Hint to the Person in the Closest
Geographical Guess:
I never appeared on what made you famous, and I continue to be identified by
someone else.
Deadline
for Turn 5 is: March 25th at 7am my time
Brain Farts: The Only
Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance
By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jwmchughjr@gmail.com
(or just email Doug and
he’ll send it to me)
Issue #64
For those of you who give a shit, I have
a contract job right now so I am not going to be homeless. I’m depressed though, but only because Sack’s
Baseball league let Jawn Caruso back in for another
season. I thought we banned him? Oh and in the meantime, fuck raising the
minimum wage, just raise my wage.
Some
Thoughts on the Rules
by Paul Milewski
IX.4
SELF-STANDOFF in the 1976 rules provides that:
While a country may not dislodge its own units, it can stand itself off
by ordering two equally well supported attacks on the same space. However, if one of the attacks has more
support than the other, it will succeed.
Example 3.
AUSTRIA: A Ser—Bud, A Vie—Bud. RUSSIA: A Gal S AUSTRIAN A Ser—Bud. The Austrian
move A Ser—Bud succeeds due to the Russian
support. It would not succeed if there
were an Austrian army already in Budapest.
Note that the move succeeds whether the support is from a foreign unit
as illustrated or from a unit of the same country.
To put it in everyday terms, the two Austrian units were
fighting each other, as in shooting and stabbing each other and blowing each
other up. Even worse, a Russian unit is
helping one Austrian unit beat up the other one.
The rulebook in isolated instances tries to explain or
justify something in everyday terms. The
third paragraph of VII.1 MOVEMENT is such an instance:
When a fleet is in a coastal province, the warships are assumed to be
at any point along the coast of that province.
The fleet may move to an adjacent coastal province only if it is
adjacent along the coastline, so that the vessels could move down the coast to
that province.
Yet, VI.2 UNITS states that “’fleets’ are denoted by long blocks and represent control of a body of
water or a coastal province by warships or their
associated land forces.”
Associated land forces? Is that
meant to rationalize VII.1 MOVEMENT. “Only one
unit may be in a space at a time” and VII.3.b. PROVINCES HAVING TWO COASTS
(Bulgaria, Spain, and St. Petersburg) “A fleet entering one of these provinces
enters along one coast and may then move only to a space adjacent to that
coast; it nevertheless occupies the entire province?"
This is where you nod your head
and say, “That makes sense.” Did you nod your head in agreement when you read IX.4 SELF-STANDOFF
above? Does a country order two of its
units to attack each other? Order its own ships to fire on each other? (That is, outside of the movie Dr.
Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb?)
Is the problem that the rules use the terms move and attack
interchangeably and indiscriminately as if they meant the same thing? “VII.2 ATTACK. A move
order, correctly given, will sometimes in these rules be called an attack upon
the space to which the unit has been ordered to move.” Should there be a distinction between moving
to a space on the one hand and attacking a unit that is in that space on the
other? Logically, two units of the same
country ordered to move to the same space are not being ordered to attack each
other, but they could still fight a unit of another country trying to move to
the same space to which they’ve been ordered to move.
An equally odd result that seems to offend the senses is the
idea of an “unwanted” convoy, something not officially addressed until
publication of the 4th edition 2000 rules. According to the 4th edition 2000
rules, FRANCE: A Bel—Hol,
ENGLAND: F Nth C FRENCH A Bel—Hol would be resolved using the land route and the convoy
order “disregarded.” The exception is if France had
ordered “A Bel—Hol via
convoy”, in which case
the convoy route would be used and the land route disregarded. The colorful
explanation is that “this prevents
foreign powers from kidnapping an army and convoying it against its will.” Stick ‘em up, pal,
you’re coming with us.
So, your unit can accept, without your permission, an
unexpected and unwanted support from a unit of another country to defeat in
battle another one of your units (AUSTRIA:
A Ser—Bud, A Vie—Bud. RUSSIA: A Gal S AUSTRIAN A
Ser—Bud) but it can’t accept a convoy from a
fleet of another country to go to where it was ordered by you to go to begin
with?
Is France ordering “A Bel—Hol but not if the move to Hol
were to succeed
but valid for all other purposes?” Would
a better way to handle this be to require a player to include a complete convoy
route in the order to the army being convoyed (to prevent it from being
kidnapped), such as “FRANCE: A Bel—Nth—Hol, ENGLAND: F Nth C FRENCH A
Bel—Hol?” Also see “XII.1
CONVOYING AN ARMY ACROSS SEVERAL BODIES OF WATER…Thus, ENGLAND A Lon—Tun, F Eng C A Lon—Tun, F Mid C A Lon—Tun; FRANCE: F
Wes C ENGLISH A Lon—Tun.”
The 4th edition 2000 rules kept the change to the
1976 XII.4 AMBIGUOUS CONVOY ROUTES made by the “2nd edition/Feb.
‘82” rule XII.4 MORE THAN ONE CONVOY ROUTE.
The 1976 rule was that “if the
orders as written permit more than one route by which the convoyed army could
proceed from its source to its destination, if any of the possible routes are destroyed by dislodgment
of a fleet, the army may not move.” The example given is “Example 12. ENGLAND: A Lon—Bel, F
Eng A Lon—Bel, F Nth C
A Lon—Bel; FRANCE: F Bre—Eng, F Iri S F Bre—Eng.” The
1982 rule is, “if the orders as written
permit more than one route by which the convoyed army could proceed from its
source to its destination,…the army is not prevented from moving due to dislodgment of
fleets, unless all the routes are
disrupted.” This is a
complete 180°reversal of the 1976 rule.
In effect, don’t the 1982 and later rules allow the army to choose which
convoy route to take in case one or more is disrupted, or to try one route and
if that route doesn’t work, try another?
The example given is ”Example 12. ENGLAND: A Lon—Bel,
F Eng C A Lon—Bel, F
Nth C A Lon—Bel; FRANCE: F Bre—Eng, F Iri S F Bre—Eng.” Either
by 1976 or the 1982 rule, the spirit of “VII.4
MECHANICS OF WRITING ORDERS…An order which admits of two meanings is not
followed” is violated. To be consistent in spirit with VII.4, in
the case of “more than one convoy route” the attempted convoy should fail in
any case, disrupted or not. Too harsh? VII.3 b. PROVINCES HAVING TWO COASTS…If a
fleet is ordered to one of these provinces and it is possible for the fleet to
move to either coast, the order must specify which coast, or the fleet does not
move” is certainly unforgiving of ambiguous orders. That’s harsh.
Some consistency would be nice.
The “unwanted” convoy situation bears some resemblance to
the “ambiguous convoy route” or “more than one convoy route” situation insofar
as FRANCE: A Bel—Hol,
ENGLAND: F Nth C FRENCH A Bel—Hol
represents two routes A Bel could take, albeit only
one of them is a convoy, and could be resolved the same way as
if both were convoy routes.
To be consistent with the 1976 XII.4 AMBIGUOUS CONVOY ROUTES, if the
convoy ENGLAND: F Nth C FRENCH A Bel—Hol is disrupted, FRANCE: A Bel—Hol fails, even if the attack by the overland route without
the convoy would otherwise succeed. To
be consistent with the 1982 and later rules, if the convoy ENGLAND: F Nth C
FRENCH A Bel—Hol is disrupted, and FRANCE: A Bel—Hol does not fail on that account: it could still succeed
by the overland route. That would at
least be internally consistent.
