MS River, Jax, Falstaff, Moon Landrieu, Lake Pontchartrain. I'll go with the Jazz Festival.” Marc Ellinger “I think of a lot of things related to NewO (Bourbon Street, Hurricanes, Pat O’Briens,) but as I get older, I always go straight to Acme Oyster house and get 2 pounds of crawfish.” Paraic Reddington “I’m guessing Mardi-Gras has to be number one here.”

Dread – Richard Weiss “Death and taxes. First dates. Who a child brings home to meet the family. Family reunions. Dentist. (maybe that one). Shots, colonoscopies, colonoscopy preparations, driving tests, urine drug tests, interviews, if I was Catholic I'd surely have to say confessionals. I'll go with Dentist as maybe a safe and popular third choice.” Brendan Whyte “Locks (dread locks, geddit?)” Jim Burgess “Death is the obvious choice, I'll go with it anyway.” Marc Ellinger “If in-laws were outlawed…..”

Blind – Robin ap Cynan “Again, Stevie Wonder too obvious- would John Milton have been too much of a minority interest?” Richard Weiss “Being blind myself, I've never seen one. Not sure how I'd know. Helen Keller obviously is not a good choice. My favorite of all time is the woman who was arrested for driving without a license. She was blind. Her boyfriend started driving home after the party was too drunk. She decided she'd take over and have him tell her which way to go. 185 yards and straight into a tree after bouncing off a parked car. She justified her actions to the officer by saying boy friend was obviously endangering her and too drunk to drive. In VA. In my newspaper. 20 - 30 years ago. No urban myth. Reality. I'll go with Stevie Wonder as a possible loser but more points if a winner than Ray Charles. I'd really like to say "Every Baseball Umpire who ever called me out" but that would only get one vote. Referee might get two though.” Dane Maslen “I think most of my answers will be low-scoring, so let's gamble on Stevie Wonder not scoring zero.” Marc Ellinger “I really don’t like him and I respect him even less; however, he is famous…even if he is worthless.” [[You think the man who gave us Songs in the Key of Life is worthless? For that alone he should get some credit.]] Paraic Reddington “Come on Stevie Wonder, don’t let me down now!”

Forget at Store – Melinda Holley “Actually I DON'T forget because I take a list with me - and the list has been vetted 3 or 4 times.” Richard Weiss “Toilet Paper is my choice. If I were more brave and dishonest, I'd say girlfriend's/wife’s pads/tampons. No one ever forgets the beer. I think TP will be #1, alas.” Brendan Whyte “I can't remember... um...” Jim Burgess “I really don't get this one, there are probably obvious answers I'm completely forgetting.” Marc Ellinger “Could be milk, so 50/50 shot.”

Congrats to Marc Ellinger for getting the high score of 24 this round. Poor Heath Gardner got stuck with a single point (as did anyone who NMR’d)

Round 8 Categories

1. A team in the National Football League.

2. Something you forget to bring when you leave your home.

3. How many teaspoons (or lumps) of sugar typically put in a cup of coffee.

4. A film with Kathleen Turner in it.

5. A flavor of frozen ice or snow cone.

Deadline for Round 8 is September 24th at 7:00am my time

Round 2

There are ten rounds of movie quotes, and each round consists of ten quotes. Identify the film each quote is from. Anyone may enter at any point. If you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner – and it might be a very good prize! Research is not permitted! That means NO RESEARCH OF ANY KIND, not just no searches for the quotes themselves. The only legal “research” is watching movies to try and locate the scenes. I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO DISQUALIFY ANY PLAYER I BELIEVE IS CHEATING. I ALSO RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE THE QUOTES SLIGHTLY (ALTHOUGH SOMETIMES I DO A FEW FROM MEMORY SO THEY COULD BE OFF ANYWAY). Each round will also contain one bonus question, asking what the ten movies being quoted have in common. The player with the most correct answers each round gets 3 points, 2^nd place gets 2 points, and 3^rd place gets 1 point. In the event of ties, multiple players get the points (if three players tie for first, they EACH get 3 points). High score at the end of ten rounds wins the game, and a prize (unless you cheated). If there’s enough participation I may give a prize for 2^nd and maybe even 3^rd place overall too. The final round will be worth double points.

1. A failure is merely the absence of success. Any fool can achieve failure. But a fiasco…a fiasco is a disaster of epic proportions. Elizabethtown. The Bachelorette – JB.

2. It's with deep sadness that we turn over to you this young woman, whose dream to ride on a giant swan resulted in her death. Drop Dead Gorgeous. Spider Man 2 – JB.

3. I guess the moral here is: you must be careful what you pretend to be because in the end you are who you're pretending to be. Mother Night. Spider Man 3 – JB. The Talented Mr. Ripley – RD.

4. We're not going to have a war. We're going to have the appearance of a war. Wag the Dog. Correct – KW, HA, AL, RD. Jumanji – JB.

5. If we can get a picture of Julia Roberts in a thong, we can certainly get a picture of this weirdo. Spider Man. Correct – JB .

6. You can be anywhere when your life begins. You meet the right person and anything is possible. Crazy/Beautiful. Elizabethtown – JB. Risky Business – HA.

7. Now they're going to sue the hospital. All they want is money. Can you imagine using a tragedy like this for your own selfish motives? Bonfire of the Vanities. Eternal sunshine of the Spotless Mind – JB. The Dark Knight – RD.

8. I'm flesh and blood, but not human. I haven't been human for two hundred years. Interview With the Vampire. Correct – KW, HA, AL, AY. Questions With a Vampire – JB.

9. The earth is evil. We don't need to grieve for it. Melancholia. Correct – JB.

10. Those girls have a bright future ahead of them. The other one was just going to end up a kook. The Virgin Suicides. Charlie’s Angels – RD.

Bonus – What do these films all have in common? Kirsten Dunst appears in all of them. Correct – JB. All based on famous books – KW. Tom Cruise films – HA.

Score This Round: Jim Burgess [JB] – 4; Kevin Wilson [KW] – 2; Hank Alme [HA] – 2; Andy Lischett [AL] – 2; Rick Desper [RD] – 1; Andy York [AY] - 1.

Points So Far: Rick Desper [RD] – 4; Jim Burgess [JB] – 4; Jack Mcugh [JM] – 2; Kevin Wilson [KW] – 2; Hank Alme [HA] – 2; Andy Lischett [AL] – 2; Andy York [AY] - 1..

Round 3

1. A real farmer: he spent his childhood in the wheat, and his marriage in the hay.

2. Go to B-Deck immediately! I repeat: Go to…C-Deck immediately!

3. Ad hoc, ad loc, and quid pro quo! So little time, so much to know!

4. They have to paint me red before they chop me. It's a different religion from ours.

5. She's a drag, a well-known drag. We turn the sound down on her and say rude things.

6. Do you think you could get some heat in here, or are we practicing to be Canadians?

7. I fought for three reasons. I can't remember what they were.

8. Under the terms of the Roman occupancy, we're entitled to be crucified in a purely Jewish area.

9. I'll play, you know, whatever you want me to play. Or I won't play at all if you don't want me to play, you know.

10. So long as I get some beer and I get paid, you can make me do anything, I'm professional!

Bonus – What do these films all have in common?

Deadline for Round 3 is September 24th at 7:00am my time

General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine: September 24th, 2013

at 7:00am my time.

See You Then!