Consider the 1976 rule “XII.5
A CONVOYED ATTACK DOES NOT PROTECT THE CONVOYING FLEETS. If a convoyed army attacks a fleet which is
supporting a fleet which is attacking one of the convoying fleets, that support
is not cut.” The example given is “Example 13. FRANCE: A Spa—Nap, F Lyo C A Spa—Nap, F Tyr C A Spa—Nap; ITALY: F
Ion—Tyr, F Nap S F Ion—Tyr.” Again, it is as if the naval
action is settled first before the convoy can occur. Had the order been F Lyo—Nap,
then F Nap S F Ion—Tyr would not have been cut by reason of “X. CUTTING SUPPORT. If a unit ordered to
support in a given space is attacked from a space different than the one in
which it is giving support, or is dislodged by an attack from any space,
including the one into which it is giving support, then its support is ‘cut.’” See “Example
8. GERMANY: A Pru—War,
A Sil S A Pru—War. RUSSIA: A War-Sil..” But see “Example 9. GERMANY: A
Ber—Pru, A Sil S A Ber—Pru. RUSSIA: A Pru—Sil,War S A Pru—Sil, F Bal—Pru.” Would it have been simpler, perhaps, to
simply say that a conflict arising from a convoyed army attacking a fleet which
is attacking one of the convoying fleets is resolved as if the fleet at
the end of the convoy were that fleet attacking and not the convoyed army? This would eliminated any doubt in the case
of FRANCE: A Spa—Nap, F Lyo C A
Spa—Nap, F Tyr C A Spa—Nap, A Rom S A Spa—Nap; ITALY: F Ion—Tyr, F Nap
S F Ion—Tyr. This also would avoid any
argument about whether X. CUTTING SUPPORT trumps XII.5 A CONVOYED ATTACK DOES
NOT PROTECT THE CONVOYING FLEETS. The
very notion that an attack by the convoyed army has no effect because the
convoy was disrupted suggests that conflicts at sea occur before the convoy can
happen. (XII.3 DISRUPTING A CONVOY. If a
fleet ordered to convoy is dislodged during that move, the army to be convoyed
remains in its original province and has no effect on the province to which it
was ordered.) If that is the case
(that conflicts at sea occur, and must be resolved, before anything else, in a
two-stage process), perhaps it would be simpler if the rules simply said
so. FRANCE: A Spa—Nap, F Lyo C A Spa—Nap, F Tyr C A Spa—Nap, A Rom—Nap; ITALY: F Ion—Tyr,
F Nap S F Ion—Tyr could still be resolved as A Rom—Nap cutting F Nap S F
Ion—Tyr because A Rom—Nap affects, or is indirectly involved in, a conflict at
sea. Alternatively, inasmuch as IX.6
HOLDING AND RECEIVING SUPPORT simply states that “support cannot be convoyed”
and does not offer any rationalization why not, how come an attack can be
convoyed, as opposed to an uncontested move to a coastal province?
A real stinker of a rule is the 1982 “XII. A CONVOYED ATTACK DOES NOT CUT CERTAIN SUPPORTS. If a convoyed army attacks a fleet which is
supporting an action in a body of water; and that body of water contains a
convoying fleet, that support is not cut.”
That’s “a body of water” as in “any body of water.” And that’s “contains a convoying fleet” as in
“any fleet convoying any army anywhere.”
The example given is the exact same “Example
13. FRANCE: A Spa—Nap, F Lyo C A Spa—Nap, F Tyr C A
Spa—Nap; ITALY: F Ion—Tyr, F Nap S F Ion—Tyr” given in the 1976
rules. Sure you get the same result with
that example. But FRANCE: A Spa—Nap, F Lyo C A Spa—Nap, F Tyr C A Spa—Nap; ITALY: F Apu—Ion,
F Nap S F Apu—Ion dislodges Italy’s F Nap but doesn’t
cut the support it is giving, unless X. CUTTING SUPPORT
trumps XII.5. In any case, you should be
able to see that the 1982 version of XII.5 is hardly an improvement over the
1976 version. The 4th edition
2000 rules fix this by going back to “a
convoyed army does not cut the support of a unit supporting an attack against
one of the fleets necessary for the army to
convoy.” The example given is good
old “FRANCE: A Tun—Nap,
F Tyn C A Tun—Nap, ITALY: F Ion—Tyn, F
Nap S F Ion—Tyn.”
On page 2 of the 4th edition 2000 rules can be
found this clarifying remark:
All units have the
same strength. No one army is more
powerful than another. No single fleet
is stronger than another.
Diplomacy is not in any meaningful sense a
military simulation. At some point,
trying to make sense of the rules, as in “when a fleet is in a coastal
province, the warships are assumed to be at any point along the coast that
province” runs the risk of being just plain silly. In chess, a knight moves either two squares
to either side and one square up or down; or two squares back and one square to
the left or right. It cannot be
blocked. It is sometimes described as
“leaping over” other pieces that are between it and its destination. The Arabic name for the piece we call a
“knight” was faras (horse) and in European countries a
word for “horseman” was often adopted as its name. In the case of the bishop, on the other hand,
when chess arrived in England, the shape of the piece was thought to resemble a
bishop’s miter, but the piece we call the bishop is not thought of as a cleric
in every language: in Italian, he is alfiere, which
means standard-bearer; in German he is laufer, which means runner, and in French he is the fou, meaning fool
or probably specifically court jester.
Maybe it would be better not to get hung up on a “square block”
(square?) being an army and a “long block” being a fleet, or if you’re reading
the 4th edition 2000 rules, an army being “represented by a cannon
playing piece” or a fleet “by a battleship playing piece.” Step back and assess the situation as there
being just two types of units (Type A and Type B): there are some spaces in
which only one of the two types can be and some spaces in which either type can
be (“coastal provinces”); generally, either type of unit can
move from the space it’s in to an adjacent space suitable for its type, but one
type (“armies”) can also move from one coastal province to another as
if the two coastal provinces were adjacent. The army moves from its originating coastal
province to an adjacent body of water, and if necessary to reach its ultimate
destination, to another body of water adjacent to that one, repeating as
necessary until it reaches its destination coastal province if the fleet in
each body of water in question gives up its own move, as in the sense of IX.1
ORDERING SUPPORT: “A unit may give up its
move in order to support another unit trying to hold or enter a space.” (For purposes of support, the concession
to making sense of the rule is limited to “giving up its move” and not in terms
of soldiers or ships doing this or that.)
All we have to do at that point is arbitrarily call what the fleets are
doing “convoying” and say how to write the orders.
As it says the rules, “which
Great Power each [player] will represent” is “the only element of chance in the game.” That an order given to a unit will succeed or
not, and its consequences, is not knowable in advance based on the orders that
might be given to all other units on the board, but depends to some extent on
what the GM had for breakfast, is unsatisfactory.
ZERO SUM, Subzine to Eternal Sunshine, Issue 20 February 23, 2014
Published by Richard Weiss. richardweiss@higherquality.com. Zero Sum, the subzine to Eternal Sunshine is back! And NOT due to popular
demand. So why do it? Compete with Jack for self-hatred award? Increase my ESI rating and demonstrate
Eternal Sunshine eternal health? Neither
A nor B.
Game Offerings:
- World Cup Tournament
- NCAA Basketball Tournament (aka March Madness)
- Where In The World Is Kendo Nagasaki
Both tournaments
will have simple rules. One need not be
an aficionado to be the winner. Fun is
in the numbers and the press. Come one,
come all. Be here or be square. Or as the TV folks would hope, “Turn On, Tune
In, Drop in(to the hoop).” Also, while there is only one entrant per
person, people who don’t receive the zine directly, such as your best buddy,
child who loves Futbol or B-Ball, etc. can submit an
entry and compete. These are FAMILY
tournaments. And as Dougie
and Flap would sing in a duet, “We are family…”
World Cup Tournament
The first round
of the World Cup starts 12 June and ends 26 June (a Thursday). The Round of 16
is played on 28 June through 1 July. Quarter finals on 4/7 (month goes at the
end in the rest of the world) (Okay, America’s birthday, the 4th of July) and 5
July. Semis on the 8th and 9th. The
final match on 13 July.
There are eight
groups (A through H) each with four teams. Two advance from each Group. Rules
for advancement are complicated, but start with “points,” with 3 points awarded
for a win and one for a draw. The 32 teams and their seeding in Brackets A – H
are at the bottom of this section.
Getting
Points in the First (Bracket) Round:
Each entrant picks two teams in each group. There is no limit as to how many persons can
pick any given team (such as Brazil).
For each game in the first round (the brackets) when a team you selected
wins – you get 3 points. For each game
one of your team draws, you get one point.
The points for wins (3) and draws (1) for the entrant’s 16 teams are
added up and count toward the final score. As examples, If Côte d'Ivoire wins three games in the first round,
every person who selected them would have earned 9 points. If Japan had one draw and two losses in that
bracket – persons who selected Japan earn one point.
Getting
Points in the Round of 16 through the Championship Match:
Each entrant picks the final four and the World Cup winner. Note, the
World Cup winner selected must be one of the Final Four selected. For each victory in the Round of 16 and the
rest of the way, each time one of the entrant’s final four team’s wins, the entrant
gets 3 more points. No one can score points for the World Cup game winner
unless he or she picked them. All the points from these games are added to the
points gained during the First Round.
In case of a
tie in total points -
there will be a tie breaker. Each player
will select the country in the tournament they expect will have the lowest
average goals against them throughout the tournament. The tied player with the team that had the
lowest average goals against, wins.
If,
after the tie breaker,
two or more persons remain tied as co-winners, congratulations.
Entering the
World Cup Tournament
Send me, richardweiss@higherquality.com:
1. Your two teams in each of the eight
brackets;
2. Your final four teams;
3. Select one of your final four teams as
the World Cup Champion;
4. Select onr
team for lowest goals against average throughout the tournament;
Deadline for
World Cup Tournament entries is 8 AM, Pacific US Time, Saturday May 24,
2014.
Press is always
welcome. Write often and early.
Questions are
always appreciated.
Early entrants
or signing up and providing biting commentary are welcome.
NCAA Basketball Tournament (aka March
Madness)
Game Name: Turn On, Tune In, Drop In(to the Basket)
The NCAA tournament
was formerly played entirely in March, even after expansions to 64 teams. However, the final game now rivals April
Fools and Tax Day for America’s most favorite day in April.
Rules will be fairly
simple and not very different from your local office or bar.
68 teams will be
selected on Sunday 16 March, 2014. 8 of
those teams will play in the first round games formerly known as the Play In games. Those games are on 18 & 19 March. The Second-Third
Round games will be played 20 – 23 March.
With the Regionals not until 27 March, and presumably after Eternal
Sunshine’s due date, we have some opportunity for making this a little more
complicated.
Rules:
- Send me a completed bracket with the winner of each game throughout
the entire tournament, by email (with posted time prior to tip off of the
first game). In the scoring section
these are known as your “bracket teams.”
(As an enticement to participate, if you submit late, any game
already started or completed won’t count towards your score. Not a big penalty for the first games.)
- By opening tip off for the Regional Games (Sweet Sixteen), send me
your Final Four and predicted Tournament winner. In the scoring section these are known
as your “Final Four Teams” and your “NCAA
Champion Team.” Your Champion
prediction must be one of your final four.
- As tie-breakers, before tip-off to the first game, send me the team
you predict to have the highest average score (must play at least two
games to be eligible) and also the team you predict to have the lowest
points against average (must play at least two games to be eligible). Highest per game scoring average is the
first tie-breaker and then the lowest points against is the second tie
breaker.
Scoring:
- Players get one point every time one of their Bracket Teams wins
the game predicted. As an example,
you pick Xavier of New Orleans to win the play-in, all the way through the
Championship. They lose in the
first Final Four game. That would give you four points, one for each
victory.
- Players get one point every time one of the Final Four Teams win a
game in the Sweet Sixteen (Regionals) and the Semi-Finals.
- Players get two bonus points for predicting the NCAA Champion Team
(this can be in addition to the one point you get if your bracket team
selection as champion is also your NCAA Champion Team and wins). You do not score any points for the
Championship game, if one of your other Final Four teams wins the championship.
The final four
games will be played in Cowboy Stadium in Irving, TX. Tickets are available. Lodging is hard to get and expensive. Thus, Doug has offered his chairs, dog beds,
and one sofa to the first 8 persons who notify me of desire for lodging. In case more than 8 persons request
accommodations, your ESI rating will seed your priority. The higher your ESI,
the higher your pick of sleeping location.
In summary, by
opening tip-off on 18 March at the University of Dayton arena, send me, richardweiss@higherquality.com,
your
- Winners for each game throughout the entire bracket;
- Your predicted highest scoring team;
- Your predicted best defensive team; and,
- Your team name and location.
You will be listed as the Coach.
By opening tip-off
for the first Regional Game, likely to be the first game played in the South
Regional on 27 March, in the FedEx Forum in Memphis, TN; send me your:
- Press;
- Your choice for the Final Four; and,
- Your predicted NCAA Basketball Tournament Winner.
Where In The
World Is Kendo Nagasaki
Jim-Bob
has stated that a requirement to be a subzine in
Eternal Sunshine is to offer a game of WITWIKN.
Surely there isn’t enough interest to sustain four games in one
zine. However, if anyone does want to
play, send person and location.
Zero Sum Wrinkle of WITWIKN (ZSWWITWIKN)
is the location is not a metropolitan location but a “famous” landmark
(Building, Geographic Feature, National Park, World Famous Beach, Mountain,
Wonder of the World, etc.). While
guessing, one may guess a metropolitan area for convenience (my convenience
also). I use http://www.distancefromto.net/ as my
mileage distance determination. (Note that whether you select measurement in
miles, kilometers, or nautical miles, the relative differences appear to be the
same.)
EQUINOX
#3
An Eternal
Sunshine subzine by Heath Gardner
Deadline: Just Repeat
it to yourself: Five Days Before Doug’s!
heath.gardner@gmail.com
I don’t know these guys,
but they are true heroes. (image from boardgamegeek)
Welcome to
the second issue of Equinox, WHERE THERE
IS A GUNBOAT GAMESTART (see below). Equinox is the only subzine to feature A PRESS COMPETITION IN EVERY DIP GAME.
All games are black press (you can use any dateline except the GM’s reserved
one, which is RALEIGH, NC.) YOU DON’T
HAVE TO BE A PLAYER IN THE GAME TO WIN THE CONTEST.
No
time for jibber jabber this go-round. We have a LOT of action in our games.
Since my other dip openings have not gotten any traction, I’m going to pull
those back for now – but if you have interest in Modern and/or Stonehenge, let
me know, I’m keeping those (Very short) lists at hand. NOTE: Facts in Five is
FULL, I have great answers from folks, but I’m holding that until next issue.
You don’t need my sob story, but it’s been a crazy month, I at this moment have
the flu compiling this, and I’m barely going to meet the deadline, so had to
cut one short this issue. Next time, Facts in Five begins and we are FULL,
thank you for the submissions, no more please!
GAMES!! First we do word games, then we do Dip games.
WHERE IN THE WORLD IS KENDO NAGASAKI?
Anyone can
jump in at any time. If you don’t know
the rules, look… anywhere else in the zine.
Don Williams
Mark Twain in
Milano, Italy
Tom Howell
Leonard Bocour in San Francisco
Jim Burgess
Rod Serling in Buenos Aires, Argentina
Marc Ellinger
Michael
Jackson in St. Petersburg, Russia
Rick Desper
Hillary Swank
in Germantown, MD
Chris Babcock
…NMR
Richard Weiss
Groucho Marx
in Quito, Equador
Andy Lischett
J.S. Bach in
Johannesburg, South Africa
Kevin Wilson
…NMR
Mike Ruttinger
Margaret Mead
in St. Helena
Kal
Miller
Woodrow
Wilson in Kalamazoo, MI
Doug Kent
Pete Seeger
in Greenwich Village, NY
Mark Firth
…NMR
HINT TO CLOSEST GUESS: We both worked in the same or similar
industries. My career ended well before yours began, and while both of our
names are well-known, you achieved more success than I did, and not just in one
industry.
DEADLINE FOR
NEXT GUESS: AS ALWAYS, 5 DAYS BEFORE DOUG’S!
FACTS IN FIVE.
Next time.
GUNBOAT (BLACK PRESS) Spring ’01 Results:
“Don’t Taze
Me, Bro!” (Miller Number Pending)
Spring 1901 Results:
Austria:
A Budapest - Serbia
F Trieste - Albania
A Vienna - Galicia (*Bounce*)
England:
F Edinburgh - North Sea
A Liverpool - Yorkshire
F London - English Channel
France:
F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean
A Marseilles Supports A Paris -
Burgundy
A Paris - Burgundy
Germany:
A Berlin - Silesia
F Kiel - Denmark
A Munich - Ruhr
Italy:
F Naples - Tyrrhenian Sea
A Rome - Venice
A Venice - Piedmont
Russia:
A Moscow - Ukraine
F Sevastopol - Black Sea (*Bounce*)
F St Petersburg(sc)
- Gulf of Bothnia
A Warsaw - Galicia (*Bounce*)
Turkey:
F Ankara - Black Sea (*Bounce*)
A Constantinople - Bulgaria
A Smyrna – Armenia
PRESS:
Liv-to-Die (can't wait for Spring
007): The drone of Balkan drums is
increasing in intensity and pitch, must be Doppler approaching me. Our fleets have been dispatched to claim our soverign waters so our limey sailors can climb the tall
masts and look for miscreants or those unfortunates who are fleeing the
impending disasters on the continent.
Peace to all, including the tiny states that rely upon us all to help
them.
-
Wales: Wales arising from my throat as we are pitched into a
press as black as Othello.
-
(Constantinople) - The Sultan looked bored as he observed
the women before him. Suddenly he
pointed to a blonde-haired woman. Two
eunuchs immediately grabbed her arms and led her out of the room. The other women managed not to look relieved
even as they heard the sniffling sobs of the blonde-haired woman. The Sultan cracked his knuckles and smiled. "Let the games begin."
-
TazeMania to GM: Copyright infringement.
-
GM to TazeMania: I don't think
that kid ever copyrighted being assaulted by those police, did he? :-)
-
Westminister Abbey to English
Commonwealth: The Queen is dead! Long live the King!
-
WORKERS OF THE WORLD…GOODNIGHT!
Across the globe, in factories and farms, the unwashed
masses are going to bed gently tonight. Safe and secure in their knowledge that the suzerainty of Lord Amabo will insure peace and prosperity for all. His global reign, which began in the sleepy
town of Chicago, started today upon taking the Oath in Washington DC. His speech as soaring as it insured that
there will be no more war, violence, discrimination or general uncivility at
all. “Everyone will have equality from
this day forward and those who have more than others will just pay their fair
share,” the Lord intoned. “Free
healthcare and no more weapons, shall insure such peace and prosperity and to
that end, I am ordering all armed forces across the globe to lay down their
weapons and start administering health services to everyone,” he concluded.
Across the globe celebrations erupted from London to
Istanbul. “With peace and prosperity for
all, no war
will ever occur again,” a Parisian remarked “all hail Lord Amabo!” A Roman questioned “will just words be
sufficient?”
Meanwhile in outlying regions, nerves were frayed. A Bulgarian noted, “Why do we have to pay for
everyone else who is lazy?” Spaniards
were questions, why healthcare, instead of opportunity to success was the
ultimate end.
Lord Amabo, upon
hearing such comments from Bulgaria and Spain, thundered, “If they are not with
me then they shall be destroyed.”
Indications that troops were massing on the borders of the Spain and
Bulgaria could cause some concern.
In more pressing news, the latest Muscovite pop star, Justi Bieberovsky was arrested
for driving his 24 horse sleigh in excess of 20 miles per hour down Romanov
Avenue. He was also charged with
possession of illegal vodka, a capital offense in Russia. The execution is tentatively scheduled for
tomorrow morning. However, Lady Amabo is devastated at the impending execution and has
offered unlimited broccoli in return for Justi’s
release. No word on the state of such
negotiations.
-
GM to CORPORATE LEADERS OF THE WORLD: Let me guess, you voted
for Yenmor?
-
Robert Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury to Count Berhard
von Bulow: We continue to look forward
to the football match in June.
-
Tsar here. You know it's really me because I'm telling
you one of my orders. I've ordered St
Pete - Bothnia. Ha ha
ha. No,
really. Passed on the
massive appeal of Finland. Anywho, Germany, you've got to let that fleet land. Please?
Me love you long time if you do.
Turkey Lurkey, I'm going to assume
that you didn't do something nutty like open to Armenia. If you did, we can always trade Sevastapol for Constantinople. I'm trying to get to Tunis.
Enggerland: France told me he's
eyeing Liverpool. I got it in this
secret message (*waves message in hand*) whose contents I am not going to show
you. That's how you'll know I'm telling
the truth. Or something like that.
Oesterhase: Presuming that you
recognize Russian hegemony over Serbia, we shouldn't have any problems. (might as well try
to inject some historical accuracy, yes?)
-
Kings of Italy and France: I've heard tell of subversives in
the mountains of Piedmont.
-
King Edward VII to Wilhelm II: Our Admiralty salute
your Generals.
FALL 01 ORDERS DUE FIVE DAYS BEFORE DOUGS.
DEVIANT DIPLOMACY W’00 And Sp’01:
“Bob Denver’s Accordion” (2014Arc08)
This has been running outside the zine. If you are
interested in regular updates or being a standby, please let me know. Here is
the digest of what’s happened so far since gamestart.
If you want to read the press that comes with each update, let me know and you
can follow along. This subzine is already very long
and the press adds another 5-6 pages. I will feature press highlights here from
time to time.
W’00 Proposals
Austria (Mike Ruttinger):
Unit
Transformation - At the turn of the century Europe was already on war footing,
with well-drilled militaries and general staffs that have planned for every
contingency. Now, with war imminent, the major powers are able to summon up the
forces they need immediately. In any winter turn, each power may elect to change
one unit of its choice to a different unit (for example, a fleet may be turned
into an army). To change the unit, it must currently occupy a supply center. A
power's ability to change a unit is independent of whether that power has any
other adjustments pending for the winter (and thus a power with no adjustments
may still change one unit). This rule will continue to apply should other units
beyond fleets and armies come into existence.
England (Doug Kent):
Double
Your Fun Rule – Each player is permitted to propose TWO rules per turn rather
than just one.
France (Kal Miller):
Double
Trouble: 2 Rules Enacted Per Vote
a.k.a. That Escalated Quickly
Deviant Diplomacy Rule #8 shall be amended to the following:
(8) Resolving Votes: a) The rule receiving the most votes goes into effect
beginning the next season. If there is a tie, then all tied rules go into
effect beginning in the next season. and b) The rule
receiving the fewest votes will also go into effect beginning the next season.
If there is a tie and the number of votes received for the tied rules is not
zero, then all tied rules go into effect beginning the next season. If there is
a tie and the number of votes received for the tied rules is zero, then only
rule(s) qualified by rule 8a will be enacted.
Germany (Rob Draniczarek):
Chaos
Reigns: Every spring (after winter builds but before spring orders are
submitted), the GM will roll a 6 sided die. If the number is odd, players are
randomly assigned to countries again (yes, you CAN get re-assigned to the same
country if that's what the random draw determines). If the number is even, one
unit of every country is relocated to a new space (within 2 moves of their
current location, unit and location selected randomly by the GM).
Italy (Mark Firth):
I:00 -
“First Quencher”: New Ice Age, what new Ice Age? It’s Winter
’00, it’s 90 in the shade and boy do these guys need a drink (never mind their
horses)! Fortunately, these new desalination devices that are flooding the
market (sometimes literally) mean there’s plenty of water about.
Each season, one nominated sea province may be used to slake the thirst
of occupying or neighbouring units of the nominating
Power. This has two consequences:
1. Any unit taking advantage can remain in its province and
holds with double strength (it can move or support as normal, but defends at
strength two);
2. A neighbouring unit can
instead move into the newly drained province (armies on the mud flats, fleets
in the channels).
The province remains passable to all units in subsequent seasons, subject to
other Rule amendments, until a further drainage occurs. At this point it
becomes a land province, if somewhat squidgy, passable by armies but not
standard fleets. Should such a fleet be present during this conversion, it is
marooned in the mud and can neither move, support, convoy, nor retreat. So keep
a keen eye out for those giant straws, Cap’n.
Russia (Mark Gallagher):
The pawn option: any
newly built or yet-unmoved piece may have the same advantage as a pawn in chess
on its first move with the option to move one or two spaces. Again, this
is for the unit’s first move from its sc of origin. A hold is considered a move and thus
makes a subsequent move by said holding unit limited to one space.
To make the order the exact route must be specified, ie
a Ven-tyr-mun. The moving unit may bounce in
either space along its specified route. Thus in the above example, a tri
- tyr will bounce the entire
move. This can and does extend the range of a convoy adding a extra space pre or post convoy.
While the army order will have the additional space, the fleet order
accompanying said convoy order would look exactly as it does without the extra
space order in its path.
Turkey (Scott Allen):
BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURES:
Time travelers arrive in Europe and approach each of the power leaders. They
will give advanced weaponry from the future (1 nuclear missile) to whoever
writes the best poem about the movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. The
poem can be free verse, especially since Bill and Ted don't really understand
that whole iambic pentameter junk. Upon delivery the missile can be used
against one supply center on the board, razing the ground, and eliminating that
star from the map. The GM is the judge of the poetry contest and will give the
missile to whomever he determines wrote the best poem, based off of his own
criteria.
SPRING 01 VOTES,
MOVES, AND PROPOSALS FOR FALL:
VOTE RESULTS
France's vote is enacted in a landslide. Everyone cast
all their votes for France's rule, except England who cast two votes for his
proposal and one for France, and Russia who cast three for his own and
one for France.
The first variant rule in Bob Denver's Accordion is thereby
enacted:
Double
Trouble: 2 Rules Enacted Per Vote
a.k.a. That Escalated Quickly
---
Movement
Results -- Spring 1901
Austria:
A
Budapest - Serbia
F
Trieste - Albania
A
Vienna - Trieste (*Bounce*)
England:
F
Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea
A
Liverpool - Yorkshire
F
London - North Sea
France:
F
Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean
A
Marseilles - Burgundy (*Bounce*)
A
Paris - Picardy
Germany:
A
Berlin - Kiel
F
Kiel - Denmark
A
Munich - Burgundy (*Bounce*)
Italy:
F
Naples - Ionian Sea
A
Rome - Apulia
A
Venice - Trieste (*Bounce*)
Russia:
A
Moscow - Warsaw
F
Sevastopol - Black Sea (*Bounce*)
F
St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of
Bothnia
A
Warsaw - Silesia
Turkey:
F
Ankara - Black Sea (*Bounce*)
A
Constantinople - Bulgaria
A
Smyrna - Constantinople
FALL PROPOSALS:
Austria:
Everybody Get M.A.D. --
It's not enough these days just to occupy a country. With nationalist spirits
running high, the time when you could just march through the wheat fields, sow
them with salt, burn down the villagers' houses, and take their women and
children are long gone. These villagers are smart. Maybe it's the fault of those German
scientists for trying to create human-lipizzaner
stallion hybrids, or maybe it's the reported zombie infestation that sprung up
in the British city of Manchester. Regardless, those free-spirited villagers
beat us all to the punch, and now they have a united voice (which they'll
gladly speak with in mobs outside your capital) and now their technology is so
far above our own that we can only fear what happens when they get angry and
resort to terrorism to get their way. And trust me, you wouldn't like them when
they're angry,
because these villagers know something about gamma radiation that we don't...
Under this rule, players who
are "eliminated" by reason of no supply centers are not out of the game.
Instead, they may propose rules
in the same way as any other player. They also control one vote for the
purposes of voting on these rules. In addition, to influence matters, every
spring these powers acquire one gamma-radiation bomb that they may use during
either the spring of fall turn. Gamma bombs mustbe used in the
year acquired, and can be used to attack any space on the map. The effect of a
gamma bomb is to destroy any unit occupying the space it is in (but not the
supply center) and to render that space impassable for that turn only.
Because the effect of a gamma bomb is so sudden, it is considered to be
adjudicated just prior to the Spring movement phase.
This means, for example, that any orders given to a unit in a space hit with a
gamma bomb are effectively invalided, because that unit no longer exists. For
example, if Army Galicia is ordered to move to Budapest on the same turn that a
gamma bomb is used on Galicia, that move will not occur (because the army was
destroyed prior to the movement).
England:
Improved French Rule – Any rule which receives
as least one net positive vote passes and becomes effective in the normal
manner. Instead of voting FOR a rule, you may also allocate SC vote
points AGAINST a rule, thereby reducing its vote total.
France:
Corsica Rising: Corsica becomes
French Home SC
Upon adoption of this rule,
Corsica will be passable and a French Home supply center, adjacent to GOL, WMD,
and TYS.
Germany:
Down the Beer Barrel: After reaching the end of his seemingly
never-ending beer barrel, the Kaiser inexplicably found himself being drawn
into the barrel. Upon emerging from the other side, he found himself in a new
and wondrous world, strikingly similar to his old world, but completely new as
well.
The game will now be played on the Alacavre
map.
link to that
map : http://www.vdiplomacy.com/variants.php?variantID=31
Italy:
Seconds Out.
The alpha male gets what he wants (and he
sure wants a lot). But there’s those in the pecking
order who want stuff too. Well, if they want stuff, then stuff ‘em!
Whichever player has most centres
in a particular Winter season can choose to neutralise the orders of a player with the second most
units in the Spring season, at the cost of one disband per three frozen units.
The disbanded units can be rebuilt as normal the following Winter.
If two or more players share the lead, they can
each disband a unit to cause the neutralisation (hey,
these guys need to keep an eye on each other too). Only orders or parts of
orders that match will be successful, though.
Russia:
Anaconda Rule:
Each Spring
you alternate between three states. Submitting orders for the power to
your clockwise, submitting rules to
the power to your counterclockwise (as dictated by eastern and western
hemispheres initially, and to be adjusted by the GM as powers are eliminated)
and submitting your own orders
Power Spring 1 Spring 2 Spring 3 - Self for all
|
England
|
Germany
|
France
|
|
Germany
|
France
|
England
|
|
Russia
|
Turkey
|
Austria
|
|
Turkey
|
Italy
|
Russia
|
|
Austria
|
Russia
|
Italy
|
|
Italy
|
Austria
|
Turkey
|
|
France
|
England
|
Germany
|
So next spring: England
sends in moves for Germany who sends in moves for France, etc.
The following spring:
England sends in moves for France who sends in moves for Germany, etc
The spring after that everybody
takes care of their own orders.
Repeat.
Sub Vote. In the event of
this rule passing, a second
vote must be made to determine what happens once an
elimination occurs. Either:
1) The GM will reset the
table in a way that makes sense.
2) This rule expires when a power is eliminated.
Each power has as many votes as
they have SC's.
Turkey:
YOU FEELING LUCKY PUNK
Each
season, every country submits movement not just for their own units, but for
all units on the board. Each country is randomly assigned a number each season
(1-7). The GM then rolls an 8 sided die. If 1-7 is rolled then that country's
submitted moves for all units on the board happen. If 8 is
rolled then normal movement happens with each country deciding where to move.
So...do you feel lucky, punk? Huh, do ya?
Scott Allen’s Corner: (Scott is fairly new to dip and totally
new to this community. If you’d like to comment on Scott’s piece or request the
map that proves his story here – couldn’t print it here – email him at scottdjallen@gmail.com.)
“So I waited until his units were
all up fighting against Germany and his back side was exposed and then I moved
in and took three of his supply centers.” I smiled, beaming with pride as I
detailed my recent solo victory to my colleague.
“So you lied to him?” Jesse said.
“You told him what he wanted to hear to get what you wanted?”
“Well when you put it like that, I
guess it doesn’t sound too great.”
“Doesn’t it scare you?”
“What do you mean?”
“That you are so good at all of this
lying and deception. You lied and then won the
game because of it, and you lied for a
long time. Doesn’t that worry you?”
“I don’t know...I mean, I guess.”
“Well it worries me.”
I would like to consider myself a
moral person. I go to church every Sunday, I try to be honest in my dealings, I teach my children about Jesus and being kind. But, I also
play Diplomacy.
Now, I’m not saying that a Dip player
cannot also be a moral person. But sometimes when I play I feel a disconnect between these two “lives” I’m living. My “real” life and my Diplomacy life.
For example, the game I am
discussing began online in July 2013 and was called Till the Bitter End. While
I was still relatively new to the hobby I had become tired of NMR’s and
auto-surrendering countries. So, Till the Bitter End sounded like a good game
to join. I randomly drew Turkey and quickly began my negotiations. I started by
talking with Russia, proposing that we figure out the Black Sea (you know Spring 1901 stuff). He was sincere in his reply, a message
full of pathetic sadness that I’ve not seen before nor
since. He told me that he’d been eliminated early in the last five games he had
played. Whatever power he drew, he said, he would negotiate and then have his
“allies” betray him, eventually leading to his downfall.
So, I did what any good Diplomacy
player would do: I allied with him. He and I destroyed Austria quickly, and
then moved on to Germany. I got embroiled in a war with Italy in the
Mediterranean which “required” most of my units and gently pushed Russia
towards the German front. Once the Russian controlled Austrian centers were
exposed to me I struck.
I took three of his supply centers
off of him in one year, crippling him. Then taking Russia out and winning the
game with a solo was relatively easy.
What was not easy
was reading the message he sent me after the stab. How could you, he said. I
trusted you. You preyed upon my insecurities and then took advantage of my weak
spots. I would have shared the victory with you--two-way draw. I wrote him back
and was civil in my reply--it was nothing personal, just the way the game goes
sometimes, sorry.
I don’t know if there really is a
definite answer for this. Am I using Diplomacy to get all the lying and
trickery out of my system so it doesn’t appear in my everyday life? Am I a liar
at heart? I mean, I’ve been relatively successful in my Diplomacy
games--soloing several times in just my first year of playing. And I attribute
my success, at least in part, to my ability to deceive the other players, to
lie, to trick, and essentially prey on the other players. So the question that
I’m grappling with, the question that I deal with every time I sign up for a
new Diplomacy game, is can I still be considered a good, moral, and upstanding
person.
Edmund, Gloucester’s bastard son, in
Shakespeare’s play King Lear states: “My father/compounded with my
mother under the Dragon’s/tail, and my nativity was under Ursa Major, so that
it/follows I am rough and lecherous. Fut, I should/have been that I am, had the
maidenliest star in the/firmament twinkled on my bastardizing.”
Would love
to hear other opinions on this topic. Please reply to this zine and I’ll
send you a pizza roll.
Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening
in ES):
Signed up: Paul Milewski, Arthur Shulman, Brad Wilson, Mark Firth, needs three more.
African Dip: Phil Reynolds’ fun
map variant. Rules and map in issue
#84. Signed up:
Gardner, K. Wilson, needs 4 more.
World Cup Tournament and NCAA Tournament
Contests:
Check in Richard Weiss’ Zero Sum for details on his new offerings!
The following indented listings are just SOME
of the games now offered in Heath Gardner’s new subzine Equinox. Make sure you sign up with him directly for
these, not with me. And check out his
subzine to see what other games are offered, including his own game of Kendo
Nagasaki.
Modern Diplomacy: A 10-player
variant including powers like Poland, Egypt, and Ukraine. Run by Heath Gardner in his new subzine
Equinox. Contact him at Heath.Gardner@gmail.com to sign up or
to ask for rules and a map. Signed up:
Douglas Kent, needs 9 more.
Stonehenge Dip: A 9-player
variant, also GM’d by Heat in his subzine Equinox. Contact him at Heath.Gardner@gmail.com to
sign up. Signed up:
Douglas Kent, Geoff Kemp, needs 7 more.
Facts in Five: Also GM’d by Heat
in his subzine Equinox. Needs between 3 and 5 players. Contact him at Heath.Gardner@gmail.com to
sign up.
Acquire: Can take up to six players. Signed up: Hank Alme, Tom
Howell, Ricvhard Weiss, can take up to three more.
By Popular Demand: Back to the regular
BPD instead of BAPD. Join
at any time.
Eternal Sunshine Movie Quote Quiz: Join anytime.
Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?:
Rules
in ES #58. Join anytime! Also a SECOND game being run by Heath
Gardner in his subzine Equinox and a THIRD game in The Abyssinian Prince!
Coming Soon?: 1898,
Middle Eastern Diplomacy, Balkan Wars VI, Colonia VII-B. If you’re interested in one of these
variants, or have a suggestion, let me know.
Standby List:
HELP! I need standby players! – Current
standby list: Richard Weiss, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Hank Alme, Martin
Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson (including Woolworth), Chris
Babcock, Marc Ellinger, Heath Gardner, Jack McHugh, and whoever I beg into it
in an emergency.
Diplomacy
“Dulcinea” 2008C, W 27
Seasons
Separated by Player Request
Austria (Martin
Burgdorf – martin_burgdorf “of” hotmail.com): Remove
A Ruhr..Has A Burgundy, A
Paris,
A Picardy.
England (Hank Alme –
almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): Build F
Liverpool, A London, A Edinburgh..Has
F
Barents Sea, A Belgium, F Berlin, A Brest, A
Edinburgh, A Holland, F Liverpool, A London, A Moscow, A Munich,
F
North Sea, F Norwegian Sea, A St Petersburg, A
Ukraine.
Turkey (Jim Burgess
– jfburgess “of” gmail.com): Build A Constantinople..Has
F Aegean Sea, F Baltic Sea,
A
Bohemia, A Constantinople, F Eastern Mediterranean, F English Channel, A
Galicia, F Gascony,
F
Ionian Sea, F Marseilles, A Prussia, A Sevastopol, A Silesia, F Spain(sc), A Tyrolia, F Tyrrhenian Sea,
F Western Mediterranean.
S 28 Deadline is March 25th at
7:00am my time
PRESS
Martin
to Jim: Your press to Hank is a
disgrace. You expect his help in another game in return for providing him with
a totally undeserved two-way draw in this one. This gives you an unfair
advantage over everybody else in this other game.
Doug –
Martin: “Crossgaming” has been
generally frowned upon for decades within the hobby. However, I don’t think Jim was serious is his
comment.
“Dulcinea”
Diplomacy Bourse
Billy Ray Valentine: Probably in his
limousine.
Duke of York: Sells 500 Pounds.
Buy 371 Piastres.
Smaug the Dragon: Snore.
Rothschild: Sells 500 Piastres. Buys 673 Pounds.
Baron Wuffet: Zip.
Wooden Nickel
Enterprises:
Nothing.
VAIONT Enterprises: Resting his eyes.
Insider Trading LLC:
Grand
Jury hearing.
Bourse Master: Stands pat.
PRESS
(DUKE OF
YORK to WOODEN NICKEL): I
welcome your buying of Pounds. Keep it
up. That will help me in my churning
mission. You too, Rothschild!
Next Bourse Deadline is March 24th at 7:00pm my time
Diplomacy
“Jerusalem” 2012A, S 09
Austria (Melinda
Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A
Tyrolia Supports A Venice,
A
Venice Supports A Tyrolia (*Cut*).
England (John Biehl
– jerbil “of” shaw.ca): F Baltic Sea Supports A Kiel, A Belgium
– Burgundy,
A
Brest - Paris (*Fails*), F English Channel Supports F North Atlantic
Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*),
A
Kiel Supports A Ruhr, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Gascony (*Bounce*),
F
North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*), F Norway - St Petersburg(nc) (*Fails*),
A
Picardy Supports A Brest - Paris (*Cut*), F Portugal - Spain(sc) (*Bounce*),
A
Ruhr Supports A Belgium - Burgundy.
Germany (Heath
Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): A
Berlin Hold, A Paris Hold.
Italy (Mark Firth – mark.r.firth
“of” capita.co.uk): A Burgundy - Picardy (*Disbanded*),
F
Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc) (*Bounce*), F North
Africa - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*),
A
Spain - Gascony (*Bounce*), F Trieste - Venice (*Fails*),
F
Western Mediterranean Supports F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc)
(*Fails*).
Russia (Richard
Weiss – richardweiss “of” higherquality.com): A Moscow
– Warsaw,
A
Prussia Supports A Moscow – Warsaw, A Sevastopol Hold, A St Petersburg -
Norway (*Fails*).
Turkey (Geoff Kemp -
ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): F Aegean Sea -
Ionian Sea, F Black Sea Hold,
A Bohemia
Supports A Munich, A Budapest – Vienna, A
Constantinople – Bulgaria,
A
Munich Supports A Berlin - Kiel (*Void*), A Piedmont – Marseilles,
A
Silesia Supports A Prussia - Berlin (*Void*), F Tuscany - Gulf of Lyon
(*Fails*).
Concession to Turkey Fails
F 09 Deadline is March 25th at 7:00am my time
PRESS
Turkey – All: Apologies for lack of communication, it’s been
one hell of a couple of weeks, hopefully better contact next season. Sorry.
(Biehl to Boob): I did buy a clue (not
sure yet who did it but it was definitely the knife in the ......), no friends
here, apparently (so you got that right).
London (Apr1, 1909): The Times
today retracted their earlier report of Austrian Zombies in the Tyrol. A noted
researcher, Dr Ima Kraizd ,a noted scientist of the
Occult, after exhaustive study (in the field, chasing a buxom Tyrolian peasant
gal) states that the alleged Zombies are, in fact, Thralls. "Ya, dey are
apparinkly hypsnotized by der oriental swammies dot speaken der Turk."
(BOOB to WASTED ISRAELITES): Am I still
the only one writing press? You do
realize that your wastedness is what generated Doug's frustration and the lame
categories this month in By Popular Demand????
I blame all of you.
Doug – Boob: Actually it is your fault, but you don’t
realize why.
(BOOB to TURKEY): And they better not all
have weakly conceded to you!!!
HEATH to ALL - Are we having fun yet? Wait. Am I having fun
yet? ... Not yet!
Diplomacy
“Walkerdine” 2012D, S 05
Austria
(paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): A
Budapest - Serbia.
England
(Marc Ellinger - mellinger “of” bbdlc.com): F
Barents Sea Hold, F Finland - Sweden (*Bounce*),
A
Livonia - Moscow (*Bounce*), A Moscow - Ukraine (*Fails*), F North Sea
Hold,
A St
Petersburg Supports A Livonia - Moscow.
France
(Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): A Belgium - Holland
(*Bounce*), F Marseilles - Spain(sc),
F
Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea, F Rome Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea – Naples, F
Tunis - Ionian Sea (*Fails*),
A
Tyrolia - Trieste (*Fails*), F Tyrrhenian Sea – Naples, F Western
Mediterranean - Tyrrhenian Sea.
Germany
(Steve Cooley – tmssteve “of” gmail.com): A
Berlin – Prussia,
F
Gulf of Bothnia - Sweden (*Bounce*), A Kiel - Holland (*Bounce*), A
Munich - Tyrolia (*Fails*),
A
Silesia - Bohemia (*Fails*), F Sweden – Norway, A Venice - Apulia
(*Fails*),
A
Vienna Supports A Tyrolia - Trieste (*Cut*), A Warsaw Supports A Berlin -
Prussia.
Italy
(Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): F Naples Supports F Ionian Sea
(*Disbanded*).
Russia
(Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): F Adriatic Sea Supports A Trieste -
Venice (*Void*),
A
Sevastopol - Ukraine (*Bounce*), A Ukraine - Galicia.
Turkey (Chris
Babcock - cbabcock “of” asciiking.com): A Smyrna – Constantinople (No
Such Unit),
F Aegean Sea Supports F Ionian Sea, F Apulia Supports F Naples
(*Cut*), A Bohemia - Vienna (*Fails*),
F
Greece Supports F Ionian Sea, F Ionian Sea Supports F Naples (*Cut*),
A
Trieste Supports A Bohemia - Vienna (*Cut*).
Deadline
for F 05 is March 25th at 7am my time
PRESS
(BOOB
to MARC):
You didn't even bother to ask me not to stab, so how could I pass it up?
Doug –
Boob:
I didn’t realize I need to include “please don’t stab me” in all by diplomatic
messages…
(FRANCE
to ITALY):
I think you have your answer....
(FRANCE
to TURKEY):
We still need to talk....
England
to Turkey: Since we’re soon to be neighbors, should we
share coffee/tea ideas? Maybe share
some Russian tea dots?
English
Fleet North Sea: Look at the lovely waves and the bright blue
skies. Wish we had something to do, but
we get to go home and drink whenever we want.
BBC: Turmoil in Ukraine!! Russians to be evicted by Ukrainian freedom
fighters supported by the Western Powers….Amazing how Real Life follows
Diplomacy!
(BOOB
to MARC--LATE EDITION): Near deadline, I did get something from you, but it
was too late. Sorry....
Doug –
Boob:
You’re too old to change your mind at the last minute; it’s hard enough for you
to remember what you’re doing at all.
Italy
to Turkey:
I wonder how much longer the French-English-German alliance will hold with all
of those supply centers so ripe for the taking.
Black
Press Gunboat, “Fred Noonan”, 2013Arb32, F 06
England: Disband F London.. F Edinburgh Hold.
France: A Belgium Supports A Burgundy
(*Cut*), F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Burgundy Supports A Belgium,
F Liverpool
- North Atlantic Ocean, F London Hold, A Picardy
Supports A Belgium, F Wales Supports F London.
Germany:
A Berlin Supports A
Munich, F Denmark - North Sea,
F
Gulf of Bothnia - St Petersburg(sc)
(*Bounce*), A Holland - Belgium (*Fails*),
A
Munich Supports A Berlin (*Cut*), F North Sea - Yorkshire.
Italy: F Adriatic Sea - Ionian Sea, F Albania Supports F Adriatic Sea -
Ionian Sea,
A
Bohemia Supports A Tyrolia – Munich, A Budapest -
Serbia (*Fails*), F Ionian Sea - Eastern Mediterranean,
A
Trieste Supports A Budapest – Serbia, A Tyrolia -
Munich (*Fails*).
Russia: Retreat
A Warsaw - Silesia..
A Livonia Supports A Silesia – Warsaw,
A
Moscow - St Petersburg (*Disbanded*), F North Atlantic Ocean - Norwegian
Sea, A Silesia - Warsaw.
Turkey: F Aegean Sea Supports F Greece, F Greece Hold, A Rumania Supports A Serbia, A Serbia Hold,
A
Sevastopol Supports A Warsaw – Moscow, A Ukraine Supports A Warsaw – Moscow, A
Warsaw - Moscow.
Deadline
for W 06/S 07 Will Be March 25th at 7am My Time
Supply Center Chart
England:
Edinburgh=1, Even
France:
Belgium, Brest, Liverpool,
London, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=8, Build 1
Germany:
Berlin, Denmark, Holland,
Kiel, Munich, Norway, Sweden=7, Build 1
Italy:
Budapest, Naples, Rome,
Trieste, Tunis, Venice, Vienna=7, Even
Russia:
St Petersburg, Warsaw=2,
Remove 1
Turkey:
Ankara, Bulgaria,
Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol,
Smyrna=9, Build 2
PRESS
(RUSSIA
to FRANCE):
What a wimp! If you don't attack Italy
soon, he's going to win!
(ITALY
to RUSSIA):
You're insane, this is an IF all the way to the
bank. We have Turkey cowed, he can't
stop us!!!! Mooohahahaha!!!
(GERMANY
to FRANCE):
Just kill me now, please!!!
T
-> R:
The successful cooperation between the King of Italy and myself
will continue.
Italy
to France:
All good here.
Russia
- Turkey:
Leave Warsaw and Moscow and I'll let you deal with Italy unhindered. Can't say fairer than that!
Diplomacy “Sweet Spot” 2013A, A/W 05
Seasons Separated by Player Request
England
(Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): Has A
Liverpool, A London.
France (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Retreat
F North Sea - Holland.. Build A Paris..Has
F
English Channel, A Gascony, F Holland, A Kiel, F
Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Munich, A Paris.
Germany
(Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com):
Has A Denmark.
Italy
(Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of”
gmail.com): Disband A Munich..Build
A Venice..Has
F
Gulf of Lyon, F Ionian Sea, A Marseilles, F North Africa, A Portugal, F Spain(sc), A Tyrolia, A Venice, A
Vienna.
Russia
(Chris Babcock –
cbabcock “of” asciiking.com ): Build F St
Petersburg(nc), plays 1 short..Has
A
Berlin, F North Sea, A Silesia, F Skagerrak, F St Petersburg(nc), A Sweden, A Warsaw.
Turkey
(Larry Peery – peery “of”
ix.netcom.com): Build A Ankara..Has F Aegean Sea, A
Ankara,
A
Budapest, A Bulgaria, A Galicia, A Greece, A Serbia.
F/I/R/T
Draw Fails
Now
Proposed – Concession to R, E/F/G/I/R/T, F/I/R/T.
Please
vote, NVR=No.
Deadline for S 06 Will Be March 25th at 7am
My Time
PRESS
(Fra - Board): No press.
Too busy packing for vacation.
(BOOB to SWEETSTERS): You
had better not call a lazy draw at this point!!! I'll bet Jack wishes you'd put him out of his
misery from this one....
Doug – Boob:
Since NVR=No, lazy players are not likely to pass draws…
Heath to Melinda - I
know we said I'd retreat to Ruhr,, but looking at the
map to submit orders, I don't really see how that helps, and I don't want to
risk Turkey trying to roll me here. However, my assault is o-v-e-r over, let's
wrap this up and each claim our rightful share of the draw.
Heath to Larry, Chris and Melinda: Well, if those emails we exchanged this season were
legitimate, we're agreed that the four of us are essentially stuck where we are
or Chris wins. Since we've all agreed yes to the draw, if it does not pass this
season, let's play clean-up and then try again.
Woolworth
II-D “Coney Island” 2013Bcb19, S 05
Austria
(Secret): A Swi-Mar.
Balkans
(Secret): A Gre-Alb, F Alb-Adr,
A Ser-Bud, A Tri S A
Vie-Tyr, A Vie-Tyr.
England
(Secret): F Lon S F Nth-Eng (NSO), A Lpl-Yor.
France (Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): F Tys-Tun,
A Bre-Par, F Eng S F Nwg-Nth.
Germany
(Marc Ellinger - mellinger
“of” bbdlc.com): A Ber S A Bur-Mun, A Kie S A Ber, A Ruh S A Bur-Mun,
A Bur-Mun.
Italy
(Secret):
F Tun S F Ion-Tys
(ret Alg,OTB), F Tus S F
Ion-Tys, A Pie-Mar, A Nap-Rom, A Ven-Rom.
Russia
(Jim Burgess - jfburgess
“of” gmail.com): F Bal S A Sil-Ber, A Sil-Ber, A Pru S A Sil-Ber, A War-Gal,
A Ukr
S A War-Gal.
Scandinavia
(Geoff Kemp - ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): F Nwy-Nwg,
F Edi S F Nwy-Nwg,
F Nth S F Nwy-Nwg (ret Nwy, Ska, Hel, Hol, OTB), A
Den H.
Spain
(Secret): F Nwg-Nth, F Wms S F Tys-Tun, F Mad-Mar,
A Por-Bas, A Bel H.
Turkey
(Hugh Polley – hapolley
“of” yahoo.ca): F Bla-Con, A Rum S A
Bul, A Bul S A Rum, F Ion-Tys,
F
Ems-Ion.
Deadline
for F 05 is March 25th at 7am My Time
PRESS
England
– Vikings:
Look, I need a friend, so am trying to help you.
Heath
to Marc:
Yeah, I blew the beginning of this game. Now it looks like you COULD be in
trouble (tho the map is ... hard to read for someone diplomacy-stupid like me).
If you want my assistance, I will enter whatever you need...
Scandinavia
to All:
Apologies for lack of contact, having a manic time at the moment, better communications
next season hopefully.
By
Popular Demand
The goal is to pick something that fits the
category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points
based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category
is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1
for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the
lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will
determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an
equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round.
If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round
added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your
answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be
doubled. In other words, if you apply
your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same
answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.
Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their
Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit
some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds, with the
10th round being worth double points. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted, but cooperation or
collusion between players is not!
Round 3 Categories
1.
The one and only correct religion (answers must match exactly).
2. The most guilty party in the Arab-Israeli conflict.
3. What Hitler was right about.
4. The NFL team with the biggest crybabies for fans.
5. Which amendment in the Bill of Rights we should do away with (answer by
number).
Selected Comments By
Category
My goal with these categories was mainly to see who would focus on
their own beliefs, and who would remember the game and give the answer they
considered most likely to be popular.
Some players did both, by expanding in the commentary on their own
beliefs but answering based on what would score the most. Others stuck with what they personally
believed and thereby possibly sabotaged their score.
*Michael Quirk’s answer to #3 was “All propaganda has to be
popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least
intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach.”
Religion – John
Biehl “The one and only correct religion? Trick question since all
religions are simply imaginary constructs invented in early historical times
without the benefit of the modern rational scientific method, a prime example
being the earlier historical assertion that the earth was flat and at the
center of the universe, etc, etc, etc (for all the other 'gobblediegook'
masquerading as 'religion'). The only correct 'religion' although it is not per
se a religion is Atheism. I don't believe there are denominations there so
there is no requirement to 'be specific'.”
Andy Lischett “Although an incorrect answer, to try to
earn points I will say atheism. It seems that the most popular religion
in America is Pantheism, or worship of nature. Mass media subtly (or maybe not)
denigrates religion and supports tree hugging.”
Marc Ellinger “The original and still running longest show on earth!” Geoff Kemp “I could say they are all as bad
as each other, possible Buddhism is one of two or three that are LESS bad than
the rest!”
Arab/Israeli
– John Biehl “The 'Arab' of the Arab/Israeli conflict is clearly the
most guilty party here because the implication explicit in the term 'Arab/Israeli'
is of the plural hence Arab refers to Arabs in general and they (Egypt, Syria,
Jordan, Iraq, etc) sent forces to eliminate Israel when the Jews in 'Palestine'
declared the state of Israel. Historically, the Jews came from this region - the Arabs
only came as conquerors. The Jews were there first, they don't claim Mecca yet
the Muslim 'Arabs' try to claim Jerusalem. What a despicable religious lie!” Kevin Wilson “I want to say the rest of the
world for not going in and telling the two sides to act like civilized nations
instead of the bronze-age idiots they insist on emulating.. The original mistake was imposing the Israeli
state on a region that was largely Arab and muslim but
that damage has been done and was done by the rest of us supporting the
Israelis. Both sides have behaved
irrationally and belligerently since the start.
I assign blame equally and say Both (or neither
depending on the proper grammatical answer).
(Cop out answer I know but neither side deserves to be identified as the
lesser of two evils by default).” Andy
Lischett “I don't know who is more to blame or if someone is to blame at all.
My very little knowledge - if correct - is that way back there were a lot of
nomadic Arab tribes who passed through - including Jews, then Jews settled,
then they were thrown out but nobody really settled the area again until Israel
and Palestine were created around WWII. Since WWII Arabs first attacked Israel
and lost territory for their efforts and Israel is reluctant to give any territory
back because they don't believe that would resolve the Arab hostility. I think
I agree with Israel.” Jack McHugh “The
Swiss, they don’t fool me with that neutrality crap.” Heather Taylor “My answer is a South Park
reference.” Marc
Ellinger “Suicide bombers, etc.
If the Arabs would let the Israelis be, we could actually see peace in
the Mideast.” Heath Gardner “Was tempted
to write "God" but that conflicts with my
answer #1.”
Status
Quo…leader Dick Martin gets the high score with 52, and Mark Firth in last
place also gets the low score of 8.
Hitler – John
Biehl “Hitler was right about the western powers not defending Czechoslovakia
in 1938.” Marc Ellinger “Autobahns – now
those are real highways, not like the crap we have in America.” Geoff Kemp “It is the one thing that could
have saved the third Reich, just glad that he was stopped before he did. i couldn't think of a single other thing that was right.”
NFL Fans – John Biehl “I'd like
to say Seahawk fans due to that criminally officiated Superbowl versus
Pittsburgh where Seattle got jobbed (the reason why I will never buy any NFL
merchadise - not because I'm a fan of Seattle, I'm not particularly, but
because of the horrid, horrid officiating in that game). My answer has to be
the
Detroit Lions since they have a
lot to cry about still.” Rick Desper
“Very tempted to answer none for @4. But randomly lashing out at the Cowboys seemed funnier.” Marc Ellinger “Whiners, complainers,
losers. Every Cowboy fan is a
combination of all three of these.”
Amendment – John
Biehl “#2 - get rid of the right to bear arms because this right has been
abused with the
ease with which military
style Assault rifles can be obtained and used. I'm not an American. The simple fact is so
many Americans are killed by guns, way many more than in any other 'western'
first world country. Americans ought to
be utterly ashamed of all the mass murders, the sheer numbers of them. This use
of guns in America is, unfortunately, symptomatic of something wrong in the USA
- a lack of education, a lack of social democracy (social programs) and way too
much neo-conservatism (and religious fundamentalism, as well). Quite frankly,
many other (if they are honest) 'first world westerners' would say American
society is sick (mentally ill and/or insane). Oh, and by the way, your federal
government under the Republicans, ever since Reagan, has been guilty of War
Crimes (Iran Contra Affair - swept under the rug - can't let anything stick to
the 'Great Communicator' can we?), (Bush the Senior -
First Gulf War - "this has nothing to do with democracy" - remember
that quote?) & (Geroge Bush the Junior plus the
Rumsfeld/Cheney cabal, etc - Saddam has 'weapons of mass destruction', they
have uranium, etc, etc - NO Weapons of Mass Destruction were ever found!! - talk about a big lie - Tony Blair the puppet is implicated
too - all that money, all those Iraqi civilians who died - how many was it? - oh, the 'so-called news organizations' don't publicize that
very much do they? - Republican big business lobbyist war mongers. Sick! Kevin Wilson “I could personally do without
the 2nd but the 7th is the least impactful.
If the question was which COULD we do without,
I’d go with the 7th as no one would care much.
But, the question is SHOULD so I’ll say the 2nd. People can have all the hunting rifles and
sport guns they want but automatic assault rifles and handguns aren’t
necessary.” Andy Lischett “The
Government - many governments, not just the horrendous current government - do
their best to ignore and circumvent the Bill of Rights already, so even for a
game I'm not going to give up any of them. Barack Obama's first lie as
president was "I (...) will (...) preserve, protect and defend the
Constitution of the United States.” Jack
McHugh “I’d like to have some female troops stay at my place.” Andy York “The $20 limit really needs to be
raised!” Jim Burgess “This is the
politically correct answer, you probably wanted us to say the First Amendment,
but I'll stand on the second.” Marc
Ellinger “This is a very tough question.
I think the Bill of Rights are amazing. But if there is one to get rid of, it would
be civil claims over $20 in a jury and common law. I would be curious to see what people think
is the MOST important amendment…that would be really tough.” Steve Cooley “Actually, we ought to worry
about reinstating some of them rather than doing away with them.”
Round 4 Categories – Baseball!
1. A fielding position
in baseball.
2. A member of the
Baseball Hall of Fame.
3. The worst team
currently in Major League Baseball.
4. A type of pitch in
baseball.
5. A location that once
had a Major League Baseball team, but no longer does.
Deadline for Round 4 is March 25th at 7:00am
my time
March
2014
